


Misgiving

by ElCapitan18



Series: Misgiving [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 18:16:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 192,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2438309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElCapitan18/pseuds/ElCapitan18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war is won, the galaxy has survived the Reaper threat, and our heroes stand in the aftermath with nothing left to live for. How does Shepard survive without her love? How does Thane survive when everything he knows is gone? Their journey of self-discovery starts here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy the read!

  _Breathe_. Tightly clenching her teeth Shepard demanded herself to keep her shit together. At a lazy pace the elevator ascended, unaware and unconcerned of her urgency. The sound of her pounding heart throttled unhappy fists against her eardrums in protest of the delay. When the elevator doors finally swooshed open, unveiling the lobby of Huerta Memorial Hospital, she threw herself free from the suffocating death trap.  
  
    It was crowded, people of all shapes and sizes seeking aid from medical professionals. Under different circumstances she would have paced the lobby alert to these people’s needs, ears twitching like those of a cat’s in hopes of maybe finding a way to help someone with something. As it was she didn’t have time for detours. He needed her.  
  
    “Excuse me,” said a murmur that sounded almost like her voice as she trampled over a salarian. She had no idea where she was going, not the slightest inkling as to where they were hiding him. Breathe. It wouldn’t do for the great and renowned Commander Shepard to lose it in the middle of the hospital.  
  
    Poking her head into a room she called, “Thane?” It was the third room she had tried. And she intended to go on with the same technique throughout the rest of the goddamn hospital until she found her drell. Panic swelled within her, tightening her chest as it inflated all the way to her throat until it was impossible to breathe or swallow. Was she too late? Was he already dead? _God, Arashu, Kalahira,_ anyone, _please don’t let him be dead_.  
  
    Warily noting her distress, a human doctor risked his life and stepped out to intercept Anya before she barged into yet another room and scared a few more patients. He raised an expectant eyebrow, patiently waiting for Shepard to verbalize her needs. “Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for a drell named Thane Krios.” Her hands balled into fists at her sides. Either he helped her or he got the hell out of her way. If she wasn’t too late already then she was wasting time.  
  
    A hesitant look washed over the doctor’s face. Anya’s heart tightened at the sight of it. It was a ‘please don’t let me be the bearer of bad news’ look. She had worn it herself on many occasions. Eyes focused on the data pad in his hand, he flicked through the information compiled within. Upon finding what he was looking for grimness darkened his features.  
  
    The doctor’s face was expressionless as he informed her, “We have a drell here, though not under that name.”  
  
    Have, not had. There was a chance that Thane was still alive. She still had a chance. Pouncing on the dim hope that she wasn’t too late, Shepard elaborated, “He was injured. Stab wound. He’s a regular patient here.” That blade had gone right through him, cutting what time they had short. She exercised the thought, purging it from her mind. He was alive. It wasn’t too late. There was hope.   
  
    “It’s alright, it’s alright,” his voice turned soothing, it was a futile attempt to slow her down. “I see.” Shepard was imagining the somberness of his voice. Nothing good came from a doctor who sounded somber. Gesturing for her to follow suit he stalked down the hall some, seeking a veneer of privacy in a hospital that offered none. “The doctors were able to repair a lot of the trauma. However, Mister . . . um, Krios is in the final stages of Keprals Syndrome.”  
  
    Her already tight chest constricted some more. He was going to pinch out the meager flame of hope that she had forced herself to rally. He was going to crush her into dust under his feet.  
  
    “At its worst Keprals Syndrome interferes with his blood’s ability to carry oxygen. And he’s lost a lot of it.” The attending doctor paused, inspecting her face, searching her eyes. Did he find pleasure in destroying her? Was that why he was showing no mercy? “Now, they’ve given him a transfusion, but frankly, there was a limited supply of drell blood on the citadel.”  
  
    That was something she could work with. She had a ship. She had money. There were bound to be drell blood banks hiding around somewhere. She’d faced more challenging missions a dozen times over. “I’ll get more. Give me his blood type.” Shepard would have given him her own blood if it had been possible, all of it if need be.  
  
    Frowning he shook his head, hacking away at her just as she had started to hold herself together. His tone was almost scolding when he shunned her offer to help. As if she were being foolish in thinking there was anything she could do. It was probably the case. He was the doctor. She was only a soldier. “That’s not going to work. Only one other drell on the station is a match, and that drell is in with him now. We did all we could to help him through surgery, but his body can’t replace lost blood with new cells. Too much shock. His son, Kolyat, he’s in there saying his goodbyes. You might want to say yours.”   
  
    No. He was lying. This was a sick joke. She was not going to lose Thane after just getting him back. Six whole months she had been forced to survive without him. It had been a hell that nearly ruined her. And that had only been six months. Did this man honestly expect her to say goodbye and get on with her life?  
  
    Shepard clenched her eyes shut, forcing her emerging tears to stand back. It wasn’t over. Thane wasn’t going to die. Not on her watch. Prying her eyelids open she marched into the room that the doctor had waved her to.   
  
    The doors slid open. Kolyat was bowed over his father, hands held in prayer. At the airy sound of opening entries the young man stiffened and turned to face the intruder. His shoulders relaxed at the sight of her. “Commander Shepard,” his gravelly voice greeted her. Though his tone was friendly there was no disguising the distress that boiled over inside of the boy that was a darker shade of green than his father. “My father mentioned that you were no longer incarcerated.”  
  
    He glanced down to the floor. If he had been human he would have blushed. “I don’t know if you remember me,” Remember him? Of course she remembered him. If the situation wasn’t what it was Anya would have greeted him with the warmth she saved for her friends. “I’m Kolyat Krios. I came to give blood and . . . well . . . “  
  
    Well, indeed. They both glanced over his shoulder at the man who occupied the hospital bed. Though Shepard’s view was obscured by the young drell before her, who stood as a shield between her and heart break.  
  
    Returning his dismal gaze in her direction Kolyat explained, “He asked me to take off the mask so he could be comfortable.” Emotion ran as thick in his voice as it did through her blood. “I don’t think that it will be very long.”  
  
    They needed more time. Why couldn’t they just have more time? Raking her mind for something to say Shepard settled on, “Your father helped me save a lot of lives.” Oh God, how shallow that sounded. Kolyat’s father, the love of her miserable life was dying not twelve feet away from them and that was the best she could do? Anya didn’t want to be the great and mighty Commander Shepard anymore. She wanted to scream at these so called gods that dared to take Thane Krios away from her. She wanted to curse the Citadel’s synthetic heavens for putting her in this helpless, hopeless, position.  
  
    Biting the inside of her cheek as she forced herself to keep it together, she requested, “I’d like to be here.” If he turned her away she would respect that, but not without a fight.  
  
    To her relief Kolyat inclined his head in understanding and replied, “Of course,” before moving away. Her shield was gone. Heartbreak was hers for the taking.  
  
    Her legs were rendered to rubber, threatening to let her collapse onto the floor in a puddle of desolation. Keeping her raging emotions in check was a challenge without equal. All at once she had to maintain her unshakable pretence, while forcing one wobbly step after the other until she reached Thane’s bedside.  
  
    How she wanted to reach out and touch him, to caress the scales that served as the arc of his cheek bones, to feel the silky red flesh that stretched out under his chin and neck. All Anya could think of was crawling into that twin sized hospital bed and curling up beside him, wrapping her arms around his body as his torturous breaths burdened him no longer.  
  
    She fought the tears like she had fought the collectors. For Thane and Kolyat she would be strong. The doctor’s words should have prepared her for this. He had unwittingly admonished her against hope, explaining to her that there was none to be had. But she had ignored him, disregarding his professional opinion. She was Commander Shepard. She made things happen, and she would make Thane Krios live whether or not he wanted to. It was foolish, childish. Anya set herself up for disaster and had only herself to blame.  
  
    From the beginning there was only one way this could have ended. Gazing down at the man that she had fallen so deeply, so completely and irrevocably in love with, Shepard forced herself to recall her first memory of this drell. His scales had been a little brighter back then. His death a little more distant.

* * *

  
    The arrogance of this woman. It almost annoyed Shepard how many goddamn mercenaries she had to plow through just to get to the top of this stupid tower. If she didn’t enjoy the fight so much she would have been really pissed. The fact that Nassana was about to be dealt with was the only thing that made Shepard stay her hand at the sight of the coward. She was about to get what she deserved. And Anya had front row seats.  
  
    _The taller they are_ . . . thought Shepard as she admired the view over Nassana’s shoulder. The asari had hid away in her sky scrapping fortress, teamed with armed mercenaries and killing innocents that couldn’t get out of her way fast enough. Hers was a well deserved fate. And Shepard entertained conversation as she awaited the grand finale.  
  
    “Shepard,” Nassana greeted her with a questioning look. She was starting to get used to that look. With a frown she muttered almost to herself, “But, you’re dead.”  
  
    Was she? Oh dear, then she really shouldn’t waste any more time in finding a grave to burrow into. This reoccurring conversation was truly starting to get old. “I got better.”  
  
    “And now you’re here to kill me,” the mercs beside her tensed, fingers tickling the triggers as they anticipated their orders.  
  
    Anya almost laughed. Casually she scanned over the room, searching for any entries that Thane would take advantage of. There were the side doors, likely armed. And the window, which would be more trouble than it was worth to get through. If it had been her she would have gone with the ventilation shafts. His options were limited. But he’d been doing this for a lot longer than her. She was positive that the spectacle to come wasn’t one worth missing.   
  
    The side of her mouth twitched upward as she inquired, “You’re really paranoid aren’t you?”  
  
    Waving off the Commander’s question, Nassana rebuked, “Don’t patronize me, Shepard.”  
  
    “Charming as ever.”  
      
    The asari droned on for a bit, recalling a relative that Shepard had dealt with. Her tension was palpable. This woman so undeserving of life really did not want to die. Shepard wouldn’t have helped her if she could. “You really think I’m here to kill you?”  
  
    “Do you have another reason for destroying my tower?” Well if she hadn’t Rapunzeled her way to the top of the dumb tower it wouldn’t have been destroyed in the first place. “Decimating my security,” now that was just the fun part. Shepard’s day hadn’t really started if a small army wasn’t decimated.  
  
    She tried to shrug off her amusement, “I’m just looking for someone.”  
  
    In true Dantius fashion Nassana attempted to buy Shepard’s submission. To toy with the woman now would have been cruel, a cat pawing at a mouse. Shepard wouldn’t accept her credits anyway. It was likely to be blood money. There was the slight sound of movement overhead. With a smirk Anya gave herself a pat on the back. Through the vents, she called it.   
  
    Crossing her arms in front of her chest she assured her, “All the credits in the world won’t make this problem go away, Nassana.”  
  
    The woman’s impatience grew, along with her dread. Voice dripping with venom she compared herself with Shepard, claiming to be equal, her crimes no greater than the woman standing before her. It was pathetic. They weren’t equals. Nassana killed because she could, because she had the power to get away with it. Anya killed because she had to, because it hadn’t been within her power to avoid it.   
  
    Bumping within the vents grew in volume, setting Nassana and her guards on edge. Without a strategic thought in her blue head she commanded half of her too few guards out the side entrances, minimizing the force between her and fate. And still she thought she held all the cards, had all the power. Orders barked past her lips, pompous as she tried to maintain the image of her control.  
  
    He fell from the ceiling like an acrobat. Landing with a feline grace, he sifted through Nassana’s guards as if they barely warranted notice. The drell danced. His motions like water, every step ending a life, every death bringing him closer to his target. If she had blinked she would have missed it. As soon as he had dropped from the vents it had been over. Nassana was dead.  
  
    The drell stood over his kill, palms embracing and head bowed. He was a stoic creature, standing like a statue, a regal angel of death.   
      
    Shepard had to stop herself from biting her lip. It had to be a crime to look that good in leather.  
  
    The sound of Garrus’ voice broke her out of her appreciative trance. “Impressive,” he smoothly observed, and it took quite a bit to impress Garrus. “You certainly know how to make an entrance.”  
     
    That he did. She took a step towards the green sculpture, awaiting his reply. What did his voice sound like? What kind of person was this stolid man? When the turian’s statement went unanswered she added, “I was hoping to talk to you.”  
  
    “I apologize,” his voice was gravelly, low and level, easy to listen to. It was a sedative and a toxin. Shepard liked the sound of it. “But prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken.”

* * *

  
    He had told her from the start that his days were numbered. There had been no dancing around the topic. She knew from the beginning the risks that came with loving a dying man. And still she couldn’t bring herself to regret a moment of it. Shepard’s heart lurched into her throat as she tried to see past the tears that swam before her. Her drell was a water color of greens behind the film that protected her from the atrocity of his final breaths. The sound of her heart shattering blared like a Reaper’s horn. This war had to end. She had to see it through. But after that it was the sea that awaited her.  
  
     _Guide this one to where the traveler never tires, the lover never leaves, the hungry never starve._  
  
    He was leaving his body. But soon she would be with him again. There was just one more thing she had to do.


	2. Chapter One

  “You couldn’t disappoint me, Thane. Not even now.”

 

   Gods, those eyes. They were almost as large and round as his own, so filled with misery and terror. She would never admit it, his Siha, trying to be strong for his own sake. A cough tore through him, piercing him with a pain equivalent to that of the blade that had placed him in this bed.

 

   The sound of his agony caused both his son and his love to flinch.

 

   How could he do this to them? It wasn’t a conscious decision. Thane did not want to abandon them when they needed him most. If the gods had placed the decision in his hands, he would have chosen life. He would have chosen Siha. But the tides were summoning him. The shores across a not so distant sea were beckoning.

 

   His chest compressed. Thane could not breathe. A fit of coughing stole what little oxygen his lungs could retain. It was pain without parallel. His chest was on fire and his limbs sore, feeling as though they had all been broken. Thane was helpless to his fate, weak and defenseless against what was to come. This was not the death that he would have chosen for himself, though he could not bring himself to regret the events that had preceded his current demise. His son had been returned to him. Thane had been miraculously awarded the love of an incomparable woman. It was better than he deserved.

 

   He wanted to reach out to her then, to trace her beautiful cheekbones, the line of her jaw, the plump of her lips. But Thane’s limbs were heavy. His mind growing slower. The sound of crashing waves and churning oceans grew louder. No longer was it a distant din. It was rapidly growing nearer to him than the woman he loved and the son only just restored his life. There was one more thing to be done. Just one last prayer to be made before the seas washed him elsewhere.

 

   “Guide this one, Kalahira, and she will be a companion to you as she was to me.”

 

   Goddess, protect her in his stead. Thane didn’t have sufficient strength even to draw his next breath.

 

* * *

 

   A gasp ripped him out of the darkness. His lungs roared a complaint against such deliberate abuse. It was not the same pain he remembered. The discomfort clustered in his chest felt as if it had just been the target of a charging varren. Thane’s body was heavy with drowsiness. His limbs were immobile, distant, deadweight. There was a thick fog surrounding him, cascading confusion down upon him like the heavy rains of Kahje.

 

   Voices fluttered somewhere beyond the reach of his awareness. The quick and pitchy sound of them told the assassin that they were salarian. Was he across the sea? Were these salarians dead as well?

 

   “Brain activity suggests that the subject is aware,” one of the voices was close enough for him to hear without straining his malfunctioning senses. The voice was filled with concern, surprise, and excitement, emotions coloring his tone like the hues of the hanar.

 

   Subject, a scientific term that he hadn’t expected to encounter in the afterlife. There was no way . . .

 

   Another salarian responded to his colleague’s observation, the shades of his tone a mirror of the first horned amphibian. “Give him another dose of sedatives. We have more tests to run.”

 

   No. Thane didn’t need sedatives. If the gods had indeed felt inclined to lengthen his life then he didn’t need more tests to be run. Thane needed to find Shepard. He needed to find his son. They would have mourned him. He would have made them suffer a needless pain. He needed . . . he had to . . . consciousness was fading fast. Thane was thrown into a memory as he was forced into slumber.

 

* * *

 

   Blood red, that was the shade that best described the color of her hair. The shining strands of crimson were haphazardly combed aside as she pulled on her helmet. Jade irises landed on him for a moment, inspecting him for something he did not know. Those impossibly green eyes were stolen up by the turian standing before her.

 

   “Cleaning up Cerberus’ mess again,” observed Garrus as he inspected his rifle another time. Mandibles twitching into a smirk, he continued, “Just like old times.”

 

   A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. Shepard casually leaned back, ignoring the slight tremble of the hammerhead fighting against some turbulence. “They never learn, do they?”

 

  A Cerberus base needed to be contained. An experiment had gone awry and it appeared only Commander Shepard had the skills necessary to properly manage the situation. Admittedly, Thane was curious to see the woman in action once again. He had heard stories, everyone had. The illustrious Commander Shepard was a force to be reckoned with. He had seen what she was capable of first hand.

 

 The Dantius towers had been a race to the top. Upon Shepard’s arrival he had been pressed to beat the hurricane of a woman to the target. But now he would be at her side, an extension of her will. He would learn more about how she fought, how she thought, who she was.

 

Thane was surprised at his carefully suppressed ardor for this opportunity. It betrayed a desire -a need- to know this woman.  

  
  


   Double checking all of her equipment, she addressed her team like the true authority her title suggested, “Lord knows what Cerberus is doing down there. But if I know Cerberus, it’s nothing that I’d approve of. Save anyone that can be saved, kill anything that can’t.”

 

   The hammerhead touched down and they disembarked. As soon as his feet touched the ground, Thane was filled with unease. When buildings are filled with people it can be felt, the souls within giving the life to the structure. But the facility they approached was as dead as Nassana Dantius.

 

   “Shepard,” his voice reached out to her, nothing pleasant awaited them ahead.

 

   The woman at point nodded in agreement. “I feel it,” she muttered.

 

   A male voice filled their communicators as they closed in on the front doors. “ _Thank God you came! My name is Dr. Gavin Archer. The situation is urgent – we’re facing a catastrophic VI breakout. I’ll explain the details later, but you must retract the transmission dish. The controls aren’t far from your position. You have to hurry!_ ”

 

   He left them with that, allowing silence to accompany them as they entered the Cerberus facility. As soon as the doors shut behind them, they were greeted by death. Bodies were strewn about. Blood splattered across walls and congealing in pools the shade of Shepard’s hair. It was a massacre.

 

   “I knew I wouldn’t like this,” grumbled Shepard. Displeasure swam in the greens of her eyes. Anger tugged at her eyebrows.

 

   Garrus nodded his agreement, “With so many projects that end like this, it’s a wonder that anyone would invest in Cerberus.”

 

   Turning away from an open-eyed body, she commanded, “Move out,” and led them in to the mess that surely awaited them.

 

   They made their way to the control room without incident, though that meant very little when compared to the level of destruction surrounding them. Cautiously, Shepard approached the console. With deft fingers, she attempted to retract the dish as Archer had instructed. But the moment that her gloves grazed the holopad, the enormous dish looming in the horizon, turned away from them like a wronged lover. A pair of green pixelated eyes appeared on every screen and monitor in the room. A raw, tortured voice screamed incomprehensibly at them.

 

   Slightly flinching away from the voice cursing them, the Commander mumbled, “Creepy.”

 

   “ _Damn it!_ ” Archer’s voice rejoined them. “ _The VI’s overridden the controls. We have to stop him. He’s trying to upload his program off planet._ ” Panic and urgency were heavily embedded in his every word.

 

   Uploading the program off world would be bad. Creating the VI to begin with had been bad. There was so much needless death around them. And for what? He doubted that the answer would justify the death toll. Thane stepped over a young woman’s body. Her lifeless eyes were green like Shepard’s, just not the same vibrant alluring color. Kalahira, mistress of inscrutable depths, guide these souls back into your nurturing arms.

 

   The three of them swept their way into the heart of the facility. An angry green glare following them all the while. As they entered the mess hall and common area, the source of the slaughter greeted them with gunfire.

 

   Hard flooring met them as they threw themselves behind the nearest cover, before their shields were shredded to pieces. Garrus and Thane both looked to their Commander for direction. There was a smirk on Shepard’s lips as she instinctively flinched down and away from the flying bullets. She looked almost gleeful to have finally been met with action.

 

   Catching her squad-mates’ gazes, her hands signaled for Garrus to take point, a position that attracted bullets like a high powered magnet. She and Thane would flank the geth. Her from above. Him from below.

 

   With her instructions made, she saluted them farewell and with a final grin, she switched on her tactical cloak. Disappearing before their eyes, the woman was a wraith in the room. Thane knew exactly where she was, of course, not even Kasumi could hide from him.

 

   Geth fell at their feet. They cut through the enemy with haste and precision. Just as Thane shot a Geth Trooper in the optical lens, he heard the sound of a raging fire roaring behind him. Over his shoulder, he caught sight of a Destroyer approaching Garrus’ position, flames fingering over his cover, threatening to cook the turrian alive. Before he could swing his pistol in his target’s direction, two consecutive shots obliterated the geth’s head, decimating it into a pile of useless machinery.

 

   “God, I love this gun.” Shepard popped out of cover as she fondly stroked the length of her sniper rifle.

 

   Garrus also emerged from his hiding place. He threw a faux angry glare to where Anya stood on the level above them. “You almost let him roast me alive, Shepard.” It hadn’t really been that close and they all knew it. The banter was just playful exchange between old friends.

 

   With an uncaring shrug she replied, “Can’t take the heat, get out the kitchen.” That was one of her easier humanisms. Throwing herself down to where they were standing, she rolled into a crouch before uncurling and leading her two companions onward.

 

   “Come on,” she called over her shoulder. “We’ve got a dish to destroy.”

 

   The station was swarming with fleets of geth. They had to slice through team after team, a task made easier by Shepard’s tactical division of her squad. As she and Thane thinned out the forces focusing on Garrus, the turian had less bullets flying at him and more targets distracted between attacking him and defending themselves.

 

   As Thane threw himself off of the collapsing dish and onto the catwalk some distance below, he found himself enjoying the thrill of their fight. Shepard’s love of the battle and enthusiasm for action was contagious. He was powerful, an assassin, more lives had been taken by his hands than some could imagine. But he had never really considered the excitement of it, the glorious thrill of slashing through an army and standing triumphant.

 

   Shepard pushed herself onto her feet and took stock of the damage. Satisfied that everything was in place and that she’d made it mostly unscathed, her lips pulled upward. “That was fun.”

 

   “I’d rather not do it again,” Garrus also pulled himself up onto his feet. Cracking the bones in his neck he added, “If that’s alright with you, of course.”

 

   Before she could respond, a man ran down the catwalk in their direction. His distressed blue eyes greeted them as he called, “Over here!”

 

   She glanced over her shoulder, her body turning to face the direction her gaze had pointed. Tone no longer playful, she investigated, “What the hell is going on around here?”

 

   The scientist’s features were troubled in the wake of everything he had survived. “Man’s reach exceeding his grasp. Come on, I’ll explain.”

 

   They followed the man back to the main facility, where Thane and Garrus were ordered by their Commander to collect the dead and prep their bodies for recovery. She then entered the control room beside Archer for a debriefing.

 

* * *

 

   Thane dragged yet another corpse across the landing zone to be returned to families and given proper services. He looked down the long lines of dead. They were only becoming acquainted with the destruction to be found here. There were still two other facilities that needed to be flushed out before the real problem, the VI, could be dealt with.

 

   Turning to his turian squad-mate, who was scanning each individual for identification, Thane asked, “Is this level of carelessness common place for Cerberus?”

 

   With a glance thrown between the body at his feet and the data on his omni-tool, Garrus nodded in answer to his question. “Back before Shepard died, we dealt with too many cases like this one. Cerberus is always trying to control something, be it Thorian Creepers, Thresher Maws, Rachni, or geth.” He leered down the rows of bodies just as Thane had. With a disgusted shake of his head he muttered, “You’d think that they would learn by now.”

 

   Thane couldn’t help but agree. His gaze wandered up toward the doors that Shepard and Archer had disappeared behind. Thane could understand the woman’s unease with allying with this faction. Jack’s hostility towards them was also comprehensible. The Commander had many qualities to be admired. She was able to set aside her own trepidations, her own distrust, to save the countless lives that depended on this alliance. Thane respected her.

 

   The doors opened and the Commander descended the stairs to where her team awaited her. Glancing from drell to turian, she forced a smirk onto her lips, a half hearted attempt to lighten the dark task they had yet to complete. “Let’s move, gentlemen, I should give you both a chance to get your kill counts as high as mine.”

 

   Garrus scoffed, “I don’t know, Shepard. If your kill count is anything like mine you’d be the one called Archangel.”

 

   When her smile landed on him, his heart leaped from his grasp, throwing itself into his throat. Holding his wrist behind his back, he risked joining their banter. “An assassin does not kill and tell.”

 

   That earned him a frivolous bark of laughter. With a wave, she gestured for them to follow her back to the hammerhead and onto the next two stations.

 

   The devastation that welcomed them at Vulcan and Prometheus stations were identical to what they had left behind at Hermes. There were dead bodies and possessed AI’s. The VI haunted them as they progressed, watching in outrage as they scored through its army and unlocked the remaining controls. The repartee between Shepard and Garrus went on without end. They were close. That much was obvious to any onlooker.  But Thane found himself longing to be more than an onlooker. He desired a similar relationship with the Commander, an intimate friendship to be cherished.  Truly the woman must sire similar effects with everyone she encountered.

 

   The Hammerhead easily descended, making a swift touch down on the landing pad. As they exited the Cerberus vehicle, a scattered array of corpses was their reception.

 

   “Looks like you’re in, Commander.” Archer joined them again. “I’m getting some troubling readings though. The VI is trying to upload its program directly from your location. Get to the server room and shut down the core before it can –“  the rest stuttered into static interference.

 

   “Server room,” she said to the rest of them. Lifting an eyebrow she tempted, “What could possibly go wrong?”

 

   As they followed the destruction, the VI began to toy with them. Locking unlocked doors, opening previously shut entrances. It was herding them, leading them through the building in the direction that it wanted them to go, forcing them to fight through an onslaught of geth as they went.  

  

Throughout the battle, Thane found it amusing to note that Shepard seemed to love that rocket launcher nearly as much as she loved her sniper rifle. They entered the elevator, kicking aside pieces of geth, and punched in the command to send them down. As the lift started its descent, it began to quake. Pixelated green eyes appeared behind them. The VI howled in indignation. The floor beneath them was no longer trustworthy as the elevator jumped up a level before falling down three. They reached the bottom in a heap, collapsing under the weight of momentum.

 

   As the doors swept open they were faced with geth. Shepard unleashed a few rounds into the foremost enemy, only for it to fall face first, unresponsive to their arrival. The geth were connected to hubs. They were inactive, sleeping and unaware of the visitors evacuating the faulty elevator.

 

   With no threat left to stop them, they moved on. Through the door and down the hallway, they paused before a second door. Shepard pressed the key, expecting it to swoop open as the green screen suggested it should. Instead the green screen came to life. It inched across the door, climbed on to the wall and crawled its way onto the other door a few feet away.

 

   Shepard looked to her companions and shrugged, “change of plans,” was her murmur.

 

   The door now available to them was another control room. A body was bent in an unnatural position before the pane. Anya stepped toward it, watching as Thane and Garrus took up defensive positions beside her.

 

   Looking down at the screen she ordered, “Get ready. I wouldn’t be surprised if this button summoned a Reaper.” She glanced at Garrus. He nodded. She looked to Thane. He tilted his head. Looking back down at the console, she pressed the button and took a step back. The lights in the entire building dimmed. A bolt of brilliant green light shot through the console, blasting skyward like a beacon. Jolts of cybernetic electricity zapped through Shepard. The VI’s face manifested before them, screaming as Shepard stumbled over.

 

   “Shepard,” Garrus gave her a questioning look. He was upset, but he didn’t look as worried as Thane felt.

 

   She wobbled past him, her eyes wide and omni-tool glowing with green pixels. They followed slowly behind her. Too slowly. As soon as she stepped foot back into the hallway, the doors shut behind her, refusing to be reopened. They were trapped and Shepard was alone.

 

   “Shepard!” They both yelled after her, only to be answered by her silence. After a moment, gunfire sounded from the hall on the other side of the door, geth clicked and chirped and the VI howled in its typical irking fashion.

 

   Garrus slammed his fists against the door as Thane tried with all his strength to pry the two slabs apart. All attempts to hack the key and force it open were met by failure. Until this business with the VI was dealt with, they were stuck where they stood. Shepard would have to fend for herself for the rest of the mission.

 

   A frustrated growl tore through Garrus. He was not happy to have been separated from the Commander. And Thane understood why. They were supposed to protect her, to have her back. She depended on them to look out for her, where she couldn’t look out for herself. They could not perform that necessary task while hidden away in some room that severed connections between them and the Commander.

 

   “Well this is just beautiful.” The turrian slid down the door and glared at his feet. There was nothing more they could do. Rubbing the plates between his eyes he sighed, “She is not going to be happy about this.”

 

   Thane wasn’t happy about this. He had sworn to help Shepard. Since they might find themselves stowed away for some time, he decided to make himself comfortable. Sitting cross-legged on the floor some odd feet away from Garrus, he inquired, “Do you think that she will be fine without us?”

 

   He nodded without hesitation, “Yeah, she’ll be alright.” After a thoughtful second he scoffed, “You’ve seen her fight. She hardly needs us there in the first place.” The reassurance was for him as much as it was for Thane. Shepard was Garrus’ friend. He would be very upset with himself if she got hurt because he couldn’t get a door open.

 

   Though Thane and Shepard did not have the history that she shared with Garrus, he felt empathetic to the turian’s plight. He changed the subject so they could detour their thoughts from their shortcomings as squad-mates. “What do you think is going on here?”

 

   “I wish I knew.” Garrus shrugged. “You’ve heard Archer’s logs. He was hoping that his brother would be able to communicate with the geth.” Shaking his head he stroked the long speared plates at the top of his skull. “There is no such thing as a small mistake for Cerberus, it would seem.”

 

   “They brought back Shepard.” Thane wasn’t trying to defend the human elitists, it just deserved to be said that they did at least one right out of all of their wrongs.

 

   “Yeah,” the turian agreed. “And the staff of the entire space station ended up just like all of these poor souls,” his three fingers gestured to the body at the other side of the room.

 

   Thane looked at the body his companion had pointed to. Glancing back at him he asked, “If you have so many reservations then why did you join forces with them?”

 

   Shaking his head Garrus corrected, “I joined forces with Shepard. She’s the only one that can stand up against the Collectors and take them down. It just so happens that Cerberus is the only organization willing to face the truth and deal with the problem.”

 

   That was a lot of responsibility for one woman. She had died, only to be revived to a world that had dismissed her warnings as errant and ignored everything she had fought for. Now she was burdened with the task of saving everyone from a race that no one believed existed. She had built her career out of performing the impossible. Thane only felt fortunate to participate before he finally met his end.

 

   With nothing more to say, silence nestled in alongside them. The minutes seemed to drag on, turning into hours. Thane sat patiently, only partly paying attention to his meditations. The sound of the doors sliding apart made his eyes rip open. He and Garrus both leaped onto their feet.

 

   Shepard stood at the entrance. A breath escaped her parted lips at the sight of them, relief settling into her emerald eyes. Shaking her head she grumbled, “There you two are. It’s just like you to make me do all of the heavy lifting.” Though she joked, there was not a trace of humor in her voice or on her features. Her eyebrows were pinched with antipathy. Her lips were thinned with distaste. Neither hostile emotion was toward her squad, but rather the things she had faced alone.

 

   Thane and Garrus both fled from their entrapment, stepping out into the hallway to where Shepard stood they noticed that she wasn’t alone.

 

   Looking at the young human male, wrapped with a blanket around his body, Garrus asked, “What the hell happened?”

 

   “Gentlemen, this is David Archer.” She gave the boy a sidelong glance, her anger growing until it licked at their own emotions. “We’ll be transporting him to Grissom Academy.”

 

   “Archer,” Thane peered over at the human. He shared only a slight resemblance to the doctor. Judging by his lack of color and the bruises surfacing along his flesh, it was easy to discern that David had not been handled with care. Returning his attention to Shepard, he observed, “Gavin Archer’s brother. Will the doctor be accompanying us?”

 

   “No,” was her curt reply. The mention of Gavin Archer made the Commander’s features turn in disgust. He was the source of her outrage. Whatever the doctor had done, it filled Anya with such fury, she struggled to contain it. “We’ll let Cerberus keep that scumbag.” Without another word, she turned to leave, expecting all three males to follow obediently behind.

 

   On their way back to the Normandy, she explained what had happened. She told him and Garrus about how David had shown her Archer’s growing obsession with controlling the geth. David had led her through lines of possessed AI until she found herself fighting David the VI. Defeating him before he could send his virus off world, she discovered the true atrocity of what had been done to him. David had been a victim of Cerberus ambitions. He had suffered unspeakably at the hands of his own brother.

 

   When they arrived aboard the Normandy, David had been immediately taken to Dr. Chakwas. She had shooed all from the medical bay. David’s autism demanded privacy and care. Even though she had been dismissed from the Med Bay, Shepard loomed outside the window, peering in as she chewed on a fingernail.

 

   Thane stepped up beside her. The rest of the crew had already dispersed; even Garrus had returned to calibrating the guns when he could steal no more words from the Commander. For the most part they were alone, and he could not fight his desire to talk to her. She had not been herself ever since they left the Atlas station. She was upset and infuriated, and Thane wanted to make those unreceptive feelings disappear. He wanted the swift return of his vivacious and sardonic commander.

 

   To his surprise, Shepard spoke before he had the chance to. “I have a brother,” her admission caught him off guard. He did not know how to reply, so he didn’t, allowing her to continue uninterrupted. “A younger brother named Michael. Every instinct I possess demands that I protect him. Growing up, I was the one who fought off his bullies. I was the one who bandaged his scrapes. That’s what family does, they protect each other.’

 

   He clenched his teeth at the mention of family duties. Sometimes one fails one’s family, and the price for that mistake is too much to bear.

 

   Shaking her head, Shepard glared at the window, not seeing David or Dr. Chakwas. Her hands balled to fists at her side, her anger radiating from her. “What Archer did to his brother is unthinkable. David is special needs. He needs to be protected more than the average person. That was Gavin’s job, to protect his brother. Instead he does this,” she violently gestured to the window, biting her lip against the emotions rioting inside her.

 

   Thane followed her pointed fingers through the window, staring at the screen dividing David and Chakwas from their prying eyes. Returning his gaze to the woman beside him, he searched for the words to calm the storm inside her. “You cannot change what has been done to David. This crime cannot be reversed. But you have saved him.” She looked up at Thane, her green eyes seeking out his words desperately. “You are giving him a chance to live again. Archer has to live with his crimes, but you get to live with the knowledge that you saved David from his brother.”

 

   She didn’t reply right away. Instead her gaze returned to the Med Bay. Shepard’s brow was no longer furrowed with fury. Her lips were no longer thinned by her upset. She was contemplating his words and allowing her anger to subside with the knowledge that David was going to be alright.

 

  Returning her attention to Thane, a smirk at her lips hinted at breaking through the surface of her expression. “Thank you, Thane.”

 

   He bowed his head, “No thanks are necessary.” Her gratitude, necessary or not, filled his chest with warmth. He longed for that subtle smirk to break out into a grin. Her smile was a beautiful sight, one he wished to see before returning to Life Support.

 

   Emerald eyes stared at him for a second, reading his features, searching his face. After a moment she said, “I have to go write up a report about the mission.” Biting her lip, she timidly added, “I might stop by Life Support later, to talk, if that’s alright with you?”

 

   Timid was not a word that Thane would have associated with Shepard. She certainly wasn’t shy on the battlefield. And among the rest of the crew she was nothing short of a leader and friend. He couldn’t help the smirk that twitched at the corners of his mouth at the sight of her timorous. “I would like that.”

 

   “Good,” relief washed over her for a second time that day. A smile brightened her face as she took a step back. “I’ll, uh, see you later then.” She backed into Rupert who reminded her which way was up. Cheeks burning to a red that matched her hair, she fled for the elevators without looking back.

  
   He had been gifted with the sight of her smile, one that he had summoned onto her lips. Thane watched as she disappeared behind a wall before making his way back to his room. He would be restless until she visited him; hers was much welcomed company.


	3. Chapter Two

“Gah, I’m an idiot.” Shepard pressed her forehead against her knees and let loose an exaggerated sigh.

 

   Hidden behind the curtain of the Commander’s drawn knees, Kasumi sniggered. As she painted a coat of vibrant turquoise nail polish onto Anya’s toes she lulled, “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad, Shep.”

 

   Oh, it was that bad. It was worse. “He probably thinks I’m an idiot. ‘That’s a start.’ That’s a start? What kind of line is that?”

 

   “A charming one,” the smile on Kasumi’s lips was loud enough. The thief thought she was being ridiculous.

 

   Peeling her face from her knees she peered over her legs down at her hooded friend. “I don’t think you understand, Kasumi. He’s not even interested. To let me down easy he said, ‘That’s intriguing’.” Shepard buried her face in her hands. Romancing Kaidan hadn’t been anywhere as stressful. Kaidan was easy, simple and boring. Thane was mysterious, observant, thoughtful. Thane was . . . alien. Shepard was drawn to him, her fascination insatiable. He was strong and broody, dangerous and harmless all at the same time. He was sexy, and not the least bit interested in his human commander.

 

   Throwing herself back onto the couch she tossed an arm over her face and groaned, “What am I going to do?”

 

   “Well first, you are going to stop fidgeting so that I don’t mess up the polish.” When Shepard did as instructed the thief continued, “Now, you are going to not do a single thing differently than you have been. You’ve already put it out there that you’re interested. The rest will work itself out.”

 

   “But what if he doesn’t want me?”

 

   Kasumi’s smile grew, “Trust me, Shep. He wants you.”

 

   Arm falling away from her face, the Commander leaned up to catch a better look at Kasumi’s expression under the shadow of her hood. The sneak knew something that she didn’t. Of course she did, with the shameful way that she used that tactical cloak she was a better spy than she was a thief.

 

   Arching a prying eyebrow she wondered, “How do you know?”

 

   With a playful shrug Kasumi chose that very moment to be coy. “I know everything.”

 

   “How to strike a nerve included.” Shepard shook her head as she glared up at the ceiling of Kasumi’s quarters. It was mildly amusing how much space this tiny woman demanded, stealing as much room for herself as possible. Ever since recruiting the tiresome little hellion, Shepard had formed a special kind of friendship with her. Kasumi was quirky. She was tactful, playful, thoughtful, and full of crap. Her having neighboring quarters with Thane also helped strengthen their growing friendship. While she took the time to visit with Kasumi she might as well also check in with the drell. He was in the neighborhood after all.

 

   But ever since she had blurted out that lame pick up line, Shepard hadn’t the nerve to show her face inside Life Support again. She was beginning to miss her talks with Thane, and wondered if he missed them as well.

 

   “You know,” Kasumi started, the tiresome brat was going to give her a piece of advice, and Shepard was going to listen with hungry ears because she was desperate for some direction on how to handle the mess she had made for herself. “You can hide out with me for only so long before you bump into him again. Might as well get it over with and spare yourself all the nauseating dramatics.”

 

   “Are you kicking me out, Kasumi?”

 

   Another shrug made her shoulders jump. “The polish is dry. As far as I’m concerned, we’re done here.”

 

   Nodding in full acknowledgement of the betrayal, Shepard retorted, “You’re a real pal.” Throwing her legs over the side of the sofa and peering down at her brightly colored toes, she stalled for just a moment longer.

 

   Kasumi didn’t try to hide her amusement. Fine, Shepard didn’t need the traitor anyway. Slipping her boots on, Anya departed the thief’s quarters with a discontented huff. As she moseyed out into the hall, she tossed her eyes over to the shut doors of Life Support, and then fled for the mess hall instead. Shepard would brave Thane’s gaze later, after a decent meal.

 

   As she rounded the corner, Shepard stopped short, frozen in place by her surprise. Thane, just the man she didn’t want to see. Her only saving grace was that he was conversing with Garrus and Tali. If she had to face him at least it wouldn’t be alone. Thane didn’t seem the type to humiliate his Commander right smack dab where everyone could bear witness.

 

   Despite her concern over speaking to the drell, Shepard was pleased to see him out of Life Support and interacting with the crew. They were more than just a team. They were a family. Humans and Aliens alike would be bleeding together, suffering, laughing, crying, and growing together. She also liked the fact that he was speaking with the turian and quarian. They were her closest friends on board, their opinions the most significant. It was important to Shepard that they liked him, even if he didn’t see her that way.

 

   “Shepard,” Garrus called her over. Mandibles twitching in mirth he said, “I was just telling Thane about how we first recruited Tali.”

 

   Shaking her head, Tali’s helmet lit up as she said, “Fist was such an ass.”

 

   With a nod the turian agreed. Eyes turning onto the Commander, he stated, “I still don’t know why you let him live.”

 

   “Fist is an idiot,” she shrugged. “But that doesn’t mean that he deserved to die.”

 

   “Oh he definitely deserved to die.” Tali crossed her arms. Of course she was a little jaded on the topic, seeing as Fist had tried to set up the quarian’s assassination. “And you’ve killed people for less.”

 

   “Wrex was so upset when he found out that you let him live.”

 

   “That krogan is nothing short of a diva.” She couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory of the massive dinosaur pouting because Shepard had ruined his reputation as a reptilian that got the job done. In the end it was something of little import. They’d had bigger concerns than supercilious thugs who couldn’t properly set up a hit.

 

   To Tali, Shepard stated, “We ran into Fist on Omega.”

 

   “That’s right,” Garrus jokingly recalled, “I think he might have preferred death.”

 

   “Next time we’re there I’ll be more than happy to help him with that,” Tali was only mostly kidding. She sure knew how to hold a grudge. Maybe that explained her glorious hips. She needed some way to support all that resentment.

 

   Shepard glanced at Thane, only to rip her gaze away and throw it down at her feet. Those black orbs were peering at her, watching her closely. What was he thinking? Did he deem her as big of an idiot as she thought she was?

 

   “Why did you let Fist live?” Thane’s voice was like a syringe filled with morphine. He injected her, forcing Anya to disregard her embarrassment and meet his gaze.

 

   Biting her lip, she shrugged in response, still too timid to use her words. How many YMIR Mecs had she obliterated? How many mercenaries had she gunned down just in the past week? And she couldn’t keep eye contact with one drell. God, she was pathetic. Clearing her throat, Anya tried to explain without her voice squeaking, “If I killed everyone I met with questionable judgment, this galaxy would be a very empty place.”

 

   He considered her words for a moment. Satisfied with her statement, he held his wrist behind his rigid back and wondered, “May I have a moment of your time, Shepard?”

 

   With an uncertain glance at Garrus and Tali, she silently pleaded for either of them to pull an excuse out of their asses as to why Shepard most certainly could not give Thane a moment of her time. When both proved unreliable in saving her hide, she clenched her teeth. There was no good reason for her to say no. It was time for her to man the fuck up and face Thane.

 

   Forcing a smirk onto her lips, she nodded, “Of course.”

 

   Thane inclined his head at Tali and Garrus before turning in the direction of Life Support. Ah crap. They were going to have this conversation in private. This was going to suck so hard. Rolling her shoulders, Anya made a face at her friends before following Thane through the mess hall. They were going to pay for the crime that they had unknowingly committed. No one let Shepard find her way under the bus without repercussions. No one.

 

   When the doors slid shut behind them, Shepard cringed at what would surely come out of Thane’s mouth. ‘I don’t see you that way, Commander.’ ‘Let’s just be friends.’ Friends, she couldn’t have enough friends, right? The more the merrier.

 

   He stood before the window, peering down at the drive core, silent as he pondered whatever it was that happened on the inside of that head of his. When a second passed without a word from him Shepard asked, “You wanted to speak with me?”

 

   “Yes,” he glanced over his shoulder before turning away again. Why wouldn’t he look at her? “Now that you are here though, it seems more difficult to talk about.”

 

   Yeah, telling the Commanding Officer of the ship you are serving on that you aren’t interested in a romantic relationship is usually a tough thing to do. Unless Shepard was jumping the gun and this had nothing to do with her. Her heart fell as she scolded herself. There she was pining over what she said and how he might have taken it, when there was likely some bigger issues that he was dealing with, like dying. She didn’t know enough about drell anatomy or physiology to tell if he looked sick or not.

 

   “I’ve got time,” her eyebrows furrowed with concern, “take it at your own pace.”

 

   “Thank you. I fear I have already done that for too long.” He finally turned to face her. His expression was neutral, not giving away anything. So much mystery clouded around the man, the more Shepard found out the faster she realized how little she really knew about him.

Pacing to where he stored his weapons, Thane said, “I had a family once. I still have a son. His name is Kolyat. I haven’t seen him for a very long time.”

 

   Wow, a family. Her shoulders slumped. That explained his lack of interest in her.  Shepard fought to keep her face expressionless, showing her disappointment might have led to misinterpretation. Shaking away her sidetracking thoughts, Shepard inquired, “Did something happen to them?”

 

   He gave her a sidelong glance, a somber gleam to his serious eyes. “I abandoned them,” Thane admitted, “Though not all at once, nothing dramatic. No sneaking out in the middle of the night. No final argument or slammed door.” His eyes found hers again, silently requesting that she understand. “I just did my job. I hunted and killed across the galaxy. ‘Away on business’ my wife would tell people.” Thane looked back at the guns as he murmured, “I was always away on business.”

 

 Alright, the time had come for Anya to get over herself and view Thane as crew. It was all that they could be. She had to come to terms with that. Monitoring his expression, Shepard asked, “How long has it been since you talked?”

 

   “Ten years. He showed me some of his school work and asked if we could ‘dance crazy’. We did that when he was younger. “

 

   “Dance crazy” sounded an awful lot like what people referred to Shepard’s dancing as. Amusement pinched the corners of her lips. She returned to the purpose of their conversation. “You’ve never mentioned this before. Why now?” Anya wouldn’t admit that finding out that Thane was married and with children had irked her a bit. She didn’t have a problem with kids. It was just that being attracted to married men wasn’t a typical practice for her.

   “When my wife departed from her body I . . . attended to that issue. I left Kolyat in the care of his aunts and uncles. I have not seen or talked to him since.”

 

   She lifted an eyebrow, “That’s not the choice I expected.” But then again what did she really know about Thane? Not enough, that was for sure.

 

   “My body is blessed with the skills to take life. The hanar honed them in me. I have few others.” Lips twitching in what could have been mistaken for a frown he continued, “I didn’t want that life for Kolyat. I hoped he would find his own way. If he hated me, so be it. He would not have shared the path of sin.” Turning his body so that he was completely facing the Commander he said, “I used my contacts to trace Kolyat. He has become disconnected.”

 

   A dead wife and troubled son. That explained more than she expected it to. If Thane’s family was in danger then there was nothing that Shepard wouldn’t do to help him. There was nothing more important to her. “What’s wrong with him? Is he hurt?”

 

   Shaking his head, he explained, “Something happened that should not have. He knows where I’ve been and what I’ve done.” Thane frowned as he considered what his son was up to. “I don’t know his reasons but he’s gone to the Citadel. He’s taken a job as a hit man. I’d like your help to stop him. This is not a path he should walk.”

 

   It appeared that the apple truly didn’t fall far from the tree, no matter what planet the tree was from. Shepard could understand Thane’s qualms with Kolyat taking up such a dangerous role. If Shepard had learned that Michael joined Cerberus because he wanted to be closer to her, she would have done anything in her power to get him as far away from the organization as possible.

 

   Thane was her shipmate, her squad-mate, her friend -- though that made Shepard cringe. She would do anything within her power to help him. There was just one problem. “Thane, I don’t have your contacts. And I don’t have your tracking skills,” okay, two problems. “Why do you need my help for this?”

 

   “I don’t _need_ your help. I _want_ it. The last time I saw my son,” he was thrown into a memory. A terrible recollection of his deceased wife’s funeral passed between them.

 

   Grimacing apologetically, she looked away from him. Real, smooth Commander. She may as well have forced him to remember the day his wife had died. “I didn’t mean to make you relive that.”

 

   With a shrug he simply stated, “Perfect memory, it is sometimes a burden.”

 

   Little else needed to be discussed. Kolyat needed his father. And Thane needed – wanted – Shepard’s help. She would do whatever needed to be done to set the drell’s mind at peace. “I’ll get us to the Citadel as soon as possible.”

 

* * *

 

 

   “Lola,” James retrieved her from her memories. His Latin features were unusually hard, stern in their humorless surroundings, as he pointed with his thumb over his shoulder  towards the lightless room behind him. “Come check out what Scars found. He said you’d want to see it.”

 

   With a nod, she gave the sparking security station a final glance before turning to follow Vega to where Garrus awaited them. Kaidan had been uncertain that they’d find anything in Sanctuary; and aside from fleeing Cerberus Shuttles, a few dead Reaper forces, and some stragglers, he had been mostly right. But something was terribly wrong with the barrenness they had encountered.

   

   Sanctuary had been built to house hundreds, thousands, of refugees. Countless people had swarmed to the facility for safety. Where were the families? Where were the refugees?

 

   A synthetic female voice spoke over the intercom, assuring them that they had made it to Sanctuary, that they were finally safe. Shepard grudgingly thought of the breaths of relief that were released at the sound of her voice, how many people had slumped in gratitude of finding safety. If Cerberus was involved then Shepard doubted that the refugees found what they were looking for.

 

   As she entered the sparsely illuminated hall where the turian stood watch, she investigated, “What have you found?”

 

   “It’s Miranda,” he muttered as he stepped aside for Anya to see the consul.

 

   She knew that she’d run into the ex-Cerberus agent at one point or another. Oriana’s voice had warned them to steer clear of the facility. If Oriana was here then surely Miranda was not far behind. Anya was eager to unearth what was happening inside of Sanctuary. Miranda had been worrying after her sister since they first met together weeks ago. Why was Oriana at Sanctuary? How had Miranda let her sister, and what was happening to her, slip through her fingers? Shepard cared for little else the way she cared for her family. She understood, and encouraged, Miranda’s protective nature.

 

   Jaw tightening, Shepard breathed heavily to keep her temper from flaring. She’d had it up to here with Cerberus. When would enough be enough for these goddamn people? As if she hadn’t had reason enough to hate them before they revived her. As soon as the Collectors had been dealt with, they had done anything and everything to get on Shepard’s bad side, and stay there. For the unforgivable crime of killing Thane, everyone who wore a Cerberus emblem was as good as dead.

 

   “Okay,” Anya sighed as she cracked the bones in her neck. All it took was the end of the world for everyone to decide to fuck each other over. And who did they all turn to to save the day? Yeah, Shepard. It was always Shepard. The galaxy couldn’t hold itself together for a freaking second without her constant supervision. The moment she turned her gaze, Collectors abducted human colonists and Reapers wanted to obliterate everything. She was the most underpaid babysitter in the entirety of the universe.

 

   “So we’ve got Reapers, Cerberus, and Miranda’s crazy father. Any ideas how this all fits?”

 

   Garrus and Vega looked at one another before shaking their heads and shrugging in unison. Discomfort nested itself deep in Shepard’s gut, burrowing talons into the flesh of her insides. She wasn’t going to like what they were about to find. As was the case whenever she dealt with Cerberus. They were going to stumble upon another unspeakable atrocity, one whose memory would never be forgotten, and one which Shepard would be expected to clean up.

 

   Sucking in a deep breath, Anya comforted herself with the fact that it was almost over. The Crucible was just about complete. The Galaxy was unified against the Reapers.  Her job was nearly done. All that was left to deal with, was The Illusive Man and his bigoted terrorist group. Practically everything else was in place. Soon she would step into the yawning abyss of fate and meet her certain and anticipated end. She would cross the sea and finally be in Thane’s arms again.

  
   Shepard would find relief in death, whether or not she succeeded in saving the galaxy.


	4. Chapter Three

Blue bolted heavenward, reaching for the sky with angry demanding fingers. It was a beacon of death, a portal to doom. How many human lives had already been swallowed up by that brilliant blue beam? Too many. Shepard set her jaw as she glared up at their final obstacle. They were so close to the end. It was finally almost over.

All that stood in their way now was a Reaper, its minions, and certain death. The soldiers at her sides fidgeted with nerves. Countless of their comrades had fallen in this battle, countless more would join them. Their anxiety was palpable, thick in Shepard’s mouth as it reminded her what it was she should have been feeling. And still Anya was at peace. She didn’t feel anxious, nervous, fear. She didn’t feel anything. Her vision was clear. Her mind was calm.

All the hard work she had put into uniting the galaxy had fallen into place. If they lost, they were all dead. If they won, they were mostly dead. Win or lose, Shepard welcomed death with eager arms. In her passing she would be returned to Thane’s loving embrace. That was all she wanted. It was the only thing that had made surviving without him endurable, the knowledge that she too was going to die.

Anderson threw a hasty glance in Anya’s direction. It was now or never. “We gotta move!” he shouted over the roar of ongoing battle.

Unholstering her weapon she acknowledged his command with a curt nod. “Come on!” This was it. Her heart jumped, kick starting as it pumped adrenalin through her veins. I’m coming, Thane. The throng of warriors stampeded forward, bellowing out battle cries as they challenged death to give them its best shot. They were the bravest men and women in existence. Shepard hoped not to see them so soon in the afterlife.

 

* * *

 

He was swimming in blackness. His senses had abandoned him. Thane was blind, deaf, and dumb. He floated through dark space, limbs immobile, eyelids refusing to open. Was he still alive? Was this the afterlife? Where was the sea? Where were the shores?

Something inside him insisted that this was not the land of the dead. Thane had not been welcomed across the sea. Instead life had abducted him and held him hostage in this middle state, alive but not living. It was nearly like battle-sleep.

It was a battle-sleep that he could not awaken from. Shepard had stirred him from his last slumber. She had breathed life into his limbs, emotion into his heart. Where was his Siha now? Did she think of him, long for him, as he thought and longed after her?

With little else to occupy the vast void of timeless space, Thane retreated to his memories. He needed to see her again, to remember the sparkle of her emerald eyes, the glow to her slightly freckled tan skin, and the warmth of her body beside his.

* * *

 

They had touched down on Zeta Ban, a scenic planet in the Xe Cha system. Shepard had intercepted a curious transmission implying illegal weapons manufacturing. And EDI provided that the communications were identical to Blood Pack comm. protocols. Shepard had a nose for trouble, apparently able to detect its location from light-years away. It never ceased to amaze Thane how easily she stumbled upon a clandestine facility that no one else would have been troubled to investigate.

The fact that it was also a Blood Pack facility translated to the promise of action. And though there was no shortage of battle to consume her time, the Commander never turned down an opportunity to test her skills against the nuisances of the galaxy.

As they readied their weapons and started their investigation EDI’s voice spoke into their communicators. “I’m detecting a large power source inside the base. It is probable that destroying it would disrupt the entire facility.”

“Should be fun,” Shepard murmured over her shoulder to where Thane and Samara both followed her to the crudely put together facility.

The promise of battle, destruction, explosions, and thwarted criminal activities. Yes that did sound like Shepard’s idea of fun. Thane tossed his gaze over to Samara, reading her expression as she watched the Commander’s back. There was tenderness to the way she looked after their human leader. The asari viewed the Commander as more than a crewmate. Shepard was Samara’s friend and confidante. They were family. And Thane knew that there was nothing more important to Shepard than family.

The vorcha greeted them in their typical articulate manner, hissing and growling as they discharged their weapons. Each of them had dealt with their style of combat at one time or another, as a squad and during their own past vocations. The Blood Pack was widely known for their brutality and violence, but not for their strategic prowess. Mostly because there wasn’t one to speak of.

Shepard, Samara, and himself cut through the enemy base without a misstep or miss placed shot. Their fearless human leader’s shoulders slumped as they evaded the heat of the explosion that reached for their backs. Not enough enemies had been killed, not enough danger had been thrown their direction.

She glanced down at her omni-tool, glaring at the stop watch she had started when they had stepped off of the shuttle. With a sigh she tore off her helmet and informed them, “Well, we cleaned that up in record time.”

“We were swift indeed, Shepard,” Samara agreed, though she was significantly less disappointed by their lack of proper challenge.

Swollen lips pouting, her green eyes pointed skyward in admiration of the clear heavens. Her crimson hair clung to her forehead and neck, darkened by the moisture of her sweat. She was a glorious sight, beautiful and awe-inspiring. He wasn’t typically attracted to other species. After his wife had departed from her body he hadn’t felt anything for anyone, least of all attraction. Females of the human race were lovely creatures, delicate, smooth, and exotic. But he had never felt the inclination to wrap one up in his arms. Until now, that was.

Shepard was gorgeous, her foreign features enticing his curiosity. But it was more than her outer beauty that compelled dormant emotions into stirring from his battle-sleep. Her inner beauty had no rival. He had witnessed her selflessness on countless occasions.

She had and would sacrifice for her family, her squad, and complete strangers. What she had done for him and Kolyat . . . Thane would never be able to express to her the depth of his gratitude for uniting him with his son, and presenting him with the opportunity to rectify the wrongs he had committed. And even if he ever found the words that eloquently conveyed his appreciation she wouldn’t accept his thanks. She felt that it was her obligation to help those who she cared for, and also those whom she didn’t know.

What, in this vast and mysterious galaxy, could have been more beautiful than that? No answer came to mind.

Gem like eyes fell onto him. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she stared into his eyes. “This planet is beautiful, isn’t it?”

Was it? He hadn’t noticed. Detaching his gaze from hers he took a moment to scan their surroundings. The colors of the vegetation were vibrant. The atmosphere was comfortable, warm, but not wielding the humidity that made his Keprals Syndrome unbearable. Above them the celestial body of this system sat lazily in the sky, content enough to let the hours drag themselves onward. She was correct in her observation. The planet was an oasis. It’s beauty pale in comparison to hers.

With an inclination of his head he agreed. “It is a rare beauty,” though he wasn’t entirely speaking of their surroundings.

Samara also concurred. “I have seen many worlds. Few can be compared to this.”

Her smile grew. “Since we made such quick work of this little investigation it seems we have time to kill. I don’t know about the both of you,” Shepard’s stare went from one to the other. “But I’m in no hurry to get back onto the Normandy. How about we take a break and enjoy the scenery.”

Though he would have disagreed he didn’t dare deny her this. His hurry to return to the Normandy was to steal some private time with the Commander, and that could wait until she had the break that she wanted to steal for herself before pressing forward. He smiled back at her, “Whatever you’d like, Shepard.”

Since the Justicar didn’t voice any discouragement over lingering on planet Shepard took that as her approval. “I think I saw the perfect spot not too far back.” Turning on her heel she led the two through the discarded destruction and over a hill of trees and boulders.

As they reached the crest of the hill they were faced by the beauty of a waterfall pouring into a small body of rippling water. The sound of falling liquid reached out to them, flirtatiously summoning them to relax, to lose themselves in the peace only this planet could offer them. She looked back at him, a grin on her lips. There was a playful sparkle in her eyes. Thane’s breath was lost in his admiration.

When their feet stopped at the shoreline of the calming pool water Shepard shook her omni-tool into action and scanned the surface of the water. Her grin grew at the sight of the readings on her glowing orange device. Standing again she began to unbuckle her armor.

“Anyone up for a swim?” When her companions wordlessly stared at her with surprise a laugh spilled past her lips. Off went her gloves and gauntlets, then her shoulder pads, breastplate, knee guards, and boots. From one moment to the next she had gone from fully armored to barely clothed. She wore a tank top, already darkened by her sweat, and her undergarments.

Thane had to remind himself to close his mouth. She wasn’t one of the goddess Arashu’s warrior angels. Shepard was a goddess herself. Her muscles were toned, strong, accustomed to action and adapted for survival. Her creamy skin was scarred, evidence of the battles she had seen, the calls that had been too close for comfort. Her bare legs were long, wielding a grace that he knew did not translate onto the dance floor. She was perfect. He would never again be able to breathe in her presence.

Suddenly shy under the weight of his appreciative gaze, Shepard’s face was shaded pink. Biting her lip she wondered, “Join me?”

A smile settled on Samara’s lips as her eyes passed between the Commander and Thane. Politely declining she admitted, “I would prefer to take this time to meditate.” She pointed to the shade of a tree a few paces away from the pool’s edge.

When Thane removed his attention from the fleeing Samara and replaced it on Shepard she was no longer where he had last seen her. At the shoreline of the undulating water she dipped a toe into the surface of the pool. Testing the water her shoulders didn’t relax until she was sure the temperature was acceptable for the rest of her body.

He didn’t move from his position, yards from the water. Thane wanted to watch this Siha, wanted to bask in her glory. His thoughts turned to Irikah then, remembering the laugh of his wife, the feel of his first love. Though Thane’s feelings for Kolyat’s mother had not faded over the course of time, the memory of her was no longer the agony it had once been. Irikah would have liked this powerful woman. If the gods had planned differently he liked to think that they would have been friends. She wouldn’t have approved of the battle-sleep he had banished himself too. But she would have approved of the woman that had awakened him from it.

The sound of splashing water pulled him from his thoughts. Shepard yelped as she resurfaced. Wiping back her blood red hair her gaze locked with his. That grin that he enjoyed without end formed on her lips and she called him over.

“Come on, Thane,” her voice was teasing, her playful mood a contagion. “The water’s great.”

He couldn’t help the smirk that twisted the corner of his lips. But he made no move to join her, wanting to make her beg for him, needing for her to want him. Straightening his shoulders he quietly replied, “Someone should keep watch.” Thane knew that there was no more danger. Their enemies had been dealt with. No one was going to sneak up on them now, even if he did join her in the water.

“Keep watch,” she gave him a doubtful look. Raising an eyebrow Shepard began to wade through the water, her scowl was taunting. “Keep watch for your manhood, you mean? Can’t drell swim? Or is the famous assassin, Thane Krios, scared of a little water?”

His smile grew in response.

Splashing water in his direction she assured him, “Fear not, Krios, I’ll keep you safe.”

“And who is going to keep me safe from you, Siha?” He hadn’t meant to give voice to the thought. Shepard was a danger in every sense. Thane had never felt so vulnerable. Every moment in her presence made him want to live a thousand more. He had resigned himself to death, had awaited the release of it. But Shepard had lured the desire to live to the forefront of his aspirations. Fear was not an emotion that he was intimate with. But when it came to Shepard, it was an emotion that rippled like the pool she was splashing about in. He was not scared of dying. Thane was scared of being without her.

She shrugged, “You’re just going to have to trust me.”

He trusted her with his life. But could he trust her with his heart? His leather jacket now weighed tons, stifling, he undid and folded it neatly before allowing the clothing to fall at his feet. Next were his boots. His now bare toes felt the moist earth beneath him, the cool sensation sending an excited chill to course through him.

His unblinking gaze was on Shepard as he undid his pants. It was unexpectedly intimate. Suddenly they were more than crewmates with undisguised yet unacknowledged feelings for one another. As he allowed his pants to fall around his ankles they were as good as lovers. He felt as though he wanted her to know the deepest crevasses of his being, and in turn wanted to learn hers.

Stepping out of his pants, Thane approached the water. Shepard watched him, her green eyes large with an emotion he must have been mistaking for wanton. Did she desire him the way he did her? Did he also make her stomach tense with anticipation and excitement?

The water was cool against the surface of his skin. It was a pleasant change to the heat of the picturesque planet. As soon as the water reached his knees Thane submerged himself into the refreshing pool before swimming out to where Shepard waded, observant and entranced by his every movement.

As he neared her he was filled with the desire to scoop her up in his arms and bury his face in her hair, to kiss her neck, to bite those plump lips so naturally red. But Thane restrained himself, stopping more than arms distance away from her. Any closer and he would lose his resolve. The connection they shared was uncharted water. The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable.

Shepard bit her lip as she watched him float before her. Stealing into her mouth the flesh he so desperately wanted in his. Releasing her bottom lip from the grip of her teeth she opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again as she thought better of it.

Suddenly whatever it was she couldn’t say was the only thing that Thane wanted to hear. He wanted nothing left unspoken between them. He risked paddling just a bit nearer, tempting his own steadfastness, and entreated, “What is it?”

Her mouth twisted nervously as she considered her words. Those evergreen eyes were inspecting his features, searching his face as though committing it to memory. “You explained to me about your wife,” gradually disquiet began to bud inside him. He was not looking for a replacement for Irikah, for there would never be one. But he found that his heart could love again, only if it was his human commander that he pursued. He should have told her that before, so that there would be no misunderstandings about the origins of his affections.

Clearing her throat the Commander admitted, “I think that it’s only fair that I be honest with you too.” The sound of moving water filled the silence that followed. Thane waited patiently for her to finish, for her to quell his racing thoughts. Anya turned her gaze upward, as if seeking divine intervention, though Thane doubted any would be forthcoming. “I wasn’t married or anything. I don’t have a family of my own. But before I got spaced . . . before I died . . . I was with someone; someone that I loved very much. We had been through a lot together. We were planning to have a future together.”

The disquiet in his chest grew. Before she had died? That was only two years ago. He prayed to every god whose name he knew, pleading for Shepard not to say that she was still entangled in emotions that would keep her from him.

Sadness filled her eyes, as though she had lost someone very dear to her. He knew the sentiment, and wished it was not one that she had ever had to deal with. “But after, when Cerberus rebuilt me, it had already been two years. He thought I was dead, and probably wishes I’d stayed that way.” She bit her lip again. “We ran into each other on Horizon. He had been stationed there because the Illusive Man had leaked rumors that I was working with Cerberus. When he found out that the rumors were true  . . . “ Shepard shook her head at the memory. “He walked away from me, turned his back on me and what we had once shared.”

With a shrug that was meant have been nonchalant, but he saw as forced, she divulged, “He broke my heart.” To his relief the smile she offered him came more naturally to her lips than the shrug had come to her shoulders. “I’ve moved on, and can safely say that I no longer have any romantic feelings for him. I just thought that since you told me about your wife that you deserved to know the truth about me as well.”

He sighed a breath of relief, glad that his fears had not been confirmed. Shepard’s heart remained unclaimed, which meant that it was his for the taking, if she allowed him to have it. Offering her a sympathetic smirk he assured her, “He was a fool to have let you go.” It was a mistake that Thane had no intention of making.

Her chest and cheeks reddened with his words.

Though everything inside of him was adamant that he swim even closer, that he pull her into his chest and push his lips against hers with a ferocity that matched her battle lust, he instead said, “Thank you for telling me. It is never easy to lose a loved one, either to death or their own stupidity.”

Those plush lips of hers trembled as she fought from smiling. In his experience, Commander Shepard was physically unable to let a serious conversation go on for too long. Her jovial persona demanded a playful and lighthearted climate, a rarity that her career failed to provide but she sought out for herself.

“Yeah, well,” she submerged underwater, disappearing beneath the dark liquid. When she reappeared it was with a tremendous roar and a splash to match. She threw herself on Thane’s shoulders and shoved him under the water, good-naturedly threatening to drown him.

He resurfaced with a laugh, the smile on his lips the most genuine it had been in several years. Quickly turning towards the sound of splattering water, it was in time to catch her retreating back to shore.

As she paddled she shouted, “I’ll race you!”

Her head start was not by much. After a few strokes she was within reaching distance. Thane grabbed Anya by the ankle and yanked her back. The sound of her squeal in laughter made his smile grow. This would be a memory that he would cherish for eternity. For now, he was going to win the race.

As he neared the shore, beating this Siha at the contest she had started, she yelled, “That’s not fair, you cheated!”

He turned to look at her, not even trying to suppress his mirth. “Not fair?” he furrowed his brows in mock scolding. “You stole a head start.”

Shepard pulled herself out of the water. Her clothes clung to her glistening skin for dear life, distracting him with all of her womanly curves. Wringing the water from her hair she wondered, “Do drell not have chivalry? Where I come from we take ‘ladies first’ quite seriously.”

Shaking his head, and shooing his inappropriate thoughts, he apologized, “The next time we race I will be sure to let you win.”

With a light hearted laugh she approved, “You do that, Mister Krios, and next time we race I’ll be sure to make winning worth your while.” Her smile immediately vanished with the realization of what she said and what it implied. Embarrassment made her complexion turn dark red. “I mean – I didn’t—What I meant to say was –“ slapping her forehead Shepard gave up and marched past him to where she had discarded her armor.

As she refastened every buckle she called over to Samara, “Come on, Sammy. I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough for one day.”

The asari roused from her mediations with a knowing smirk but made no comment as she returned to her feet and strode to where Shepard was finishing getting dressed.

Thane never wanted to kiss anyone as badly as he wanted to kiss her then. It wouldn’t have been apposite. Their relationship, or whether it could be called such, was still so very uncertain. But Thane knew that the moment that he got this wondrous Siha to himself he was going to find out just how soft those lips were. He could no longer restrain himself. His life was too short to deny himself this, to deny himself her.

 

 


	5. Chapter Four

The vista was remarkable. Even amidst all the ongoing destruction, the losing battle, the galaxy remained beautiful. Discarded vessels drifted along. Reapers and warships danced a skirmish that one side was sure to lose. And that side would be all organic life if Shepard failed to act. She had not survived thus far, fought so hard, and lost so much only to fail now.

Harbinger sat like a mighty king, peering down his nose at the meager force that held no threat. They did not scare him. To his incomprehensible Reaper mind they warranted no merit. But there Shepard stood, on the Catalyst, farther than any organic had ever gone before. He should have feared her. She warranted more than his merit. Shepard was going to be his end.

“The paths are open, but you have to choose.” The glowing child’s voice echoed in her mind. He was the Catalyst. But was that his true form? Or had he stolen the sympathetic image from her mind? Shepard no longer felt the tug of indoctrination impeaching upon the fringes of her mind. But that didn’t necessarily mean that she was free from it.

Decisions, decisions. So many choices had led her to this point. So many lives had rested on those choices. Her body ached. Bones were broken, throughout her body the skin that held her together was tearing apart. And Anya was next to positive that one of her lungs had been punctured. She was tired, physically, emotionally, psychologically. She just wanted it to be over. Now all that was left to do was choose which death was most fitting.

Control. Shepard had been witness to enough of Cerberus’ calamities to know that there was no success in control. The Reapers were beyond her comprehension. And she couldn’t control something that she didn’t understand. No. It was a risk that she wasn’t willing to take.

And Anya didn’t trust this ghostly figure. The child had haunted her every sleeping moment, yet now it offered her peace? It would grant understanding for both organics and synthetics. But only if she were willing to just toss herself into a laser beam and trust that everything would turn out okay.

 _Pshh_. Yeah, because this phantom that controlled the Reapers, the destroyers of organic life, was just _so_ trustworthy. Shepard didn’t think so. That left her with just one decision. It was the only logical decision. It was the decision that Anderson would have wanted her to make.

With a groan Shepard forced herself forward, dragging her broken body along the never ending path. There wasn’t a chance that she could just tell ghost boy her decision and he would go along and kill himself, was there? No? She hadn’t thought he would.

Anguish filled her eyes with water. Her vision swimming in a pain that surpassed any and every pain she had ever felt combined. The bones in her ankle, her entire leg, it had to be broken. Warm blood spewed between her fingers, flowing like running water, and left a behind a trail of crimson. Holding her breath she pressed forward; the trek eternal. Each inhale was impossible, the exhales excruciating. Every atom in her genetic makeup was howling in agony.

And in spite of all that, Shepard was calm. She knew what had to be done, why it had to be done. She was at peace. Death had been her desire for weeks now. As she recruited forces across every corner of the galaxy, just as she had recruited squad-mates in the past, it had been in anticipation of her death. Each race had jerked her around, even her own. They all had made her bend over backwards and sacrifice herself. It had all been in preparation for her own passing.

If they won this, life would go on. They had needed to her fight the war, to lead their forces. In war Shepard was a weapon. She was a resource, her skills and charisma an asset to all diplomats across the galactic board. But in peace? Surely her shift babysitting the Milky Way would be over by then.  They wouldn’t need her. Shepard could die and find peace of her own. She could find Thane across a sea that now whispered in her ears.

Peace. She sucked in a painful breath. _I’m so close. We will be together again soon, my love._

Her thoughts wandered to her family, to the brother she hadn’t said goodbye to, the parents she hadn’t told how much she loved. She thought of Kolyat, wishing that she’d had more time to get to know him. Was he like his father? Or did Irikah hold greater influence in her son’s character? The Commander wished that she had gotten to know before she had to die.

Gaze drifting upward, Shepard was momentarily enveloped by the galaxy. She prayed that her crew was safe. How terrible it would be to see them in the afterlife. She would already be greeting too many old friends in death. Her friends, the ones that had survived, would be safe. Her family, who she hoped had received her messages, would be fine. She had helped everyone who she could help. She had righted many wrongs. Nothing had been left undone. Nothing was keeping her alive.

Determination straightened her stride. It wasn’t much farther now. She probably still had just enough blood for her to last the few yards that stood between her and her target. Her jaw was set, her goal within shooting distance. It was time to save the worlds, again.

 

* * *

 

“I can’t thank you enough, Shepard.” Miranda stepped out of the shuttle and back onto the Normandy. The always graceful woman seemed to be gliding lighter than usual. Her shoulders weren’t tense, her brows weren’t pinched. She still wasn’t the life of the party, but she had a lighter air about her that hadn’t been there before.

The cargo hold was empty for the time being. But as the woman’s blue eyes swept towards the elevator her no-nonsense demeanor was returning. Shepard may have broken down her walls to find her softer side, but the rest of the Normandy had no right to see it.

An indebted smirk hinted on her lips as she returned her gaze to the Commander. “Oriana will be safe now. And it’s because of you.”

“It’s because of _us_ ,” Shepard waved off Miranda’s gratitude. Oriana had been in danger. Sure Shepard hadn’t known the circumstances before nose-diving into the gunfire, but that knowledge wouldn’t have changed anything. Miranda wanted to keep her sister safe.  There was nothing more important than family.

Unsure how to handle her softer feelings Operative Lawson looked a little uncomfortable having to keep expressing her unnecessary gratitude. “Yes well,” she started for the elevator, “thank you again, Commander.” Miranda didn’t look back as she cut through the cargo hold.

“Where’s my thanks, Lawson?” Garrus shouted after the Cerberus agent. Knowing how sensitive the objective of the mission had been, the turian had been their mostly silent companion. Now that the mission was complete he was back to his typical derisive disposition.

When Miranda’s only acknowledgement of him was a smirk before the elevator doors closed in front of her, he turned to Shepard and shook his head. “And they say that I have a stick in my ass.” He was teasing, of course. Garrus enjoyed mocking his Cerberus crewmates. It was how he had warmed up to them.

“It’s ‘up’ your ass,” she corrected with a chuckle. “What else do they say, Garrus?” Shepard wondered as she began to loosen the fastens of her armor while they strode toward the elevator.

With a shrug he replied, “Only that you can’t handle a sniper rifle nearly as well as I can.”

At that she couldn’t help but laugh. “Is that so?” When he nodded she petitioned, “We’ll just have to hold a competition one of these days, now aren’t we?”

Garrus flicked the screen that summoned the lift, but since Miranda had taken it without them its arrival would be delayed. As they stood in waiting Garrus shifted from one foot to the other. There was something that he needed to say to her. But the topic was either personal or embarrassing, so he literally danced around the issue that needed to be vocalized.

Lifting an eyebrow the Commander gave him a quizzical look. “Would you just spit it out, Vakarian?” Sure he knew his way around a sniper rifle, but if conversation were a weapon he would have shot his foot off a long time ago.

“I – This thing that you have going on with Thane . . . “ his discomfort level had been around a six before speaking, now that the words had been forced out of his mouth he was hovering near a hundred. Shepard turned her entire body to face her friend.

Her features were humorless, hard as she waited for him to finish. Her stern expression multiplied his discomfort. “Don’t get me wrong,” he waved his talons defensively between them, “I’m happy that you’ve found someone. Even if he isn’t the same species. What’s that human saying? Different strokes for different folks?” If Shepard had been an onlooker of this cringe worthy exchange she would have slapped herself on the forehead. But, since she was a participant, it was an entirely different story.

She had to admire Garrus’ determination. Even as he dug himself deeper and deeper into a hole that he couldn’t possibly get himself out of, he persisted.  “I just . . . Look, Shepard. We’ve been through a lot together. You’re my friend, and a damn good one at that. And I just want what’s best for you.” Stroking his mandibles he searched carefully for his next words. “I can tell that what you and Thane have, it’s important to you. And I know that you know that he’s dying, so I won’t reiterate that with you. I just want you to be happy. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy. It’s just . . . with Thane, you don’t know how long that happiness is going to last.”

It would have been wrong of her to snap at him, even though his observation had made her angry enough to snap his neck. He was her friend. He had every right to be concerned. But Garrus didn’t understand. He couldn’t possibly comprehend what she and Thane shared.

Sucking in a leveling breath, the least she could do was subdue her old friend’s apprehension and reassure him that she could handle herself. “Thank you for your concern, Garrus, but you can shove it up your ass right alongside that stick.” A smile overpowered her agitation. _Different strokes for different folks_ , she was going to have to remember that one.

“Thane may be dying, but you forget that I’ve already died once. Hell, even you’ve taken a rocket to the face, Garrus. We live dangerous lives. We may not survive this ‘suicide mission’, the next bullet I take might be my last, or I can die in my sleep of old age.” The elevator arrived and the doors opened.

“Life is uncertain,” she continued as they stepped onboard the lift. “But I’m not going to let that stop me from finding happiness where I can. And Thane makes me more than happy. I lo – care about him a lot. And he cares about me too.”

“He’s a good man,” Garrus agreed. “I was just –“

“Being a good friend,” Anya finished for him. “I know. And I appreciate it. Here’s another human saying for you, Gare-Bear, it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” But even Shepard knew that it was a million times easier to say that while the man dearest to her was still living.

“Turians have a similar saying. I’m happy for you both, really I am.” He gave her a side long glance as the elevator ascended, more relaxed now that the most awkward part of the conversation had passed. In attempt to reestablish some normalcy Garrus shoved her shoulder. “As long as you’re happy that’s all that really matters to me, Shepard.”

Before she could shove him back to demonstrate her gratitude for his friendship Joker’s voice sounded from the intercom. “ _Uh, Commander, Jack and Miranda are in the middle of a . . . disagreement. Can you head it off before they tear out a bulkhead?_ ”

She and Garrus shared a look before they both shook their heads in unison. To Joker Shepard said, “I’ll deal with it.”

“ _Take pictures._ ”

To the turian she commented, “I swear I’m going to start dealing with in-crew fighting the way my mom used to deal with sibling rivalry.”

“And how was that?”

“She made us both get into one of my dad’s tee shirts.” A smile crept onto her lips as the memory resurfaced. The shirt was enormous, even with her and Michael taking up residence within. Often times it would make it easier for her to pinch her brother without her mother’s notice. “We’d have to wear it and be a team for an hour. It was the worst.”

Garrus chuckled as he informed her, “I can’t remember ever fighting with my sister.”

“I’m sure Solana has better memory than you do,” she rebuked as the elevator doors whisked open. Shepard immediately erased the smirk from her lips, reclaiming her ‘Commander face’ before dealing with her crew. The clatter of flying furniture was the first sound that greeted them.

“Here we go,” muttered Garrus, unable to hide the amusement in his voice.

Ignoring him Shepard marched into the mess hall, where the crew was gathered in a speculative circle. Miranda and Jack stood spotlight, stalking around as they each threw slanders and chairs at one another. Shepard rolled her eyes as she shoved her way through the bodies encircling the unraveling drama.

“Touch me and I will smear the wall with you, Bitch.” Another chair flew across the room.

Grunt cackled in pleasure, smashing his fist into his hand as he anticipated the women tearing each other apart.

“That’s enough,” Shepard stepped into the fray. “Stand down, both of you.”

Both women relaxed only slightly at the Commander’s intervention, no longer tensed for the attack but now open to reason. Jack spoke first, her perpetual snarl on display. “The cheerleader won’t admit that what Cerberus did to me was wrong.”

Miranda raised her nose, glaring down at the wild woman as if she were a child amidst temper tantrum. “It wasn’t Cerberus, not really.” Lip pulling up into a snarl that could rival Jack’s she growled, “But clearly you were a mistake.”

“Screw you,” Jack charged the short distance between them. “You have no idea what they put me through,” she said as she pointed an accusing finger in Miranda’s face. “Maybe it’s time I showed you.”

Grunt cheered for the demonstration.

Shepard pinned him with a glare that shut the krogan right up. As she stepped completely between the two disgruntled women she reinforced, “Our mission is too important to let personal feelings get in the way.”

“Fuck your feelings. I just want her dead.”

Not so much as a grin from Grunt. Good, Anya was in no mood to deal with this shit. They were a team, a family. They didn’t have to like each other but they were going to serve together. It would be a task easier done if they set aside their feelings and grew a pair; or quad as Wrex would have said. “You both know what we’re up against.” She had singled them out but really it applied to the whole crew. “Save your anger for the Collectors.”

Straightening her back Miranda was the first to relent. “I can set aside my differences . . . until the mission is over.”

Jack grinned, the expression as dark as it was menacing. “Sure, I’ll do my part.” Her grin grew. “I’d hate to see her die before I got a chance to fillet her myself.” Stomping away, the crowd of spectators parted before Subject Zero could throw them around with her biotics.

Miranda gave Shepard a nod before she too left the scene. She retreated back to her room where reports needed to be made and work needed to be done. Just like that the issue had been resolved. No get-along-t-shirt had been needed after all.

“That’s it?” Grunt complained as he made his way back to the cargo hold. “Human’s are soft. Where’s the blood?”

“Can’t get a single decent catfight around this goddamned ship,” Zaeed was quick to agree.

As the onlookers thinned out Shepard noticed that a green scaled drell hadn’t been present during the unsatisfactory catfight. She assumed that there hadn’t been enough mud for Zaeed’s liking, just as there hadn’t been enough blood for Grunt’s. Glancing towards Life Support Anya considered stopping by for a visit. It was a compulsion she almost always entertained. Whenever she was on crew deck she was drawn to Thane as if by a magnetic force.

But her drell would have to wait. During the relocation of Miranda’s sister the Commander had taken bullet. It wasn’t anything terribly serious. Medi-gel had stopped the bleeding but Dr. Chakwas would still need to look at it and stitch it up.

“Say, Commander,” Chakwas greeted her as she stepped through the doors. “You sure know how to clear up a spat with little to no casualties.”

Fighting the smile from her lips Shepard paced over to her usual place and settled down on the crinkly white paper that draped over the examination table. With an indifferent shrug she responded, “The night is young, Doc.” She finished undoing the buckles and latches that kept her armor firmly hugged around her body. When only the under armor remained Shepard peeled that off as well, leaving herself with only her sports bra as protection from the cool Med-Bay air.

The wound was on her side. It was barely a scrape, less than an inch deep. The medi-gel had taken care of the pain, but it wouldn’t protect her from Chakwas’ heavy hands. The woman walked over as she slipped on latex gloves.

Standing before the Commander she muttered, “Let’s have a look, shall we?” Gently placing her fingers on either side of the wound she pulled it apart to gauge its depth. When Shepard flinched away from the stabbing pain the doctor let out a sigh, “Well, you’ve certainly taken worse. I’m going to have to sterilize a knife over a hot fire and cauterize the wound.”

Shepard grimaced at the notion. “Very funny, Doc, but I’m pretty sure that the wonders of modern medicine have disestablished that level of barbarism.”

“I do like having options.” Opening a package of antiseptic wipes Chakwas began to clean the abrasion so that she could bandage it up. “I would think that you’d welcome the procedure. It would leave quite the unsightly scar.”

“I think I have enough of those already.” Shepard stared down at her body. Her torso and limbs were covered with a disarray of healed gashes and scars, though unsightly wasn’t a term that she’d use to describe them. They were a part of her, a story of who she was, what she’d done, and where she’d been. Shepard was a seasoned warrior, and she had the battle marks to prove it.

As Chakwas secured the bandage onto her side, the woman’s eyes briefly lifted to meet Shepard’s gaze. “Your facial scars are all but healed.” Her smile was light, encouraging and motherly. “I see you’ve been keeping a positive attitude.”

“Trying to at least,” Shepard rebuked. She was trying. The galaxy just didn’t make it easy for her. It was always something with these people. Shaking her head she shunned the thoughts from her mind. Their denial and evasion was a natural reaction. She couldn’t hold it against them. Well, she could. It just wouldn’t accomplish anything.

“A feat that a good man is making a bit easier.”

It wasn’t a question. Karin Chakwas was stating fact. The Collectors could do their damage but Shepard would persevere because a certain drell made fighting uphill a bit easier. She struggled to keep the grin from growing on her lips.

Earlier, when she had been talking to Garrus, Anya had almost let the L-word slip. She had nearly admitted to emotions she wasn’t entirely sure she felt yet. Yes, what she and Thane shared was strong. Their attraction for one another went beyond the physical and the emotional.

They were a pair, carved up and shaped by fate and life. Etched to coincide, to complete the puzzle, they were one because the events of their lives had made them one.

Allowing the smallest of smirks to twist the corners of her mouth she agreed. “He is pretty extraordinary.”

“And I’m sure he’d say the same of you.”

“If he knows what’s good for him.”

Chakwas sniggered at that. After the calm application of a little more tape she stepped back to examine her handy work. “All finished, Commander.” Throwing away the gloves she returned to her desk to continue the task of filling out paperwork, an eternal cycle with no end in sight. For as long as Shepard got injured, Chakwas would be pushing papers.

As Anya restored some of her decency and collected her armor the doctor said, “And Commander, do try to be more careful.”

“I make no promises, Doc.” Shepard left the Med-Bay with a smile on her lips. As she made her way to the elevator her gaze was once again drawn to Life Support. Her entire body was rigid with longing, yearning to be in Thane’s presence again. But first she had to shower. Her sweat covered skin had long since dried, and the lingering smell was nothing short of offensive.

Thane would not only understand he’d be grateful that she was considerate enough to not make him suffer her stench.

The elevator doors parted with a sigh. Detaching her gaze from the direction her legs desired to stride, Anya stopped short when she saw that the elevator was occupied. “Thane,” her body livened, tingling with the excitement that his proximity aroused.

His gaze was pointed downward, inspecting the various bottles held tightly in his grasp. At the sound of the Commander speaking his name Thane was abducted from his thoughts. “Siha,” his large eyes widened with surprise. Shoulders and entire body tensing, he swiftly hid the possessions behind his back; keeping its contents well away from her curious gaze.

Brows furrowing for a moment Shepard stepped into the elevator and pressed the button that would take them to her cabin. The doors were sealed before Thane had a chance to escape. The tension in the elevator was devastating. He avoided her gaze at all cost. Anxiety budded in her gut. Thane had never acted this way in her presence before. He had always been welcoming, approachable, and at the very least civil. But now he stood stiffly beside her as if he wished he were anywhere else. It was as if Shepard repulsed him.

A grimace surfaced on her face. Of course she repulsed him. She smelled terrible. Shepard was covered in body odor and mercenary fluid. She reeked and she was forcing him to sit through it. God, she was killing him slowly. Shepard’s cheeks and neck reddened with the heat of her embarrassment. Oh, what a romantic gesture. _Smell me in all of my unkempt glory_ , she thought mockingly. She had half the mind to stop the elevator at the CIC and shove him out for his own safety. But that was dramatic, and the consul was right there. If he wanted out he could see to it himself.

Clearing his throat Thane rolled his stiff shoulders, coaxing them to appear relaxed. “The mission went without incident?” His rough yet smooth voice filled the elevator, heating Shepard’s blood at the sound of it. She was already on fire with embarrassment. And she was sure that the last thing he wanted was for her to throw her stinky self onto him in a fit of passion.

Unable to properly speak past the onslaught of her humiliation all she could do was nod. “Yep.”

“And Miranda’s sister?” He searched for words to fill the awkward silence, forcing conversation just as Shepard forced him to suffer her stink.

“Fine.”

“I am pleased to hear it.” Silence followed. He caught the hint. She didn’t want to talk. She wanted to crawl into a hole and let her embarrassment kill her.

With a sigh, she glanced at him again. It was time to man up. They had something, and she had thought that it would’ve taken a lot more than bad BO to come between them. It actually stung to learn otherwise. She was a fucking soldier, from time to time she was going to smell like ass. If he had a problem with that then he could find an air lock to throw himself out of. The nerve of him, making her feel self-conscious about something she had little control over.

Her glance turned into a glare. “Is something bothering you, Krios?” The words were filled with venom even to her ears. She had worked herself up into a fit of anger. Now anything and everything he said would be held against him. He was about to become victim of her irrational and self-inflicted rage.

His gaze ripped towards her, filled with surprise at the hostility of her tone. Features shifting with uncertainty he shook his head, “Not at all, Siha.”

Unable to neither suppress nor contain her anger Shepard turned to face him. She couldn’t just outright accuse him of thinking that she smelled like a latrine. So she searched for any other reason to voice her disquiet. The moment she moved to face him Thane had turned his body as well. The contents in his hands were still hidden behind his back and well away from Shepard’s eyes. Bingo, just the thing she needed.

“What are you hiding from me, Drell?” If her stench was so offensive he could just say it. He didn’t need to hide things from her.

Discomfort unearthed along his features. He hesitated for a second but as his eyes found the anger, and pain, stowed away in Shepard’s gaze he relented. With a discomforted shift of his feet he admitted, “Mordin ambushed me earlier. He was intent on imparting me with his medical expertise.” If flustered was an emotion that a man like Thane Krios could feel then he was certainly on fire with it now. And had blushing been possible to his people he would have also been aflame just as Shepard had been moments before.

Removing his hands from his back and revealing the bottles he had hidden away, he allowed her to investigate the labels. Thane struggled to maintain Anya’s gaze, abashed by what he was holding. As Shepard picked up one of the small bottles he informed her, “Mordin said that they would reduce discomfort . . .”

Reduce discomfort? Then it hit her. A rather unflattering bark of laughter filled the elevator. Her amusement confused him. Of course it did. Not that his discomfort wasn’t entertaining, because it was. But Shepard had worked herself into a tizzy because she had assumed that Thane found her appalling. Her laughter was more at herself than because Mordin had cornered him into talking about sex. She was relieved. It would have sucked to have lost what she shared with Thane because she hadn’t made it to a shower.

And the scientist salarian had cornered her as well, though not bearing gifts. Their romance was no secret, though the fact that they hadn’t done the deed apparently was.

“I’m sorry,” she said in between laughing spells. As she wiped away a tear she confessed, “I’m not laughing at you.”

Thane raised an eyebrow, challenging her to that fact.

“Okay,” she admitted. “I’m not laughing _entirely_ at you. It’s just that I thought I was grossing you out with my stink.” Looking down at the bottle of oil in her hand she shook her head, the last of her laughter spilling past her lips. “I was getting ready to snap you in half.”

He gave her a furrowed look, shocked and bewildered by her wild and irrational conclusions. “You smell as a warrior angel should, Siha. Like battle and victory.”

She blushed again. Contemplating the bottle in her grasp she was half tempted to use it. Who was she kidding? Shepard was always tempted. Not to use the bottle, it had only recently been placed in her possession. She was always tempted to ravish Thane, to throw him down on his cot, the table in Life Support, or against the nearest wall and just tear off his leathers. It wasn’t her fault. He was just so goddamn sexy. His every movement predatory, the dark look in his black eyes smoldering, Thane was practically asking for her to pounce. It was a miracle upon miracles that she had enough self-discipline to contain herself.

The doors opened as the lift arrived at the loft. She stepped out, glancing back to find him standing uncomfortably within. It wasn’t the first time he’d been in her cabin. It was just the first time that he’d come bearing oils and lubricants, forcing sex to the forefront of their minds. Their attraction was electric. If he went in to her cabin with her now, wielding all the gifts from Mordin, they may not have been able to help themselves for much longer.

She was willing to torture herself for the fuck of it. Having Thane already present in her cabin erased her having to go all the way down to the crew deck to find him. Reaching back into the elevator, Shepard pulled him out. “Come on,” she muttered as she half dragged him into the cabin.

“Shepard, I – “ his protests died in his mouth as they entered her room. The light from the fish tank was the only illumination to fill the cabin. Talk about mood lighting.

So that he wouldn’t be so uncomfortable Shepard summoned the lights. Before he could make a break for it she stepped beside him and swept up the bottles in his hands. “Give me those,” she murmured before walking to her nightstand and shoving the contents within. With no other reminder to the inevitable event of their much anticipated union Thane seemed to relax a bit. Goodness gracious, it wasn’t like he was going to have sex with a praying mantas. He would survive the ordeal.

“Just make yourself comfortable. I’m going to take a quick shower and I’d like for you to be here when I get out.” She didn’t make a move for the bathroom until she was reassured that he would be there when returned.

A smirk hinted at his mouth. With a nod he replied, “I will be here,” and sat down on her sofa as if to prove that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Though hot and much needed, the shower was indeed quick. It was the fastest shower she had ever taken in her entire life. But if she stepped out and Thane wasn’t there she was going to march all the way down to Life Support, carry him over her shoulder, and drag him back kicking and screaming. Throwing on her clothes with the speed of someone up to no good she bolted from the bathroom, hair sopping wet and dripping a trail behind her.

When she reentered the cabin Thane was standing before the fish tank, contemplating the life forms within. Shepard couldn’t help her smile. He hadn’t run away. There was a pensive mien about him, almost somber as he inspected the tank.

Shepard paused by her desk, taking the time to appreciate the drell while he wasn’t looking. He knew she was there. She knew that he knew. Thane was probably aware of exactly how many feet she was behind him; how he would retaliate should she decide to attack him, which way was best to disable her. Shepard trusted him, knew he wouldn’t ever intentionally hurt her, but there was no dancing around the fact that he was a lethal creature. Those muscles, barely contained by his leathers, were strong, trained, weapons in their own right. The same hands that caressed her flesh were capable of untold damage. And that only served to make him that much sexier.

Anya bit her lip. He was astounding on the battle field. She could only imagine how he was in bed. Gaze darting to her nightstand Shepard begrudgingly dismissed the thought before joining Krios by the fish tank. Letting go of a sigh that was meant to cool her blood she observed, “Beautiful, aren’t they?”

His gaze was on her when he replied, “Gorgeous.” Green irises scrutinized her features with an affection that Shepard dared to call loving. His eyes went to her sopping wet hair and a smirk stole his lips. Fingers reaching up to her face, Thane tenderly felt the line of her cheekbone.

Shepard’s heart leaped into her throat. Excitement and ecstasy set her blood to boil. His skin was amazing. The scales of his flesh were rough like leather yet inexplicably smooth all the while. He was warmer than a human by several degrees, as though he were constantly suffering a fever. A shiver carved through her. The greens of her eyes dilated. Nostrils flaring, she had to fight the urge to jump him. Her body was already leaning towards him, lips parted as she was unconsciously gravitating into his arms.

Fingers feeling the shape of her jaw to her ear then to her dripping hair, Thane admitted, “You’re collection of aquatic life is almost as extensive as your collection of model ships.”

Shoulders sagging Shepard let out another sigh. Glancing over her shoulder at the compilation he was referring to she cursed him for his deliberate distraction. He had done it on purpose, seeing how Shepard had reacted to his proximity, witnessing the ferocity with which she desired him. The damn drell was a fucking prude. They were adults, fully able to share in adult activities. Like having sex. She had needs goddamnit.

“My dad got me into collecting model ships,” said Shepard as she strode to her desk and searched for the wide tooth comb with which she could tame her drying hair. As she began the process of detangling the knots from her crimson locks she recalled, “Growing up I remember him having every model ship of the Alliance Navy. They were more precious to him than Michael and I.”

Rolling her eyes at the memory of her father’s stern expression she grumbled, “God forbid one of us played with one of those ships. I’m telling you, Hell hath no fury like a Shepard.”

Thane made a noise as if he could quite easily believe that. Then, as he inspected the wall of her collection, he commented, “You don’t speak very much of your father.”

They had shared quite a bit over the short time of their infant romance. Shepard had opened up to Thane, allowing him to delve into her deepest and most protected vaults of memories and emotions. He, in turn, had encouraged her to do the same. Shepard had wanted to know about Irikah, what she’d been like as a person, what traits Thane had fallen most in love with. She had asked about his training as an assassin, his spirituality, and his faith.

If Shepard hadn’t spoken thoroughly of her father it was because of a lack of inquiry on his part. With a shrug she replied, “Dad’s a hard ass. He wasn’t really there for me or my brother growing up. It’s tough being raised in a military family. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, it’s just that my mom did most of the parenting.” After a moment of contemplatively chewing on her lip she explained, “The Alliance is my father’s family, we were just an extension of the lives under his command.”

“He loves you,” it wasn’t a question. Thane was only saying what her father hadn’t said enough growing up.

“Yeah,” Shepard flicked on her private terminal and began to sift through her messages, “He just didn’t know how to show it.” Archiving the messages that she didn’t need, Anya’s entire body tensed as she stumbled upon the subject: _The Shepard’s are multiplying_. That was Michael’s sense of humor.

Thane was beside her in an instant, offset by her sudden change in body language. “What is it, Siha?”

“Michael,” was her mumbled reply. As her eyes scanned the contents of the message a grin began to spread across her face. After a moment of Thane standing rigidly at her side, awaiting her elaboration, she explained, “His wife is having another baby. She’s in labor right now.” Connecting to Joker she set their destination. It didn’t matter what they were doing in this system. She was not about to miss this moment in her younger brother’s life.

“ _You got it, Commander_.” Joker’s voice filled the cabin. She could hear the smile on his face as he stated, _“It’ll be good to see the Shepard’s together again.”_

She couldn’t help but agree. The Shepard family spent too long too far apart. Joker was privileged to have witnessed even one reunion. It was about time that they got together again. Looking up into the oblivion of Thane’s warm eyes she admitted, “I’ve really missed my brother.”

The smile that took to his lips was understanding. Casually leaning against the wall behind her desk he inquired, “This is Michael’s second child?”

She nodded in response. “He already has a son, Mika, he was four when I last saw him.” The happy expression faded from her face as realization berated her forgetfulness. “Ah, crap.” Rubbing her forehead Shepard never wanted to kick her own ass more than she wanted to right then. “I’ve missed two birthday’s. He’s not going to be very happy with me.”

“You were dead, Siha.” Thane was nearly amused by her distress. “Surely you cannot be held accountable for those two years.”

With an airy exhale she was quick to disagree. “To a six year old,” she huffed again, “I’m going to have to make up for this big time.” Allowing a contented grin to reappear on her face she shook her head. Joy hummed along her veins, coursing through her body, allowing her to momentarily forget the severity of their mission, if only long enough for her to steal what little time with her family she could.

Her happiness was radiating because even the always brooding Thane was sporting a smile. “You and your brother must be very close.”

“We were while growing up,” with a shrug she sobered up a bit. Her smile didn’t disappear, only contracted lesser in size and warmth. “But he has a family now. And the galaxy always needs saving. We don’t get to talk as often as we should.”

Thane’s obsidian gaze inspected her features, investigated her inflection and tone. Expression turning with inquest, he wondered, “Do you envy your brother?”

After only a brief hesitation she supplied, “I’m proud of him. He found a way to live outside of the military. Michael braved our father’s wrath and went to college instead of enlisting. He made his own path. He has a career, a home, and a family who loves him.” Shepard peeled her eyes off of Thane and stared pointedly at the fish tank, chewing her lip as she thought. “He has stability.”

“Are you unhappy with your lot, Siha?”

“No.” She was quick to answer. It was tough living the way she did. But she wouldn’t lie, Shepard loved every moment of it. Though there were times . . . “I’m where I’m meant to be.” Smiling up at the handsome drell she confessed, “I just wouldn’t have minded having a family of my own.”

His expression turned serious, a feat considering that he wasn’t exactly the epitome of humor, displeased by her implications. “You make it sound so final. We may survive this yet. A family can still be yours.”

Sure, they might survive this suicide mission. But how much longer after that did Thane have? Months? Weeks? Despite her reluctance to utter the prohibited L-word, Shepard really just couldn’t envision herself settling down with anyone else.

Forcing a smile onto her lips she attempted to brighten the grim mood that was beginning to burrow beneath her flesh. “The Normandy and her crew are my family, and I couldn’t ask for a better one.”

His thinned lips twisted ever so slightly upward, not entirely convinced but willing to let it go for her sake. He didn’t need further explanation, understanding what she meant and how she felt. Thane was good for that, understanding and acceptance. He didn’t try to change her, and for that Shepard was grateful.

 

* * *

 

 

The shuttle bumped as it entered the atmosphere of the planet. It would have taken far too long for them to get past customs and security check points had the entire Normandy landed. They still had to wade through all that crap before they got to go to the hospital but at least they didn’t have to dock an entire warship.

The whole crew had wanted to accompany her. And Shepard had been tempted to allow them. But this wasn’t a field trip, not really. And it wasn’t exactly fair to her sister in-law. This was her time to shine. The presence of the Normandy crew would undoubtedly covet the spotlight. If anything Shepard should have been going alone.

But she couldn’t leave Thane behind. Anya was giddy with exhilaration in introducing him to her family. They were going to love him. And since they all already knew Garrus, Tali, and Joker it was only right that they tag along as well.

“I don’t know if the galaxy is ready for another Shepard, Shepard.” Joker teased as they were en route to the hospital. The other’s chuckled their agreement, more than happy to voice their participation in the teasing.

Shaking his head the turian’s mandibles spread with jollity. “The galaxy will be fine,” Garrus assured him. “It’s the domesticated Shepard doing all of the breeding.” His small steel blue eyes drifted to where Anya was seated, face flaps fluttering with another chuckle. “Now if the Commander ever decided to start procreating, then we’d all be doomed.”

“Lucky for us, your taste in men makes that impossible, eh, Shepard?” Joker completed.

She coughed out a false laugh. If it had been biologically possible, Shepard would have loved to have had Thane’s children. A little drell-human hybrid that was the manifestation of everything that they shared, and after Thane died, she cringed at the thought, it would have given her something to live for. But it wasn’t possible, and Shepard could just as easily be killed in the next battle they entered. Dwelling on such thoughts only served to dampen her day. And this wasn’t a day that was meant to be dampened.

Arriving at the hospital the motley crew of assorted species was directed to the maternity wing. It was surprisingly quiet considering the stories of torturous pain child labor was said to be. The group hadn’t stridden far before a voice called their leader to a stop.

“Banana?” It was a childhood pet name, one that she hated growing up but had grown fond of in adulthood.

Following the voice a grin consumed her face as joy spread through her. “Kael,” she shouted as she ran towards her little brother. Her mind didn’t even register that she now had to stand on the tips of her toes in order to wrap her arms around his neck. He would always be her little brother.

“When I sent the message I didn’t even think you’d get it,” he hugged her even tighter, “much less actually come.”

“Of course I came,” and for him to think otherwise hurt on a level she wouldn’t acknowledge until later. They separated giving her a chance to see how her brother had changed in the two years since she’d last seen him. He was a tall man, standing at 6’3. He shared their mother’s burgundy hair color. And his eyes were more the shade of pine, caught somewhere between dark green and blue. Michael was sporting a rather fatherly goatee, and the crinkles at the sides of his mouth and the corners of his eyes admitted to how much happiness his family brought him.

Unable to help herself she threw her arms around him again. Tears stinging her eyes, she fought them off as she breathed, “Oh, Kael, it’s so good to see you again.”

Rubbing her back he said into her hair, “I’ve missed you, Banana.”

Then Shepard felt the tugging on the hem of her shirt. Looking down she was faced with a tiny version of her brother. His hazel eyes occupied so much of his head, reminding Anya of Thane’s orbital gaze. Now that he had his aunt’s attention a toothy grin conquered the other half of Mika’s face. “Auntie Ana, Daddy said you were dead.”

With a laugh Shepard scooped her nephew into her arms and heaved him onto her hip. He was much heavier than she remembered him being. “And stay away from my favorite nephew?” Brushing his reddish brown hair from his face she admired the sprinkling of freckles across his nose. “Not even death could keep me away, Mika.”

“But you forgot my birthday,” he countered, “twice!”

Shepard glanced over at Thane to give him an I told you so look. He smiled in response. Returning her attention to the boy on her hip she said, “Or maybe your present is so amazing that it had to wait two years to be delivered to you.” His eyes grew at the prospect.

Michael and Anya caught the movement over Mika’s shoulder at the same time. Her blood froze in panic.

“Alright Big Guy, let’s meet Auntie Ana’s friends,” mumbled Michael as he repossessed his son from his sister’s grasp, stealing from her the only shield she had from the incoming confrontation.

“Anya,” Hannah Shepard pulled her daughter into her arms and embraced her tightly enough to cut off her oxygen supply.

She hugged her mother back just as tightly, “Mom.” No other words needed to be exchanged. That simple transaction had voiced her mother’s years of suffering. Hannah Shepard had thought her only daughter to be dead, had mourned the loss of a child. Shepard hated that she had put her mother through that kind of pain. If she could have taken it all back she would have. If she could have told her mother that she was going to be fine she would have. Instead she had only given her family suffering.

When they pulled apart it was with tears in their eyes. She knew that this reunion was going to be an emotional one. But she hadn’t anticipated the onslaught of guilt, the shame that she felt for forcing them to needlessly mourn her. Shepard was glad to have been among the living, she only wished that it had been sooner so that their pain would have been shorter lived.

Her gaze went to her father then. Michael Shepard Senior had never been one for hugging. And Anya ignored that fact as she wrung her arms around her father and squeezed, “It’s good to see you, Dad.” His features were like steel, humorless, military hardened. But his eyes gave him away. He was happy to see his little girl again. She knew that he was, even if he didn’t know how to say it.

Before her father could start berating her about her Cerberus ties Shepard gestured to the four onlookers who were standing awkwardly to the side. “Mom, Dad, Michael, you all know my friends Garrus, Tali, and Joker.” Moving to where Thane was standing Shepard intertwined her fingers though his, proudly proclaiming that he was hers no matter what they thought. “And this is Thane, a new addition to the Normandy crew.”

Hannah looked to her husband for a moment before her expression was softened by the most welcoming of smiles. “It is so good to meet you Thane,” the drell moved to offer her his hand and she swatted it away before enveloping him in a hug. Then turning to the rest of the crew she went on to give them their own motherly embrace.

Shepard Senior accepted the hand shake, if somewhat grudgingly. His stern blue eyes went back to his daughter. Displeasure thinned his already severe lips. Straightening his shoulders and holding his wrist behind his back he cut straight through the bullshit. “Your mother and I heard of your allegiance with Cerberus.” He said it as though it were a fact she were trying to hide, and a shameful one at that. No, Shepard didn’t like working for Cerberus, hated it even. But what else was she going to do? If he had any bright ideas he could go ahead and enlighten her.

He inspected the drell still loyally standing at her side, then the other crewmates she had dragged along with her. “Drell, Quarian, Turian, I’m surprised Cerberus has employed such exotic personnel.”

Unable to help herself she snorted, “There’s an Asari, Krogan, and Salarian back on the Normandy. Let’s not forget them.” Michael Shepard Senior was not only the head of his household, but he was her superior officer. She had to remind herself to behave like the soldier he expected her to be.

His jaw tightened, an irritable tick under his eye alerting her to his thin patience. Glaring down at his daughter he wondered, “Why, Anya? Why Cerberus? After everything they’ve done, and everything you’ve seen them do. How could you possibly align yourself with them?” All of his shame in her actions was voiced into the questions. He was an Alliance soldier through and through. It didn’t matter the circumstances, he would never understand her position. No wonder he and Kaidan had gotten along so well.

Tightening her hold on Thane’s hand Shepard breathed hard through her nose, trying and failing to calm her temper before she blew up at her father. He wanted to know why? She would tell him why. “Because the Alliance declared me dead, Dad. Because it was Cerberus who bothered to find me, rebuild me, and do something about the abducted colonists. The Alliance and the Council are sitting on their thumbs while people are disappearing by the thousands. What did you expect me to do? Nothing?”

“I expected you to be an Alliance Marine,” was his uncompromising reply.

Before she could open her mouth to rebuke Thane stepped in between them, halting the words on her lips. Meeting her father’s gaze the drell’s smooth, gravelly voice intervened. “Your daughter remains the soldier you remember her to be. It takes great strength to set aside one’s trepidations for the greater good. And there is no man or woman in the entire galaxy that is stronger than Shepard. She has saved countless lives and will save countless more. She has earned more than your berating. She has earned your respect and admiration.”

The two men then held a glaring contest. To Shepard’s surprise it was her father that backed down first. With a nod to Thane he assented, “And she has both.” A semblance of what could have been a smirk suggested on his mouth. “Enough of this,” he sighed, eyes floating to where Michael Junior stood with his son he did actually smile, “You’ve yet to meet the newest Shepard.”

Her body was still vibrating from the praise that Thane had forced her father to admit. In all her years of service he had never confessed to admiring his daughter, had never owned up to how proud he was of her. Forced or not, Anya was elated to have heard the praise. Grin returning to full blast she nodded that she was eager to get to the point of their visitation.

“Come on,” Michael materialized beside them. His face was one of a father proud to show off the newest addition to his family. “I’ll take you to them.”

Shepard and Thane followed her brother into one of the rooms. Garrus, Tali, Joker, and her parents stayed outside, not wanting to over crowd Michael’s wife in her fragile state. Shepard yielded at the sight of her sister in-law. Cassandra, Michael’s wife, was pale. There were dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was a mess, and she looked tired as hell. And all of that notwithstanding she was the most gorgeous woman Anya had ever seen. Her euphoria of being a mother made her glow like the Sun. Cradled in her arms was a bundle of pink swaddled by pink.

Anya approached slowly, dragging Thane along with her. Her eyes were boring into the cute fleshy thing in Cassandra’s arms, an unnatural sound of delight about to burst from her mouth. When her gaze lifted to meet her sister in-law’s she said, “You look gorgeous, Cassandra, as always.”

“Oh, shush,” she blushed despite herself.

She was already reaching out to the baby as she asked, “May I?”

“Of course,” Cassandra gently passed the infant into Shepard’s hands.

An emotion that Shepard could not explain hatched in her gut. She had felt something similar when she had first held Mika. Her hands, calloused by battle, the instruments of destruction, so accustomed to taking lives, held this innocent little girl. This perfect little being didn’t know hate or malice, she was pure. She was the embodiment of hope. Shepard stood in speechless awe off the tiny life in her hands.

Michael stood at the end of his wife’s hospital bed, watching his sister as she watched his daughter. With a grin he disclosed, “We’re naming her Ana, after all of the powerful women in the Shepard family.”

“She’s perfect,” Anya whispered.

As she gazed down at little baby Ana sorrow started to nest somewhere in the thicket of Shepard’s chest. Glancing over her shoulder to where Thane was trapped in conversation with her brother, she tried to stay the sadness from her features. In spite of her deepest wishes Shepard was not meant to raise her own family. There was no certainty that she would live to tell the tale of this bullshit with the Collectors.

But even if she did somehow manage, there were still the Reapers that she’d have to contend with. If she dared to hope that she’d live to see victory, Thane didn’t have much time left. She couldn’t see herself starting a family without him. Hers was a dismal fate .The best Shepard could do was steal these moments with her brother and his family, and pretend for just a second that the galaxy had chosen another to be its tireless savior.

* * *

 

The explosion was everything. The sight of it hit her before the heat of it did. Shepard’s already broken body was sent flying, thrown aside, discarded. She didn’t feel anything anymore, not her kaput cadaver, not her heart. A fleeting smile carved her cracked lips. The time had finally come. She was finally dead. When she next awoke it would be across a sea and in Thane’s amorous arms.

 

 


	6. Chapter Five

  The void began to recede. The blackness that ran thick like oil in his veins was thinning. Numbness tingled along his fingertips, sensation re-inhabiting his body in slow unsteady waves. His heart beat accelerated as his consciousness began to re-acclimatize to the vessel that had once been his. After drifting in the land of in between, body and soul were at last reuniting.

   His resting place was hard, uncomfortable as it supported his deathly stiff body. Still unable to stir or pull his lids apart, Thane took a moment to reach out with his senses. It was his first acknowledged breath that was the most unsettling. It wasn’t that the air was still, lifeless, lacking movement or filter. It wasn’t even that it tasted stale against his palate.

   When he inhaled it was without pain. His lungs didn’t bubble like boiling water. His chest no longer caved within itself, threatening to kill him in a fit of unconquerable coughing. Though his chest was not without pain, the ache was of sore bones, not the familiar torment brought upon by his Keprals.

   As if waking up alive wasn’t surprise enough, the lack of breathing difficulty was too much for him to consider while his mind was moving so slowly. Deciding it was best to acknowledge the astonishment at another time, Thane felt out what he could about his surroundings. The void of lifelessness couldn’t steal from him a lifetime of assassin training.

   “ _Code Red threat level detected. Shuttles prepared for evacuation. All personnel are directed to shuttle bay immediately upon termination of project data._ ” A VI’s voice repeated, its calm tone recurring the mantra until the words nipped at his patience. Thane was surprised that he hadn’t awoken sooner. With that irking repetition it should have been impossible for even the dead to find rest.

   Something was very wrong. A code red threat level was hardly ever a reassuring occurrence. Thane forced his eyes open in attempt to reclaim the rest of his body. He woke from the black only to find himself drowning in more darkness. After several blinks of both lids, Thane recognized the present black to be a lack of light and not his lack of sight. A green consul at the door helped his eyes adjust to the surrounding darkness. A bit of relief was able to slip through the dense fog that surrounded his mind.

   Pushing himself up onto an elbow a groan resonated in the lightless room, a voice he recognized as his own. Reaching for his face Thane tried to wipe the clouds from his vision, but as he lifted his hand the appendage was caught, leashed at his side. Confused gaze stumbling down to where his arm hung mid-air, his vision was focused enough to recognize the IV tapped to his skin. When he reached with his other hand, to unhook himself from the tubing, Thane noticed the heart monitor secured onto his finger.

   Without much further thought he freed himself from the wiring fastening him to the hospital bed. Thane’s drowsy mind was still considering the hospital equipment. The machine that was supposed to be supervising his vitals hadn’t chirped once, hadn’t picked up on his accelerated heartbeat, the screen wasn’t even on. It, along with all the other mechanisms in the room, was ill-functioning.

   Why had he been disregarded, abandoned to broken machinery in a room that hadn’t been the one he died in?

   When he was finally sitting up Thane tossed his legs over the side of the bed and buried his face in his hands. The fog was starting to clear, though the world was still off kilter. He needed a moment to collect himself and reclaim full control of his limbs.

   After a few breathy minutes the haze finally dissipated. His disorientation surrendered, leaving Thane weary of the unsettling stillness that surrounded him. The building he woke in was dead, lifeless, just as he should have been. When he died, Huerta had still been very much alive. The voices of doctors, patients, and loved ones had been a constant din. But now the only sound was of the VI urging him to evacuate to the shuttle bay.

   Dislodging his face from the dry scales of his hands he finally pushed himself to explore his surroundings. Teeth clenching as he slid off of the edge of the bed, he decided to test his feet.

   Immediately after placing his weight onto his long unused feet Thane collapsed, catching the mattress before falling into a heap on the cold linoleum floor. As his weak arms pulled himself back upright he wondered just how long he’d been banished to the land of in between. Thane was very grateful to be on this side of the sea. He just wished that he had an idea as to why he had awoken at all. As soon as his body acquiesced to his mind’s demands, he was going to find out.

   With another deep breath he resolved to try his feet a second time. They disagreed with the forgotten pressures of standing. Frustration began to ember along the fringes of Thane’s patience. His mind remembered how to walk, but the prolonged disuse left his limbs forgetful. A few breaths later he tested his resolve once more.

   Leaning most of his weight against the bed, Thane found his feet. A quick prayer was sent to Arashu before he placed one unsure step forward. As he wobbled and nearly fell another time Thane realized that it was just as he feared. Until his limbs were re-accustomed to the liberties of living he would need to lean against something to support his weight. It was a weakness. It left him vulnerable to possible attack.

   His wavering feet dragged in the direction of the large rectangular window, blinds secured tightly shut. He needed to know where he was. Thane needed to have a plan laid out, and that meant an escape route. If he was still in Huerta, jumping out the window wasn’t an option. His hospital room had been too high up for him to now risk throwing himself out of, but Thane had a troubling feeling that he wasn’t at Huerta.

   Pulling apart the blinds a beam of bright light shoved him a clumsy step back. No, he wasn’t in Huerta anymore. Thane wasn’t even on the Citadel. He looked out at the forestation surrounding him. Trees and greenery reached for the cloudless blue heavens with dancing limbs. He was on a planet. Which one, he hadn’t the slightest inkling. The room he was occupying was at least three stories above ground level. Far too high for him to scale in his current condition. Thane would have to find another way out. And that meant that an investigation was in order.

   Gradually he managed towards the door, hand drawing across the wall as he used it to support some of his weight. The exertion was tiring. When Thane reached the green consul he was leaning his weight entirely upon the door. He braced himself. The moment he coerced the entry open he was going to fall. Sliding his hand over the green panel the double doors parted with a whisper and Thane fell to his knees, shaking hands holding him upright.

   The stench hit him, punching him in the empty stomach the second he inhaled the hallway air. The oxygen that invaded his lungs with sharpened claws and unsheathed fangs was tainted, filthy, destroyed by the mephitis of decay. Someone had died. And by the reek of it they had been dead for some time now.

   Biting back a dry heave, Thane breathed through his mouth, ignoring the ongoing urge to vomit. He was done with his body’s pitiful lack of tenacity. His fingers rolled into tight fists as he pushed himself back up onto his feet. A grunt escaped him as his muscles struggled to carry him forward. When Thane was up and balancing a feeling of relief washed over him like a coming tide. He could stand. And if he could stand then he could walk.

   A lifetime of instinct began to resurface. He had to investigate his surroundings. He needed to be sure that there was indeed no threat against him. Stretching out his disused digits Thane longed for the familiar weight of a fire arm in his grasp. Presently, hand to hand combat was far from an option. He could barely carry his own weight; much less throw it around with accuracy and efficiency. He needed a weapon.

   As he dragged his feet down the hall, a small number of still functional lights flickered on, the current of electricity causing the stripped wiring to spark and burst. A few drawn out minutes later Thane happened upon the center of the research facility. The lights came on, illuminating a warzone. He had found the source of the decay. The noisomeness of rotting flesh sat thick in the air, clogging his now functional lungs with the revolting taste of death.

   Bodies were strewn about, blood splattered the walls and pooled on the floor like a lake of green and red. Stepping deeper into the fog of death Thane inspected the decaying corpses. By the rate of their decomposition it appeared that they’d been dead for a few weeks already. Both human and salarian corpses lay in heaps on opposite sides of the room.

   The lack of another species in the pile of dead combatants provoked his curiosity. Thane dragged himself over to the far side of the room, stepping over and around deceased salarians to sate his nagging inquisitiveness.

   Taking a knee beside the first human body nearest him, Thane’s gaze scrutinized their white black and yellow armor. It was heavy, expensive, made from the best materials for optimal mobility and defense. Running fingers along the breastplate he felt an engraving covered up by blood. He used a finger nail to chip away the dried crimson and was less than surprised when he found what he was looking for.

   His jaw tightened with distaste. Cerberus. Judging by the defensive arrangement of the salarian cadavers he could easily derive that the research facility was non-human funded. The attack was from Cerberus. But what reason would the human elitists have for attacking the facility? Did it have to do with Thane still being alive? Maybe if he explored the rest of the building he would find some human test subjects.

   He wouldn’t find any answers to his questions here. Looking down at the Cerberus solder’s side arm Thane decided to relieve him of it. His fingers wound tightly around the gun, grateful for its weight and familiarity. Thane was alone in a dead building. He didn’t need the gun, but having it gave him comfort.

   Reclaiming his feet Thane hobbled over to the nearest computer terminal. Since finding himself on this side of the sea he had been plagued with question after question. He had yet to find an answer to a single one. The most important being how he was still alive. The gun scraped the desk top as he set it down for a moment. He leaned his weight against the desk, to catch his breath, before reaching for the holo-pad. A screen stirred to life before him, awakening to his touch. There was no data to be found in the machine. It had been wiped clean. His questions would remain unanswered.

   Thane bit back his frustration and straightened his back. His energy was wavering as it was. He didn’t need to exhaust himself trying to hack into a salarian’s research computer. The hanar hadn’t trained him for this. Throwing in the towel with a sigh, his fingers reclaimed the gun and followed the path that would return him to the room he had woken in.

   He didn’t need to know what they were researching to formulate his own conclusion. The salarians had been studying something big, big enough to bring Thane back from the dead. And the Illusive Man had sent out a team to destroy the facility and its research. There had been a fight and, from what he could tell, neither side had emerged the victor. It was a safe assumption to settle on. And for the time being it was the only one he had. But still too many questions were left unanswered.

   Now that he was sure of his safety Thane allowed his mind to wander to places he couldn’t have dwelled on before. Where was Siha? Was the war over? Had it been won? Was Kolyat safe? And primarily, where were his clothes? The hospital gown he had awoken in was letting in an uncomfortable breeze.

   Returning to the window Thane pulled open the blinds, summoning the daylight to distract him from the gloom beyond his room. The bathroom light resuscitated as he pulled the door open. Thane blinked away from the sudden lighting, his eyes adjusted quickly. A few more blinks and he recognized the man in the mirror to be himself.

   Thane had lost weight. His once muscular chest and arms were no longer the threat they had once been. His cheeks were hollow. The crimson ribbing along his neck and jaw was pale, a distinct sign of inadequate nutrition. Carefully reaching back for the strings holding his hospital gown together, he pulled it until the knot collapsed and his gown came undone.

   Shrugging out of the robe, the cloth fell to the floor around his feet. Thane sucked in a breath. His torso was bandaged. From just below his underarms all the way down to his navel-less abdomen. A thin vertical line of red bled through the bandages. Now dry blood professing a long overdue change of dressing.

   To the surprise of many, killing wasn’t the only tools the hanar had instilled in him. He needed to know how to patch up a wound should he get caught in a fray he couldn’t escape from unscathed. Thane was no Doctor Chakwas, but he had skill enough to know how to cleanse and dress an injury. The tools he needed were no further than the room he had reawakened in.

   Thane placed the scissors, gauze, and medical tape on the bathroom counter. Filling a basin with warm water and tossing a rag into the liquid, he began to cut through the layers of bandages that had seemingly held him together. His healing flesh refused to part with the gauze. The dry blood stuck like Velcro as he pulled the bandages from his body. Without so much as wincing, he slowly eased the dirty dressings away from his body until he was finally free of it.

   What lay beneath made him bite back a curse. An angry red line clawed straight up his chest, starting from just below his rib cage all the way up to his collar bone. To his relief it didn’t look infected. Surprisingly, it actually looked as though it were passing through the final stages of healing. As Thane took the damp cloth from the basin and wringed it dry he wondered what it exactly had been done to him.

   Was there a new set of lungs under that thick, mean looking scar? Did his now easy breathing mean that he was free of Keprals Syndrome? That was almost too much to hope for. So Thane proceeded to mechanically clean the wound and redress it without bearing in mind what the surgical scar meant for him.

   Once the new bandages were in place Thane used the wash cloth to clean the rest of his body. He didn’t know how long he had been in this medical facility. But, judging by the corpses outside, it had been weeks since he had been properly tended to. It was enough time to build up quite the stink, one comparable to the death outside of his room.

   Freshly bathed and bandaged Thane ventured out to locate his leathers and some food to ease into his stomach. The rest of the building was much like what he had encountered in the research center. Bodies were thrown against walls and along the floors, blood spattered across the surfaces like dried paint.

   He found the employee lounge before he found his rightful clothes. Cutting straight for the pantry, Thane ignored the refrigerator all together. He could assume that it would smell no better inside the cool box than it was outside. He would keep to the non-perishables if he could.

   Scavenging out some nutritious packages he gingerly opened up one crinkly wrapped bar and placed a generous amount into his mouth. Thane knew the risks of over eating after going so long without physical food in his stomach. He was disciplined enough to take it slowly, but hungry enough to push it just a little.

   Satisfied that he had ingested sufficient food to get his metabolism up and running again, he went on to explore the rest of the building. He ripped open drawers and pulled apart cabinets in all the rooms he searched, left nothing unturned or uncharted in his pursuit for the familiar form fitting clothes he favored.

   It wasn’t until he stumbled upon a loading dock of sorts that he found his clothes. They’d been stowed away in a crate, deeply embedded in a pile of unfamiliar wardrobe. His body tensed when he had to sift though articles of unclaimed clothing in order to find his own. He hadn’t been the only test subject in this facility. Far from it. But in his investigation he had found no one else. There had been no other dead drells in hospital beds, no bodies forgotten in dark rooms still connected to faulty equipment by tubes and wires. He wondered, not for the first time that day, why he was alive.

   As Thane slipped into his leathers he decided to locate the shuttle bay. Aside from his questionable resurrection the research facility had proven to bring very little to fruition. He unearthed zero answers to any of the hundred queries he’d formulated upon waking. If he couldn’t find his answers here then he would have to go elsewhere. He just hoped that there was still a shuttle functional enough to get him off world.

   The shuttle bay was located at the top of the structure. At least ten shuttles slumbered there, untouched since the Cerberus attack. It appeared as though every shuttle that had ever belonged to the facility could still be found in the bay, meaning that not a single being had made it out with their lives. Kalahira, goddess of oceans and afterlife, may these souls find peace on your shores. Cerberus had claimed so much life. The only good they had ever committed had to be bringing back his Siha.

   Thane looked beyond the opening shuttle bay doors. The forestation rejoiced in the daylight. Green danced across the expanse of this planet’s horizon, offering peace and hope to its admirers. The color was familiar to him, an enchanting combination of shades of green that reminded him of the emerald shade of Anya’s irises.

   His breath hitched as black filled his vision, the vista disappearing behind an overwhelming memory. Thane was brought to his knees as his mind drowned him in the past. He couldn’t fight it off or shake it away. This memory would be replayed, whether he wanted it to or not.

 

* * *

 

   Thane hadn’t meant to intrude. He’d been sitting comfortably on the sofa, contemplating the reflective orb levitating over the coffee table, patiently awaiting her arrival. Anya had explained that it was Prothean in origin, an artifact that she had discovered while taking the hammerhead out for a test drive. It was the second of its kind that she'd encountered. The first had been after shaking down a fleet of space monkeys, a story she told with amusing detail. The Hanar would have paid handsomely to obtain such an artifact. No price was too high to posses something of the enkindlers. A thought he discarded at the sound of the loft doors parting.

   Shepard entered the cabin wordlessly, not noticing his presence as she connected with Admiral Hackett, not even offering him a chance to voice his presence before the Admiral started making requests. The Admiral’s grim appearance covered the encasing of her model ship collection, brightening Siha’s features in the otherwise lightless room.

   “ _Commander. Thank you for your time. I’ll keep this brief._ ” He debriefed her on a classified mission, one better referred to as a favor to a friend. It was a personal errand, a task he could entrust to no one else. Thane was less than surprised when Shepard accepted the mission without hesitation, despite the risks. She had something to prove to the Admiral. Anya needed to show where her loyalties still lied.

   With a curt nod she voiced her acceptance of the task. “I’ll make this a priority.”

   The Admiral explained the prison’s location then assured her that shortly she’d get the rest of the information. Without so much as a thank you he ended the conversation as tersely as he had started it, “ _Hackett out_.”

   Something about the way the Admiral treated Anya didn’t sit well with Thane. His Siha was not an acting Alliance soldier. She was willing to perform this dangerous errand for the man out of respect and for their long standing friendship, and maybe a bit out of duty. The least he could do was show some gratitude for her willingness.

   When she and Hackett disconnected Thane stood from the sofa, finally able to voice his presence in the room. “Siha,” Anya leaped at the sound of his voice. His lips twitched upward at the sight of her surprise. Shepard did not startle easily. Not many people ever got the slip on her.

   Ascending the few steps to where she stood, Thane leaned his weight against her desk. She moved to him, placing herself between his legs, her fingers feeling up his chest to the ribbing of his neck as his grasp found her hips and wove around her waist. There was a rightness about their proximity. Her place was in his arms, just as his place was at her side.

   Observing her serene features he went on to say, “My apologies, Siha. I did not mean to overhear.”

   A smile unearthed across her swollen lips. She shrugged off his apology as unnecessary, a demonstration of her trust in him. “No need for apologies, Krios. We both know that you’re a shameless spy.”

   He returned her smile with a kiss. Brushing crimson strands from her eyes he replied, “I’ll leave the spying to Kasumi,” his mirth dissipated as he recalled Hackett’s request. Features sobering, Thane couldn’t help but add, “Just as you should leave foisting to those more experienced.”

   “More experienced,” she repeated with a scoff. Her emerald eyes narrowed as she removed his hands from around her waist and took a step away from him before she could rebuke. “You do realize that that’s what I do, don’t you?” Anya raised a disapproving eyebrow. She was insulted by his insinuation, and rightfully so. “I’m an infiltrator, Thane. I didn’t get classified as such because it enhances my already colorful resume. Sneaking around undetected is kind of part of the job description.”

   Thane had confidence in her abilities. He hadn’t meant to imply otherwise. She was a fantastic infiltrator. Her skill almost on par with Kasumi’s antics. But that wasn’t consolation enough. Knowing she was great at something didn’t mean that he was comfortable with her going it alone. “I don’t doubt your capabilities, Anya. It’s the part that he expects you to do this on your own that makes me uncomfortable.”

   Shepard closed the distance between them again. Gentle fingers traced the lines of his velvet ribbing. A soft smile ticked the corners of her mouth at the sound of him humming in approval. It was his fault that their relationship hadn't escalated to a carnal level. Though he couldn't admit it, Thane was giving Shepard a chance to turn him away, to come to her senses and realize that loving a man so close to death would only result in heart ache.

   He knew it frustrated her. Anya needed more of him. She needed all of him, butThane wanted to protect her. He couldn’t bear the thought of her mourning him as he had mourned Irikah. Even though he needed her just as badly as she needed him. Thane needed to know her, all of her, to feel every part of her. His body ached for her warmth, for the union not only of their flesh but of their souls as well.

   Still he resisted, dodged her advances, flirted with temptation. All to keep her safe from his ultimate passing. But he could resist her for only so long. His resolve was already dangerously thin. And Thane had a feeling that Shepard could tell.

   “I know it’s not ideal,” She started as her fingers felt the angles of his cheek. “Going in without anyone to watch my back doesn’t sit well with me either. But Hackett needs this of me. And I need to show him that I’m an Alliance soldier first and foremost, even if the Normandy is currently flying Cerberus colors.”

   Thane would not argue with her anymore. Her mind was made. She was going to break an accused terrorist out of prison, alone, and there was nothing that he could say or do to change that. His Siha would not be moved by his words or actions, so Thane grudgingly acquiesced. He trusted her to avoid any heroics and return to his arms. But the others would not be silenced as easily.

   The corner of his mouth twitched as he observed, “Your crew will be displeased.”

   She shut her eyes as if suddenly considering how the others would take the news of her most recent mission. With a sigh Anya shook her head, the strands of her blood red hair falling into her face before she brushed them back. “Well, they’re just going to have to suck it up. First person to give me lip is going to be made an example out of.”

   “Then I’ll be sure to keep my lips to myself,” Thane teased.

   “Don’t you dare.” Anya claimed his lips with hers, coaxing his mouth to part as she caressed his bottom lip with her tongue. As she explored the inside of his mouth her smell filled his nose, swirling into his lungs like a drug. If he could Thane would have bottled the scent to keep with him always. The scent that accompanied her was of sunshine and freedom, like the pond they had swam in those weeks ago. The memory of her so close to nakedness made his body warm and achy.

   She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself ever closer to him. Their bodies were treacherously pressed together. Thane could feel all of her, could even feel her heart picking up speed. He wound his arms tightly around her, embedding her even deeper into his embrace. His hands wandered, feeling her back, the small of it, the plane just before the glorious curve of her back side. The temptation to grab a handful of her bottom, to satisfy the urge to fondle that flesh, was almost unbearable. She was too much, too much enticement. His willpower to abstain from her was wavering.

   In attempt to reestablish their usual comfortable, if somewhat sexually repressed, demeanor Thane ripped his lips from hers and slid out from under her arms. He needed the distance between them. His resolve was shoddy. If she knew how close he was to abandoning the need to preserve what little emotional protection she had from him, she wouldn’t have allowed their lips to have parted.

   Thane felt her frustration as strongly as he felt his own. His body raged against him, bellowing at being denied the warrior angel that would appease his needs. He was nearly at his wits end. Siha, and his body, would soon both be sated. The struggle of denying her was almost more like a game. How long could he go without knowing her completely? Too long, it would seem.

   Shepard crossed her arms. Her features were tense with her aggravation. The greens of her eyes narrowed with displeasure. When she spoke it was nearly a growl, a warning he would be intelligent to heed. “Keep denying me like this, Krios, and I _will_ ravish you.”

   He didn’t reply. Anything that came out of his mouth next would have been an invitation for her to just that. Instead Thane moved towards the fish tank, avoiding her annoyed glare as he asked, “When will you leave?”

   His body ached when she took up the space at his side. He needed to touch her but resisted, knowing how close he was to claiming her, body and soul.

   Rolling her shoulders she answered, “I told Hackett that I’d make this a priority. That means I really shouldn’t sit with my thumb up my ass. I’ll inform the crew then see myself out.” Tossing him a sidelong glance she added as assurance, “I’ll be back before you can miss me.”

   Turning his body to face hers Thane pulled the Commander into his arms, holding her close as he ran his fingers through her glossy crimson hair. “Even a moment out of your presence is an eternity without oxygen.”

   He felt her melting in his embrace. Her eyes softened before narrowing again. Fists tightly clenching the front of his leathers she reminded him of her previous warning. “ _Don’t_ tease me, Drell.”

   A chuckle rumbled in his chest unbidden. Nodding an apology he released her from his grasp, instantly missing the feeling of her body against his. Thane placed a gentle kiss on her brow before turning towards the door. “I’ll leave you to your preparations,” he muttered as he departed from her cabin.

   An uneasy feeling began to settle then nest in the deep of his gut. This favor for a friend was not sitting well with him, and instinct dictated that he be on high alert.

\--

 

   “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” Jack’s outrage was the loudest of all the protests, but the squad had voiced their disapproval all at the same time. Thane smirked. Shepard would have a difficult time figuring out who had been the first to give her lip, and a tougher time making an example out of them.

   “Enough,” Shepard silenced her squad with a snarl. Her glare pinned Jack in place. “No, I am not fucking kidding you.” Her scowl panned across the bodies that occupied the conference room. Satisfied that her team would allow her to go on uninterrupted, she continued. “This is important. And taking a squad will attract  attention. That’s why I have to go alone.”

   “Batarians are soft,” Grunt was eager to accompany his battle-master into any fight, as were they all. “Why bother sneaking around? You should just kill anyone who gets in your way.”

   She ignored the krogan’s bloodlust. Rubbing the agitation from her brow she spoke, “Look, my mind has been made. I’m going, alone. I didn’t bring you all here to argue. I brought you together as a courtesy, nothing less nothing more. There will be radio silence until I’ve secured the Doctor. I’ll be in and out before you know it. So, please, behave yourselves.”

   Miranda was about to continue with a very well thought out argument before Anya’s glare made her screw her mouth tightly shut. Relenting with a sneer she grumbled, “It seems we can’t stop you.”

   “No,” Shepard agreed, “you can’t.”

   “I don’t like this, Shepard,” Garrus’ gaze was concerned as he inspected his friend’s determined features. To Thane’s surprise he didn’t argue with her. The turian gave his Commander a nod, showing his unwavering support. “But I trust you. You get this done then come back. We’ve got Collectors to deal with.”

   His Siha nodded her agreement and appreciation. To the rest of her team, she said, “I won’t be long,” before dismissing them and making her way to the shuttle bay. Thane and Garrus both accompanied her during the elevator ride down.

   “Boys, I’m serious,” her tone was reproving yet amused. Shepard didn’t like being hovered over but accepted their over-protectiveness good-naturedly. “I can handle only one mother hen on this goddamn ship, and Miranda does a more than sufficient job in that area.”

They disembarked the elevator and made their way to the ready shuttle. When they were only yards away she turned on them, the scowl on her lips more playful than impatient. To Garrus she instructed, “I expect you to make sure that everyone is on their best behavior. The Normandy better be in one fucking piece when I get back or I will have your head.”

   Garrus chuckled, the discomfort was evident in his voice but he didn’t bring attention to it so neither did they. “I’ll do my best, Shepard.”

   “I’m not kidding, Gare-Bear. The mice will play while the cat is away.”

   “Got it,” he shook his head, bemused by her pseudo stern tone. “The vermin will be on our best behavior.”

   “Good,” she smiled at her friend. Turning her gaze to Thane the smile on her lips developed to something different, softened with heavier emotions. “And you,” she poked him in the chest for emphasis, “If this takes a little longer than I anticipate, I expect you to feed my fish.”

   Thane fought the smile from his mouth. Parting was as difficult for her as it was for him. Removing her hand from his chest and bringing it to his lips Thane remarked, “Is that not what you have Ms. Chambers for?”

   “Kelly is relieved from that task until I return.” It was Anya’s not so subtle way of telling him that she wanted him to be there when she arrived, in her cabin waiting for her.

   He would not argue. He planned on being there upon her return whether she had requested it or not. With a nod he consented, “The fish will be fed.”

   “Alright,” Shepard unwillingly removed her hand from his grasp and replaced it at her side before glancing at the shuttle at her back. “See you boys soon,” she said as she turned and disappeared behind the closing door.

   Garrus and Thane both watched as the shuttle departed. The turian sighed, his breath as tense as his body. With a quick shake of his head he admitted, “I have a bad feeling about this.”

   Disclosing that he felt the same was not an option. Even if Shepard was well out of hearing distance she still needed their support. “She’ll be fine,” the assurance was for the both of them. She needed to be fine. Anything less was unacceptable. “Shepard can handle herself.”

   His mandibles flapped. “Yeah,” Garrus didn’t sound convinced, but then again neither was Thane. “I’m going to do some calibrating. If you need me, you know where to find me.” He turned on his heel and left the drell to his thoughts.

   Thane lingered only a moment longer. Shepard would soon be back and she expected to find him in her cabin. He would not disappoint his Siha. First he would grab a few things from Life Support then he would make his way to her loft. With any luck he would be able to do some meditating to pass the time. 


	7. Chapter Six

 “ _Thane_ ,” EDI’s voice filled Shepard’s cabin, abducting him from the meditations he’d been only halfheartedly indulging. “ _Gabriella and Kenneth would like to speak with you on engineering deck_.”

   Quirking an eyebrow Thane glanced to the orb projection by the loft’s entrance. Only a few of the crew members were comfortable enough with him to actively seek him out. Ms. Daniels and Kenneth Donnelly were not counted among those few. The request was uncommon, but Anya’s absence made it suspicious. If for no other reason, he would go to entertain his growing curiosity.

   Uncrossing his legs and reclaiming his feet he brushed off his pants as he inquired, “Do you know what about?”

   “ _They did not say._ ” The AI disappeared, anticipating that he had no further questions.

   He gave the fish tank a fleeting glance before heading for the lift and starting the decent to engineering. Thane had a broad skill set, considering his previous vocation, but his knowledge of the inner workings of a highly advanced war ship left a bit to be desired. He could think of nothing that would require his assistance, or why it would require his assistance now that the commanding officer of the vessel was conveniently unavailable.

   Thane didn’t want to consider an attack, but his training wouldn't allow for him to dismiss the thought. His romance with the Commander was not vocally frowned upon, but this was still a Cerberus ship with a predominantly human crew. There were bound to be a few uncomfortable by an interspecies liaison.

   The elevator stopped on engineering deck and Thane made the turn through the doors that would lead him to the drive core. Immediately he noticed the human biotic casually lingering halfway up the stairway. Ignoring her he proceeded through the final doors. He would remain conscious of Jack, never disregarding her capabilities, but she was like an animal. Unless provoked she would remain fairly docile.

   Gabriella and Kenneth both turned at the sound of the doors sliding open. With their attention on him Thane asked, “What’s the matter,” as he paced into their workspace. Though his gaze was on Gabby, he was fully aware of Zaeed looming by the door on Tali’s side of the room.

   Should this be an ambush he would need to take out the biotic first. She was the wild card, unpredictable, a danger until he was close enough to snap her neck or sever her spine. Then he’d have to deal with Zaeed. A task that would be simple if he was quick. The man was no longer a young human male. He had seen his prime, the apex of his abilities, and was on the declining end of his life. He was brute strength and big guns, not a style desirable for close quarter combat. Tali would be the next challenge, quick and nimble as she was. But Thane was confident that he would be able to incapacitate her. She was Anya’s friend, killing her would only be an option if he had no other. That left Gabby and Kenneth. They were engineers with basic military training, hardly worth heavy consideration.

   It was Kenneth that replied, appearing more relaxed than his female counterpart. “Nothing’s wrong, mate.” A smile brightened his friendly features as he added, “Nothing that an assassin would be able to help us with at least.”

   With an incredulous roll of her eyes, Gabriella intervened before her friend’s social gracelessness could cause insult. “We didn’t call you down here because we have a problem. It’s Thursday,” she offered as explanation with a shrug. When Thane didn’t voice his understanding she clarified, “Every Thursday the Commander plays Skyllian-Five with us.”

   “And since the woman is currently indisposed, the lot of us are a player short.” Zaeed pushed himself off of the wall as he addressed Thane. He spoke as though to a friend, a playfulness shining in his one good eye. “Who better to replace our unfailing leader than the scaly bastard slithering into her bed?”

   Thane didn’t bother correcting him. The man wouldn’t have believed him anyway. A semi-smirk half formed on his lips as he considered. So this was an ambush after all. It just wasn’t the type he had expected. Declining the invitation would have been an easy thing if it had been only Donnelly or Zaeed asking him; but saying no to Zaeed, Donnelly, Gabriella, Jack, and Tali was a different beast all together.

   Smirk easing into a smile he agreed to a game. It couldn’t hurt to become closer to his crew-mates. It was something that his Siha was very choral about. Nodding that he would play, Thane admitted, “I’ve never had the privilege of playing Skyllian-Five. You will have to be gentle with the novice.”

   “Not a chance,” Kenneth barked with laughter. At his side Gabby was also sniggering at Thane’s proposal. Answering the question in Thane’s lifted brow he explained, “Commander Shepard used that line and robbed me blind. I’ll be damned if I fall for that one again.”

   “Well, shit,” Jack appeared at the door way, a grin on her darkly painted lips. “You actually got the drell to agree. Looks like I owe you twenty creds, Ken.”

   “Keep your credits,” Donnelly waived her off. A teasing smile made his expression wolfish. “You’ll need every cred you can scrape up by the time I’m through with you.”

   “Your over confidence didn’t help you last week, Kenneth,” Tali scolded the human, though her voice held nothing but her amusement. “Or do I have to teach you another lesson on humility?”

 

\--

 

   They were already three games deep of Skyllian-Five. Donnelly hadn’t been jesting when he said he wouldn't go easy on Thane. The human was not even giving him a fighting chance.

   He was picking up on the logistics and basics of the game. Though the reason he remained throughout his losing experience wasn't for the gambling. This motley crew on the deck of engineering was an unusual one. Gabby and Kenneth were old friends, yet welcomed the friendship of others with warm eyes and teasing smiles. The usually timid and quiet Tali was boisterous around her fellow engineers, her laugh a musical sound, and her energy was radiant. Jack’s snarl was replaced by a sneer, a foxy change of her lips made her almost approachable. And Zaeed was himself through and through. Every word spoken was the lead up to a story related on some unrelated level. He was an experienced veteran with tales to tell if there were ears willing to listen.

   All in all, Thane could easily see why Anya set time aside every week to play cards with them. Thane decided that he would be accompanying her from then on out.

   “She threw the table clear across the fucking room,” Jack said behind a guffaw of pure delight. Careful to keep her cards concealed she continued, “I’ve never seen Tali lose her shit like that.”

   “I did not lose my shit,” the quarian’s tone was defensive as she adjusted the order of the cards in her hand. With a shrug she admitted, “Okay, maybe I lost it a little. But we had just returned from the Migrant Fleet. It was an emotional time for me.”

   Thane remembered the drama with Tali’s people. They had used Tali as a scapegoat to skirt around their real qualms concerning the geth. He had been there when Tali found her father’s body. He had been witness to the inadequate message he had left his daughter, and the embrace that Anya knew that Tali had so desperately needed. Considering the toll an experience such as the one she had gone through could take, the throwing of a few tables seemed like a reasonable thing to do.

   Deciding to turn away from an uncomfortable topic Thane noticed that there was a member of engineering deck not present for their game. “Does Grunt not play Skyllian-Five,” he asked as he looked over the faces of his crew-mates. Gabby had a good hand. She always tucked her hair behind her ear when she had a good hand.

   “He used to come play with us,” said Zaeed with a laugh. Shaking his head he explained, “But that krogan is a sore loser. The last time that he played he and Jack almost fought to the death. If the Commander hadn’t been here,” he shook his head again. “Now the only game we play with Grunt is Skyllian-First-Blood. It should be violent enough for his liking.”

   A few more minutes passed of playful banter before Joker’s voice sounded over the intercom. With a grin evident in his tone he announced, “T _he Commander just made contact. She has the Doctor and will be touching down at their base of operations. Momma’s coming home soon, kiddos._ ”

   Thane couldn’t help the smile that unearthed along his lips. He was more than ready for Siha to be returned to his arms. Folding his hand Thane said, “As pleasurable as this experience has been, I regretfully have some fish to feed.” He pushed back his seat and made a move for the door. As his feet were set on their retreat the teasing began.

   “Wouldn’t want to keep your woman waiting, now would you?”

   “He just knew that I was going to take all of his money, again.”

   “Coward. Does Shepard know you run away at the face of defeat?”

   “You have only won the battle, Jack.” Thane nodded his farewell before heading to the lift and returning to Anya’s loft.

   An uneasiness he dismissed as anticipation set up camp in his gut. What would happen when Anya returned to her cabin? Why exactly had she requested that he wait for her there? Thane felt he knew the answer to both questions. The only question that remained was whether or not he had the desire or willpower to continue to resist her.

\--

   Pacing the loft Thane glanced at the clock on the night stand for the hundredth time. The fish were fed, the space hamster was fed, the entire rest of the crew was fed, and Shepard had not returned. The feeling he’d disregarded for anticipation deepened. He now knew to acknowledge it as trepidation. Something had gone wrong. Siha was in danger. She was unaided and unaccounted for.

With a jagged exhale, his feet set out for the lift yet again. He needed to go to Joker. The pilot would be able to reach the Commander. He and EDI would find out why Anya hadn’t, in the very least, checked in with them.

   “I’m doing all I can, Garrus.” The turian had beaten him to it. Standing behind the pilot’s chair, he was monitoring the various screens before the seated human. Thane was both relieved and troubled to find him there. He could at least take some comfort in the fact that Shepard’s delayed arrival disturbed others besides him. Not that Anya’s disappearance was any sort of reassurance.

   When Garrus noticed Thane’s arrival he greeted him with a nod. Returning his gaze to the monitors he said, “Joker’s having trouble reaching Shepard.” There was a slight accusation in the statement, enough to be noticed, but not enough to be taken too seriously.

   “I’m having trouble working with you breathing down by neck,” Joker corrected. “Reaching Shepard isn’t the problem. Her comm. isn’t even on. She’s gone completely dark.”

   “Did she tell you the coordinates to the location she’d been headed to?” He knew the answer to that question before even asking it. Thane needed to hear Joker say it.

   Shaking his head the human replied exactly how Thane had expected him to. “If she had we’d be extracting her happy ass out of there right now.”

   “There has to be something more that you can do,” Garrus demanded. He glanced at Thane before adding, “Something we can do.”

   “Mr. Moreau and I are doing everything we can.” EDI assured them. In a more stern, almost motherly tone, she instructed, “The moment the situation has changed we will alert you. You can help by giving Jeff space to perform his job to optimal capacity.”

   “Right,” the turian was not happy to relent but understood that he wouldn’t do any good from the cockpit. He turned on his heel and left Jeff to his job. Thane followed close behind, uncomfortable by the helplessness beginning to bud inside him. From beside him Garrus grumbled, “I told you that I had a bad feeling about this, Thane. She should have never left without backup.”

   “She’s fine, Garrus.” Meaningless assurances fell on deaf ears. The words meant as little to him as they meant to the turian. Knowing that Anya was alone, and in danger, was going to drive him mad, but he needed to keep calm. The crew needed to maintain faith in the fact that Shepard could handle herself and would return to them shortly. “Whatever is going on, she can handle it.”

   “You better be right.”

   Gods, he hoped he was right. If he wasn’t . . . Thane didn’t know what he was going to do.

\--

   The next day and the day after were much of the same ever growing tension. Without Shepard present to maintain peace, nerves were becoming more and more frayed. Anya was the glue that held them all together. She was the one that made them more than crew-mates, made them family. Missing, she was a reminder that none of them had done enough to keep her safe. Her absence made them all reflect on the knowledge that, should the worst come to effect, it would be their faults for not insisting in accompanying her.

   Thane had grown more and more restless. He paced in the loft, the elevator, the mess hall, Life Support, the main battery; everywhere he went he ended up wearing a track into the flooring. When addressing his crew-mates it was always with assurances that Shepard was fine, that she would be returning soon, there was nothing to worry about. Lies meant to uplift spirits, his words had no effect, least of all on himself. In-between pacing holes into the floors he lingered around the cockpit, loitering beside Joker in anticipation of his Siha finally checking in with the pilot. It was where he was headed now.

   Miranda was leaning over Joker’s chair, reading the monitors with a disconcerted expression. She didn’t acknowledge Thane as he joined them, standing silently to the side as he watched their interaction. Her voice was uncertain, worried, as her stare moved from the screens to the windows beyond. He noticed it then, the blue spec that was the mass relay and the smaller spec that was slowly approaching it.

   Stupefaction constricted his chest. That was an asteroid, propelling straight for the only way out of the system. Should the big space rock make contact with the mass relay the Normandy would be stuck, not only that but the explosion could annihilate the system all together. Why would anyone want to destroy a mass relay?

   Realization struck Thane like a well placed punch to the chest. Hackett had sent Anya out to investigate a possible Reaper related artifact. If she was manning that asteroid to make contact with the mass relay, it meant that the relay was the gateway for an attack the galaxy was far from ready to face.

   Taking a step towards the window Thane muttered, “Siha.”

   Miranda noticed the expression on Thane’s features the same time that Joker demanded some room to do his damn job. Brow rising she wondered, “What is it, Thane? What do you know?”

   Shaking his head he explained, “The Commander is on that asteroid.” He didn’t sound as certain as he felt. Thane knew she was on that rock. He just couldn’t bring himself to believe it. What had happened in the last two days? What had she gone through? Destroying a mass relay was drastic, last resort behavior. What was happening with his warrior angel?

   “How do you know,” she demanded. The Cerberus agent worked with facts. Nothing less.

   Unfortunately Thane didn’t have facts. He had a hunch. “I have a feeling,” he admitted begrudgingly. Miranda would have to trust his feelings. They either saved the Commander or they left her behind to save themselves. He would not be responsible for abandoning her.

   “— _der Shepard to Normandy. Normandy do you read? Let me hear that sexy voice of yours, Joker._ ” Anya’s voice was like the sound of a break in the continuous storms of Kajhe. There was static and interference but she had finally made contact. They finally found her. Thane thanked every god and goddess he knew.

   Joker fiddled with the controls, “Shit, Commander, yeah we read you.” His brows furrowed a second later, his hands moving more manically. “Commander? Damnit!” They lost comm.’s again, an interference with the link severing their precious contact with the beloved Commander. EDI scanned for Shepard locating her exact location on the asteroid before informing them of their dwindling time frame to safely evacuate the star system.

   “Shit, shit, shit,” Joker maneuvered the ship, “We’re inbound for pick up. How’s your distance jumping, Commander? “

   “ _Better than yours,_ ” her voice replied. It was the last words exchanged before Joker brought the Normandy close enough to the asteroid to rescue Shepard while avoiding a collision and killing everyone aboard. Nearly the entire crew was in the CIC, watching with wide eyes.

   They had assembled once they had made contact with the Commander. Now that they were so close to retrieving her, and maybe almost dying in the process, they were stilled in silence as they held their breaths.

   No one dared to breath, not even as EDI announced that Shepard was aboard. They had the Commander but were far from clear of the danger. Shepard burst from the airlock in a frenzy. She trampled over the small horde of people collecting around the cockpit. Trusting Joker to get them all out with haste, she shoved bodies aside as she sprinted towards the galaxy map.

   Thane watched his warrior angel as she gawked at the display of the known worlds, her face hidden behind the bulk of her helmet. There was a strain to her stance, a weight that had not been there when she left.

   The Normandy vaulted from the mass relay, propelled safely to the next before the asteroid obliterated everything. If the ship had been piloted by anyone else they would have all been dead. Of that Thane had no doubt. He was still watching the Commander as the crew voiced their relief. She slumped down, whether with her own relief or with grief he couldn’t tell.

   After a few breaths she straightened her back and thanked Joker, “For getting my sorry ass off of that damned rock, I owe you a lifetime supply of drinks.”

   “And a new pair of pants, Commander,” Joker teased, though the tension of her unexplained disappearance then dramatic return still lingered throughout the ship. “You’re going to have to explain to me why that damned rock was on a crash course with a mass relay.”

   Anya’s gaze passed over her crew, acknowledging that they all shared the same questioning gaze. With a sigh she assured them, “Later.” Turning she paced the short distance to the lift and pressed the button that would summon it. Without looking over her shoulder she muttered, “Right now I need a stiff drink.” before stepping into the yawning elevator.

   Joker glanced to where Thane stood, still lingering by the cockpit, before sighing, “Whatever happened down there, it must have been rough.”

   “Yeah,” Garrus slowly agreed. His steel blue stare also landed on Thane. Mandibles clicking he supplied, “She probably shouldn’t be alone.”

   Thane could take a hint. Both of Anya’s friends wanted him to go to her, to reassure her and be there for her. Thane wanted to do exactly that. He didn’t need passive suggestions. He knew what should be done. He also knew his Siha. “She’ll want a moment to herself.”

   He did not want to give her a moment. Two days had passed without her. The separation had been terrible. A moment alone was a moment too many. But out of respect Thane would at least give her that.

   “She’ll also want to drink herself blind,” the turian rebuked. Brow plates shifting with understanding, he gestured to the elevator. “She’s been alone for two days. I don’t think a little friendly company would be so bad right about now.”

   He agreed with a nod. Without a parting word Thane followed his Siha’s path to the elevator. The ascent was slow going, giving him a chance to consider what he could possibly say to her. He hadn’t the slightest idea what she had faced, what she had been through. His sympathy would have been forged out of assumptions and inferences. It wasn’t enough. She needed more than that. He needed to offer her more. But what? Thane hadn’t found an answer by the time the elevator reached its destination and spit him out.

   The sound of falling water filled the cabin as the door opened to his arrival. Thane took a few unsure steps inside before finding the bathroom door ajar, clouds of hot steam billowing free into the cool loft air.

   “Shepard,” he risked glancing inside. Should she be naked Thane would never be able to focus his mind ever again.

   To both his relief and disappointment Anya was just barely dressed. A tank top clung to her, soaked through from the scalding shower water. Siha’s typically softly tanned skin was reddened from the heat.

   Her face was burrowed deep into the nook of her arm. Shoulders jumped as she rocked from side to side. The blood red of her hair slithered down her arms, falling like from a fresh wound. At the sound of his voice she glanced up at him, the whites of her eyes as red as her skin. Though the water washed away the tears, the sorrow in her expression was evidence enough that she was far from okay.

   Barely audible above the blare of the spraying shower, she whispered, “Thane,” before a fresh wave of tears wracked her body.

   He stood frozen at the sight of her. His goddess had been hurt. Her cheek was bruised, a single discoloration among a canvas of many. Scattered across the expanse of her body were angry blotches of previously inflicted injury. Someone had dared to hurt his warrior angel. Whether in this life or the next, Thane would make them pay. He would not be satisfied until every single injury was repaid tenfold.

   Without word or thought Thane joined her. He stepped into the fire of falling water, ignoring the scalding temperature as he settled down beside her. His body turned to instinct. Every atom of his genetic makeup called to her. His limbs reached for her of their own accord, and his need to hold her was incitement enough to proceed.

   Thane scooped her into his arms and pressed her tightly into an embrace. Purpose possessed him. In that moment he lived for only one reason. Anya was broken, shards of her shattered soul strewn about in the aftermath of what she’d faced alone. He would help her collect the pieces. He had promised her his hand those many weeks ago. But now she needed more than his hand. She needed his strength.

   Whatever she needed from him, it was hers for the taking. He rocked her back and forth, hugging her to his chest as he tried to carry her through her wordless misery.

   Anya’s cries were soft whimpers as she clung to him as if for dear life. She buried her face into his neck, her arms wound securely around him. Rubbing her back Thane murmured softly, words spoken too lowly for her translator to register. Words meant to mend her tattered soul. For the moment she was disconnected and he would help her find herself once again.

   Hands balling into fists at his back Anya croaked, “I killed them, Thane.” Impossibly, her grip around him tightened. Her entire body heaved with grief. Her cries were soundless, a pitch-less sorrow that could shatter the thickest of glass. “An entire system . . . dead, because of me.”

   “No.” He wouldn't let her shoulder that kind of blame. Hand cupping her cheek Thane gently forced her to meet his gaze.

   His heart broke at the desolation found in those gloriously green irises. He would have given anything to take this pain from her. Thane would have done anything to have gone in her place. Shepard was a proud woman, strong, brave, and moral. To see her so broken, so hopeless, he couldn’t bear it.

   Gazing deeply into her eyes, trying with everything he had to impart with her his strength, he insisted, “I know you, Siha. You would have done anything you could to save as many lives as possible. This was an unfortunate catastrophe. But it was not your fault.”

   A humorless, nearing bitter, chuckle sounded from her. “Wasn’t it you that once said, ‘we must carry the weight of our decisions’?” Ripping her face from his hands she grumbled, “This one is all on me.”

   “What other choice did you have?” He would not be turned away so easily. She could not push him from her. Even if her arms were still tightly woven around him, Anya was trying to put up a wall, and Thane would not allow that. Her pain was his. Her despair was his. And he would not allow her to try and sever that. “Tell me, Siha, because if there had been another choice you would have made it.”

   “Such confidence you have in me.” Her eyes found his again. There was an anger there that was not meant for him but for herself. He was an outlet. She needed to unleash this riptide of emotion, and Thane was willing to brunt the assault of her rage.

   “I knew something was up.” The admission was spit out, disdain in every word. She hated herself, hated what she had allowed to happen. "Kenson was indoctrinated the entire time. I had a feeling but I ignored it because she was an old friend of Hackett’s. The Alpha Relay was the Reapers back door in. She knew the Reapers were coming.

   "It was why she was based on an asteroid in the first place. That _old friend_ had an entire goddamn army attack me, kept me asleep for two whole days, then sabotaged all my attempts to alert the Batarians that their system was about to be wiped off the fucking map.” She shook her head. Her entire body vibrated with anger. “Nothing I did was enough. If I had just been a little faster. If I had woken up sooner . . . I could have saved them, Thane. I should have found a way to save them.”

   “But you couldn’t,” he completed, “Because there was _no_ way.” He moved until he was in her line of sight, until she was forced to meet and hold his gaze. “Siha, the lives lost today pale in comparison to how many could have been lost if the Alpha Relay hadn’t been destroyed.”

   He grabbed her face with both hands when she tried to look away again. Pressing his forehead to hers he assured her, “Sometimes the right decision feels like the wrong one. You made the right call, and deep down I know you know it.”

   She was silent for a moment, sniveling the last of her tears. After a few seconds passed she found his gaze again. Sadness still lingered in the greens of her eyes. And Thane knew that it would dwell there for some time yet. But she was beginning to mend, to pull herself together. Her disconnection had been short-lived, and for that Thane was eternally grateful.

   Searching his face she admitted, “You’re right, I know you’re right; but it still hurts.” Anya gestured to her chest, showing him where the seed of her despair was originating.

   Her heart was broken for all the batarian lives lost, and that was good. It was good that the loss of life affected her so deeply. It was good that she didn't make sacrifices with slapdash disregard for the outcome. It was evidence that she was a superlative leader, that she was bravura of a woman. Commander Anya Shepard had no equal and Thane was awestruck but the very sight of her.

   Unable to help himself Thane leaned forward. His soul was reaching out to hers, seeking their unification. As he inched ever closer to those plush reddened lips he whispered, “Let me make it stop hurting.”

   His lips touched hers then, a gentle flutter at first. Her skin was soft. He had felt her hands, caressed her face enough times to know that. But her lips . . . those plump perfect lips, they were divine. He couldn't control himself. She was too enticing. He had restrained himself too long already. He pushed his lips against hers, impatiently claiming her mouth in demonstration of how he intended to claim the rest of her. Shepard yelped with surprise before humming her approval. It was all he needed.

   Thane reclaimed his feet, carrying Anya up with him. She didn't giggle at being hoisted up like a bride. She didn't protest being handled like a flower. She simply maintained the contact of their lips, memorizing the taste of him, the feel of the depth of his feelings for her. Thane left the cloudy bathroom, the shower still running, and made his way down the few steps to her bed.

   They were dripping, soaking wet. The loft air was cold in comparison to the steamed heat of the shower. The hairs on Shepard’s arms stood on end, and Thane rubbed his hands curiously over her body. She was soft, delicate, inviting. Thane’s fingers found the hem of her drenched tank top.

   Slowly he began to peel it off of her flesh. Like a curtain, the sodden fabric revealed a masterpiece. Her skin was naturally tanned, resembling the heavily creamed coffee she so adored. His fingers explored the surface of her skin. The feel of her silk flesh against his scales was intoxicating. Thane wanted to learn every arch and plane of her body. He wanted to know how each dip and climb made her lips part, if they made her moan with appreciation.

   Her muscles were hard, steel encased by velvet. The scars on the surface of her skin did not mar her beauty, only enhanced it. She was a warrior angel. She was a goddess. And Thane needed to pay her the tribute that she deserved.

   Reluctantly parting his gaze from the lure of her golden skin he found her dilated eyes. Unable to speak past a whisper he voiced his reverence. “You are so beautiful.”

   “Thane,” she rasped. Her voice was hoarse, thick with her own desire for him. It was evident in her every movement, in the way she groaned and arched her body to meet each of his touches. Her smell was in his nose, in his ill-functioning lungs, making his mouth water.

   Tugging him closer to her body, she begged, “Please.”

   His goddess had succumbed to pleading. Returning his attention to learning her body, Thane wondered how long it would take for his Siha to stop begging and start demanding. There was so much to learn, so many places to explore, so much time to make up for. He wanted to savor her, to patiently learn which touches made her voice her approval, which places were too pleasurable for her to make a sound at all.

   Anya needed him to erase her pain, to dull her ache. Drawing out her anticipation was not the remedy. Tonight her pleas would be met with satisfaction. Later he would discover how long it took for a plea to become an order. He would relish the experience.

 

 

* * *

 

 

   Thane coughed as he was spit back into the present. His eyes burned as tears stabbed their way to freedom. Already a compilation of his sadness was pooling beneath him. His heart ached, longing for the familiar touch of a Siha that thought him lost. Where was Anya?

   Where was his love? A surge of rage had him punch the ground before a deep breath let him reclaim his usual composure. He had woken to a world of questions with no answers.

   Pushing himself back onto his feet Thane continued down his interrupted path. He needed to board a shuttle and find out where he was. Once that one question, at least, was answered he could carry on to the next. Slowly he would discover what had become of the galaxy he had thought himself dead to. Then he would find his goddess and his son, and he would give them all the time he had thought stolen from him.

 


	8. Chapter Seven

   It was over. It was finally over. Garrus watched in speechless amazement as the colossal synthetics they had been fighting for months starting dropping lifelessly around them. Emotion overtook him. His body didn’t know whether he should fall to his knees and weep or jump up and roar in exhilaration. After everything, after all the friends he watched die, all the sacrifices he had made and supported, it was over.

   There was a moment of silence, wordless realization. The soldiers stood as still as death, watching as the Reapers collapsed, lifeless, dead. They were dead, the war was won. They had won. Apprehension assaulted them all at once. Together they howled in victory. Their cries shot heavenward, reaching the ears of whichever gods they praised. The galaxy had stood together. The races had fought and died side by side. They had endured the worst kind of hell, a war waged and forgotten throughout millennia, and they had won.

   Garrus’ throat ached from the intensity of his bellow. Before he hadn’t dared hope that he would survive this, that he would get a chance to find happiness with the quarian he'd just realized he loved. But now the war was won, the fighting was over; the future was his for the taking. And they all had Shepard to thank for that.

   Eyes still pointed upward he searched for where he knew the citadel sat. His friend was up there. The savior of the galaxy. They had fought and searched all across the expanse of accessible space in search for the Catalyst. It had been right before their eyes the entire time. Later he would laugh.

   As the last of his cries escaped his lungs Garrus was brought to his knees. A new war initiated inside of him. Emotions of every which kind struck him down, each more powerful than the last. All he could do was stare up at the sky as each played to their end.

   After uncounted minutes of struggling to reclaim his equanimity Garrus was pulled onto his feet and wrapped up in a brotherly embrace. James Vega squeezed him to the breaking point. “Scars,” his voice was tight with an emotion that the entire galaxy was feeling. “It’s over.”

   “Yeah,” Garrus coughed out a laugh. If he could move his arms he would have hugged the human back. It would have been awkward and embarrassing, but living past the end of the world made people do regrettable things. “You finally got yourself some worthwhile stories to tell, eh Jimmy?”

   Vega released him with a laugh. His eyes were slick with sentiment. “All of them better than yours, Scars.”

   “And neither of ours comes close to Shepard’s stories.”

   At the mention of Shepard the Lieutenant’s expression fell. His eyes darted to the sky. Without looking at Garrus he asked, “Did you see that explosion? The one that killed the Reapers?”

   Of course he had seen it. They had all seen it. That wondrous blast of omnipotent light had ended and won the war for them all. Not understanding the sudden change in Vega’s demeanor he answered, “The whole galaxy saw the explosion, Jim.”

   “Shepard set it off,” James was hardly speaking to him, appearing to be mumbling to himself instead. There was an expression that Garrus recognized as grief in his Latin human features. “She’d have to be pretty damn close to the explosion to do that.”

   “Too close,” he was finally starting to understand what Vega was getting at. The Crucible had let out a powerful burst of Reaper destroying firepower. What collateral damage could it have done? Mandibles flapping, another emotion began to stir inside of him. Panic. “You don’t think . . . you’re not implying . . .” He couldn’t even bring himself to finish. There was absolutely no way that what Vega was saying had any substance.

   Still not meeting his gaze, James muttered, “We have to get onto the Citadel.”

   “Right,” he couldn’t argue with that, if just to prove to the human, and to himself, that Shepard was fine. She would be waiting there for them, casually leaning against a bulkhead with that smirk of hers, wondering what took them so long; the party was already over. There was just one problem. In the aftermath of the war they were left in chaos. The shaft of blue light that had brought them to London was a wreckage, destroyed alongside the Reapers. They needed to find an authority that would help them get onto the Citadel.

   “How do you suggest we do that?”

   “Click our heels together?” James suggested with a shrug. When it was evident that Garrus had absolutely no idea what the human was talking about, he sighed and shook his head. “I have no idea.”

   “Right,” he drawled out again.

   His gaze swept over the decimated city around them. The soldiers, injured but alive, were starting to come together in congratulations. The confusion would last for only a little while. Soon someone would come forward to give them all direction. And they needed to be there to volunteer to return to the Citadel and stock the damage. If they back tracked all the way to where Anderson’s base camp had been they might have been able to find someone to take charge. Or maybe that person needed to be him.

   “Follow me,” Garrus grumbled as he started towards a group of Alliance soldiers. The men noticed him as he joined their circle and recognized him a second later. After an exchange of praise, congratulations, and salutes the turian inquired, “Who is your commanding officer?”

   One of the men looked to his feet, a sadness in his eyes. “Dead, Sir, saved my life.”

   Garrus acknowledged the man’s sacrifice, and offered condolences with a nod. Onto his next question, “Who does that leave in charge?”

   “Major Coats, Sir.” The men pointed them in Coats’ direction. Garrus was glad to know the man that came with the name. He was a good soldier, a good man, if he couldn’t help them he would at least show them to someone who could.

   The Major was located in a building serving a medical facility. Cries of pain, happiness, sorrow, and disbelief leaked through the cracks and broken windows. Curtains were up, separating the patients, as doctors frantically tended to each of the wounded. They found Coats somewhere near the back of the building, speaking to an asari doctor in regards to a krogan laying unconscious on a blood soaked cot.

   “ – redundant nervous system. He should be fine. Just give him a few hours of rest and he’ll be back onto his feet in no time.” The doctor gave Coats a reassuring pat on the shoulder before moving onto her next patient.

   “Is that Grunt?” James asked, his voice alight with disbelief.

   With a chuckle Garrus confirmed the question. “Spirits, that krogan does not know how to die.”

   “No,” Major Coats agreed with a nod. Glancing back to where Grunt was sleeping he finished, “no he doesn’t. The lizard took an entire platoon of husks to the face and just laughed them off.” Returning his attention to the turian and human before him, a smirk formed on his lips. “Congratulations, boys, you just survived all nine circles of hell.” After giving them both a firm hand shake he wondered, “What can I do for you men?”

   “We need to get onto the Citadel ASAP. Someone needs to account for all possible damage.”

   “Someone is,” The Major informed them. Waving for them to follow him out of the crumbling medical crevice they made their way outside. With a quick glance over his shoulder to where Garrus was following him Coats continued with his explanation. “The Council has made contact. For the most part the Citadel is intact, and a majority of the population survived. There’s a section though that was blown to bloody pieces. It was where that blast shot out from, the barrel of the gun if you will.”

   Garrus sighed with relief. That was good. The Citadel was still in one piece. The lives there were mostly accounted for. It was something to celebrate. They still needed to find a way onto the space station. “That’s good to hear, Major.” Giving James a sidelong glance he said, “But Commander Shepard set off that explosion. We need to find her.”

   Major Coats nodded his understanding. They kept walking through groups of celebrating soldiers, past fiery Mako’s, around fallen buildings until they were approaching a tent that was the designated comm. station. Turning to face his pursuers he stated, “A search party is being put together as we speak. You both are free to join them if you wish. Unfortunately I will not be accompanying you. There’s an entire bloody planet to rebuild.”

   “Duty calls,” Garrus voiced his sympathy. Turning to James he waited for the Lieutenant to gesture his agreement before they set out for the shuttle that would take them to the Citadel.

   As they started towards the landing zone Coats shouted after them, “If you see Anderson tell him that I’m naming my first child after him.”

   “Tell him yourself,” Garrus replied with a laugh. He and James climbed onto the shuttle along with a handful of other people, a few from each race eager yet reluctant to see what was awaiting them on the Citadel.

   It was a short trip and they were directed to land right in the middle of ground zero. The shuttle door opened to reveal an expanse of devastation. It was a sight no worse than what could be found on the entire planet below. Maybe later Garrus would laugh at the fact that even amidst the war of the ages the Citadel made it out mostly unscathed. Now though, now he had a friend to find somewhere in all this rubble.

   “ _Deus_ ,” James muttered from beside them. “I don’t think –“

   “We’ll find her, Jimmy.” They had to find her. Garrus had lost too many friends in this damned war. He refused to count Shepard among them. Looking over his shoulder to where the Lieutenant stared wide eyed at the enormity of the destruction, Garrus said, “Come on,” and joined the rest of the search party.

   He didn’t know what he had been expecting while aboard the shuttle to the Citadel. Maybe that as soon as he disembarked he’d come across Shepard, comfortably propped up on a fallen over wall, inquiring if they intended to help her or if she was going to fix the whole goddamn Citadel herself. Whatever his expectations had been, they hadn’t been met. The search party had rummaged around the ruble for hours.

   There were plenty of bodies, dead souls that were shot up into the Citadel through the blue beam. They sifted through the corpses for just as many hours. With every moment that passed the worse Garrus felt. The destruction around them was immense. If Shepard had survived the explosion she would have been in bad shape. She would need immediate medical assistance. While they were dilly-dallying sorting through those who couldn’t be saved Shepard was dying. If she wasn’t dead already.

   More hours passed, a conversation-less passage of time as Garrus and James became more and more desperate to find their Commander and friend. When the search party coordinator forced them to take a break and rehydrate, it was with much protest from the two Normandy soldiers. They didn’t want to stop the search until they had found who they were looking for.

   Disappointment was met with devastation. At the end of the day they hadn’t found Shepard. They had found another friend. Anderson’s body was pulled out of the rubble. A gunshot wound to the gut among other both pre and postmortem injuries. James’ tears had fallen openly at the sight of the Admiral being hefted out to where the rest of the bodies where organized.

   Not too far from where they had unburied Anderson someone had stumbled upon the Illusive Man. Garrus had never met the human, had only seen his image before Shepard had blown the Collector ship to pieces. The man had changed in that time, obviously indoctrinated by the Reapers, just as Saren had been. His cracked skin was giving way to synthetic wiring. He had a gunshot wound on the side of his head, an apparent suicide. For a moment Garrus wondered how many bad guys the woman could talk into killing themselves.

   It was how their day had concluded. The Council had gifted them, and many other soldiers, with temporary apartments overlooking the presidium. Garrus entered the fully furnished home that wasn’t his and set out to find a shower. He needed to get out of his filthy armor. From fringe to feet he was caked in a grime he doubted that a lifetime of bathing could cleanse. He would stink until the end of his days.

   Bathed and in fresh clothing Garrus stepped into the kitchen to find a familiar face waiting for him at the dining room table.

   “Kasumi,” the surprise in his voice masked the joy he felt to see her. Though, he shouldn’t have been surprised, the crafty little human could sneak her way anywhere. This apartment that wasn’t his would have been nothing for her to break into. If Garrus was going to live here long he was going to have to put up some sort of security, a form of fortification should someone less friendly than Kasumi decide to break in.

   “In the flesh,” she slid off the table and strode to where he stood. Wrapping her arms around his neck she breathed, “It’s good to see you alive, Gare-Bear.”

   “You too,” he released her from his embrace and took a step back. Shepard called him Gare-Bear when she was feeling especially malicious. Kasumi adopted the pet name to use in casual conversation. Should she have been anyone else he would have asked her to stop. Turning towards the refrigerator Garrus started his search for food. “Can I get you anything to eat or drink?”

   “Nah, I don’t think these pre-furnished digs even come with stocked refrigerators.” Throwing herself up onto the countertop beside him she said, “I heard that you found Admiral Anderson today.”

   “Yeah.” Kasumi was right. There was nothing in the refrigerator or in the cabinets. It was a shame, too, because Garrus was starving. Returning his attention to the dainty human sitting cross legged on the counter-top he continued, “The man died a damned hero.”

   The thief just nodded in response. “You knew him well?”

   “No,” he shook his head. “Shepard was his XO on the first Normandy. The ship was already hers by the time she recruited me. I’ve met him on a few separate occasions. He was a good man and a great soldier. I just wish he could have lived long enough to see the war won.”

   Kasumi breathed out a somber sigh before the usual smirk could return to her lips. Swiftly changing the subject she said, “A few other friends of ours are on the Citadel. How about we get together for drinks?”

   He didn’t need to stop and consider for long. The apartment wasn’t his. There was no food to be found. And he was eager to find out which of his friends he could count among the living. “Sounds good, I could really use a stiff drink right about now.”

   “I bet.” Kasumi leaped off of the counter and landed gracefully on her feat. Before they made their way to the door she grabbed him by the arm and looked into his tired eyes. “We’ll find her,” her tone had such conviction he almost felt terrible for having his reservations. “Shep’s tough. She won’t go down without a fight.”

   “You’re right.” He needed to continue believing that. It was too soon for him to give up on his friend. “We’ll find her.”

   They made their way to some dive bar to meet up with the old friends. Garrus was pleased to learn that Jacob, Miranda, Dr. Michel, and Kolyat were all safe and alive. When James arrived introductions were made and they all headed to Purgatory for some much needed drinking. Surprisingly, Aria T’Loak was more than accommodating to the veterans. Their drinks were paid for and she had a VIP section reserved for them.  She may have hated her stay on the Citadel, but her sway on the space station had few limits.

   Garrus felt a little guilty enjoying the reunion. Shepard should have been there. It should have been her dancing on the bar, making a fool of herself. He needed to be out there. Searching for his friend so that he could by her that drink he’d promised her. By the halfhearted laughs and weary eyes it was easy to discern that he wasn’t the only one feeling that way.

   They called it a night early. The next morning they would all be on the search team. They needed to find Shepard. With each passing hour her life expectancy was dramatically dropping.

   The night had been a sleepless one. Until he found Shepard, dead or alive, he knew he would be having many restless nights. Vega was standing outside his door when he pulled it open. Garrus almost ran into him head first as he exited his temporary living arrangements.

   “Vega,” Garrus exhaled his surprise and shook his head as he locked the door behind him. “How’d you sleep?”

   “Didn’t,” he shrugged offhandedly as they headed for the rapid transit terminal. “Couldn’t; We’re going to find her today, Garrus. I can feel it.”

   Garrus could only hope. If they didn’t find her alive today, he didn’t know if finding her alive was going to be an option for much longer. Not giving voice to his pessimistic thoughts he agreed, “We damn well better. I’m getting tired of babysitting you.”

   “Don’t act like you don’t love it, Scars.”

   Love was a strong word. But on some level it was true. Garrus had formed a kind of kinship with Lieutenant Vega. The man was young and hard headed. But he was also fiercely loyal and had a good heart. Tease him if he would, but Garrus cared for the human as he would a brother. Babysitting Jimmy wasn’t the worst task in the entirety of the galaxy.

   They met up with the others at the volunteer search party shuttle bay. It was a quiet ride over to ground zero. Suspense in finding Shepard made each and every one of them relapse to their natural introverted deportment. Garrus fidgeted in his seat, trying to find a comfortable position that would allow him to lean back and also accommodate his fringe. With a sigh he gave up, bent forward and steepled his talons.

   Nervousness was bubbling inside of him, had been since they discovered Shepard was MIA. Search and rescue teams had been working around the clock to find survivors and recover bodies. No one had found Shepard. He wondered if they would. Maybe the explosion had catapulted her straight out into space. Spaced again, like dying that way once wasn’t enough. Shaking the morose thoughts from his mind he tried to catch some of James’ gut born optimism. Today was the day. It had to be the day.

   They stepped off of the shuttle and immediately set out to work, separating to the different teams where their skills would be better used. Dr. Michel reported to the medical tent. They hadn’t pulled anyone out that wasn’t already dead. But sharp and unstable debris could do some nasty damage if they weren’t careful. In silence Garrus made his way into the wreckage yet again.

   Hours passed. His arms were starting to ache from repeatedly rearranging mountains of rubble. His eyes were getting sore from seeing the same ashy grey color, blackened by smoke or reddened by blood. When the coordinator appeared, instructing him to take a water break, Garrus scared her off with a glare. Today there would be no breaks. His mind unwittingly wandered to the thought that Shepard might already be dead, though it wasn’t of his own concurrence. Garrus figured that he was just preparing himself emotionally should the worst come into effect.

   With an aggravated exhale the turian was half-inclined to stomp his way back to the shuttle and call it a night. Hours had dragged by. The day was gone. And still they had found nothing. He had nothing to show for himself. Not Shepard, not even a clue as to where she would be. He had failed her, again. He had failed her the first time she died by not searching for her. And he failed again this time by not finding her.

   What kind of friend was he? What kind of person leaves his friends to their deaths? Garrus glared up at the destroyed structure. His anger in himself and in the universe reddened his vision. He owed everything to Shepard, everything he was, everything he could ever be. It was because she had taken him as a friend and as a brother.

   A howl shot through him, unable to be contained any longer. Rage possessed him body and mind. Without thought he lifted a hunk of debris and threw it, followed by another, then another. His roars were disturbing the somber quiet that claimed the ruins. Members of the search party made moves to come to him but were stopped by Vega, who held up a hand in gesture to let him have this moment.

   Garrus fell to his knees. Hunched over he breathed heavily as he tried to reclaim his body from the fury that had overtaken him. After several moments passed he dared to reopen his eyes. Rubbing the plates of his brow he exhaled the last of his ire. Anger would not help him. As his gaze drifted over his dark surroundings something caught his notice.

   Back straightening to attention he tilted his head as he tried to catch a better look. Some distance away, in a heap of wreckage, was a dusted over red stripe. Struggling onto his feet Garrus mumbled, “Vega.” As he hesitantly paced closer he recognized the shoulder guard, the scuffed and charred pieces of armor that blended almost perfectly with the ruined environment. “Vega!” he shouted as his steps turned into a sprint. “Get help!”

   Garrus fell to his knees and started digging through the rubble. He tossed aside heaps of detritus, immediately identifying the N7 logo etched into a breastplate that was barely moving. “Shepard,” talons burrowing under her body and pulling her free from the wreckage, Shepard’s head, heavy with helmet, fell back. Careful to support her neck Garrus shouted for someone to help him. He’d found her. He’d finally found her. Alive? He couldn’t feel her breathing, but she had to be alive. He didn’t find her now only to lose her to death. Spirits, she had to be alive.

   The medical team was at his side in seconds, gently relieving him of his commander. Someone scanned her vitals and announced that she was alive, if just barely. Barely didn’t matter. Alive mattered. Setting her body onto a stretcher they hurried to the emergency shuttle, Garrus and the others hot on their heels. Dr. Michel waved the medics on board then turned to face Shepard’s team. They stood, dancing with anxiety. The shuttle needed to leave immediately if Shepard had any hope of surviving the transport.

   “I can only bring two of you.”

   “I’m going.” There wasn’t going to be a debate. Garrus was going, no if’s, and’s, or but’s.

   Miranda stepped toward the shuttle explaining, “I rebuilt the Commander from the ground up. I damn well better go,” as she climbed aboard the vessel.

   “Everyone else will have to meet us there.” The door shut behind her as Dr. Michel entered the emergency shuttle. She knelt beside the Commander and, with deft and gentle fingers, began to remove Shepard’s helmet. It had protected her from the worst of the explosion, though some cuts and bruises still marred the pale and bloody canvas of her face. Shepard was normally a few shades lighter than Vega. Pale as death was not a color that Garrus was keen to seeing on her.

   As Dr. Michel started peeling off the layers of armor a gasp vacuumed into Shepard’s lungs. Her eyes ripped open, green irises frantically searching her surroundings. There was a look of horror in the Commander’s expression, a look of a woman who thought herself awoken in a hell she had assumed she’d destroyed. She was panicking.

   Garrus moved into her line of sight. Gingerly taking one of her hands into his talons he assured her, “You did it, Shepard. You killed the Reapers. We won.” Glancing up to meet Miranda’s concerned gaze for a moment he added, “We’re going to fix you up, Shepard. You’re going to spend every last royalty this war has won you.”

   “Heart rate is accelerated,” one of the medics alerted them, “will need sedatives to stabilize patient.”

   The panic in her wide eyes multiplied. Her cracked and bloodied lips parted and a dry breath exhaled without sound. Her horrified expression was heart shattering. Why was she so afraid? The Reapers were dead. She was safe. Swallowing past her dry throat she tried again. Garrus leaned closer so that his translator would catch the whispered words.

   “Let me die,” she breathed out, eyes closing, maybe forever.

   “We’re losing her,” a salarian doctor pushed Garrus aside and took his place.

   Let her die? Just like that, just turn his gaze and let her die. She wanted him, her closest friend, to let her sleep to never reawaken. Garrus blinked, shocked into place by her outrageous request.

   The medic team worked with Miranda, frenzied as they tried to stabilize the Commander. Shepard almost got her wish. She died twice on the way to Huerta and once more upon arrival. Each time they had brought her back, determined to keep her among the living, where she belonged. They wouldn’t let her die. How could she ask that of him?

   Settling down into the uncomfortable seats that lined the waiting room, the turian buried his face in his hands and breathed. The labor spent digging through the rubble in search of his friend had been an emotionally tasking experience. Even it hadn’t reached the feet of the sentimental exhaustion he was feeling now.

   He'd been under the impression that Shepard was unhappy for some time now; but it had never been outright suicidal. Her distant and morose behavior gave him pause only once before. And at the time he had dismissed it as the effects of the war taking its toll. He should have been paying closer attention.

 

* * *

 

 

   “My shields are down!” shouted Shepard, her voice out of breath.

   With a gruff exhale Garrus glared over to where she had been forced into cover. Of course her shields were down. The woman was pushing it, even for her. From the beginning she had always had a battle lust that could rival a krogan. She dove headfirst into battle grinning and laughing as she dragged them to victory. That was just how Shepard was wired. But something was different now.

   She didn’t return his banter with her typical mirth. She was sardonic, curt, joked without laughter. She no longer gave him that predatory simper before slipping under her tactical cloak. When she sniped it was with a cruelty that hadn’t been there before; deaths drawn out and suffering prolonged, especially if her targets were Cerberus.

   To say that she was acting strangely would have been a vast understatement. The angry and bitter woman that wore the Commander’s skin was not the Shepard he had served with for over three years. He didn’t know the woman that now led them thoughtlessly into battle.

   “Of course your shields are down.” His tone was patronizing. He couldn’t help it. If she was going to act like a dull-witted recruit he was going to treat her like one. “You’re an infiltrator, Shepard, not a Commando.”

   Shepard never led them into battle head on. It wasn’t her style, not her forte. She set her heavy hitter at point then she and Garrus, or whoever else she brought along, would flank their targets. They thinned out their opponents that way, forced them into a tight circle. It was “Shooting fish in a barrel”. Now she was going toe to toe with forces she had to be smarter than, not stronger than. This could have been an easy fight. They could have already been done with this. But now they were deadlocked with Reaper forces that they shouldn’t have been facing head on.

   Shepard didn’t respond. Instead she disappeared behind her tactical cloak. Shaking his head, Garrus did his best to keep the attention on him and James. The last thing he needed was for Shepard to get shot because of her own bad call. When she reappeared it was behind a  Marauder, her pistol at the back of his head.

   Before Garrus could blink the Reaper was missing a face and falling lifelessly at Shepard’s feet. She wouldn’t be able to use her tactical cloak again for at least twelve seconds. She was standing in the middle of a handful of Marauders and Cannibals with no quick way out.

   “What the hell is she thinking?” James shouted as he gave the Commander cover fire.

   Shaking his head again, Garrus moved forward, weaving his way closer to where Shepard was engaged in close range combat. Answering James’ question he yelled, “She’s not,” before sniping a Cannibal in the top right eye. Another took its place only to also be shot down.

   Her tactical cloak was working by now, but Shepard hadn’t activated it yet. She was dancing around gunfire, running to and from cover as she recklessly occupied her opponents in a close range firefight. Garrus growled in frustration. He had had enough of her behavior. Her grace and speed would help her for only so long. She was too close to her adversaries. Her shields were weakened. A shot that proximity would blow right through them, and might actually kill her.

   James was beside Garrus in a second, grumbling, “She’s fucking crazy,” before rolling into cover a little closer and blowing their enemy to bits.

   Insane was more like it. She was, what was the human saying, losing her marbles? After a few more tense, gunfire filled minutes the battle was over. Shepard rejoined her team with a laugh, the forced one she used when she knew she had done something wrong.

   “That was fun,” she said as she slapped James on the shoulder. “Wasn’t it Lieutenant?”

   “If by fun you mean completely insane, then yeah. I guess it was fun.”

   “See,” her attention turned to Garrus, the one who was going to be the adult here and give her a much needed scolding. “James thought it was fun.”

   Vega shook his head, and Garrus’ glare narrowed on his human leader. “It was not fun, Shepard. It was stupid and reckless. What’s gotten into you?”

   His stare was pulled up past her shoulder by a movement. He only half noticed her shrugging her shoulders as a Ravager crept around the corner, a laser already pointed at the woman standing in front of him. Just as he was about to shove the Commander out of the way, a fire shot out. His vision slowed down as the world sped up.

   Shepard was thrown into his arms by the force of the impact. As his arms wrapped around her James lifted his semi-automatic and repeatedly shot the Ravager in the optical lens, gunning the misshapen Rachni down until all that was left was a handful of Swarmers. Just like that it was over, again. That was the last of the Reaper forces that they’d have to deal with. At least for now.

   Setting her down, propped up against a thrown over pillar, Garrus kneeled beside Shepard. When he saw that the only injury she had sustained was a through and through in the shoulder, he let out a relieved sigh. Now he could yell at her without fearing that she wouldn’t live to hear the end of it. She still wouldn’t live to hear the end of it, but now she would have suffer his grievances for a longer span of time.

   “Son of a bitch,” She grumbled, bashing her helmet into the pillar to distract herself from the pain.

   Lifting a brow plate Garrus assured her, “It’s not that bad.” When she glared at him he added. “You’ll live. Now get your ass up, we're heading back to the Normandy.”

   “Yes Sir,” Shepard griped as he pulled her back onto her feet. Her glare turned to James only long enough to see him shrug before it returned to Garrus. “And here I was under the impression that I was the Commander.” They started towards the landing zone, Shepard dragging her ass, knowing the crap she’d catch from Chakwas for her carelessness.

   “I was under that same impression,” Garrus replied. Returning her glare with one of his own he rebuked, “I was also expecting you to act like one.”

   “Screw you Vakarian.”

   It was the last they spoke to each other as they stepped into the shuttle and returned to the Normandy. He had said enough for the moment. They needed to get her to Med Bay and get her patched up before he could let loose on her like he wanted to.

   When the shuttle door opened Shepard was the first one out, hoping to flee from Garrus and recluse for the rest of the evening. It was too bad for her that she was shit out of luck. As he stepped out the shuttle after her Cortez chirped, “Go easy on her, Garrus.”

   “And why would he do that, Estaban?” wondered Vega, wandering off of the shuttle ahead of the shuttle pilot. “You didn’t see her out there.” Shouting after Garrus, he exclaimed, “Let her have it, Scars. Set that woman straight.”

   “You don’t know what’s going on with her, James.”

   “Oh, and you do?”

   “I have an idea.”

   Garrus didn’t linger to hear the rest of it. Whatever they thought was going on with Shepard was just speculation until she cleared up the air and let someone in. She was his friend, his best friend. Garrus wanted to help her through what was troubling her. He wanted to be there for her when she needed him. But in order to do that she needed to talk to him.

   The doors to Med Bay opened just as Shepard was saying, “It was nothing, Doc. Just patch me up and get me out of here.”

   “I would hardly call this nothing, Commander.” Chakwas reproved as she helped Shepard out of her armor.

   “It’s _not_ nothing,” he commented, approaching the two human females. “Don’t let her tell you otherwise.”

   “Not now, Garrus.” Shepard was trying to dismiss him. But the halfhearted attempt was evidence enough that she didn’t truly expect him to just go away.

   “No, now is the perfect time.” Karin set the Commander’s armor aside and set out with her medical supplies to clean and care for the wound. Addressing Garrus without turning her gaze to him, she asked, “Care to tell me why you’re returning the Commander to me in this unsightly condition.”

   “Not my fault, Chakwas.” He raised his talons in self defense. “Shepard thought that she could face a dozen Marauders in a fist fight.”

   “And I did.” Shepard censured, her expression darkened by her disapproval. “It wasn’t the Marauders or Cannibals that did this to me.”

   “No, it wasn’t,” he agreed. “It was your slipshod and irresponsible attitude.”

   “Save it, Garrus.”

   “For when, Shepard?” Not meaning to raise his voice, he returned his tone to an acceptable decibel. “Save it for when you’ve walked into your last bullet? If we don’t do this now you’re going to keep dismissing me until it’s too late.”

   “Don’t exaggerate. It wasn’t that bad and you know it.”

   “I know nothing of the sort.” With an incredulous scoff he insisted, “You were reckless. You have been for weeks now. It’s dangerous. Not only could you get yourself killed but you could get anyone of your teammates killed too. Is that what you want, Shepard?” She didn’t reply, only tensed her jaw and threw her gaze elsewhere.

   Frustrated by her apparent apathy, he growled, “This isn’t you. This has never been you. How hard do you have to push yourself before you realize that you’re cutting it too close? Does one of us have to die before you pull your shit together?”

   “No one is going to die, Garrus.” Her reply was whispered, feeble.

   Shaking his head again, he said, “Tell that to Mordin, to Legion.”

   “They weren’t my fault,” she roared, her fist punching the examination table she was seated on. Her daggered eyes stabbed into Garrus.

   He hated that he had to be the one to have this conversation with her. He hated that he had to be the one call her out. If he survived this, Tali, Kaidan, and Liara were going to owe him big time.

   “No they weren’t,” he agreed with her. It had been a low blow to bring them up, he knew it. But he needed to get her attention. He needed to make her see reason. “But we’re losing a lot of friends to this war. Your actions shouldn’t be the reason we lose any more.”

   “I think that’s enough for now, Vakarian.” Chakwas’ tone was cautious. When she spoke to the Commander again it was in a gentle voice. “Luckily for you the injury is just an ugly one. The damage wasn’t too bad. You should have full functionality of your arm, without pain or long term effects, in a few days. Can I trust you to keep that injured wing in a sling?”

   She shook her head, a disingenuous smirk on her lips, “Probably not.”

   “Make that a definite yes and I’ll let you leave without any invasive procedures.”

   “We’ll see, Doc.”

   Sighing, the Doctor turned to Garrus. She nodded, giving him the go ahead, “I’ll give you both a moment.”

   As Chakwas left the Med Bay, Shepard muttered, “Traitor.”

   With a breath Garrus crossed his arms over his chest. He had already said his part. What he needed was for Shepard to say hers. Something was terribly wrong with her and she was holding it in. That was why she was acting irresponsibly. That was why she was distancing herself from everyone. And Garrus needed to know how he could help, even if it was just by listening.

   “Well?”

   “Well what?”

   Oh no, they were not going to dance around this. “That was an easy assignment, Shepard. It shouldn’t have turned out this way.”

   “It was a useless assignment,” she grumbled. Garrus wasn’t about to interrupt. She was going to give him exactly what he wanted. She was going to open up and it was going to be ugly, but it needed to be done.

   “We’re in the middle of a fucking war and everyone is sending me on bullshit assignments when there are better things that I could be doing. Just once I’d like to get someone’s help without having to bend over backwards for them. Just once I’d like to not have to fix the whole goddamn galaxy’s problems. I’m a soldier, not a baby sitter. What do all these people want from me? Would they like me to wipe their collective asses the next time they all take a shit too? Maybe get them a nice warm glass of milk to wash down the cookies before I put them down for a nap?”

   Knowing he shouldn’t interrupt, he did so anyway. “They want you to help them because they don’t know how to help themselves.”

   “How about they help _me_ for a change?” She punched the table again. Her watery eyes finally leaked, a single tear running down her cheek. “You brought up Mordin and Legion before.”

   “I know.” He shifted his feet. “I shouldn’t have.”

   Ignoring his words she said, “But you forgot Thane. Thane died because of this war too. He died because I couldn’t save him. And you and everyone else keep on like it never happened, like he never existed in the first place. I fucking loved him, Garrus. He was everything to me. He died, and no one acknowledges that at all. Not you, not Tali, not even Joker acknowledges the loss of him. You have no idea what it has been like for me. You can't begin to understand how waking up in the morning is a chore, because a galaxy without him isn’t a galaxy worth saving.”

   She huffed, more of her tears falling. This is what he had wanted. He had wanted her to let it all out. Garrus should have prepared himself for this. How could he prepare himself for this level of raw anger and suffering?

   “You want to know why I’ve been pushing it so hard lately?” He was hesitant to respond, and her rage doubled. “Well do you?”

   Garrus nodded for her to go on.

   “It’s because I want to see how far I can push it before death finally comes for me.” She said it with a sinister smile, a shine in her eye that was too dark for a face like hers. “I miss him so much. All I want is to be with Thane again. All I want is to be in his arms one more time. And as long as I’m alive that will never happen. So there it is.” Digging the heels of her palms into her seeping eyes she croaked, “I just want all this bullshit to be over so that I can finally see the sea.”

   He didn’t know what to say. That was a lot to take in. Shepard was a strong woman, and that strength was costing her. She needed this, needed to let it all out. Garrus strode to where she was seated and wrapped her up in a brotherly embrace.

   She was right. He and the others had seemingly overlooked the tragedy of Thane’s death. It wasn’t because they didn’t care. Because they did. All of them knew how much the drell meant to her. Garrus honestly didn’t know why he hadn’t at least voiced his sympathies, why he hadn’t offered her his condolences. It was wrong of him. He should have been there for her. He should have been a better friend.

   Rocking her gently he whispered, “I’m sorry, Shepard. I’m so sorry.” _For everything_.

   She cried for a little while longer before pulling herself together and pushing him away. Sliding off of the table she wiped her eyes dry and straightened her back. Offering Garrus a desultory smile, she said, “Thank you for listening, Gare-Bear.”

   “Any time, Shepard.”

   With an uncommitted nod she walked past him, probably heading for the elevator that would take her to her cabin. She needed some time alone, as did he. Leaving the Med bay behind he walked towards the main battery. Shepard would get over this. At the end of the war she would find happiness, maybe visit an ocean and relax in front of the sea she had mentioned.


	9. Chapter Eight

 

Unfamiliar warmth seeped into her skin. The debris from an unforgiving war zone was replaced by an array of blues. Sky met sea with a kiss in the distant horizon. Between her toes the sand was warm, moistened by the lulling tidal waters. The vision of paradise before her exceeded everything she had dreamed.

 

Anya gazed down at her bare feet, a contented smile on her lips. _I made it_. Her grin grew as laughter bubbled from her core and spilled past her smile. She had finally made it. Overcome with such overpowering joy she spun until she was too dizzy to stand. A vision of blue surrounded her. Between the sky and the sea nothing else existed. Gravity pulled her onto her ass, the sand doing little to cushion her landing, while happy tears blurred her vision before sliding down her cheeks.

 

After everything she had been through, everything she had fought for, she had finally made it. Peace was hers, at last.Throwing herself onto her back, Anya allowed the warmth of the sun to caress her flesh. A sigh decompressed her chest. Relief and peace resonated within her, two emotions that had once been so fleeting.

 

“ _Anya_.”

 

Her eyes snapped open. Pulling herself up onto an elbow, Shepard stretched a hand forward to shield her eyes against the harsh light that slanted across the beach. _Wait, where’d the light come from?_ Uncertainty sprouted in her chest.

 

“Thane?” No, not Thane; that voice was distinctly female.

 

The too bright light masked the silhouette in front of it. Even squinting, Anya couldn’t identify who was speaking.She was definitely not hanar, volus, or elcor. Her legs were long, her  curves were distinguishable through the light, making her seem humanoid, but was she human? Asari? Drell?

 

“ _Sweet Child_.” Her voice was gentle, a sweet melodic sound. It was like listening to the cosmos; a vast, beautiful, unimaginable harmony of life, death and understanding. “ _The sea has brought you to me too soon._ ”

 

Uncertainty spread through her veins as Anya stood to face the entity in front of her. It wasn’t too soon. The timing was perfect. This was where she belonged.

 

“No. I’m where I need to be.”

 

Even though she couldn’t see the woman’s face, Anya could feel her smiling. It was as if the world around her, wherever she was, was a projection of this woman, this entity, and her emotions.

 

“ _You are still needed._ ”

 

“No!” Anya’s tone was caught between desperate and terrified. Panic ran thick through her body until she couldn’t breathe. She was tired of being needed. She was tired of the expectations and the life and death decisions. She was tired of living. Peace had been hers, the taste new and wonderful. “I need to stay here. I need to be with Thane. I need –“

 

“ _This shore will be here when your task is complete._ ”

 

Shepard had already completed her task. What more was there? A scream threatened to claw past her grinding teeth. How cruel it was to be given a taste of perfection only to have it snatched away as soon as it was embraced.

 

“Don’t do this.” Falling to her knees, she begged, “Please don’t send me back.”

 

“ _Hush, child_.” The skies darkened to black. All around her, the sands and sea slipped away. Her serenity was collapsing, becoming no more. She couldn’t even remember what it had looked like a moment before.

 

“No!” Shepard screamed into the darkness. “No!”

 

“Nurse, the sedatives,” a voice struggled to be heard over her. “Hold her down.”

 

“No!” The shore was replaced by a hospital room, blurry behind a film of confusion. Anya struggled against the nurse restraining her. Bucking and screaming, she tried to free herself from the tubes and wires keeping her on this side of the sea.

 

“Just let me die!” Tears streamed down her face as she violently thrashed  from side to side. “I just want to die!”

 

Emerging from the side of her vision a familiar figure stepped into her line of sight. Anya immediately recognized her immaculate hair, her perfectly shaped eyebrows, her flawless crème skin and too gorgeous features. Miranda was going to rebuild her again. She was going to force her to live when all she wanted was to die. Hatred ignited from the embers. The Cerberus agent was going to make her live.

 

“Shepard, please.” She placed a soothing hand on Anya’s shoulder, firm but affable. “You’ll reopen your stitches.”

 

“Don’t touch me!” Anya hissed at the too beautiful witch beside her. With a feral snarl she redoubled her efforts to be free. They could not make her do this. They could not force her to live a life she didn’t want.

 

“Why? Why can’t you just let me die? You Cerberus bitch! Just let me die!”

 

Anya’s struggles slowed as the sedatives took effect and the world began to recede into darkness. Shepard sank into unconsciousness, banished into a dreamless sleep.

 

Time was irrelevant, a day could have passed just as easily as an hour. It was all the same to her. When Anya began to stir she didn’t know how long it had been. Had she lost another two years? What did it matter anyway? She didn’t want to wake from the darkness.

 

“Anya?” A familiar voice murmured her name, gently prodding her from her restless slumber. “Get the doctor, dear. I think she’s waking up.”

 

“Yes, Admiral,” replied another voice she knew well.

 

A hand was placed on the side of her face, long fingers tenderly tucking her hair behind her ear. Anya’s eyelids were too heavy to force open. She swallowed, trying to moisten  her dry mouth.

 

“Mom?” She coughed.

 

“Oh, honey.” The endearing coo was answer enough. “I was so worried.”

 

“What –“ Shepard peeled her lids apart only to slam them shut again, sheltering her sensitive eyes from the light streaming through the open window. Blinking until her eyes adjusted, she asked, “Where am I?”

 

“Huerta Memorial Hospital,” answered a mousy woman as she entered the room. Glancing quickly at the data pad in her hand, her blue green eyes landed on Anya. A friendly grin pulled at  the corners of her lips. “I’m Doctor Michel, lest you forgot. You underwent extensive surgery, and have been resting for the past three days.”

 

Doctor Michel. Anya remembered her. She was the one with a crush on Garrus. Blinking, Shepard tried to clear her vision. A fog surrounded her, dulling everything. She was wading through a mist with no end in sight. Slowly shaking her head she muttered, “What’s wrong with me?”

 

Trying to bring a hand to her face and rub her eyes, she couldn’t move her arms. Eyes falling to her wrists, Anya noticed that she was secured by cuffs to the sides of the bed. “What’s going on?”

 

She figured the drowsiness wasn’t unusual. But were the restraints really necessary? Did she really care? Anya couldn’t bring herself to find concern for being cuffed like a criminal. She didn’t even care if Dr. Michel answered her questions. All she knew was that she was alive, and that was the last thing she wanted to be.

 

The doctor stood at the foot of Anya’s bed, watching her with a clinical eye as she intermittently focused on Shepard and the data pad in her hand. “Though your surgeries went well, you are not out of the woods, yet. Any wrong moves on your part and you can undo all of the hard work that our surgeons so painstakingly put into piecing you back together. And then we’d lose you for good.” Eyeing the cuffs around Anya’s wrists, she explained, “When you were last awake you did a bit of damage to my medical team. You broke an medical technician’s nose and scratched a few others to ribbons. You were more dead than alive and you had enough fight to throw down another Reaper.”

 

Words, so many words. If she wanted to lie to herself Anya would have admitted to only paying partial attention. But honestly she hadn’t been paying any. The noises that Dr. Michel had been making were getting lost in the fog smothering Shepard’s brain. She couldn’t complete a thought, formulate an opinion, or muster the will to feel. All she could recognize was that her mouth was dry, the light was too bright, and the familiar vanilla scent of her mother’s perfume was making her nose itch.

 

“You are unstable, physically, emotionally, and mentally. The restraints are to protect you and the staff. They will remain until I can trust you to not reopen all of your wounds. Until then we will be keeping a very careful eye on you.”

 

“Thank you, Doctor Michel,” Admiral Hannah Shepard said to the young woman standing at the foot of her daughter’s hospital bed. Hand reaching for Anya’s she gave her fingers a tight squeeze before saying, “I’d like to have moment with my daughter now that she is awake.”

 

“Of course, Admiral,” the doctor acknowledged her dismissal with a nod. Meeting Shepard’s gaze one last time she let a smile bend the corners of her mouth, a friendly farewell for now. “I will be right outside if you need anything else.”

 

Hannah offered her a smile as thanks before directing all of her attention to Anya. Fussing over her in a way only a mother could, Hannah rearranged Shepard’s hair. The slight upturn of her lips was poignant as she gazed at her daughter. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

 

“Thirsty.” Uncomfortably so. And there was a dull ache, a muted pain that resounded throughout her entire body. But her mind was too groggy to focus on the discomfort, or to acknowledge it as pain. Whatever drugs she was swimming in, they were doing a damn good job.

 

Her mother’s smile deepened for a second, “Here, sweetie.” From the side table she retrieved a glass of water. Without thinking Anya made a move to reach for the cup, but stopped short when the cuffs tightened around her wrists reminded her of her restrained state. Not missing a beat, Hannah placed the straw in front of Shepard’s lips and waited for her daughter to drink.

 

She was too dazed to be uncomfortable by her own helplessness. The drugs were making her happily oblivious to the fact that, under normal circumstances, she would have protested not only being drugged in the first place but being incapacitated as well.

 

Glass mostly empty and thirst quenched Anya released the straw from her mouth and settled her head comfortably back onto the pillow. Her eyes were feeling heavy again.

 

Consciousness was beginning to slip through her fingers, blackness beckoning her to dreamless sleep. Trying to fight the weight of her fatigue Anya mumbled, “Mom?”

 

“I’m right here, Honey.”

 

“Did I . . . do it?” Finishing a sentence was more difficult than putting one together. Anya couldn’t string a thought along from start to finish, much less voice it.

 

The emotion that took hold of Hannah Shepard vibrated the air of the room. Lowering her lips to Anya’s hand, she gave her knuckles as kiss before answering. “Yes, you did. You saved us all.”

 

“That’s . . . good.” Her task was complete then. She had done what she was meant to do. A smile began to surface on her lips, cracking the chapped skin. Letting her eyes fall shut she whispered, “Then I can . . . sleep.”

 

“Sleep, sweetheart.” Hannah combed her fingers through Anya’s hair again, unable to keep from feeling her still living daughter. “You’ve earned yourself a good rest.”

 

Shepard felt herself nod in agreement. Before turning herself over to slumber she needed just one more thing done. “Mom?”

 

“Yes, Anya?”

 

“Don’t let them . . . wake me up.”

  
Her mother didn’t reply. A stifled sob was her only response. Unable to resist any longer Anya succumbed to the lull of sleep, trusting her mother to let her find eternity.


	10. Chapter Nine

A blaring pain stabbing her sides woke her from her sleep. The groan that escaped her only made it worse. Shepard’s body was stiff, her bones aching and too heavy to move.

Blinking against the unpleasant light, Anya tried to orient herself. The fog was fading. Her mind was no longer moving at a sloth’s pace. She was still groggy, sore and unfocused, but it was a different sensation than when she was first awake.

The quiet hiss of the door opening registered in the back of Anya’s head. She had company.

“Good. You’re awake.” Dr. Michel announced her approach

Was that good? She couldn’t bring herself to agree. Mind retracing her last wakeful moment she could recall the Doctor’s visitation. Turning her gaze to Dr. Michel, Anya skipped the pleasantries. “Where’s my mother?”

“On Earth,” Dr. Michel informed her as she looked over Anya’s vitals. Satisfied with the information she found, the doctor continued, “She’s helping your father with the reconstruction effort. She promised to be back soon.”

So it hadn’t been a dream. Her mother was alive. And her dad was alive too. What about Michael and his family? Had they also survived the war?

When Anya spoke those weren’t the questions that she asked, though, “Do you always cuff your war heroes?” Shepard lifted her arms as far as they could go, drawing attention to the padded cuffs securing her to the hospital bed. “Or did you have some naughty plans for me, Doctor?” Her jibe was without humor. She didn’t find being cuffed funny. The pain in her body was placing Shepard in a surly mood.

She was supposed to be immersed in a sea of opiates and morphine, too drugged up to think or feel. And Shepard’s new found sense of emotion was making her combative. She didn’t know Dr. Michel enough to like her, and didn’t care enough to try. She wasn’t going to play polite, not for her, not for anyone.

The doctor eyed the taut manacles but did not remove them, fanning the flame of Anya’s impatience. Meeting Shepard’s frustrated gaze she replied, “I apologize for the restraints, but I assure you that they’re necessary. At least for the time being. Even though you are healing at a remarkable rate we need to be sure that you don’t undo all of the damage we’ve repaired.”

A disapproving huff escaped Anya’s nose. Her lip curled up into a snarl. “And why,” was she growling? “would I do that?” She was definitely growling. Shepard was hurting. Like an injured animal, she could only retaliate with hostility.

Dr. Michel was unaffected by Anya’s show, she answered, “You’ve survived a very traumatic experience, Commander. You’re body is healing faster than normal, but Miranda assures me that it isn’t healing at the rate it’s supposed to. Your mind isn’t ready to cope with what you’ve lived through, and that has stunted the healing process. You’ve recovered enough for us to wean you off of all the drugs. But until you’ve been examined and cleared by a psychiatrist the restraints are staying.”

The women glared at one another, each waiting for the other to back down. After a minute, Shepard conceded, looking away from the doctor. It wasn’t like she was in a good position to negotiation. This was Dr. Michel’s turf. She called the shots.

With a sigh, Anya relaxed her arms, lowering them to her sides again. It was a gesture of temporary surrender. A lifetime of military upbringing had taught her to choose her battles wisely, and a standoff with Dr. Michel was a battle she couldn’t win at the moment. It wasn’t like the woman’s orders were without merit. Anya was in a delicate state.

Since waking, there’d been only one thought in her head. Why won’t they let me die? She'd been awake for maybe fifteen minutes and all she could think of was ways to end it all. How long would it take for her to bleed out if she used that needle on herself?

Anya’s life had been fighting. Fighting through the Alliance ranks. Fighting to be recruited into the N7 program. Fighting to be the best N7. Fighting for survival during the Skyillian-Blitz. Fighting Saren. Fighting the Collectors. And finally fighting the Reapers. That was what she did. That was all she knew. Anya wasn’t built for peace. She wasn’t meant for the stillness of a galaxy without threat.

There had been only one man capable of giving her pause, a single being that made her long for serenity. And that man was dead. All Anya wanted was to join him in the afterlife. The beyond had rejected her. Life had seized her. And now she lay in a hospital bed facing life in a world where she didn’t belong with a future she didn’t want. Chatting up a shrink wouldn’t change that. But if it meant that the shackles came off, then she would fake it. She had dated Kaidan long enough to become quite good at that.

“Alright, Doctor, you win” she finally replied while closely inspecting Dr. Michel’s features for any signs of satisfaction. The doctor didn’t appear to relish her victory over the Commander, or if she did, she did a damn good job not showing it.

Finding a comfortable position for her neck Anya wondered, “What’s my prognosis?”

A smile whispered across the doctor’s lips, grateful for Shepard’s surrender. Sucking in a deep breath, the mousy woman began with her explanation, “Hopeful, considering that you should be dead.”

 _Yeah, tell me about it._ Shepard thought. At least the woman agreed with her on that.

Unaware of Anya’s thoughts, Dr. Michel went on uninterrupted. “You suffered extensive burns and lacerations as well as multiple breaks and fractures. Namely, your right leg was crushed. While the damage was repaired it cannot be reversed. You will have to undergo daily sessions of physical therapy for the foreseeable future. As for right now, walking without aide, or at all, is simply not going to happen.”

Being sucker punched right in the gut hadn’t ever left her as breathless as she was now. Anya needed her mobility. She needed to be able to run down bad guys. That was what she did. That was who she was. Keeping her gaze steadily locked with the doctor’s she dared to ask, “But I will walk again?”

“With enough physical therapy,” Dr. Michel assured her with a nod. “If Miranda is correct in her estimates – which I wouldn’t dare assume otherwise and expect to live – you should be back on your feet in a few weeks. Then, maybe a handful of months from now, you’ll be back to shooting guns and chasing down bad guys.”

“Good.” It was good, wasn’t it? If she had to live at least it wouldn’t be as an invalid; silver lining and all that nonsense. Anya could have lived without knowing the answer to her next question. But it was something she needed to know. If she didn’t ask then the doctor would tell her anyway. This way she would get the information at her request and not have it unceremoniously thrown onto her lap.

“What,” Shepard cleared her throat of her hesitation. “What was the extent of the damage?”

Dr. Michel took a moment to consider her answer before speaking, like Anya would take the information badly. She was alive. And the doctor had already told her that her healing looked promising. It wasn’t like imparting that information was going to offset everything. The mere knowledge of what she had survived wasn’t going to kill her. And if it was, then Anya wanted to know all the more.

Securing her bangs behind an ear, Dr. Michel spoke at last. “You suffered a concussion, hairline fractures on three ribs, two more ribs broken, a punctured lung, your left shoulder was shattered and had to be completely reconstructed, along with your leg. Your arms sustained extensive burns. The amount of blood you lost,” Chloe shook her head as if dismissing the thought. “A drop more and we would have lost you for good.”

Was that all that had stood between her and eternity, one drop of blood? She could give fate that drop. She could drag her cuffs across her skin until it was raw, severed, and then it could take all the drops it needed. Death didn’t have to be a prude, it could still bring her into the horizon.

Shepard fidgeted in her hospital bed, testing her shackles. They were too tight. They wouldn’t cause enough friction to eventually rub her raw. Clenching her teeth, she exhaled her frustration.

Glaring at the ceiling Anya grumbled, “That bad, huh?”.

“If Garrus hadn’t found you when he did –“ She cleared her throat, apparently the woman had a soft spot for battered soldiers. Fingers curling tightly around her data-pad, Dr. Michel’s features took a somber tone. Anya’s gut clenched at the sight of it. The last time she had seen a somber look in a doctor’s eye . . . “Commander . . . There is one more thing.”

Only one? Closing her eyes Anya waited for Dr. Michel to enlighten her.

“You were shot in the abdomen prior to the explosion that should have killed you.” She was stalling. Why was she stalling? “I don’t know the circumstances of that time. But for whatever reason you didn’t use enough medi-gel to stop the bleeding or close the wound. Since it took so long for us to find you, our options regarding treating the injury were limited.”

Why was she dragging this out? Ripping her eyes open Anya pinned Dr. Michel with her darkest glare. She didn’t like being strung along, and she didn’t have the patience to talk in circles.

“Spit it out, Doctor.” Her growl was only a decibel above inaudible, but filled the room with enough tension she may as well have screamed.

“The rounds fired at you were explosive. The initial gunshot was followed by a marginal explosion that decimated the insides of your uterus. Had you received immediate medical attention, this injury would've been repairable.. That being said, when we did find you you had already practically bled to death. We could either remove your uterus or let you die.”

‘Or let you die’ . . . let her die? It had been an option and no one had dared to even consider it? Bottom lip finding its way between her teeth Anya began to chew as she tried to hold herself together.

She had no uterus. If she had no uterus that meant she could never have a child. Starting a family without Thane had always been unthinkable, unimaginable, but now she was faced with an entire life. One day she might have been ready to go the whole nine yards and turkey baster her way into a pregnancy. She would have braved parenthood as a single mom, and she would finally have that family that she had always wanted. Without Thane it wouldn’t have been complete, but it would have been hers.

Now what did she have? Without her uterus that dream was dead. Her chance to bring something beautiful and good into the galaxy was gone. She was a soldier without a war, and a woman without a purpose. They had brought her back from the dead for what? Why couldn’t they have just let her die a hero?

Blinking back her tears, Anya shook away her emotion and turned to the only defense she had left. “I always knew that thing was going to bleed me dry.” With a cough she hoped sounded like a laugh she corrected, “I just never thought it would be in the literal sense.”

The doctor watched Anya with sympathetic eyes. “I’m sorry, Commander.”

“Me too.”

An awkward moment passed between them. Dr. Michel didn’t know what to say to alleviate Anya’s pain, and Shepard didn’t know how to clearly explain to the doctor that letting her die would have been her preference.

Dr. Michel pressed on with a sigh. “On a scale from one to ten, where would you place your current level of pain?”

Did it matter? Did anything matter? Glaring out the open window Anya muttered, “Six.”

“Commander,” Dr. Michel scolded her outright lie.

Without turning her glare  from the scenic view she answered honestly, “nine.”

“Can you tell me where the pain is the worst?”

“My chest and shoulder.” Taking a moment to consider she added, “I can’t even feel my legs.”

“That’s normal. The Catalyst explosion took out a part of the Citadel, all of which seemed to have landed on you. Your armor protected you from most of the damage, but couldn’t protect your spine from the trauma. We had to medically paralyze you, to keep you from jerking and causing more damage.” Looking over the information on her data-pad, Chloe said, “You have visitors that are itching to see you; if you’re up to it, I can send them in before we administer your medication again. What do you say?”

Was she up to it? Anya wanted to crawl into a dark hole. That was what she was up to. Did she really want people to come into her room and gape at her like some side show freak? The last thing she needed was to be seen as a feral animal.

Then again, it might do her some good to see some friendly faces. Maybe she could convince Dr. Michel to release her restraints.

“I’d like that,” the words spilled past her lips without sentiment or conviction. Looking at Dr. Michel again she continued, “But I don’t want them to see me like this.” Anya lifted her arms a little. “Can you please take these silly things off of me?”

She was shaking her head before Shepard could finish her request. “No, Commander. The restraints are staying.”

“Please, Dr. Michel, I was their commander. That’s who they want to see, not some bat-shit crazy woman on suicide watch. It’ll just be while they’re visiting, then you can cuff me again. I’ll be good.”

“My answer remains unchanged, Commander.” Turning towards the exit she shot over her shoulder as she departed, “I’ll send them in for a few minutes, then it’s nap time.”

“Lola!” Vega strode into the hospital room with a grace Anya always found surprising. The grin that covered the lower half of his face made her heart sink a little. He admired the hero he thought her to be, but now the woman he had followed so valiantly was reduced to nothing.. Garrus, Kasumi, Miranda, and Jacob followed suit, crowding the room that had been too small to begin with.

The smile fell from James’ face as his eyes landed on the leather cuffs that jailed her to the bed. “You into bondage, Lola? I didn’t know that this was that kind of hospital.” Turning towards the still open door he shouted, “Hey, Doctor, what’s a man gotta do to get a sexy nurse up in here?”

“Be admitted would be my guess,” answered Jacob.

Disgusted, Miranda crossed her arms and added, “I can make that happen.”

Without acknowledging the two former Cerberus agents, James grabbed a chair and noisily dragged it to Anya’s bedside. Grunting as he took a seat, the Lieutenant stated, “For real though, Commander, I can go twist some arms until someone treats you with some damn respect.”

Knowing that laughing would hurt, Anya smiled at him. “Don’t hurt yourself, Vega. I already tried. The only way these cuffs are coming off is if Kasumi breaks me out.”

“That can be arranged,” said the thief as she propped herself up on the foot of Anya’s bed.

“Or,” Anya looked towards the turian standing behind James. “A certain crush of our doctor friend could sweet talk her into un-cuffing me.”

Garrus’ mandibles clicked with amusement. “I’ll give it a try, Shepard. But my brand of awkward charm has been effective on only one quarian thus far. I don’t think she’d be too happy to learn that you’ve been exploiting it.”

“At any rate,” Miranda was quick to change the topic. “How are you feeling, Commander?”

Anya sighed as she leaned back into the pillow. “Like death.”

“Don’t candy coat it for your worried friends or anything,” Kasumi snickered. “We can handle it.”

“You can go ahead and feel like death all you like,” Garrus remarked, his steel blue gaze regarding her carefully. “As long as you’re alive the rest doesn’t matter.”

At that Anya scoffed. Misery didn’t matter? That sure was good to know. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Clearing his throat Jacob returned them all to the purpose of their visit.

“Congratulations on winning the war, Commander. You defeated the Reapers and we only had to rebuild most of you this time.”

If only they hadn’t bothered to rebuild her at all. Forcing a smile onto her lips Anya replied, “I didn’t do it alone.”

“No,” Jacob agreed. “But without you the Reapers would have won and we’d all be dead.”

“Each and every one of us owes you our lives, Commander.” Miranda finished Jacob’s thought. “And we just wanted to tell you how grateful we are.”

James’ gaze never left her face. His smile returned full force. “We got you something.”

“But since hospital security won’t let it through the door,” Garrus shook his head as if the mere thought was revolting. “You’ll have to get better and get out of here before you can find out what it is.”

“I’ll give you a hint,” Kasumi patted Anya’s leg. Leaning closer to Anya the thief whispered, “Its barrel is as long as Vega’s arm and it makes bad guys go boom.” Her fingers mimicked an explosion.

“You shouldn’t have.” She tried to say it jokingly, but Shepard meant it. They shouldn’t have bought her a sniper rifle. Anya wasn’t going to use it. Her legs were in tatters. When – if – she recovered, the Alliance wouldn’t take her back, and if they did they wouldn’t be dumb enough to let her do any field work.

“You’ll love it,” Garrus assured her. “I picked it out myself, and bought one for me, too.” A laugh rumbled from his chest. “We’ll have a rematch to see who the better sniper is.”

Anya didn’t care who the better sniper was or about a new rifle. Her heart wasn’t in bantering with her old friend, it had died with Thane. Her body should have followed suit on the Catalyst.

When Anya didn’t reply, James retorted for her. “A better gun won’t change the results, Scars.  It’ll only make your defeat that much more accurate.”

“Watch it, Jimmy,” growled Garrus, “Or I’ll show you just how accurate I can be.”

Her visitors joined in laughter, but Anya couldn’t bring herself to participate in their camaraderie. The others quieted when they noticed the absence of her laughter. The silence became uncomfortable but Anya felt no inclination to break it.

She was grateful to her friends for their concern, but she felt next to no desire for their company. Shepard wanted to be alone with her misery.

“I didn’t get to tell you before,” Jacob’s deep voice pierced the silence. “Bryn had the baby. He’s a boy, tough just like his old man.”

The smile that tugged at the corners of her lips wasn’t as forced as she would have expected. That baby had a hopeful future and that was what Anya had fought for.

“Congratulations, Jacob.” Smile falling a bit she teased, “He’s not named after me, I hope.”

With a laugh Jacob shook his head, “Bryn and I came to a compromise. His name is Kole Shepard Taylor. They’re outside waiting for me; I can go get them if you’d like to meet the little guy.”

Again the smile vanished from her lips. “No,” was her abrupt reply. To soften the blow, Anya explained, “Not while I’m like this.”

Jacob nodded that he understood, though his disappointment was visible in his dark brown eyes. “Then maybe next time.”

When Anya gestured her agreement Kasumi also informed her, “Kolyat is here too, Shep.”

Her heart leaped at the sound of his name. The young drell was her last living connection to Thane. The prospect of living, though unbearable, seemed less insufferable at the thought of Koyat’s presence. She had no right to request his company. He didn’t owe her anything.

Biting her lip Anya glanced in Jacob’s direction. It would be unseemly to declined to see his new born child then immediately after agree to see someone else without a moment’s thought, but she and Kasumi had gotten close enough for the little sneak to understand the meaning of Anya’s hesitation. With a slight nod she acknowledged Shepard’s unspoken approval.

“We’ll let you rest up, Shep.” Kasumi slid off of the bed and onto her bouncing feet.

With a sigh, James got up from his seat. Rolling his shoulders he stated, “I’m shipping back down to Earth tomorrow. General Coates asked for my help with the reconstruction effort, and I can’t sit around and mooch off of the Council’s good graces for much longer.”

“The Major’s a General now?” Shepard raised an eyebrow.Vega and Garrus both nodded in answer to her question.

She said, “Good for him. He deserves it.” Addressing the topic of James’ departure she well-wished, “Be safe down there.”

“I will.” James patted her good shoulder before taking his leave. Stopping at the open entrance he said, “I’ll be seeing you soon, Lola. You better be up and running the next time I’m here.”

Garrus’ chest rumbled with his amusement. “What is that thing you humans say?” His mandibles flicked as he smirked. “You have to crawl before you can walk.”

“You know Shep,” Kasumi rebuked. “She ran out of the womb.”

“Is that so, Commander?” Miranda put her hands on her hips in faux outrage. “Then someone has been falsifying your records.”

Still averse to contribute to her team’s teasing she simply smiled as reply. The people who were as good as her family left her to the plain white walls of her hospital room after a series of goodbye’s and promises to visit again later.

“Commander?” A low raspy voice stirred her from her rapidly darkening thoughts. The silky yet gravely texture of the voice both warmed and broke her heart simultaneously. The young man, so different from his father, was the only person since waking who’d made her feel a thing.

Stepping into the room, he watched her closely with large black eyes . Discomfort stiffened his body, and uncertainty kept him a safe distance away from her.

“Dr. Michel said I only had a minute.” Taking a hesitant step forward he asked, “I’m not disturbing you, am I? I can leave if you’d like to rest.”

“No,” she shook her head. “Please stay.”

With her chin she gestured for him to take the seat James had forgotten at her bedside. Noticing his weary gaze eyeing her shackled arms she answered his unasked question, “They don’t want to risk me reopening my wounds.”

Nodding, he sat in the chair and leaned back until he was comfortable. As Kolyat peered out the open blinds Shepard could easily see the cerulean blue irises hidden in the blacks of his eyes. Where Thane had been beautiful shades of greens and yellows, Kolyat was adorned in striking combinations of greens and blues. Not for the first time, Anya wondered what Irikah must have looked like.

“How are you feeling, Commander?” Looking away from the window, his cerulean gaze returned to her. As he waited for her answer his lips pursed, lips he had unmistakably inherited from his father.

Watching his lips, and remembering the man who had shared a familiar set, Anya had to shake herself free of the sorrow. Forcing her chapped lips to smile, she supplied, “Miserable.”

“Really? I mean being stuck in a hospital bed probably sucks.” His curiosity pulled him forward until he was leaning his elbows on his knees. “But you destroyed the Reapers and saved the entire galaxy, and you’re miserable?”

“That about sums it up.”

Tearing her eyes from him, Anya forced her gaze elsewhere. How could she explain to this young drell that she wanted to die? There was no way. And he didn’t deserve to be unloaded upon like that. She barely knew him. Their connection through his dead father was insufficient reason to burden him her bullshit.

Clearing her throat she changed the subject. “So how have you been, Kolyat? I haven’t spoken to you since . . .”

“Yeah,” he said so that she wouldn’t have to finish her sentence. Neither of them wanted to get into the topic of his father at that very moment. Running a hand over the serrated scales on the top of his head he answered, “After I did my time in community service Commander Bailey offered me a position at C-Sec.”

“You’re an officer?” She was impressed. The young man had allowed something good to come of the crap hand life had dealt him. His parents would have been proud.

Shaking his head he retorted, “Not yet, but soon.”

The smile on her lips was the most genuine it had been since she’d awoken. “That’s great, Kolyat! Congratulations!”

Watching her face, he sat silently for a moment. He was an intelligent young male. With a look alone, Anya could tell that his mind was reaching depths that few gave him credit for.

“I suppose I should thank you,” started Kolyat. “You gave me the opportunity to become something more than the criminal I was becoming. Not only that, but you also gave me another chance with my father.”

“Please don’t thank me,” Anya muttered.

Tearing her eyes from his she glared out the same window he’d been peering through earlier. Disquiet began to burrow in her gut, sadness filling the space it left behind. Her bottom lip found its way between her teeth as she began to worry the flesh.

With a shake of her head she continued, “I did the right thing. You shouldn’t thank me for that.”

Anya was tired of the gratitude. She had only ever done what was right. And what had that gotten her? A hospital bed with an entire life that she didn’t want to live. Her one track mind always returned to that point. She couldn’t escape it, doomed to remember that she would one day recover and be forced make a life without Thane.

“It’s too late,” he tried to smirk and ease the sudden tension that now accompanied them. “I already did. And I’m not taking it back.” Standing, Kolyat straightened out his clothes before picking up the chair and replacing it where it had once been against the wall. “My minute’s up. I should go before Dr. Michel comes to get me.”

“I’ll see you again,” she almost pleaded, barely able to hide her desperation. “Won’t I?”

“If you’d like.” Before leaving he observed, “You’ll have an eternity with my father, Commander. But you only have a lifetime with the rest of us.” And then he was gone, the doors hissing shut behind him.

A burning sting stabbed the backs of her eyes as tears began to rim her vision. She would easily give that lifetime if it meant even another minute with Thane. How much longer did she have to suffer?

 


	11. Chapter Ten

The fire flowed with fluidity that could rival its opposing element. The candlelight was to be respected, as was the altar where it and its kin set spirits at ease.

“Sere Krios,” her vibrating voice stirred him from his meditations. When his gaze lifted to meet hers she said, “I have to go retrieve the linens from Neelah; would you please accompany me?”

Thane stood from where he had been kneeling and straightened his back as he replied, “Of course, Dacia. You mustn’t even ask.” With a fleeting look at the small altar he followed the woman out the door and into the musty outdoor air.

The shuttle he’d commandeered from the science facility had only enough fuel to get him to the nearest colony. To Thane’s complete surprise, he had found himself on Zorya, a planet he had visited months earlier with Anya. They were there to help Zaeed settle a score with an old business partner, but like every mission with Anya, nothing ever went as planned.

“ _You just cost me twenty years of my life!_ ” The old mercenary bellows, turning the gun on Shepard. If his finger hugs the trigger any tighter the weapon is going to unload into the Commander’s chest. Thane watches Zaeed, his gun aimed at the human’s eye as he waits for Anya to placate her squad-mate.

Her gun is level with Zaeed’s torso. Her posture is more relaxed than her furious counterpart. There is resignation in Anya’s glare. If the human does not restrain himself she will kill him. A brilliant orange light bursts in the distance, an explosion pushing them all down as it sends chunks of the structure into the sky.

A heap of metal falls onto Zaeed throwing him off of his feet and to the ground, pinning his leg under its weight. “ _Son of a bitch!_ ”

“ _Oh, that looks like it hurts,_ ” Anya pulls herself up onto her feet and casually wanders over to where Zaeed is laying. “ _Are you alright?_ ” Her question is empty concern.

“ _The hell do you care? I’m fine._ ” He glowers. “ _But come on. Get me out of this shithole._ ”

The Commander stands over her fallen teammate. Lifting a foot she places her boot on top of the metal holding Massani to the ground, and presses her weight against it. At the sound of Zaeed groaning she says, “ _I’m not sure I need a man like you on my ship._ ”

“ _If you didn’t need me then Cerberus wouldn’t have paid my fee,_ ” he growls past his obvious pain. Thane feels no sympathy for the human. He is overridden by his vendetta. He is a danger to Anya and Thane will not allow anyone to endanger this Siha.

Removing her weight from the metal, Shepard steps away from the mercenary. “ _You put your own goals ahead of the mission. That’s not the way it works._ ” She allows Zaeed a feeble response before settling the barrel of her gun between his eyes. Thane puts his firearm away. Anya is not going to kill the other human. She is just making a point.

“ _You’re part of a team now, Zaeed. There is no way we can do this unless we’re all working together._ ”

That mission was the one and only time that Thane had visited the planet. Zorya was a human colony in the Attican Traverse. It was governed and protected by the Blue Suns. The group ran an extortion racket on the planet. There hadn’t been any jobs for him. And even if there had been, Zorya had a tropical climate. Its humidity and mildewed air would have caused his Kepral's Syndrome to accelerate a doubled rate.

When he had stepped out of the shuttle it was to his astonishment that the atmosphere hadn’t enticed a single cough from him. The humidity had no effect on him. He could breathe in the moist air and his only protest was toward the stink of the fungi that consumed the planet.

At last, he had found scant answers to a few of his questions. The war had been won. The Reapers had been destroyed. And the first human Specter had successfully united the galaxy. His Anya had done the impossible, as was her trade. The pride he felt in his Siha left him speechless.

Thane could remember, in perfect detail, the distress that had clouded her emerald eyes the day he should have died. She hadn’t allowed her sorrow to dissuade her from her path. Anya had saved them all and she would be returned to his arms as penance.

The few credit chits he had scavenged from the ransacked science facility had been adequate for a few nights stay at an inn located on the outskirts of the capital. But the mass effect relays had been damaged in wake of the Reaper’s destruction, and they wouldn’t be repaired before he ran out of money.

The elderly turian woman running the inn had a gentle heart. When Thane (read the sentence without this had, please, does it still say what you want?) explained to her that he hadn’t the money to continue renting a room it had been her idea to employ him. That was how he met Dacia Artacus.

Days ago, Thane woke from a coma to find that the reality he lived in was nothing like the one he’d succumbed to. It did not surprise him that a planet run by mercenaries was unable to sustain a semblance of stability. His only surprise was that Thun, the capital of Zorya, was not reduced to rubble in the face of its scared citizens.  He could assume it was the Blue Suns’ iron grip keeping the population in line.

The day had just begun. Above them the star that gave life to the system commenced its assent. Thane felt as though he were wading through water as he followed the turian elder down the road and into the city, but Dacia enjoyed her early morning strolls down sparsely populated streets.  When Thane offered to take her in his borrowed shuttle she fervently rejected the suggestion.

“You wouldn’t deny an old woman what few pleasures she still has, would you?” She asked as argument, a mischievous glint to her amber colored eyes.

And to that Thane had but one answer. They would walk, and he would gladly watch over her as she enjoyed her stroll. They both knew that Thane would leave as soon as the mass relays were reopened, but for the time that they weren’t, Thane would do whatever he could for Dacia and her family.

They traveled in silence for a while, Dacia humming a turian song as she steadily sauntered through the streets. When she stopped humming, she observed, “That altar has been there since I first opened the inn years ago.” Her cataract clouded eyes grinned at him in a way her lipless expression couldn’t. “You are the first person to use it.”

A smile slightly lifted his expression as he thought of the altar she was referring to. It was hardly more than a low shelf, draped with a deep red colored cloth, and lined with rows of always lit candles. There were no religious markers, no statues or figures, nothing that distinguished it as an altar to begin with. What it did have was an aura, a radiating peace that made those caught in its warm light bend their knees and murmur a prayer to whichever forces ruled their beliefs.

Turning his gaze up at the colors warming the heavens, he replied, “It reminds me of the temples on Kahje.”

With a nod she gestured that she understood. Returning her stare to her well walked path, Dacia imparted, “Niall does not understand the importance of meditation.”

Niall was her grandson. He was a slow-trusting youngling who had joined the Blue Suns to assist and protect what remained of his family. “The young rarely do,” observed Thane as he watched the capital gradually wake in pursuit of the sunrise. “He will realize its importance in time.”

“Before I’m dead, I hope.”

Dacia regularly jested, often to Niall’s horror, on the subject of her passing. The elderly turian woman did not eagerly anticipate death, but she did not pretend as though it would not soon take her. Thane detected that she made light of the topic for her grandson’s sake. The years at her disposal were few. Soon, Niall would be alone.  Dacia wanted her grandson to be prepared for that reality.

In all likelihood, it would only be after her departure that her grandson would realize the values his grandmother had tried to teach him. Kolyat had not revealed to Thane that he was familiar with the ways of the priests until Thane was lying in his death bed. Niall would not comprehend the importance of mediation until it was the only thing that kept him close to his loved ones.

He couldn’t say so to his generous employer, though, so instead he jibed, “I was under the impression that turian elders became flies when they passed, as to always pester their loved ones even after death.”

“A notion that is not too far from the truth, Sere Krios,” she played along. Satisfied by their short interaction, the elder returned to her humming as they continued down their path.

Taking in a deep breath, Thane relished the forgotten feeling of Kepral’s free lungs. He didn’t know if he was free of the wasting disease or not. Either way he needed to find a way off of Zorya. The climate was too damp for him to risk his condition returning or advancing. If he was going to be trapped on the planet much longer he would have to find a doctor to know exactly where his condition had left him.

When consulted, Dacia nodded deeply. With a dismissive wave of her talons she informed him, “The Blue Suns employ a very talented doctor. I will ask Niall to schedule an appointment."

It was a very considerate gesture and Thane was in no position to reject it. Knowing the state of his Kepral’s Syndrome was of the utmost importance. He would find a way to repay Dacia for her generosity. “If it isn’t too much trouble.”

“None at all,” she smirked at him with her golden flecked eyes. After a few more paces a building caught her attention. “Here we are,” she mumbled as she led them into the small storefront.

A bell chimed, announcing their arrival. Dacia cut through the small vacant lobby to the unoccupied register. Lightly tapping another bell, they waited for someone to come to their aid. Thane took up post in front of the wide, street facing window. Holding his hands behind his back, he watched as life began to fill the streets.

“Dacia,” a female voice joined them and Thane turned in time to see a batarian woman appear behind the counter. His surprise in seeing a batarian female was eclipsed by the same woman tilting her head to the left in greeting, a gesture proclaiming her respect for the senior turian in her shop. “I knew that you’d arrive early for your linens. I just hadn’t anticipated it being at the crack of dawn.”

The turian chuckled at the young batarian’s jest. “My age makes me sleep before it is dark and wake before it is light. Do yourself a favor, Neelah, don’t grow old.”

“But I’m growing older and older by the second.” With a pretty flutter of a laugh the young batarian turned her attention toward the drell at her window. Smile widening she gasped, “Dacia,” her tone was playfully scolding, “You didn’t tell me that you’d found yourself a handsome young suitor.”

“Oh, where are my manners?” Waving Thane over, she began the introductions. “Neelah, this is Sere Thane Krios. I have recently employed him to assist me with the inn.” Placing her eyes on Thane she continued, “Thane, this is Neelah, the batarian beauty that refuses to court my grandson.”

When Thane bowed as greeting Neelah tilted her head to the left to return the gesture. “Neelah Isimahr,” she offered. All four eyes pointing at Dacia she corrected, “As if Niall would ever have the slightest desire to court me. He’d sooner date a human.” Before the conversation could escalate into a discussion, the batarian excused herself to go retrieve Dacia’s linens.

“Mark my words, Thane, I will make her my granddaughter-in-law if it is the last thing I do.”

He couldn’t suppress his amusement and allowed a smirk to lift his lips. “Noted, Dacia.”

When Neelah returned it was with a mountainous heap of whites, neatly folded, and still warm from being dried. Thane removed the mountain from the counter top, holding it patiently as he allowed Dacia to finish her transaction.

“Any news of Palavan?” asked Neelah as she scanned the elder’s omni tool.

“Only the bits and pieces that leak through the ANN.” Dacia shook her head, mandibles clasping tightly as she glanced out the window at the life outside.

Neelah also shook her head, frustration in her movements. Crossing her arms, she commented, “I don’t understand how we can still get the news, but we can’t get a single comm. signal to function.”

“Niall tells me that the Blue Suns had hired someone to fix the comm.’s when they had first gone down.”

Head tilting to the right Neelah scoffed, “Probably a human, no doubt.”

“Whatever they are, they’d better find a way to fix our comm. signal before we have an uprising.” With a sigh Dacia gave Thane a once over before wishing the young woman farewell. The bell chimed again as they left the shop. “Batarians and their prejudices, that girl is far too young to harbor any sort of hate towards any being.”

Thane felt no inclination to voice an opinion. He had met very many batarians in his lifetime, had killed most of them. It was that very four eyed species that had murdered Irikah those many years ago, but a race could not be held responsible for the misdeeds of an individual. Thane wouldn’t condemn Neelah to the same fate as Irikah’s murderers just for the fact that she was batarian.

They walked in silence as they returned to the inn. Thun was in full bustle now that the star that dominated the sky had roused everyone from their homes. Sky cars and shuttles sped through the heavens and Blue Sun mercenaries patrolled the streets in case of Dacia’s foreboding of riot occurred.

“Put those away,” Dacia instructed as she hobbled her way towards the inn. “And then meet me in the kitchen.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Thane responded and did as he was told.

In the few days that he had gotten to know the charitable turian that sheltered him, Thane learned that she was a curious woman with a sense of humor that reminded him a bit of Anya. She didn’t tiptoe around a subject she deemed worth discussing. In her age she had discarded social graces for bluntness and practicality. A part of him was concerned over what this meeting in the kitchen meant for him.

“Sit,” the woman instructed as he entered the kitchen. Her back was to him as she rummaged around for two mugs, the teapot howling in the background. Finding all that she needed, Dacia silenced the screeching and turned to join Thane at the table.

“Tea?” she offered as she set the mug down before him and started pouring the scalding hot water.

“Please,” he answered, though it would have been far too late to say otherwise.

With a humph the elder sat down across from him and began to prepare her own tea. “Now, Sere Krios, I hope that I’m not overstepping my boundaries, but I would like to get to know the man that has so recently come into my employ.”

That was fair. The Artacus elder had been very benevolent to him. The least he could do to repay her was answer a few questions. Thane blew the steam off of the lip of his mug before taking a cautious sip. The welcomed warmth filled his mouth. It was a familiarity that he shut his eyes to savor.

Opening his eyes, Thane retorted, “If that is your wish, I will answer your questions to the best of my abilities.”

There wasn’t even a pause before her first question was thrown out before him. “Do you have a family, Thane?”

“A son,” he answered truthfully, feeling no need to lie to the older turian. “He is about the same age as Niall.”

“And his mother?”

He sipped his tea. “Dead.”

She bowed her head, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“It was many years ago.” He returned her gesture in gratitude.

“Have you found a replacement?”

Thane’s tea almost sprayed out from his nose. If he hadn’t learned the Artacus elder’s ways in his short employment he would have taken insult to her poorly worded question. With a cough he set down his mug and leaned back into his seat. He allowed a smirk to twist his lips as he regarded the turian so many years his senior.

“Dacia, your loveliness could rival that of any asari matriarch. Surely you can find a better man than I to meet your needs.”

With a chuckle her mandibles flapped in mirth. “Keep up the charm, drell. This old bag of bones could teach you a thing or two in the art of love.”

“Of that I have little doubt,” was his rebuke. In answer to her query he said, “There is a woman.”

“A human?” He nodded. “Do you love her?”

“With every beat of my heart.”

“Oh, a romantic,” she clasped her talons together in a very female display of pleasure. “I never would have guessed.” Lifting her mug to her lipless mouth she asked, “Where is she?” before taking a drink.

The ANN kept daily reports on Anya’s condition. Thane listened almost religiously, anticipating any mention of his Siha. If she fought only a while longer they would be together again. He now had the rest of his life to offer her and his son. The only obstacles standing between them, now, were the relays.

Smiling to himself Thane responded, “The Citadel.”

“What brought you to Zorya?” Dacia tilted her head as she observed, “You don’t seem the gun for hire type.”

Thane’s smile almost deepened. That was exactly the type he was.

“Fate,” it was the only answer he could give her because it was the only answer he had.

“And what did you do before fate brought to my doorstep?”

Thane knew that if he told her the truth she would have been unfazed by it. The elderly woman had an unshakable mien about her. But it was a truth that could potentially endanger her or Niall. So he chose another truth. “I was trying to be a good father to my son.”

“That is no easy task,” she said as though in admiration of a valiant effort.

He didn’t feel as though his efforts had been valiant. Ducking away from her admiration he admitted, “I have made more mistakes than can be accounted for.”

“Parenthood has never been, and will never be, a duty performed to perfection. Your mistakes, and your ability to own them, are what make you a perfect father.”

Raising his mug to the woman across from him he took another sip. “Beauty and wisdom,” he allowed a smile to take his lips. “How am I to resist a temptress of such caliber?”

“Alright,” she stood from the table with a laugh. Scooping up his empty mug, her mandibles clicked in a turian grin before she shuffled towards the sink. “I’ve taken up enough of your time. Thank you for humoring an old crone.”

Thane stood from his seat. “It was my pleasure,” he said to her back before slinking away to begin his duties.

His recent employment had taught him how poorly versed he was in the ways of the mundane. He hadn’t the slightest idea how to fold linens prior to working for the Artacus family, but Dacia was patient, and taught him what he needed to know. She may have lacked a certain social grace, but that didn’t negate her charms.

The day pressed on as Thane worked. It was not snapping necks or hunting targets, but the work was fulfilling, and allowed him to be satisfied in the knowledge that he was marginally repaying the elder Artacus’ kindness.

As night fell, Thane retreated to the small garden behind the inn. There he started with a quick meditation before finding the center of the greenery and commencing his training.

It felt good to stretch and pull his muscles again, to be reminded of the strength stored within his body. He had lost too much muscle mass while unconscious, but now that he was alive and eating properly he would be back to his fighting shape in no time.

“Where did you come from?” Niall’s shuddering voice announced his arrival. He stepped out onto the grass, crossed his arms, and glared at Thane with those amber eyes he and Dacia shared.

Thane heard the young turian’s approach as soon as he had exited the inn. Without stopping his workout he replied, “The drell home world is Rakhana, though I was born and raised on Kahje.” He was well aware that Niall did not trust him as Dacia did, and didn’t take the boy’s hostility personally. The boy didn’t share his grandmother’s quick assessment of character.

“No,” the impatient turian hissed. “Before my grandmother took you in.”

Thane threw several well orchestrated punches into the air before doing a spin kick and landing gracefully on his feet. “The last memories I have are of the Citadel.”

Niall shook his head incredulously. “You don’t remember how you got here?”

“The drell have perfect memory recall,” he stated before answering, “And I have no memories of how I arrived on this planet.”

The young Artacus reminded Thane of Kolyat. The insecurities of a boy becoming a man were mirrored across both young males. Bitterness and anger were two more unfortunate similarities that he found between them.

“How convenient.” Mandibles flicking with dissatisfaction, he announced, “I don’t trust you, drell. You come out of nowhere, work for then befriend my grandmother, and you fight like you know nothing else; which I happen to know as fact. You’re a shitty houseman.”

Finally halting his exercises, Thane turned to face the turian adorned in heavy Blue Suns armor. “I understand and accept your distrust of me, Niall, but I can assure you that I don’t mean you or your grandmother harm. I was in an unfortunate place and your grandmother took pity on me. For that I will always be grateful, as well as in your family’s debt.”

The boy sighed with displeasure but did not press the subject. Uncrossing his arms he jabbed a finger in Thane’s direction as he growled, “I’ll be keeping a close eye on you, Krios.”

Thane bowed, “I would expect no less.” Straightening his back, he started for the inn. As he passed Niall he said, “Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Without turning to watch Thane’s departure, Niall wondered, “Aren’t you coming to supper?” He glanced over his shoulder to meet the assassin’s questioning gaze. “Grandmother enjoys your company.”

Bowing his head again Thane agreed to supper. “I should bathe first.”

A smirk wrestled his mouth. The turian may not like him, but he respected his grandmother too much to disagree with her judgment. Their differences were many and far between, but Niall would not be the first turian that Thane had formed an unlikely friendship with.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

    Thane woke from a restful sleep comforted by dreams filled with the memory of Anya’s love. A hopeful mood possessed him, causing a smile to sneak onto his lips, loath to be dismissed.  Candlelight drew him to the altar, welcoming his agreeable mood with an encouraging glow.

    “Good morning, Thane.” Dacia’s gentle voice prodded his eyes to open and meet her cloudy golden gaze. From the doorway where she stood, she wondered, “Would you like to join me for breakfast?”

    “I would.” He stood from his kneeled position and followed the elder turian into the kitchen. Thane joined Dacia for her morning meal, enjoying her dry humored company before she surprised him with the revelation of his appointment with the Blue Sun physician.

    As she brought the mug up to her mouth she stated, “Niall will take you,” before drinking her tea. “I know that today was meant to be your personal day, but I need for you to stop by Neelah’s and pick up my order of cloth napkins.”

    Considering all that she had done for him, Thane would retrieve the stars from the heavens as repayment if necessary. “It will be done,” he assured her.

    They finished their breakfast in a comfortable silence. Thane was in a pensive mood, anxious and eager to meet with the mercenary’s general practitioner. The warmth of a good night’s rest had not yet abandoned him. The day was to be a good one, he hoped. Hope was not an emotion he turned to often in his life, but he was alive, and he was allowed to hope.

    Niall wandered into the kitchen, half asleep, a taloned hand dragging down his face as he shuffled towards the tea pot. Filling a mug with his grandmother’s tea, the young Artacus drank the hot liquid. With a satisfied sigh he turned towards his grandmother and nuzzled her fringe with affection.

    “Good morning, Grandmother.”

    “Morning, Niall.” She patted the side of his face, welcoming his affability with a turian smile.

    Amber eyes fell onto the drell. He acknowledged Thane with a terse nod. “Morning, Krios.” When Thane bowed his head in reply the younger Artacus said, “The doctor made time to see you today. The earlier the better, just let me know when you’re ready to leave so that I can take you.”

    “I’m ready now.” Thane saw little point in lingering a moment longer. He and Dacia both were through with their meals, and she had an inn to run without them. 

    Niall waved for the door that would take them out into the musty Zorya air. “Good, let’s not waste any more time.”

    He led them out of the inn and onto the street. Outside Niall had a sky-car parked at the back of the inn. It was a sleek model, a dark midnight blue that reminded Thane of the starless nights of Illium. It was the young turian’s prized possession. The hours he spent detailing the vehicle bordered upon worship.

    “Get in,” Niall grumbled as the sky-car door flew open.

    When they were settled inside the young turian had them up and going after a quick check of the controls. As the vehicle began its flight, zipping through the thick Zorian sky, he glanced in Thane’s direction, discontent in his golden flecked eyes. 

    “Do you have any idea how many favors I had to call in to get you this appointment?”

    Thane didn’t know, but judging by the snide tone to the turian’s rumbling voice, he would assume a great many. With little else that vocalized his gratitude he said, “And it is a debt I will never be able to repay. Thank you, Niall.”

    With a scoff he shook his head. “Don’t thank me.” Niall shot a glare at the drell beside him. “I did this for my grandmother, not for you.”

    “Be that as it may, you have my thanks.” Thane allowed silence to intervene.

     He had lived his entire assassin career under the shadow of distrust. Only during his time spent aboard the Normandy had he learned acceptance. Even then, Thane was more familiar with being doubted than being welcomed.Niall’s terseness did not bother him as much as the young Artacus hoped it would.

    Turning toward the scenic vista beyond the sky-car, Thane watched as the green of the flora flowed past. On the surface below them a fight broke out. Thane caught sight of a human shoving a batarian in Blue Sun armor before they zoomed past the scene. The thunderous sound of a weapon unloading a warning shot rang through the air.

    “Things are getting serious,” muttered Niall as he maneuvered his precious vehicle up further away from the threat of discharging firearms.

    The situation on Zorya was like a tightly stretched band ready to snap. Thane had seen it during his morning walks with Dacia. Desperation filled the eyes of the citizens of Thun. Frayed nerves lashed out with fury at the slightest provocation. The dismembered mass relay disconnecting them from the rest of the galaxy had them all nervous. 

    In reply to Niall’s observation, Thane murmured, “So it would seem.”

    “Aria rallied together every mercenary group to help fight the Reapers, leaving Zorya to operate off of the handful of Blue Suns that stayed behind to defend the planet. We get our maintenance tech from the Exodus Cluster, our medical supplies come from Artemis Tau, and we trade goods across the board. Zorya may be a self sustaining planet, but there are a lot of resources that we get elsewhere. So, with the mass relays down to shit and our comms systems out of whack people are starting to turn on each other,” explained Niall.

    It must be a truly serious situation if Niall Artacus was confiding in Thane. His quiet and meditative manner often caused those around him to vent constrained thoughts and emotions. Niall was not immune to Thane’s unintentional magnetism.

    “To make matters worse,” Niall continued. “Darner Vosque left his first lieutenant in charge. He’s a new face that no one knows, and he expects the entire damned planet to just respect him. It’s amazing that we’ve held ourselves together this long.”

    Silence fell over the vehicle again when Thane didn’t respond. Zorya’s difficulties were temporary, and would fix themselves soon after the relays were repaired. It would not be long before that happened and Thane could find his place at his Siha’s side once more.

    The Blue Sun headquarters had to be rebuilt following the destruction Zaeed had unleashed upon the refinery. The building they descended upon, now, had a pristine sheen that was marred by the scars of its past. 

    Parking the vehicle, Niall waited for Thane to step out before leading the way to the clinic. Stopping short of the entrance, the young turian caught Thane before he could disappear inside.

    “You’re going to Neelah’s for Grandmother’s napkins, right?”

    Thane nodded, “That is correct.”

    He held out his hand and a small chip fell into Thane’s grasp. Quickly assessing the item, his gaze flicked back to Niall, brow raised with speculation.

    “Give that to Neelah for me, please?”

    Closing his fingers around the tiny item he accepted the task with a nod. It was a test, and though Thane had nothing to prove to the young Artacus, he would see it completed.

    Without a word of thanks Niall left Thane at the doctor’s doorstep. Pressing beyond the green panel, Thane entered the medical office and was greeted by an asari the shade of lavender.

    She spun around in her seat to see who had entered. Greeting him with a smile she said, “Ah, Mr. Krios.” She was beautiful, as all asari were. The white markings decorating her face encircled her big, blue eyes. Her expression was kind and her manner was friendly. 

    “I’ve been expecting you. Please, have a seat,” she said, gesturing to the examination table.

    Thane did as was instructed of him and settled down on the table.

    “I’m Dr. Leao. It is a pleasure to meet you.” She shook his hand. “Now what am I doing for you today?”

    He couldn’t outright admit to her that he suspected that his Kepral’s had abandoned him. That would raise questions he couldn’t answer. Instead he chose a half truth. “I’ve been having some shortage of breath and soreness in my chest when I breathe.”

    “Hmm,” she hummed before approaching him. With a wave of her hand she activated her omni-tool and began her analysis. Holding the orange glowing device out in front of her, she moved as if scanning over Thane.

    Out loud she said, “Your heart rate is normal, and your blood pressure and body temperature look good.” Taking a measured step back, Dr. Leao’s gaze scrutinized Thane with a clinical eye. Removing a small flashlight from her coat pocket, she stepped closer to Thane, “Say Ah,” with a quick study of the inside of his mouth she said, “Good, thank you.”

    Dr. Leao removed the stethoscope from around her neck and fitted the tips into her ears. Closing what remained of the distance between them, she placed the cool metal of the stethoscope on Thane’s chest. With the repeated instructions of “Breathe in, breathe out,” she listened to the ongoings of the inside of his ribcage.

    Again she murmured, “Hmm.” Unhooking the stethoscope from her ears she pulled up her omni-tool again. An image of his lungs came up in between them. Thane was speechless. 

    The last time he had seen the likeness of his lungs in had caused him to cringe. Blotches and angry colors had dominated the image, but now there was nothing to be found. It was like someone had replaced his old, faulty set and honored him with a new working pair.

    Waving off her omni-tool, Dr. Leao went to her workstation to retrieve a few vials and a needle. Returning to the examination table that Thane was seated upon, she informed him, “I’m going to take some blood samples to run a few tests.”

    “Is there a problem?” Thane asked as he held out his arm for her gather her samples. He knew there was. The problem was that he was no longer suffering from Kepral’s Syndrome and he hadn’t the slightest idea how that was possible.

    “No, not yet,” was her answer as she stuck him with the needle and claimed the necessary amount of blood. “You’re healthy and everything looks good, but there is some irritation in your lungs which is causing inflammation. That is what’s causing the discomfort in your breathing.” Dr. Leao removed the needle from his arm and placed a bandage over the bead of blood that was summoned to the surface of his skin.

    Again, she returned to her work station and placed the vials of blood into a small machine before turning it on and jotting down some notes. Not looking up from her task she asked, “How long have you been on Zorya?”

    Thane honestly didn’t know. He had awoken in the science facility, but how long had he been stuck between life and death? Pulling an answer out of thin air, he replied, “A few months.”

    “What brought you here?”

    His death had brought him here. Had it not been a medically invalid response, he would have answered as he had when Dacia asked him the same question; fate. 

    Alternatively he said, “I was visiting friends and I was not able to leave before . . .” He allowed the explanation to hang there, knowing that the doctor would supply herself with her own implications.

    “So you don’t reside on Zorya? When the mass relays open you’ll be leaving?”

    Thane nodded, “Yes, when they have opened I will be leaving.”

    “Alright,” momentarily finished with her notes Dr. Leao returned her stare to the patient sitting atop her examination table. There was a serious look in her dark blue eyes. “I’m sure that I don’t have to explain to you about Kepral’s Syndrome, Mr. Krios.” It wasn’t an implication that she knew of his medical history. She had made the statement because Thane was drell, and all drell knew what Kepral’s was. “Even though you are currently in good shape, the irritation in your lungs is a sign that the tropical Zorya climate is effecting your body. If left untreated this could easily escalate into the first stages of Kepral’s.”

    Quickly typing something into her terminal she said, “I’m writing you a prescription for antibiotics and a nebulizer. You are to use the nebulizer every night until you are off of Zorya. You’re Kepral’s free now, but let’s not take any chances.”

    He was Kepral’s free. She had just said it. His body was cleansed and he had no recollection of the development. Shutting his eyes, Thane sent a prayer of thanks to Arashu, grateful for the new chance she had given him. I’m coming, Siha. Soon we will be together again.

    Bowing in gratitude to the doctor, Thane said, “As you say. Thank you, Dr. Leao.”

    “It was a pleasure.” Standing from her seat as Thane slid off of the examination table, she held out her hand again for a departing handshake. “If the mass relays aren’t fixed, or you haven’t found a way off of Zorya, in two months, I want to see you again for another check up.”

    “Yes, Ma’am,” Thane gave her hand a firm shake, unable to express to her the depth of his gratitude. “Thank you for your time, Dr. Leao.” Leaving the clinic Thane was ushered out of the Blue Sun’s base and sent on his way back into the heart of Thun.

    He located a rapid transit terminal and hailed a cab that would return him to the outskirts of the capital. Stepping out of the vehicle, he started for Neelah’s shop.

    The familiar chime greeted him as he entered the fresh smelling lobby. The young batarian woman was standing behind the counter sifting through papers. Lifting her eyes to the sound of the bell, a welcoming grin curled her lips at the sight of Thane approaching her counter. 

    “Sere Krios, good morning.”

    “Good Morning, Ms. Isimahr.” He bowed his head and returned her smile.

    Her grin grew, “Neelah is fine, Sere Krios.”

    “And so is Thane,” he replied, his smile growing as well.

    “Alright, Thane,” tilting her head to the left she wondered, “Are you here to pick up Ms. Artacus’ napkins?”

    “That I am.”

    “Give me a moment and I’ll go get them for you.” She disappeared into a back room and a moment later reappeared carrying a heavy looking crate over to the counter. “And here they are,” she grunted as she hoisted the container onto the countertop that divided them. 

    Brushing herself off she exhaled, “Don’t worry about paying. Niall came in last night and took care of it.”

    With a nod, Thane slid the crate closer to the edge of his side of the countertop. Before he could heave the package up and return with it to the inn he said, “Speaking of Niall,” and reached into his breast pocket to pass along Niall’s chip.

    “What’s this?” Neelah inspected the tiny device that fell into her palm.

    Thane answered, “I don’t know. Niall requested that I pass it along to you.”

    A curious expression settled on her features. Shaking her omni-tool on and waving it over the chip, Niall’s voice suddenly filled the lobby. “ _Hey, Neelah. You said that you weren’t familiar with Expel 10. I put together a bunch of songs that I thought you might like. Let me know what you think_.”

    “Oh,” all four of her eyes were fluttering. A distracted smile hinted at the corners of her mouth. If Neelah was human she would have flushed a brilliant cherry color.

    A smile tried for his lips as Thane recalled the many times that he had caused Anya’s cheeks to burn with a blush. He hadn’t suspected that there was actually an ember between Neelah and Niall, only the playful pestering of a grandmother overly eager to marry off her grandson.

    The batarian at the register was flustered by her embarrassment, having accidentally shared with Thane a private message. Before she could stammer out an explanation or apology Thane hefted up the box and turned for the exit. 

    “As always, Neelah, it was a pleasure to see you. Have a wonderful day.”

    “To you as well, Thane,” Her soft voice followed him out the door.

    Free of the warm feelings Neelah was radiating, Thane allowed himself a smile as he made his return to the inn. Upon his arrival Dacia thanked him for the delivery with a warm meal and good-humored conversation. 

    Thane left the inn, again, contented and optimistic. His trip back into the capital had the misfortune of being when the city was the most active. After searching, losing himself, and asking for directions he found the pharmacy and picked up his prescriptions. 

    He and Dacia walked Thun’s streets enough times for Thane to recall a few shortcuts back to the inn. Even though the market place was the central hub of buzzing activity, a quick walk between kiosks and around shoppers, and he would find himself reunited with the safe quiet of the inn. 

    It was a bazaar of jewelry, food, guns, and other goods. There was shouting and bartering and a general din of shoppers and browsers and those who only sought the company of the masses.

    A commotion stirred somewhere in the high volume market. Curious, he turned his gaze over his shoulder. His gut and heart worked in unison to push him forward. Thane didn’t want to get involved with whatever was going on, but if there was something -- anything \--  that he could do to help, he owed it to the gods to lend assistance where it was needed.

    A child’s voice grew clearer as it drew closer. Thane could see as a child pushed through the crowd yelling, “Dad!” The little body shoved his way between legs and around spurs. In a flash, he pushed past a human woman and sprinted head long right into Thane. With a surprised oomph the little boy fell onto his backside.

    Instantly, Thane recognized the array of freckles sprinkled across his nose, those impossibly large hazel eyes, and the tawny tone of his unkempt hair. Helping the boy back onto his feet, Thane couldn’t suppress the shock from his voice, “Mika?”

    The boy glared all the way up at the tall drell that stood in his way. After a moment of thorough scrutiny, recognition widened his already large eyes. “Hey! I remember you.” His mismatched teeth were revealed as a grin took his expression. “You’re Aunt Anya’s boyfriend.”

    “What are you doing here, Mika? Where are your parents?” Thane looked over the shoulders of the crowd surrounding them. He didn’t recognize anyone else.

    As if just remembering his previous task, Mika’s expression changed to one of discomfort and urgency. Panicked eyes pleading with Thane, the boy said, “I have to find my dad. Mom’s in trouble. A batarian said she stole something. But I was with her the whole time. She didn’t steal anything, honest!”

    Thane’s eyes narrowed. Jaw set, he held his hand out to the young boy before him. When Mika reluctantly took his hand he rumbled, “Where’s your mother, Mika? Take me to her.”

    “This way,” he tugged Thane forward and guided him back through the crowd of shoppers until they came to the mob of onlookers. They broke through a tight circle of spectators and into the quickly unfolding scene.

    “That necklace was pure palladium, human,” he spat out with disgust. The batarian merchant sneered at the woman standing before his stand.

    Cassandra was average height for a  human female, standing at 5’5. Long waves of dark brown hair fell to her thin waist. Her skin was a smooth olive tone with a healthy pink hue from standing too long under the Zorian sun. The last time Thane had seen her, her eyes had been darkened by bruises of restlessness. Now, her honey colored eyes were bright, sharp with her current irritation. She was a lovely looking human, though nowhere near the beauty of his Siha.

    “I understand that, sir.” Her annoyed voice reached Thane as he approached the kiosk. “But, as I told you before, I didn’t take it.”

    The batarian crossed his arms. Lower eyes blinking, his gravelly voice demanded, “Empty your bag.” His dull black eyes took on a demeaning glare.

    Features twisting with outrage, she rebuked, “No. I didn’t take anything. And you have no proof to the contrary. Now, Sir, I’m going to walk away and you’re going to leave me alone.”

    Cassandra made a move to leave but stopped short when the merchant threatened, “Return the necklace or I will call the authorities.”

    Her jaw tightened. On Zorya the authorities were the Blue Suns, a faction that the merchant was, at least in some small part, a member of. The tattoo on the side of his neck let all know that he had low friends in high places.

    Before the situation could escalate any further, Thane released Mika’s hand, instructing him to “Stay here,” as he entered the fray.

    Michael’s wife did a double take at the sight of the drell entering her dispute. “Thane?” Her expression was shocked, caught between anger toward the batarian and bewildered by the ghost of an assassin she met once before.

    Turning his irate glare onto the spiteful batarian merchant, Thane assured him, “That will not be necessary. This woman did not steal from you. And you,” he turned his head marginally to the right, “will cease harassing her.” 

    Thane’s tone and leer were severe enough to send the merchant a step back. His naturally non-confrontational temperament made others uncomfortable, as if they could sense that with a flick of his wrist Thane could disable a krogan.

    The batarian blinked his lower eyes again before a sneer twisted his mouth and, with a violent wave of his hand, he barked, “Leave.”

    Cassandra did not need to be told twice. Tightly clutching her bag, she and Thane left the kiosk and grabbed Mika before disappearing into the thicket of onlookers. Free from the curious eyes of an entranced audience, Cassandra reached for Thane’s arm and pulled him to a stop. 

    “Thane, what . . .” she blinked as if trying to collect her thoughts. “I thought you were dead. We all thought that Kai Leng killed you.”

    “He did,” Thane ran a hand over the serrated scales at the top of his scalp and sighed. Shaking his head to demonstrate his lack of proper explanation he said, “I was just as surprised as you are.”

    Her features shifted with her curiosity, “Does Anya know?”

    “No,” he answered. “I have not been able to send out a message.”

    “The comm. system, yeah, I know.” Looking down at the boy standing beside them, a small smile began to tug at the corners of her lips and brightened her face. “Come, let’s go to the apartment and talk privately. Michael will want to see you.”

    “Thane’s coming over?” Mika beamed and jumped up and down on the balls of his feet. “I can show you the ships that Aunt Anya sent me. They’re so awesome!”

    “Are you sure?” Thane asked Cassandra, not wanting to impose.

    She nodded, “Please, let me make you lunch, or something.” A laugh parted her smiling lips when she saw Thane’s brow quirk at the lure of food. “It’s the least I can do to thank you for getting me out of that uncomfortable situation.” Waving for him to follow she added, “We have a lot of catching up to do.”

    “Indeed we do,” he agreed.

    She and Mika led him back into the city, far from the outskirts where the inn was located. The buildings grew taller the further in they went, growing in order to accommodate the larger population. 

    Cassandra’s home was located in a carefully maintained, well lit building. Three flights of stairs later, they stepped into a beautiful home decorated with vibrant upholstery and accented with exotic flowers. The apartment was enormous, stretching out for hundreds of feet, with rooms to spare. Every inch was decorated by the touch of a loving woman, making the apartment a home.

    Thane scanned the home, quickly locating the windows and exits, before he observed, “You have a lovely home, Cassandra.”

    Her smile was widened by pride. “Thank you, Thane. I’m just trying to liven up the place.” Patting the top of her son’s head she instructed, “Go wash up, Mika. Then you can show Thane your new collection.”

    “You’re going to love it,” the boy guaranteed before running off to do as he was told.

    A smile formed on Thane’s mouth that he did not bother to erase or disguise. Glancing at Cassandra, he said, “He has grown immensely since the last time I’ve seen him.”

    “He doesn’t stop growing.” Gesturing towards the living room she instructed him to make himself at home as she walked over to the kitchen to grab them some refreshments. When she returned, Cassandra handed him a glass of water before claiming the love seat across from him.

    “Where are Michael and the baby?” asked Thane before taking a drink of the water and setting it down on the coffee table.

    Her smile grew with endearment. “They were at the market with us. But Michael saw something he liked and couldn’t be separated from the kiosk. They’ll be back soon,” she reassured him. Comfortably leaning back into her seat she started, “It’s so good to see a familiar face on this god awful planet. But what exactly are you doing here?”

    Still unable to adequately answer the question, he replied, “I could ask you the same.”

    “You could,” she agreed. “But I’ll let Michael explain that one to you.” 

    In a friendly manner she steered the rest of their conversation to her experiences since the last time they had seen one another. Cassandra did not want to make him uncomfortable by prying, though Thane knew the questions would come. When Michael found his way home they would have to sort through the muddled explanations of Thane’s survival.

    Cassandra’s laugh was lively. She smiled a lot during conversation, relaxing those around her and making them comfortable. She was an excellent hostess and made Thane feel as though he were a part of the family.

    Smile widening she said, “Had I known how eventful today was going to be I would have had a bigger breakfast.” Her laugh sparked amid them. “Between the batarian bully and running into you, my emotional fuel levels are running pretty low.”

    Thane smiled at her jest. Cassandra had a beautiful soul. It was easy to see why Michael had chosen her as his wife. “Does that happen to you often?”

    “What?” she wondered, “Being harassed by batarians, or running into my sister-in-law’s supposedly dead boyfriend?” Her eyes narrowed a bit as she tried to protect her husband’s family. “Because the first one happens way more often than the second,” there was only the slightest undertone of disapproval in Cassandra’s inflection.

    Before Thane could explain himself, the front door opened. The tall man that shared a still startlingly similar appearance to his sister entered the apartment with his daughter in tow. “ – and then Daddy’s going to put you down for a nap.” Michael stopped abruptly at the sight of the unexpected guest in his living room.

    Thane and Cassandra stood at the same time. Smiling at her husband and her daughter, she walked over to where Michael stood frozen at the front door. “Honey, you remember Thane,” she said as she took little baby Ana from her husband’s grasp. “We ran into each other at the market.” 

    Hoisting the baby onto her hip, she stared up at her husband, confusion turning her features. “What’s wrong, my love?”

    “Thane,” Michael’s voice was low, whispered outrage. His features slowly began to transform with his anger. Hands tightening into fists, it became a visible struggle for Michael Shepard to control himself. “You’re alive.”

    Thane opened his mouth to offer an explanation but Michael interrupted before the words could come out. “You were alive all this time?” Stomping over to where Thane was standing, Michael grabbed him by the collar and shoved him into the wall, a feat he was only able to accomplish because Thane allowed it. “Do you have any idea how badly Anya suffered when you died?”

    “Michael!” Cassandra shouted from behind her husband, urging him to release their guest. “Let go of him, Michael.”

    “Do you?” Michael shouted at Thane, jerking his grasp to shake the answer out of him. “Do you know what your death did to her?”

    “I didn’t mean –“ he tried to speak above Michael’s rage. Releasing himself from Michael’s hold would have been a simple thing, but the human needed this, needed to voice and release his anger. He would not look at Thane without hostility until his umbrage was vented. He and Anya had that in common.

    “Didn’t mean to what? Didn’t mean to break her heart? Didn’t mean to destroy her with your death only to show up in _my_ home alive?” He snarled, his lip curling with fury. “You’re _alive_ , she thought you were dead and it almost killed her.” Giving Thane another shake he demanded, “How could you do this to her?”

    “I was dead.” Thane did not care for the man-handling. Without hurting Anya’s brother, he quickly maneuvered himself out of the man’s grasp and was standing safely behind him. When Michael whipped around, ready to hunt Thane down and fight until first blood, Thane caught the man’s flying fist and secured it between them. “Kai Leng killed me during the Cerberus coup. Or at least he should have. The last thing I remember is my ‘death’ at Huerta Memorial.” Thane released Michael’s wrist and took a step back.

    Straightening his back he continued, “When I woke up it was in a science facility on this planet. Anyone who could have given me an explanation as to why I am alive is dead. Cerberus attacked the science base and now I have no idea how or why I live.” 

    Giving Michael the most sincere look he could, he swore to him, “The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt your sister. Anya is my heart. You must believe me.”

    After a few heated seconds of Michael’s heavy breathing, he gave Thane a reluctant nod. “I do.” Rubbing the back of his neck as if suddenly embarrassed, Michael apologized, “I sort of lost it there for a second.”

    “You think?” Cassandra scolded her husband.

    “I’m sorry, Thane.” He stared down at his feet, head hung with shame. “That was not very adult of me.”

    Thane allowed a smile to break the uncomfortable atmosphere within the apartment. Nodding in acceptance of Michael’s apology he stated, “She is your sister. She protects you just as fiercely as you do her.” 

    Looking from Michael to his wife he wondered, “Should I leave? I do not wish to overstay my welcome.”

    “No,” they said together. With another sigh Michael said, “I acted out of line. Please stay and let me fix this.”

    “There is nothing to be fixed,” Thane promised him.

    “Of course there is,” Cassandra chided, “Michael knows better than to fling highly trained assassins into walls. If you didn’t have the patience of a saint I could be taking him to the hospital instead of insisting that you stay for dinner.” She raised an eyebrow at Thane. “I am insisting that you stay, just so we’re clear.”

    “Then I am unable to refuse.” Thane’s smile returned.

    With a nod she replied, “Glad to hear it. Now,” she poked baby Ana on the nose before walking towards the back of the apartment. “I have some children to wrangle down for a nap.” 

    Giving her husband a pointed look, she instructed, “Play nice.”

    Michael watched his wife leave. Scratching the back of his head, a weary smirk turned the corners of his mouth as he regarded Thane. “Now that I think about it, she’s right. You could have killed me in a heartbeat.”

    He chuckled at the youngest Shepard. Patting Michael’s shoulder, he provided, “Anya would have been very upset with me if I did that.”

    “Well, thank God for my sister.” He joined in Thane’s amusement. With a broad gesture at the living room, Michael invited Thane to retake his seat. They both sat down and allowed the silence to join them for a moment, thoughtful of what had just occurred between them. 

    Turning his gaze toward Thane, Michael leaned forward as he asked, “You really don’t know how you ended up on Zorya?”

    Thane shook his head. Stitching his fingers together and placing them on his lap, he leaned back into his seat. With a breath he explained, “I woke up and I was here and I was alive. I’ve uncovered no answers since awakening, and am unsure if I ever will.” After a moment of consideration he decided to tell Michael everything. 

    “Did you sister explain my condition to you?”

    “Kepral’s Syndrome?” Thane nodded. “Yeah, she told me that you didn’t have much time, that you were dying and that there was nothing anyone could do about it.”

    “It’s true,” he nodded again. “Or, at least, I believed it was; but I went to a doctor today to have some tests run. My lungs are clean. I no longer suffer from Kepral’s.”

    “What? That doesn’t make any sense,” Michael lifted a burgundy eyebrow. “I thought that it was already too late for treatment or a transplant. How is that possible?”

    “That is a question I find myself asking quite often.” Thane retrieved his glass of water from the coffee table and took a sip. Contemplating the clear liquid in his cup, he muttered, “I have questions without answers.” He looked up from his glass to the man that sat quietly across from him. “I’ve tried to reach Anya, and my son, to let them know that I live. But I’ve been unable to get a message off planet.”

    “Yeah,” Michael scratched the back of his head again. With an irate huff he said, “I’ve been trying to get those damn comm. signals up and running again, but that won’t happen until the relays are fixed.”

    “You’ve been trying?” Thane arched a green scaly brow. “You are the one that the Blue Suns called to repair them.”

    With a deep nod he sighed again. “That would be me. A while back, during the war, they hired my company to fix whatever bugs were in the system. The company sent me. These snazzy digs are courtesy of the Blue Suns, to make my stay more comfortable while I repair the comms.” Combing his fingers through his hair, Michael said, “But the problem isn’t with the links anymore. Those I’ve fixed. We can communicate with any other planet or station in this system. The problem is connecting with the other buoys. There are literally thousands of comm. buoys in the galaxy, all neatly connected to one another so that we can communicate in real time. 

    “The comms in this system are unable to connect with those thousands across the galaxy. And there is nothing that I can do about it until the mass relays are open again. We can send messages and calls out. But they’re going to travel at light-speed, which means that they won’t reach their destination until, not only you, but your grandchildren’s grandchildren are dead.”

    Michael’s work was much more complex than Thane would ever comprehend. Still, he ventured just a bit further. “What about the ANN? How can we still get the galactic news?”

    “That’s a different matter altogether.” Michael’s hand gestures intensified as he tried to explain the science to Thane. “The radio frequency also travels through the buoys, shooting from relay to relay, from buoy to buoy, until it reaches our stations and are transmitted to the masses. Those frequencies aren’t exactly reaching our malfunctioning buoys, per say. What’s happening is that they are reaching the systems around ours and pulsating from those buoys into our system. The news you hear now is no longer news, it’s . . . recent history, for lack of better phrasing.”

    Thane quirked an eyebrow. Michael was a severely intelligent young man. “Your work sounds extensive.”

    He coughed in agreement. Leaning his elbows on his knees, Michael began to rub his temples as if warding off a migraine. With another heavy exhale, he said, “The lieutenant running the Blue Suns right now is very unhappy with my progress.”

    Thane’s attention focused with that information. His expression darkened as he inquired, “How so?” If someone was distressing Michael or his family then Thane would see the matter taken care of.

    With a shrug, he stated, “He’s threatening to kick us out of the apartment.”

    “He hasn’t hurt you?” Thane leaned forward, holding Michael’s gaze. “He hasn’t tried to harm your family in anyway?”

    “Not yet,” he answered with a sigh. Eyes shadowing at the thought of that occurring, Michael shook his head clear. “So far he’s kept my family out of it.”

    “Good,” Thane relaxed a bit. Should that statement become untrue he wanted to know. Anya’s family was his family. He would not allow any harm to fall upon them.

    “Boys,” Cassandra called as she reentered the living room. “If there’s any blood on my furniture I am going to be very upset with the both of you.” Joining them, she stood in front of the coffee table with her hands on her hips.

    When her husband said, “We’ve been behaving,” she replied, “You better have,” before joining him on the loveseat.

    Smiling happily at Thane she asked, “So, Thane, where have you been staying?”

    “An inn just outside of the city,” he answered. Already knowing what her next set of questions would be, he politely answered them before she could ask. “I managed to scavenge up some credits to rent a room for a few nights. When I didn’t have any more credits the owner offered to employ me so that I could continue to live there.”

    “Thane,” she gasped, her delicate hand covering her mouth in horror. Grabbing her husband by the hand she stared into his pine green irises, a silent communication passing between husband and wife. When she returned her attention to Thane she said, “We’ve found each other now, you don’t have to keep living with strangers.”

    Michael voluntarily nodded his agreement. “Sandra’s right.” Wrapping an arm around his wife’s shoulders, he said, “Stay here with us.”

    Thane couldn’t possibly intrude on their private space. He had a room at the inn. It was enough. He didn’t need to encroach on Anya’s family. Gently wording his refusal, he stated, “I shouldn’t impose. I have a bed and I have a job. There’s no need for me to burden either of you with another body in this apartment.”

    “Thane,” Michael gave him a serious look. “This place is enormous. If you want to keep your job, no one is stopping you. But Anya loves you, like it or not, you’re family. And family sticks together. There’s an extra bedroom with an attached bathroom. It’s yours if you want it.”

    It appeared as though he had little choice. Thane hadn’t known that ‘stay for dinner’ was Shepard talk for ‘move into the spare bedroom’. They were right about one thing, family sticks together. There was one easy way that Thane could be sure that they were safe from Blue Suns thugs. 

    Smiling at their hospitality and kindness he nodded that he would take up residence with them. “I will inform Ms. Artacus tonight.”

    “Great,” Cassandra clapped happily. Smiling brightly at her new roommate, she admitted, “It’s going to be great to have another adult to talk to.”

    “Mika’s a solid seven years old, Sandra,” Michael teased his wife. “He’s practically a man.”

           Seven, that was near the age Kolyat had been when Irikah departed from her body. Mika was not a man yet, but he would be sooner than Michael and Cassandra would realize.

           Thane couldn’t race across the galaxy to find his son or Anya.  The best he could do now was to enjoy her family for her. With a smile he sat back and watched as the playful couple fought a faux argument of their son’s manly-ness. Michael was undoubtedly Anya’s brother, and his mate was his perfect match. Witnessing their banter made his heart ache for the woman so many light-years away.


	13. Chapter 13

_ Strands of hair tickled her neck as strong fingers combed through the crimson locks. A contented sigh spilled past her smiling lips as Anya hugged the pillow tighter. Behind her, Thane moved. His lips gently brushed across the smooth skin of her shoulder, sending shivers up her spine. His breath warmed her, waking her from the lull of sleep. Smile deepening, she turned to face the drell lying beside her._

_ _

_ The fish tank’s soft blue glow lit the room setting Thane’s vibrant green scales ablaze with a cool blue smolder. He glittered as if sculpted from emerald, jade, and alexandrite; the lifelong work of visionary craftsman. He was a sight without equal. His bare chest was revealed to her, each incline and cleft explored and burned into her memory. He was an Adonis with an appetite for flesh that was almost sinful._

_ _

_ A soft purr hummed from him. His obsidian gaze never left hers; eyes committing this moment to perfect memory. A rare grin lifted his lips, causing crinkles at the corners of his eyes. His perfectly white teeth were unveiled behind the heart-stopping grin. His long incisors reminded her of the lethality of his bite._

_ _

_ “Siha,” his husky voice filled her veins, a narcotic more potent than the hallucinogens in his saliva.Her stomach tightened at the sound of it, fire burning her with desire for him. When his arms reached for her, pulling her to his chest, she was only too happy to comply. He placed a kiss on her brow before rumbling, “I have missed you.”_

_ _

_ Anya wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly. Unable to fight off the mutiny of tears, her voice waivered with her reply, “I’ve missed you too, Thane.” More than he could ever comprehend._

_ _

_ He maneuvered them so that she was resting her head on his chest. His comforting voice wondered, “Where are you, Siha?”_

_ _

_ Anya lifted her gaze to meet his, confusion stiffening her body. She watched her drell under the dim blue glow and shook her head. “What are you talking about?” She relaxed against him before placing a series of kisses on his neck. Drawing circles across his chest with her fingers, she demonstrated, “I’m right here, my love.”_

_ _

_ He removed her fingers from his scales and held her wrist at a safe distance. His eyes were pained, filled with a despair that she’d seen only once before. Expression now grim, his previous contentment was abducted by darker emotions. _

_ _

_ “I have been waiting for you,” his gravelly voice shattered what pieces were left of her heart. “You never came. I thought you wanted to spend eternity with me.” Sitting up, he pushed her off of his chest and as far away from him as possible._

_ _

_ “I do!” Anya moved to touch him and feel his warmth beneath her fingers. She tried to find the words that would make him understand. “Please, Thane. I want nothing more than to be with you for eternity.” _

_ _

_ “Then where are you?” He glared at her, resentment darkening his gaze, a severe contrast to the love he’d shown moments before.He stood from the comfort of her bed, forcing her hand to fall from his arm._

_ _

_ “You let me die, Anya.” Anya, not Siha. She was no longer worthy of that title. “You allowed Kai Leng to kill me and did nothing to stop it. It is because of you that I am gone.”_

_ _

_ Anya buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook, her body heaving as sobs tore from her throat. He was right and she knew it. If she had done more to protect him, he could have been saved. He was gone, and only she was to blame. _

_ _

_ “I’m so sorry, Thane.” She tried to say past the weight of her guilt, but he shook his head and dismissed the apology._

_ _

_ Removing his angry gaze from her, he turned for the exit. “The sea calls, I must go.”_

_ _

_ “No! Thane, wait!” She crawled off the bed, only to be snagged by the sheets and stumble to the floor. “Don’t leave me,” she cried after him. “Please stay with me!”_

_ _

_ “You did this,” he growled as the doors opened. Beyond her room was the wonder of a sea shore. The grains of sand glittered like crystals, and the sapphire blue sea roared. Without looking back Thane stepped onto the ivory sand, welcomed by the unmarred sunlight of a cloudless blue sky. With a quiet hiss, the doors shut behind him._

_ _

_ Freeing her foot from the tangled sheets, she sprinted after the man she loved. She reached the door, hammering her fists on them until they slid open. The beach was gone. There was no shoreline. Yawning before her was an abysmal chasm of black. Thane was gone; she was alone and she had no one to blame but herself._

    Her own cries woke her. Her tears had soaked through her hair and pooled in the threads of the pillow under her head. Anya was only marginally aware of the other person in the room, trying to shake her awake. She was unable to speak past her anguish. Panic squeezed her chest until she could hardly breathe.

    “Commander, wake up!” urged the young nurse. “You’re having a nightmare,” the words were intended to be soothing, but failed. “It’s just a bad dream. You’re okay.”

    After several deep breaths, Anya was able to calm her racing heart. When reality returned she found herself in a dark room. It was night on the Citadel, the artificial skies were turned off to give the inhabitants a restful sleep.

    “Good, Commander,” the nurse’s voice was soft, gently praising the frightened woman. “Do you know where you are?”

    Anya didn’t have the energy to roll her eyes. She had had a nightmare, not an amnesia attack. Clearing her throat she answered the question, “Huerta Memorial Hospital, on the Citadel.”

    The young girl nodded then sighed with relief. Patting Anya on the arm, she said, “I’ll go get you a glass of water,” before leaving her to the dark room.

    Anya shifted in the bed, testing her restraints for the millionth time. With each day that passed it became clearer to her why they were necessary. It also became more urgent for her to get them off. She needed her hands. She needed to do what should have been done on the Catalyst.

    She huffed in frustration when the leather cuffs didn’t give way. Laying her head back onto the pillow, she glared at the ceiling. From the corner of her eye, an orange glow caught her attention. Glancing towards the shut blinds, Anya watched the light flutter just outside the window.

    When the nurse returned she didn’t so much as glance up to acknowledge the other woman. Keeping her glare on the orange light, Anya wondered, “What is that?”

    The nurse offered Anya the straw adorned glass. As Anya took the straw into her mouth and drank the cup dry, she answered, “It’s for you.” When the cup was empty she set it down on the nightstand and strode towards the window to open the blinds.

    Anya watched with controlled curiosity. She tried to remember the girl’s name. It was Stephanie, she thought; or Jessica, maybe Brittany or something equally forgettable. 

    Her eyes widened when the blinds opened to reveal a tirade of light. Hundreds of candles illuminated the Presidium, leaking their light into her hospital room.

    Not tearing her eyes from the flames, she asked, “For me? What do you mean, for me?”

    “It’s a vigil,” whatever her name was explained. “The candles belong to well-wishers that are praying for your recovery.”

    There were so many. All those lights were for her, each candle a prayer that she’d get better and take her place among them. There were hundreds, thousands, countless people watching her closely.

    Anya set her jaw and ripped her glare from the fleet of flames. “Shut the blinds,” she instructed, not wanting to look at them any longer.

    They were waiting for her. Eventually she was going to get better and be kicked out the hospital, where she’d find herself standing spotlight to the public’s eye. Anya could barely stand the sound of her own heart beating. How could she be expected to face that? 

    Sighing, she shut her eyes and listened to the mechanical beep of the heart monitor. According to it she still had one. The organ beating in its cage was functional enough to keep her alive. But how could it still beat when Thane was dead?

    Anya didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. When the forged light of dawn lit the presidium she watched as its brightness filled her room.

    The flames shouldn’t have surprised her as much as they had. Flowers of every shape and color filled the room with an earthy scent. There were cards and pictures, gifts from well-wishers and friends. People she had never met in her life sent prayers for her improvement. All around her were reminders of the expectations they all had for her.

    They expected her to get better. They expected her to get back onto her feet and go back to being her old self. All of them expected something from her.

    Anya wanted the peace of death, the quiet of a shore where her love awaited her. She had disappointed him before. She couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing him again.

    Hours passed. She was served breakfast, washed, and treated like a baby that couldn’t hold up her own head. The coddling was going to drive her crazy faster than anything else. Anya wanted to bash her head into a wall and she couldn’t even do that. 

    It was to her surprise when the doors opened and Kolyat walked into her room. He took a quick look around as he tried to locate a chair amidst the bottomless pool of flowers, stuffed animals, and balloons. Removing a life-sized stuffed bear from the seat, Kolyat set it down beside Anya’s bed and took a seat.

    “Kolyat,” she sat up as straight as her restraints would allow. A small smile tugging at her lips as she wondered, “What are you doing here?”

    He shrugged, “Just thought I’d pay you a visit before my shift.” Throwing the room another once over, he commented, “If you get any more fans, Commander, I’m going to be blown away.”

    “Kolyat,” she couldn’t help the laugh that sputtered free. Amazement filling her eyes, she asked, “Did you just make a joke?”

    Suddenly embarrassed, he shook his head and avoided her gaze. With another shrug he muttered, “I can be funny.”

    “I see that.” Her laugh came out louder this time. He was his father’s son, preferring wordplay over Anya’s choice of sarcasm.

    “How are you holding up, Commander?” He asked as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

    “Please, Kolyat, just call me Anya.” To answer his question she stated, “Not too well. I’m going to go crazy stuck in this room.”

    “I bet.”

    An uncomfortable silence joined them. Anya had a question to ask him, but if she asked she’d reveal so much of her agony. He, like everyone else, was under the impression that she would simply wake up one morning and be back to normal.

    Not wanting to pussyfoot around it anymore, Anya just spit it out, “I need to ask you something.”

    “Okay,” he drawled out. Face turning with unease he said, “Let’s hear it.”

    Her mouth opened but the words didn’t come out. Shaking away her hesitation, she tried again. “In one human religion, when a person dies they go to one of two places. Heaven or Hell, depending on the choices they made in their life. Heaven is paradise and Hell is, well, it’s Hell.”

    “Yeah,” he nodded for her to get on with it. “I’m familiar with the concept.”

    “Well, in that religion, if a person kills themselves they lose all rights to Heaven. No matter how good of a person they were, no matter what choices they made, they’re going to Hell.” 

    She stopped there watching his expression change. He had been cautious when she’d first started the conversation. Now his expression showed his shock and horror.

    Swallowing her shame she continued, knowing that he’d know exactly what she was implying. “I wanted to know if it’s the same for drell. If someone kills themselves are they still welcomed by Kalahira into the afterlife?”

    “I –“ He shook his head. Kolyat rubbed a hand over his face. The silence that joined them was painful. “I don’t know how to answer that, Commander.”

    “Anya,” he could at least call her by her name. She was done being the commander everyone expected her to be.

    “Anya,” he corrected. Shaking his head, he struggled to find the words that would placate her. “I’m not sure that Kalahira takes anyone but drell to the sea.”

    She knew it was a bullshit answer. He didn’t want to tell her the truth. He thought that she’d do something hasty with the information. Without a definite answer, Anya couldn’t do anything. There wasn’t any certainty that there even was an afterlife, but she couldn’t take the risk without knowing.

    Thane had believed. He had promised to wait for her at the shore, and she had promised to join him. If she ended it and her eternity was spent apart from him, there would be no retribution. A lifetime without Thane would be agonizing. An afterlife without him was incomprehensible. .

    Uncomfortable, Kolyat stood from his seat and replaced it against the wall. Scratching the back of his neck he couldn’t bring himself to look at her for longer than a second. “I should go,” he murmured. “I’ll be late for work.”

    He was running away from her. She showed him the void that had taken the place of her heart, and it scared him. 

    Glaring out of the open window she whispered, “Okay,” and listened to the door close behind him.

    The only other visitors Anya had for the few hours that followed were the nurses and doctors that stopped by to check on her. The day dragged on like all the others.

    Much later into the afternoon she had another visitor; a turian with a face so scarred it drove krogan women wild. 

    “Garrus,” she greeted him as pleasantly as she could. Watching as he claimed the only available seat. Offering him a slight smile, she said, “What brings you to the loony-bin, Gare-Bear?”

    “Just visiting a friend in her time of crisis.”

    She shook her head. Looking out the window, she rebuked, “I wouldn’t call boredom a crisis, Gare.”

    His eyes narrowed as he watched her. Skipping the malarkey, he said, “Kolyat told me what you asked him. He’s worried about you, Shepard. We’re all worried about you.”

    Anya couldn’t be mad at Kolyat for sharing his concerns with Garrus. It wasn’t like she asked him to keep it between them. And even if she had, in his position she probably would have told someone as well. 

    Her teeth ached as she began to grind them. “That’s very sweet of you.” 

    She didn’t like worrying her friends or family, but Anya couldn’t help how she felt or who she was. She wasn’t the boisterous and playful girl that Garrus had first met. She wasn’t even the sardonic flirt that Thane had fallen in love with. She was now an empty vessel undeserving of life.

    Silence smothered the room as Garrus glared at her from the bedside. Anya refused to look into those stern steel eyes as he quietly scolded her behavior. She didn’t care what he thought. He didn’t understand. 

    The sea had been so close, but instead she found herself alive, broken and beaten, forbidden to return to her drell’s embrace. Why hadn’t death just claimed her? Why did life insist on holding her hostage? Clenching her teeth, Anya glared out the window again and cursed the synthetic blue sky.

    “You can’t just fall apart, Shepard.” Garrus’ voice was gentle. “The Normandy, and your team, is still missing. Earth and every other planet in the galaxy needs to be rebuilt. Yeah, we won the war. But there’s still a lot to do. We need you.”

    Shaking her head, she finally dared to brave a glance at the turian beside her. He was right. Her team was missing. The Reapers had left a wasteland in their wake. The races would need soldiers to clean up the mess and restore order. It was true but that didn’t mean that they needed her.

    “I did what I had to do, Garrus.” A tear trickled down her cheek. Meeting and holding her friend’s concerned gaze, she whispered, “The war is over. The Reapers are dead. My job is done.”

    “So, what,” his brow plates furrowed and his mandibles clicked with his frustration. “You’re just going to give up?”

    “Give up?” she scoffed. She had done that a long time ago. “I’m going to let go.”

    Anya flinched when Garrus shot out of his seat. He leaned forward, one hand on the back of the bed as he brought his face down to hers .Speaking slowly so that she wouldn’t misunderstand the extent of his anger, he growled, “Well, I’m not going to give up on you. I won’t let you die. Suck it up, Shepard.” Garrus forced her to hold his glare for a moment longer before he shoved off of the bed and allowed her to have her personal space back.

    They glared at one another for a minute, but before either of them could say another word Dr. Michel entered the room with an entourage in tow. Tearing her weary stare from her Garrus, Anya’s eyes widened at the company Chloe had brought with her. Standing in the tight fit of her over crowded room were the members of the Council.

    “Councilors,” she and Garrus stammered at the same time, straightening up.

    Dr. Michel smirked at the two of them. Speaking to Anya, she informed, “The Councilors are dropping by to give you their best.”

    “And to thank you,” the asari councilor added.

    The turian councilor agreed. “Not for the first time, we owe you our lives.”

    “So, thank you, Commander Shepard.” The salarian councilor bowed to her. “If there is anything that we can do for you, let us know.”

    Shepard blinked. This was the most unexpected visit of the day. Forcing a smile onto her lips she said, “Thank you, Councilors. I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedules to visit me.” Then, after only a moment’s consideration, she spat out, “Actually there is something you can do for me.”

    The asari councilor tilted her head with curiosity. “And what is that, Commander?”

    “Let me die.” Beside her Garrus stiffened. Dr. Michel’s eyes widened and the Councilors stood stoic as ever. An uncomfortable tension filled the room and after a second Anya added onto her request, “in the public eye. When I get out of here it’s going to be to walk right into the spotlight. I don’t want to deal with the media, or reporters, or my ‘fans’. I want my life to go back to as normal as it can.”

    “That is an understandable request,” commented the turian councilor.

    “We will consider it,” the salarian councilor assured her.

    With that dealt with, they left Anya alone with Garrus again. That was the briefest of visitations Anya had ever had, and it hadn’t ended a moment too soon. She'd never had the best  relationship with the Council, but they respected each other. Anya hoped that they did more than just consider her request.

    “What are you doing, Shepard?” Garrus shook his head incredulously. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he grumbled, “This is not what I meant by suck it up.”

    She shrugged at him, no longer in the mood to give a damn. “I’m not ready for the public eye, Gare-Bear. I doubt that I ever will be. It’s better if they think I’m dead.”

Uncrossing his arms the turian gave another disappointed shake of his head before turning towards the door. As he left he assured her, “You’re the only one who thinks that, Shepard.”


	14. Chapter 14

    “I thought you fought bad guys with Aunt Anya.” Mika was sitting on Thane’s bed, watching as he got ready for work at the inn.

    Thane glanced back at the child sitting cross-legged on the mattress. Mika was equal parts Cassandra and Michael. His skin held the same olive hue that colored Cassandra, lightly doused in a scattering of freckles he’d taken from his father. In the hazel of his irises, the brown of his mother’s eyes fought with the green of his father’s. And, though his hair was a tawny shade now, it would surely darken to auburn with time.

    Smiling at the young human he supplied, “I did, for a time. And then I was too sick to fight beside her.”

    “But you’re not sick anymore.”

    “No, I’m not,” Thane agreed.

    Mika’s expression tightened with confusion. “Then why do you work at a hotel? Shouldn’t you go back to fighting bad guys?”

    The honest answer was that Thane wasn’t yet at the peak of his fighting shape. He could easily kill a man, but there was artistry to being an assassin. Also, Thane had hits and jobs. He wasn’t a vigilante. Running Thun’s streets and fighting crime was a job for more capable men.

    To Mika he explained, “It is not my place to interfere with the work of the local authorities.”

Before the boy could voice an argument, his mother strolled past the open entryway. Retracing her steps Cassandra appeared in the doorway. Playfully arching an eyebrow she gave her son a scolding look.

    Placing a hand on her hip she said, “When I told you to get ready for school I did not mean for you to talk Thane’s ears off.”

    “He doesn’t even have ears, Mom,” Mika protested.

    “Because you’ve talked them off already,” snapping her fingers she gestured for the exit. “I want you at the table, teeth brushed and ready to go, in fifteen minutes. Got it?” Mika nodded, “Good, now scram.”

    Sighing, Mika slid off of the bed and dragged his feet to the door. Before disappearing in the hallway he said, “Bye, Thane. I’ll see you later.”

    Patting her son on the head as he passed her, Cassandra muttered, “Thane doesn’t have ears.” She scoffed. “He should be so lucky.”

    “Have a good day at school, Mika.” Thane smiled as he watched the boy leave. Looking up to meet Cassandra’s gaze, he observed, “You’ve raised a good son.”

    Cassandra grinned in agreement. Leaning against the doorway she crossed her arms as she informed him, “I’m making pancakes for breakfast. Would you like to join us before heading off?”

    Shaking his head, he apologized, “Thank you, but I have already eaten.”

    A smirk twisted her lips. In a teasing tone she wondered, “How much sleep do you get anyway? You’re always up before the ass crack of dawn, and I don’t get to feed you.”

    Returning her smirk with a smile, he shrugged as he replied, “I don’t typically need any more than four hours of sleep.”

    A disbelieving chuckle parted her smiling lips. “That beats my recommended dose of a nightly fourteen hours.” Uncrossing her arms, Cassandra pushed herself off of the doorway and righted her stance. Her smile turned departing as she took a step backwards into the hall. “Dinner’s at 19:00. Have a good day at work.” Following a thank you from Thane she left to go prepare breakfast for her family.

    After a quick goodbye to both Michael and baby Ana, Thane traded the apartment for the oppressing Zorian heat. It was a brisk walk from the building to the inn. His hurried pace shortening the time spent inhaling the foul smelling air.

    Turning onto one final left and the inn appeared around the corner. Thane walked his usual path to the side entrance, cutting through the well-groomed grass to shave a few more seconds off the time. Fresh cool air greeted him as the door opened.

    An uneasy feeling unfolded in his gut. The air was too still and the inn was too quiet. The atmosphere was strained, an unknown stressor darkening the building’s ambiance. With soundless footfalls Thane was a wraith in the shadows.

    Silently scouting the interior of the inn, his investigation led him towards the kitchen. The open entryway allowed light to freely spill into the hall. Voices carried into the corridor, an irritated conversation drawing Thane nearer to the source.

    From his peripheral vision he noticed a movement. A hand reached out to grab his arm. Instinct reacted before reason. In one quiksilver motion Thane turned away from his attacker’s reach, placed a viselike grip on the delicate wrist and twisted their arm behind their back. 

Shoving the batarian into the wall Thane blinked and realized who his would-be attacker was.

    Immediately releasing his hold on her wrist, Thane turned her to face him. “Neelah?” he whispered.

    Blinking away the shock of Thane’s aggressive greeting, Neelah placed a finger on her lips. With a wave of her hand she gestured for him to follow her away from the kitchen. Before Thane could comply, the ongoing conversation caught his attention.

    A low batarian growl echoed in the corridor.  “There aren’t a lot of drell on Zorya, Niall. We know he works for your grandmother and that he lives here. Borahk just wants to talk to him.”

    “I’m not denying knowing him, but he doesn’t live here anymore.” Niall’s vibrating voice also came out of the kitchen, sounding annoyed with the batarian in question. “Borahk is a rat and a cheat. He wants you to hunt down some nameless drell and rough him up because he knows that you can get away with it.”

    “Borahk is my cousin,” the batarian warned. After a brief moment of consideration, Niall’s companion conceded. “The drell made him feel threatened. He’ll get over it. In the meantime make sure he stays out of the market.”

    Carefully placing her hand on Thane’s arm, Neelah gave him a gentle tug. When Thane nodded she led him through a maze of halls until she paused in front of a door. Pulling open the door to the storage room she revealed the elder Artacus waiting for them there.

    “Good, you found him.” Dacia’s mandibles flicked with her relief.

    “I nearly lost my arm in the process,” Neelah joked. “But, yes, I found him.”

    Before Dacia could say anything else, Thane turned to the young batarian woman and took her wrist into his hand. Inspecting her arm for any bruises, he fervently apologized. “Please forgive me, Neelah. I reacted without thought. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

    Resting a placating hand on top of his, she shook her head. “I was more shocked than anything.” When Thane removed his fingers from her arm her smile turned reassuring. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.”

    She was fine, but she didn’t know the damage he could have caused if he hadn’t realized who she was when he did. 

    Neelah had accepted his apology, there wasn’t anything else to be done in regards to her. He returned his attention to the turian elder waiting for them to finish.

    “I did not mean to bring you any trouble, Dacia.” The batarian was harassing the Artacus family because of him. Had they not known him they wouldn’t have had to deal with this. Thane was indebted to her kindness and hospitality. Bringing batarian thugs to her doorstep wasn’t the repayment that he’d had in mind.

    “It’s no trouble,” with a wave of her talons she dismissed his apology. “A little excitement every now and then keeps me young.” Eyes taking a more serious note she continued, “You should take the next few days off. I can’t, in good conscious, allow you to work when I know that the Blue Suns are looking for you here.”

    “Borahk is nursing his wounded ego,” Neelah explained. “You made him feel threatened in front of the entire market place and now he’s pouting. Just give it a few days and everything will go back to normal.”

    Thane nodded. He would stay away for as long as was necessary. He still felt terrible for this falling onto Dacia and her family, but he was grateful for her help. With a bow he walked past the women for the exit that led outside. The door opened with a whisper, allowing the oppressive waterlogged heat to intrude upon their conversation.

    Before he left he turned to Dacia and made a  request, “Thank Niall for me.” The young turian didn’t like Thane very much and he had still stood in his defense. It was yet another debt that Thane would be unable to repay.

    “I will,” Dacia patted his arm, a tender look in her golden flecked eyes. “I’ll see you in a few days.” He caught her small smile before the door shut between them.

     Thane’s return to the apartment building was lengthier as he had to avoid cutting through the market. Ducking past Blue Sun mercenaries, his return went without incident. After a jog up the three flights of stairs, he quickly entered the pass-code into the yellow screen that warned him that the door was locked.

    The mouthwatering scent of baking cookies greeted him as he entered the apartment. Cassandra was a stay at home mother with a fondness for cooking. If Thane wasn’t careful he would likely end up with a stomach as big as her heart.

    Pausing at the entry, Thane listened to the feel of the apartment. Both Cassandra and Michael were home, their scents the freshest. Aside from the smell, was the mood that darkened the typically happy home. The air was heavy with anxiety.

    Without announcing his arrival, Thane strode through the apartment in search of the source of the uneasiness. The hunt was a quick one as he strode into Michael’s study. The man was seated at his desk, the ANN playing in background as he listened intently.

    Michael’s auburn brows were furrowed with nervousness. His face was hidden behind steepled fingers as he was lost to the world around him. Sitting on her husband’s desk, Cassandra had a hand placed on Michael’s shoulder as if to comfort him. There was sadness in her expression, a look that forebode something terrible.

    She noticed Thane’s arrival first. Honey colored eyes widening in surprise, she greeted him with a whisper, “Thane.”

    “What’s wrong?” Thane took a cautious step forward. Michael hadn’t so much as lifted his gaze to acknowledge Thane’s entrance, too focused on the news segment to care about anything else.

    Cassandra glanced down at her husband. When she looked back up to Thane there were tears in her gaze, glistening with a grief that needed no words. “It’s Anya,” she said.

    His breath hitched. Chest too tight to draw breath, Thane waited for her to explain. Cassandra tore her gaze from him and looked down at her husband. He would receive no answers from her. Daring to find his own clarification, he strode the few steps that brought him closer to the desk and listened.

    “. . . _We have received confirmed reports that Alliance Marine and the first human Specter, Commander Anya Shepard was pronounced dead today. At the age of thirty-one she had spent the last thirteen years serving not only humanity but the entire galaxy. We will feel the loss of this great hero for years to come. She will be remembered, and will live on in our hearts_ . . .”

    Thane blinked. The memory played over and over in his mind, each repetition making less sense than the last. He had been following his Siha’s recovery. The moment he had access to the information he had listened religiously. She’d been critical for a while. But the doctors were able to stabilize her. One had even assured them all that, though it was too soon to tell, the chances of her recovering seemed promising.

    This was not the way their story was supposed to play. He hadn’t been brought back from the dead only to have Anya die instead. Thane had an entire life to offer her, and she had died before he would even get the chance.

    Michael’s fist suddenly crashed down on the desk, making Cassandra flinch away from him. “How many times do I have to mourn my sister?” his roaring voice demanded.

    Arms wrapping around her husband, Cassandra pulled him to her chest and pet back his hair. Tears fell freely from her eyes as she rocked him back and forth.

    Without a word, Thane left them and retreated to his room. They would find comfort in each other’s arms, as he would find comfort in solitude. The door shut behind him. He began to pace the floor, emotions rioting inside of him like boiling water. Anger and agony clawed at his chest, fighting for freedom.

    The gods were cruel, malicious beings. How many Siha’s did he have to lose before they were satisfied? At least, with Irikah’s death, he had been offered the comfort of vengeance. He had hunted her killers down like animals, and he had made them know his pain.

    But there could be no vengeance for Anya. She had already destroyed her killers. Anya had taken her own vengeance before succumbing to her injuries. She was dead and he hadn’t even said goodbye.

    The weight of his anguish finally brought him to his knees. A tormented roar fought its way out of him, its talons cutting his throat as he screamed. Inside his ribcage the muscle pumping him with life shattered. This was a pain he knew well. This suffering was more familiar to him than the happiness he and Anya had briefly shared.

    In time his cries weakened. The pain of his sorrow was debilitating, but he could bear it in silence. Hours passed before he could move. Thane scraped himself off of the ground and dragged his body towards the bed. Pulling himself up onto the mattress, he buried his face in his hands.

    Outside of the door a hushed conversation snuck into his room.

    “Don’t,” Cassandra’s tone was urgent and sympathetic. “Give him some more time.”

    “He needs to know,” Michael’s voice revealed that he would not see reason. A knock quickly announced the end of the discussion.

    Summoning the will to move, Thane forced himself onto his feet. He opened the door and found both Michael and Cassandra standing there waiting for him. Their faces were red, burned by the heat of their freshly fallen tears. It shouldn’t have comforted Thane as much as it did. They knew his pain and felt the loss as deeply as he did. He wouldn’t wish this suffering upon anyone, yet was glad to know that he wasn’t alone.

    When Thane didn’t voice a greeting Michael was the one who spoke. “There’s something you should see.” Turning he returned to his study without looking back to see if Thane would follow.

    Cassandra watched him for a second, inspecting his features with her watery gaze. Gesturing for Thane to follow her husband, she went the opposite direction towards the kitchen. She wouldn’t walk the way with him; this was a journey that he would have to face alone.

    With a sigh he took a reluctant step forward. What was left of his heart could not take much more of this brutality. Slowly making the trek to Michael’s study he found Anya’s brother standing beside his desk. The computer terminal was on, the screen beckoning him. Meeting Michael’s gaze he waited for the human to explain.

    Michael glanced down at the terminal, new tears sliding down his cheeks as he held his eyes shut. “Anya sent me a message before London and I think that you should read it.” Opening his eyes he looked up at Thane, his misery blatant for him to see. “You need to know how much she loved you.” With another fleeting look at his workstation he walked past Thane and left him with the glowing screen.

    Hesitation kept him from moving. His mind warned him that this would only double his pain. His heart didn’t care. Thane quickly crossed the room. Sitting in Michael’s chair he read the message pulled up on the screen.

_         Kael, _

_ Do you remember that time that Derk Freeman stuffed you into a footlocker for an entire afternoon? When I finally found you, you were so happy to see me that you couldn’t stop crying. I hunted Jerk Freeloader down and kicked his ass so badly that Dad grounded me for the rest of the year._

_ I’m about to go kick down Cerberus’ front door, and all I can think about is what you said to me that day. “Banana, someday I’ll be big enough to fight your bullies.” Who knew that my bullies would be big enough to destroy entire populations of people? Am I right, little bro?_

_ Truth is, Kael, I never would have let you fight my battles. When we were kids it was my job to protect you. Now that we’re adults it’s my job to protect the entire goddamn galaxy. It has always been my job; that’s why I was put here._

_ I was never meant to have what you have. This shit-storm fell to me so that you could have a chance. I never realized it until now. You get to have a full life, Kael. What you and Cassandra have is everything that I’ve ever wanted. And I want to thank you for letting me have it through you._

_ There have been a lot of close calls in my career, but I can safely say that this is it for me. Do you want to know a secret? I couldn’t be happier. I’m so done with it all. I never stood a chance. Kaidan was never going to be my Cassandra, and then I met Thane and I dared to hope._

_ Gods, I was such an idiot. Hope; what a joke. I finally realized what it is that you and Cassandra have. I felt it, that world shattering love you tried to explain to me when you first met her. I had imagined up this fairytale life that I would have with him, like I’d forgotten that he was dying. And then Kai Leng took him from me. I swear to any and every god there is, I am going to make him pay for killing Thane. If it is the last thing I do, I am going to bleed him dry._

_ When Thane died so did I. There’s only enough fight left in me to get this done. Whatever happens remember that I love you, little brother. Tell Cassandra and the babies that I won this for them._

_ There’s a drell waiting for me on a seashore, and I’ve kept him waiting long enough._

_                                                                                                                            Your loving sister, _

_                                                                                                                                Anya Bananya _

    He had betrayed her. When Kalahira welcomed his Siha across the sea he would not be there to meet her. His promise was as broken as his heart. Thane pulled himself out of the chair and returned to the seclusion of his room. The words of the message were now with him always. He would not forget that his death had been the death of her. He would not forget that he had failed her just as he had failed Irikah.

*

    Dr. Eve was a cool tempered woman with the patience of a saint. She was well aged and in many ways she reminded Anya of Karin Chakwas.

    There was a perpetual softness to her warm brown eyes. Long silken strands of white and grey hair were loosely braided over her shoulder. Anya had never been the greatest fan of shrinks, but Dr. Eve was so similar to her mother that she couldn’t bring herself to dislike the woman.

    “The nurses tell me that you’ve been having nightmares.” Her tone was professional, kind but not overly friendly. “Is it something that you want to talk about?”

    Anya bit back the immediate no. Either she talked to the shrink or she got fitted for a straight jacket and found herself in a padded room. Wasting away in the insanity ward was not how she pictured spending her retirement now that she was alive.

    Contemplating her cuffed wrists, she answered, “They’re about Thane. I always dream about Thane.”

    The doctor nodded, “What about him?” she asked as she jotted down notes on an old fashioned note pad.

    She didn’t want to talk about it, but forced the words out of her mouth anyway. “I dream that we’re together again.” Her voice lowered to a whisper, “And that he’s happy.”

    “Are you happy in these dreams?”

    “Of course I am. Thane’s alive and I’m with him. I couldn’t be happier.”

    “At what point does your dream turn into a nightmare?”

    “He wants to know where I am, why I haven’t joined him yet. And then he leaves me.” Shutting her eyes she recalled the image of him. His dark gaze had regarded her with such disdain.

    Dr. Eve watched her for a moment, silently observing Anya’s body language. “Where does he go?”

    “Back to the sea, when I try to follow him all that’s left is blackness.”  It was an all consuming blackness that threatened to eat her whole. Each night it drew her nearer; soon she would be consumed by it.

    “I’ve done some digging around on Thane. He was your boyfriend, was he not?”

    Anya scoffed. Boyfriend; how juvenile that sounded. Her voice rasped, “He was so much more to me than that.”

    “Do you want to join him across the sea?”

    “Yes,” she had been honest thus far. What point was there to lie to the doctor now?

    A small smile lifted the corners of Dr. Eve’s mouth, as if she appreciated the honesty. “Your wrists aren’t red anymore. Why have you stopped struggling against your restraints?”

    Anya’s real answer? She didn’t know if Kalahira accepted suicides across the sea. The answer she gave was one she stole from a young drell wiser than his years. “I’ll have an eternity with Thane. I only have a lifetime with my family.”

    The doctor’s smile grew with surprise. “That is an unexpectedly positive attitude, Commander.”

    Her shoulders jumped with a shrug. They weren’t her words, and it wasn’t her attitude, but if it would please the doctor she would say just about anything.

    Dr. Eve glanced down at the delicate silver watch adorning her thin wrist. Smiling she said, “Unfortunately our time is up for today. I feel like we’re making some real progress. That being said, I’m going to inform Dr. Michel that I think that you’re ready to be released from your restraints.” Noticing the hopeful look in Anya’s eyes she added, “Now I want you to keep in mind that if you do anything to harm yourself or the staff, the cuffs are coming right back on. Am I understood, Commander?”

    “Yes, Dr. Eve, Sir.” Anya would have saluted had she had the use of her arms.

    Standing from her seat Dr. Eve straightened her skirt and gave Anya a warm departing smile. “I’ll be back next week for another session. See you then.”

    A minute or so after the doctor left a nurse strolled into the room and began to undo Anya’s shackles.

    Rubbing her wrists Anya murmured, “Thank you.”

    “It’s my pleasure, Commander.” The nurse smiled at her. There was a friendly, almost familiar, air about her. “They’re coming off just in time, too. You have a visitor.”

    When Anya asked, “Who?” but the nurse replied with a wordless grin, and left her with her unanswered question.

    A frown hung on her lips as she watched the girl go. Ever since she’d first woken up the nurses had shied away from Anya, scared of getting caught in the crosshairs of her gruff temperament. The young woman’s friendly smile was unusual.

    Then the reason for the curious behavior walked through the door. A tall older man with salt and pepper hair filled the room with his militant confidence. His build suggested that in his prime he had been a force of nature. Even now he stood as a force to be reckoned with.

    “Dad?” Anya pulled herself higher on the bed, fighting the wince from her face. Gods, her ribs still hurt like hell. “What are you doing here?”

    A normal father would have replied, ‘I’m here to check on my daughter. I came as soon as I could. Sorry that I didn’t come sooner, work kept me away.’

    What her father said was, “The Councilors wanted to speak to me in regards to the reconstruction effort.”

    It took everything she had to not roll her eyes at him. With an incredulous shake of her head she clarified, “So you were in the neighborhood, then.” Michael Shepard Senior narrowed his evergreen eyes at her, but before he could rebuke, she asked, “Where’s Mom?”

    “She’s on Mars with the science team that’s trying to repair the mass relay.”

    Anya nodded. It was just like her parents to stay where the action was. “Are you going to join her?”

    “In time,” he replied. Her father grabbed the chair from against the wall and set it down at her bedside. As he sat he said, “For now, I’ll take a moment to be with my daughter.”

    Her shock was incapacitating. For a second it was all she could do to breathe. Who was this man and what had he done to her father? Michael Shepard Senior did not demonstrate love or concern; at least not to his eldest daughter.

    He watched her as she struggled to formulate an appropriate response. When she couldn’t find one his abnormally soft voice muttered, “I almost lost you, Anya.” Senior Shepard took a tight hold of her hand and squeezed. Dark green eyes searching her face, he continued, “I almost lost you and I didn’t even tell you how much I love you or how proud I am of you.”

    “Dad,” Anya turned her gaze away from him. Tears appeared at the base of her vision. There were a great many things that she could handle, her father’s genuine kindness and affection was not one of them. Shaking her head she tried to plead, “Please don’t.”

    The hold he had on her hand tightened. Scooting closer, he tried to get her to look at him. “I know that I’ve been a lackluster father, Anya.” He brought her knuckles to his lips and gave them a kiss before continuing, “I wasn’t supportive enough of you or your brother. I let too many things go unsaid. You already died once and I didn’t say anything to let you know that I adore you. I should have tried harder; I would never forgive myself if I let that happen again.”

    With her free hand she wiped away the tears that had dared to fall onto her cheeks. Admiral Shepard had never been one for tears, he enjoyed discussing feelings even less. Anya bit her lip as she fought for control over her emotions. She and her father never had the best verbal relationship. They understood each other on a wordless base level, but didn’t see eye to eye on a great many things. She couldn’t recall a single time that he had talked to her like this.

    She wanted to stop his verbal assault on her emotions. “You don’t have to say any of this.”

    With a shake of his head he argued, “Yes I do.” Evergreen eyes softened at the sight of her duress. “Before I thought that I didn’t have to say anything. We always understood each other without saying a word. Then you sent me that message prior to London,” Shepard Senior shut his eyes, a single tear rolled down his cheek. “The war was going to kill you and you were glad. I was going to lose my little girl again and I hadn’t said one word to you in almost a year. Your mother has always been better with words than me. But here it is,” he took a breath.

    “I’ve had many proud moments in my lifetime, and none of them compare to how proud I am of you. You’ve done more during your time of service then I’ve done in my entire life. I was so hard on you while you were growing up. You were our first and I wanted to make sure that you had our military values; but I forgot the importance of family values along the way.”

    “That’s not true,” she protested, hardly able to draw in breath. Realizing that she had to live without Thane was painful, but witnessing her father like this came in a very close second. “I know how important family is.”

    “It is true,” his fingers reached out to her cheek and wiped away the fresh flood of tears. “You learned that on your own; and I’m sorry for that.” Bringing her knuckles back up to his lips he placed another kiss on them. “I’ve been given another chance to fix the rift between us. I won’t miss it this time. I wasn’t there for you while you were growing up, but I’m here now. I was never good at the softer things, but for you I’m going to try. I love you, Anya. You’ll always be my baby girl.”

    “I love you too, Dad.”

    All her life that was all she had wanted to hear from her father. She had never actually expected the words from him. What she had said to Dr. Eve suddenly started to ring true. If life meant that she’d get another chance with her father then maybe she could suffer through it for him.


	15. Chapter 15

    Shepard was conflicted. She couldn’t decide whether she preferred not feeling her legs at all or the unbearable pain the appendages were now causing her. On one hand, Anya was no longer purposefully paralyzed from the waist down, but on the other hand, her current level of discomfort made her wish she was.

    During her long military career she had sustained a plethora of injuries. Recovery time, and recovery pain, was nothing new to her. Struggle and challenge had always been a part of her day to day, but now her confidence wavered at the thought of the challenge her recovery posed. Anya no longer felt up to the task of bouncing back with the enthusiasm she was known for. Call her a coward, but she just couldn’t muster the will to even fake it.

    Gaze wandering down to the plastic-ware beside her plated lunch, Anya picked up the knife and tested her thumb along its dully serrated edge. If she snapped it at the right angle it would be sharp enough to break skin. After that, her options were unlimited. She could puncture her jugular, or drag it down the inside of her forearm; it would be easy. The only challenge would be in dying before she could be saved.

    As she tested the knife’s flexibility, her omni-tool dinged. An incoming message derailed her train of thoughts. With a sigh, she flicked on the device and quickly read the short text.

_ Anya, _

_ Duty pulled me away sooner than I expected. I’m on Mars, helping your mother with the science team; but I promise to be back soon._

_ I know things are tough right now, but you’re made of stern stuff. Fight through it like you fight through everything else; and if you feel like you can’t fight, just remember that I know you can._

_  
_

_                                                                                                             Your Father, _

_                                                                                                             Admiral Michael Shepard _

_ P.S. _

_ You’re mother sends her love. _

    Shutting her eyes, Anya set the knife back down beside her plate. This newly found relationship with her father was going to be the death of her – or life of her, as it would seem.

    No matter how often she thought about death, and she thought about it often, Anya could never bring herself to follow through with it. If it wasn’t perfectly timed messages from her father, it was the uncertainty of whether or not her soul would be accepted across the sea if she took her own life. It was a risk she just couldn’t take.

    A light knock on the door frame abducted her from her thoughts. She looked up to find a young woman with short dark brown hair, and big blue eyes, smiling at her from the doorway.

    “Good afternoon, Commander.”

    Anya forced a small smile onto her lips. “Oriana,” it wasn’t much of a greeting, but it was all she had in her. “What are you doing here?”

    Oriana Lawson walked into the room until she was standing at Anya’s bedside. Her grin was unwavering. “I heard that you’ve got your legs back, and it gave me the _best_ idea.” Her smile widened. “You’re probably going stir crazy. I bet some fresh air will do you some good.”

    “I’ve got feeling in my legs,” she clarified. “But I don’t think I’ll be waltzing out of this room any time soon.”

    Oriana laughed at the thought. “Who needs to waltz when you can roll?”

    Without any further ado, Kolyat entered the room, pushing a wheelchair. There was a small smile on his lips that brightened his entire face; bringing Anya’s attention to the small gash right above his blue scaled brow that was knitted together by a scab. The cerulean color hidden in his large black eyes watched Anya for her reaction, and for him she pulled her lips into a bigger smile.

    “Kolyat,” it was just one surprise after the other. Glancing between the two of them, Anya observed, “I didn’t know you both knew each other.”

    “We don’t,” said Kolyat at the same time that Oriana replied, “We didn’t.”

    Giving the drell beside her a coy glance, Oriana continued, “Up until recently, we didn’t know each other.”

    Anya looked both of them over again. They were acting strangely. The pale tone of Oriana’s crème skin had a slight pinkish hue to it. Standing rigidly at her side, Kolyat refused to even breathe. He stood so stiff he might as well have been made of stone. Eyes betraying him, he couldn’t help his frequent glances to the girl next to him.

    If she were in a better mood she would have grinned at the pair and laughed at their awkward adolescent behavior. Irritable as she was, though, Anya simply raised an eyebrow and wondered, “Does this have anything to do with that cut on your face?”

    Kolyat automatically reached up to his brow to feel the injury in question. Beside him, Oriana glanced over. There was a fondness in her blue eyes, a recalling smile at the edges of her lips.

    Oriana wouldn’t have been able to hide her blush even if she tried. Her color deepened until her face burned red. Unabashed, she grinned in reply to Anya’s knowing smirk.  Less graceful than his female counterpart, Kolyat’s refusal to meet anyone’s gaze was tell enough.

    “Kolyat has been spending too much time with you, Commander.” Oriana said in way of explanation. “Your heroics are starting to rub off on him, aren’t they, Mr. Krios?” Her grin grew from ear to ear when Kolyat refused to look either female in the eyes.

    Closely examining the young man, Anya was the one who answered Oriana’s question. “He gets his heroics from his parents.” With a shake of her head she turned her gaze from them and stared down at her untouched plate. 

    “The only thing he’s ever gotten from me is a headache.”

    Miranda’s sister laughed as though Anya had made a joke. Before  the moment could become any more awkward, she said, “I’m going to go grab a nurse to help us break you out of here.” She left them with a teasing grin, “Don’t go anywhere.”

    Shuffling his feet uncomfortably, Kolyat lasted a total of five seconds under the scrutiny of Anya’s gaze before he broke. “What? I ran into her on my way to see you.” His tone was as defensive as the scowl on his lips. “She thought that it would be good for you to get some fresh air, and invited herself. I couldn’t stop her even if I wanted to.”

    “I didn’t say anything.” Anya fought the smirk from her lips.

    Kolyat threw his arms up in exaggerated exasperation. 

    “You didn’t have to.”

    Before she could respond, Oriana strode into the room, grinning as a human and turian orderly followed suit. The pair gently helped her from the bed and into the wheelchair. After a quick debriefing on how she was to take it easy, a quip from Oriana about popping wheelies, and several head shakes from Kolyat, the nurses abandoned Shepard to the young pair.

    “Before we go,” Oriana’s grin persisted as she placed a pill into Anya’s palm. To the questioning look Anya gave her, she elaborated, “It will temporarily change your complexion. You’re supposed to be dead; it’s best we keep your adoring public unaware that they’ve been lied to.”

    From behind Oriana, Kolyat inquired, “You just carry those pills around with you?” There was a disconcerted pinch to his brows as he gave her a questioning look.

    “No,” She snipped in response to his disagreeable tone. “I had already planned to visit Shepard, if you _must_ know. Running into you was an unpleasant surprise.”

    Shocked, his eyes widened at her words. Schooling his features of the telling expression, he rebuked, “Even more so for me.”

    “Good, I’m glad.”

    “Kids, please.” Anya was going to strangle both of them by the end of this adventure, she just knew it. “The cripple doesn’t want to have to put either of you in a choke hold; but if you keep at it I swear to the gods I will.”

    A smirk twisted the corners of Kolyat’s mouth, an expression similar to one his father would use when he was teasing her. “I’d like to see you try, gimp.”

    “Don’t test me, Kolyat. It’s my legs that are useless. My arms are working just fine.”

    “There will be no choke holding,” Oriana intervened before Anya had to make good on her word. “We are going to have a great afternoon,” she looked at Kolyat, her eyes narrowing, “Whether you like it or not.”

    Grabbing the wheelchair by the handles she pushed Shepard out of her room and toward the elevator. Kolyat noiselessly followed close behind.

    Anya looked at her hands in her lap, shocked to see that they were no longer the lightly tanned color they had always been. Her skin appeared to have been repeatedly dunked in a tub of bleach, and then painted over with several coats of white. If she became anymore pale she would be translucent.

    “This is only temporary, right?” she asked Oriana as she inspected her pale skin.

    Oriana assured her, “Right,” chipper as ever.

    “How long is temporary?”

    “Long enough for us to enjoy an afternoon on the Presidium,” her laugh sounded from just over Shepard’s head.

    Satisfied with her answer, Anya looked up from her pale skin to watch their passing surroundings. The elevators were still as slow as she remembered. It was a dawdling yet short journey from Huerta to the Presidium.

    The sound of rippling water welcomed them as they stepped out of the elevator. Pools of filtering water stretched out across the greenery. Scents from carefully selected, and cared for, plants snuck into her lungs as Anya breathed in the fresh air. Above their heads, bird songs filled the serene quiet.

    It was a calming place, if somewhat unnatural. Their surroundings were beautiful, a glamour of nature to soften the space station’s cold bulkheads. It all felt as fake as the smile Anya forced onto her face for the benefit of her friends and family. She didn’t know if it was her new jaded demeanor that shadowed the Presidium’s beauty, or if the place had simply lost its magic.

    As Oriana parked her chair beside a water facing bench, Anya decided to overlook her foul mood, at least for a moment, and try to enjoy the pseudo daylight.

    “Anyone up for some ice cream?” asked Oriana as she smiled at their surroundings. When neither Shepard nor Kolyat responded she said, “I’m buying.”

    Glancing first to Kolyat, Anya looked up from him to the young woman standing slightly behind her. With a small smile she acquiesced. “I could go for a drink of water.”

    With a nod Oriana repeated, “Some water and a chocolate ice cream coming right up, Commander.” Rolling her eyes, her gaze landed on Kolyat. Sighing, Oriana crossed her arms as she begrudgingly inquired, “Anything for you?”

    “Are you going to poison it if I ask?”

    “No,” she snipped, “I’d more likely sprinkle some dirt on it, if anything.”

    He took a seat on the bench beside Anya’s chair, and replied, “Well in that case, I’ll pass.”

    “Suit yourself,” Oriana shrugged before leaving them to the silence of the Presidium.

    Neither of them said anything for a moment, satisfied to sit in the company of the false peace of their false surroundings. Turning to look at Kolyat, Anya’s heart constricted with emotions she didn’t think she’d ever shake.

    Gods, how he looked like his father; it was the small things, like the corners of his mouth and the shape of his nose. It was the way his inner lids fluttered when he was flustered. Thane Krios had been a difficult man to fluster, but there was a time or two that Anya had made those inner lids flutter.

    Smiling sadly to herself, she took in another breath before asking, “So are you going to tell me how the both of you met, or am I going to have to make up a story?”

    The smirk that pulled his lips also tugged on her heart. Thane had had a similarly pensive simper. “I don’t think even you could make it up, Shepard.” When he glanced over in time to catch her frown, he corrected, “Anya.”

    Moments passed and Kolyat still hadn’t offered her a legitimate explanation. Rubbing the annoyed twitch from under her eye, Anya stated, “If you don’t tell me I’m sure she will.” She had long since lost her patience for Kolyat’s spartan mode of conversation. If the only way to talk to him now was with threats of embarrassing confrontation, then so be it.

    He hesitated, “You’re not going to drop this, are you?”

    “Not a chance,” her grin was the most genuine it had been all day. “I have an interest in both parties involved. And, after having to fight to get this much out of you, I’m invested.”

    Exhaling heavily, Kolyat wiped a hand over his face. “Sometimes you act so much like my mother that if I had any hair I’d rip it all out.”

    Shepard froze, startled by his statement and confused by what he meant by it. Blinking away her surprise, she decided to not address the comment at all. “Well?”

    “A turian was giving her a hard time,” he relented with a growl. “I stepped in to help, got my ass handed to me, and she patched me up.”

    “Asking her out for a drink wouldn’t do it for you?” She teased. “Is ‘go big or go home’ typically your dating style, or is she special?”

    Rubbing the notched scales at the top of his head, he grumbled, “See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. You always make me feel . . .” Kolyat shook his head, “Never mind.”

    No, he couldn’t start a statement like that and just leave her guessing. “I make you feel what?” Anya dreaded what would come next.

    “You make me feel like a kid,” he glanced in her direction, mustering the courage to look her in the eye. “I have a job and my own apartment. Yeah, I’m still figuring things out, but I think I’ve earned a little more respect from you.”

    Anya frowned, unable to hide the surprise from her features. “Kolyat, I had no idea I was making you feel that way.” Her fingers twitched with her desire to take him by the hand, an urge she resisted. “You’re an adult and I know it. I didn’t mean to make you feel like anything less.”

    She began the unconscious habit of chewing on her bottom lip. “You’re not a kid. What you are is the only connection that I have left to your father, and I never intended to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry, Kolyat.”

    He shifted in his seat, embarrassed by the sincerity of her apology. “It’s not a big deal,” he tried to shrug off the severity of Anya’s expression. “I just – you don’t joke around with anyone else, and I never expected for us to be close enough for that.”

    When Kolyat was the one to reach and wrap her hand in his, Anya looked up from their fingers to meet his gaze. “You’re the only thing that I have left of my father too. I don’t have much experience with humans, and your opinion matters to me.”

    The small smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth was mirrored on Kolyat’s face as well. Before she could reply Oriana’s happy voice rejoined the conversation.

    “I’m back!” Glancing between Anya and Kolyat, her smile fell. “What did I miss?”

    “Kolyat was telling me how the both of you met,” explained Anya as she accepted both the bottled water and chocolate ice cream from Oriana.

    Her grin returned, bigger and brighter than ever. “Did you tell her how I saved you from that big bad turian?” She handed him a green tea flavored ice cream.

    “Is that what happened?” Kolyat accepted the frozen treat from Oriana and scooted over to make some room on the bench for her. “Because that’s not how I remember it, and I have perfect memory.”

    “Maybe a smack over the head with my violin case will jog your perfect memory,” she teased as she bumped Kolyat on the shoulder.

    Anya smiled at the young pair, warmed by the sight of them. It was for them that she had fought, and it was for them that she would live. Kolyat wasn’t a kid, and he wasn’t her kid, but he was family and she’d find a way to survive this for him.

*

    The sound of faint whimpering stirred Thane from his sleep, waking him to the darkness of his night shadowed room. Sitting up, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and listened. When the whimpering continued he pulled himself out of bed and stepped into the dark hallway. Turning a corner, he pushed open the door to the nursery, locating the source of the discontented mewling.

    He soundlessly approached the crib, careful to not disturb the infant any further. Within the wooden enclosure a tiny human fussed, her small fists jerked and her bottom lip quivered as the water works threatened to spill over.

    “What is troubling you, little angel?” wondered Thane as he lifted her into his arms. Ana’s large, glossy eyes stared up at him, imploring him to relieve her misery. “Have you gone too long without being fawned over?” The little baby hushed at the low rumble of Thane’s whispered voice. He couldn’t help the smile that grew on his lips.

    Paternal instinct took over the moment her sulk deepened into a frown. It had been many years since Kolyat was a baby, but fatherhood was an instinct as near to him as his assassin training. Thane quickly checked then changed her diaper before giving her a cool bottle with water.

    Lightly drumming on Ana’s back, Thane hummed softly to the infant as he tried to persuade her to find sleep again. After almost an hour, he peeked to where her head was resting on his shoulder and was met with a pair of very observant, very awake, green eyes.

    “Are you not tired, my sleepless beauty?” Thane took a seat in the rocking chair and stared down at the cheeky infant. She gazed up at him, her eyes were curiously familiar. They were a rich shade of emerald he had seen in only one other person. His breath hitched as he was thrown into a memory.

    _ The smell of disinfectant fills his lungs as he breathes in the hospital air. The room is painted a calming crème tone, accented with a deeper shade of brown. Beside him, Michael desires his attention._

_ _

_ His relation to Anya is undeniable. They share the same dark auburn hair color, though Anya’s leans more towards crimson. His eyes are green like hers, just a deeper pine shade where hers are bright like emeralds. The siblings also have similar strong jaw lines, and mischievous smirks._

_ _

_ “Do you have any kids, Thane?” wonders Michael, stealing Thane from his wandering thoughts._

_ _

_ Offering Michael a small smile, he answers, “A son, though he has not been a child for some time now.”_

_ _

_ Michael’s replying grin contains a playfulness that Anya shares. “They never really do grow up, though, do they?”_

_ _

_ “They grow up faster than you can imagine.” Thane gazes at the baby cradled in Anya’s arms and his smile grows. “But you never forget how small they used to be, or how terribly they depended on you.”_

_ _

_ His attention lifts from baby Ana to the woman who holds her in her arms. There is a melancholy that shrouds over Anya, tightening her shoulders and pinching her features. From this distance he can see the moisture in her eyes, a look of loss that she’s failing to hide. That expression needs no explanation._

_ _

_ Anya is mourning the family she fears she will never have. She had mistakenly divulged too much when she’d first received Michael’s message. Admitting that she’s afraid that she’ll never have a family of her own; Anya had shrugged off Thane’s arguments with false assurances that her team is family enough for her. The way she is staring down at the baby is evidence enough to the contrary._

_ _

_ Before Thane can move to offer Anya comfort, the rest of the Normandy team enters the room to see the newest addition to the Shepard family._

    High pitched laughter brought Thane back from the memory and he was greeted by a grinning baby. Her small fingers were reaching out to him, feeling the texture of his scaly cheek.

    “Were you remembering when your son was that size?” Michael was leaning on the doorway, watching Thane as he handled his daughter.

    Thane returned Ana to her father when Michael strode into the room and reached for her. Shaking his head, he replied, “Your sister, actually. I was remembering the first time that we met Ana.” He watched as Michael cradled the baby, rocking her back and forth as he waited for Thane to elaborate.

    The smile that had snuck onto Thane’s lips at the sight of them fell as he explained. “Anya had always wanted a family, and it bothered me that I wouldn’t be able to give her one. I was dying, with only months to offer her.” Thane shook his head. “I now have an entire life to share and the gods take her from me.”

    Michael placed Ana on the rug, amid a scattering of her toys. As he watched his daughter pick up a stuffed rabbit and put its ear in her mouth, he said, “For as long as I can remember, Anya had always said that having a family was my responsibility. I knew she wanted one, but I could never imagine her outside of her military career. Now that she’s gone all I can think about is that I’ll never get to be an uncle.” He coughed out a humorless laugh and scratched his stubble. “That sounds so selfish, but Anya deserved to have her own family. She would have made a great mother.”

    Watching Ana nibble on her stuffed animal, Thane muttered. “Only few people get what they deserve, good or bad.”

    “Stop talking about her like she’s dead,” Mika was glaring at both of them from the hallway. His features were pinched by anger and pain, his lower lip trembling with emotions he didn’t know how to control.

    Surprised, Michael unfolded his arms and faced his son. “Mika, what are you doing up? You should be sleeping..”

    He should have sensed the boy sooner. Thane had been too distracted by his thoughts to notice that they were being spied on. The topic of dead relatives was one a boy of his age shouldn’t have to be subjected to.

    Ignoring his father’s instructions, Mika continued, “Aunt Anya is _not_ dead. We’d be able to feel it in here if she was.” He pointed to where his heart was hidden within his chest.

    “I’m sorry, Mika,” Michael took a step towards Mika but stopped short when the boy took a retreating step back. “Death doesn’t work like that.”

    “It does if you love someone. You said that she was dead before, and she wasn’t.” The boy’s eyes widened with childish realization. “You and mom just need to have another baby.” To his father’s confused expression, he explained, “Aunt Anya showed up when Ana was born. If you have another baby she’ll come back, just like last time.”

    Michael shook his head. His movements were heavy with sorrow for having to destroy his son’s naivety. “She’s not coming back, Mika.”

    “She isn’t dead!” He screamed at his father, causing Ana to relinquish her rabbit and cry out as well. “You just don’t love her! You never did, did you?” Not waiting for his father’s answer, Mika stormed down the hall, running for the safety of his room.

    “Mika,” Michael started after his son as Thane moved to console the howling baby.

    When Michael stepped out into the hallway, a pounding on the front door stopped him from going after his son. Cassandra stood at the entrance of their bedroom, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she investigated the source of the ruckus.

    Meeting her husband’s distressed expression, she said, “Go get the door, I’ll handle Mika.”

    Michael nodded to his wife before turning to answer the intrusive knocking. Looking at Thane, Cassandra moved to retrieve her daughter from him. She glanced over his shoulder to where her husband had disappeared.

    As she hoisted Ana onto her hip, Cassandra instructed, “Go with him. We don’t typically receive visitors at this hour. Something’s up.”

    Nodding, Thane did as she instructed and silently followed Michael to the front door. 

    When Michael pressed the button that released the door, a batarian, human, and turian all adorned in Blue Sun armor stood at the entrance. Without invitation they stepped into the apartment.

    Thane recognized the turian immediately, familiar with his ashen complexion and amber colored eyes. Niall was the only one of the trio to notice Thane standing in the shadow of the hallway. With a wordless nod, he acknowledged Thane without drawing anyone else’s attention to him.

    “Michael,” the human stepped forward. Giving the living room a quick once over, he said, “Love what you did with the place. How are you doing this evening?”

    “Sloan.” Michael ignored the question as he stood his ground. “What are you doing here?”

    “We need to talk,” the human strolled deeper into the apartment and casually reclined into the loveseat in the living room. His companions stayed by the door, their statures weren’t threatening as they silently watched the interaction.

    Michael turned his body slightly, facing the leader of the group, while keeping Niall and the batarian in his line of sight. “About what?”

    “The Blue Suns hired you for a reason.” The man Michael had referred to as Sloan dragged his nails through his cropped hair. If he knew that an assassin was supervising his every movement, Thane doubted that his manner would have been so casual. “We’re running short on supplies, and need to contact Blue Suns outside of this system. The problem is the comms are still down, the comms we hired _you_ to fix.”

    “I already explained the situation to – “

    Sloan held up a hand, silencing Michael before he could complete his sentence. “Yeah, we’ve all heard your excuses; and since we can’t find anyone in this system to replace you, killing you would be counterproductive.”

    Leaning forward, he steepled his fingers as he thought aloud, “The problem with being a family man, Michael, is that it gives your enemies ways to motivate you.” In response to Michael’s set jaw and daggered glare, Sloan continued, “We don’t want to be your enemy. We just want you to do the job we hired you to do.”

    The mention of family was not one that Thane could tolerate in silence. Stepping out from the shadows that hid him, he entered the conversation with pointed eyes. Niall fidgeted at the entryway, mutely pleading Thane to let this confrontation run its course. If the turian had to intervene, they would find themselves in a much more uncomfortable situation.

    Sloan looked past Michael, a smirk twisting the side of his mouth as he greeted the newcomer. “You must be the drell that Borahk had us searching up and down for. How nice to have the both of you in the same place, now I can kill two birds with one stone.”

    His smirk turned into a grin that lacked friendliness or amusement. “I have good news for you, drell. Borahk is neither important nor influential enough for us to waste time and resources trying to serve him your head on a silver platter. Consider your crimes against the Blue Suns and our affiliates forgiven, but never forgotten.”

    Thane didn’t reply, there was no response to Sloan’s level of arrogance. The human had no idea who he was talking to or what he was capable of. Sloan didn’t realize how thin the ice was beneath him. Thane had lost Irikah to arrogant cowards like Sloan. He would never allow Michael to know that pain.

    No longer interested in conversing with Thane, Sloan returned his attention onto Michael. Arching an eyebrow he picked up where the two had left off before Thane’s interruption. “Well?”

    Michael crossed his arms, his posture was defiant. He wouldn’t be threatened. “I’m doing what I can. I’ve already told your boss that there’s nothing more I can do until the mass relays are fixed.”

    “And my boss told me to ‘motivate’ you to find a way around that issue.” Sloan’s dark eyes bore into Michael, the underlying threat was obvious. “Do you see the problem? There are only so many ways that I can ‘motivate’ you before I have to get your family involved.”

    Taking a step forward, Michael growled, “You leave my family out of this.”

    Sloan held up his hand again, this time to stop the batarian from pulling Michael away from their leader. “I want to; I really do. But my boss isn’t as understanding as I am. He’s a very impatient man.” He fell back into the seat and spread his arms along the cushions. Rubbing his forehead, he wondered, “Do you see the problem? Neither of us wants to get your family involved, so let’s brainstorm. How are we – and by _we_ I mean _you_ – going to appease my impatient boss?”

    “There’s nothing I can do about the comms until the mass relays are repaired.” When Sloan quirked a disapproving eyebrow, Michael continued, “But there have to be other things that require my area of expertise; maybe I can help actually fix the mass relay in this system?”

    Drumming his fingers on the cushions, Sloan gave the suggestion some consideration. After a moment, he nodded his approval. “I’m sure the boss wouldn’t be opposed to you making yourself useful.” He pulled himself out of the loveseat with a grunt and walked back to join his men at the door. Giving Michael a wolfish look, he said, “I’ll be back in the morning to pick you up; we’ll figure out what to do with you from there.”

    Sloan glanced at his men, to Niall he gave the slightest of nods before he and the batarian left the apartment. Standing awkwardly under Michael’s intense glare, and Thane’s questioning gaze, the young turian rubbed the back of his neck. Without bothering to offer Michael a handshake, he introduced himself.

    “Sorry about . . . _that_. I’m Niall Artacus, Thane works for my grandmother.”

    Looking over his shoulder to where Thane stood, Michael wondered, “You know him?”

    Thane nodded and took a step towards the turian squirming uncomfortably at the door. “Why did you come, Niall? Did you know Sloan would threaten Michael and his family?” He owed the Artacus family a debt that he would never be able to repay; but if Niall had done anything to help harm Michael’s family, it would be a debt he’d forget as he hunted the boy down and dealt with him himself.

    “Sloan can be a bit . . .” his mandibles clicked as he tried to find the right word, “Intense. I came in case he needed to be persuaded to not do something stupid. And because I needed to speak to you.”

    Glancing between the both of them, Michael turned toward the hallway. He gave Thane a nod as he passed, and muttered, “I’ll give you both a minute.”

    When Michael was out of the room, Thane returned his attention to Niall and gestured toward the living room. Taking a seat, he waited for Niall to make himself comfortable before asking, “What do you need to speak with me about?”

    Niall inspected his talons as he explained, “It’s about my grandmother.”

    His heart toppled over itself, “What about her? Has something happened?”

    “Yes and no.” Niall took a breath, leaving Thane to flounder in anticipation. “She’s sick,” in response to the worried expression that widened Thane’s eyes, he went on. “It’s nothing terribly serious, she’s been sick before. It’s just hard for her to move around and run the inn on her own. Neelah helps out when she can, but she has her own shop to run. The Blue Suns take up almost all of my time and I can’t help her as much as she needs me to.”

    Meeting Thane’s expectant gaze, Niall finally made his request. “My grandmother likes you a lot, and I wouldn’t trust her with anyone else. Since the Blue Suns aren’t hunting you down anymore I was hoping that you’d come back to work.”

    “Niall,” Thane offered the young turian a small smile to ease his tension. “You needn’t ask. I’ll be there first thing in the morning.”

    A sigh of relief escaped him as Niall stood from his seat. Reaching out to offer Thane a grateful handshake, he said, “Thank you, Thane. She’ll be happy to see you.”

    Thane’s smile grew. “Not as happy as I’ll be to see her.”


	16. Chapter 16

_ “I don’t know what it is with you Shepards and your complete inability to stay out of trouble.” mutters Cassandra as she places another spoonful of mashed peas into Ana’s open mouth. Michael’s wife is seated in front of the highchair, visibly fighting off a wave of tears._

_ _

_ She will not meet her husband’s gaze as she continues to feed their daughter. “You couldn’t just tell that Blue Sun idiot to go screw himself, could you? Instead you had to offer to fix the relay and leave us here without you, for God only knows how long.”_

_ _

_ From his seat in the living room, Thane can see her struggle to not lose herself to hysterics. A physical copy of Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass rests, ignored, on his lap. His attention is divided between attempting to read the poetry, and trying not to listen to their marital dispute. He is familiar with the discussion, as it was one that he and Irikah had every time he left on his “business trips”._

_ _

_ His every emotion plays over his features as Michael paces kitchen.. Leaving is not his preference, but staying is out of the question._

_ _

_ “Sloan threatened you and the kids, Sandra.” He tries to explain to her. “This is the only way to make sure they stay away from you.”_

_ _

_ There’s an agitated tick to her jaw as she grinds her teeth. Finally Cassandra meets his gaze, an angry glint to her watery eyes.  Her voice wavers with emotions she tries to bite back.“That’s horse crap and you know it. When the company assigned you to this contract you dragged us all out here so that we’d be together. You keep us safe by being here, Michael.”_

_ _

_ Feet coming to a stop, Michael turns to face his wife. Falling to a knee in front of her, he cups her face in his hands and whispers. “I’m going to fix that relay and I’m going to get you the hell off this planet. I promise.” The kiss he gives his wife is desperate, nearly heartbreaking. He presses his forehead to hers, whispering soft reassurances before getting up and collecting his duffle from the floor._

_ _

_ Thane shuts the book he hadn’t been reading and moves to meet Michael by the door. He gives the human a firm hand shake, understanding completely the position he is in. Offering him a departing smile, Thane says, “Travel safely, my friend, and may you be half as successful as we all need you to be.”_

_ _

_ Nodding, Michael accepts Thane’s well wishes as he looks back at his wife. With a sigh, he addresses Thane. “If you weren’t here I never would have suggested leaving. Take care of them, Thane.”_

_ _

_ He also glances back to where Cassandra is seated, wiping away tears from her reddened cheeks. Looking back at Michael, Thane easily agrees. “I will guard them with my life. Your family will be here when you return. I swear it.”_

_ _

_ Michael nods with gratitude and, giving his family a final look, disappears through the door. Leaving one's family is never an easy thing, and it doesn’t get easier with time._

    “Thane,” Cassandra’s voice pulled him from his thoughts. She strolled up beside him and peered out of the window he was standing in front of. She knew as well as he that there were Blue Suns below, but her untrained eyes weren’t able to identify who or where they were. It was better that way, Thane thought. If she knew, she would lose sleep to her worry.

    Light brown eyes lifted to look at Thane. With a slight frown, she wondered, “How many are down there?”

    Thane moved away from the window as he answered. “More than yesterday.” He strode into the kitchen and filled a glass with water. After taking a long sip, he said, “And more than the day before that. I don’t know what Sloan is doing, but I can’t leave you here alone. I’ll let Dacia know that I can’t work today.”

    Cassandra also moved into the kitchen. Leaning her weight on the counter, she crossed her arms and gave Thane a disapproving look. “Dacia needs your help at the inn.”

    He nodded, knowing her words were true; but it wasn’t the only truth worth voicing. “And you need to be protected. I can’t do that from the inn. You and your family are my priority. I gave Michael my word that I would protect you, and even if I hadn’t, keeping you safe is more important than cleaning hotel rooms.”

    “Alright,” It wasn’t a surrender. Cassandra wasn’t the type to give up that easily. She uncrossed her arms and pushed herself off of the counter. “I understand your position, but your other responsibilities shouldn’t be neglected because of us.” Before he could argue that point, Cassandra continued, “Mika is going to go stir crazy if he stays locked up in here for another day, and I’m no better off. We’ll come with you. That way you can keep us safe and help Dacia with the inn.”

    Thane considered the suggestion. “Are you sure?”

    The smile that stole her lips left little room for uncertainty. “I need to get out of this apartment and get my mind off of Michael. Mika could use the fresh air, and I’m sure Dacia could use the extra help.”

    There wasn’t a valid enough argument to use against her. Cassandra was correct on all counts. Giving the woman a smile, he said, “I’ll help you ready the children.”

    Cassandra returned his smile with a grin. “You’re a reasonable man, Thane Krios. I can see why Anya loved you so much.”

    His heart plummeted at the mention of Anya. The loss of her was still a fresh and bleeding wound, one he couldn’t let fester as he had with Irikah. Thane couldn’t lose himself to his misery again. Cassandra and the children needed his protection and, when the mass relays were fixed, Kolyat needed his father.

    Clearing his throat, he gave Cassandra a brief nod before following her to collect the children.

__

    “Sere Krios,” Dacia greeted Thane warmly as he and Michael’s family strode into the inn’s lobby. Finding her way around the front desk, she smiled at Cassandra and the kids. “And you must be Thane’s beloved’s family.” If she caught Thane’s responding flinch, she made no indication as she offered Cassandra her taloned hand. “What a pleasure it is to finally meet you.”

    Returning Dacia’s smile, Cassandra shook the elder turian’s hand. “The pleasure is mine.” When her hand was free she patted her son on the head in way of introduction. “This is my son, Mika, and my daughter, Ana.”

    The old turian offered Mika the same greeting his mother had received. The boy happily shook her hand. “It’s good to meet your acquaintance smallish human.”

    “Your skin feels funny,” Mika replied. “How old are you anyway? Like, a thousand?”

    “Mika,” Cassandra gasped in horror.

    Dacia’s mandibles clicked with amusement. “Older,” she answered the boy, “A thousand and one.”

    Mika’s jaw fell.”You’re old.”

    Her rich laugh filled the lobby. Patting Mika on the shoulder, Dacia replied, “Age is relative, my boy. There is an asari or two who would call me young. Now, go out back, find a stick, and dig a hole like a good boy.”

    Looking up at his mother, Cassandra stifled a laugh as she nodded for him to do as he was told. When Mika was well out of earshot she apologized. “I am so sorry about that. That boy has no filter.”

    “Don’t worry yourself.” Dacia waved off the apology and gestured for them to follow her towards the kitchen. “Adults are liars and flatterers. It’s refreshing to hear a child’s honesty.” They entered the kitchen and as they gathered around the table she smiled at Cassandra and the baby in her lap. “I do have a play pen hiding somewhere in storage. If you’d like to put the baby down we can have Thane retrieve it.”

    Thane nodded his agreement. “Just say the word.”

    “Thank you,” Cassandra returned Dacia’s smile and adjusted Ana’s position on her lap. Giving Thane a quick glance, she returned her attention to the turian. “I suppose you’re wondering why Thane brought us along today.”

    Intrigued, Dacia leaned forward. “I had assumed it was because Sere Krios had finally realized that I’ve been dying to meet you.”

    He staved off a smile. “My apologies, Dacia, it hadn’t occurred to me.”

    Dacia nodded at him, signaling her forgiveness. To Cassandra, she asked, “If not for the pleasure of my company, what brings you to my inn?”

    “Recently my husband has had to leave to assist in fixing the mass relay. The method of his recruitment was . . .” she considered her wording, “less than friendly. As a result, my home is being closely monitored. Thane swore to my husband that he’d protect our family, but he also has a responsibility to you.”

    Dacia gave Thane a curious look. “If you need to discontinue your employment I won’t be offended, Thane.”

    “No, it’s not like that,” said Cassandra before the older woman could misconstrue her meaning any further. “Thane can’t help you from our apartment, and he can’t protect us from the inn. I was hoping to tag along with him and offer you another pair of hands. I’m a stay at home mom, I know a lot about cleaning and picking up after others.”

    “You can go ahead and breathe now.” Dacia gave Cassandra a warm smile. “There’s no need to convince me. I can use all the help I can get. Thane is a dear friend of mine, any family of his is my family as well.”

    “Thank you so much, Dacia.” Cassandra reached across the table and enveloped Dacia’s talons in her hand.

    The elder patted Cassandra’s hand. “There is no need to thank me.” When she moved to get up from her seat she struggled to pull her weight. Dacia breathlessly thanked Thane after he got up to help her. “Thane and I are going to get that play pen out of storage, and then we’ll put you to work.”

    “I really can’t thank you enough,” Cassandra repeated as he and Dacia left the kitchen.

    Thane still had an assisting grip on Dacia’s elbow as she led him through the inn. Giving the old turian a weary look, he wondered, “How are you feeling today, Dacia?”

    She shook her head. There was a weightiness to her persona that had never been there before. It went beyond her feeling ill. The woman was acting as though she were anticipating something terrible.

    Without looking up to meet Thane’s concerned gaze, she answered, “Fit to fight, my friend, though I don’t know for how much longer.”

    Jokes of death were common place with Dacia, but something had changed. She was no longer joking. His concern deepened. “I’m sure there are several years’ worth of fight left in you.”

    “You will be lucky to pull months out of me, dear.” She patted his hand as they reached the storage closet. Unlocking the door, she pushed it open and gestured for Thane to enter the dark room. “I can feel the life leaking from these old bones. It won’t be much longer until I become a fly to continue pestering Niall.”

    She summoned the light and followed Thane into the storage space. Peering past a mountain of boxes, she said, “It might be all the way in the back. I had Niall put it away a few months ago. You know how poorly he listens to me.”

    As Thane climbed over and around an assortment of unidentified objects, he tried to ward off the chill in his gut. Dacia was one of the few friends he had, and the thought of losing her was one that would haunt him until she recovered. “Niall said that this isn’t the first time that you’ve gotten sick.” He said as he moved some boxes around. “He believes that this will pass as it has before.”

    “Niall is too blinded by his love for me to see that this time is different,” the turian explained from where she stood in the doorway. “I have lived a long life, Thane. I’ve witnessed my mate and my children die to sickness and war, and I’ve found happiness where I could. When the time comes I will die with no regrets. How many people can say the same?”

    “Too few,” Thane answered. He stopped his search to look at the elder. He wanted to believe as Niall did, that she would recuperate from her ailments and live for several more years; but all he had to do was look at her to see that she was right. Dacia Artacus hadn’t enough sand left in her hourglass, and it was a fact she had long since accepted.

    “Would it be selfish for me to tell you that I don’t want to lose you?” His lips twitched in what he hoped resembled a smile. “In the short time that I’ve known you, you have become a dear friend to me. I have too few friends to be losing them at such a hurried pace.”

    She did smile at him, a maternal and understanding grin. “I am not dead yet, Thane.” Mandibles flapping, she tilted her head curiously at the morose shadow in his eyes. “My imminent demise is not the only death you are mourning. What happened?”

    He set his jaw as a raw ache tore through his chest. He felt his heart breaking all over again. Grinding his teeth, Thane answered, “Anya is dead. She was dead before I even knew it; and now I have to continue with my life because if I pause for a second to mourn her loss, I will not recover from it.”

    “I am terribly sorry for your loss, Thane,” said Dacia when Thane returned to his search. “There is no pain greater than losing your mate.”

    He agreed with her on that point. Thane had now felt that pain twice. Shaking away the emotion that threatened to swallow him whole, he concentrated on the task of finding the play pen. After moving around a few more boxes he found what they’d been searching for and pulled it free from the dusty storage.

    As he exited the storage closet, Thane paused beside Dacia and gave her a sidelong glance. “Life does not pause for us to mourn our losses. It moves on and we must move on with it.”

    “Those are wise words that are difficult to put into action,” she replied. “But you have to trust me when I tell you that time will lessen the ache.” Dacia palmed his shoulder and accepted his offered arm. As they returned to the kitchen, where Cassandra was waiting, she added, “Now let’s return to work and take our minds off of such dark things.”

*

    The water was cool as she glided through it. Anya’s breaths were trained, steady while she moved through the ripples. To keep the strain off of her finicky bones and muscles, Dr. Michel had decided that aquatic therapy was the best way for Anya to get all of her mobility back. She had to agree as she felt the water resist her movements.

    Anya could feel herself getting stronger. Thanks to Cerberus, her injuries had healed at an inhuman rate, but her body was a temperamental thing. It refused to work the way she remembered. It was frustrating to remember that she had once charged down a Reaper beam; or that she’d run between a Reaper’s legs, avoiding and killing brutes, as she summoned the mother of all thresher maws.

    Now, she needed crutches for walk down the hall. It was a step up from the wheelchair, but a long way from going toe to toe with another thresher.  The doctors and nurses alike assured her that she was progressing better than expected. Seeing as they hadn’t expected her to survive her injuries in the first place, Anya took their assurances with a grain of salt.

    “Alright, Commander,” her physical therapist said with a smile. “We’re done for today. Go towel off and head back up to Huerta. I’ll see you again tomorrow.”

    She let him help her up the steps and out of the swimming pool. Gathering her crutches, Anya made her way to the bathroom for a quick shower before returning to her waiting hospital bed.

    Settling into the elevator, Anya went to press the button that would take her to Huerta’s lobby.

    “Not that one,” the sudden sound of the familiar voice caused Anya to jump and reach for the sidearm that wasn’t there. Kasumi’s tactical cloak shimmered as it deactivated. There was a mischievous grin on her lips as she observed Anya.

    Pressing the button that would instead take them to the market levels, Kasumi scolded Anya’s reaction. “You’re losing your touch, Shep. Sneaking up on you was never that easy.”

    Anya released her surprise with a sigh. “Kasumi, you shouldn’t sneak up on me.”

    The thief’s snicker chimed in the elevator. “What were you going to do, club me with your crutches?” she toed the crutch in question and openly laughed at the thought. “You’d have to catch me first, Shep.”

    “Laugh it up, Kas,” Anya gave her a hard look. “One of these days I will be able to catch you; just bide your time.”

    “Ooh, I’m shaking.” Kasumi playfully shuddered.

    Smiling at her petite friend, Anya leaned back against the elevator’s wall and asked, “So where are you taking me, Ms. Goto?”

    Kasumi leaned against the opposite wall. Crossing her arms in front of her chest, her fingers tapped her arm as she gave Anya a smirk. “James is visiting the Citadel, and the gang is getting together for lunch. It’s been a while since we’ve all been in the same place at the same time without having to run off for this or that.” She shrugged. “And now that you’re mobile, we’d all like to see those crutches in action.”

    “I guess the gimp jokes are inevitable.” Anya also smirked.

    A laugh parted the thief’s lips. “We tease because we love you.”

    “And when I do actually club you all to death with these crutches, it’ll also be out of love.” She fell silent as she thought about this impending luncheon. It had been a long time since she and her former crew got together just to be together, but she didn’t know if she was up to it.

    Her friends and her parents were supportive through her recovery. Often they would stop by just to shoot the breeze while she struggled to find the desire to wake each morning. Something was different now. She was different. Anya felt as though she were clawing through every circle of hell just to make it through the day, and her friends were exactly the same people they had always been. The crucible that was her recovery was changing her, and she didn’t know if her friends would accept the person she was becoming.

    “Shep,” Kasumi pulled her from her thoughts.

    Blinking herself back into the present, Anya looked up to meet Kasumi’s concerned gaze. She apologized as she offered the short woman a brief smile. “I’m sorry, Kas, what were you saying?”

    “Nothing important,” the thief answered, “Only that I’d love to watch James and Jacob arm-wrestle.” Giving Anya a measured stare, she asked, “Is everything alright, Shepard.”

    “Great,” was her stiff reply. Anya smiled to iron out her curtness and quickly changed the subject. “I’m starving, what’s for lunch?”

    After only the briefest hesitation, Kasumi decided not to address Anya’s behavior. “We’re picking the kids up at Apollo Cafe, and then it’s up for debate if we eat somewhere else instead.”

    “I’ve eaten there before,” stated Anya as she remembered the somewhat awkward conversation she’d had with Kaiden after she turned down his desire for another romantic excursion. “The food’s pretty good.”

    The elevator doors opened before they had to be subjected to an awkward lack of conversation. Sliding out from the box, Kasumi playfully waved for Anya to speed it up. Shepard shook her head as she followed the tiny woman through the crowded shopping center towards their destination.

    Looking around, Anya marveled the rate in which the Citadel had recovered from the Reaper war.The Cerberus coup had left behind less damage, and had taken twice the time to clean up. Everything was still being pieced back together, she knew, but in only a handful of months it would be like nothing had happened at all.

    The progress was mostly architectural. People, as a whole, were incredibly adaptive, but the Reaper war wasn’t just something that they’d bounce back from. The people of the Citadel, and the entire galaxy, were hurting; the Council was fighting for balance, and the people were fighting for structure. As long as the Citadel looked like it was repaired, then the people who called it home could fool themselves into thinking there was a shred of stability left on the space station. They were all doing the best they could with what they had left. The harsh light she used to scope those around her did nothing but annoy her. There used to be a time when she’d been more understanding.

    Anya swung on her crutches, weaving through the crowd as Kasumi made a path. They made their way down a set of stairs and turned into the open aired restaurant. The group had an entire corner sectioned off so that everyone could have a seat, and several tables had been pushed together to accommodate all of them. When the group noticed Anya they got onto their feet and applauded theatrically, cheering and hollering as she and Kasumi joined them at the table. She tried to fight back the smile that snuck onto her lips at the sight of all her old friends and former colleagues.

    Garrus, James, Jacob, Miranda, Zaeed, Jack, Grunt, Wrex, and even Kelly all stood when she and Kasumi joined the gathering. They took turns embracing Anya, commenting on her recovery, how she managed to escape death yet again, and how good it was to count her among the living. Her sentiments were divided. Anya would forever relish the companionship of her old friends, but now she felt as though there was a vast distance between the person they thought they knew and who she now was.

    “Lola,” James gathered her into a tight embrace. When they pulled apart he motioned for her to take a seat in the empty chair between him and Wrex. “It’s good to see you up and running,” he glanced at the crutches she was setting down beside her seat, and corrected, “or should I say hobbling?”

    “Ha ha, Vega,” she made a carryon gesture to her muscle-clad friend. “Keep them coming, Jimbo. When I get better I’ll remember all the jokes you made.”

    Garrus’ mandibles flapped as he chuckled at the two of them. To James he cautioned, “I’d be careful if I were you, James. Every time she comes back from the dead, she gets a little bit scarier.” His eyes panned over to where Anya was seated, and his mirth dissipated at the sight of her amusement fading.

    An uncomfortable feeling began to nest in her stomach. There was an irritation at the back of her head at the sound of Garrus’ voice. It was like a scratching on the inside of her brain every time he spoke, looked at her, or even breathed.

    Anya clenched her jaw and forced herself to look at anyone but him. She didn’t know why she was reacting this way to him, he was her best friend, but her body tensed at the thought of breathing the same air. Logic insisted that he wasn’t a Marauder aiming a shot, and still she was wound tight enough to retaliate as if he was.

    “Easy, Shepard,” Wrex said from beside her. “I’ve seen you give Udina warmer looks than that.” Jostling her bones with a rough smack on the back, his boisterous laugh eased the tension that would have wove its way into their reunion. “How about a round of ryncol to loosen us all up?”

    Jack happily agreed. “Lord knows I could use a fucking drink.”

    Even though she refused to look at him, Anya could feel Garrus’ eyes on her. If she glanced over she’d see the question in his eyes, the hurt her sudden frosty regard of him was causing. She couldn’t bring herself to care. There was something about her turian friend that gave her this sick feeling. His presence angered her, and for no apparent reason. Anya wouldn’t have been able to explain it if she tried.

    Giving the old krogan beside her a small smile, Anya said, “Just a beer will be fine for me, thanks.”

    “Well at least it’s not water,” commented Zaeed. “You’re all going to need to be blindly drunk if I’m going to tell you about the time that I won a volus rolling contest.”

    Miranda shook her head but couldn’t help the smile on her face. Beside her Jacob took a swig of his beer and laughed, “This I have to hear.”

    “Then bottoms up,” Kasumi purred. “It’s time to get you drunk.”

    At the far end of the table, Kelly laughed at the mischievous simper on Kasumi’s lips. “Down girl,” she scolded, “Glances are the only thing you’re going to be stealing today.”

    The thief pouted, “You’re no fun.”

    Conversation and banter was easy for the lot of them. Anya had walked each and every one of them through a different kind of hell, and now they were the titans of a Reaper free galaxy. Leaning back in her seat, Anya swirled the beer that had been offered her and contemplated the liquid as she partially participated in the group’s merriment.

    Across the table, Garrus was still watching her and her hackles began to rise. There had been a time not too long ago that she could tell him anything. She counted on him to have her six even when they were in the thick of it, especially when they were in the thick of it. Garrus used to keep her grounded and level. Anya tried to remind herself of that as the hairs on her arms stood on end, her agitation causing an ache in her grinding teeth.

    She survived lunch and the endless chatter of her former teammates, and thanked every deity when people began excusing themselves to attend to their other responsibilities. Promises were made to do this again sometime, while others made arrangements to meet up in the near future..

    Anya collected her crutches and tried to make a break for it. She’d made it only a few steps before a hand grabbed her arm and stopped her in her tracks.

    “Not so fast, Lola,” the glint to James’ brown eyes was playful. “Join me at the bar,” he pointed his thumb over his shoulder, pointing towards his desired destination. “I’d like to have some one on one time with my dearly departed commander.”

    She glanced at the exit and noticed a certain scarred face turian waiting there for her. Giving James a smile she agreed. “Alright, Vega, let’s shoot the shit.”

    They meandered over to the bar and settled in between two conversing asari, and a turian and human talking about the state of the mass relays. As Anya took a seat at the bar and ordered a shot of whiskey, she gave James a once over and smiled. “Is Admiral Coats putting you through your paces, Lieutenant?”

    The bartender gave James another beer. With a soundless laugh, he nodded, “Yeah, he’s been working me pretty hard.” He took a swig and sighed. James’ brown eyes landed on Anya again, a large grin was plastered all over his face. “I even got to work under your old man for a little while.”

    “No kidding?” she took a sip of her whiskey and shook her head at what the two men would have thought of each other. “And what did you think of Admiral Shepard?”

    James’ grin turned shit eating, “I can definitely see where you got your badassery from, Lola.”

    “You haven’t met my mother.”

    “I bet they make one helluva powerhouse couple.” He laughed when Anya nodded deeply in agreement. Sighing, he grabbed his beer by the neck and gave it a quick swirl before taking another drink. James’ gaze was on the Citadel’s fake skies when he said, “It’s good to be moving again; doing something to make a difference, you know?”

    Glancing at her, he continued, “Before, while you were unconscious, I was getting antsy just waiting for something to happen. Sitting around and getting fat while there’s work to be done just isn’t for me.”

    “That doesn’t surprise me,” she commented. “You always used to give me lip whenever I sidelined you.”

    James smirked. “I’m a very versatile soldier, Shepard. There was no reason I shouldn’t have been accompanying you on every single mission.” His smile deepened when he was able to draw a stronger laugh from her. When he looked at her again Anya could have sworn that she saw a note of concern in those chocolate brown eyes. He blinked and the look was gone.

    “How about you, Lola? When the doc clears it, are you going active, or will you retire like the old woman you are?”

    “This old woman kicked your ass once, _pendejo_. Don’t tempt me a second time.” Returning James’ playful smile, her grin slowly fell as she considered his question. “I don’t know yet.” 

    Anya took a long drink of her whiskey and grimaced as it went down. It had been a while since she drank anything but water, if she didn’t take it easy the alcohol was going to hit her hard.

    “I’m a soldier, I don’t know anything else, but maybe now I can see what else there is.” She shrugged and rubbed the back of her neck. “I don’t know. I still have time before I have to make any decisions one way or the other.”

    “Well I guess technically you are dead,” James gave her shoulder a brotherly bump. “You’re free to do whatever the hell you want.”

    True, though all she really wanted was to actually be dead. Anya sighed, would she ever shake this feeling? She allowed herself to ease back into unstrained conversation with James. He was like the little brother she never wanted, and she was going to take advantage of his presence for as long as she could.

  



	17. Chapter 17

    The man on the screen was handsomely aged. Growing up, she had heard many women refer to him as a silver fox. He had dark mossy green eyes that were shadowed by the arch of his brow. His top lip was warmed by a neatly trimmed mustache while the rest of his face was cleanly shaved. The Admiral’s salt and pepper hair was becoming more salt than pepper with every year, but he was stronger than he looked, and he looked pretty damn strong.

     _Dads always look strong to their children_ , Anya thought with a smile as she gazed at her father on the screen. He and her mother were still out in space doing their part. Anya highly doubted that retirement was a word that either of them was familiar with. Her smile deepened, the day her parents retired was the day that the Council actually took her word on something without fighting her every step of the way.

    Rolling her shoulders, Anya asked, “How’s the science team doing?”

    Admiral Michael Shepard leaned back in his seat and weaved his fingers together over his chest. Behind him was their bedroom, the bed was neatly made and there was a small fish bowl on Hannah’s side of the bed. Anya’s mother loved any type of fish. As far as Anya could remember, Hannah Shepard had always owned a betta fish.

    “We’re progressing as expected.” Her father’s words were professional and memorized. He had been answering this question a lot. “When the Catalyst explosion took out all of our technology, we had to take a moment to gather ourselves and remember how everything worked. Now that most everything else is operating normally, the mass relays should be repaired in only a few more months.”

    “Dad,” Anya smiled. “I’m not a reporter. You can be straight with me.”

    Scratching the back of his neck, he returned her smile with a weary one. “Alright, truth is that we’re ahead of schedule. It could be two months before the relay is open for business, maybe less. My concerns aren’t with the progress we’re making. It’s with what we’ll find once we’re through.” He rubbed his chin as he thought. “The Reapers were the biggest threat to every advanced species for thousands and thousands of years. When you set off the Catalyst it was supposed to destroy them all, and in this system it worked; but beyond this system . . . who knows?”

    She considered what her father was saying. The Reapers were the result of the greatest technology in existence. They could very easily be playing dead in this system, just to be terrorizing the others. Anya doubted that was the case, but she understood his concern.

    Closely examining her father’s features for a clue to what was on his mind, she wondered, “We’re taking the necessary precautions, aren’t we?”

    “Yes, of course we are,” he answered.

    “Then that’s all we can do,” Anya shrugged. “First we have to fix the bridge before we can cross it.” Her father nodded in agreement and let out a sigh. When he didn’t comment any further she asked, “Any word on Kael yet?”

    His persistent scowl deepened. Shaking his head, he said, “Nothing yet. A few comm. buoys were taken out in wake of the mass relay explosions. There are a couple systems here and there that have gone dark, and those are the ones that I’m worried about.”

    “You think Kael could be stuck in one of them?” Knowing that her baby brother was missing in action was killing her. Michael Shepard Junior was not a soldier. Sure her family had made sure that he knew how to handle a gun and how to defend himself, but knowing how fight in self-defense and actually doing it were very different things.

    Her father didn’t look at her as he muttered, “It’s better than the other option.”

    “Dad,” she couldn’t believe her father would even consider the other option to actually be an option. “Don’t talk like that.”

    “Don’t talk like what?” wondered Hannah Shepard as she entered their cabin.

Michael Senior looked up and smiled at his wife. “Anya asked if we’d learned anything about Junior,” He explained as he watched Hannah kick off her shoes and begin to unbutton her uniform.

    From somewhere just off the screen Anya heard her mother say, “Kael is fine. We’ll find him as soon as the mass relays are open, and then we’re going to insert a tracking device under his skin so that we’ll never lose him again.”

    Hannah appeared on the screen to give her husband a kiss on the temple before turning to look at her daughter on the terminal. “Hey there, sweetheart, I miss you.”

    “I miss you too, Mom.”

    Gracefully taking a seat on the armrest of Michael Senior’s chair, Hannah wrapped an arm behind her husband’s neck and made herself comfortable. Her spring green eyes inspected Anya closely as she asked, “How are you feeling, honey?”

    “Great, Mom,” She gave her mother a large smile so that the woman wouldn’t worry about her. “News on the grapevine is that I might be getting released today.”

    “That’s wonderful,” both of her parents grinned at the information. Hannah observed, “Dr. Michel has been a dream throughout this entire ordeal.” She tapped her chin as she thought. “We should get her a thank you basket.”

    Anya chuckled. “I might grab her a bottle of wine before flipping her and this entire establishment the bird.” Before her mother could gasp and protest, she continued, “I can’t wait to get away from the food, the nurses, and all the tests.”

    “These people saved your life, sweetheart,” Hannah Shepard reasoned. She glanced down at her husband and a somber shadow fell over her eyes. “We almost lost you again and they kept you with us. You may not be grateful for the third chance they’ve given you, but we are.”

    “I know, Mom.” Anya sighed and rubbed her face.

    She couldn’t stand the sight of her mother like that. The first time she’d died she knew that it had hurt her family, but when she almost died a second time her mother had witnessed Anya at her worst. Hannah had seen her daughter’s complete lack of desire to live, and Anya couldn’t even imagine the kind of pain that must have caused. She was alive now; the least she could do for her parents was try to live.

    Boring her eyes into the floor, Anya murmured, “I’ll send them a Christmas card or something.” She glanced up in time to catch both of her parents smiling again.

    They looked past her shoulder and their smiles widened. To Anya, Michael Senior said, “It looks like you have company, Annie.”

    She glanced over her shoulder and immediately tensed at the sight of her company.

    Garrus was standing at the entrance of the hospital room, hands held respectfully at his back as he was acknowledged by the two elder Shepards. He was in his civvies, a blue and yellow outfit that made him less imposing despite the facial scarring. Anya had to fight off the glower that almost took her features.

    “Admirals, how are the both you doing?”

    “We’re well, Garrus, thank you for asking.” Hannah’s smile was a motherly one. She and Michael Senior both had a soft spot for the turian. They regarded him as a son and even told strangers that they had adopted him into the family. Before it had been funny, now it bothered Anya without end.

    Michael Senior gave Anya a departing smile as he said, “You’re mother and I have paperwork to do, and you may or may not have a big day ahead of you. We’ll talk to you again soon, Annie.”

    “Alright, Dad,” she returned his smile and also said her goodbyes. “Take care of yourselves out there, okay?”

    “Will do, Annie, we love you.”

    “I love you too, both of you.” Anya smiled to herself as the call was disconnected.

    Smile fading, she hesitated  before turning around to face her best friend. She didn’t know why she was reacting like this to him. There was no valid reason for her behavior, but she couldn’t fight it off. She hated his company nearly as much as she hated her own.

    She felt Garrus take a step towards her and turned to face him before he could get any closer. He stopped where he stood when he saw the hard look in her eyes.

    His mandibles flicked with his uncertainty. “Shepard,” his rumbling voice started. “I think we need to talk.”

    Anya opened her mouth to disagree but was cut off when Dr. Michel knocked on the doorframe before entering the room.

    The woman joined their conversation, unaware of the tension between Anya and Garrus. “Commander I have some good news for you.” A large grin pulled the corners of her lips as she regarded the other woman. “I’m sure you’ve already heard through the rumor mill, but I want to tell you now in person; we think that you are ready to be released from the hospital.”

    Before either Anya or Garrus could properly react, Dr. Michel added, “You’re body is healing beautifully and thanks to your physical therapy you are almost back to one hundred percent. Dr. Eve also thinks that you are mentally and emotionally sound enough to be free from our constant medical supervision. That being said, we will only release you under the condition that you have someone to assist you through your day to day. You have many friends, Commander,” she looked to Garrus and gave him a nod. “I’m sure one of them would be happy to help you reacclimatize to independent life.”

    Anya was speechless for a moment. She knew that the moment would come, but she hadn’t known that there was going to be a catch. A frown pinched her features as she gave the doctor a long look. “A babysitter,” she clarified, not amused and uninterested. “You’re saying that you’ll release me to a babysitter.”

    Smile faltering, Dr. Michel shook her head. “No, what I’m saying is that you suffered severe depression that was miraculously overcome.” She arched an eyebrow, implying that she wasn’t fooled. “Here you had the staff and personnel to keep an eye on you. Out there you’re going to be on your own. Loneliness and depression go hand in hand, Commander; and I’m trying to make sure you don’t go through this alone.”

    She glared at the doctor. A babysitter, she shook her head at the thought. Dr. Chloe Michel was the supreme ruler of Huerta Memorial, if those were her conditions then there was no way around them. Anya could either accept it and get the hell out of the hospital, or she could reject it and be subjected to weeks of more babying. When it was put that way, the decision was clear.

    “Alright, Doc,” Anya crossed her arms, “Your house, your rules.”

    The smile returned to Dr. Michel’s face. “When you’ve selected someone come and find me.”

    “Look no further,” Garrus’ gaze panned between both women. Steel blue eyes landing on Anya, he offered her a small smile. “I owe you more favors than I have fingers. If rooming with you for a little while is what it takes to make it up to you then I’m okay with that.”

    Anya’s blood suddenly turned cold. She could barely stand being in the same room as him; let alone having to share an apartment. No, that was not going to happen. Not bothering to return his smile, or even dial down her scowl, she shook her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Garrus.”

    Dr. Michel’s large eyes darted from the commander to the turian before she excused herself. “I’ll give you two a minute. Let me know if you need anything.”

    She didn’t remove her pointed glare from Garrus as she said, “Thanks, Doc.”

    As soon as the doctor was out of the room, Garrus’ face flaps began to twitch with his irritation. “What is your problem, Shepard?” He asked as his eyes narrowed with anger and insult. “You’ve been keeping me at arms length since you woke up. And that’s when you’re not dodging me completely.”

    She turned away from him and moved towards the open window. With a shrug she admitted, “I just don’t want to see you, Garrus.”

    He was silent for a moment, his confusion palpable. “What does that even mean?”

    “Exactly what I said,” she whipped around and crossed her arms in front of her chest. Glaring into his baffled eyes, Anya ground her teeth to keep from shouting. “It means that I want to rip off your face right now, and if you don’t back off, I just might.”

    His brow plates rose with surprise. Shaking his head he tried to make her see reason. “I don’t understand, Shepard. What did I do?”

    The look she gave him was deadly. “You didn’t do anything, Garrus.” Green eyes narrowed as her glare darkened. “You come in here day after day with your smiles and your jokes, like nothing’s changed, like I haven’t changed. But I have and you know it.” She took a predatory step towards him, her anger growing when he stood his ground. “I can see it in your eyes. I know that you pity me. Well, I don’t need pity; not from anyone and especially not from you.”

    “I don’t pity you.”

    She scoffed. “You do, and I’d rather not be subjected to it day in and day out for the foreseeable future.” By way of dismissal, she said, “So thank you for offering, but go fuck yourself.”

    Garrus stood stunned speechless. He couldn’t even blink. After a moment passed, his shock gave way to anger. “I don’t know what I did to you, Shepard, but I sure as hell don’t pity you. The only person that pities you is you.” It was his turn to take a fuming step forward. “You’re angry, fine, I get that. Be angry. But it’s not my fault. Don’t take this out on me just because you have some deep personal shit that you can’t handle right now.”

    “Fuck you, Vakarian,” she growled.

    He shook his head. “When you’re done having your little temper tantrum, let me know,” Giving her a disappointed once over, Garrus shook his head again before storming out of the hospital room.

    Anya ground her teeth as she watched him leave. He just always had to have the last word, didn’t he? Was there a more graceful way of letting him know that she didn’t want to be his bunk buddy? Probably, but right then and there Anya was just glad that he had left the room. 

Turning on her omni-tool she sent out a quick message and plopped down on her bed.

    Several hours passed before the recipient of the message came into the room. Kolyat’s expression brightened with a smile when he saw Anya get up out of her bed and stand before him. He spread his arms as he approached and pulled her into an embrace.

    “It never gets old seeing you on your feet,” he said as he released her. Taking a step back, Kolyat’s smile remained on his face longer than Anya had ever seen it. “So they’re releasing you back into the wild?”

    Nodding, she chuckled. “There are some stipulations on that front. But, yeah, they’re setting me free today.”

    “What kind of stipulations?” Kolyat asked curiously.

    Anya rubbed her neck as she carefully selected her wording. She knew that he probably wouldn’t like this, and she didn’t want him to do anything that made him uncomfortable. Sighing she just went for it. 

    “They won’t let me out of here unless I have someone move in with me; something about loneliness going hand in hand with depression, or whatever.” She twiddled her fingers nervously. “I was hoping that maybe you would consider moving in with me?”

    His expression fell as he processed her meaning. Kolyat’s large eyes stared at her carefully. The light streaming in from the open window made his cerulean irises bight and his blue green scales shimmer. A minute passed and he still hadn’t said anything.

    Nerves growing, Anya spoke into the empty air between them. “I know you’re an adult with your own job and your own responsibilities, and the last thing you want or need is to have your dead father’s ex-girlfriend become one of those responsibilities. You don’t have to feel obligated to say yes. I’ll understand completely if you don’t like the idea. I just . . . I’d like it to be you”

    His silence persisted for another minute before he turned away from her and ran a hand over the notched scales running down the top of his head. Kolyat sighed and rubbed his face as he thought. She knew that it was a big decision he was considering, but as she stood there waiting she couldn’t stop her  quickly growing impatience.

    After a beat he finally turned to face her. His expression was set, his decision made. “I have a place, Anya.”

    “I know,” she replied. “And I know you’re fine where you are, and are fully capable of taking care of yourself.” Worrying her bottom lip, Anya didn’t want to argue her point and seem like she was twisting his arm. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but the apartment is in a good neighborhood, its free rent, and I’ll stay out of your way so that you can do your own thing. You’d be babysitting me, not the other way around.”

    Kolyat stared at her for a little while longer. Nodding, he allowed a smile to slowly sneak onto his lips. “Alright, Anya, you’re a good person to have owe me one.”

    “Thank you, Kolyat.” Anya grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

*

    “Mister, are you a Blue Sun?” Mika stood beside Niall, watching as the turian held the ladder Thane was balancing on in place.

    Niall glanced down at the human boy. His mandibles clicked with amusement as he wondered, “What, did the armor give me away?”

    Nodding, Mika’s brow furrowed as he thought aloud. “The Blue Suns are the ones that made my dad leave.”

    From his place at the top of the ladder, Thane watched the frown turn angry on Mika’s face. Dividing his attention between cleaning out the gutters and keeping an eye on the boy, Thane intervened. “Your dad left to help fix the relay, Mika.”

    “Because the Blue Suns made him,” Mika finished. His jaw was set as he glared at Niall.

    “Because they asked him to, and he knew it was the right thing to do,” Thane reminded him with a reassuring look.

    Even though the boy was right, Thane couldn’t let Mika harbor any animosity towards the Blue Suns. If he had any Shepard blood in him, he was going to retaliate be it verbally or physically; and the last thing that Cassandra and her family needed was to be watched any closer by the faction.

    Niall’s eyes softened as he regarded Mika. With a sigh he said, “Look, kid, I didn’t send your father away; but we need him in order to get the relays working again. I heard who your aunt was, and if your dad is anything like his sister he’s going to be Zorya’s hero by fixing that relay.”

    “Is, who my aunt is,” Mika corrected. When Niall gave him a confused look he rolled his eyes. “Everyone keeps saying that she’s dead, but she isn’t. Aunt Anya is alive.”

    “Alright, kid,” Niall shook his head, refusing to argue, “My mistake.”

    He glared up at Niall for a moment longer before moving his gaze towards Thane. When he gave Mika a short nod, the boy sighed and returned to the inn. Mika wanted to blame his father’s departure on someone, but he trusted Thane enough to believe that it was Michael’s honor that was to blame. The truth was unimportant if it threatened Mika’s safety.

    Niall watched the small human disappear into the inn before returning his attention to holding the ladder steady. Glancing up at Thane, he observed, “He’s a tough kid.”

    A fond smile tugged at Thane’s mouth. “He’s definitely a Shepard.”

    “He really believes that about his aunt, doesn’t he?” Niall’s subharmonics rang with the sound of sympathy.

    Thane gave the turian a quick glance before returning his focus to the task at hand. From what he had learned from Dacia, Niall’s parents died when he was very young. Understandably, he was able to empathize with Mika.

    Clearing the soggy pollen spores out from the gutter drain, he grunted as he explained, “The death of a loved one is difficult for children to understand and accept. Especially when that loved one was their hero. His denial is a natural reaction.”

    Niall contemplated Thane’s words for a minute and silence fell over them as the two men continued with the task of maintaining the inn’s exterior. The sun bore down on them, setting the waterlogged air to boil. Thane could feel the thick atmosphere in his lungs, and knew that later he would have to spend a little more time with the nebulizer.

    A soft feminine snivel pulled Thane from his undertaking, causing him to pause and strain his ears as he tried to locate its source.

    Niall tensed at Thane’s sudden change in behavior. Looking around he quietly muttered, “What is it?”

    A moment later a petite batarian female turned the corner towards the inn. Wiping away the tears that were falling from her eyes, she tried to stifle the sounds of her crying. Thane gestured with his chin in Neelah’s direction, pointing Niall’s attention towards the woman.

    “Neelah,” he said when his gaze followed Thane’s. The turian released the ladder and hurried to intercept the young woman. Wrapping his talons around her arms, he searched her face as he asked, “What happened, Neelah? What are you doing here?”

    Thane carefully made his way down the ladder and followed Niall to where he was holding the batarian. He stayed some feet away from the pair, not wanting to crowd the young woman. As Thane inspected Neelah’s face, anger ran like fire through his blood. The right side of her face was beginning to bruise and swell. Her lip had only the slightest tear, and there was another bruise surfacing on her wrist.

    “Th-they came t-to my shop,” she sputtered, her voice was thick with emotion and she was trembling with fear. If pushed much farther she would become hysterical. “I-it’s gone, burned to the g-ground.” Neelah buried her face in Niall’s chest as she sobbed, “I didn’t know where else to go.”

    Niall’s mandibles were fluttering wildly as he struggled with his outrage and concern. Thane could also see the damage done to Neelah. Looking over her, he could tell her injuries were minimal, the harm done to her was mostly emotional. It was more than enough to free Niall’s primal male instinct. He had to protect Neelah from anyone who dared to harm her.

    Thane took another step closer, still keeping a respectful distance from the young couple. Addressing Niall, he suggested, “Perhaps we should take her inside.”

    He was still looking at Neelah, debating listening to Thane or listening to his rage. Releasing a breath, Niall nodded and wrapped an arm around Neelah before he led her inside.

    As they entered the lobby, Niall ushered Neelah towards the comfortable seats in the small waiting area. Dacia looked up from the paper work behind the front desk, and Cassandra carefully set aside the mop she’d been handling, as their tasks were interrupted.

    “Neelah?” Dacia moved from behind the front desk and hurried to where her grandson was herding the batarian. Taking a seat beside Neelah, Dacia pulled the girls hands into hers before taking action.

    She looked up to Cassandra and instructed, “Bring her some chamomile and mint tea, dear.” When Cassandra nodded and rushed off to prepare the tea, Dacia’s authoritative gaze landed on Niall. “Fetch a blanket from the linen closet.”

    Niall opened his mouth to argue but it was Thane who spoke. “I’ll retrieve it.” He gave the young turian a nod as he said, “Stay with her. She need’s your strength right now,” and left to grab a blanket.

    When he returned, Thane handed the blanket to Dacia who draped it over Neelah’s shoulders. A moment later Cassandra joined them, carefully passing the hot mug into Neelah’s shaking hands.

    “There, there, darling,” Dacia rubbed Neelah’s back as she softly murmured reassurances to the young woman. “You’re alright now.”

    As Neelah’s sobs began to lessen Niall took a knee in front of her. He gently placed his hand on her cheek as he softly asked what they were all wondering. “Neelah, what happened?”

    She shook her head, fresh tears fleeing down her cheeks to be caught by Niall’s tender touch. “They burned everything down.” Her voice cracked under the weight of her emotion. “I have nothing left.”

    “Who?” Niall insisted while keeping his tone level. “Who burned everything down?”

    “Sloan.” She took a drink of the tea and let the warmth steady her breathing.

    Niall’s subharmonics were humming louder now, vibrating the air around him with his confusion and outrage. “Why would Sloan attack you?” His mandibles hadn’t stilled since first seeing Neelah outside. “Your brothers are Blue Suns. You’re supposed to be protected.”

    Tightly clutching the warm mug, Neelah shook her head again. She tried and failed to keep her tears from falling. “He didn’t say. Sloan just came in, ripped me from the store, and set it on fire.” After a calming breath she tackled his second question. “As for my brothers, they have outcast me; first for my relationship with you, and second for losing my social standing.”

    The young turian searched Neelah’s face as he muttered, “This happened because of me?”

    “Be still, child,” said Dacia to her grandson when the emotion vibrating the air around him became uncomfortable.

    “No,” Neelah reached out to Niall and took his hand. Rubbing a thumb along his knuckles she said, “This happened because Neve needs to make an example. I’m not the first person he’s done this to.”

    “Who’s Neve?” Cassandra asked the question that Thane was also thinking.

    Not looking up from the distressed woman, Niall answered Cassandra’s question. “He’s the First Lieutenant currently running Zorya.” To Neelah he asked, “I know that Sloan has been roughing up a few local businesses, but why you?”

    She shrugged and wiped her nose with the tissue Cassandra had handed her earlier. “I’m guessing it’s because of my brothers. He wants Zorya to know that no one is off limits.”

    “And your brothers just let him hurt you?” Cassandra’s voice and expression gave away her horror.

    It was Thane who explained, “She’s lost her social standing. Batarian society puts a great deal precedence over ones place. Since they have ostracized her, she is now a pariah and hardly considered a batarian at all.”

    Neelah’s shoulders shook as her sobs started anew. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.” 

She cried into the soaked tissue. “I have nothing.”

    “That’s not true, dear,” Dacia patted the young woman’s back. When Neelah’s desperate gaze lifted to meet Dacia’s, the elder Artacus smiled. “You have Niall, and you have me. Your brothers may have abandoned you but we will not.” She looked at her grandson. “Will we?”

    “Never.” Niall pressed Neelah’s knuckles to his mouth. With another cry she fell into his embrace and he held her tightly as he tenderly stroked her back. “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”

    Thane watched the couple for a moment, waiting until they parted before pursuing his curiosity. When Neelah recovered enough she pulled from Niall’s embrace and accepted her forgotten tea from Dacia. As the batarian was taking a sip, Thane asked, “This has happened to others?”

    Neelah nodded before setting her mug down on the coffee table beside her. “I’m the fourth victim this week.”

    “But you’re the first one whose shop has been burned to the ground,” Niall observed. Meeting Thane’s gaze, he supplied, “Neve is a paranoid sadist, and Sloan is a sadistic bastard. Zorya is only holding itself together out of fear of them.”

    Cassandra raised a disapproving eyebrow. “And you work for them?”

    “Too keep my family safe,” he rebuked her judgmental tone.

    “Neelah’s brothers are Blue Suns,” Cassandra argued.

    “I know,” Niall muttered as he gazed into Neelah’s eyes. “It doesn’t make any sense why they would attack you.”

    Thane commented, “Men like Neve very rarely abide by sense.” He watched as Niall returned his attention to Neelah. Pulling her back into his arms, he murmured comforting words only she could hear. The young batarian woman was a delicate thing, fragile and soft as most women were. Zorya and its inhabitants were harsh, much too severe for a girl like her.

    His gaze then went to Cassandra, and his thoughts went to her children. None of them were meant to be on a planet like this one. If Anya were alive she never would have stood for Michael bringing his family here. He knew he couldn’t save everyone, but these few people were his friends and family. When the mass relays opened, he would make sure they were relocated somewhere safer before he was reunited with his son.

  



	18. Chapter 18

    “Kolyat,” shouted Anya as she rummaged through her closet. When she heard his reply from downstairs she asked, “Have you seen my boots?”

    It was the third week of their housing arrangement, and Anya thought it was going better than expected. The first and second day had been the most awkward. Since neither of them knew how to behave around the other, they had spent a lot of time stumbling over their words. Now, though, they had found their rhythm and were comfortable enough around each other.

    Kolyat had even farted in front of her. The memory of his embarrassment made her chuckle even now. When it happened, Anya had been rolling on the floor in a fit of hysterics. Second to that moment was when she had come down for breakfast and ran into a barely dressed Oriana. Anya thought that she’d handled that awkward encounter fairly well, considering she only gaped for a minute before muttering an awkward greeting, getting her breakfast, and hurrying to the office. What counted was that they were adapting.

    “Which ones?” Anya nearly jumped at the proximity of his voice. The drell was like a damn cat. He was almost as bad as his father had been. At least on most day’s Anya could hear him coming before he scared the life out of her. Though, if he kept it up she was going to get him a bell.

    Not looking up from her search, she explained, “The black ones with the scuffed buckle. You know, the ones you said looked about as comfortable as watching an elcor stripper.”

    Amusement lit his tone when he replied. “They’re downstairs, under the piano bench.”

    Now that she had a destination, Anya abandoned the mess of her closet in pursuit of her boots. She gave Kolyat a grin as she passed him and left her room “Thanks, Kolyat. What would I do without your perfect memory recall?”

    “Go out shoeless, I guess.” The drell followed her out of her room and started down the stairs as he asked, “Are you going out tonight?”

    Anya fell onto her knees when she approached the piano. Locating her lost boots, she climbed onto the bench and started to put them on. She answered his question as she looked up to meet his curious gaze.

    “Yeah, Jack insisted on taking me to the Armax Arena.” Shaking her head, Anya rolled her eyes and added, “She thinks I’m losing my touch.”

    Kolyat smirked and crossed his arms. “So a girls’ night out, then?” Before, Anya would have doubted that the young Krios even knew how to smile. Now that she’d learned how to pull it out of him, she couldn’t get enough of it or his dry sense of humor.

    Returning his smile, she agreed. “You could call it that.”

    “Most women go to spas or salons when they want to have girl time.” The twitch in his smirk gave away that he was goading her just a little.

    “And other women,” she raised her hand, “like to blow shit up with really big guns.” When his smirk grew into a grin she shrugged. “I didn’t choose the thug life.”

    He shook his head at her. As she got up and moved toward the kitchen his attention stayed on her. His smile faded as he struggled to voice something that was obviously uncomfortable for him. Without pushing him, Anya let him find the words as she grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

    Rubbing the back of his neck he finally came out with it. “Oriana wants to have dinner with her sister.”

    “Okay,” Anya drawled out, not seeing what the issue was; “And?”

    “She wants to have Miranda and I meet at this dinner.” If it wasn’t his tone then it was his body language that gave away his discomfort. “She wants to tell her sister that we’re –“

    “An item, going steady, dating,” supplied Anya.

    “Something like that.”

    Kolyat had been around a few of Anya’s former crewmates enough to have heard stories about Miranda. He probably knew that she was a perfectly engineered biotic killing machine, and that she was highly protective of her baby sister. There was also the fact that she was ex-Cerberus, had rebuilt Anya from scratch, and had the backside you could bounce a quarter off of. He knew enough about the woman to make him nervous, and rightfully so.

    Curious, Anya wondered, “When’s this dinner.”

    “Tonight,” he answered. Shuffling his feet, Kolyat asked, “We were wondering if we could do it here.”

    With a shrug, Anya gestured that she didn’t mind. “Do what you want. It’s your apartment too.”

    “And,” he wasn’t finished. “We – well mostly me – were also hoping that you’d join us for dinner.”

    He looked at her with those big dark eyes of his. His full lips were always a little pouty, but now they were at their most persuasive setting. Rolling her eyes, she gave up on any attempt to say no.

    “Fine,” Anya made her way towards the exit as she grumbled, “For you, Kolyat, I will suffer an uncomfortable dinner with Miranda.”

    The grin that brightened his features was victorious. “Thank you, Anya.”

    “Yeah, yeah,” she muttered as she exited the apartment.

__

    “I will destroy you!” Jack’s voice sounded from behind a boulder as she sent a shockwave crashing through their pixilated enemies.

    Anya rounded a corner, shot her target three times before its pixels scattered, rolled to the left and took down another enemy. Pushing through the muted ache in her protesting muscles, Anya relished the nearly forgotten exertion. It had been months since she last held a gun, let alone shot one. She was slow, uncoordinated, and out of touch with the abilities she’d once possessed.

    Glancing up at the scoreboard, Anya gritted her teeth at her losing score. She was only a few points behind Jack, but her competitive nature didn’t take defeat gracefully. Plowing through some more cybernetic foes, she tried to close the distance on the scoreboard before their time was up.

    A horn sounded above their heads. The match was up and Jack was victorious. Anya set her jaw as she located the other woman in the arena. Later her body was going to creak and complain about the strenuous workout she had just subjected it to. Now, she was floating on a high from a good fight.

    “Damn, Shepard,” Jack slapped her on the back as they returned their gear. Her grin was electric as she was also enjoying her own battle buzz. “You kick some ass for a dead woman.”

    Anya chuckled and shook her head. She followed Jack out of the arena and towards the bar, where they found an empty booth and ordered some drinks. There was a comfortable silence between them as they waited for their beverages. Staring past Jack’s shoulder, at the celebrity interview of the Hamlet cast, Anya let herself remember the warmth of Thane’s body and imagined him beside her.

    Her heart plummeted like it always did when she remembered him. The nightmares were starting to take the place of her memories. Now when she thought of his lips a scowl appeared in her mind’s eye instead of the warm smile he’d often given her. A familiar sting started to prick her sinuses as she considered the magnitude with which she’d failed him. They were supposed to be on a distant seashore together for an eternity; instead she was faking her way through life.

    “Do you ever think about London?” Jack’s voice interrupted the dangerous path her mind was treading.

    Looking up from the place Anya had envisioned Thane sitting, she cleared her throat before answering. “Among other things,” she murmured as their turian waitress dropped off their drinks. Taking the straw into her mouth, Anya drank her water as an excuse to keep from having to answer further.

    Jack shook her head slightly as she recalled the memory. “I walked kids to their deaths down there.” Tossing back her drink, she slammed the shot glass down and continued, “The only reason I didn’t lose any more than I did was because you had us working support. We won the war and all I can think about are those kids. Who knew that being a goddamn hero would suck so much ass?”

    Anya stared blankly at the table, and then huffed in agreement. “I could have told you that, Jack.” Taking another sip of her water she looked up to Jack’s contemplative features.

    “That shit fucks with your head,” her fingers framed her face for emphasis. “Everyone keeps telling you about all the lives you’ve saved and it’s supposed to just make you forget the ones you failed.”

    Her jaw set. “You never forget,” Anya muttered, her gaze returning to the place she had previously imagined Thane sitting. “You just learn to live with it.”

    “Is that what you’re doing?” Jack raised an eyebrow at her.

    Wiping the perspiration off of her glass, Anya didn’t look up as she asked, “Trying to psychoanalyze me, Jack?”

    Anya fought to keep her features expressionless. This was the umpteenth time that one of her friends had tried to breach her walls. After her spat with Garrus they’d turned their attempts up in quantity and quality. She felt no inclination to relive what happened in London, or what had failed to happen, and she didn’t want or need for them to hound her. She already had a psychiatrist; she didn’t need a whole fleet of them.

    “I was in London,” Jack reminded her, not bothering to pussyfoot the topic. “Shit was fucked up, everyone knows that. The war messed with all of us on some level. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

    Silence joined them again. Her attention was still on the glass in front of her when she replied. “Yes, I do.” Anya’s gaze finally lifted to meet Jack’s. Already, it was the most she had said to anyone on the topic; and she’d said too much.

    Sliding out from the booth, Anya gave her friend a brief smile as she said, “Thanks for the match. I had fun.”

    Jack sighed but didn’t push the topic any further. She returned Anya’s smile and replied, “How about a rematch tomorrow?”

    “Got nothing better to do, Jack?”

    The other woman shrugged with a laugh, “Better than actually kicking your ass on the field for once? I don’t think so.”

    “Then I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said as she turned to leave. Anya didn’t mind fighting her way through the battle simulator. It was the post-workout therapy session that she wasn’t a fan of.

    When Anya returned to the apartment the smell of dinner greeted her at the door. Kicking off her boots, she looked over her shoulder to find the young couple in the kitchen preparing the evening’s meal.

    “How was your girl’s night?” Kolyat asked as he diced some peppers.

    “Girl’s night?” Oriana looked up from the stove and gave Anya a playfully offended look. “And I wasn’t invited?”

    Smiling at Oriana, Anya’s gaze moved to Kolyat as she answered his question. “It was fun.” She strolled over to the counter and took a second to watch them get dinner ready. “Do you guys want any help?”

    “Nope,” was Oriana’s happy answer. “We’re just about done here, anyway. Make yourself at home, Shepard,” she said with a laugh.

    “Will do,” Anya replied with a smile on her lips. Leaving the pair to their cooking, she made her way upstairs and started the shower. Her body was already starting to groan. She soothed the ache with a steamy shower, and found herself starved by the end of it.

    Lured back downstairs by the smell of dinner, Anya was surprised to find that Miranda was already in the apartment, and the food was ready to be served. The four of them gathered around the enormous dining room table and began picking at their food.

    Anya gaze moved across her three companions before deciding that her hunger was too great for politeness. If they wanted to peck at their plates like birds that was good for them, but her stomach was too impatient for her to do the same. She started devouring the contents of her plate.

    Oriana cleared her throat and tried to start up conversation. “So, Miri, how are things?”

    “They’re fine, Ori,” Miranda answered politely as she cut through the chicken breast on her plate. “Thank you for having me over for dinner, Shepard.”

    Anya paused mid-bite, and looked up to meet Miranda’s trained gaze. Quickly swallowing, she shrugged and said, “This is their dinner, I was invited just like you were.”

    “But this is _your_ apartment, and this is _your_ food.” The ex-Cerberus agent gave Kolyat a disgusted glance before she continued. “ _You’re_ not the one playing house in someone else’s home.”

    Oriana’s jaw hit the floor as she gaped at her sister. Both she and Kolyat were shocked into silence. All it took was one look at either of them for Anya’s blood to start boiling.

    Tearing her gaze from the surprised young couple, Anya’s emerald eyes narrowed at the woman at the other end of the table. “This is Kolyat’s home. Out of the both of us he’s the only one with a job. He’s fully capable of taking care of himself, and was before I asked him to move in with me.”

    Miranda turned her nose, “I’m sure.”

    “Miri, please,” Oriana’s looked pleadingly at her sister, and it made Anya that much angrier.

    “Don’t even bother, Oriana,” growled Anya. “Your sister has already made up her mind on how she feels about Kolyat.”

    Coolly raising an eyebrow, Miranda wondered, “What exactly do you mean by that, Commander?”

    “Only that you have a problem with him, and nothing he does will be good enough for you.”

    “And what problem might that be?” Both women were speaking so casually that, to an onlooker, it would have been difficult to perceive the undercurrents of animosity between them.

    Anya shrugged and pushed away her half eaten plate, suddenly losing her appetite. “Maybe that Kolyat’s drell.”

    “Don’t make this about race, Shepard.” Miranda’s eyes narrowed and she set down her silverware.

    “Why not,” Anya leaned her elbows on the dining room table and rested her chin on her intertwined fingers. “That is what this is about. You’re upset that your genetic twin would end up with anything non-human.”

    With a scoff, Miranda shook her head. “My problem with Kolyat is that he’s a criminal.” Looking over at her sister she asked, a nasty bite to her tone, “Did he tell you about that? Has he told you that he tried to kill a man?”

    Intervening before either of them could respond, Anya rebuked, “You and I have killed men.” She gave Kolyat a reassuring glance before she went on. “He only attempted to kill someone, and it’s a crime he’s already atoned for. He has a job, he could support himself if I didn’t need him here, and he cares about your sister. For once, stop trying to control everything and just let life happen.”

    “I’m not trying to be controlling. This relationship is a mistake, and I just want to protect my sister from the heartache he’ll cause her.”

    “That’s not your decision to make, Miri,” Oriana spoke past clenched teeth. There were unshed tears of frustration in her eyes as she glared at her sister. “It’s my life and it’s my decision.”

    Miranda shook her head, not listening to reason. “It’s the wrong decision.”

    “Maybe it is,” Anya rebuked. “Oriana and Kolyat are both adults. They’re not asking for your permission, they don’t need it.”

    Throwing her napkin onto her hardly touched plate, Miranda growled, “She’s not your sister, Shepard, you don’t get a say.”

    “And she’s not your daughter, Miranda.”

    “The only reason that you’re even involved is because he’s Thane’s son.” Miranda spat out. “Ever since you woke up, he is the only person that you’ve let get close to you. I’ve got news for you, Commander, he’s not Thane and he’s not your son. Thane is dead, and it is beyond time that you come to terms with that.”

    Oriana gasped in horror, “Miri.”

    Slowly blinking, Anya allowed a cooling calm to wash over her. As she got up from her seat, her expressionless gaze landed on Oriana and Kolyat. “Thank you for dinner. It was delicious.” Her features didn’t change when she addressed Miranda. “Make amends with your sister, and then get the fuck out of my house.”

    She didn’t wait for a response before leaving them at the table and returning to her room. Softly shutting then locking the door behind her, Anya turned on the television and replayed the video messages Thane had tried to send her while she’d been incarcerated.

    Falling onto the bed, Anya curled up into a ball as she listened to the soothing rumble of his voice. Miranda was wrong. Anya had accepted Thane’s death. It was her life that she had to come to terms with.

*

    Ana screamed in delight as Mika tickled her belly, filling the air with her childish laughter. Standing behind the sofa, Neelah watched with a grin as the children livened the inn with their infectious joy.

    “You’re daughter is the most precious thing I have ever seen in my entire life,” Neelah mewed as she trailed her fingers through Ana’s soft hair.

    Cassandra smiled from her place behind the front desk. As she typed the information from Dacia’s paperwork and transferred it into the system, she replied, “Thank you, Neelah. I’m pretty fond of her myself.”

    Thane shoved another pile of papers into a box and hefted it up. The time for Dacia to modernize with the technology had passed decades ago.

    After Cassandra and Neelah united forces, the duo had been able to convince the elder turian to allow them to upgrade her system. He was going to stow the box in the cabinet under the front desk, so that Dacia would still be able to retrieve the information should she need it.

    As the older woman walked into the lobby, Cassandra lifted her gaze from her task, and informed her, “I’m just about done transferring everything over to the terminal. Would you like me to show you how it works when I’m done?”

    Dacia shook her head and waved the idea away as if it were a bothersome insect. “Don’t waste your efforts on me, dear. Neelah would be a much better student.” Her mandibles flicked as she muttered, “I’ll be dead before I can understand what you did, anyway.”

    Thane gave the woman a long stare as Neelah protested, “Dacia, don’t talk like that.”

    She shrugged indifferently before changing the subject. “Lunch is just about done. Would you all like to take a break and eat?”

    His gaze lifted at the sound of the lobby doors parting. Thane’s body tensed at the sight of the men that entered the inn.

    “Did someone say lunch?” Sloan loudly asked as he sauntered into the lobby. The men at his back were straight faced and angry looking. There was a vile shine to Sloan’s dark eyes and a snide twist to his thin lips. “I hope there’s room for a few more, because I’m famished.”

    They paused at the center of the lobby. There were six men; three human, two batarian, and a single turian. They were fanned out with Sloan taking the point. Aside from their side arms, they had no other weapons on them. By the malicious air radiating from Sloan, this wasn’t to be a friendly meeting, but it looked like they didn’t intend for it to be a violent one.

    For their sake, Thane hoped it stayed relatively peaceful. If any of them made a move to harm a single person in the room, he would find out exactly how much he’d recovered since first waking on Zorya.

    Cassandra abandoned her task at the computer terminal and rounded the front desk to where her children were. Crouching beside Mika, she collected Ana into her arms before gently passing the baby into the boy’s possession.

    Pressing her lips to her son’s temple, Cassandra whispered, “Take your sister to room 106 and wait there. Don’t open the door for anyone but me or Thane. Do you understand?”

    Mika’s wide eyes were on the Blue Suns that were loitering in the lobby. When his mother tightly clutched him by the arm, he broke his stare and nodded.

    “Don’t come out until we come for you.” Cassandra turned his body towards the maze of hallways and rooms and nudged him to run. “Go, Mika, now.”

    Gaze lifting from the interaction between mother and son, Dacia’s attention returned to the smirking human leading the pack of thugs. “Sloan,” her subharmonics were vibrating defensively. “What brings you here?”

    Sloan shrugged and casually strolled through the lobby. Cutting past the inn’s employees he meandered towards the front desk and leaned his weight against it. As the man inspected his cuticles, he answered, “I was in the neighborhood.”

    Turning to face him, Dacia crossed her arms as she clarified, “You and your passé were ‘in the neighborhood’ and decided to pay me a visit, did you?”

    His smirk grew into a wicked grin. “That’s what I said.”

    Mandibles flicking, she inquired, “May I ask why?”

    “But of course you may,” Sloan laughed at the question as though it were the silliest thing he heard. After a moment the smile fell from his face completely. “The time to pay rent has come and gone, grandma.”

    Dacia’s irritation grew, though she maintained her outward calm. “I paid the rent.”

    “You were short.” Sloan pushed himself off of the counter and took a step toward the elder turian. The smirk returned to his lips. “The boss doesn’t take kindly to crooks. You either pay your rent in full or you’re stealing.”

    “I paid the rent,” Dacia repeated. When Thane took a step in her direction she stopped him with a slight shake of her head, then returned her attention to the man standing in front of her. “In full, like I do every month.”

    Sloan raised an eyebrow to challenge her to that fact. “I wouldn’t say every month.” Walking a circle around her, his eyes inspected the others in the room. When his gaze landed on Thane, he offered him a friendly wink as though they’d known each other for a lifetime.

    Thane knew men like Sloan. Men like Sloan killed Irikah. Men like Sloan deserved to die painfully. His muscles were tense as he fought to keep himself in place. Thane struggled with the instinct inside of him that instructed him to act now before Sloan did something they’d all regret.

    “Like last month, for example.”

    Brow plates furrowing, Dacia growled, “Last month Neve raised my rent by twelve thousand credits the day rent was due.”

    “And you came up short,” Sloan shrugged off the details. “That’s two months now that you haven’t paid us in full,” he wiggled two fingers in front of her face for emphasis. “Neve sent me here to collect what’s his.”

    Dacia’s mandibles clicked again, fluttering with her outrage and frustration. “I already paid the rent, in full. That was all the money I had.”

    “Then we’ll just have to take a few things to compensate, now won’t we?” Snapping his fingers, Sloan signaled for his men to move.

    Thane went to intercept one of them, but stopped at the sight of Dacia calling him off. Wordlessly she instructed him to wait for them to do their damage and leave. It went against everything inside him to do as she wanted. These men were going to rob her of her belongings, and she was going to try and stop them with reason. He would comply with her for only a little while longer.

    “You can’t do this,” she tried to argue with Sloan as he inspected a vase to try and gage its value. “Does family mean nothing to you? Niall is a Blue Sun. He’s my grandson. The lot of you may be criminals but even you still have codes that you have to honor.”

    Throwing the vase over his shoulder, Sloan’s smirk grew into a grin at the sound of it crashing to pieces behind him. “Neve sent me here to collect rent. You’ve been mooching off of his good graces for months.” Holding her by the shoulders, he lowered himself down until he was eye level with her. “His orders are my code, and he ordered me to deal with you.”

    Clouded amber eyes glaring at the human, Dacia wondered, “Have you no honor?”

    Sloan’s expression changed as he considered her question. Lips twisting into a careless smirk, he shook his head and answered, “Not a drop.” His hands were still firmly clutching Dacia as he straightened his stance. Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he muttered, “Now get out of my way, grandma,” before shoving the elder with enough force to send her flying backwards until her head collided with the corner of the desk.

    Thane reacted immediately. Quickly summoning his biotics, he shoved the human Blue Sun closest to him into a wall before slamming him down onto the floor, knocking the man unconscious. He moved on to his next target before the mercenaries even knew what was happening.

    “Dacia!” Cassandra and Neelah both ran to help the old woman, effectively fleeing from the combat zone the lobby was turning into.

    The five remaining men charged him at once, drawing their side arms and ready to shoot. Thane moved before they could take aim. He was a blur of momentum as he propelled himself to his next target, grabbed his wrist and twisted the gun from his grasp. With the weapon now in Thane’s possession, he turned the batarian around to catch the shots the other mercenaries fired.

    The batarian fell with a thump as Thane tossed him aside. He was moving again before the men had time to blink. Fists glowing a fiery blue, he slammed two more mercenaries down and moved toward the turian. Running straight for him, Thane leaped, hooked him by the neck, flipped the turian onto his back, and shot twice into the mercenary’s eye.

    From his crouched position, Thane shot the man standing in front of Sloan in between the eyes. Two men remained. The body collapsed to reveal Sloan holding Cassandra as a shield in front of him where he had his gun firmly pressed to her temple.

    “Well, that was unexpected.” Sloan slowly moved, keeping Cassandra between him and the bullet waiting to be embedded deep into his skull. As they circled around Thane until they had their backs to the exit, Sloan said, his tone conversational, “It seems you have some hidden talent’s there, drell.”

    Thane didn’t respond. His aim was steady on Sloan’s face as he waited for a clear shot. All he needed was the briefest glimpse of an eyeball and Sloan would be dead. From his peripheral vision, he saw the second man lift his weapon and take aim.

    He rolled out of the fired shot’s path, aimed for the chest, and killed the last of Sloan’s men. When Thane replaced his attention on the retreating Sloan, he found Cassandra thrown onto the lobby floor instead. Sloan was gone, running with his tail between his legs before Thane had gotten the pleasure of killing him.

    Thane rushed to where Cassandra was laying and crouched beside her. “Cassandra,” he helped her up from the floor. “Are you alright? Did he hurt you?”

    The tears that had filled her eyes now flooded down her cheeks as she shook her head. “No,” she threw her arms around Thane’s neck and cried out, “I was so scared, Thane. I thought he was going to kill me.”

    “He’s gone now,” Thane patted her back as he tried to offer her comfort. “I made a promise to Michael that I would protect you. My word is my bond; I will keep you safe.”

    “Dacia, wake up.” Neelah’s gasp drew their attention. Kneeling beside Dacia, she had the old turian in her lap and searched her for injuries. She pulled her hand away from Dacia’s head and choked on a scream at the sight of the blood.

    “Oh no,” Cassandra released Thane from her arms and scrambled to where Neelah was cradling the elder. Sitting opposite of the young woman, Cassandra inspected the cut on Dacia’s head and also gasped at the sight of it. “No, no, no,” she placed her hand on the injury and tried to stop the blood flow.

    Thane ran for the linen closet and ripped a towel free. As he hurried back to where the women were huddled, he turned on his omni tool and sent Dr. Leao an urgent message.

    “Doctor, this is Thane Krios. I have an emergency situation located at the Artacus inn on the corner of Eighth Street and Forum. There’s an old woman with a severe head injury and she’s losing a lot of blood. We need your help immediately. Please,” his tone was nearly as desperate as he felt. “We need you.”

    Deactivating his omni tool, Thane eased himself in between Neelah and Dacia’s unmoving body. While he’d run to grab a towel the women had placed a pillow under Dacia’s head and retrieved the first aid kit. Thane tore open the red bag and pulled out a tube of medi-gel, a needle and thread, and disinfectant to sterilize the wound.

    After verifying that she still had a pulse, he worked as quickly as his hands would allow. Carefully, Thane sewed the gashed flesh back together before applying a thick coat of medi-gel to speed up the healing process. Clipping away the extra thread, he set the tools down and watched Dacia’s shallow breathing.

    “She’s not moving,” Neelah despaired as she stroked Dacia’s mandible. “She’s hardly even breathing.”

    Glancing up from the older woman, Thane pinned Neelah down with a serious look. “Neelah,” his tone was calm as he addressed the young batarian. “I need you to calm down.” 

Gently wrapping her hand in his, he asked, “Can you do that for me.”

    Breathing through her nose, Neelah nodded quickly, tears streaming down her face. “Yes, I can do that.”

    “Good,” he released her hand and instructed, “Could you please call Niall and tell him what happened?” When she nodded again, Thane bowed his head. “Thank you, Neelah.” He then turned his attention to Cassandra. “Mika heard the gunfire. Go to him and let him know that everything is alright.”

    Without so much as nodding, Cassandra jumped to her feet and ran for her children. Thane watched her go, a moment later Neelah returned and he requested that she watch over Dacia as he went to wash his hands.

    When Thane returned Dr. Leao was entering the hotel lobby, medical bag in hand as she rushed to where Dacia was laying. Waving Thane over, the doctor instructed him to gently move the elderly turian from the lobby’s floor and into one of the vacant rooms. When Dacia was settled on the bed, she shooed everyone but Thane from the room and set out to do her job.

    “Am I right in assuming that this is your handy work?” She asked as she inspected the stitch job holding Dacia’s head together. In response to Thane’s nod, Dr. Leao offered him a small reassuring smile, “I can see you have some medical experience. You did good.”

    “Thank you, Doctor.” He watched as she tended to Dacia, the only noticeable sign of his anxiety was the balled fists at his sides. “Can you save her?”

    Dr. Leao paused for just a moment. Without looking up, she provided, “I’m going to do everything that I can.”

    It didn’t feel like enough, but it had to be. Thane fell to his knees beside Dacia and took her talons into his hands. Pressing her arthritic knuckles to his lips he prayed to Kalahira, begging the goddess for only a bit more time.

    After what felt like an eternity, Dacia’s eyes began to flutter. Mandible’s flicking, a soft groan escaped from the old woman. Her voice was hoarse as she croaked, “Thane?”

    A grin lifted his lips and Thane placed several more kisses to Dacia’s knuckles. “I’m here, Dacia.”

    The elder nodded slowly. With a cough, she asked, “Where is Niall? Where is my grandson?”

    “He is on his way,” he assured her as he gently squeezed her talons.

    She smiled, “He better be. If I die before I get to see him, I’m going to be very upset.”

    “Not as upset as he’ll be,” Thane lifted his gaze from her talons and met her amber eyes. “He needs you, Dacia.”

    The old turian shook her head. Breathlessly, she corrected, “He only thinks he does. Niall is a strong, smart young man. He’ll be fine.” When Thane didn’t reply, she gave his hand a weak squeeze. “I’ve lived a good life, Thane. Today I die with no regrets.”

    “I know,” Thane murmured.

    Her mandibles flapped as she offered him a wanning grin. “When I meet your Siha in the afterlife, I will send her your love.”

    Bowing his head, Thane pressed her knuckles to his brow and whispered, “Thank you, Dacia.”

    “Mister Krios,” Dr. Leao tore his attention from Dacia. There was a serious look in her dark blue eyes as she said, “I’m going to need you to leave the room for a moment. I need space to do my job.”

    He looked down at Dacia, reluctant to leave her side, but he knew that if Dr. Leao needed space it was what he needed to give her. “If you need anything, I’ll be right outside the door.”

    “Thank you,” said the doctor as Thane got up and left her to her job.

    Taking his post outside of the hotel room, Thane wiped a hand over his face and rubbed his eyes. His mind went back to Sloan’s attack, retracing his steps and how this could have been prevented. He had acted too late. Instinct had told him to defend his friends, and instead he had listened to the elderly woman who thought that men like Sloan could be reasoned with. He always trusted instinct, with no exceptions, and this was why.

    His reflexes reacted before he was returned from his memory. When Thane blinked back into the present he had Dr. Leao’s wrist firmly gripped between them. The asari was staring at him in shock, too surprised to cry out or pull away.

    Immediately releasing his hold, Thane apologized, “Please forgive me, Dr. Leao. I was caught in a memory.”

    Rubbing her wrist, the doctor shook her head. “I should be the one to apologize. I saw the bodies out there. I should know better than to sneak up on a trained killer.”

    Thane set his jaw and nodded. She hadn’t spoken with animosity, but her tone did have the slightest turn of revulsion. He couldn’t suppress decades of assassin training. In the end it was what had saved Cassandra and Neelah from also getting hurt.

    The two women appeared down the hall. Spotting Thane and Dr. Leao standing outside of the room, they ran up to find out what the elder turian’s condition was.

    “Good, you’re all here.” Dr. Leao addressed them all; her typical friendly manner had vanished in place of a strictly professional one. “The circumstances being what they are, I have done what I can for Ms. Artacus. She has a concussion, and a fractured rib. If her injuries had been less severe, or if she were younger, there would be more that I could do. Right now, she wouldn’t make it to a hospital. All that I can do is make her comfortable.”

    “What?” Neelah and Cassandra both started to argue. The young batarian frowned at the asari doctor and protested, “That’s it? You’re just going to let her die?”

    Dr. Leao’s jaw ticked. Shaking her head, the woman tried and failed to remain emotionally disengaged from the situation. Clearing her throat, she said, “I did everything I could.” Apologetic gaze panning across the three of them, she muttered, “I would say my goodbyes now. She doesn’t have much time.”

    The doctor didn’t wait for them to respond before shouldering past them and retreating for the exit. Thane watched her go, his heart in his stomach as he considered the old woman beyond the shut door.

    “Niall!” Dacia cried out. They rushed inside to make sure she was alright. As they gathered around the bed, her hoarse voice croaked, “Where is Niall? Where is my grandson?”

    Neelah sat down beside the elderly woman and took her talons into her hands. Kissing her knuckles she murmured, “He’s coming, Dacia. He will be here soon.”

    Dacia’s mandibles flapped weakly. “I need . . . I need to tell him that I love him.”

    Biting her lip to stem the flow of her tears, Neelah nodded. With her free hand she stroked the side of the old woman’s face. “He knows,” she whispered in attempt to sooth her.

    “Take care of him, Neelah,” though weak, her voice was firm. Her cloudy amber eyes searched the young batarian woman’s face. “Swear to me that you will take care of him.”

    Neelah’s tears fell freely. Trying to breathe past her grief, she nodded, “I swear it, Dacia. I will take care of him.”

    Dacia shut her eyes, dimly nodding her thanks. “I’m so tired,” she confessed.

    Neelah pressed her knuckles to her lips again, quietly she implored the older woman, “You have to stay with us a little longer, Dacia. You have to say goodbye to Niall.”

    “Niall,” Dacia whispered, “Where is my grandson?”

    “He’s coming,” Neelah repeated, her voice cracking as she cried. “He’ll be here soon.”

    “Promise me,” her voice was so soft now, “Promise me, Neelah.”

    Beside Thane, Cassandra shook her head. Her entire body was heaving as she cried. “I can’t watch this,” she gasped as she fled from the room.

    Giving Dacia a final look, Thane turned out of the room in pursuit of Cassandra. He needed to make sure she was alright. Too much had happened in the day for him to trust leaving her alone.

    Down the hall, Cassandra ran head first into Niall. Placing his hands on Cassandra’s shoulders to steady her, his mandibles flapped as he took in her miserable state. “What happened? Where’s my grandmother?”

    Pointing over her shoulder, Cassandra gestured towards the room she had run free from. Niall’s gaze followed her finger until it landed on Thane. His subharmonics filled the air with his anger as he gently pushed Cassandra aside and closed the distance between them.

    “You,” he growled, “We trusted you. You were supposed to protect her. You were supposed to keep her safe.” Jabbing a furious finger into Thane’s chest, his accusations stabbed him like a knife, “It’s your fault she’s dying.”

    Neelah appeared between them. Pushing Niall away from Thane, she cried out, “Stop it!” Niall paused at the sight of her distress. Her tears hadn’t stopped falling since the ordeal began. “Sloan killed her, not Thane. Save your anger for him.”

    When Niall cupped her face in his hands and caught her streaming tears with his thumbs, Neelah said, “She’s waiting for you. If you don’t go to her now you’ll lose her forever.”

    Niall searched Neelah’s eyes, summoning the strength to do as she instructed. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his gaze from the young woman and started for the room where Dacia was dying.

    From the hall they could hear the hushed conversation.

    “Grandmother?” Niall’s subharmonics were vibrating so loudly with his despair that gooseflesh began to prick along Cassandra’s arms.

    Dacia’s voice was weak, barely audible from where they stood in the hall. “Niall, you’re here.”

    “Of course I’m here, grandmother.”

    “I’m so tired.”

    “Please don’t go yet, grandmother. I need you. What am I supposed to do without you?”

    “You are a good boy, Niall. You’ll be fine.”

    “I won’t.”

    “You will.” Her words were just breaths now, Dacia’s strength was gone. “Remember your meditations.”

    The young Artacus choked on a sob. “I will, grandmother.”

    “Don’t be sad, son. I’m going to see your parents, my mate, my family.” She breathed. “I love you, Niall.”

    “I love you too, grandmother.”

    The silence that followed was earth-shattering. Thane shut his eyes to tame his rioting emotions. His dear friend was gone, and the galaxy was lesser because of it.


	19. Chapter 19

    It had taken a lot of convincing on Neelah’s part for Niall to accept that Thane wasn’t to blame for Dacia’s death. Only after she and Cassandra had both explained to him in detail what had happened, and Thane recounted the memory, did Niall pause to consider that perhaps his accusations were wrong.

    It was easier for the young Artacus to blame a man he’d never completely trusted, than it was to realize that the faction he loyally served had killed his last living relative. Thane understood Niall’s position and didn’t take the young man’s temporary hostility to heart.

    In the weeks that followed Dacia’s death he, Cassandra, and the children continued their work at the inn. Dacia was gone, but the inn needed to keep running. Under Neve’s command, the Blue Suns were terrorizing Zorya. More business owners were losing their shops, and families were losing their homes. The inn found itself with an unfortunate influx of guests, where it had remained mostly vacant before.

    Perusing the halls, Thane paused when he found Niall standing in front of a window, glaring beyond it at the city surrounding them. The tension winding up the young man’s body gave away Niall’s thoughts as if he were screaming them aloud. His stance was straight like a rod, and his mandibles were tightly clasped against his cheeks. Niall had been mostly silent since Dacia departed from her body. Aside from his short interactions with Neelah, he was reserved and angry. Niall was plotting.

    “Revenge is a dangerous thing,” Thane commented as he claimed the space beside the young turian. Giving Niall a sidelong glance, he held his wrist behind his back and also turned his gaze out the window. “It is not the remedy for your pain.”

    Niall shook his head. Mandible’s flicking with his ire, he asked, “What do you know about revenge?”

    Sighing, Thane answered, “My wife was brutally murdered. When I found her corpse I pursued her killers and had my revenge.” He rolled his shoulders. The last person he had recounted this story to had respected and accepted him. Niall was reluctant to do either. “Justice might have lessened the pain of her death. What I did to those men was not justice, and it did not fill the hole she had left behind.”

    Without looking at Niall, Thane advised, “Vengeance will corrode your soul, and your soul is what separates you from Sloan.”

    “Your wife’s killers deserved what you gave them.” Niall glanced at Thane as he continued, “Just like Sloan and the rest of them deserve what’s coming.”

    Thane turned to face Niall. If he couldn’t appeal to the turian on an emotional level, then he would try from a logical one. “Your decision is made then?”

    “It is,” Niall nodded.

    “How do you plan on going about it?” Keeping his tone neutral, Thane addressed the young turian as though he were in the right frame of mind.

    Shrugging, Niall answered, “I have to kill Sloan.”

    “Alright,” Thane agreed. It was as good as any other place to start. “Sloan travels with no less than six men, each of which is heavily armored and armed with at least a side arm. You would be able to take down maybe three of those men before they out-maneuver you and shoot you down.” Niall didn’t have Thane’s training. He wouldn’t be able to replicate what Thane had done to Sloan’s men.

    Niall considered Thane’s words for a moment. Thinking of another way, he said, “He doesn’t have his men inside of the base. I’m still a Blue Sun. If I get him alone he won’t have back up.”

    With a slight shake of his head, Thane unraveled the second plan before it could cement in Niall’s mind. “He killed your grandmother; do you honestly think Sloan would be so careless as to be caught alone with you?” He paused, allowing Niall’s irritated silence to answer his question. “But Sloan is arrogant. If you get him alone it’s because he expects you to attack, and he expects you to fail.”

    “I don’t care if he expects it,” growled Niall. “I won’t fail.”

    “Let’s say that you don’t,” Thane would humor him if only to further prove his point. “You’ve now killed the second in command in the middle of the Blue Sun base. There will be fallout. If they don’t kill you before you escape, they will hunt you down. And if you manage to avoid being found, they’ll attack those closest to you in order to draw you out.”

    Thane set his jaw. His next words would hurt him as much as they were going to hurt Niall. “Now that your grandmother is dead, the only person left that is close to you is Neelah.” His gaze was locked with Niall’s as he tried to emphasize how serious he was. “They will come after her and they will kill her, and her death will be on you.” When Niall broke his gaze and shook his head, Thane asked, “Are you prepared to live with that kind of regret?”

    Niall’s brow plates furrowed with his anger. He didn’t like holes being poked in his plot for revenge. “Where are you in all these scenarios?” He took a threatening step towards Thane, his anger vibrating like an aura around him. “Didn’t you care even a little about my grandmother? Don’t you want to see Sloan pay for what he’s done?”

    Meeting Niall’s glare with his calm gaze, he explained, “Dacia was the closest friend that I had. I would love to see Sloan pay for taking her from us.” Thane took a breath before he continued. “But I made a promise to Michael that I would keep his family safe; and that promise is more important than revenge. Your plan endangers yourself and everyone that I’ve come to care for. I would sooner stop you than join you.”

    His mandibles flapped as he struggled between reason and his anger. After a moment it was reason that surfaced. “Fine,” Niall fell a step back, returning the space between them. “My revenge will cause more harm than good. I get it.”

    “I’m sorry, Niall.”

    The turian shrugged. “Grandmother was always my moral compass at times like this.” Turning back toward the window, he stated, “Without her I feel so lost.” After a pause Niall thought aloud, “I guess that’s why she wanted me to remember my meditations.”

    Thane placed a hand on Niall’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. When Niall glanced at him, he offered him a small reassuring smile. “It will get easier.” After a curt nod from the turian he left Niall to his thoughts.

    It felt like a lie. Anya had been dead for months now, and Thane still felt her loss like a freshly inflicted wound. Losing her hadn’t gotten easier with time. Instead he had learned how to live with the pain. Sometimes that was all that could be done.

*

    The image of Admiral Michael Shepard flickered as his projection stood proudly at attention. His focus was on the Councilors sitting behind their long conference table as he gave them the full debriefing. They called Anya to participate on this conference call for reasons she wasn’t yet privy to.

    “Where do we stand now, Admiral Shepard?” asked the asari councilor.

    The slightest of smirks hinted at the corner of her father’s mouth as he said, “The mass relay has been repaired, tested, and is ready to be reopened for travel.”

    The last hurdle to recovering what they had lost to the Reapers was finally repaired. It appeared their disconnection to the galaxy was finally coming to a close. It was time to retake what the Reapers had stolen from them.

    There were smiles of varying degrees across the councilors’ faces. “Well done, Admiral, to you and your team. Today will be the day that we reclaim what was lost to us.”

    Admiral Shepard nodded his agreement. “I couldn’t have said it better myself, Councilor.”

    The turian councilor bowed at her father as he said, “Thank you for your time, Admiral. Keep us updated on any further progress.”

    “Will do,” Admiral Michael Shepard saluted before his image flickered off.

    “Well that’s great news,” commented Anya as the Councilors turned to face her. “When do you think the public will be able to use the Mass Relays?”

    “I can only guess that the line has already formed,” the salarian councilor answered.

    Nodding, Anya muttered a slow, “Right,” and waited for them to tell her why they’d summoned her to begin with; she had nothing to do with reassembling mass relays.

    “Shepard,” The asari Councilor started. “I’m sure you’re wondering why we asked you to be here.”

    Anya didn’t reply, waiting for them to go ahead and let her in on whatever it was they were planning. It was always the same story with the Council. End of the world or not, Anya was their favorite toy.

    “With the mass relays restored, we will need to reclaim and reestablish our previous reach,” the turian councilor continued. “In order to accomplish that, we are going to need every Spectre we can get.”

    The salarian councilor nodded his agreement. “That means you.”

    Smiling, to soften the salarian’s curt tone, the asari councilor added, “We realize that you’re dead, as far as the public knows, and that puts you in an interesting position.”

    “A ghost operative would be able to see and do much more than our regular Spectres,” said the turian councilor.

    “Plus,” Anya added what she knew they would avoid. “It gives you the ability to deny knowing that I was even alive.”

    “Precisely,” replied the salarian councilor.

    “We’ve been told that your physical therapy is going better than expected. You already have infiltrator training. You would only have to endure conditioning, in order to get you back into battle ready shape,” The turian Councilor’s mandibles flicked as he regarded Anya. “The final decision is yours to make, of course.”

    Anya arched an eyebrow. “Of course.”

    “It is not a decision that you need to make right this moment.” The asari councilor smiled. “Take some time to think about it. When you’ve made up your mind, let us know.”

    Anya nodded her understanding. “I’ll think about it,” she stated as she straightened her shoulders in preparation for her dismissal. With a courteous thank you from the councilors she was excused from the room and sent on her way.

    Thanks to the weekly calls to her parents, Anya knew before anyone else when the mass relay was just about repaired. She’d known that it was only a matter of time before the relays were ready to send travelers on their way. What Anya hadn’t really taken the time to consider was where that would leave her.

    The meeting with the councilors had only solidified that uncertainty. If she went after her team, was it as a woman in pursuit of her lost friends? Or was she going to return to throwing herself into danger for people who didn’t really care about her?

    She didn’t exactly miss running around the galaxy for politicians. What she did miss was the fight. If her combat simulated excursions with Jack had taught her one thing, it was that she missed the thrill of a good fight. Blowing the pixels out of a fake enemy wasn’t the same thing as shooting the crud out of some mercenary scum bag that deserved it.

    Before Anya knew it she was walking into her apartment. Her divided attention had safely returned her home, and now she needed a drink in order to settle her thoughts.

    Walking over to the bar, Anya located the whiskey and poured herself a glass. She took a sip as she stared at the fire place, watching the flames dance as she thought. When Kolyat approached she heard him coming.

    “Is something wrong, Anya?” he wondered as he took a seat on a bar stool.

    The combating lights from the fire place and overhead lamps made his blue green scales shimmer like jewels. His cerulean irises, hidden in the blacks of his eyes, watched her closely. There was worry woven into his curiosity and it caused Anya to sigh.

    Setting down her glass she considered refilling it with another shot before she mumbled, “Why do you ask?”

    He also looked down at the bottle held contemplatively in her grasp. Glancing up, he said, “You hardly ever drink; the only exception being when you have a lot on your mind that you don’t want to think about.”

    Anya allowed a smirk to twist the corner of her mouth as she stared at the whiskey. After another sigh she decided against a second shot and put it away. Looking up to meet Kolyat’s concerned gaze she smiled a little deeper, “You know me so well, Kolyat.”

    The young man shrugged. “I blame the perfect memory.”

    Shaking her head, Anya leaned forward and rested her elbows on the bar as she perched her chin on a fist. After a silent moment of consideration, she decided to tell Kolyat what was on her mind. “The Council wanted to talk to me today.”

    He tilted his head curiously. Blinking both lids, he asked, “What about?”

    “The mass relay is fixed,” she paused long enough for him to voice his satisfaction. When Kolyat waited patiently for her to move onto the reason behind her drinking, she explained. “They asked me to reinstate my Spectre status as a ghost operative.”

    Kolyat didn’t say anything for a moment as he thought about what she said and what it meant. Meeting her uncertain gaze, he asked, “And what did you tell them?”

    She shrugged. “Nothing; they told me to think about it.” Lifting the glass between them she muttered, “Hence the drinking,” and set it in the sink.

    “What do you want to do?” wondered Kolyat as he drummed his fingers on the countertop between them.

    Anya shrugged again. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Before, I didn’t think that I’d ever get a chance to have a domestic life. When I met your father it’s all I wanted. After he died I didn’t let myself even think about living past the war. And now, after rooming with you, civilian life has been . . . fun, I guess.” Anya shook her head, unable get her mind to settle one way or the other.

    Kolyat nodded his understanding. “When do you have to tell them your decision?”

    “I don’t know,” she sighed. “When I’ve come to a decision, I’m guessing.”

    Kolyat fell silent for a moment. Pursing his lips as he thought, his drumming fingers came to a stop and he said, “Well I suppose the beauty of being dead is that you can do whatever the hell you want.” He offered her one of his rare grins, and Anya couldn’t help but return it. “Living with you has been fun. A lot more fun than I expected it to be.” He glanced away from her with the admission. “But you haven’t seen your smile when you come home after your girls night with Jack. “

    He bore his gaze into her, regarding her with a serious look. “Just because my father is gone doesn’t mean that you have to bar yourself off from a domestic life. With the way you treat me and Oriana, you’d make a great mother. You can always adopt. But maybe you don’t want to have a boring normal life, you’re an excellent soldier, a fantastic leader, and you can be terrifying sometimes.”

    Taking Anya’s hand into his, Kolyat gave it a squeeze. “You have options, Anya. You should explore all of them before making a decision.”

    Squeezing his hand back, she asked, “And when did you become so wise?”

    “It’s not just a hat rack, Anya.” he replied, playfully tapping his head.

    At that she laughed. “Thanks for the perspective, Kolyat.” He nodded in response, silently accepting her gratitude in a manner that reminded her of his father.

    Pushing herself off of the counter, Anya moved towards the office, and shouted over her shoulder, “I’m going to give my parents a quick call. You want me to send them your smooches?” She grinned at the sound of him groaning.

    Anya took a seat at her desk and leaned back as she waited for her terminal to connect with her parents.

    Hannah Shepard appeared on the screen. Her silver threaded auburn hair had been released from its bun and was cascading down her shoulders in sleek waves. A smile grew across her lips as she took in the sight of her daughter.

    “Sweetheart,” she said in greeting, “How are you doing?”

    “I’m well, Mom, thank you for asking.” Smiling at her mother, Anya observed, “So I hear congratulations are in order. The mass relay is working again, and it’s all thanks to dear ol’ mumsy and pop.”

    Hannah shook her head. The smile on her lips was vibrant with her mirth. “It’s all thanks to the science team. Your father and I were just the guard dogs.”

    “You know,” Anya inspected her cuticles as she playfully suggested, “We Shepards, with all of our powers combined, could very easily conquer the known galaxy.”

    The laugh that sounded from Hannah was heartwarming. A moment later her features sobered as she said, “My son and daughter-in-law are missing. There will be no galaxy domination until I find my grandbabies.”

    Anya also sobered at the thought of her missing family. With the mass relay open, finding them had to be a priority. “Do you know where they are?”

    “We have a direction at least,” said Hannah after shaking her head. “The company your brother works for sent him into the Attican Traverse just as the war was starting. With how poorly we were all keeping track of our records, I supposed they can’t be blamed for losing the information that could tell us where he is exactly.”

    Thinking about her missing brother, Anya decided a change of subject was what they needed in order to not spiral into worry. “I guess the good thing about not having a uterus is now you can’t pester me about making you grandbabies.”

    Hannah Shepard raised an eyebrow. “There’s still adoption.”

    Shrugging, Anya replied, “That’s what Kolyat said.”

    “Speaking of, how is he?”

    “Fine,” Anya replied. “Wise beyond his years.”

    “How so?”

    “With the relay now open the council wants to reclaim their supreme dominance, or whatever.” She sighed, suddenly tired of the topic. “They asked me to become a Spectre again, as a ghost operative. He imparted me with some sage wisdom”

    “What have you decided?”

    “I haven’t.” Anya sighed again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

    “Well,” Hannah smiled proudly at her daughter. “Whatever you decide, your father and I support you every step of the way.”

    “Yeah, I know.” She returned her mother’s smile, if somewhat weakly. “Thanks, Mom.”

    “I have to go do some paperwork, but we’ll talk again soon, okay sweetie?”

    “Talk to you later, Mom. Send Dad my love.”

    “I will, love you, Annie.”

    “Love you too, mom.”

    Her mother leaned forward to disconnect the call, but paused as a thought occurred to her. “Oh, and honey,” she waited for Anya to mutter a reply. “I have it on good authority that the Normandy is going to stop by the Citadel to pay tribute to your ‘memorial’.” With a knowing smile, she suggested, “Might want to stock up on alcohol and food.”

    “Noted,” Anya smiled as well, “Thanks for the heads up.”

    “Have fun, dear.” Hannah blew Anya a kiss before disconnecting and leaving Anya to stare at the blank screen.

    Anya pushed herself up from her seat and returned to the living room to find Kolyat chatting with a certain tattoo clad biotic with a language more colorful than her past.

    “I shit you not, kid,” exclaimed Jack as she theatrically gestured with her story. “Out comes her clone, and Shepard looks the bitch in the eyes and says,” Jack puts on her best imitation of Anya’s commander face, “You’re good looks aren’t going to save you.” Slapping her knee and laughing, Jack shook her head, “I wouldn’t have believed it if Vakarian hadn’t told me himself.”

    “What happened to the clone?”

    “Died,” Jack answered with a shit eating grin. “Shepard told her to ‘get off her ship’ and watched the bitch plummet to her death.”

    “Killing myself was satisfying,” said Anya as she joined them in the living room. She caught the subtle change in Kolyat’s smile at the sound of her words. Anya addressed their visitor before Kolyat could remember a time when suicide had been the only viable option for her.

    “What brings you here, Jack?”

    Pushing herself from the sofa, Jack straightened her pants as she approached Anya. There was a small smile on her lips, caught somewhere between weary and excited. “I’m sure you’ve already heard about the mass relay being fixed. I’m taking my kids back to Grissom Academy.”

    Jack shrugged and crossed her arms in front of her chest as she continued. “I was making a difference there before. And with the war won and over, I don’t think the galaxy needs me and my kids to die for it anymore. It’s time that we got the show on the road.”

    Anya gave Jack an understanding smile. Grabbing her by the shoulder, she pulled the biotic into a tight embrace and said, “Thanks for helping me get my game back.”

    Jack’s laugh was boisterous as they parted from the embrace. “And there’s another thing. You’re already kicking my ass again on the field. What fun am I supposed to have if I keep getting my ass handed back to me on a nightly basis?”

    “You should have thought about that before putting a gun back into my hands,” Anya shrugged.

    With another laugh, Jack shook her head as she thought aloud, “You without a gun in your hands is like me without any tattoos. It’s just fucking weird.”

     Features softening, Anya asked, “When are you leaving?”

    “The paperwork is getting done as we speak,” said Jack. “We should be ready to leave by the end of the day.”

    Anya nodded. It was soon, but Jack had a responsibility to her kids. With a heavy exhale, she observed, “I suspect you are going to be the first of many goodbyes.”

    Darkly coated lips smiling again, Jack replied, “I’ll be the hardest too. Take care of yourself, Shepard.”

    Anya’s typical response would have been something along the lines of ‘I always do’; but she hadn’t been able to utter the words since waking up alive months ago.

    In response to Anya’s silence, Jack’s attention went to the drell watching the women saying their goodbyes. “Take care of her, Krios. We all lose enough sleep over her as it is.”

    “I will,” Kolyat bowed his head. “It was nice seeing you, Jack.”

    “You too, kid.” Jack waved as she left the apartment.

    When Jack was gone, Kolyat’s gaze turned to Anya. “You’re not going to start dragging me out to the Armax now that she’s gone, are you?”

    Anya chuckled, “Not if you’re going to pout the entire time.” As Anya glanced at the time, she wondered, “Is Oriana still coming over?”

    “She’ll be here soon,” he assured her.

With a wave she motioned for him to follow her into the entertainment center. She plopped down on the sofa as Kolyat prepared the pop corn. The season premiere of Fleet and Flotilla was tonight, and the two of them had bets on whether or not the protagonist’s wife was really dead


	20. Chapter 20

    “James,” Anya moved before the burly man could trample her as he entered the apartment. Garrus carefully stepped in behind him, giving Anya a silent nod as greeting.

    Setting her jaw, she returned the gesture. It was her fault that they hadn’t spoken since their argument at Huerta. Garrus had tried on various occasions to reach out to her, but Anya couldn’t bring herself to want anything to do with him.

    The rational part of her reasoned that he was her closest friend, they’d bled together, and she owed him more than what she was giving him. It still wasn’t enough to sway her from cutting him out of her life completely; or trying to.

    Shutting the door behind her visitors, Anya turned to face the men that had invited themselves in. “What are you doing here?”

    James strolled to the refrigerator and grabbed himself some of the previous night’s leftovers. Without heating up the food, he retrieved a fork from the drawer and began to stuff his face. Past a mouthful of cold spaghetti, he answered, “Normandy’s docking today.” Shoveling another forkful of food into his mouth, he continued. “I wouldn’t miss that.”

    “Okay,” Anya crossed her arms, taking in a deep breath as she struggled to maintain her patience with the marine. “But why are you here?”

    It was Garrus who answered, “Vega thought it would be a good idea for us all to go together as the welcoming party.” His steel blue eyes were inspecting Anya closely, watching as she resisted the irritation that his company was causing her.

    Glancing at the time, she said, “They shouldn’t be here for another hour.” Her eyes skipped right over the turian beside her as she addressed James. “Do you plan on cleaning out my fridge entirely before we head out?”

    “You kidding me?” James spoke with his cheeks stuffed full like a rodent. Waving a hand at Garrus, he explained, “I’ve been crashing at Scar’s place, and he only has his dextro-whatever crap. I’m starving.”

    Garrus’ mandibles flicked with his amusement. He shrugged indifferently. “I offered to get groceries.”

    James inhaled the last bit of food before throwing the empty Tupperware into the sink. With a satisfied clap of his hands he started for the door, cutting past where Anya and Garrus stood watching him. “Come on, old timers,” he said over his shoulder. “We have to get there before those idiot reporters find out about the back door.”

    Shaking her head, Anya had little choice but to follow the man out of her apartment and to the docking bay. James was a neutralizer. If it wasn’t for his presence, Anya and Garrus wouldn’t have been able to spend the hour together, waiting for the Normandy to dock and their friends to return.

    James kept things from becoming awkward. He would speak to both Anya and Garrus without forcing them to speak to each other. It couldn’t have been easy, but Anya appreciated his efforts. They chatted for a while, exchanging the events since they’d last seen each other. Anya missed having James around.

    Almost exactly an hour later the Normandy’s arrival was announced. They anxiously waited for the dock doors to part. When they finally did, Liara was the first one they saw. Her vibrant blue gaze landed on Anya, a gasp tore through her and she charged toward Anya.

    Nearly knocking Anya off of her feet, the asari squeezed her until she couldn’t breathe. “We heard that you had died from your injuries.” Liara squeezed her even tighter. “Even with my intel proving the contrary, part of me was afraid that the reports might be true. Goddess, Shepard, a message letting us know that you were alive would have been nice.”

    Anya returned Liara’s embrace with equal ferocity. “I’m sorry for making you worry, Liara.”

    When the women finally released each other it was only in time for Anya to be caught up in another hug, and then passed along into another one of her crew-mate’s arms. She was passed along at a dizzying rate until she found herself in front of Joker.

    The pilot regarded her coolly. He remained unchanged by the months of their separation. The lower half of his face was still rough and bearded, and he still walked with his familiar gait. The smile that inched across his lips was visibly forced.

    “Commander,” he said in greeting, holding out his hand as he waited for her to take it. “It’s good to see you in one piece.”

    Anya’s chest tightened. Taking his hand, she responded, “You too, Joker.” She knew exactly why he was acting like this towards her. Anya had taken the only woman Joker had ever loved. EDI was gone, and Anya was to blame. “I’m sorry for --”

    He shook his head, not wanting her apologies or her pity. “Don’t,” he shut his eyes. “Just, don’t.” Releasing a deep exhale, Joker returned his gaze to Anya and said, “You did what you had to do. I’m glad you’re alive,” before walking past her and disappearing in the crowd as her attention was swept up by another crew-mate. Traynor presented Anya with her beloved space hamster, admitting that she would miss the little bugger.

    Some distance away, Tali and Garrus were making a show of their reunion. The two were embracing, cooing and laughing in that painfully endearing way that couples did. Despite her growing distaste for the turian, not even Anya could help but melt at the sight of them together again. He deserved to be happy, not even she could deny that.

    “Shepard,” a soft tenor voice called her attention. Anya turned to see Kaidan standing behind her, his arms spread as she walked into his embrace. “It’s good to see that the reports were false, again. Even while Liara told us you were alive, part of me was terrified that she was wrong.”

    “The Shadow Broker is never wrong, Kaidan,” Anya scolded as he released her from his arms. “You should know that by now.”

    From somewhere behind them James let out a loud, “Estaban! C’mere and give me a hug!”

    “Everyone,” Anya referred to her long unused commander voice to gather their attention. “There are drinks and food at my place, let’s have us a party.” The lot of them cheered in celebration, each of them excited and eager to catch up with old friends and recount war stories.

It was good to have the Normandy back. It was better to have her friends with her again.

__

    The celebration lasted well into the morning. From her crew, Anya had learned that the Catalyst explosion had caused them to crash land on some tropical planet in the Attican Traverse. Without EDI the repairs to the Normandy took a little longer, but when they found their way off planet a quarian ship offered to help with the rest of the repairs. The crew had spent the last few months helping repair the mass relays and assisting civilizations find some normalcy.

    After a few days, Anya’s crew began to disperse. Anya was no longer active military, so she couldn’t resume command of the Normandy. Joker was the first to leave, Liara and James hitched a ride; Liara to meet up with Feron and continue with her shadow brokering, James to find out what his next assignment would be. One by one her friends left to restart their lives without the threat of Reapers and war.

    Garrus and Tali were among the last remaining on the Citadel. Anya knew that even they wouldn’t stay long. It was why Garrus’ arrival at her apartment wasn’t surprising.

    “Shepard, we need to talk,” he said by way of greeting when Anya opened the door and found him on the other side.

    She would have argued but the serious look in his eyes gave her pause. Moving to the side, Anya motioned for him to come in. As the turian entered her apartment she followed him the short distance towards the expansive windows. She waited silently for him to explain why he was there.

    “Tali is leaving for Rannoch,” his vibrating voice started. Mandible’s fluttering, he glanced quickly at Anya before he continued. “She wants me to come with her and start a life together there.”

    Anya remained quiet at his side, peering at the view beyond the window. Without looking at him, she asked, “And?”

    “And,” his mandible’s flicked again. He was nervous, not about his admission but about being around her. Anya could tell by the way he was acting. Garrus now regarded her like he would a wild animal. “I’m going to go with her . . . unless you need me to stay.”

    She turned to face him. Why was he making this her decision? When her eyes found his she got her answer. Garrus didn’t want to leave things the way they were between them. He didn’t want to leave Anya knowing that she resented him for some unknown reason. Her hackles rose.

    She didn’t care how he wanted things to be left between them. The truth of the matter was that she couldn’t stand Garrus. It had been weeks, months, and she still hadn’t learned to accept him back into her life. She wanted him gone, and if sending him away with the love of his life was the only way to do that, so be it; there were worse ways to go.

    Forcing a false smile onto her lips, Anya said, “You should go, Garrus. Take your woman and be happy together. The both of you deserve it.”

    He somehow wasn’t satisfied with the answer. “You’re sure?”

    “Of course I’m sure.” She bit back her revulsion and lifted a hand to his shoulder. “Rannoch is what Tali fought for. She deserves to build her house, and she deserves to do it with the man she loves.” Giving his shoulder a reluctant squeeze, she dropped her hand and returned it to her side where she wiped it clean on her pant leg and ignored the offended expression on his face. “Go make turian-quarian babies and live happily ever after.”

    His steel blue eyes watched her for a moment. “I don’t want to leave things like this between us, Shepard.” Rubbing his neck, he admitted, “You’re my closest friend. If I leave things the way they are, I feel like I’m going to be losing you for good.”

    Anya bit back the bitter, _you lost me a long time ago_ , and instead said, “Don’t make this decision about me, Garrus. Your happiness is with Tali, and I want you to be happy.” At least that was true. Even if she didn’t like him, Anya still wanted Garrus to be happy. He deserved that much and a lot more.

    “Alright,” he slowly accepted her words. “Then I guess we’ll be leaving tonight.”

    Anya nodded, understanding that the urgency was Tali’s. “I’ll come with you,” she said, “I’d like to say goodbye to Tali.”

    Garrus agreed before informing her, “Kaidan is going to meet us at the docking bay.”

    The four original Normandy crew members met up at the docking bay. They exchanged jokes and laughs, brightening up the last moment they would all be together for the foreseeable future. Garrus and Tali had only their carry ons; the turian hadn’t accumulated much during his short residency on the Citadel.

    Even though Tali continued to hug Anya as though she never wanted to let go, it was obvious that she was excited to return to her home world. When the announcement came that their ship was ready for departure, the couple left Anya and Kaidan with well wishes and promises to stay in touch.

    A large part of Anya was relieved to watch them go. Garrus was gone now. He was with the woman he loved and officially out of Anya’s hair. Breathing a sigh of relief, she combed her fingers through her hair as if Garrus had been literally entwined in her crimson locks.

    “Your hair grew,” Kaidan commented. When Anya turned to him, there was a soft smile on his lips. His brown eyes were warm as he regarded her. His fingers reached up between them and felt the long strands. “The length suits you.”

    “Uh,” Anya glanced down at his hand for an uncomfortable second before he removed his digits from her hair. “Thanks,” she muttered. Kaidan was acting differently towards her. She’d noticed it when he arrived with the Normandy. He was friendlier than usual, in her personal space but not enough for her to call him out on it.

    Straightening his clothes, Kaidan glanced at the time before looking up at her and giving Anya a playful grin. “So, it’s still relatively early. Do you want to get a drink or something?”

    She stilled as she considered his offer. Yes, he was acting a little strange towards her, but that was probably only because he missed her. The crew thought she was dead and only just found out that she wasn’t. It was expected that he’d be a little more attentive than usual.

    When she took too long to answer, Kaidan began to lay on the persuasion. “I thought you were dead, Shepard. After everything that you and I have been through we should be able to just hang out and have a few drinks; don’t you think?”

    Pursing her lips she mulled over the idea a little longer. They’d cleared the air back before the end of the war. Kaidan knew where their relationship stood, and where it wasn’t going. There wasn’t any danger of him forgetting that line.

    Sighing Anya relented, laughing at the slight pout to Kaidan’s pleading features. “Alright, Kaidan, you win. We’ll get a drink.”

    A smile brightened his face. Instantly perking up, he playfully held his arm out for her. When she wrapped her fingers around his bicep he led the way to Purgatory.

    The music seemed to pulsate though the entire space station. Beneath them the ground vibrated in time with the violent rhythm. As they entered the club, Anya looked to where she’d grown accustomed to finding the pirate queen lounging. She wasn’t surprised to find the spot vacant of the violet asari. With the mass relay now open, Aria had probably been the first one out the door.

    Kaidan guided Anya over to the bar, where they took a seat among a throng of couples and friends out for the night. As she settled down in her seat she was about to ask the bartender for a bottle of water but Kaidan cut her off, requesting two shots of ryncol instead.

    “Drinks are on me, Shepard,” he said in response to the furrowed look she gave him. “I owe you more than I can count.”

    When the green drink landed before them Kaidan lifted his glass and offered a toast to their long standing friendship, “May we have many uneventful years before us.” Not wanting to leave him hanging, Anya raised her glass to toast and shot back the unbearable drink.

    She felt the alcohol the moment it hit her stomach. A moment later it was sizzling in her veins, coursing through her like ink. If she moved too quickly the world would blur. The too loud music was suddenly decent sounding, and Anya felt her foot tapping to the beat. If she wasn’t careful she’d end up on the dance floor, making a fool of herself. She didn’t object when Kaidan ordered another round.

    They started talking about trivial things at first. After their second round, though, the conversation began to stray from the social safety-net of sobriety. They recalled old times, their fight against Saren, and how difficult it had seemed at the time. It was laughable now, after what they had both been through. Saren had been such a big deal back then, when in the whole scheme of things he was merely a bump in the road.

    Her face felt funny as she asked, “Are you kidding?” Anya’s words sounded slurred even to her ears. The time to switch over to water had passed three rounds ago. Before the thought could solidify in her murky mind, Kaidan waved for another round.

    Swallowing past her heavy tongue, Anya continued her thought with a sloppy grin. “I would have totally had a threesome with the both of you.”

    She chuckled as she brought the glass up to her lips and gulped a mouthful of her drink.  She knew she needed to slow down, but couldn’t bring herself to set down her drink. It had been a long time since she drank like this, she deserved to let loose with an old friend.

    Kaidan raised an eyebrow. His drink was frozen on his lips as he processed her words. When he finished off the beverage with a swig, he asked, “You, me, and Liara?”

    “Definitely,” her head was heavy as she nodded. The world was spinning. Anya grinned at the spiraling sensation, and had to place her hand on the bar to keep from toppling over. “Have you seen the tits on that woman?”

    He shrugged indifferently, quickly glancing down at her chest before a smirk twisted his lips. “Yours are better.”

    Her gut fell to her toes. A tiny voice in the very back of her head repeated how wrong this was. The conversation that they were having was going down a dangerous road that she wasn’t in the right mind to tread. Inebriated as she was, Anya’s inhibitions had abandoned her several shots ago. Before she could wrap her mind around the thought of putting Kaidan in his place, he was distracting her with another conversation.

    “I’ve never been one for sharing anyway.” Anya watched as the Major strategically placed his arm around the back of her seat. By the time she could think to protest he was placating her ill-functioning nerves with a disarming grin. “I’m glad that you agreed to join me for drinks tonight.”

    Anya tried to return his smile and wondered if it looked as fake as it felt. Picking up her freshly poured drink, she said, “I think it might be time for me to venture out from my cave,” and poured it down.

    Kaidan gave her a look that she couldn’t recognize in her drunken state. His brown eyes were twinkling as if she said exactly what he wanted to hear. Smile growing, he leaned in close to her as he admitted, “I’ve missed having this one on one time with you, Shepard. It feels good to just be the two of us again.”

    As Anya opened her mouth, to ask what exactly he thought was going on between them, a batarian elbowed her arm. Her drink soaked into her shirt and Kaidan reacted before she could even think to.

    “Watch it, pal.” He grabbed the batarian by the arm and gave him a fierce glare. “I think you owe the lady another drink.”

    The batarian froze under Kaidan’s icy glare. When he did look away it was to glance down and watch as Anya cleaned herself off. He nodded towards the turian bartender. “Her next drink is on me.” Apologizing to her and then to Kaiden, he disappeared before the altercation could escalate.

    “My hero,” Anya grumbled as she tossed the soaked napkin onto the bar. Without looking up from her wet shirt, she said, “Scaring him like that wasn’t necessary.”

    “He should have watched where he was going,” was his justification. “The only excuse I might buy is that he tripped over his jaw at the sight of you. “ Kaidan’s lids were heavy as he stared at her. “You look gorgeous,” his breath whispered over her face as he drew closer to her.

    Her heart was thudding double time in her chest, drumming loud enough to be heard over the throbbing beats exploding around them. Fight or flight instinct was trying to register in her highly intoxicated mind. By the time Kaidan pressed his lips against hers, she hadn’t decided between either instinct and was compelled to return the kiss instead.

    As it hammered against her ribcage, her heart screamed at her to fight him off. This was wrong on so many levels. She wasn’t ready for a physical relationship with anyone, not yet and not like this. Anya’s drunken mind couldn’t bring her to care. It had been so long since the last time that anyone had just held her. She needed this, it reasoned. What harm was there if she just let it happen?

    Kaidan cupped her face in his hands and thumbed over the smooth skin of her cheeks. His brown eyes were shadowed with lust. The smirk on his lips was predatory. He pressed his mouth against hers again, inhaling her doubts and replacing them with desire. His fingers combed through her long crimson hair until he had a fistful.

    Breaking their kiss, he placed his lips beside her ear and whispered, “Do you want to get out of here?”

     _No_ , her insides screamed, _never_. Before she could shove him off, Kaidan had her earlobe between his teeth. Anya felt herself nod, her fingers tightly clutching the fabric of his shirt as she pressed her body against his.

    She could feel herself slip out of her body as she slid off her seat and followed Kaidan towards the exit. The situation was now out of her control. Her body was no longer hers and base instinct had her blissfully trailing behind the Major.

__ 

  Anya woke with a start. Jolting upright, she caught herself before she could fall any deeper into the nightmare. The sudden movement made her brain throb in violent protest. She clenched her eyes shut as she gingerly held her head until the pain dulled to a tolerable ache.

    Wearily, she glanced over to the other side of the bed. A sigh of relief spilled past her lips when she found it empty. It had only been a dream after all, good. Burying her face in her hands, Anya tried to tame the migraine that was ripping the inside of her head apart.

    She didn’t recognize the smell of breakfast until her stomach growled and rolled at the same time. Her mouth began to water until realization struck her heart down into her uneasy stomach. Cold cereal with a side of fruit was Kolyat’s breakfast of choice. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes was the preferred breakfast of another man she knew well.

    Ignoring the protests of both her stomach and head, Anya threw herself out of bed and flung on some clothes. She raced down the stairs and flew into the kitchen, only to stop short at the sight of Kolyat scowling at their visitor from the dining room table.

    Standing topless at the stove, Kaidan was having a one sided conversation over the importance of properly cooking eggs evenly. This wasn’t a nightmare. This was worse.

The men noticed her arrival at the same time. Where Kolyat’s scowl deepened, Kaidan’s grin grew.

    “Good morning, beautiful.” The human greeted her from his place at the stove.

    “Kaidan,” she bit back her horror. “What are you doing?”

    He lifted the pan for her to see the perfectly even eggs. “Cooking breakfast,” he arched an eyebrow as a suggestive smirk coiled the corners of his mouth. “I figured that you’d be hungry. We worked up quite an appetite last night.”

    From his place at the dining room table, Kolyat nearly coughed up his breakfast. His dark eyes glared at Kaidan so severely the Major should have died where he stood.

    Forcing herself to look up from Kolyat’s angry gaze, Anya met Kaidan’s brown eyes and shook her head. “Last night was a mistake.”

    “Last night was fun,” he corrected, “you enjoyed it.”

    “I was drunk,” Anya argued. A defensive seed sprouting in her gut. “You got me drunk.”

    Kaidan shrugged, returning his attention to the eggs. “I bought you a few drinks. You could have said no at any time, Shepard.”

    “I wanted to!” She kept glancing at Kolyat, who was now a prisoner to the confrontation going on in front of him. What did he think of her now? That question terrorized Anya the most. “You – you,”

    “I what?” He scraped the eggs off of the pan and onto a plate. Placing the pan into the sink, Kaidan was now standing face to face with her. The browns of his eyes were hard as he waited for her to answer. When she couldn’t supply him with one, he answered for her. “I took you out, showed you a good time? You were dropping hints the entire night, Shepard. You can’t be upset with me for following through.”

    Her jaw fell. “Dropping hints?” She tried to recall the previous night, but couldn’t even remember how she had returned the apartment. “I was not dropping hints.”

    “Then what was all that threesome talk about me and Liara? What was the whole, ‘It’s time for me to get out more’ crap?” He placed his hands on the edge of the counter and leaned forward, waiting for her to give him a legitimate reply.

    “I was drunk,” she stammered. “I didn’t mean it the way you took it.” She shook her head, exasperated by how this was turning out. How could she have made such a huge mistake? “I didn’t mean for you to come on to me. I didn’t mean to accept your advances. I was drunk and you just kept the drinks coming. I’m not ready for a relationship, Kaidan, of any kind.” Tears began to well along her vision.

    “If that were true you would have stopped me.” Kaidan persisted, undeterred by her denial. “You never do anything that you don’t want to do. The fact that you drank those drinks and came home with me only proves that you wanted it.” His gaze darkened into a glare. “Don’t put this on me like I’m the bad guy.

    “You are!” she shouted and both he and Kolyat jumped at the suddenness of it. “I was drunk and you took advantage of me. I’ve told you before where we stand. You’re supposed to be my friend. You’re not supposed to get me belligerently drunk and then have your way with me.”

    “It wasn’t like that,” he insisted, shaking his head as he refused to hear her accusations. “I asked you. You wanted it.”

    Anya’s hands balled into fists at her sides. Tightly clenching her eyes shut, she silently cursed as tears began to stream down her cheeks. She didn’t want to argue with Kaidan anymore. She didn’t want to look at Kaidan anymore. Tearing her eyes open she growled, “Get out.”

    His expression quirked with surprise, “What?”

    “Get the fuck out of my apartment.” She aggressively gestured towards the door. When he didn’t move Anya roared with outrage, “Either you walk out or I will throw you out.”

    Setting his jaw, Kaidan shrugged as if he were over the entire confrontation. “Fine,” he grumbled. “If you’re just going to be a bitch, then I’ll go.” He grabbed his shirt up from the seat as he circled the counter and moved towards the exit. As he left, Kaidan muttered, “It was nice seeing you again, Shepard. Enjoy your breakfast”

    She watched the door shut behind him. Her anger was subsiding, leaving shame in its wake. Slowly she turned to find Kolyat still seated at the table. His gaze wasn’t shadowed by anger anymore. Now the young drell was looking at her with sympathy and understanding. The sight of it made her shame plummet like a sinkhole.

    Anya clutched a fist over her chest, trying to hold the tattered pieces of her heart together. How could she have allowed this to happen? She knew that she wasn’t ready. She’d known that nothing good came from drinking like that.

    Shaking her head, she fought the tears that were already spilling onto her cheeks. “I am so sorry, Kolyat.” Anya couldn’t bear to hold his gaze. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t mean to betray your father’s memory.” Her knees buckled and Anya was sliding down the counter as she cried, “I am so sorry.”

    Kolyat was instantly beside her, pulling her back onto her feet before wrapping her up in an embrace. “It’s okay, Anya. I’m not upset with you.” He stroked her hair as he continued to murmur reassurances. “He is to blame, not you.”

    After a moment she pulled herself together and Kolyat released her from his arms. Murmuring a meager thanks, she excused herself from his company and made her way to the office. What had happened with Kaidan was a taste of the ‘dating scene’. If this was what awaited her in civilian life, Anya wanted nothing to do with it.

    Sitting at the terminal, she started recording a message.

    “After some thought, I’ve finally come to a decision. I think that it’s time, and in everyone’s best interest, that I reclaim my Spectre status. I will report to conditioning at the time of your specification. Thank you for the opportunity.”

    Anya sent the message without second thought. She was a soldier; it was the only thing that she was good at anymore. She wouldn’t last in a domestic setting, not after losing the man she loved. Kaidan had proven that to her. She needed to fight until she couldn’t fight anymore. Anya was determined to find the honorable death she’d been denied on the Catalyst.

  



	21. Chapter 21

    “On your left, Shepard!” her partner’s voice shouted over the thunder of gunfire.

    Anya glanced to the left, peeking around cover to find a LOKI charging in her direction. Smirking, she broke cover to shoot the machine four times before it fell, scraping across the ground as it whined to its death. She rounded the corner and sprinted to the next available cover, shooting some cryo-rounds into the mechanical head of a nearby enemy as she went to relieve her partner of some pressure.

    Rolling away from the retaliating gunfire, Anya grinned at the sound of a mech approaching her location. She counted to three before reaching up, pulling it over the crate, and stabbing her omni-blade into its optical lens. Slipping under her tactical cloak, she lept over the crate and found herself caught between three more mechs.

    Anya incinerated the mech in front of her as she turned to shoot the next one in the head. Her arm hooked around the third mech’s neck and she threw it down. With a heavy boot, Anya smashed its head until nothing remained but sparking wires and broken metal. Glancing up, she didn’t even flinch when a bullet sped past her head and embedded itself deeply into the fourth enemy at her back.

    “Thanks,” said Anya with a heavy exhale.

    The female turian that approached her playfully shrugged off the gratitude. “Don’t mention it.”

    Nodding, Anya lifted her weapon towards the woman and fired.

    The turian turned to look over her shoulder, watching as the mech at her back collapsed into a heap of useless machinery. Returning her gaze to Anya she chuckled, “Thanks.”

    “Don’t mention it,” Anya shrugged.

    Her name was Lysithea Thracius. She was the turian Spectre the Council had assigned to Anya to both assist in her conditioning and to also take credit for all of Anya’s future good deeds as a ghost Spectre.

    In order to become the perfect team, Anya and Lysithea trained together daily, running through various battle simulations until it was difficult to see where one woman started and the other woman ended.

    Lysithea had a similar skill set as Anya. Being an infiltrator as well, her fighting style leaned more towards sneaking around and sniping their opponents’ heads off, than charging them down and duking it out. She was a woman after Anya’s own heart.

    The markings decorating Lysithea’s plated face were sharp and red, fiercely coloring her to look like a warrior painted with the blood of her enemies. She was taller than Anya, towering around 6’2, and her skin tone was a dark grey, nearly black. Her almost violet eyes gave away her snarky demeanor before she even had a chance to open her mouth. Combine her highly sardonic attitude with her competitive nature, and Lysithea was the turian version of Anya.

    “I thought you were still recovering from practically dying,” Lysithea muttered when their enemies were all defeated. “You’re not supposed to be this much better than me.”

    Anya laughed. Their kill counts weren’t that far apart, but she understood that losing even by a little bruised the ego. “Don’t beat yourself up, Lys. I was brushing up my skills for a while before the council put us together.”

    “I suppose there are worse things than being beaten by the renowned Commander Shepard.” Lysithea shrugged, unable to really convince herself to accept the defeat.

    “It still stings a little, doesn’t it?” Anya goaded her with a grin.

    Nodding Lysithea returned, “More than you know.”

    Anya’s laugh was interrupted by a voice sounding from the intercom. “Spectres Shepard and Thracius, the Dalatrass would like to have a word with you in the comm. room.”

    Brow plate quirking with curiosity, Lysithea’s mandibles flicked with her growing excitement. “The Dalatrass,” she hummed, “Are we taking assignments already?”

    To the voice overhead, Anya instructed, “Tell her that we’ll be a minute.”

    “As you say, Commander.” It wasn’t her rank anymore. She had to be alive in order to be Alliance military, but it didn’t stop those around her from calling her by that title. They couldn’t help themselves; old habits died hard.

    Turning her attention to the turian across from her, Anya moved toward the weapon rack as she asked “Are you ready to accept an assignment?”

    “Spirits, yes,” Lysithea exclaimed as she removed her equipment and placed them on the rack to be tended to later. “It feels like we’ve been training forever.” When they both relinquished their equipment, she turned to Anya and assured her, “We’re ready, Shepard. It’s time to test our skills against some real enemies. Don’t you think?”

    Anya nodded her agreement. She was eager to get back onto the field and spill some blood. She and Lysithea had been training for weeks, running through all kinds of sims and conditioning day in and day out. They were a team, and they were ready to prove it. All that remained was a worthwhile assignment, and maybe the Dalatrass could give them one.

    Smiling at her turian partner, Anya said, “The Dalatrass isn’t known for her patience. Let’s not keep her waiting any longer than we have to.”

    “Right behind you, Shepard.”

    The two women left the arena and made their way to the spectre offices where the Dalatrass’ image awaited them. Anya took a place front and center, asserting that it was she that would be making the final call; while Lysithea found a comfortable place by the wall to lean on and listen in. Being the senior Specter placed Anya in charge, making Lysithea her XO of sorts.

    “Commander,” the Dalatrass said by way of greeting. “I was hoping to recruit your assistance with an investigation.” Anya and the Dalatrass didn’t typically get along, but if there was one thing that she liked about the salarian, it was that she didn’t waste time beating around the bush with pleasantries.

     “We had a science facility located in the Attican Traverse that was attacked by Cerberus during the Reaper war. As far as we know, the entire faculty was killed. Protocol for events such as this one would be to destroy all available data.”

    She finally paused to take a breath. Her silence was short lived. “We’ve received information that a test subject survived the attack and is currently at large. I need you to retrieve and return the test subject.”

    “I’m going to need more information than that, Dalatrass.” Anya crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised an eyebrow at the salarian. “Who and what is the test subject?  What planet was this on? What were you testing and why would Cerberus attack your facility?”

    The Dalatrass stubbornly shook her head. “I will only divulge more information after you’ve agreed to the assignment.”

    “I’ll only agree to the assignment after you tell me more information.” Anya could feel Lysithea fidgeting behind her. This was their chance to get beyond the Spectre’s arena and Anya was declining it.

    Giving Anya a hard glare, the Dalatrass grumbled, “Then it appears that we have reached an impasse.”

    With a shrug, Anya rebuked, “I don’t think so.” She never really liked the Dalatrass’ attitude. During the peace summit with Wrex, she had been standoffish and unbending. Anya needed her support and instead she’d received the proverbial finger. “Either you give me all of the information up front, or we won’t take the assignment.”

    To the sour look the Dalatrass was giving her, Anya observed, “This sounds like something the STG would be more than capable of handling.”

    “If it were I would not have wasted my time seeking you out, Commander,” replied the Dalatrass.

    Anya shrugged again. “Then I’m sorry that I couldn’t have been more help. When you’re ready to release more information, you know where to find me.”

    After a short and tense goodbye, Lysithea pushed herself off of the wall and gave Anya a frustrated look. “What the hell, Shepard?” She walked the short distance between them so she could look Anya more easily in the eye. “That was the assignment. Why would you just turn it down like that?”

    Offering her turian partner a smirk, Anya shrugged. “I’m dead now, Lys. I now have the right to decline bullshit assignments from ungrateful politicians. She had the choice to give it to me straight, but wanted to keep vital information from me instead.” She shook her head. “I dealt with a lot of this kind of shit before the war, and I’m not dealing with it again.”

    “Alright,” was Lysithea’s reluctant reply. “You’re calling the shots, Shepard. But if you’re going to turn down assignments just because a politician is an asshole, we’re going to be waiting around for a while.”

    Anya laughed, agreeing with the other woman’s observation. The comm. made a sound as though another call was trying to patch through. Giving the terminal a curious look, Anya muttered to her partner, “The Council.”

    “Think the Dalatrass told on you?”

    Smiling, she replied, “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

    With a nod she gestured to Lysithea that she was going to connect the call. When the turian had returned to her place by the wall, the asari Councilor’s likeness flickered to life before them.

    “Spectres Shepard and Thracius, we hear that your training is at its finest.”

    “It is,” replied Anya with only the slimmest undertone of overconfidence.

    Nodding, the Councilor went on. “Then I’m sure you’re eager to test your skills on the field. I, on behalf of the Council, have an assignment for you.” Anya quietly waited for the asari to get on with it. “It’s our goal to unite the galaxy, and we are currently in a position to advance in that venture. There is a planet in the Attican Traverse that is being controlled by the Blue Suns. We would like for the both of you to infiltrate their base and take out the operation at its heart.”

    Anya glanced back at Lysithea, an eyebrow raised. The turian replied with a nod. Returning her attention to the asari councilor, Anya said, “It would be our pleasure, Councilor.”

    The Councilor bowed her head in gratitude. “All the information we have on the base will be forwarded to your terminal. Thank you for your time, Spectres.”

    When the asari’s image disappeared Lysithea said, “Now that’s more like it.” She excitedly rubbed her talons together. “Blue Suns are bound to put up a fight.”

    Before Anya could comment on whether or not it would be a good fight, the comm. began to alert them to another call. She glanced over to the turian beside her, who shrugged, and connected the call. The familiar, and welcome, image of Admiral Hackett appeared before them. Anya immediately stood at attention

    “Admiral,” Anya said in greeting, “What can I do for you?”

    Admiral Hackett had a strong resemblance to her father. The two men had been serving together for decades. Hackett was an undeniable influence in Anya’s life since before she could remember.

    “Shepard,” he nodded in return. “I’m sure by now you’ve already spoken to the Council about Zorya.” When Anya’s silence confirmed his suspicions, Hackett continued. “Zorya was originally settled by the human race before the Blue Suns claimed it. We want the planet back. I need you to accept the assignment and clear out the Blue Sun forces that are based there. Zorya is located in what should be a quickly growing part of the galaxy. If we can secure a stronghold there we will be able to expand more effectively.”

    It was never just a friendly call from one friend to the other with Hackett. There was always a favor. Despite her slight irritation, Anya replied with a curt nod. “We’ve already accepted the assignment. Lysithea and I are going to take care of the base. What’s done from there is up to you, Admiral.”

    He gestured that he understood. “Good talk, Shepard.”

    “We’ll do it again sometime, I’m sure.” With a salute, Anya disconnected. She didn’t even have time to inhale before the comm. was buzzing again. Giving the terminal an exasperated look, she said, “Gods, we sure are popular today.”

    “You know, when I said that I wanted to start working assignments I didn’t mean all at once,” muttered Lysithea with equal parts amazement and annoyance.

    Anya huffed in agreement, before rolling her eyes at the image of the lavender skinned asari that materialized before them. “Aria,” she grumbled, “Let me guess, you need a favor?”

    “Shepard, I see you’re charming as ever.” The pirate queen’s cool voice showed no sign of amusement as she said, “I know you have an assignment to clear the Blue Suns out of Zorya.”

    Her jaw clenched as she bit back her irritation. She shouldn’t have been surprised. Crossing her arms, Anya stated, “You’re well informed.” Not even half an hour had passed since the Council contacted her with this, and already Aria had all the details. “Is there a problem with that?”

    “Not at all,” a smirk twitched at the corner of her mouth. “Zorya went dark during the Reaper war. Their comms only just came back online and, unfortunately, the imbecile left in charge won’t heel. He’s a rabid dog, Shepard, and I want you to put him down.”

    “Well, that is the plan,” Anya replied.

    “Good. I’ll forward you all the information there is on the base.” Before Aria left the Spectres, she gave Anya a pointed look. “And, Shepard, this time do the galaxy a favor: kill him.”

    The pirate queen was gone before Anya could speculate her meaning. She and Lysithea warily watched the terminal for a minute, waiting to see if another call was going to interrupt them again. When the minute passed and the silence remained, Anya turned to her turian partner and gave her an amused look.

    “I think we’re going to Zorya.”

    Lysithea’s mandibles flicked once as she chuckled. “You couldn’t turn down the assignment if you wanted to, Shepard.”

    “Come on, let’s find out what we’re getting ourselves into.”

*

    Thane stood at the dining room table, leaning his knuckles on its surface as he considered what needed to be done. The mass relay was repaired and still and the Blue Sun leader refused to be separated from his position of power.

    Neve stayed hidden in the Blue Sun base, sending Sloan out to terrorize Zorya. He was keeping Blue Sun reinforcements from landing on the planet and refused to speak to Aria or any other higher power. The lure of power was too great for a weak willed man such as Neve.

    He knew that the situation was only going to get worse, but it wasn’t what had Thane on edge. The Blue Suns had Michael. Anya’s brother had done his part in piecing the mass relay back together. He had even repaired the comm. signal. His contract was complete but the Blue Suns wouldn’t let him go. If they weren’t going to release him, then it was up to Thane to rescue him.

    Cassandra was seated at the table, her face hidden behind a wavy curtain of dark brown hair. She was in a state of disarray. Her husband was being held against his will by a force she wouldn’t ever be able to face. Apart from Thane, she was alone with two children. She needed her mate, and Thane planned on returning him to her.

    Earlier, Thane had sent a message to Niall, wondering if the turian was still interested in recovering some justice for his grandmother. The response had been an immediate yes. The young man was on his way to Cassandra’s apartment. There they would discuss how that justice was going to be served. Michael needed to be returned to his family, but beyond that, Neve needed to be dealt with.

    “What if they kill him,” a breathy whisper sounded from Cassandra. She dragged her gaze up to meet Thane’s, her eyes red from crying. “He’s done his job, what use is he to them now?”

    “Some, at least,” Thane answered. He knew it would sound insensitive but he inserted, “If he wasn’t of some use to them he would be dead already.” Softening his features he tried to placate the distraught woman. “It doesn’t matter why they need him alive, because as long as he’s alive I can save him.”

    The knock on the door interrupted Cassandra before she could reply. After giving the woman a long look, Thane went to open the door. Niall and Neelah both entered the apartment, and headed straight for the dining room table.

    Niall spread a blueprint across the table’s surface, securing the corners with the salt and pepper shakers that Cassandra used as decorations. When Thane took up a place at his side, the turian began to explain.

    “I called in a few favors and got my hands on the base’s blueprints. I’ve got rotation, docking, maintenance, any and every schedule you can think of.” Niall’s mandibles were fluttering as he examined the layout of the base. Glancing up at Thane, he said, “I can show you every in and out of the base.”

    The information before them was invaluable. Rescuing Michael was Thane’s main objective, but eliminating Sloan and his boss was just as important. Zorya was ill, and to cure it he needed to treat the source.

    “Neve holes up in here,” Niall pointed a talon to the center of the paper. “He’s got ten guards inside at all times. Six at the windows, two on the inside of the door, and two on the outside, they don’t rotate because Neve doesn’t trust any other men to keep him safe.”

    “He has men guarding him in his own base?” Thane raised a brow.

    Niall nodded as he replied. “It hasn’t always been his base. He’s a little paranoid that someone might try and take it from him.” Returning his attention to the blueprint, Niall pointed further down the page. “The base has three levels. The first one is the docking bay and garage. We keep our artillery and firepower in the back. On the second floor we have our med-lab and living quarters. Third is the command center, where we have our comm. hub, the terminals, and tech stuff. My guess is that Michael would be somewhere up there.”

    Cassandra’s eyes were boring into Niall. “You haven’t seen him?”

    “No ma’am,” Niall shook his head. “I saw him when he arrived, but Neve wanted to speak with him immediately. I haven’t seen him since.”

    “Oh God,” she buried her face in her hands. “What are they doing with my husband?”

    Neelah placed a steaming mug of tea in front of Cassandra and took a seat beside her. Wrapping a comforting arm around the human, Neelah answered, “We don’t know, but we’re going to get him back.”

    “So here’s what I had in mind,” said Niall to Thane. “I can get you into the base through the garage. Once there we can go to the armory and use my security clearance to get all the way to level three. There are about thirty men stationed on that level alone; so getting through there is going to be a pain in the ass.”

    Thane stared down at the blueprints as Niall walked him through his plan. Finally looking up to the turian at his side, he said, “You don’t have my skills, Niall. I can’t bring you with me.”

    “What?” Niall’s subharmonics began to stir with his outrage. “Sloan killed _my_ grandmother. If anyone is going to kill him it should be me.”

    “Your grandmother’s memory will get the justice she deserves,” Thane assured him, “But I will not be responsible for getting both you and Michael out unharmed. Locating and rescuing him will be a difficult enough task, worrying about your safety is going to be an additional distraction.”

    “Forget my safety,” Niall growled with unwavering determination. “I need to do this, Thane. It needs to be me.”

    “It needs to be done,” Thane agreed. “But it does not _need_ to be you. I am more than capable of dealing with Sloan. I need you to trust me.” The silence that followed was assurance enough. Thane tapped the paper spread out over the table, returning the turian’s attention down to the blueprints. Pointing at a running design he confirmed, “These are ventilation shafts, are they not?”

    Niall nodded. “After Commander Shepard blew up the last base, we had a crap-ton of ventilation installed.”

    “I will still need you to get me into the base undetected. Anything beyond that I can handle on my own.” Giving Cassandra a sidelong glance, Thane returned his attention to Niall. “As soon as I’ve dealt with Sloan and Neve there will be blow back. I need you to secure a shuttle that can get us all off planet and out of this system.”

    “I can do that.” Niall nodded.

    Neelah looked between the two men. “Wait,” she said. “We’re going with you?”

    Bowing his head, Thane replied, “I cannot, in good conscious, leave you both here to live with the fallout Neve’s death will cause. It will be safer for the both of you if you left with us. We’ll go to the Citadel, from there you can decide what to do.”

    Niall’s amber eyes were watching Neelah closely. When his mandible’s twitched he added, “My grandmother is dead and your brothers abandoned you. There’s nothing left for us here, Neelah. Let’s go with them and start over, just the two of us.”

    Neelah was silent for a moment. She stared off as thoughts raced through her mind. Glancing up to meet Niall’s expectant gaze, she whispered, “But Dacia’s inn. We can’t just leave it, not when she worked so hard to keep it.”

    “Grandmother’s inn was an honest living. She hated that I work for the Blue Suns and didn’t want the money they paid me. She didn’t need the inn; she needed the dignity of hard earned money. She died with that dignity.” Niall gave her a reassuring look. “She wouldn’t want us to stay at the inn if she knew that it would put our lives in danger.”

    After another thoughtful moment, Neelah nodded her head. “Alright,” she gave Thane a brief smile. “We’ll go with you.”

    “So I’ll get you into the base and take one of their shuttles.” Niall paused at the sound of the plan voiced aloud. Accompanying his turian grin he wondered, “What could go wrong?”

    “A great many things,” Thane assured him. They needed to formulate a feasible plan, one that would ensure that Neve and Sloan met their end, while Michael was safely returned to his family, and they all made it off of Zorya.

    Their attention was pulled toward the entrance as the front door opened. Thane was moving towards the door in a heartbeat, prepared to deal with any intruder foolish enough to enter. He stopped in his tracks at the sight of auburn hair and pine green eyes. There was a smile on Michael’s face when he spotted his wife at the dining room table.

    “Honey,” he sang. “I’m home.”

    “Michael,” Cassandra was out of her chair before anyone saw her move. She sprinted the distance between the dining room and her husband and threw herself into his arms. As she buried her face in his chest, the woman began to cry out in joy. “I was so worried.  I thought they’d done something to you. Oh, Michael, thank God you’re safe.”

    He stroked his wife’s hair, murmuring reassurances only she could hear. Tightly latching onto his wife, when he did finally pull away it was to press his lips against hers. The couple held each other for a minute, undisturbed by their smiling audience.

    Beside him, Thane felt Niall fidget as he watched the heartwarming reunion. When the young turian met his gaze, Thane nodded. The plan remained unchanged. The only difference now was that all of Thane’s efforts were going to be on taking out Sloan and Neve. It was a change of plans that he was in full support of.

    When Michael and Cassandra parted, Anya’s brother strode towards Thane. He stretched out his hand in gratitude. The bright smile on his face had a disarming resemblance to the woman he’d loved so dearly. Taking Michael’s hand the human pulled him into a hug.

    “Thank you for keeping my family safe, Thane.” He squeezed him tighter. “They were the only thing that kept me going.”

    “I gave you my word,” Thane replied when he was finally released from Michael’s strong hug. “And they are my family as well.”

    “Dad?” Mika was standing in the hallway, wide eyed as though he were seeing a ghost. The moment that Michael took a knee the boy was running into his father’s arms. “Daddy!” he cried as he wrapped his arms tightly around his father’s neck.

    “I missed you, Mika.” Michael stroked his son’s back as he buried his face in the boys hair, breathing him in. “I trust that you’ve been good for your mother.”

    “Yeah, dad,” the boy could only stare at his father in amazement when Michael pulled back to look at him. “I kept her safe just like you told me to.”

    Michael tousled his son’s hair, the grin on his face was sure to deepen the crinkles along his features. “Good job, Mika. Now take me to your sister.” He stood and followed the boy through the hall to where the nursery was located.

    Niall took Neelah by the hand and said, “We should leave you to your reunion.”

    “No,” Cassandra and Thane both said at once. When Thane bowed his head for her to proceed, it was Cassandra who said, “The rescue isn’t necessary, but this plan needs to happen and Michael needs to be a part of it.”

    Minutes later Michael returned, his daughter hoisted on his hip and his son at his side. Kissing his wife, he looked down at the blueprints spread across the table. With an eyebrow raised, he wondered, “So what did I interrupt?”

    “Our rescue mission,” Niall informed him. The two men shook hands, recalling the last time they had met one another. Gesturing towards the table, Niall said, “We knew that you were being held on the base and were going to bust you out.”

    “Sorry to ruin your plans,” Michael laughed. To the questioning look in the eyes of everyone around him, he answered, “Neve wanted me to fortify the base’s firewall. He’s afraid of the intel that might be leaking out to Aria T’Loak or the Council. I was being held there to clean out any bugs.”

    “Why did he let you go?” Niall asked, unafraid of sounding insensitive. “Neve isn’t exactly a paragon of compassion.”

    “No,” Michael agreed. “He’s not.” Looking at his wife, and then to Thane, he sighed before he finally answered. “He didn’t want to, but where was I going to go? He has the entire planet quarantined from the rest of the galaxy. He controls the shuttles and spacecrafts that come and go from the planet. He has us all on lockdown and he knows it.”

    “He still wouldn’t have let you go,” murmured Cassandra. Her honey brown eyes were boring into her husband as she observed, “From what I’ve learned, Neve’s paranoid and sadistic. He wouldn’t have let you go unless he knew that he would get you back. What did you do, Michael?”

    Anya’s brother didn’t even try to deny his wife’s words. “I told him that I’d join the Blue Suns.”

    “Dad,” Mika gasped. Shaking his head he said, “You can’t. They’re bad guy’s, Dad.”

    Before Cassandra could reply, Thane reminded her, “It doesn’t matter what he promised Neve. I’m going to deal with him and Michael won’t have to worry about it.”

    “So there’s another plan,” Michael looked around at the surrounding faces. In response to the nods he received in return, he said, “Whatever it is, count me in.”

  



	22. Chapter 22

    Anya leaned back as she contemplated the navy color of her armored boots.  The ship hummed as it soared through the black of space, bringing them closer to Zorya with every second that passed. She tried to focus on the mission but her mind kept returning to Kolyat.

    Their goodbye left something to be desired. Kolyat, being as intuitive as he was, had regarded Anya as though he wouldn’t see her again. He’d given her a bear-hug and told her to come back safely. His request lacked conviction, as though he knew that no matter how fervently he asked Anya probably wouldn’t be returning. She hadn’t bothered to lie to him with false assurances that she was coming back.

    In truth, Anya hoped that she wouldn’t return from the assignment. She’d left the Citadel intending for this to be her last mission; and if this wasn’t the one that did her in she’d regard every mission after as her last. Eventually, she’d be met by a foe strong enough to end her suffering.

    It wasn’t that she didn’t have anything to live for, because she did. Between her parents and Kolyat, she had a surplus of reasons why she shouldn’t walk carelessly into battle. The fact of the matter was that none of her reasons to live outweighed her reason to die. She loved Kolyat as though he was family, but she loved his father more.

    “If you chew on that lip any harder you’re going to bite it off,” Zaeed’s voice tore her from her thoughts. Anya shook her head, finding her way back into the conversation. A smirk twisted the corner of the old mercenary’s mouth. “Which reminds me of the time that I watched a man bite off his own tongue and drown in his blood, bloody mess that one was; all to keep me from finding the pass code to his safe. If only I’d known Kasumi at the time.”

    Lysithea groaned as she rubbed her eyes. Without looking up to meet Zaeed’s amused gaze, she warned, “If you tell another story, old man, I am going to cut out your tongue.”

    The shit eating grin that stole Zaeed’s expression was classic. “This tongue is skilled, sweetheart; wouldn’t want to chop it off without experiencing all it has to offer first.” Lysithea scoffed and looked away from Zaeed. A bark of laughter sounded from the man when her mandibles flared to hide her turian blush.

    Anya smirked at the two of them. Shaking her head she pointed her attention at the freighter’s pilot. She’d recruited Zaeed when she remembered he was the reason she’d ever been to Zorya. The old mercenary had agreed to join her when she promised him lots and lots of Blue Suns to kill. It wasn’t Vido, that vendetta she wouldn’t be able to see met, but it was enough for him.

    Thanks to the idiot running the planet, access to Zorya was limited. So far the only ships allowed through the exosphere were the ones carrying supplies. Out of fear of harming the millions of innocents that resided on the tropical planet, the Council hadn’t cut off the resources entirely.

    Anya and Lysithea thought it would be a good idea to hitch a ride on one of the medical supply ships sent from the Artimus Tau Cluster. Lysithea had a contact on planet, an ex-girlfriend that desired the thrill of danger, but now that she’d had a taste of it wanted out.

    “So give me the run down one more time,” Zaeed muttered while he inspected his gear. The milky texture of his bad eye reflected the lights overhead.

    Anya pulled herself up from her slouch. Glancing between Lysithea and Zaeed, she reiterated, “The plan is: we make it through customs hidden on this here medical supply freighter,” she gently patted the empty space beside her, as if stroking the ship in gratitude.

    “When we infiltrate the base we bust out of here, guns blazing, and take down as many Blue Suns as we can. The base has three levels, bursting at the seams with them. So just point and shoot. We want to get to the top level, that’s where the big boss is holed up. Once we find him, we give him a one way ticket to see his maker.”

    “That’s not exactly a plan, Shepard,” observed Lysithea, her mandibles flapping as she chuckled. “You said you’d come up with one by the time we got there.”

    “I will,” Anya grinned. “And if I don’t, we’ll just wing it.”

    Her grin grew at the sound of Zaeed’s laugh. “You dragged me through the Collector base, and I came out no worse for wear. I’m not going to bloody doubt you now, Shepard.” A playful quirk lifted his brow as he wondered, “Do you still keep count?”

    “Of course I do. How else are you supposed to know how much of a better marksman I am than you?”

    “Wait,” Lysithea muttered as she gave Anya an unsure look. “What was the point system again?”

    Before Anya could reply the pilot’s voice interrupted them. “We will be arriving in the Faia System ETA fifteen minutes.”

    “Alright,” Anya returned her attention to her turian partner, “The quick version then.”

*

    Wide hazel eyes stared up at him as though they would never see one another again. Thane kneeled in front of the boy and held him by the shoulders. “I will return, Mika.”

    His brows furrowed with doubt. “Promise me,” Mika demanded, his jaw set with a determination that he’d inherited from both of his parents.

    A small reassuring smile lifted Thane’s lips as he acquiesced to Mika’s command. “As soon as I finish speaking with the Blue Suns, I will come back and we’ll all go to the Citadel. You have my word.” Nodding once, the boy threw his arms around Thane’s neck and hugged him tightly.

    Thane patted Mika’s back as he said, “Your father is going to need your help keeping Ana and your mother safe.”

    “I’ll protect them,” murmured Mika as he pulled away from Thane’s arms. Looking up at the young turian standing off to the side, he said, “You have to protect Thane.”

    “I will,” Niall bowed his head before muttering, “Not that he’ll need my protection.”

    As Thane stood, Michael returned the omni-bracelet to Niall’s possession. While the turian secured it to his wrist, Michael explained, “I hacked the Blue Sun data base and gave you security clearance. You should be able to pick out anything from a shuttle to a cruiser. I’d recommend something that you know how to fly, can fit all of us inside, and won’t draw much attention.”

    “Right,” Niall drawled out. After a flick of his mandibles, he admitted, “Flying a starship is kind of out of my league.”

    There was a tense pause that lasted a second before Cassandra broke it. “It’s fine. My father was a pilot. He taught me a thing or two before he passed away. We’ll meet you at the hangar. You just have to pick out a ship and I’ll get us the hell off this planet.”

    A breath of relief escaped from Niall, “That I can do.” His attention panned to Neelah. Taking a step toward the young batarian woman, he took her hands into his talons and pressed them to his lip-plates. “I won’t be long.”

    “You better not be.” She pressed her forehead to his. “Be careful,” her gaze moved to Thane when they pulled apart. A small smile lifted her lips as she added, “Both of you.”

    Thane bowed, “We will.”

    He and Niall moved toward Niall’s sky-car after a few more well wishes. They all needed the plan to work. It was the only way that anyone of them were getting off of Zorya. Settling into the vehicle, Niall turned on some music as they headed towards the Blue Sun base.

    Both of them were silent during the ride, contemplating what needed to be done in order to secure their departure from the planet. The plan was fairly simple. Niall was to get Thane into the base under the guise of another medical visitation with Dr. Leao. From there the young turian would meet with Michael and his family at the hanger and select a ship to get them off planet.

    There was an entrance to the ventilation system through Dr. Leao’s medical office. Once Thane was in the ventilation shafts, it would be easy. Killing Sloan and Neve would be the challenge, of course. Both men were surrounded by no less than six men at all times. Thane had faced more difficult odds many times throughout his career. He wasn’t worried about the fight. He was worried about killing the men before the entire base was alerted.

    Thane was a skilled assassin, a master in his trade. But the only time he had blown through an entire league of armed enemies was when Anya had led him. Alone, he didn’t think that he could face all of the Blue Suns on Zorya and win. If Thane cut off the snake’s head then the rest of it would die as well. He was hoping that when Sloan and Neve were dead, the faction would collapse and in the ensuing chaos he would be able to escape.

    It wasn’t much, but that was his plan.

    The sky-car landed in the base’s parking lot, humming quietly until Niall killed the ignition. The two men sat in the silence for a moment, a wordless communication passing between them as they prepared for the task at hand.

    Niall’s subharmonics were softly whirring with his anxiety. Quickly glancing at Thane, he instructed, “The Blue Suns know what you did to Sloan’s men. They know your name and they know your face.” His mandibles flapped to hide his concern. “Try to stay unseen until you get to the doctor.”

    Thane bowed his head, grateful for the advice and the concern. “I will be careful.”

    Holding Niall’s gaze he tried to impart the severity of his next words. “If I don’t make it to the hangar, don’t wait for me, and don’t come back for me. You are to take Michael and his family and you are to leave.” Niall opened his mouth to protest but Thane cut him off before the argument could be voiced. “I have no intention of dying tonight; but should something happen, I’m depending on you to get my family out of here alive.”

    Amber eyes watched Thane’s features for a moment. Niall was deciding whether or not he could agree to those terms. With a curt nod, he assured him, “I’ll get them out.”

    A breath eased out of him, lightened by the young turian’s assurances. The sky-car roared back to life as Thane stepped out of it. He turned towards the base but stopped short when Niall shouted after him.

    Niall waited until their eyes were locked before he said, “I’ll see you at the hangar.” It wasn’t a question.

    Bowing, Thane replied, “Gods willing.”

    He watched as the sky-car pulled up into the open air and left. When Niall’s vehicle shrunk into the horizon, Thane made his way into the Blue Sun base. Careful not to be seen by any of the mercenaries, he ghosted past the docking bay, through the stock room, and towards Dr. Leao’s medical office.

    The asari offered him a weak smile as she ushered him into her office. Shutting and locking the door behind him, she asked, “Did anyone see you come in?”

    He shook his head, “No.”

    “Alright,” she sighed before walking over to grate on the far wall. She took a knee and began to loosen the screws securing it in place. “You should probably do whatever it is you’re doing quickly. I’ve been in contact with a Council Spectre. This base is going to be taken down.”

    She grunted as she moved the grate aside and stepped out of the way. “As soon as you’re in the vents I’m out of here.”

    Thane nodded his understanding. “I appreciate all that you’ve done for me, Doctor. Stay safe.”

    “You too,” her weak smile returned in time for Thane to catch before ducking into the ventilation shaft.

    She replaced the grate and Thane was surrounded by darkness. With a calming breath, he whispered a hushed prayer to Amonkira before scaling the vent into the memorized maze.

*

    The freighter eased into the Blue Sun docking bay. Anya, Lysithea, and Zaeed stood at the exit, guns ready to be unloaded the moment that the doors opened up. Quickly fiddling with her omni-tool, Anya started the stopwatch.

    She glanced up at her team and nodded. In her chest, her heart began to excitedly pick up the pace. Finally she was going to fight a real adversary. She was beyond ready to dance with death again. Hopefully this time it would know the steps.

*

    The thunder of gunfire sounded as Thane pulled himself into the second level ventilation. It was safe to assume that the Spectre had arrived. Crawling through the tight space, he turned to his memory to find the quickest way to the next story.

    He didn’t know why the Spectre was here, or what he wanted. Thane knew that Sloan and Neve needed to die, and it was a task that he would trust to no one else; not even a Spectre.

In the halls below, the Blue Suns were crazed.

    The mercenaries were running around, shouting as they prepared to face the force invading their base. Soon the second level would be cleared and Thane could free himself from the tight space in order to find the next. The ventilation shaft he was currently crawling through didn’t have an exit on the third level.

    When the sounds of shouting and stampeding mercenaries dimmed, Thane kicked off the grate below him and fell from the vent. Landing in a crouch, he took a moment to listen to his surroundings. The Blue Suns were collecting at the bottom level, gathering as greeting for the Spectre. If this Spectre was anything like how Anya had been, the Blue Suns were going to have a bad time.

    Dispelling the irrelevant thoughts from his mind, Thane shot back onto his feet and snuck through the shadows. There was another entrance to the ventilation shafts in the common area. As soon as he was returned to the metal maze, Neve would be as good as dead.

    Thane cautiously stepped through the halls. His foot falls were soundless as he went to turn the corner. He stopped when a voice alerted him to the incoming Blue Suns. Pressing himself against the wall, he listened to the familiar voice bark orders at his men.

    “You three, go to the lower level.” Sloan ordered to the men accompanying him. “I need as many men between those three and Neve.”

    The three men he’d addressed voiced a collective “Yessir” before hurrying to follow their orders. They turned the corner and Thane was gone, hidden in the shadows further down the hall. As the last man passed him, Thane grabbed him by the collar of his armor and pulled him into the darkness. Swiftly snapping the human’s neck, he crouched beside his discarded body and collected his weapons and biotic amp.

    Sloan addressed the rest of his men, unaware that he was being hunted by a predator determined to see him dead. “The rest of you, go to Neve. You keep him alive or I swear to God, I’ll kill you all myself.” There was a pause before he shouted, “What are you waiting for? Go!”

    His men fled for the stairs that would get them to the third floor, leaving Sloan to face his fate alone. A smirk twitched at the corner of Thane’s mouth. This moment was a long time in the making. It was time to retrieve some justice for Dacia, just as he had promised Niall.

    Inching in Sloan’s direction, Thane stepped out from the shadows when he was certain that the human’s men were well out of earshot. Sensing that he wasn’t alone, Sloan turned to face the assassin. His expression changed with surprise before a grin expanded across his lips.

    “Drell,” his voice was nonchalant, as though he didn’t expect anything to come from the intrusion. The human’s arrogance blinded him to the danger he was in. “Somehow I figured that I hadn’t seen the last of you.” When Thane didn’t reply, Sloan wondered, “So, is this your attack? Did you invite some friends to help you bring down the Blue Suns?”

    Thane was silent, refusing to indulge conversation when the Spectre was getting closer with each shot fired. He had one target in his crosshairs, and another just out of reach. He wouldn’t waste time explaining himself to a dead man.

    “I wasn’t expecting you to be so talented last time. Now I know what you’re capable of.” He raised a fist, blue fire swirled around his knuckles as he summoned his biotics.

    Thane didn’t hide the smirk that coiled his lips. He replied, “You have no idea,” before he was moving. His racing feet hardly made a sound as he cut the distance between him and Sloan. The human moved as well, his fist poised to unleash an attack on Thane.

    Thane leaped to the side when Sloan sent a shockwave tearing through the ground, tearing the flooring apart as it sent a current of raw blue energy blasting in his direction. Beckoning his own biotics, Thane threw Sloan across the room, hoping to rip the human’s feet out from under him.

    Laughter sounded from Sloan as Thane’s attack made contact. He used the force of the ball of energy to bounce off the wall and push him back into the fight. Storming toward Thane, his arrogant grin grew just before he warped Thane’s defenses.

    Tilting his body to the side, Thane allowed the charging human to sprint past him. He retaliated with a warp, also weakening Sloan’s defenses. The difference was that Sloan would need them. When Sloan skidded to a halt and twisted back around, his face made direct contact with Thane’s fist.

    The human fell back, momentarily stunned by the suddenness of Thane’s appearance. Before Sloan could recover Thane was unleashing a flurry of attacks. Hitting pressure points, and striking nerves, he would have Sloan completely immobilized in a matter of seconds.

    Sloan recovered before that could happen. He raised his arm and intercepted Thane’s attack. Throwing Thane off of him with urgent force, he was slowly realizing that he couldn’t beat Thane in close quarter combat. Keeping some distance between them, Sloan unhooked a handful of cluster grenades from his belt and threw them at Thane.

    Leaping back, Thane felt the heat of the explosions on his scales as he dodged them. Throwing over a table, he ducked into cover just as Sloan opened fire. Thane peaked over the edge of the table long enough to locate Sloan before hunching back down before the human could land a shot.

    He sucked in a steadying breath before throwing another biotic ball at Sloan and rolling out of cover. Sloan’s weapon followed Thane’s every step a second too slow, every shot fired only just missing its target. Thane leaped across a counter top and rolled behind a sofa. Without pausing, he propelled himself back up and rounded the room.

    He had made a full circle around Sloan, counting each shot fired as the human continued to try and gun Thane down. When he counted up to twenty four discharged shots, Thane changed the direction of his charge towards Sloan, knowing that the human was out of heat-sinks. Sloan muttered a curse as he tried to reload his weapon. Too late, he realized that he didn’t have enough time.

    Thane was already on top of him, kicking his feet out from under him as he elbowed Sloan in the throat. The human landed with a thump, his eyes wide as he tried to suck oxygen back into his lungs. Kneeling beside Sloan, Thane looked into his dark colored eyes and found fear where arrogance had once been. Good, Sloan had finally realized his imminent death.

    “Please,” Sloan coughed. His hands weakly wrapped around Thane’s that were tightening around the human’s neck.

    A scowl darkened Thane’s face as he glared down at the human. How many times had Sloan’s victims pleaded with him? How many families begged for him to stop destroying their homes, their livelihoods, or their families only to receive Sloan’s wicked grin in return? Too many.

    Leaning closer to the human lying limply on the ground, Thane growled, “May Kalahira show your soul mercy, human.” He tightened his hold a bit more, “Because I will not.” With a quick jerking motion Thane displaced a bone in Sloan’s spinal cord, killing him instantly.

    He stayed perched over Sloan’s lifeless body for a moment, taking the time to say the necessary prayers before moving on in search of the entry into ventilation shafts. Quietly moving aside some overturned furniture, Thane found the grate. He removed it from the wall before climbing in and replacing the cover.

    Enough time had been wasted on Sloan. The Spectre was closing in on his position with each cry of death. Almost the entirety of the Blue Sun base had gathered on the ground level as greeting, and Thane could easily guess that none had survived the confrontation. Already the Spectre was making his way up the stairs that would lead him to the men waiting at the second level.

    If Thane wanted to beat the Spectre to Neve then he would need to hurry. Whoever this Specter was they weren’t stopping for anything.

*

    Anya shot a turian in the eye as she grabbed the closest enemy and used him as a temporary shield from the storm of gunfire. With a laugh she threw the dead body aside and rolled behind a crate. Now this was a battle; not that simulated bullshit she and Lysithea had fought through for weeks during training

    Not too far from her position she heard her turian partner’s laugh sound within the chaos. “I’ve met vorcha with prettier faces than you sons of bitches,” she discharged some well aimed shots. “Don’t worry; it’s nothing a shot to the face won’t cure!”

    The Blue Sun’s were inching up the stairs one by one. Most of their comrades were already dead, the blues and reds of their blood painting the ground around them. From here it would be a literal uphill battle. The stairwell was going to serve as a funnel and it was going to be very easy for the Blue Suns to just pick the three of them off.

    If they’d had any brains they would have used the stairwell in the first place. The three of them had already decimated almost all of the Blue Sun’s men and were pushing to destroy the rest.

    Anya threw herself over the crate and let out a fierce roar. Lifting her gun she shouted as she shot her way up the stairs. Shocked, the mercenaries reacted a second too late. She’d already killed another four men and was more than halfway up the steps.

    The remaining men shot down her shields, only to lose her as she activated her tactical cloak. Firing at the empty space she’d been, they missed every shot. Anya snuck through their line and reappeared behind them.

    “Boo,” she shouted before incinerating one man and shooting the others.

    Zaeed and Lysithea climbed the stairs as the men collapsed to their deaths. Staring down at the men she’d taken down without them, they glanced at each other before shaking their heads.

    “When Garrus said that you fight like you’ve gotta bloody death wish, he wasn’t joking,” commented Zaeed as he stepped over a lifeless batarian and pushed them forward.

    Lysithea inspected Anya’s handy work as she inquired, “You mean she hasn’t always fought like this.”

    The old mercenary laughed at the question. Glancing back at his female companions, a large grin stole his lips. “Shepard’s always been as bad as a krogan battlemaster.” Moving to the side he gestured for Anya to retake the lead and his grin turned shit eating as she passed him. “You just used to let us catch up before running into the gunfire.”

    With a shrug she rebutted, “You’re getting slow, old man.” Anya coughed out a laugh at the sight of the displeased look that took his face. “I don’t have time to wait for you and your walker.”

    Lysithea also laughed as she followed behind Anya, leaving Zaeed staring after the two women. “Perhaps we should bring the scooter next time,” she suggested.

    “Keep at it, Spectre,” grumbled Zaeed as he trailed behind them. “I can show you a thing or two this old man has learned over the years.” He chuckled when Lysithea’s body became rigid with his implications.

    Shaking her head, Anya ignored the old mercenary and his forwardness. Lysithea could handle herself and if she didn’t like the attention Zaeed was giving her she would have said something already. The only reason that Zaeed was even pushing the flirtation was because of how the turian Spectre responded to it. Banter and repartee made battle fun, Anya wasn’t about to stop good natured teasing.

    Their focus sharpened when Anya stumbled upon a body. A Blue Sun was lying in the shadows, his head twisted in an unnatural position. Kneeling beside the corpse, Anya inspected his body and immediately recognized that his neck had been snapped. Curious, she stood back up and readied her weapon.

    “What is it, Shepard?” wondered Lysithea with a whisper.

    She and Zaeed followed wordlessly behind her as Anya led them further into the second level. The three of them would separate to make sure that every room was empty, occasionally shooting a hiding Blue Sun before rejoining the group.

    They paused at the entrance of what Anya assumed had once been the common area. It had been reduced to a battle zone, and she’d only just stepped foot in it. As much as Anya would love to claim being the sole destroyer of the Blue Sun base, it appeared that someone had beaten her to this room.

    Anya stepped into the room, noticing another man lying amidst the destruction. He didn’t appear to have any outer wounds. She studied their surroundings. Judging by the bullet holes in walls and furniture, all the shots fired appeared to be from him. His neck too, had been snapped.

    As Anya stood, Zaeed observed, “You ran off without us further than I thought.”

    “This isn’t me,” Anya rebuked with a shake of her head. Peering down the hall that would lead them to the stairs to the third level, she said, “I think we have a party crasher.”

    “Well hopefully they’ll put up a better fight than this band of cannon fodder,” replied Lysithea.

Nodding her head she gestured for them to get moving. The Blue Sun base was almost cleared out but they still had fighting to do. Anya knew that more men would be waiting for them at the top of the stairs. Hopefully they were ready for them, because she was less than impressed by the men that they’d plowed through up until now.


	23. Chapter 23

    Anya stopped for a short breather beside their final obstacle. The door was locked, and she would bet on her life that there were guns aimed at the entrance, ready to be unloaded the moment that it opened. Whoever was sealed away in there made some piss-poor calls.

    The amount of Blue Suns mercs they had blown through was record breaking, even for her. The Blue Suns leader had served his men to the slaughter. It was legitimately disappointing how easily her team had made it from the base of the building to the top.

    Glancing at the two others, Anya smirked at their ready expressions. “Scores?” she asked as she checked her gun.

    Lysithea’s mandibles flicked with her turian grin, “Fifty seven; how about you, old man?”

    “Sixty two,” Zaeed’s smirk was victorious. “Beat you again, Spectre.”

    “Children,” Anya shook her head at the both of them. She wiped the sweat from her brow as she wondered, “Why do either of you even bother?” When they waited expectantly, she answered their unasked question, “Seventy four.”

    “When Wrex made you an honorary krogan I don’t think that he expected you to actually become one,” muttered Zaeed, his tone caught between disappointment in his defeat, and awe in Anya’s kill count.

    She shrugged before turning her attention to the turian and gesturing towards the locked door. “Would you like to have the honors?”

    “It would be my pleasure.” She sauntered up to the lock and woke up her omni tool with a wave. In less than a minute, the panel turned green. Playfully waggling her plated brows at Anya, she slammed a fist on the panel and retreated into cover.

    A torrent of gunfire was unleashed the moment that the door slid open. For twenty seconds the thunder of discharging weapons jarred the bones in Anya’s body. A smirk snuck onto her lips as she relished the sensation. Nothing made her feel more alive than the heat of battle. Zaeed’s excited laughter was evidence that he felt the same. This was soothing, far better than any day at the spa.

    When the shots stopped her smirk evolved into a grin. Show time. She dared a glance around the corner, only to cower again before her face could be effectively shot off. To her team she explained, “Turrets; two of them.”

    “What was the rule on turrets again?” wondered Lysithea as she readied her omni-tool.

    Zaeed grinned at the turian Spectre. “Three points if you shoot them down in less than a minute; one point if you use a grenade or overload.”

    “Damn,” she shut off her omni-tool and raised her gun to ready, “Looks like we’re doing this the hard way.”

    Waiting for her team’s ready nods, Anya took in a deep breath before slipping under her tactical cloak and entering the room.

    Seventy seven, she counted as she shot a turret down. Finding cover behind a pillar, she kept the attention of the second turret as Lysithea and Zaeed entered the room with their guns blazing.

    When Lysithea blew the second turret to pieces, Anya rolled out of cover. As she emerged from behind the pillar she flung a ball of fire behind an overturned table. The turian, who had been hiding there, howled as he was incinerated.

    Without sparing the unceremonious cremation a second glance, she charged the batarian in her crosshairs. He shot at her enough to bring down her shields before Anya was on top of him. After a solid three punches to the center of his face, Anya’s omni-blade activated and she stabbed him under the jaw. Not waiting for death to take him, she leapt off of the batarian, vaulted behind a sofa, and incinerated another Blue Sun.

    She blinked and the battle was over. Glancing down at the timer on her omni-tool, a smirk lifted her lips. The whole operation was completed on a little over three hours. These so called mercenaries should have been ashamed in themselves.

    “Well that was fun,” Lysithea sighed when the room fell silent. Zaeed chuckled in agreement.

    Standing from cover, Anya moved to find the reason behind all this destruction.

    A human was seated on the floor, perched up against the wall as he held his profusely bleeding shoulder. Grabbing him by his wounded arm, Anya immediately recognized the square set of his strong jaw and the pale blue eyes glowering up at her. The man cursed when she shoved him into the only seat left intact.

    “Fist,” she crossed her arms as she stood in front of him. With an incredulous shake of her head, she observed, “Of all the blasts from the past that I could have run into, I did not expect you to be today’s pain in the ass.”

    “You know this scum bag?” Lysithea wondered as she stepped up beside Anya.

    Nodding at the turian, Anya explained, “This is Fist, failed criminal mastermind.”

    “Nice to meet you,” Lysithea gave his injured arm an enthusiastic slap.

    A snarl escaped him in protest of the greeting. Looking away  from the turian beside her, he glared at Anya. “Shepard,” Fist ground out past his pain. “You’re supposed to be dead.”

    “And you’re supposed to be behaving.” Anya placed her hand on Fist’s injured shoulder. She smirked at his grimace, then not so gently buried her thumb in the injured muscle. “Half the galaxy wants you dead.” When he howled she continued, “And the other half wants you to suffer before you’re dead. How did you manage to piss off every important person in the galaxy?”

    “Must be my charming personality,” he replied past clenched teeth.

    Anya scoffed, “Doubtful,” and removed her thumb from his arm to check how many clips were left in her gun.

    Fist watched her warily. Lifting his gaze to her face, he asked, “What are you going to do with me?”

    “Kill you,” she shrugged. “I let you live once and you’ve been nothing but trouble since. I won’t make that mistake again.”

    “Shepard, please,” both Lysithea and Fist said at the same time. It was the other Spectre who Anya addressed.

    Giving the incapacitated human a brief glance, Lysithea said, “I’m going to be taking the credit for this entire ordeal. I should be the one to take out the trash.”

    Anya also gave Fist a brief glare. They had history, muddled and unpleasant history, but history no less. Turning towards the turian, Anya placed a fist on her open palm and said, “We’ll settle this the old fashioned way.”

    Lysithea gave her a questioning look but mimicked Anya’s actions. “What’s the old fashioned way?”

    “Rock, paper, scissors.”

    “I’m not familiar with the concept.”

*

    Shocked, Thane was frozen in place. He didn’t want to blink, afraid that the moment he shut his eyes the vision before him would be replaced by reality. Through the open crevices of the ventilation shaft, he could see the ghost of his Siha challenging a turian to a strange human game. Her crimson hair was longer than he remembered. Where before it had stopped at her shoulders the vibrant strands were now roped into a braid that dangled between her shoulder blades.

    Anya’s confident voice ricocheted off of the ventilation shaft’s walls, ringing in his ears and tightening his chest. Gods, how he had missed the sound of her voice.

    “So the rules are simple,” her hands moved in unison with her explanation. “Rock crushes scissors, scissors cut paper, and paper covers rock.” Anya watched as the turian mimicked her hand gestures. Thane fought a smirk from his lips as he witnessed her look down at the turian’s three fingered hand.

    Waving Zaeed over, Anya instructed, “Keep an eye on her. I don’t play well with cheaters.”

    Thane did smile then, as he remembered Anya’s fierce competitive nature. He dared to blink, risked losing her to the present, but when his eyes reopened Anya was still standing amidst the ruined office below. Thane’s heart swelled with emotions he had left behind with Michael; hope, love, joy. Anya was alive and she was standing only feet below him.

    A movement caught his eye. Fist – for which Thane now realized Neve was the Norwegian translation – sat disregarded in his seat, carefully watching Anya and her companions as he slowly moved for the firearm at his waist. Thane didn’t wait to see if Anya would notice the slight movement. He moved before the injured human could harm her.

    The trio looked up at the sound of the ventilation shaft’s walls announcing Thane’s movements. As Fist firmly clutched his weapon and released it from his hip, Thane descended from over their heads.

*

    He fell from the ceiling like an acrobat. Anya and her team raised their weapons, but her finger was frozen on the trigger. Shock paralyzed her and all she could do was watch as the green scaled drell landed behind Fist, grabbed him by the wrist until the weapon fell from his grasp, twisted his wrist and secured it at his back.

    The drell shot Fist with a weapon Anya hadn’t noticed he was carrying, and let the human’s body slump lifelessly to the ground. If she blinked she would have missed it. As soon as he dropped from the vents it was over. Fist was dead.

    Unsure what to do, Lysithea glanced at the other Spectre for some direction and was met with Anya’s wide eyes.

    “I’ll be damned,” Zaeed’s voice was little more than white noise to Anya’s ears. “You’re not nearly as dead as everyone thinks you are.”

    Her weapon was still aimed on the wraith, shaking as she battled with the hallucination before her. Anya’s breaths were increasing with the speed of her sprinting heart. The air had suddenly become thinner and she was struggling to fill her lungs. She and the phantom of her past love stared at one another. Painful tears started to pool in her vision. It had been a fight for her to pull herself together for this long, why was she losing her mind now?

    “Who are you?” Lysithea’s weapon was steadily aimed at the center of Thane’s chest. Her plated brows furrowed as she gave the paled woman beside her a disconcerted glance.

    It was Zaeed who answered. “Lower your goddamn weapon, woman. That’s Thane Krios, back from the dead.”

    Anya’s gaze whipped to Zaeed, a pleading look in her crazed eyes. “You can see him too?” she whispered with a shaky voice.

    “Yes I can bloody well see him,” the old mercenary gave her a strange look.

    Thane took a step towards them. When Anya’s wide-eyed gaze snapped back to him he allowed a grin to spread over his lips, “Siha.”

    Thousands of emotions fell over her at once. Without breaking eye contact, Anya lowered her weapon and clicked it back onto its place on her hip. She watched as Thane’s smile grew, encouraging her that it was true, he was really there.

    She took a tentative step forward, reluctant to even breathe and risk losing the vision before her. Anya glanced down at her feet, measuring the distance between them as the time she had left with Thane’s ghost. Bringing her gaze back up to Thane’s face, her attention was pulled to his smiling lips. It had been so long since she’d seen him smile, in her dreams a scowl had always been prevalent on those full lips.

    Thane also took another step towards her. His low gravelly voice purred her name as he stretched his arms out for her to come to him, “Siha.”

    Unable to hold back any longer, Anya launched herself towards him. She didn’t care that she’d lost her mind. For the first time in a long time Thane was looking at her with adoration in his eyes, not the loathing she’d come to expect.

    To Anya’s surprise, she didn’t run right through Thane. She hit him hard, knocking him off of his feet and landing in a heap on top of him. Gawking down at him, the realization that he wasn’t an apparition was finally dawning upon her. When Thane’s fingers threaded through her hair and brought her lips down to his, it solidified. She wasn’t crazy. Thane was alive, and he was lying beneath her.

    As she felt the smooth scales of his lips press fiercely against hers, Anya cried out. Her heart almost exploded in her chest, unable to handle all the emotions attacking her at once. Deepening the kiss, she felt the coming tears pricking the back of her eyes. The onslaught was proving to be too much.

    The tears would not be held back. They fell from her lashes streaming down her cheeks, landing to Thane’s face as she continued to kiss him. He pulled away when he felt the heat of her tears on his scales. His dark gaze inspecting her features with a mixture of awe and concern.

    “You were dead,” her voice croaked as she grasped at him, wishing she could feel the nearly forgotten sensation of his scales through her gloves, the scalding temperature of his body against hers through her armor.

    Her fingers explored the velvety soft folds of his ribbing, the arch of his cheeks, the shape of his brow. There was an ocean of tears hidden beneath her surface ready to escape from the now open flood gates. “I was there. I saw you die.”

    Sitting up, Thane pulled her into his arms. Wrapping her up tightly in his warmth as he murmured, “I know, Siha.” He stroked her silky crimson hair, re-familiarizing himself with its texture.

    Anya shook her head. There was an ongoing battle inside of her, torrents of emotions that she had no control over. “How is this possible? How are you alive?”

    “I don’t know,” he inhaled her scent, smiling at the familiarity of her post-battle ambiance. “I woke up and I was here.”

    Unable to pull the emotion back, anger began to thrash in her chest. Thane was alive and secured between her legs. What was there to be angry about? “I saw you die,” Anya reiterated, a feeling of betrayal was starting to bud in her insides. “All this time you were alive and I thought you were dead.”

    Zaeed and Lysithea shared an uncomfortable glance before the old mercenary suggested, “Maybe we should give them a minute.” With a nod Lysithea agreed and they left the room.

    Not sparing the exiting pair a second thought, Anya drank up the sight of her drell. A mixture of elation and treachery waged war inside her. The emotions crackled and combusted like potassium in water. “Do you have any idea the hell I’ve been through without you?” How was it that part of her wanted to bury herself so deeply in his embrace, when another part was almost revolted by his touch?

*

    Thane gazed up at his warrior angel, recognizing the turmoil in her expression as it reflected the confusion inside of him. Wiping away the fresh flood of tears that fell onto her cheeks, he answered, “Yes.”

    He sat up straight, looking deeply into those emerald eyes that glittered like gems. “I also thought you were dead.” Her cheek fell into arch of his palm, responding by reflex to his touch. Hidden in the honey color of her lightly tanned skin was an array of freckles. Thane absorbed the sight of her, the feel of her body against his once again, the smell of her essence in his lungs.

    “When the ANN announced your death, it nearly ruined me.”

    Her eyes narrowed with his words. A severe look shadowed her features. Tightening her fists around the front of his leathers she growled, “Your death did ruin me.” It was an accusation. At last the anger he had felt boiling just under her surface unearthed to face him.

    Anya shoved off of Thane, reclaimed her feet and took a step back. Her eyes were locked with his as she watched him get back up. The look in her eyes burned him with its hostility. “I wanted to die. I came here to die. All I’ve wanted since destroying the Reapers was to join you across the sea. But you were alive the whole time. Everything I felt, those months of suffering . . . and you were alive!”

    “I’m sorry you suffered, Siha,” the knowledge of that was what pained him the most. The last thing Thane ever wanted was to cause her any amount of pain. “But I was dead. I remember dying at Huerta. Then one day I woke up and I was here, in a destroyed medical facility, alive and abandoned.”

    Thane closed the distance Anya had placed between them. They had been without one another for too long. He didn’t get her back now only for a rift to grow between them. Grabbing her hands in his, Thane pulled her back into his arms and pressed his lips to her brow. “The last thing I would ever want is to make you suffer.”

    “Why didn’t you send a message,” her voice wavered, still unable to get a handle on the storm within her. “Why didn’t you try to contact me?”

    “I did,” he explained, “Zorya’s communications were down. There was no way that I was going to get a message off planet. And when communication was finally reestablished, you were dead. Or at least I thought you were.”

    Anya said nothing for a moment. She simply held him as she waded through the riptide within. When she did finally speak, the anger was back in her voice. Her emerald glare pointed up to meet his gaze.

    “Fine, that explains why you didn’t contact me; but what about Kolyat?” The daggers in her eyes were sharp enough to draw blood. “He thinks you’re dead. Where you just going to let him go on believing that?”

    “Of course not,” Thane blinked at the venom in her voice. He knew Anya. He understood that she needed to allow each emotion play to its end before she listened to reason. That knowledge didn’t stop her doubt from hurting him. Did she really think that he’d abandon his son again? “I had to make sure that your brother and his family was safe before I left them.”

    Surprised, Anya’s lashes fluttered as she repeated his words. “My brother? Kael’s here?”

    “Yes,” Thane nodded. “I’ve been staying with him. His family’s safety was my responsibility. It was my duty to protect them,” he pressed her knuckles to his lips, “My duty to you.”

    “I –“ she blinked back her confusion. “You’ve been protecting my family?”

    He bowed his head, “At first.” When his gaze met hers again a smile lifted his lips. “But now I’m protecting mine.”

    “Thane,” her emerald eyes glittered with fresh tears. She stared up at Thane, unable to speak past the emotion constricting her throat. “When you died,” Anya gasped, “but now that you’re alive all that was for nothing.” wrapping her arms around his neck and squeezing him tightly. “I’m so sorry. I’ve just missed you so much.”

    “It wasn’t for nothing, Siha.” He pulled her even tighter against him. “Everything we have suffered was to bring us to this moment. You are mine again.” Thane breathed in her scent, stowing it away among his most prized memories. “And this time I will not lose you.”

    Anya’s hands were exploring him, feeling his neck, the serrated scales along his scalp, remembering what it felt to touch him again. Her green eyes were searching his features, her disbelief still strongly rooted. “This is a dream.”

    “If it is a dream,” he brushed his lips across her brow, gently feeling her skin on his scales. “Then I wish to never wake.”

    “Thane,” her voice was breathless, nearly inaudible in its reluctance. When he peered down he caught sight of the desperation in her eyes, the fear and the remorse. The tears were back, fleeing from the corners of her eyes and plummeting down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me; please don’t leave me.”

    He blinked in confusion. Cupping her face with his hands, he couldn’t disguise the disquiet in his voice when he asked, “What could you possibly be sorry for? I could never hate you, Siha. I will never leave you.”

    “I let Kai Leng kill you.” She gasped, so near hysterics. “I should have done something to stop him. I should have done more to protect you. It was my fault, everything was my fault.”

    Thane silenced her with a fierce kiss. He pressed her more tightly against him, reminding her that he was in fact alive, that he was there and that she was safe in his arms. When he released her lips from his, her eyes were still shut as she remained lost to the affection.

    “Look at me, Anya.” Her eyes fluttered open with his command. “No one is to blame for my death but Kai Leng and Kepral's Syndrome; and I survived both. I’m alive,” Staring into her jewel green irises, Thane repeated. “I’m alive.”

    Her features softened and her tears subsided. He’d found a chip in her denial and would work it until she saw reason. Anya was finally starting to come to terms with what he was saying.

    Brushing her fingers over his face, tracing the design of his scales, and feeling the shape of his lips, she replied, “We’re alive.”

    A grin crawled across his lips as he regarded the woman he loved. “Yes, Siha,” he placed a kiss on the tip of her nose, “Alive and together at last.”

*

    That grin could easily melt all of Noveria. She’d almost forgotten the allure of those canines. An ember began to smolder deep in her gut at the sight of his sharp teeth. Anya inhaled, his spice filling her lungs. Colors were sharp now, nearly offensive with their vibrancy.

    Biting back a giggle, Anya brushed her thumb across his bottom lip. “You’re a beautiful man, Thane Krios.” Those open mouth kisses had her floating on an agreeable high.

    Thane’s smile deepened. Combing the loose strands of crimson from her face, he replied, “And you are a sight without comparison.” He kissed her again, a brief peck that would prevent her from becoming further intoxicated by him. “I have missed you terribly, Siha.”

    Anya shut her eyes, listening to the low rumble of his voice. That smooth sound was both a sedative and an aphrodisiac. The ember grew in her belly, heating her blood to a slow boil. She was his Siha again. After months of being demoted to Anya, she’d reclaimed her rightful place as Thane’s warrior angel.

    “I missed you, too,” the smile that slunk onto her lips was there to stay.

    She doubted that she’d ever be able to come down from this high; not the one from Thane’s saliva – though she could very easily readapt to the sensation – Anya was intoxicated by the joy she was feeling. She hadn’t felt anything resembling this kind of happiness in what felt like a lifetime. Anya had awoken to a galaxy without Thane and that she had him back in her arms she finally felt alive. Thane was alive and he was hers once again.

    The sound of Zaeed’s taunting laughter reminded her of the others waiting for them outside. “We should probably get Zaeed and Lysithea,” she stated without any kind of conviction.

    Thane nodded, his gaze never leaving her face. “Probably,” he replied with a smooth grin.

    Anya took a reluctant step back in attempt to clear her head. Keeping her fingers twined with his, she tugged him towards the exit. “As soon as I get you alone, Krios, we are going to make up for lost time.”

    “You have read my mind, Siha,” his gravelly voice caressed her surface, stoking the flame burning within.

    When they exited the room it was to find Zaeed and Lysithea casually conversing as they waited. Their conversation ceased as their attention lifted to the exiting couple. An assuming grin twisted the corner of the old mercenary’s mouth. He held out his hand as Thane approached them.

    “Putting the quick in quickie, eh Krios?” he slapped Thane on the back and barked out a laugh. “You slithery bastard.”

    Thane returned Zaeed’s greeting with a smile, good-naturedly brushing off his implications. “It is good to see you again, Masani. I see time has not been kind to you.”

    Grinning at the both of them, Anya touched Thane’s arm and directed his attention to the waiting turian. “Thane, this is Lysithea Thracius. She’s a Council Spectre. Lys, this is Thane Krios; the love of my life.”

    “A pleasure to meet you, Spectre Thracius,” Thane bowed at the other woman. Straightening his back, he added, “Thank you for returning my Siha.”

    Lysithea’s mandible’s flared as she chuckled. “That wasn’t exactly the objective of this assignment.” Her near violet gaze glanced briefly at Anya. “But I am glad that the both of you found each other.” All of her attention then moved to Anya as she said, “I haven’t known you very long, Shepard, but I’ve never seen you smile; not like this.”

    Her smile deepened involuntarily, affirming Lysithea’s words with physical evidence. Anya looked up at Thane, meeting his gaze as she pressed herself to his side. “I’m happy,” she needlessly explained.

    Pressing his lips to her brow, Thane replied, “As am I, Siha.”

    “As much as I hate to have to distract us from this beautiful moment,” Lysithea held her talons behind her back, taking on a professional appearance. “We need to make sure that the base has been cleared out and the Blue Suns are under control so that we can report back to the Council.”

    “Right,” Anya replied. Their mission wasn’t over yet. “Let’s clean up shop.”

    Anya was filled with an energy that hadn’t been there before. Suddenly the world was a beautiful place where it had once been as cold and dark as she felt. She thumbed over Thane’s knuckles, refusing to release him from her hold. Now that she had him back she was never going to let go of him again. Thane Krios was hers, and she was willing to fight tooth and nail to keep it that way.


	24. Chapter 24

The base was clear. Without a leader to give them direction, the Blue Sun mercenaries that remained were little more than well trained, well-armed, toy soldiers. All of which Lysithea had return to the base for a head count. As agreed upon with Aria T’Loak, the remaining Blue Suns would be returned to her possession to do with as she pleased.

When the Council, Admiral Hackett, and the pirate queen had all been contacted and debriefed Lysithea instructed for Anya to go.

“No one is even going to know that this was your mission. You’re dead, remember?” her turian partner reminded her. “I’ll stay here to deal with the blowback and to take care of business. Your family – who thinks you’re dead, in case you’ve forgotten – is here. Go be happy and whatnot. I can handle everything else.”

Anya pulled the turian into an embrace, hugging her tightly as she said, “Thank you so much,

Lysithea.” When she released the other woman from the hug they both smiled. “You’re a good friend.”

“This isn’t goodbye,” Lysithea scolded her with a chuckle. “You’ve gotten under my plates, Shepard. You’re stuck with me now.”

With a laugh Anya rebuked, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Lysithea’s gaze went to Thane, who stood loyally at Anya’s side. She offered him her hand. When he shook it, she requested, “Take care of her, Sere Krios. Shepard is a rare woman.”

“That she is,” Thane easily agreed. Wrapping an arm around Anya’s shoulders, he pressed her to his side. “I will spend every day of the rest of my life taking care of her.”

“I can’t decide whether to shed a tear or throw up my lunch,” commented Zaeed. When their attention fell on him a shit eating grin overcame his features.  “I’m going to stay here and help the Specter take care of business.” The old mercenary lumbered over to Anya and pulled her into a breath stealing hug. Squeezing the life out of her, he said, “It’s good to see you like this, Shepard.”

As they separated Zaeed added, “Thanks for inviting me to this little shootout. I can always count on you to show me a good time.”

Anya shook her head. “Stay out of trouble, Masani.”

Zaeed and Thane shook hands. “Good to see you’re not dead, you tricky bastard. Let’s try to keep it that, alright?”

“We shall,” Thane chuckled at the old mercenary before giving both him and the Spectre a departing smile. “Take care; both of you.”

She and Thane left the Blue Sun base hand in hand. He led her towards the parked sky-cars just outside of the structure and opened the door for her like a true gentleman. She didn’t bother entering the vehicle. Shoving Thane against the side of the vehicle, she slithered her body against his and pressed her lips to his mouth.

When she promised to ravage him the moment they were alone, she hadn’t been teasing. Running her tongue along the scales of his bottom lip, Anya coaxed his mouth open. Thane welcomed her with a groan, his hands tightening around her waist as he adjusted himself beneath her.

Their tongues danced as she pulled off her gloves and tossed them into the open car door. Fingers now liberated, Anya traced the ribbing of Thane’s neck. Gently gliding over the soft red folds, she brushed down his neck until she reached his collar bone. She slipped her hand under the tight fit of his shirt, feeling the strong muscles of his chest and relishing in his molten heat.

The toxins in Thane’s saliva were fast acting. Already, Anya was being propelled into a delightful high. Clouds began to muddle her mind, slowing the world to a crawl while also sharpening every sense to a pleasure point. The natural blister to Thane’s body temperature set her on fire, stoking the flame in her belly until it had a mind of its own.

Anya gasped as Thane worked his way down to her neck, kissing and licking her until he found her pulse. Without warning he bit down with those alluringly sharp canines. He wrapped her braid around his hand and pulled, revealing all of her neck to him. Tracing his tongue from her collarbone to her earlobe, Thane took her ear between his teeth.

A guttural moan escaped her as Anya ground against him, not feeling anything through her armor. She was overdressed and it was infuriating. “Thane,” she gasped as her fingers trailed down his torso, eager to be reacquainted with an old friend of hers.

Thane slid his hands down her back until he had a firm grip on her ass. Hoisting Anya up, he skillfully distracted her as he carefully placed her in her seat. He unclasped her hands from around his neck and took a step back. The smirk he gave her was infuriating as he shut the door and walked around the car towards the drivers side.

His breathy voice rumbled, “Patience, Siha.” as he settled into his seat. A roguish grin inched across his lips at the sight of her aggravated pout. “At least until you’re a little less armored.”

“I can take off my armor right now, Krios.” Her scowl deepened when his grin grew. “We’re not going back to you holding out on me, are we?” she asked, reminding him of when their relationship was still at its infancy and he abstained from the intimacy she’d initiate. “Because I’m  not above taking you against your will.”

He chuckled and it was a low smoky sound. “Believe me, Siha, I’m willing.”

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Anya challenged, “Prove it.”

His laugh poured fuel onto the wildfire rampaging in her blood. Bringing the sky-car to life, he repeated, “Patience, Siha,” and they lifted into the open air before shooting off.

“I sent a message to your brother instructing him to return to the apartment,” Thane explained as Anya peered out the window. “We’ll meet them there.”

She was silent for a moment, boring a glare into the side of his head before releasing her impatience with a sigh. Lost to her thoughts as she watched the night shadowed greenery flow beneath them. Returning her gaze to the drell beside her, Anya watched him quietly before asking, “How long have you been alive?”

Thane gave her a sidelong glance, regarding her warmly as he answered. “I’ve been conscious for a little over a year now.”

“It’s been almost two since the Cerberus coup,” she observed. Almost two years since she’d watched him die at Huerta Memorial. Two long years that Anya had had to face without him and they’d been the worst years of her life. “And you don’t remember anything before that?”

He shook his head. “I remember looking at you and my son and begging the gods for more time.  I remember dying on the Citadel.” When he saw the tears resurfacing in her glittering eyes, he reached out and grabbed her hand in his. “Between the moment I should have died, and when I finally regained consciousness in that science facility, I don’t remember a thing.”

It was the second time that he mentioned the facility he’d awoken in. “What can you tell me about this science facility?”

“Not enough,” admitted Thane with a sigh. “When I woke, Cerberus had already attacked and done their damage. Whatever was being studied, any information as to why I’m alive, it was all destroyed.”

Pursing her lips, Anya made a mental note to explore this facility before they left the planet. She needed to know how Thane was alive. It wasn’t that she wasn’t grateful, because she was. Anya just didn’t like not knowing who had held Thane’s body, and what had brought him back. There were too many questions, and she needed answers.

The sky-car stopped in front of the nicest apartment building she’d seen on the planet thus far. Coughing out a laugh, Anya said, “Leave it to my engineer brother to get the nicest digs on the planet.” She shook her head as she and Thane exited the vehicle. “He’s such a twerp.”

As they stood in front of the building, staring up at the neatly stacked homes, Thane grabbed her hand in his and pressed her knuckles against his lips. Smiling down at Anya, he replied, “You haven’t seen the inside.”

“I’m sure I’ll be very impressed.” 

Anya shook her head and allowed Thane to lead her up the stairs to the third level. She scoffed upon the discovery that the entire floor was Michaels. Apparently being as smart as her brother was made him a must have, even on a planet like Zorya.

Thane punched in the code to unlock the door and pulled her inside when it opened with a swish. The moment they entered she noticed the vibrant colors, the quaintly styled furniture, and the homey feel the apartment radiated. It was obviously Cassandra’s handy work. Before she had become Michael’s lovely trophy wife, she had been one of the most highly demanded interior decorators on Elysium.

A multitude of voices sounded at once, reaching out to them before a single person appeared to accompany the voices.

“What happened?”

“Why are we still here?”

“Are you okay?”

A throng of people appeared from the den like room around the corner. There was a female batarian, a turain, Michael, and his family. They all stepped out to greet Thane with their questions but stopped short when they noticed the company Thane had brought with him.

“Anya?” Her name wasn’t even entirely out of Michael’s mouth before she tackled him with a hug.

She squeezed her brother tightly and muttered, “Kael, do you have any idea how worried our mother has been?”

He peeled her off of him and held her at arm’s length. There was a disbelieving look on his face, as though he were staring down a ghost. Mika stepped out from behind her brother, his toothy grin stretched from ear to ear.

“I told you she was alive,” he proudly proclaimed before turning to address Anya. “I knew you weren’t dead, Auntie Anya. I tried to tell them but they wouldn’t listen.”

Her gaze fell to the boy beside her brother. She grinned, taking in the sight of him as she noticed how immensely he had grown since the last time she had seen him. 

Regarding her nephew with feigned awe, she exclaimed, “Mika, is that you? What are you now, twenty-three?”

The boy laughed at her outrageous expression. “I’m seven and three quarters,” he reminded her.

“No,” she scoffed as though she’d never believe it. Placing her hands on her knees, Anya lowered herself down to his level. “You’re seven and  three quarters?  Pft. You’re practically a man! Have you been working out? Let me see those muscles.”

Mika laughed as he flexed his arms for her. Joining in his laughter, Anya commented, “You’re almost as strong as a close friend of mine, James Vega.” She tousled his tawny hair and continued, “Have you been taking good care of the ships I sent you?”

“Yes,” he nodded happily. The grin on his face had done nothing but grow since she entered the apartment. “Do you want to see them?”

“Does Blasto have another movie coming out?” When Mika’s expression shifted with his confusion, she explained, “It means yes. Yes, my favorite nephew on Zorya, I’d love to see your ships!”

“Wait,” Michael stopped his son from dragging Anya off to his room. When their gazes met his features darkened with the anger and pain of being misled. “You’re alive.”

The smile fell from Anya’s face. It had been ridiculous for her to think that Michael would just accept her reappearance like he had last time. Her heart fell at the sight of the pain in his pine green eyes. Biting her lip, she shrugged, “I guess I am.”

Michael nodded slowly. His nostrils flaring as his anger doubled. “ You guess you are . . . Can you also guess how much your supposed death hurt us? Do you have any idea what it was like to think that you were dead, especially after the message you sent?” He took an angry step toward her, his top lip curling into a snarl. “I thought you were dead;  again ! How many times are you going to put me and my family through this? We love you, Anya! I’m your goddamn brother. Did you think for even a second how your death would affect  me ?”

Her mouth opened and closed as she searched for the words to justify her actions. His anger shouldn’t have surprised her. When she still hadn’t found the words to ease his fury, Anya shrugged again. “I figured you’d be used to it by now.”

Anya’s attempted humor missed its mark and Michael stared at her in open mouth disbelief. His eyes widened as he tried to make sense of her logic. 

“Yes, because you have a knack for letting me believe you’re dead when you actually aren’t. I just  love that about our relationship, Anya. We should do this every few years.” His hand gestures became more violent as his anger grew. “You can go through severe depression and die, so that I can mourn you. And then, after a few years, you can walk through my door, alive, like nothing happened; and we’ll all just laugh and laugh.”

From behind her husband, Cassandra carefully wrapped her fingers around his bicep. “Michael,” she pulled him away from his sister.

“No, Cassandra,” said Anya to her sister-in-law. Meeting Michael’s infuriated glare she muttered, “He’s right,” before rubbing her furrowed brow. With a sigh, she tried to explain. “I’m sorry, Kael. I’m sorry for what I put all of you through. You’re right.”

Stepping away from her brother, Anya turned towards Thane. There was a worried look in his dark eyes. With that look he was offering her his support, as he had always done in the past. Even after what she had put him through, he was still her rock. She felt as low as a snake’s belly for what she’d put her family through. They deserved an explanation, even if it now embarrassed her to admit it.

She moistened her lips and cleared her throat before explaining. “By the end of the war I just wanted it all to be over with. I wanted to die a hero’s death and find peace. When I woke up in Huerta I chickened out. I couldn’t handle it, any of it. I didn’t want to be the most famous woman in the galaxy. If I couldn’t actually be dead then I wanted to at least have the peace of everyone thinking that I was.” Anya shook her head, unable to meet any of their gazes. “It was thoughtless and cowardly, and I’m sorry.”

After a second a small hand wrapped around hers, forcing her eyes down to the little boy beside her. “It’s okay, auntie Anya.” Mika announced, trying to alleviate the pain in her eyes with a small smile. “I knew you were alive all along.”

Ruffling his hair, Anya tried to return his smile. “Thank you for believing in me, Mika.”

The anger had receded from Michael’s features with her explanation. His pine colored eyes were now conflicted as he stared at her. In true Shepard form, he needed to vent his anger before he could move on from it. 

With a sigh, he admitted, “I’ll get over it, but you’ve got to stop doing this to me, Banana. I can’t take you dying again. I won’t be able to handle it a third time.”

Peering back at Thane she was surprised to find him standing behind her. A grin began to inch across her lips. She stepped to his side and pressed herself against him. Staring up at the handsome drell, Anya admitted, “I’m not going anywhere. Actually, I think it’s time for this dead woman to retire.”

“Thank God for that,” commented Cassandra, who ginned when Anya’s attention landed on her. “No offense, Anya, but if you keep hurting my family like this I’m going to have to do something about it.”

Looking between Anya and his wife, he raised an eyebrow and warned, “I’d listen to her if I was you, Banana. Sandra’s not a woman you want to cross.”

“That I believe,” Anya agreed. To Cassandra she assured, “The next time that I don’t really die, you have my permission to actually kill me.”

“I won’t ask for your permission,” Cassandra rebutted, her voice and expression were serious until a nervous laugh escaped from Anya.

“Okay then,” Anya rubbed her hands together uncomfortably. Moving her attention to the batarian woman and the turian beside her, she found a reason to quickly change the subject. “Does anyone have manners in this house? I believe some introductions are in order.”

*

Thane introduced Anya to Niall and Neelah, explaining to her how they’d met and why they were now all together. The rest of the evening was spent catching up. It had been a long time since Anya last saw her brother and his family. Even though Thane understood their desire to get back in touch, he had his own desires to fulfill with Anya. He’d told her to be patient before, but his patience was nearing its end.

Cassandra and Michael offered the young couple to stay the night so they could all leave for the Citadel together. In the morning they could all leave for the Citadel together. By the end of the evening the children were slumbering soundly and the adults could barely keep their eyes open.

Being the wonderful hostess that she was, Cassandra prepared a bed for Neelah and Niall in the living room. She also lent Anya some clothes to change into and a towel for her shower. After many ‘good nights’ and wishes of sweet dreams, Thane found himself waiting in his bedroom for Anya to finish her shower.

Finding his Siha was an unimaginable gift from the gods. As he sat on the edge of the bed, Thane silently scolded himself for ever doubting them. He had spent countless nights begging the gods for more time with Anya and his son, and they had given him more than he could ever dream of. He now had time, he had his Siha and his son, but now, Thane also had Anya’s family as well. He and Michael weren’t brothers by blood, but some bonds went beyond even that.

His heart was drumming in his ears. The only outward sign that Thane was nervous was the finger tapping against his knee. The last time that he and Anya were together Thane had been a patient at Huerta Memorial. He’d been so near his deathbed. Now he had a chance to realize each wish he’d made in the past. He could give Anya everything she’d ever wanted, starting with himself.

The quiet swish of the opening door removed Thane from his thoughts. He stood as Anya entered the room dressed in comfortably fitting shorts and a tee shirt. She smiled weakly at him as she continued to towel off her wet hair. He could see the nerves in her eyes, as well as a hesitation that hadn’t been there before.

Anya neatly folded the wet towel and placed it on the dresser before slumping forward and leaning her weight against the piece of furniture. When she kept her back to him his heart beat quickened at the realization that something was wrong. Peering at her expression through the mirror, Thane could tell that there was something bothering her; something terrible. Pushing himself off of the bed, Thane crossed the room to stand behind the woman he loved.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, he gently turned her to face him. He saw her watery eyes for only a second before she pointed her face down, avoiding his gaze. Thane tenderly tilted her face up to his and watched as  Anya worried on her lip. He could tell by the uncertain expression twisting her features that there was a tempest of emotion inside of her.

He brushed back her wet hair and whispered, “Siha.” At the sound of her name, her eyes shut with what he could only describe as shame. “What is troubling you?”

Anya shook her head as she shrugged out of his grasp. She began to pace the length of the room. All he could do was watch as she tried to put the words together, marching to and fro as though if she kept moving she could keep her emotions at bay. He waited, watching her for a chance to intervene and quell whatever was troubling her.

“There’s something I need to tell you. Something that you deserve to hear from me and not from anyone else,” she said at last, still unable to meet and hold his gaze.

Thane suddenly didn’t know if he wanted to hear it; not if it hurt her this much to get the words out. “Siha,” he started only to be cut off by her.

“You were dead.” Anya was still pacing, wearing a track into the carpet as she walked. “I’m not trying to justify it; there is no justifying it, but I need you to try and understand. Something happened that I wish to the gods hadn’t. If I could take it back I would in a heartbeat, but I can’t.”

His chest tightened as apprehension began to solidify in his blood. Unable to speak above a whisper, Thane asked, “What happened?”

Tightly clasping her eyes shut, Anya finally came to a stop. A tear fell from her eyelashes and fled down her cheek. Mustering the courage to face him, she turned to meet his gaze and admitted, “I slept with Kaidan.”

His knees buckled with the shock of her admission, the oxygen wheezing from his lungs as though he’d received a blow to the chest. Thane couldn’t react, he didn’t know how.

Anya tried and failed to keep the emotion for breaking her voice, but she couldn’t hide her shame from him. “I know there isn’t an excuse, and I’m not trying to give you one. Just, let me explain.” When Thane’s only reply was to look up and meet her guilt soaked gaze, she continued.

“I was saying goodbye to Tali and Garrus on the Citadel and Kaidan was there. He invited me out for some drinks and I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but I went anyway. I wasn’t planning on drinking, but he kept buying them and I kept drinking them. And then . . .“ she choked out a humorless laugh, “I don’t even know how it happened. I didn’t want to drink that night, and I didn’t want to sleep with him, but I did both.”

She fell to her knees in front of him, the tears rolling freely from her eyes. Taking his hands into hers, she pressed her brow to his knuckles as she cried, “I’m so sorry, Thane. It was a mistake that I never would have made if I hadn’t been drinking. I never wanted it to happen, but it did and I can’t take it back. All I can do now is pray to the gods that you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.” Moving his knuckles to her lips, Anya begged, “Please forgive me.”

Thane tightened his hands around hers, squeezing her fingers in reassurance. When Anya’s sorrowful gaze lifted to meet his, he slid off of the bed and joined her on the floor. Brushing her hair back from her face, Thane stared into her emerald eyes, seeing the pain and the shame in them.

Rage began to burn in his gut as he replayed  her explanation in his mind. Cupping her cheek, he said, “He took advantage of you, Siha.”

Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, Anya slowly shook her head. “It was still my fault. If I hadn’t been drinking it wouldn’t have happened. It shouldn’t have happened.”

“No, it shouldn’t have,” he agreed. The thought of Anya in another man’s arms caused red to rim his vision. He bit back the betrayal, knowing that it couldn’t really be called one. Anya wasn’t to blame for what had happened, and he needed to make sure she knew that. “Any decent man would have recognized that you weren’t ready. It seems that I misjudged Kaidan when I called him honorable.”

When Anya opened her mouth to argue Thane cut her off. “You were in a vulnerable place, and he lured his way into your bed through drink and deception. You aren’t to blame for what happened, he is.”

She overlapped his hand with hers. Staring pleadingly into his eyes, she asked, “So you forgive me?”

“You’ve committed no crime, there’s nothing to forgive.” Rubbing his thumbs over her wet cheeks, Thane stared down at her as he said, “The crime has been committed against you. And I assure you, if I ever see Kaidan again, I will make him pay.”

Thane could see that it still hurt her. He believed her when she said that she’d never wanted it to happen. What she and Kaidan once shared had died with the SR1. Anya was his and his alone. Other men might try to take her, but they would be met by death and failure instead.

Pressing his mouth against her lips, Thane inhaled her scent as he deepened the kiss. It started as a tender touch; a reassurance that he didn’t begrudge her for what happened, but after a second of feeling her warmth against him he couldn’t hold back any longer.

He wrapped his arms around Anya’s waist and pulled her onto her feet. Lightly pushing her onto the bed, Thane crawled on top of her. A soft moan escaped with her breathy exhale as Thane combed his fingers through her damp hair, gently tugging it aside so he could bury his face in her neck.

Anya’s body heat was steadily rising as she mewed and gasped while he lapped at her neck, sucking and biting her pulse point until she was pressing her body against him. Moving his mouth back to her lips, he claimed her mouth with his tongue. Thane’s hand wandered to her waist where he felt the hem of her shirt before sliding his fingers underneath it to explore her more thoroughly.

His name slipped from her lips when his fingers made contact with her soft feverish skin. Anya’s back arched, inviting him to explore all of her and reclaim what had always been his. Thane pulled his lips from hers as his hand inched up towards her breast, wanting to watch as her body was revealed to him.

When he looked down to see the lightly tanned flesh already exposed to him, his breath caught in his throat. There was a scar running across her lower abdomen, obviously surgical. Tenderly tracing the scar with his fingertips, Thane looked up to meet her saddened gaze.

“I was pretty messed up when they found me on the Citadel,” she explained. Perching herself up onto her elbows, Anya gazed down at the scar Thane was also looking at. A distant look settled in her green eyes as she recounted the memory. “I don’t know how much you know about what happened in London. There was this big beam that the Reapers were using to send people to their deaths on Citadel. It was our way in, but in order to get there I had to race across no man’s land. I ran face first into a Reaper, and it should have killed me right there.”

Blinking, she steered the explanation back to where she’d intended for it to go. “Anyway, When Garrus found me in the aftermath, I was barely alive. I had lost a lot of blood. I got shot with explosive rounds, and it tore my uterus apart. It was too late for the doctors to repair the damage, so they had to remove it.” Her shoulders shrugged as though it wasn’t a big deal.

Thane bit back his response. She would have recoiled at anything that sounded like pity; though it was a tragedy. He knew how terribly Anya had wanted a family. She wanted to have children of her own and experience all that parenthood had to offer; and it was no less than what she deserved. He couldn’t begin to imagine what the loss of that future had done to her.

Without saying a word, Thane dipped his head down. Kissing the junction of her ribcage, he left a trail of kisses until he reached her scar. On the discolored line of skin, he tickled her with his touch. One didn’t need to be able to have children in order to be a mother. He would give Anya everything she ever wanted, even a family.

Anya arched beneath his lips, pressing her skin more firmly against him. She threw her head back and groaned. She was growing impatient and they had barely started. Smirking, Thane hooked his fingers around her shorts and tugged them down. Peeling Anya free from her bottoms, he threw her shorts over his shoulder as he gaped at the beauty before him. His pants became uncomfortably tight as his body immediately reacted to her.

Her moistened lips were as soft and lovely as flower petals.  Anya moved her pelvis nearer to him as he rubbed his hands over the insides of her thighs. Exhaling his name, she invited him to do as he willed. Thane kissed and licked her inner thighs, burning her with the wet heat of his tongue before soothing the burn with gentle kisses. Anya’s hips bucked as he teased her; her hands had a firm grip on the bed sheets and her eyes were clasped tightly shut.

When Thane did finally touch her soaking petals, a loud moan broke through Anya’s tightly sealed lips. Pulling her labia apart, a smile twisted his mouth. Her beautiful womanhood was ready for him, inviting him to bury all that he was inside of her. But first he was going to have a taste.

Anya was as sweet as he remembered, her taste filling his mouth and moistening his face. A choked gasp sounded from his Siha; her entire body jerked when his tongue lapped at her clit. 

Her hands gripped his head, and Thane pressed down on her abdomen as she tried to grind against his face. Lightly nipping at her thigh, he warned her to be patient. It had been so long since he got to enjoy her. He was going to relish this reunion at his own pace, whether she liked it, or not ; though he knew she would in the end.

Using the flat of his tongue, Thane licked her whole. Dipping and twirling his tongue over her sex as he earned every pant and moan she made. He eased his fingers into her sopping core and quickly found the sensitive skin hidden along her inner wall. As he began to stroke her, Anya bucked in response to his touch.

His mouth and his fingers worked in unison to push her nearer to climax. Thane’s free hand roved the surface of her burning skin. Stroking steadily up her torso until he reached the peak of her breast; his index finger and thumb pinched her pearled nipple.

“Oh fuck,” Anya shouted. Her thighs clasped together as her body reacted, imprisoning Thane between her legs. She resisted at the vibration of him chuckling against her sex, another blissful cry escaping from her as he licked the slick reward of his hard work.

Panting heavily, Anya finally released him from between her legs, allowing him to come up for air. Thane was grinning as he got back onto his feet and looked down at his pleased goddess. She was a thing of pure beauty. Her hair fanned out around her in streams of crimson. Her golden tanned skin glistened as beads of sweat made her shine. When she finally opened her eyes there was a glint to their emerald depths.

Thane recognized the smirk that hinted at the corner of her mouth. His Siha was insatiable, and for that he was glad. There was still so much more he planned to do to her. She ripped off the shirt that had balled up under her arms and moved on the bed until she was kneeling in front of him. A teasing smile grew on her lips as she took in the sight of his arousal.

Cupping him in her grasp, a husky chuckle rumbled from her at the sound of Thane groaning her name.

“You know my body so well, Thane Krios,” she purred before nipping his collar bone and brushing her lips over the ribbing on his neck. “But my memory isn’t as good as yours.” Her green eyes met his hooded gaze, and her delighted smirk grew when she saw that he was hers to do with as she pleased. “Let’s find out if I remember correctly.”

Her hands ran down his chest until she had the hem of his shirt bunched up in her hands. Peeling it up, Thane helped her get the fabric over his head and out of the way. The smile on her lips fell, the joy in her eyes shifted with fascination, and Thane looked down to see what had caused the change.

The scar that slashed up his chest and to his collarbone was an ugly thing. If he had recovered in an actual hospital, with a living medical staff, it wouldn’t have healed so poorly. He glanced up to meet Anya’s entranced gaze, watching as her emerald eyes inspected the scar. Her fingers slowly reached out between them, light as feathers on his scales as she traveled the length of the scar.

Her attention was still on exploring the marred flesh as she asked, “You have no idea what they did to you?”

“No,” answered Thane as he held her hand to his chest. A smile lifted his lips as he gazed down at the woman before him. The light freckles smattering her cheeks and nose were more visible now on her flushed skin. She bit down on her plush bottom lip and waited for him to go on. “But I’m grateful for the second chance I’ve been given.”

Holding her by the chin, Thane used his thumb to release her lip from between her teeth. When he kissed her again he claimed her lip with his teeth. The sound of her sultry chuckle caused him to smile. “I believe we were in the middle of something.” he reminded her.

“Oh, that’s right,” she grinned, her hand smoothing downward until she molded her hand to the shape of his buldge. “I owe you an orgasm.”

Hmmm,  Thane purred as he eased her onto her back while also slipping off his constricting pants to then join her on the bed. He watched as Anya’s gaze wandered from his to peek at the throbbing member between his legs. A smile spread across her face.

“Gods, I’ve missed you.” She adjusted her body beneath him, running her hands down his back until she had a firm grip on his backside.

He rumbled in agreement and lowered his mouth back to hers. His tongue caressed her lower lip, cajoling the plump flesh until she opened up for him. Dipping into the warmth of her mouth, he was lovingly welcomed by her eager tongue. 

Thane moved from her lips to her neck then down to her shoulder, biting and licking her there until she was moving more desperately beneath him. While one hand was occupied kneading her breast, he lowered his mouth to the other. Her reaction was immediate when he took her hardened nipple into his mouth.

“Thane,” she breathed, caught between palming his head and scratching his back. “Oh, fuck, Thane.” She was wild. Despite being pinned down by his weight, Anya rolled underneath him like ocean waves, desperate for him to dip into her depths and satisfy her desires.

He continued to suck on and nip at her nipples, moving from one to the other, distributing his attention evenly to both sensitive peaks. Anya arched beneath him rubbing her moist sex against his hard one; he couldn’t hold out much longer. Pushing himself back, Thane kneeled between her legs and stroked the length of his cock as he reveled in the sight of her spread open for him.

All the love he felt for this woman burned him at once. This powerful, kind, strong, beautiful woman understood him. She accepted him and wanted him. She’d pulled him out of his battle-sleep. She’d returned to him his son and had gifted him with her love. Thane owed her his life, and he wanted nothing more than to give it to her.

As he teased her soaking petals with the tip of his member, Thane held her intrigued gaze. She’d noticed the change in him and waited to see what he would do. Before he could bury himself inside of her, he stated, “I love you, Anya, with all that I am and all that I will ever be.”

She nodded, a grin growing across her lips. “I love you too, Thane Krios, with all of my heart.”

“Siha,” he pressed against her entry but still didn’t sheath himself within her. “If you would let me have the honor, I would like to be bound with you. I would love to be your mate.” It was a lot to ask of her, to be his forever, but Thane could think of nothing he wanted more. Anya Shepard was his life blood, and now that he had her back he was going to make her his forever.

Anya stared up at him, her emerald eyes wide with surprise and amazement. Without the slightest uncertainty, or the briefest hesitation, she nodded and her grin returned, doubled in size and intensity.

Grinning as well, Thane carefully inched his length into her core, groaning as she adjusted to accommodate him. Once situated, he pulled out before plunging himself into her all at once. Anya cried out in bliss as his rhythm grew in intensity. Thane pounded into her; savoring her heat around his cock and taking pleasure in the sounds she made, the pure pleasure they were sharing.

Their breaths and moans mingled as the heat in the room intensified. Pearls of perspiration glittered along Anya’s skin, and she panted as he pushed her closer and closer to her second orgasm. His name was a plea on her lips as she begged him to give her more, everything, and Thane was more than happy to oblige.

Moving one of her legs until it was draped over his shoulder Thane shifted her position for a deeper thrust and was rewarded as she cried out loudly. The heat in his blood neared unbearable, but he refused to come before Anya. His thumb found her clit, circling and rubbing until they flew off the edge together, plummeting into an ocean of bliss.

“Siha,” he moaned, all the love he felt for her pouring out and filling his senses. Thane fell on top of her, panting as he tried to catch his breath. They stayed in that position for a while as they both came back down from their shared euphoria.

As Thane settled between her legs he sprinkled her jaw line with kisses, pecking the angles of her features before planting a deep kiss on her swollen lips. They would be in this position for a few minutes, as he was physically bound to her. The perfect fit of his sex to hers tied them together, body and soul. He was hers for as long as they lived. Mated until death did they part, as the humans said.

Burrowing into the crook of her neck, Thane breathed, “I love you.”

“And I love you,” Anya wrapped her arms around him and traced the thick stripes that decorated his scales. He could feel the grin on her lips, could hear the smile in her voice, “so much.”


	25. Chapter 25

“Siha,” a faint whisper pulled her from the pleasant dream. It was the first good dream she’d had in a very long time, and Anya was sad to feel it give way to reality. She shied away from the daylight streaming through the window, noticing the burning hot body resting beneath her.

When Anya began to stir his deep rumbling voice said, “You’re drooling.”

Anya shot up immediately, wiping the spittle from her face before tending to the pool on the drell grinning up at her.

“I was afraid you might drown me,” Thane teased, his grin growing when her face started to burn with embarrassment.

When he was cleaned off, Anya tucked her hair behind an ear and gazed down at the man she loved. A laugh burst through her, a carefree sound she hadn’t made in ages. Thane joined in her laughter, the green hidden in his black eyes was clear to her now, more pronounced in the daylight.

Her mind returned her to the night before and the hours of catching up they’d done. They had almost two years of lost time to make up for, and last night they had made good headway. The smile that possessed her now was soul deep. They were mated now. She was Thane's; his forever, as it should have always been.

Thane reached out to her, lightly thumbing over her cheekbone before gently cupping her face and asking, “I trust you slept well?”

She nodded; her smile growing as she reveled in his radiating warmth. “Better than I’ve slept in a very, very long time,” Anya answered as she turned onto her stomach. She reclaimed the space beside him and perched her temple on her palm as she used her free hand to scope the clefts and dips of his magnificent body.

Anya’s gaze was on her fingers as she traced one of his tiger-like stripes as she asked, “What has it been like here on Zorya?” The stripe led her to the thick scar running vertically up his chest, which also she gently ran her fingers over. What lay hidden under that scar? Was there a new set of lungs giving her mate breath? The amount of unanswered questions made Anya uncomfortable. She needed answers, and when they finally found the will to get themselves out of bed, they were going to find them.

Thane twirled a lock of her crimson hair, quietly observing how it shone in the sunlight. After a moment of thought he answered, “It has been an experience.” His smile grew when Anya scoffed at the lame reply.

He tucked the lock of hair behind her ear before explaining. “I’ve witnessed unrequited generosity, kindness, young love. And I’ve also seen arrogance, carelessness, and the evil in men’s hearts. Zorya has taught me a great many things. Not the least being that there is a reason for everything.” Thane cradled his head in a hand as he made himself comfortable; he knew the questions were coming.

Anya waited for a beat, arching an eyebrow in anticipation of him elaborating. When he wasn’t forthcoming, she rolled her eyes. That was where Kolyat had gotten his sparsely worded explanations. Drumming her fingers on his chest, she wondered, “Are you going to tell me the whole story? Or am I going to have to make something up?”

Smiling warmly, Thane took a breath before starting his story. Anya listened quietly as he recalled waking up in the abandoned medical facility, surrounded by dead salarians who’d been attacked by Cerberus. He told her how he found his way to the inn, where he became employed by a benevolent turian by the name of Dacia Artacus, Niall’s grandmother. Then there was the asari Blue Sun physician, Dr. Leao – Lysithea’s ex-girlfriend – who discovered that Thane was Kepral’s free.

That information was world-stopping. Anya could hardly bring herself to believe it. Their relationship had always been shadowed by Thane’s sickness, but to rid of it completely? To not have to worry whether his next coughing fit would be the one to do him in; it was a foreign comfort she would need time to become accustomed to.

She laughed with him when he told her how he’d witnessed Niall and Neelah’s relationship develop from its awkward infancy and turn into something beautiful; and watched carefully as the humor left his features when he recalled how he had first ran into Cassandra in the market place.

Anya couldn’t help her smile when Thane told her how Michael had reacted to finding out he was alive. She couldn’t bring herself to be upset with her brother for attacking her mate. Michael had been defending her, and her brother’s love was endearing; even if it meant that Thane had gotten a little roughed up.

A terrible feeling fell over Anya when Thane told her how he had learned about her “death.” She had made him suffer. If she hadn’t been such a coward all of their pain could have been avoided. Thane merely smiled and kissed her brow when she tried to apologize to him, reminding her that they were together now and forever.

He recounted how Michael had gotten recruited into fixing the mass relay. A furious darkness shrouded over his green and black eyes as he told her about the man named Sloan. An arrogant opportunist, he said, who had used Michael’s family in order to gain his cooperation. Thane assured her that he would never have let anything happen to Cassandra and the children, and it was an obvious truth. A blind man could see how Thane cared for her family, how he loved them like his own; which warmed Anya’s heart.

Sloan had been a busy man, Thane explained to her. He had burned Neelah’s laundromat to the ground, destroying her home and her livelihood in one fell swoop. And she was only one of many who had lost everything to Fist and his attack dog.

Anya learned why she hadn’t yet met Dacia, a sad realization that she never would. An angry glint sparked in Thane’s eyes as he described Sloan’s attack on the inn, how he had murdered the woman who had sheltered and cared for Thane from the beginning. She couldn’t help but become infuriated herself. From what she’d learned from Thane, Dacia had been a wonderful woman, someone that Anya would have loved to meet.

“Was Sloan at the base?” Anya wondered, her jaw ticking as she considered all the ways she could make Sloan suffer for the crimes he had committed.

Thane nodded as he brushed back her hair. “He was,” he answered. There was a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. She would have missed it if she hadn’t been watching him so closely. “And he has already atoned for his crimes.”

“The body in the common area,” Anya realized. “That was you.”

“It was,” he nodded again.

“It was a better death than what he deserved.”

Quietly thinking over her words, Thane continued with his story. “When Michael fixed the relay Fist wouldn’t let him return home. It was only after Michael had promised to join the Blue Suns that he was allowed to come back to his family.”

Anya raised an eyebrow. “Michael,” she repeated, “A Blue Sun?”

Thane smiled at her quizzical expression. “Infiltrating the Blue Sun base had started out as a rescue mission, but your brother returned and it turned into another job.” He peered up at the ceiling as he said, “Both Fist and Sloan were a cancer to this planet, and I have the training and experience to stop them. My ability to stop them made it my responsibility to stop them.”

She smiled at how the previous evening had turned out and what had led them both to that moment. “One way or another they were going to die,” commented Anya. “Three of the galaxy’s heaviest hitters were banking on me coming here and taking Fist down. There was no way that I  wasn’t coming to Zorya and dealing with the Blue Suns.”

He also smiled and the sight of it warmed her to the core. She would never get tired of seeing that smile, not after the nightmares that had stolen her memory of it. “I didn’t learn that the Council had sent a Specter until I was already infiltrating the base. Even then I couldn’t trust the task of killing Sloan and Fist to anyone. But this Spectre was pushing me to reach the target. Forcing me to move faster. Challenging me. I had to reach him first.”

Anya grinned. “I do that a lot, don't I?”

“What of you, Siha,” his silky voice caressed her with its warmth. “How did destiny return you to my arms?”

Anya’s smile waned and her heart dropped with shame as she compared their stories. Thane had been strong without her. He had defended her family and protected the ones he cared for, while Anya had broken under the weight of a galaxy absent him.

Taking a breath, Anya steeled herself against the emotions that were already resurfacing. Thane was alive and in her arms once more, but the pain of her time without him was too immense for one night of perfection to erase.

*

Thane watched as the emerald of Anya’s eyes hardened. Her jaw was set, those swollen rosy lips thinned and Anya retreated behind a wall that had never been there before. She’d always been able to tell him everything, but something had changed.

“Siha,” her name rumbled from him, cautious as he tried to understand why she was hiding from him now. “You can talk to me, you know that.”

Anya fled from his arms, sliding off the bed as she gathered her borrowed clothes from off of the bedroom floor. “I know,” she muttered as she threw the clothes on. “I just,” she pulled her head through the shirt and straightened her tousled crimson waves. Glancing at Thane she shook her head and mumbled, “I can’t.”

“Why not?” He didn’t understand. When had this barrier grown between them? They were mated now. His heart was hers for as long as it beat. What was she afraid of? “Do you not trust me?”

The look she gave him was bewildered; shocked that he could even suggest such a thing. “Of course I trust you, Thane.” She shook her head and looked away from him. Her gaze was trained on anything but him as she said, “I just can’t, okay?” Her hands balled to fists at her sides. “Please just drop it; at least for now.”

“No.” Thane didn’t want to drop it. He wanted to tear down these walls she had erected against him. Pushing himself off of the bed, he moved to where Anya was standing. His stomach turned when she flinched away from his outstretched hand. Touching her anyway, Thane turned her to face him and forced her look into his eyes.

“No,” he repeated, holding her tightly when she tried to look away from him. “I won’t drop it. We are mated now, Anya. Your pain is my pain. Your fears are mine. Whatever challenges surface we will face them together.” Thane held her by the chin and returned her gaze to his. “Let me in, Anya. Please.”

Shaking her head, Anya removed her chin from his grasp. “I don’t know how,” she spit out. Anger began to storm in the green of her eyes, pinching her brows and darkening her features. When she met his gaze again it was with bitter defiance. “I’ve had to live without you for almost two years. I don’t know how to just let you back in. Give me some time.”

Thane took a step back, pushed away by the bite in her tone. He stared down at his Siha, at his mate, and watched as her features twisted with remorse. She bit her lip, conflicted between taking her words back and not saying anything at all. After a moment passed Anya let out a heavy sigh.

She turned towards the door and said, “I’m going to help Cassandra with breakfast.” Anya paused at the exit to look back at him. Frowning, she said, “I’d like to investigate the science facility you woke up in. Would you be able to take me back there?”

He bowed his head. “Of course, Siha,” Thane replied, and watched as she nodded and left.

Something was terribly wrong with his mate. He wasn’t naïve. Thane could guess that the war would have changed her. What he hadn’t expected was for her to change towards him. Anya claimed to still trust him, but her lack of confidence spoke otherwise.

Gathering his pants from the floor, Thane pulled them on before leaving his room for the kitchen. Anya had asked for time, but he didn’t know if he could give her that. He knew his Siha. Keeping her emotions inside was not how she was going to overcome whatever she was struggling with.

Thane needed to tear down her walls in order to help her through this. He knew that she would fight him every step of the way, but their relationship was worth the struggle. Their future together was worth the fight. He wouldn’t lose Anya now, not ever again.

“Morning, Krios,” Michael yawed as he stepped out of the bathroom. Scratching through his auburn hair, the look on Michael’s face twitched with a suggestive smirk. “Did you sleep well?”

He gave Michael a suspicious look, challenging Anya’s brother to say one word on the matter. “I did, thank you for asking.”

Michael nodded, his smirk growing. “I figured you and Banana were going to have a late morning.” Crossing his arms, the human leaned against the wall. The playful air around him boded uncomfortable conversation. With a shrug he continued, “We all should have a late morning, considering you both kept us up the entire night with all your love making.”

Quirking an eyebrow, Thane inspected the amused sparkle in Michael’s pine green eyes. If Michael wanted to embarrass him then he was going to have to try much harder than that. “Your sister is a very vocal and tenacious lover, Michael. It typically takes several hours just to satiate her.”

“Oh, come on, Krios.” Michael looked like he had eaten something sour as he tried to shake the image out of his head. “That’s disgusting,” he spat while violently rubbing his eyes.

Thane chuckled. “Your sister doesn’t think so.”

Shaking his head, Michael fled the conversation before it could get any worse. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

He followed Michael out the hall and into the dining area, where Mika, Niall, and Neelah were all seated. The turian and batarian looked up to greet the newcomers. To Michael they exchanged good mornings but when their attention fell on Thane smirks twisted their features.

“Good Morning, Thane,” Niall’s mandibles twitched with a grin. “How’d you sleep?”

Before Thane could reply, Michael intervened. “You don’t want to go down that road, Niall,” he said as he strode into the kitchen and stood behind Cassandra. “Trust me.” Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he nuzzled her neck in greeting.

Looking around at his companions, Thane noticed one very important woman missing from the group. “Where’s Anya?” he asked to no one in particular.

“Right behind you,” he turned to find her with Ana in her arms. She looked up from the baby and gave Thane an apologetic smile, their earlier disagreement still on her mind. “This little bean sprout grew over night.” Anya’s gaze returned to the auburn haired girl in her arms. “You don’t even know who your dear ol’ aunt is, do you?”

Thane instantly recognized when Ana’s bottom lip pouted out and her eyes began to water. A second later she was crying out in discontent and reaching for him. Anya’s features turned with sadness as she watched the little girl desperately reach out to escape her grasp. When she passed Ana into Thane’s arms she gave him a brief smile to try and mask the pain the baby’s rejection had caused her.

Hoisting the little girl to his side, Thane looked down at Anya and smiled, “The last time you saw her she’d just been born. She didn’t warm up to me immediately either.”

“I guess you’re right.” Anya rubbed her neck and nodded, though her eyes showed that she wasn’t convinced. Petting back Ana’s dark hair, she gave the girl a somber look before moving to join the others at the table. With a sigh she said, “It’s alright, at least I know my favorite nephew loves me.”

Mika didn’t look up from his drawing as he muttered, “I’m your  only nephew.”

Tousling his hair, Anya agreed, “Your competition never stood a chance.”

Placing Ana on her feet, Thane held her by her tiny hands and helped her walk towards her parents. The little girl’s shrill laughter filled the apartment as she tried to hurry towards her parents in the kitchen. Michael took a knee and spread his arms out for his daughter and she chattered unintelligibly in response.

Swooping his daughter into his arms, Michael tossed her up and grinned happily at the sound of her laughter. As he left the kitchen he addressed the little girl in his arms, “If you laugh any louder you’re going to pop Daddy’s ears, sweety.”

“Alright everyone, I hope you’re hungry.” Cassandra excitedly rubbed her hands together as she placed the breakfast essentials on the table. There was a buffet of pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash browns, breakfast biscuits, and fresh fruit ready to be devoured. Returning to the kitchen, she retrieved a plate of bluish-grey goop and placed it in front of Niall.

She responded to his questioning look with an apologetic smile. “I don’t know very many of dextro friendly recipes. I hope it tastes a lot better than it looks.”

The look Niall gave her was shocked, as if he could hardly believe the considerate gesture. Looking down at the unappetizing plate, he picked up the silverware beside his plate and shoveled a spoonful of the goo into his mouth. Theatrically rubbing his midsection, he said, “Just like grandmother used to make.”

Cassandra placed a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. “I’m sure Dacia would disagree.” Shaking her head, she patted Niall on the shoulder before moving to take the seat beside her husband.

There was one seat left at the breakfast table, the one at the end and furthest away from Anya. Noticing Thane’s hesitation, Michael ruffled Mika’s hair and said, “Why don’t you let Thane have that seat, son?”

Looking up from his drawing, Mika glanced between Thane and Anya, reluctant to forfeit his spot beside his long lost aunt. When he looked back at his father and noticed the stern expression on Michael’s features, he relented with a sigh. “Fine.”

“Thank you, Mika,” Thane patted the top of the boy’s head as he passed and sunk into the seat at the end of the table. Sitting down in the space beside Anya, he looked at the woman at his side and smiled softly. His smile grew when she placed a hand on his knee and kissed his cheek.

Looking at all the bodies around the table, a bright grin spread over Cassandra’s features. “Alright everyone,” she said. “Dig in.”

*

Breakfast was delicious. Anya had spent enough holidays with her brother to know that Cassandra cooked like everyone’s lives depended on it. She was stuffed and still she couldn’t stop eating. As she forced another forkful of chocolate chip pancakes into her mouth, Anya wondered what her sister in law  couldn’t do.

“What did you put in this stuff, Cassandra?” Anya wondered past a mouthful of food, “Red sand?”

“Close,” Cassandra replied from her place at the sink. As she scrubbed the dishes, she supplied, “Cinnamon.”

“The food was great, Cassandra,” Neelah commented as she gathered her and Niall’s plates and returned them to the kitchen. Joining the hostess at the sink she picked up a rag and started drying the dishes as Cassandra cleaned them. “Thank you for sharing your home with us.”

Michael was lounged comfortably in the den, watching as Mika played on his video game console. He looked up from the screen to where his sister was still stuffing her face at the table and asked, “So what’s the plan, big sis? What are we doing today?”

Using the rest of her pancake to clean the syrup off of her plate, Anya shoved the last of the food into her mouth and chewed. Honestly, she was too full to even think about doing anything for the rest of the day. But she needed to get her family off of Zorya and she needed to explore a certain science facility. There was too much for her to do to be lazy for the rest of the day.

She leaned back in her chair and gave her swollen belly a content rub. Anya allowed Thane to pull her against his chest, smiling softly as she looked up at him. Rubbing his leg she returned her attention to her brother and answered his question.

“Thane and I are going to the science base he woke up in. The rest of you should gather your things and prepare to leave by the time we get back.”

“Science base?” Niall stepped into the room from the hallway. Looking at Thane, he raised a brow plate. “You never mentioned a science base.”

Thane nodded apologetically at the young turian. “No I haven’t. You were a Blue Sun and I didn’t know if I could trust you. After I learned that I could it simply never came up. My apologies, Niall.”

Niall waved off the apology, more interested in pursuing another kind of information. “I didn’t know about any science base on Zorya, which means that Neve probably didn’t know about it either.” His mandibles clicked excitedly as he said, “I’d like to come with you.”

Glancing up at Thane, when he shrugged Anya looked back at Niall and nodded. “What’s one more?”

“Make that two,” Michael stood from the sofa and made his way to where the adults were communing. He looked at Anya and Thane, a smile on his mouth as he observed, “Thane told me before that he couldn’t get any information off of the terminals. Maybe I’ll be able to get different results.”

Again Thane shrugged and Anya had to agree. “Alright, Kael, you’re in.” When she noticed Mika looking at her with worry in his eyes, she instructed, “You’re going to stay here and protect Neelah and your mom. Help them get ready and make sure that they’re safe, okay.”

Mika nodded slowly, reluctantly agreeing to do his part even if it meant that he couldn’t join their fun.

Looking at the men around her, Anya assumed her commander tone and said, “Alright, gear up boys. We’ve got work to do.” She pushed herself out of Thane’s arms and up from her seat, wondering if she’d be able to fit her overstuffed stomach into her armor. Giving her mate a quick glance she said, “Grab the butter, dear, you’re going to have to help me into my armor.”

Thane’s chuckle made her smile grow. “It would be my pleasure, Siha.”

“You two save that for later,” Michael pointed a severe finger at the both of them. “We don’t have hours for him to  satiate you.”

Anya gave her brother a curious look before looking to Thane for an explanation. Her drell simply shrugged in reply, but the smile on his handsome lips suggested that she wasn’t invited to be part of this inside joke. Shaking her head, Anya decided that she’d rather not know and left the men to their jokes.

–

The four of them squeezed into the sky-car Thane had borrowed from the Blue Suns, and lifted off towards the uninhabited wilderness of Zorya’s planet consuming forest. It was a mostly quiet ride from the apartment to the science facility. Thane explained to them what had last been there the when he left the facility.

Anya hoped that she’d be able to find more than he suggested they would. She didn’t like not knowing what had happened to Thane. She hated knowing that someone had gone through a lot of trouble to keep him and the whole project a secret. Whatever was hidden in the science facility, she was determined to get to the bottom of it.

Thane parked the sky-car in the shuttle bay, and Anya immediately noticed the parked shuttles. Glancing at Thane, she asked. “I thought you said that the base was attacked. Wouldn’t someone have tried to escape?”

“I would assume so,” he commented, unlocking the doors and getting out of the vehicle. When they were standing in the shuttle bay, Thane explained, “Though, judging by the amount of bodies that were here before, I don’t think anyone made it.”

Anya glanced back out towards the shuttle bay entrance, noting the foliage growing on and into the building. Thane had left the facility a long time ago, she wondered if they’d already lost whatever remained of the building to nature.

Rolling her shoulders, Anya turned towards the door and pulled her rifle from its holster. Flicking on the flashlight, she looked back to make sure that the men were right behind her.  When her eyes landed on Thane she gestured for him to lead the way. “Following you, Krios.”

With a nod, Thane stepped into the building and led them from the musty smelling Zorian air, into the stale smelling facility. Nature was already reclaiming the building. Vines and foliage were sprouting from the floors and walls. The greenery was reaching into the building with its vengeful fingers and Anya could hear the scratching of wildlife through the walls.

She hadn’t been planning on using her gun, but suddenly felt as though she might have to. The last time she’d been on Zorya the only animal that she ran into were a few pyjak, but Zorya was a large and tropical planet. Anya could only guess what other kinds of creatures they might run into.

It didn’t take long for them to stumble upon the first few corpses. They were little more than flesh covered bones now, eaten by insects and other creatures. By the way they were positioned it was easy for Anya to tell that they’d been making a run for the shuttles.

“This is definitely a salarian,” commented Anya as she kneeled beside the corpse and inspected the remains. Using the flashlight on her rifle, she inspected its clothing and the gun in its skeletal grasp. “It doesn’t make any sense though, why Zorya?”

No one answered her because there wasn’t one, not yet at least. She gave the body a final look before nodding for Thane to lead on. He took them through a few dark halls and down some stairs before the light’s acknowledged them. Stripped wiring sparked as electricity flowed through the building again. The few lights that remained intact woke and brightened their path a bit until they reached the center of the medical facility.

Anya could see what Thane meant by a battle. It clearly looked like the salarians had stood their ground against the Cerberus forces. But why had Cerberus attacked in the first place? What would the human elitists want with a few salarian scientists that were experimenting on drell? It didn’t add up.

She turned toward her brother and motioned for him to try one of the terminals. Michael nodded and hurried to the closest one.

As he reached the desk he muttered, “Let’s hope that the humidity didn’t ruin the core. That would be a pain in the ass.” He sighed in relief when the terminal responded to his touch and woke up with a flicker.

“This is a pretty big building,” commented Niall as he looked at the destruction around them. “I’m surprised that no one knew about it.”

Anya quietly agreed. Either someone had paid a lot of money to keep the project under wraps, or someone had paid a lot of money for the Blue Suns to look the other way. One way or another, someone had taken enough precautions to let their guard down. How else would Cerberus have been able to attack?

“Shout if you find anything interesting,” she instructed. “Thane and I are going to do some looking around.” Turning around, she started towards the closed doors they had passed knowing that Thane would be right behind her.

They entered a few of the rooms, finding a whole lot of nothing. By the looks of it there had been more test subjects at one point. But there wasn’t any evidence of them now. All that remained was empty rooms and useless machinery. It was frustrating. Anya had come here looking for answers and instead found more questions.

When they entered the next room Thane strode toward the open window and peered out. Without looking at her, he said, “This is the room that I woke up in.”

Anya looked around, noticing the moth eaten bed that was covered with twigs and leaves. She wondered what it must have been like to wake up here, alone and abandoned. Moving to stand beside Thane at the window, she gazed at the army of trees stretching out before them.

She took his hand in hers and gave his strong fingers a squeeze. “What was it like?”

Thane looked down at their intertwined fingers and smiled faintly. “It was frightening,” he admitted. Glancing up to meet Anya’s gaze, he brushed the loose strands of hair from her face. “I was confused and delirious. I didn’t know where I was or what I was doing here. When I finally did manage to get up my legs couldn’t hold my weight and I could hardly move. If I had been attacked I would have died.”

Anya bit down on her lip and shook her head. “I can’t even imagine,” she stated.

“Can’t you?” He turned to face her, searching her features as he asked, “What was it like when you woke up after the war?”

Sighing, Anya reclaimed her fingers from his and took a retreating step back. She gave him an exasperated look, “I thought we already went over this, Thane. I can’t.”

His brows furrowed, confused. She could see that she was hurting him. His dark eyes were giving her a tortured look, as though she were physically inflicting pain by not spilling her guts to him. Anya knew that she was hurting him by not telling him everything, but she wasn’t ready. She didn’t know how to get the words out.

“Why not?”

“Just because,” she tried to formulate a good enough excuse. But there wasn’t one and she knew it. “I just can’t.”

The discussion was dropped when a shout sounded from where they had left Michael and Niall. She and Thane shared a serious look before nodding to each other and hurrying out the door. They quietly approached the center of the medical facility, careful to not make a sound and alert anyone that they were coming.

Anya silently cursed herself for leaving Michael behind unarmed. She should have known better than that. When they spotted both Niall and Michael they had their hands held in surrender, as to not upset their captor.

She immediately noticed the gun wielding batarian, switching between pointing the weapon on Michael and Niall as he addressed the turian. “Where is he? I know he’s here with you!” When Niall moved to take a step towards him he violently waved the gun back over to the turian. “I lost everything because of him.”

“How did you get here, Borahk?” asked Niall, careful to not startle the uppity batarian.

“I followed you,” the batarian admitted, glaring at Niall for daring to speak. “I saw what he did to the base. Blue Suns died because of him. He has to pay. Where is he?”

Glancing at Thane, Anya saw the fierce look that crept into his eyes. He stepped out of the hall and into the altercation. “Borahk,” he said to the armed batarian. “Put the gun down and step away from them.”

The bartarian swung around to meet the newcomers. His scowl deepened when he noticed it was Thane. “You,” he said as he aimed his gun.

Thunder crashed through the building as Borahk fired his weapon. Anya didn’t even have a second to think. One moment Thane was stepping toward the ornery batarian and the next he was falling to the ground, thrown back by the impact of being shot. She reacted by reflex, pulling her rifle's trigger and shooting the batarian between the eyes.

“Thane,” Anya shouted, her heart beating with panic. Time slowed as she rushed to Thane’s side. This couldn’t be happening. She didn’t find him after all this time to lose him to an idiot batarian. She’d coward behind a wall she built to protect herself, and now there was too much left unsaid between them.

She fell to her knees beside Thane and sighed in relief when he moved to sit up. With a groan, he reached for his injured shoulder and pulled away bloodied fingers.

“That was,” he rubbed his red covered fingers together as he thought, “unexpected.”

“Oh, Thane,” Anya pulled him into her arms and squeezed him tightly, only releasing him when he moaned in protest. “I thought I’d lost you again. Gods, I don’t know what I would’ve done if I lost you again.”

He gave her soft smile and accepted her offered hand to get back onto his feet. Inspecting his injured shoulder he assured the three of them, “It’s nothing serious. I’ll live.”

“We need to get you to a doctor,” Anya replied, no longer caring about what they could find in the medical facility. Nothing mattered more than making sure that Thane was okay.

“Siha,” Thane smiled at her concern, “I’m fine, don’t worry.”

“Don’t worry,” she scoffed. Moving her gaze towards her brother she wondered, “Did you get a chance to find anything?”

Michael shook his head. “The system is wiped clean. There’s nothing left of the data.”

She nodded, that was fine. It meant that they could get Thane to a doctor sooner. “Come on,” she herded Thane back towards where they had parked the sky-car. “We need to get you checked out.”

“I’ll send a message to Dr. Leao,” suggested Niall. “I think she’s still around to take a look at you.”

Thane shook his head, but didn’t protest the care Anya was handling him with. He quietly allowed her to help him into the vehicle, and didn’t argue when she fussed over his injury. Thane was the picture of patience as they left the medical facility and hurried back to the Blue Sun base, where Niall had arranged to meet Dr. Leao.

The moment they landed at the base Anya hurried Thane to the doctor. The violet colored asari greeted Thane warmly, gesturing for him to take a seat at her table so she could take a look at his wound. She didn’t even ask how he got it. She simply cleaned it out before closing it and applying a thick coat of medi-gel.

When her work was done she took a step back from Thane and said, “There, all done. You’ll have some discomfort for about a week, but you’ll be fine.”

“Thank you Doctor,” Thane bowed his head in gratitude. When Dr. Leao nodded her acceptance he looked at the others stuffed into the room until he was looking at Anya. A serious shadow darkened his eyes. Without looking away from her he said, “Would you please give us a moment, I’d like to speak to Anya in private.”

The three others left without question, leaving Anya and Thane alone to talk. Anya shuffled her feet uncomfortably. Talking in private was hardly ever a good thing. Either Thane was going to give her a good reaming or she was going to be the one doing all the talking. Sighing, Anya figured she knew which one it was going to be.

“I’m your mate, Siha,” Thane said to her, the serious look still dark in his eyes. “You allowed yourself to be bound to me, yet you don’t trust me.”

Taken aback she rebuked, “Don’t be ridiculous, Thane. Of course I trust you.”

He shook his head. “No, you don’t.” When Anya opened her mouth to argue he lifted a hand, silencing her. “You used to be able to talk to me, Siha. There was never a wall that you hid behind with me. Now you can’t even tell me  why you can’t talk to me.” The look he gave her made her feel so little. “I’m your mate. If you can’t talk to me then who can you talk to?”

Anya didn’t say anything for a moment. She didn’t know what to say, but knew she had to say  something . Thane deserved the truth, the ugly and embarrassing truth. He deserved her to be brave enough to share it with him. And all Anya ever wanted was to give him everything that he deserved.

She sighed, mustering the courage and finding the words that expressed almost two years of suppressed emotions. Anya walked away from Thane, combing her fingers through her hair as she chewed on her lip. Forcing herself to meet his gaze, she started, “When you died I died with you. Throughout the entire war, the only thing that got kept me going was the thought that, in the end, I was going to die too. After everything was said and done, we’d be together across the sea.”

She shook her head. “And then I woke up in Huerta, alive.” Turning her gaze from him she confessed, “I’m not as strong as you think I am, Thane. I’m a coward.” Her sinuses stung and her vision swam with unshed tears. “I had to face a life without you and I panicked. I wanted to die. If Dr. Michel hadn’t had cuffed me to the bed I would have killed myself. For months my first thought in the morning was killing myself, and the last thought before I went to bed was ending it all.”

“If it wasn’t for Kolyat I wouldn’t have survived. He was the only thing that made the day’s sufferable. He was the only person that made me want to wake up each morning.”

“Kolyat,” Thane interrupted at the mention of his son. “He was with you?”

Anya nodded. “He was with me through everything. He was my last connection to you, and I clung to him for dear life.” Anya coughed out a laugh, wiping a tear from her cheek. “You were fine without me. Yes, my death hurt you, but you managed, you survived. But without you?” her lip trembled, “I broke. I couldn’t take the pressure and I broke.”

Thane slid off of the examination table and walked towards her. When he pulled her into his arms and hugged her to his chest, she croaked, “You fell in love with a stronger woman, not the broken husk that I am now.”

He kissed the top of her head. “You’re no husk, Siha. And you aren’t a coward.” Rubbing her back he murmured into her hair, “The only reason that I didn’t fall back into my battle-sleep was because I had to take care of your family. You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You may not have wanted to live, but you survived. You’re alive and in my arms and that’s because you are exactly the woman I fell in love with.”

Thane tilted her face to look up at him. “You will  always be the woman that I fell in love with, because I love  _you_ , no matter the circumstance.” Pressing his lips against hers, Thane inhaled all of her worries and all of her doubts, replacing them with the warmth of his love and the assurance that he would always love her.

When he pulled away, she smiled weakly at him. “I’m sorry for being so difficult.”

“You are worth any struggle, Siha,” he kissed her again and Anya melted into his arms.


	26. Chapter 26

After returning from Dr. Leao’s office they gathered their belongings and went to the spaceport. It took some arm twisting, but after Anya showed the port official her Spectre status she got her family and Niall and Neelah onto a cruiser leaving for the Citadel. It had already been two hours since the planet receded into the distant black of space and it would take another twelve hours for the cruiser to get from Zorya back to the Citadel. To pass the time, Anya, her family, and the young couple gathered at one of the large tables in the mess hall, laughing as they took advantage of the chance to grow closer.

Michael was waving his arms dramatically as he told a story from their childhood. “We’d already been in the water for hours. I swear, you couldn’t tell us apart from prunes, but Banana insisted on another race.” He shielded his mouth with a hand as he stage whispered to no one in particular, “She’d already lost ten of them.”

Anya gasped at her brother’s exaggeration. “It wasn’t  that many, Kael,” she argued and their group laughed at her half hearted protests. Looking around at  the others at the table she insisted, “He beat me once.” Anya held up a finger for her brother to count, “ Once .”

“Okay,” her brother held up his hands defensively. “I beat her  once , plus another nine times.” Michael laughed and dodged the balled up napkin Anya shot at his head. Wrapping his arm around the back of Mika’s seat, Michael leaned down and said to his son, “You have to understand that your aunt very competitive. It doesn’t matter if it was once, or ten times. I had beaten her and she was  not going to let that go.”

Shaking her head, Anya didn’t even bother arguing with him. Mika and the others were enjoying the story far too much for her to correct him with the truth. She leaned back in her chair and let him tell the story the way he remembered it, knowing exactly where he was taking this exaggerated tale of their youth.

“So we’re swimming, and we’re swimming,” Michael moved his arms and acted out the memory. “And then Banana gets a nasty cramp in her leg. But God forbid that I win,  again. ” He looked up at his sister and winked at the scowl she gave him. “She grabs me by the ankle and drags me down with her. My dear old sister would rather me drown than let me win.”

In response to the boisterous laughter her brother’s story caused among their group, Anya intervened. “I wasn’t trying to drown you,” she protested, “I had a cramp! For Pete’s sake, Kael, I was the one who was going to drown.”

Her brother nodded deeply, a sarcastic sparkle to his pine green eyes. “A likely story.”

Turning to Thane, who was happily seated at her side, she wondered, “Can you believe this?” appalled by her brother’s shameless slandering of her good name.

“Yes,” Thane admitted with a mischievous grin. “You forget that I’ve raced you as well. When I won you accused me of not being chivalrous. What was it you said?” his smirk grew. “ Where I come from we take ‘ladies first’ quite seriously.”

Oh he was going to get it. Anya stared at him, mouth hung open in disbelief. The slithery drell actually had the gall to side against her. “First, there is  nothing wrong with my memory, I’ll have you know. And second, you cheated!”

“I don’t know, Banana,” Michael said along with a few other comments from the peanut gallery. “Thane doesn’t seem the sort.”

“That’s because you don’t know him like I do!” Giving the man beside her a playful glare, she said, “You’ve got them fooled, Krios, but you can’t fool me.”

Her mate shrugged, the roguish grin still firmly rooted on his full lips. “I don’t know what you mean.”

She shook her head incredulously, “You’ve got some nerve, mister. You know you’re just as bad as I am.” When Thane raised an eyebrow, Anya explained, “So all that  I had to get to her first talk about the Dantius towers was because you  aren’t competitive.”

Thane shrugged again, knowing that the gesture would only irritate her more. “I never claimed to not be competitive, Anya. The difference between you and I is that I can lose with grace.”

Her eyes widened at his words. “You did not – “

“Oh, yes he did,” Michael helpfully observed.

“I can’t believe you’d take Michael’s side over mine.”

“Believe it, sister,” Michael snapped his fingers. “We men have to stick together. Isn’t that right, Niall?”

The turian looked from Michael to Thane and then to the women at the table. Uncomfortably flapping his mandibles, he held up his talons and said, “Don’t drag me into this. I actually like sleeping next to my lady.”

Neelah petted Niall’s fringe before resting her head on his shoulder. Approvingly patting his leg, she said, “You are a very intelligent man, my love.”

“More intelligent than two other men we know,” commented Cassandra as she adjusted Ana’s position on her lap. Looking at her husband she shook her head and laughed, “Your sister is going to kick your butt if you keep at it.” She then looked at Thane, to whom she advised, “And you might want to start groveling. That doesn’t look like the face of forgiveness.” pointing his attention at Anya’s frown.

Thane met Anya’s glower and wiped the smirk from his face. Leaning closer to her, he brushed a kiss on her shoulder before whispering into her ear, “I’m not afraid of you.”

Anya arched an eyebrow, boring her deadliest glare into him. “You should be, Krios. You should be very afraid.” When he brushed another apologetic kiss on her shoulder she placed a forgiving kiss on his brow, and quietly added, “You’ll make it up to me later.”

When she looked back up the rest of the group was staring at them and smiling. The only thing missing was a collective  aw .  She couldn’t help but agree. It didn’t matter that they were acting like love drunk teenagers, Thane was her mate and she couldn’t care less if the entire galaxy knew how much she loved him.

Cassandra grinned at the both of them, leaning against her husband as if to participate in the love that was radiating from the recently reunited couple. Honey brown eyes watching Thane warmly, she observed, “I’ve never seen you this happy before, Thane. It’s a good look for you.”

Further down the table, Niall nodded in agreement. “Grandmother would have liked to see you like this.”

Neelah grinned beside him. “Oh what beautiful human-drell hybrid babies you’ll make.”

Anya tensed at the mention of children and the others noticed immediately. Thane’s arm wrapped around her and pulled her against his side. Shutting her eyes, she tried to purge the sadness that was beginning to nest in her gut. Glancing at the man beside her, she offered him a small smile to show that she was okay. She knew he wouldn’t believe her, he would be able to see the devastation in her eyes as clearly as she could see the concern in his.

“What?” asked Neelah, her tone ringing with confusion. She blinked, her four eyes inspecting Anya closely as she searched for the reason behind her sudden change. Looking at Thane for guidance she asked, “Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Anya bit out. It was ridiculous how much the young woman’s playful words hurt. Shaking her head, she tried to get past the heartbreaking emptiness inside of her. She placed a hand on her stomach and gazed down at it, knowing that she wouldn’t ever hold life. She would never make a family. “You couldn’t have known. It’s okay.”

“Couldn’t have known what?” Michael’s auburn eyebrows were furrowed, his green eyes shining lovingly despite the stubborn set of his features. She knew that face; that was his persistent face. He wasn’t going to let this go until she told him everything. “What’s wrong, Annie?”

Looking up at Thane, Anya stared into his loving green eyes and found the strength in them she needed to make it through the conversation. She took his hand into hers and smiled softly when he brought her knuckles to his lips. Heaving out a sigh, she prepared herself to speak.

“I can’t have kids.” Her eyes were on her brother, trusting that he knew her well enough to keep his emotions to himself. “I was shot in the stomach with explosive rounds before shutting off the Catalyst. The explosion caused extensive damage to my abdomen and when a search party had finally found me I had lost a lot of blood. It was too late to reverse the damage, so the doctors had to remove my uterus in order to save my life.”

Anya tried to ignore the shocked gasp that escaped from Cassandra, and kept her gaze as far away from her brother’s wife as possible. Cassandra knew the beauty of motherhood, she reveled in it. If any one of them was going to pity Anya it would be her; and the last thing Anya wanted was to be pitied.

“I’m so sorry,” Neelah pleaded with Anya to forgive her. “If I’d known I never would have made such a joke.”

“I know,” Anya replied softly, offering the young batarian a small placating smile. “It’s okay, you couldn’t have known.”

Neelah shook her head, “I feel terrible.”

“Don’t; it’s okay,” she repeated before standing from her seat. Anya gave the group an apologetic smile; sorry that she had ruined their happy get together. “I think I’m going to call it a night. I’ll see you all in the morning.”

Though their expressions were sorry to see her go, no one protested her retreat. They didn’t want to make her any more uncomfortable than she already was. They may not have understood what she was going through, but they understood that she needed space. Anya was grateful for that when she left them in the mess and fled to her small cabin.

The cramped room had space enough for a bed and a small bathroom. There was a window that stretched across the wall, allowing the galaxy’s glittering blackness to fall into the cabin. It was the perfect view of the galaxy’s beauty, a beauty she’d never be able to share with her children. Tearing her gaze from the window, Anya slunk into the bathroom and summoned the lights as she stood in front of the mirror

Lifting her shirt, Anya inspected the scar that ran horizontally across her lower abdomen. She trailed a finger over the discolored flesh, and felt a surge of tears prickling at her sinuses. Biting her lip, she held a hand over her barren stomach as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

“Siha,” she didn’t jump when Thane was suddenly standing behind her. She heard him coming but didn’t acknowledge him until he appeared behind her in the looking glass.

Briefly meeting his gaze in the mirror, Anya stood silently for a moment before returning her attention to her stomach. She sniffed back her tears and released her lip from between her teeth. Without looking up from where her hand was still held on her abdomen, she confessed, “It was easier to accept when you were dead. I could never imagine having a family without you, so it was fine.” Her gaze returned to his in the mirror, noticing the sadness darkening his eyes. “But now . . .”

Thane stepped into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around her. He held her, laying his hands over hers where they rested against her stomach. Kissing the junction where her neck met her shoulder, Thane whispered, “Now...” prompting her to go on.

She shook her head, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. “Now,” she gritted out. “Now you’re alive, and we’re a family with nothing to show for our love.” Thane turned her around to face him. He cupped her face in his hands, his large dark eyes were watching her closely, letting her see all of the pain he shared with her. 

Lips trembling, she forced the words out. “Mika and Ana are the embodiment of Michael and Cassandra’s love. Kolyat is this handsome, intelligent, and funny young man, and even he is the result of the love you shared with Irikah.”

Finally the tears fell from her lashes and flowed down her cheeks. “But what about us?” She asked, searching Thane’s orbital eyes as if she’d find the answer there. “I’ll never be able to hold our child and say, ‘ you’re here because I love your father so very much ’. I’ll never be able to bring something beautiful and pure, and  ours , into the galaxy.”

Anya buried her face in Thane’s chest and cried, “All I’ve ever done is brought violence and death into this galaxy. And now I’ll never be able to bring something good.”

His strong hands rubbed her back comfortingly as he pressed her against him, accepting her weight and sharing the burden of her sorrow. Stroking her hair, his silky voice caressed her ear. “We do not need a child to be evidence of our love, Siha.” He placed a soft kiss on her crown. “I love you and you love me, what more evidence do we need than that?”

Pushing her slightly away, Thane cupped her face in his hands and used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. He pressed his forehead against hers and murmured, “You don’t need to be able to have children in order to be a mother.” Placing a kiss on both of her wet cheeks, he continued, “All you need is the desire to love and care for one who can’t care for themselves. You’ve already done this time and time again. Siha, you are already a mother, all that is missing is a child to call our own. And after the Reaper war there are many children in need of loving homes.”

She stared deeply into his eyes, allowing his words and his love to soothe the ache in her heart. Thane was right, she was down a uterus, but that didn’t mean that she was out for the count. Anya could still be a mother. She exhaled the morose thoughts with a sigh and instead focused on Thane’s warmth against her.

He was so much stronger than she was; when she saw only darkness, Thane saw the light. Anya depended on him to anchor her. She’d already experienced what life was without him, and knew without a doubt that she couldn’t survive without her mate.

Stroking his brow, Anya gazed deeply into the black of his eyes, marveling at the beautiful green hidden within. She brushed her fingers over his bottom lip and whispered, “I love you so much, Thane.”

“And I love you, Anya,” Thane brought his face down to hers and kissed her, tenderly at first.

Her blood started to burn as his lips pressed against hers. Thane’s tongue snaked out, teasing her lips until she let him in. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Anya pulled herself against him, losing herself in the embrace. The deeper they kissed the quicker she sunk into a pleasant high. His saliva sharpened her senses, making her skin sensitive to his touch and her vision burst with the vibrancy of previously muted colors.

Thane had her enveloped in his arms, his hands exploring her curves. His scales scraped over her skin, leaving a trail of fire that burned all the way down to her core. Anya moaned when his hands wandered down past her waist and cupped her backside. Hoisting her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her the short distance to the bed.

Gently laying her on her back, Thane peeled off his shirt, his hooded gaze trained on her. His movements were slow, seductive, as he started to undo his leather pants.  She bit her lip, feeling her blood warming and her heart beating faster in anticipation of what was to come. Without looking away, Thane climbed on top of her. A moan parted Anya’s lips as he cupped her breast, finding her nipple through her shirt and bra.

He kissed her with a ferocity that matched her ache for him. A groan rumbled through him as Anya dragged her nails down his back, sliding her fingers under his loosened pants and had a firm grip on his ass. Thane grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands from his body before securing her wrists above her head, staring down at the woman trapped beneath him.

Thane began to unbutton her shirt with his free hand, not removing his gaze from hers as her tanned skin peeked through the undone blouse. When the last button was freed his warm fingers left a trail of fire up her stomach as he traced his way to her bra. The green of his eyes was hidden in the lightless room, leaving Anya to stare into his black eyes as Thane unclasped the front of her bra, releasing her sensitive breasts to feel the cool cabin air.

Finally, he glanced down at her body and his appreciative gaze made Anya shift against him, her body rolling to make contact with his, needy for his touch. He still had her wrists firmly secured above her head as he brought his mouth down to one of her pearled nipples. Anya shouted out in delight at the pleasure pain of him taking the delicate flesh between his teeth.

“Fuck,” Anya gyrated against him, rubbing herself against his leg as she tried to find any outlet for pleasure. She thrashed, in a fit of pent up wanton. “Oh, Thane, oh, fuck.” He moved his mouth to her other nipple and his free hand wandered back down her body, sliding under her pants until he found the molten hot folds he’d been looking for.

Anya arched into his touch, encouraging his fingers to work her the way she knew he could. When he pulled his fingers from her sex, she whimpered in displeasure. The look on Thane’s face was teasing and Anya didn’t have the patience for it.

Twisting her wrists from his grasp, Anya wrapped her leg around his waist and rolled herself on top of him. There was a pleased smile on Thane’s mouth when he looked up at her. His hands dragged up her body and cupped her breasts, his hooded gaze committing every moment to memory.

From her straddled position, Anya rubbed herself against him, feeling his arousal against hers. “No one likes a tease, Krios,” she growled when he arched his pelvis up, grinding himself against her. Reaching down between their bodies, Anya tugged down his pants until his throbbing erection sprung free from its constraints. “You’ve left me no choice but to take what I want.”

Thane’s body vibrated with his purr. He gave her the sideways smirk he knew drove her wild, and replied, “I am yours for the taking, Siha.”

*

Thane stretched out across the bed, enjoying the feeling of his muscles and his cracking joints. A smile lifted his features when Anya rolled against his side, burrowing in closely. He draped an arm around her and held her close, content to just lay there with his love in his arms.

Her fingers crept up his stomach to his chest and trailed along the scar to his collar bone. Thane took her hand in his and held it against his chest, allowing her to feel his heart beating happily within his ribcage. He looked down to meet her satisfied gaze, and his smile grew at the adoring look he found in the green of her eyes. Surely, he was blessed to have such a woman as his mate. Surely, the gods had smiled upon him the day they’d returned her to his arms.

Anya moved until she was perched on an elbow. Her gaze was on the vast galaxy beyond their cabin, watching the twinkling stars as she thought of things he wished he could hear. When she met his curious gaze a grin brightened her features and she asked, “Are you excited to see Kolyat again?”

“I am,” Thane nodded, brushing back her long crimson hair. The length truly suited her. Watching as the silky strands fell from his fingers, he continued, “I have left him not knowing that I’m alive for too long.”

Her features brightened as a thought occurred to her. A mischievous simper tugged at Anya’s lips and she flung herself out of bed. Throwing on some clothes she said, “You’re going to leave him in the dark for a little longer.”

Thane didn’t bother to fight back his smile at the sight of Anya struggling to find the leg hole in her shorts and hopped around as she tried to locate it. Shaking his head, he asked, “Why would I do that.”

Finding the hole, Anya pulled the shorts up and straightened her hair. She strode over to where her bag was forgotten by the wall and retrieved her portable terminal. Returning to the bed, she settled herself against the wall on the opposite side of the cabin and flipped the terminal on.

The orange glow illuminated her features, revealing to him the mischief dwelling just under her surface. “You’re going to do it because I’m telling you to.” At the sight of Thane’s quirked eyebrow she added, “And because I want to surprise him.”

“Don’t you think me being alive is surprise enough?”

Anya shook her head. “Now shush,” she placed a finger over her lips. “I’m going to connect with him and make sure he doesn’t suspect anything.”

Shaking his head, Thane leaned against the wall and watched the screen darken as the terminal connected with Kolyat’s. When his son’s face appeared on the screen, Thane’s heart soared. The young drell looked good, happy and healthy. He looked like he was doing well, and that was all Thane ever wanted for his son.

“Anya,” was Kolyat’s surprised greeting. He inspected Anya’s features closely, obviously shocked to be getting a call from the human at all. “You’re alive,” his familiar voice rumbled. “I was afraid that I wouldn’t hear from you again.”

A fond smile lifted the corners of Anya’s mouth as she gazed at the young man on the screen. It was apparent that she loved his son, her affection for him evident on her features. “Yeah, I’m alive, and a little insulted that you think I’d die so easily.”

Kolyat shook his head, a weary but apologetic smile on his lips. “Sorry, Anya, it’s just that you may not have left here with your head in the right place.” His large dark eyes were watching Anya closely, the smile on his lips growing as he said, “But you’re alive; and coming back home, right?”

Nodding, Anya said, “Yep, and I have a surprise for you.” She rubbed her hands excitedly, a lopsided grin on her face.

The young man on the screen gave her a curious look obviously put off by her unusual behavior. “Is it . . .  what do you humans call it?” His attention went off screen as he explained. “The little decorative ornament that you place on shelves, made of glass and filled with water and glitter.”

A female voice sounded from off screen, answering, “Snow globes, Kole.”

He nodded in gratitude and returned his attention to Anya. Smiling, he tried again, “Did you bring me a snow globe?”

Anya laughed and shook her head. “This is much, much better than a snow globe. But, I’m not telling.” She made a motion of zipping her lips and throwing away the key before grinning again.

The expression on Kolyat’s face was of concern. He was watching Anya as though she had sprouted a second head. After a contemplative moment he finally wondered, “Are you alright, Anya?”

“Yes, of course.” She paused, tilting her head curiously, and asked, “Why do you ask?”

“You’re acting very strangely.”

“I’m happy,” Anya shrugged as though it were nothing. “What, I’ve never been happy?”

Very seriously, Kolyat supplied, “Not in my experience, not like this.”

The smile on Anya’s lips fell a little at his confession, and Thane wondered what exactly his Siha had been like during their prolonged separation. Shrugging again, Anya confessed, “I found my brother and his family. I have a lot to be happy about.”

Kolyat’s eyes widened with surprise. A grin spread over his face and Thane was astounded at how often the young man seemed to laugh and smile when it came to Anya. “That’s great news! Have you told your parents?”

“Not yet,” Anya shook her head. “It’s their surprise.”

“So what’s mine?”

Laughing, she commended, “Nice try, but you’re going to have to wait and find out.”

The young man on the screen rolled his eyes and sighed, the air about him playful in a way that Thane was unfamiliar with. He smiled softly, almost lovingly, as he gazed at Anya. After a moment he asked, “When will you be returning?”

She glanced at the time before answering. “We should be docking at the Citadel in another nine hours.”

“We’ll be there waiting for you,” Kolyat’s departing smile warmed even Thane. “It’s good to know that you’re safe, Anya.”

“I’ll see you soon, Kolyat.” Anya smiled and waited for the screen to darken before shutting the terminal and setting it aside on the bed. Biting her lip, Anya ran a hand lovingly over the terminal before meeting Thane’s gaze. In response to the look on his face she asked, “What?”

“He cares about you,” Thane observed, gladdened by the realization. There wasn’t a better feeling than knowing that his son and his mate cared for one another. Thane had always feared that they wouldn’t get along. But it seemed that the two got along better than he expected. They got along better than he got along with his own son.

Anya nodded in agreement. “And I care about him.”

He took a moment to consider her words. After some thought, Thane asked, “Who was the woman that was with him?”

The smile that covered Anya’s mouth grew as she revealed, “That would be Oriana.”

“Lawson?” Thane arched a questioning eyebrow. “Miranda’s sister?”

“That’s the one,” Anya snapped her fingers into a gun. “They’ve been romantically involved for a while now. It’s pretty serious.”

Thane blinked, unable to wrap his mind around the idea. It wasn’t that he didn’t think his son could be open minded enough to date anyone outside their species; it was the fact that he had chosen Miranda’s sister. Returning his attention to Anya, he asked, “And how did Miranda take it?”

Anya shook her head as she recalled the memory. “Better than I expected, worse than I hoped.” She shrugged, “She took it how you’d expect a classy Cerberus operative to take it.”

“But they are a good pair?” Thane asked, not caring so much for Miranda’s reaction but for whether or not Oriana was good to his son.

Smiling brightly, she confirmed with a nod. “They are great together. Oriana brings out his smile like no one else. It’s a sight to behold, Sere Krios.”

“He smiled for you,” Thane observed.

“Not like he does for her.” She thought for a moment before cringing a little, “And thank the gods for that.” Crawling over to where Thane was seated, Anya settled in beside him and laced her fingers through his. She kissed his shoulder before resting her head against it, and said, “He’ll be happy to see you again.”

She had unknowingly addressed his greatest fear. Thumbing over her knuckles, Thane peered out the window and stared at the expanse of space laid out between them and the Citadel. “Do you think so?” he wondered, hoping he didn’t sound as unsure as he felt.

Anya tilted her head up to meet his gaze. The smile that lifted her lips was reassuring. “Of course he will. He’ll be surprised, that’s for sure, but once that passes he’ll be very happy to get another chance to be with his father.” She brought his knuckles to her lips and peppered his hand with kisses. “Don’t you worry.”

Thane draped his arm around her shoulders and pressed her against him. With her at his side everything else could be faced. Anya was his strength, and she would help him through whatever waited for them once aboard the Citadel, even his son.

__

They entered the Sol system and made it to the Citadel without incident. He and Anya left their cabin and joined the others at the airlock, shuffling their feet in nervous excitement to be returned to their families and homes. The docking bay doors opened and they began to disembark the ship-- the ship’s captain thanking everyone as they exited.

Thane didn’t recognize anyone at first, seeing only the back’s of heads and the faces of waiting loved ones. He searched the crowd for his son’s face, looking for the vibrant blue scales that separated Kolyat from the soft skinned humans in the docking area.

He found his son the same moment that Kolyat spotted Anya. He left the petite girl at his side, who Thane recognized as Oriana Lawson, and ran to meet Anya half way. Thane’s mate threw herself into Kolyat’s arms and squeezed him tightly, her laughter filling the docking area and causing Thane’s smile to grow. The both of them truly did care for one another, more than he had originally thought.

When they pulled apart, Anya glanced over her shoulder to find the reason Kolyat stood shocked in front of her. Thane smiled at his son, staring at the young man’s cerulean eyes and seeing Irikah in their depths. The men stood there for a moment, frozen into place as they exchanged searching looks.

Thane offered his son a disarming smile. “Kolyat,” he said in greeting, his name holding all of the emotions Thane hadn’t been able to say.

The young drell looked Thane from head to toe, shaking his head in disbelief. After a moment, Kolyat threw himself into Thane’s arms and squeezed him. “Father,” his voice was thick with emotion. “You’re alive.”

He returned his son’s embrace with double the fervor, ecstatic to have his son returned to him yet again. “I am,” he replied. “Anya has returned you to me once again.”

When they parted their attention was drawn to the grinning crimson haired woman standing to the side. To Kolyat she sang, “Surprise!”

Kolyat chuckled and shook his head. “You weren’t lying,” he commented. “This is much better than a snow globe.” When a young woman cleared her throat beside him, Kolyat’s attention fell to the dark haired girl. He gave her a warm smile before returning his gaze to meet Thane’s.

“Father, I don’t think you’ve been introduced. This is Oriana Lawson, my girlfriend. Oriana this is my father, Thane Krios.”

The young woman accepted Thane’s outstretched hand and gave it a firm shake, a large smile on her lips as she regarded the older, green scaled drell. “It’s a pleasure to be able to meet you, Mr. Krios.”

“Please,” Thane smiled, “call me Thane.”

Oriana looked up at Kolyat, the smile on her lips was one so very different than any her sister had ever made. “So you’re the reason that Shepard is so happy. We knew something was up,” she said to Anya who shrugged indifferently.

“I wasn’t lying. I actually  did find my brother.” Turning slightly, Anya waved for the rest of their party to come and join the reunion.

Introductions were quickly made before the lot of them moved to baggage claim to collect the items that Michael and his family had brought with them. They moved for the rapid transit terminal, trying to hail a vehicle large enough to carry all of them to the other side of the Citadel. Thane’s attention was drawn to the feeling of someone approaching them.

A smartly dressed asari approached their group, zeroing in on Anya as she closed the distance between them. When Anya turned to face the woman a curious look turned his mate’s features.

“Mila,” Anya’s questioning voice said by way of greeting.

“Welcome back from your assignment.” The asari bowed her head before straightening back up and saying, “The Councilors would like to speak with you, Spectre Shepard.”

Anya glanced up at Thane and gave him a speculative stare, considering just telling the messenger to inform the Council that she had better things to do; like unpacking and settling in with her family. After a moment she nodded and said, “And I’d like to speak with them as well.” She laced her fingers with Thane’s, gesturing that she would go nowhere without him. The asari picked raised a disapproving eyebrow but nodded that she understood.

When the messenger named Mila stepped away from the group, Anya turned to face the others. With a sigh, she said, “Thane and I are going to meet up with the Council. I have to give them my two week notice. Kolyat, bring them to the apartment and wait for us there, okay?”

He nodded and she gave them all a reassuring smile. “We’ll see you in a bit.”

Thane walked with Anya as they followed Mila to the elevator. It was a quiet ride to the Presidium and he silently wondered what it was that the Council would want to speak with her about. Anya had given them the full debriefing while she was still on Zorya, and Lysithea had stayed behind to deal with whatever remained to be done.

Arriving at the Presidium, Mila gave Thane a look, wordlessly informing him that he was unwelcome to follow Anya into the meeting with the Council. Reluctantly, and after much arguing, Anya relented and agreed to let him stay behind and wait for them.

He found a comfortable seat under some trees and watched as a keeper tended to something in between bulkheads. Thane looked to where Mila had taken Anya and sighed. He didn’t like being separated from his mate. They’d been apart for too long, but he waited patiently for his Siha to return to him.

After almost fifteen minutes, Anya reappeared. Thane stood from the bench and watched as she sauntered down the stairs, a satisfied look in her emerald green eyes. She walked into his arms, giving him a quick kiss as she said, “That was the best feeling in the world.”

“How did they take your resignation?” wondered Thane as he turned them towards the elevator.

“Not as badly as –“ she was cut off by someone calling her name.

“Commander Shepard!" A salarian ran toward them.

Thane could see Anya’s hackles rising as she bristled at the sound of someone’s approach. “Now what,” she grumbled as she turned to face their intruder.

The salarian stopped in front of them, out of breath from the hurried run to catch up. “Greetings Commander,” he breathed out. “My name is Corel Ba’edesh, personal assistant to the Dalatrass.”

Anya arched a crimson eyebrow, “And what does the personal assistant to the Dalatrass want with me?”

“I want nothing,” Corel rectified, “I've come at the Dalatrass’ behest. She would like to speak with you.” His large slanted gaze glanced up to Thane and he corrected, “Both of you.”

That was enough to warrant their undivided attention. It was Thane that inquired, “She wants to see me as well?”

“Indeed,” Corel nodded, “If you both would please follow me.”

Thane and Anya shared an unsure glance then, after a moment, followed the salarian further into the Presidium where the Dalatrass’ office was located. As they entered the office they noticed salarians darting around, talking in their hurried pace as they exchanged information and did whatever it was that the Dalatrass needed of them.

Corel led them to the door at the back of the office and stood to the side.  The door opened  after swiping his identification chip on the console, and he gestured for them to enter.

The Dalatrass was standing in front of the window, staring at sky-cars as they zipped past. She turned to face them at the sound of visitors entering her office. When her gaze landed on Thane a smile lifted her features. Something that Thane mistook for pride was hidden in her strange large eyes.

“Commander,” she addressed Anya with an unfriendly smile. The Dalatrass glanced again at Thane before adding, “I’d like to thank you for returning the test subject to me.”


	27. Chapter 27

“ _I’d like to thank you for returning the test subject to me._ ”

Shock had Anya frozen in place as she gaped at the Dalatrass and tried to make sense of her words. After a moment her shock gave way to fury. “Your test subject?”

She remembered the mission the salarian woman had tried to force upon her a little over a week ago. It was Thane that she’d been referring to. The whole time the Dalatrass knew about Thane, knew that he was probably alive, and she’d kept the entire thing a secret.

“I should have guessed.”

The salarian gave her a demeaning look, as though Anya’s ignorance was of no surprise. “Yes, well, you have my thanks, Spectre.”

Anya blinked, taken aback by the blatant dismissal. She glanced back to where Thane stood behind her. His features were furrowed with his confusion. She had her own questions, but fury made her forget what they had been.  
Returning her glare to the Dalatrass, Anya growled, “Keep your thanks, I’m not returning him to you.” Before the salarian woman could rebuke, Anya spit out, “You knew it was him the entire time, knew what he meant to me. That’s why you didn’t want to give me all of the information up front.”

The Dalatrass shrugged like her conniving was of little consequence. “I asked for your help; Don’t forget that it was _you_ that turned _me_ away” Her large slanted eyes landed on Thane, a plotting smile twisting the corners of her mouth as she stared at him. She had plans for him, a lifetime worth of tests, poking and prodding. “It appears that it doesn’t matter. In the end you did exactly what I wanted.”

Anya stepped in front of Thane, trying to block the Dalatrass’ view of her mate even if she was shorter than him. Anger was boiling hotter and hotter within her, setting her blood on fire and rimming her vision with red. She wouldn’t let the Dalatrass anywhere near Thane. The salarian could try at the cost of her life.

Hackles rising, Anya became very defensive of the man standing behind her. “You can’t have him,” she growled, carefully eyeing the salarian as she dared her to make a move.

“Commander,” the Dalatrass tsked as if she were speaking to a child. “Mr. Krios is the result of the newest advances in medical science. His life is too valuable to keep to yourself. Do you understand how many lives he can save? Or how much we can learn from him?”

Shaking her head, Anya seethed, “I don’t care.” When the Dalatrass glared at her in disbelief, she said, “You want me to turn him over to you so that you can treat him like a lab rat. Thane is a living, breathing, feeling person. I’m not going to let him become a prisoner to your tests.”

“He has been cured from Kepral’s, Commander.” The Dalatrass commented as though Anya hadn’t already guessed that. “Lives were lost bringing him back from the dead. More lives depend on the science we invested into him. Have you any idea how many people are praying for a cure. And there he stands, the only hope for dozens of drell. Are you truly so selfish as to stand in the way of all those lives.”

When Thane made a sound like he was about to speak she raised her hand and interrupted him. “Yes,” was Anya’s immediate reply. “I am.” 

The salarian woman sighed. “I want this done with as little trouble as possible, Commander. If you won’t freely return him to our custody, then I’ll have to evoke my right to him.” When Anya raised an eyebrow, the Dalatrass explained. “Mr. Krios donated his body to science upon his death. That is how we gained possession of it, and that is how we will get him back. That man is the property of the Salarian Task Group and you will release him to us immediately.”

“No,” Anya snarled between clenched teeth, a fierce lioness protecting her pride. Keeping herself in front of Thane her glare turned murderous. “You _will not_ take him.”

The Dalatrass gave Anya an exasperated look. Seeing that the human wouldn’t hear reason she moved her attention over to Thane, addressing the subject of this confrontation directly. “Dozens of drell are dying from the very thing that killed you. You have a responsibility.”

“To be a lab rat?” Anya countered, furious that the Dalatrass would stoop so low as to appeal to Thane’s honor. “You brought him back from the dead, gave him another chance at life, just to hold him prisoner to your tests?”

“Siha,” Thane intervened. “She’s right. I have a responsibility.”

“Bullshit,” she turned on him, angry and desperate emerald eyes searching his face. She wouldn’t let him do this. She’d had a taste of what life was without him. Anya would rather die a hundred deaths than to have to live through it ever again. She was never going to go through that again. He couldn’t ask her to.

“You have a _responsibility_ to your son to be his father. You have a _responsibility_ to me to be my mate. You don’t owe her shit. If anything she owes you.” With a growl Anya returned her attention to the Dalatrass, her eyes narrowed into a fierce glare. “No,” her scowl deepened as she spoke to the other woman. “You owe me. I’ve never asked the Council for anything –”

“Except to be dead in the public eye,” the Dalatrass corrected. “Which is no easy task, I might add.”

Anya continued like she hadn’t been interrupted. “But now I have to intervene. Thane Krios is mine and you can’t have him.”

Thane’s hand fell on Anya’s shoulder, pulling her back before she charged the Dalatrass and beat her to a pulp. Turning her to face him his large black eyes stared into hers, asking that she listen to reason. As his thumb brushed the length of her cheek he said, “I have a few questions.”

“And I have the answers,” the Dalatrass interrupted and Thane held Anya by the chin to keep her from glowering at the salarian.

“I’ve had questions since waking up,” he continued as though it were only the two of them in the room. Thane gently held her by the arms, reassuring her with his presence. “Let me at least get some answers.”

Schooling her features to hide her displeasure, Anya forced the persistent no back down. She shut her eyes and sucked in a steadying breath. It had been well over a year since Thane woke up, and every day since then had probably been haunted by unanswerable questions. She could understand his desire to at least get his answers. Admittedly, she wouldn’t mind some answers herself.

Just as Anya was about to open her mouth and consent to his request, the Dalatrass interrupted. “Return to the STG science base on Zarkesh and we’ll answer every question you have.”

Anya balked at the thought. Setting her jaw, she tore herself from Thane’s hands and returned her glare to the woman at the other end of the room. “He isn’t going anywhere with you. Thane isn’t some test subject, he’s a father, he’s my mate, and the only way you’ll ever get your slippery hands on him is over my dead body.”

Swiveling around, Anya glared at Thane and growled, “Come.” She stormed out of the room-- frequently glancing back to make sure that no one tried to stop Thane from leaving the offices.

They made it back out to the Presidium without being stopped by the salarians or any of the C-Sec officers. Anya watched every movement and every person they passed, alert to any threat to her mate. Thane followed loyally behind her. It was easy to tell by his expression that he wanted to talk to her about what just happened, but he was smart enough to know that now wasn’t the time to talk to her about it.

The elevator quickly grew suffocating with the tension radiating off of Anya. She stalked from one wall to the other, huffing and growling at the memory of the Dalatrass’ infuriatingly victorious face and her high-and-mighty attitude. She thought she could get whatever she wanted, did she? Well, she had another thing coming. Anya wasn’t going to let her anywhere near Thane. She dared the Dalatrass to try.

“Siha,” Thane said after minute. He was brave enough to step out in front of her, forcing her to stop and face him. Placing his hands on her shoulders, Thane rubbed her arms as he gazed down at her. Love showed plain as day in those big dark eyes of his, and Anya forced herself to keep calm for whatever he’d say next. “You know that I love you.”

Nodding, Anya replied, “I love you, too.”

He gave her a long measured look, finding the words before daring to say them. After a moment he started, “Though I know and understand why you are refusing to come to any kind of agreement with the Dalatrass, I need you to understand that I am not some toy that you and she can fight over.” He spoke over her when Anya started to argue. “The decision whether or not I go with her is mine to make. Not hers and not yours, mine.”

Anya’s eyes narrowed as her anger doubled then redoubled, multiplying by itself with each inhale she made. “Not my decision?”

*

Thane immediately recognized the hard set to Anya’s emerald eyes. She took a fuming step forward, the anger in her green irises scalding in its heat. Perhaps that had not been his most tactful argument.

Poking an angry finger into his chest, Anya growled, “You are my mate, Thane. You say it’s not my decision? Well it’s no longer just your decision either. This no longer affects just you. It affects your son and it affects me. I don’t care about the Dalatrass. I care about my family and keeping it together. And if that means fighting the very galaxy that I tried to save, then so be it. Bring it on.”

The elevator dinged and the doors parted with a hiss. Giving Thane one last growl she turned on her heel and left him in the metal box. Taking in a deep breath, Thane muttered a prayer to Arashu and followed her onto the silversun strip. Maybe the lord of hunters would help him calm his snarling beast.

He easily located Anya in the crowd. People jumped out of the way as she made a path, the look on her face was a deterrent from making any kind of protest. Shaking his head, Thane followed after her and caught up as she was glowering at an elcor fiercely enough to make him take a terrified step back. 

“With barely contained terror: My apologies ma’am, I did not mean to be in your way.”

As Thane reclaimed his place beside her he gave the elcor an apologizing look. “Siha,” he tried, even though he knew that she wouldn’t listen to anything he had to say. “It’s the right thing to do and you know it.”

Anya scoffed. The sidelong glance she gave him burned with distaste. “The only thing that I _know_ is that this subject is no longer open for discussion.” She tore her glare from him and pointed her attention forward. 

They entered a building that he assumed was hers. Anya ignored the polite attendant by the door as she stormed passed. Offering the offended woman an apologizing grimace, Thane hurried after Anya before she could insult or offend anyone else along their path. 

There was only a long hall between them and the apartment, and Anya’s angry steps furiously closed the distance. She quickly punched in the passcode and hurried inside before Thane could stop her outside the door.

“Hey, Banana,” Michael’s voice greeted them from somewhere inside of the apartment. “Who’d you have to kill to get digs like this?”

Thane stopped at the entryway, paused in his pursuit to admire the unexpected beauty of Anya’s apartment. His focus returned to his mate when she snarled an answer to her brother.

“The Reapers,” she seethed before running up the stairs.

Michael’s expression fell as he watched his sister disappear up the stairs. Slowly, he and the others moved their confused gazes from the stairs to where Thane stood at the entrance.

“Father?” the question went unsaid in the undertones of Kolyat’s voice. His brows were furrowed with concern, and his features openly inquired what everyone else was wondering.

Moving around the counter, Michael left the kitchen and finished the question Kolyat had started. “Is everything alright, Thane?”

Slightly shaking his head, Thane followed Anya’s route up the stairs. Michael’s mildly amused voice trailed behind with the advice, “Keep her away from the vacuum.” It was an inside joke Thane wasn’t yet a part of, and he ignored it as he made his way up the stairs.

Thane paused at the landing, where he would have been lost if not for the angry footfalls down the hall. Later he would have time to admire her spacious apartment, but now he had an upset woman to face. Gods help him, he would need them in order to make it out of this confrontation with his life.

He followed the grumbling and swearing until he reached her room. In the corner, the space hamster nervously watched as its master stomped to and from the closet. It appeared as though an explosion had gone off in the wardrobe. 

Clothes and shoes were scattered about, chaotically thrown onto the bed and the floor as Anya cleared out her walk in closet. She would disappear into its depths only to return growling and cursing as she threw armsful of clothes out into the room.

Standing by the door, he watched the procedure for a moment; concerned and mesmerized all at the same time. Thane could feel Anya’s fury like flames lapping at his scales. He knew that he needed to say something to calm his incensed mate, but for the moment he was silenced by his confusion and fascination. This wasn’t the first time that he had witnessed her anger, it wasn’t even the first time that he’d been on the receiving end of it. It was the first time, however, that Anya had been this infuriated.

After the moment had passed, Thane dared to ask, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing,” she snarled, emerald eyes boring sharply into him like varren teeth. Grinding her teeth, Anya glared at him for another second before returning to her vehemently performed task. “I’m cleaning out the closet.”

Thane watched as she returned with another armful of clothes to throw onto the bed. She went back into the closet and he asked, “Why?”

“Because I want to,” a pair of boots flew from the closet with her response, several more following as she said, “What is this, twenty questions?”

Anya appeared at the closet entrance, her hands firmly clutching the door frame as she glared at him with enough anger to fillet the flesh off of Thane’s bones. “You want to play twenty questions? Fine, we’ll play twenty questions. My turn: why are you so eager to run off to the Dalatrass’ science team and leave your family behind?”

The words were powerful enough to send him a step back. Thane’s lips thinned with his distaste. Slowly, his own anger began to stir within him. She made it sound as though it were some simple thing, as though Thane was only too glad to abandon his family at the first opportunity. 

Shaking his head, he replied, “I’m not eager to go anywhere. The last thing I want is to leave my family.” He stared at Anya pleadingly, begging her to open her ears and listen to reason. “Why are you acting like this, Anya?”

A hand shot up at the sound of his question, demanding him to shut his mouth. “It’s still my turn to ask the questions. If you want to play the game, Krios, learn the rules.” The tick in her jaw intensified before she asked, “If you don’t want to go with her then why even entertain conversation with that . . . _demon_?”

Exasperated, Thane answered, “It’s not about ‘wanting’ to go with her, it’s about doing the right thing. The Dalatrass was right; I have a responsibility to my people.” He took a step towards Anya, only to be forced to stop at the razor edge that sharpened her glare. “People are dying. Families are losing loved ones to Kepral's Syndrome. I’ve been cured. I’m the answer to their prayers. But instead of doing everything I can to help them, you want me to hide, to run? What kind of man would that make me?”

“The kind that has a family,” Anya rebuked. “It makes you the kind of man who wants to be happy.”

Thane shook his head. Softly, he corrected, “It makes me selfish. It makes me a coward.”

“It’s not cowardice to be a little bit selfish,” she argued.

Offering her a sympathizing look, Thane said, “This isn’t a little selfish, Siha,” he took another step towards her. “This is turning my back on hundreds of sick, hopeless, people because I couldn’t think beyond me.”

Anya lifted her chin in defiance. Softly she annunciated, “I don’t care.”

He lifted an eyebrow, challenging her to that fact. “You don’t care?” When she nodded that he had heard her correctly, Thane tried again. “People are dying and I can save them, and you don’t care?”

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she shook her head. “I care about you. I care about Kolyat. I’ve sacrificed everything for everyone countless times. I will not sacrifice you for anyone. Salarians are a resourceful people. I have the utmost confidence in their abilities to figure something else out.”

“With what?” Thane asked. “All of their research was destroyed. All they have is me. Anya, are you truly going to damn dozens of families, hundreds of people, just to keep me by your side?”

A scowl grew across her lips, a fierce look shadowing her features. “I’m willing to do so much more if it means keeping you with me.” Taking a furious step towards him, she continued. “And the fact that you would so easily walk away from us, from another chance to have a family, to join the Dalatrass’ pursuit for scientific advancement pisses me the _fuck_ off.”

Thane narrowed his eyes. “I’m not abandoning our family by doing what is right.”

“Aren’t you though?” Thane flinched away from her arduous accusation. “How great for Kolyat. After two years of thinking you’re dead, I bring you back only for you to run off with the Dalatrass not even a full twenty hours later. Would you like to explain to him how  you aren’t abandoning him, or should I?”

He took in a steadying breath in attempt to maintain some semblance of calm. Anya was making it very difficult for him to keep his emotions in check. If she kept shouting at him the way she was, it would only be a matter of time before he started shouting back. They’d been reunited for only three days and already she was doing everything to get a rise out of him. She was scratching her way under his skin, and Thane clenched and unclenched his hands to keep from reaching out and shaking her.

“What the Dalatrass is doing is right.” Thane would keep trying to use logic and rationality, knowing that Anya would ignore it and retaliate with emotion and her bruised pride. “She wants to save people, my people.”

Anya rolled her eyes, turning around she stomped back into the closet to continue her momentarily forgotten task of cleaning it out. Ripping clothes from their hangers she threw them at Thane’s feet, growling, “Well isn’t she just a motherfucking saint?” 

She furiously flung more clothes in Thane’s direction. “If her holiness’ intentions are so fucking pure then why has this entire thing been a secret? She came to me behind the Council’s back to offer me and Lysithea the job. If this was on the up and up then the Council would already be involved; but they aren’t. She’s doing this in secret. The tests, the test subjects, everything they did to you was done in secret. She’s a conniving, plotting, manipulative bitch and I will _never_ trust her with the one person I value most in the entire universe.”

“If she can cure Kepral’s Syndrome then what does it matter how it’s done?” Thane wondered, tired of this argument and the look in Anya’s emerald eyes. She refused to understand. She refused to listen. That sexy set to her brows made him so angry he could hardly hold it back. How was it possible to be this angry at someone while desiring them all the while?

Her lip curled and his feverish desire to bite into her neck grew. “Now you sound like the Illusive Man. The means to the end matters, no matter the circumstance.”

“Our careers were accomplished by side stepping legalities and breaking rules, Anya. So what if she broke a few rules in order to find a cure? In the end, lives will be saved, but only if I help her.”

Anya set her jaw and shook her head. Crossing her arms in front of her chest she brought Thane’s attention down to her generous cleavage, and spit out, “No.”

“It’s not your decision,” it was the statement that had started this whole argument. He knew better than to take away her voice in the matter, but Thane had had enough of the dispute. He wanted to rip off Anya’s clothes and settle this the old fashioned way, and if she persisted that was exactly what he was going to do.

*

The nerve of him! Anya’s teeth ached from all the grinding she’d been putting them through. It was incredible how he knew exactly what to say to make her see red. It was like he chose the most infuriating words he knew, put them into a sentence, and then had the gall to say them aloud. 

Her anger got the best of her. Anya couldn’t hold herself back a moment longer. Stepping over a pile of shoes, she placed herself toe to toe with her aggravatingly handsome drell. Normally their difference in height set her heart aflutter, but now it was one more thing that pissed her off. 

Getting as much in his face as she could, Anya bit out, “It’s as much my decision as it is yours.”

Without another word Thane’s mouth descended upon Anya’s, forcing her into an enragingly arousing kiss. His arms wound tightly around her when she tried to shove him back. They were in the middle of an argument, gods damnit, he didn’t get to distract her with sex.

She fought against him for a grand total of two seconds before succumbing to the decadence of his passion. Anya could taste his anger on her tongue, could feel his irritation scorching her skin. His frustration spoke directly to her senses and set her insides aflame.

Thane’s fingers viciously threaded through her hair, tilting her head back so that he could lap and bite at her neck. It was a task he normally performed with delightfully gentle attention. Now it was an intrusion. It was rough and angry. Thane was marking her, asserting his dominance over her, and Anya was melting despite herself.

He moved, shoving Anya back into a wall. Thane loomed over her, an imposing and arousing sight as he pressed himself against her. His hand went from her waist to her breast. Slipping his fingers through the buttons he ripped her shirt open, revealing her excitedly heaving chest to him.

Anya reached up to wrap her arms around Thane’s neck in attempt to return his lips to hers, but he shrugged her off of him with a growl. Grabbing her wrists, he pinned her arms above her head and held her face in warning. His smoldering gaze branded into her flesh, leaving a trail of fire as he admired her helpless position.

Control lost, her hips started to gyrate against him, the slight motion making her groan in pleasure until he pressed himself against her, pinning her uselessly against the wall. Thane had her boxed in. She could feel his arousal against her, but could do nothing to pleasure him or herself. With her hands uselessly trapped above her head, and her lower half trapped between Thane and the wall, Anya could only glare up at her mate, silently demanding that he let her get her satisfaction.

He did nothing but stare down at her, and she recognized what he intended. Thane would be doing the touching. This was about him, what he wanted, and she was only a vessel to realize his desire. In spite of her frustration, Anya relaxed the set of her jaw and lowered her gaze to his chest.

Satisfied by her submission, Thane returned to his self-assigned task of undressing her. His scaley fingers roved over her skin, starting at her chest before slithering around her side and finding the clasp securing her bra at her back. With experienced deftness, he released the clasps and her bra loosened.

Releasing her wrists, Thane watched as she lowered her arms and let her bra and shirt fall off of her shoulders. He reclaimed her hand and placed it on his throbbing sex, his wordless instructions loud and clear. Gladly, Anya rubbed her hand over his length and harmonized her moan with Thane’s at the feeling of him. Gods, she needed him so badly.

She bit her lip as she stared down at the the bulge in his pants. The fabric keeping her touch from making contact with his skin was aggravating. Anya wanted to feel him, to be burned by his heat. Curling her fingers around the waistband, she tried to slide her digits down to stroke him only to have her wrist caught by his hand.

Looking up to meet Thane’s narrowed gaze, she kept her protest to herself at the sight of the scowl on his lips. He grabbed a fistful of her hair and brought his face down to hers. Quietly, Thane growled, “If you want to play the game, Siha, learn the rules.”

Anya rumbled in displeasure. She didn’t like when he used her words against her. Arching herself towards him, she complained, “I don’t like this game.”

Thane was ruthless. Unperturbed by her pout, and unmoved by her whining, he turned her around so she her back was towards him and pushed her against the wall, the sound of him unzipping his pants causing her to inhale sharply. Before she could make a noise in complaint, he ripped her pants down and arched her bottom up towards him. He pressed her against the wall as he pressed himself against her, the bulbous head of his penis feeling the slickness of her folds.

“I didn’t ask if you liked the game,” he hissed at the feeling of her rubbing herself against his tip. Without warning, Thane sheathed himself to the hilt. They cried out at the same time, Anya in pleasure-pain of being so suddenly invaded by him. He only waited a moment, giving her body the shortest of seconds to accommodate his size before he started thrusting.

Biting back the load moans that crowded the back of her throat, Anya pressed her face to the wall and took Thane’s brutal claiming in relative silence. He wanted to play rough? Fine, then he wouldn’t get the satisfaction of hearing her love every second of it.

He pulled her crimson hair, his mouth suddenly beside her ear. Taking her earlobe into his mouth, Thane commanded, “I want to hear you, Siha.” When Anya clamped her mouth shut, he bit down on her shoulder hard enough to draw blood. Thane’s skilled fingers crawled around her waist and found their way between her legs. The moment he touched her hyper-sensitive clit Anya cried out a curse.

“That’s it,” he rubbed her in unison with his punishing thrusts. “Let me hear you.” Thane milked every mew and moan out of her. His free hand felt the muscles in her back and shoulders, his nails digging into her skin.

“Louder,” he pounded into her.

Past clenched teeth, Anya shouted, “Oh, Thane, fuck me.” She was so close, and by the rate of his body plowing into hers, she could tell that he was too. Anya was thrown over the edge and plummeted into euphoria when Thane’s fingers pinched her nipples. A second later he chased after her and fell into his own foggy bliss.

Thane rested against Anya’s back, catching his breath as he eased himself out of her. Gently kissing her shoulder, he stepped back and gave her enough room to straighten back up. She stayed there for a moment, propped up against the wall, and let her body come down from the orgasim.

Turning her to face him, Thane kissed her brow, her eyelids, her cheeks, and then her lips. He was handling her now with a tenderness that hadn’t existed moments before. Large apologetic eyes gazed down at her as he asked, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Anya shook her head and gave her mate a reassuring smile. “Only my ego.” Kicking off her pants, she walked past him to the bathroom where she turned on the shower. “You showed me who’s boss,” When she glanced over her shoulder she was pleased to see Thane trailing in behind her, removing what remained of his clothing as well. “It won’t be a lesson I’ll soon forget.”

The rumble that sounded from his chest was satisfied. They slipped into the hot shower and began to clean each other off. Pouring Anya’s raspberry scented body wash onto a loofa, Thane scrubbed her surface with reverent adoration. She chuckled softly to herself as she poured the same feminine body wash into her hands and used it to clean off Thane.

A soft smile eased onto Thane’s lips and Anya stood on the tips of her toes to steal a kiss from him. The angry sex had been just the thing to clear her head, and now Anya felt more open to conversation. Rubbing the sweet smelling suds onto his scales, she said, “I can’t be without you, Thane.”

His eyes were focused on the task of massaging the soapy water onto the skin of her neck and collarbone. Without glancing up Thane observed, “We don’t really know what the Dalatrass intends to do. We don’t know if you even will be without me.”

“Doesn’t that bother you?” Anya wondered, ducking her head until she caught his gaze. When Thane looked up from her neck and looked her in the eye, she continued, “Doesn’t it bother you not knowing what she’s planning to do to you, or what’s going to happen to us? Because it bothers me.”

Returning her attention to scrubbing his scales, Anya admitted, “I’ve already had a taste of what life can be like without you. I won’t go through that again. She can’t make me, and you can’t ask that of me. Please don’t ask me to go through that again, Thane. I can’t.”

“I know, Siha.” Thane wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pressed her naked body against his. Rubbing her soapy back, his silky voice assured her, “I won’t ask you to go through that again. Whatever happens we will stay together, no matter the cost.”

A weary smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. “That’s all I wanted you to say.” She pulled slightly away and gazed up at the handsome drell glistening with droplets of water. With a sigh, Anya finally relented. “We can speak to the Dalatrass.” At the sight of a hopeful spark brightening Thane’s features, she inserted, “But only if the Council is involved. I won’t stand for anymore of her sneaky bullshit. If she want’s you, it’s going to be under my terms, no exceptions.”

“No exceptions,” Thane agreed, a content grin on his face. That smile made it all worth it. Anya would do anything for that smile, even deal with the Dalatrass. The kiss he passionately placed on her lips awoke a familiar fire in the deep of her gut. When they parted for a breath Thane whispered, “Thank you, Siha.”

Anya stared into the hidden green of her mate’s eyes and felt the rest of the weight of her previous anger melt off. A small embarrassed smile inched across her lips and she brushed an imaginary speck from Thane’s bare chest. “So maybe I should apologize for kind of losing it back there, huh?”

The smile he gave her was teasing, “It wouldn’t hurt.”

Sucking in a deep breath, she stated, “I, Anya Marie Shepard, hereby apologize for my stubborn, rude, juvenile and inappropriate behavior.” To his growing grin she asked, “Would you please forgive me?”

Thane pursed his lips as he considered her apology, the thoughtful air about him was playful. After a moment he nodded and pressed his lips to the tip of her nose. “I think I might be able to do that.”

Anya pulled from his arms. Wrapping a towel around her body she walked backwards  into bedroom, making a _come hither_ motion with her finger as she said, “Let me make it up to you, Sere Krios.”

He stalked after her, a predatory smile playing on his lips. “Gladly,” Thane purred as he joined her on the bed.


	28. Chapter 28

Darkness encompassed them, shadowing the room with its comforting blackness. Nerves made it difficult to sleep and what little rest he did find was short lived. Beside him, Anya was snoring softly. For whatever reason, tonight there were no nightmares. His mate had slept peacefully through the night and Thane smiled at the contented expression that was softly brushing her features.

Combing crimson strands of hair from her face, Thane took advantage of the moment to watch Anya sleep and wished he could share the peace she exuded. He didn’t know why such a powerful somberness had possessed him. Morning would bring possibilities, and yet Thane was weary of what those possibilities would be.

He had convinced Anya to allow the Dalatrass perform her tests, and yet, now that he had his Siha’s consent, he wasn’t sure he trusted the Dalatrass’ intentions. The salarian woman had claimed possession of Thane’s body as if he weren’t alive inside of it. It made Thane wonder if she and the doctors under her employment hadn’t let him die in the first place, knowing that they’d gain possession of his corpse to do with what they pleased.

Anya was right to not trust the Dalatrass and Thane trusted Anya’s instinct as much as he trusted his own. Whatever came with the morning, Thane would do everything within his power to stay by his Siha’s side.

Thane pushed the comforter aside as he climbed out of bed. If sleep was going to evade him for the rest of the night then he wasn’t going to stay in bed. Glancing back at his sleeping mate, Thane carefully crept out of their room. 

He walked up to the reading area between their room and Kolyat’s, his attention on the Anya’s collection of books. His gaze fell onto a chair and Thane imagined his Siha seated there, reading, without a care in the world-- no lives to save, no galaxy to unite. That was what he wanted for Anya, to provide her with a worry-free life, a home, and a family. Thane wanted her to be happy, and he wanted to be the one to make her happy. Could he do that and still help his people?

“Father?” Kolyat’s voice was hushed as he left his and Oriana’s room. The young drell closely watched his father’s features for a moment before motioning for Thane to follow him downstairs.

Giving the seat in which he had imagined Anya reading a final glance, Thane followed Kolyat down the stairwell and into the spacious entertainment center. Kolyat went to the bar and retrieved two bottles of water. As he joined his father in front of the expansive windows he handed Thane a bottle, who accepted it with a grateful nod.

Kolyat’s cerulean eyes reflected the bright and colorful lights beyond their home. Without looking at Thane, he asked, “Can’t sleep either?”

Thane shook his head and stared at his son. The change in Kolyat was incredible and Thane was proud to see him like this. With Thane’s death Kolyat had grown into himself. All it took was a look for Thane to see the exceptional man his son had become. It was the way Kolyat stood, with his shoulders straight, proud and confident. He carried himself like a man, not the young, angry boy Thane had left behind. Kolyat was everything Thane dreamed he would become, and he had done it without his father’s guidance.

“Anya always sleeps best before an eventful day,” Thane commented before sipping from his water bottle. That always surprised him. Where everyone else would spend the night tossing and turning, Anya could shut her eyes and be lost to a restful sleep. 

‘ _Sleep is important before a big day,_ ’ she’d once explained to him with a shrug. ‘ _I guess I just always took that to heart.’_

Kolyat glanced at Thane as he wondered, “No nightmare’s tonight?”

Shaking his head again, Thane confirmed, “Not tonight.” He gazed at his son’s features for a moment, growing accustomed to the adult aura that Kolyat emitted. 

Considering his mate sleeping soundly in their bed, Thane asked, “She has nightmares often?” It was strange that his son knew more about his mate than he did. Life had changed both of them in wake of his death, and now they knew each other better than Thane knew either one.

“Every night,” Kolyat casually informed him as though it were an accepted part of his day to day. After some thought he added, “Some nights are worse than others. There are nights where she screams so loudly it wakes Ori and me up. Those are the worst.”

A frown tugged at Thane’s features. The knowledge that Anya was plagued by nightmares was disconcerting. Every night since their reunion Thane had had to wake her up from a bad dream, but they were never as severe as his son was describing.

After a moment of silence Kolyat said, “I think they might stop altogether now, though.”

Thane gave him a curious look. “What makes you say that?” 

“She dreams about you,” Kolyat shrugged. 

Surprised, Thane could only stare at his son for a moment. Kolyat and Anya were even closer than Thane had originally thought. Getting information out of Anya was sometimes like pulling teeth, but for Kolyat she didn’t resist. He bit back his unnecessary jealousy and asked, “How do you know?”

Shrugging again, Kolyat replied, “She told me that her dreams were about you, but she never told me why.” When he noticed the concern in his father’s eyes, Kolyat explained, “Anya thought that she’d failed you by not dying on the Catalyst. She thought that she’d broken a promise to you and that you’d never forgive her for it. Now that you’re alive,” he shrugged as though the sentence could explain itself. “She’ll get better.”

He rubbed his neck as though he were uncomfortable confessing the next part to his father, though he did so anyway. “You don’t know what she was like after they brought her back from the Catalyst.”

Thane looked pleadingly at his son, desperate to understand what happened to Anya that had changed her so dramatically. “Would you share it with me.”

After a moment of deliberation, Kolyat reluctantly nodded. This was Anya’s story to share, but he understood his father’s need to know. Breathing out through his nose, Kolyat shut his eyes and relaxed his body, allowing himself to relive the memory.

_“The light streams into the window, making her strange hair shine like blood. Eyes like gems bore into mine, desperate. She thinks I am the answer to her problems. ‘I need to ask you something.’ Her voice is pinched. She’s nervous._

_‘Okay,’ the look in her eyes is unsettling, it makes me nervous. I humor the crazed woman, despite my reluctance. ‘Let’s hear it.’_

_Her mouth opens but no words come out. The struggle makes me uncomfortable. Somehow I know that this won’t be good._

_‘In one human religion, when a person dies they go to one of two places. Heaven or Hell, depending on the choices they made in their life. Heaven is paradise and Hell is, well, it’s Hell.’_

_My nerves make my stomach churn, I can sense where this is going. ‘I’m familiar with the concept.’_

_‘Well, in that religion, if a person kills themselves they lose all rights to Heaven. No matter how good of a person they were, no matter what choices they made, they’re going to Hell.’_

_She stops to watch my expression and I struggle to hide my surprise. The shame in her strange green eyes is clear to see, but she continues. ‘I wanted to know if it’s the same for drell. If someone kills themselves are they still welcomed by Kalahira into the afterlife?'”_

Kolyat blinked and he returned to the present. Noticing the shocked expression on his father’s face, he placed a comforting hand on Thane’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. Quietly, he assured him, “She’ll get better now that you’re here to help her.”

Shaking his head, Thane whispered, “She told me that she’d been suicidal, but I didn’t realize it had been so bad that she turned to you.” He knew Anya, knew why she’d ask Kolyat about Kalahira. She’d been seeking affirmation, the goddess’ permission to kill herself. If Kolyat had answered Anya with the truth Thane would have lost her forever.

Kolyat looked outside the window again and said, “It wasn’t like she could turn to anyone else.” Giving his father a sidelong glance, he sighed. “I was the only one she let in. Anya kept everyone at arm's length when she woke up.”

“Everyone? Even Garrus?”

“Especially Garrus.”

That was surprising. Garrus and Anya had always been so close. Thane would have guessed Anya would turn to the turian before anyone else. The only reason Anya would ever push him away was if he’d hurt her.“What did he do?” If Garrus had really hurt Anya in any way he would answer to Thane.

Shaking his head, Kolyat supplied, “Nothing. Or at least nothing that I’m aware of. She just woke up and wanted nothing to do with him. She started pushing him away more and more each day until he left with Tali for Rannoch. Eventually Garrus stopped trying altogether. They weren’t even talking the last few months he was on the Citadel.”

“That’s a shame,” Thane said thoughtfully as he contemplated what could have happened between the two friends. If it was nothing, like Kolyat was implying, then Thane had to find a way to convince Anya to mend the rift between her and Garrus. He wouldn’t sit back and watch the precious friendship they shared disintegrate into nothing. They were too important to one another.

Thane returned his attention to his son and gave the young man a soft smile. “But she had you, and you got her through the worst of it.” He stared at Kolyat, grateful for everything his son had done for his mate. Breathlessly, Thane said, “You could have just as easily left her to her own devices. She wasn’t your responsibility, it wasn’t your job to take care of her; but you did anyway.” Pulling Kolyat into his arms, Thane squeezed him tightly. “Thank you, Kolyat. I am grateful for what you’ve done for her and for me. I owe you a debt I will never be able to repay.”

Kolyat returned his father’s embrace. “You don’t owe me anything.” When they pulled apart he offered his father a reassuring smile and Thane was stunned by the sight of it. That was a genuine smile, honest and pure like Thane had never seen from his son before. Speaking above his father’s surprise, Kolyat explained, “She was the last connection I had to you. We helped each other.”

Thane was proud of the man Kolyat had grown into. He loved his son, would always love him no matter the circumstance; but Thane was now starting to see what Anya had tried to explain to him before. Kolyat was selfless. He was caring and compassionate. Underneath his terse and somewhat standoffish exterior lied a heart more gold than the sands of Rakhana.

“I am so proud of the man you have become, Kolyat.” He smiled at his son with all the adoration a father could possibly have for his offspring. “And your mother would be proud of you, too.”

Silence joined them for a moment as the two men stared at one another, imprinting this moment to their most treasured memories. A small smile twisted the corners of Kolyat’s mouth as he regarded his father. It was a loving expression, one that Thane hadn’t seen his son wear since he was a skinny wide-eyed child. His heart swelled at the sight of it, warmth and love filling his veins with a feeling he had almost forgotten.

Quietly Kolyat admitted, “When you died, I regretted the way I’d treated you. I was selfish and angry. You were trying to close the distance between us and I didn’t trust you enough to let you in completely. And then I thought I’d lost you for good.” Shaking his head, Kolyat rubbed his neck in that embarrassed fashion he had inherited from his mother. “But you’re back and now I can tell you that I forgive you.”

Thane blinked. Taken back by his son’s confession, he was stunned into silence. Nervously overlooking his father’s shocked expression, Kolyat continued. “Neither of us can take back what was done; but if I’ve learned anything from Anya, it’s the importance of family. You’re my father, and I love you. I’m willing to put the past behind me if you’re willing to try and be a family again.”

A happy grin started to inch across Thane’s lips. Since waking up from his battle-sleep that was all that he ever wanted. The distance between him and his son would have been a slow and painful death. The fact that Kolyat was willing to forgive him was further evidence of his maturity. He wanted to know this incredible man that Kolyat had grown into. Thane wanted to be the father he should have been from the start.

“I would love nothing more.”

*

She couldn’t stop pacing. The waiting was always the worst; almost worse than not knowing. Now she was in a state of both-- waiting and not knowing. Anxiety had a viselike grip on her chest, and Anya had to concentrate on her breathing to keep from going crazy.

The day had started out well enough. Cassandra took the phrase ‘make yourself at home’ to heart, and with Neelah and Oriana’s help she made everyone breakfast . There was the typical banter between Anya and her brother, the regular chaos of children running amuck, and then the addition of another sickeningly adorable young couple. 

It all went downhill when Anya announced that she and Thane were going to speak with the Council and then to the Dalatrass in regards to what had happened to him on Zorya.

“ _The Dalatrass?_ ” Michael had exclaimed, outrage pinching his tone. “ _And you didn’t think that was worth mentioning?_ ”

The night before she and Thane had exhausted their energy having amazing sex. Neither of them had gotten around to explaining what had happened to the rest of them. It had slipped their minds, and Anya didn’t have the time or energy to explain to them that the STG was responsible for bringing Thane back from the dead.

Now she was pacing the Presidium like a mad-woman, waiting for the Council to finish talking to Thane regarding what had happened to him. They’d excused her from  the investigation out of spite. They were still irked about her resignation, and now she had to wait outside for them to either call her back in or release her mate.

Anya could feel the curious stares from passers by. She knew she looked a little crazy. Her hair was a disarray of crimson, put out of place by how often she’d run her fingers through it. Her face felt as though she’d rubbed raw from how many times she’d dragged her hand over her features. Anya was a mess and the uncertainty was the cause.

What was being said behind those large seamless doors? Would the Council support the Dalatrass in her scientific venture and hand Thane over to her? Anya scraped her nails through her hair at the thought. What would she do if they did decide to give him to the Dalatrass? What could she do? Go rogue, steal him back, and live on the run? She’d just gotten Thane back, she couldn’t bear to lose him now.

Defeated, Anya collapsed onto a bench and buried her face in her hands. Anxiety and anger wrestled in the pit of her gut. Out here the situation was out of her hands. All she could do was wait for someone to let her in and tell her what was going on. Her helplessness was infuriating.

Maybe bringing Thane to the Council had been a mistake. She had faced worse things than the Dalatrass. Together, she and Thane could have handled it. When had getting politics involved actually helped her in the past? Anya couldn’t recall a single time.

“Spectre Shepard.” She peeled her face from her hands and looked up at the sound of her name. A turian C-Sec officer stood in front of her, brow plates furrowed with concern. When Anya met and held his gaze the officer decided against voicing the question on his features and instead informed her, “The Council will see you now.”

She shot up from the bench and muttered a quick “Thanks” before running towards the highly secured Council offices. Bursting into the room, Anya immediately located Thane and gave him a thorough once over. His expression was neutral, trained into place so his thoughts remained his own. She walked over and pulled him into her arms, fully aware that she was making a scene, but Anya didn’t have it in her to care.

The asari councilor cleared her throat and they pulled apart to face the Councilors. Anya’s previous anxiety returned, along with her anger. She wanted to know what was going on and what they intended to do with Thane, and she wanted to know now.

“Shepard,” the newly elected human councilor addressed her in a stern and professional manner. “We would like to thank you for bringing Mr. Krios to us.”

Beside him, the turian councilor nodded, “We were not aware of what the Dalatrass and the Salarian Task Group were doing on Zorya.”

“We can assure you,” the salarian councilor continued, “everything that was done to Sere Krios was done without our knowledge and without our consent.”

Anya bit back her anger for a moment, knowing that it wouldn’t get her anywhere with them. Glancing briefly at Thane, she returned her attention to the Council and wondered, “What exactly did she do to Thane?”

“We don’t know,” said the asari councilor.

The turian councilor interjected, “But we intend to find out.”

As if on cue the doors behind them opened and the Dalatrass entered the meeting room. She walked the length of the room until she was standing proudly on the risen podium, as though she were standing trial, which Anya assumed was the case.

“Dalatrass,” the salarian councilor addressed her, his tone was firm and his expression was harsh. “The facility and project you funded on Zorya was neither approved nor condoned by the Council.”

The human councilor straightened his back and said in a commanding voice, “We want to know what exactly has been done to Mr. Krios, and why it was done in private.”

The look that the Dalatrass gave Anya was cutting. She was obviously upset that Anya had turned to the Council, and Anya didn’t care. Yeah, she’d told on the salarian woman. She was threatening to take Thane away from her. There wasn’t a low that Anya wouldn’t stoop to in order to keep her mate by her side.

Returning her attention to the Council, the Dalatrass replied, “It was a time of war. All of our resources should have been aimed at defeating the Reapers. Sere Krios sacrificed his life to save yours during the Cerberus coup,” she said to the salarian councilor, “and I took it upon myself to return the favor. Finding the cure to Kepral’s Syndrome was a personal project. And I didn’t think it was pertinent to involve you at the time.”

“Whether or not something is pertinent enough to involve us is not your decision to make, Dalatrass.” The turian councilor reprimanded. “Building a secret facility on a Blue Sun occupied planet, employing dozens of scientists, and taking test subjects warrants our attention.”

“Of course, Councilor,” said the Dalatrass with an apologetic bow of her head. Straightening back up she addressed the first part of the councilor’s question. “As for what was done to Sere Krios,” she shook her head. “All information on the project was erased when Cerberus attacked the facility. we would need to take blood and lung tissue samples, and perform various tests in order to rediscover what cured his Kepral’s Syndrome.”

The asari councilor lifted her chin, displeasure in her eyes as she asked, “Why would Cerberus attack your facility in the first place. What would humans want with a cure to a drell sickness?”

Rubbing her brow with a sigh, the Dalatrass answered, “In order to find a cure to Kepral’s we had to explore every option available. Dr. Mordin Solus had forwarded information in regards to the Lazarus Project and the beneficial effects it had in bringing the Commander back from the dead. Of course we applied that science into developing the cure, and when Cerberus found out they retaliated.”

Brow plates reaching for his fringe, the turian councilor looked about as convinced as Anya felt. “And you say you don’t know what exactly was done to him?”

“I don’t,” the Dalatrass’ tone turned defensive. “I know what routes we considered taking, and what sciences we considered using, but there’s no way to know for sure what exactly was done to Sere Krios until we’ve performed the necessary tests.”

The councilors were silent for a moment before they excused themselves to discuss how they intended to proceed. They cleared the room, leaving Anya and Thane under the Dalatrass’ burning glare. Ignoring the agitated salarian, Anya turned her attention to her mate.

“How are you?” she asked, taking his hand into hers and bringing his knuckles to her lips. Anya knew she was being ridiculous, but Thane was her mate and it was her job to protect him; a job she intended to never fail again.

A small smile twisted the edges of his mouth as his dark gaze regarded her. The light streaming in through the large windows made the green of his eyes bright. “I’m fine, Siha,” When Anya returned their interwoven hands to their sides, his expression fell, “Though I have a feeling that the true excitement hasn’t yet begun.”

Anya huffed in agreement, throwing the Dalatrass a quick glare. Before anymore conversation could be voiced, the doors opened and the Council reentered the conference room. Taking their places at the elevated platform before addressing their anxious audience.

The salarian councilor’s gaze went to the Dalatrass and he said, “Dalatrass, in wake of your failings to inform this Council of your efforts to find a cure for Kepral’s Syndrome, and the lives that were lost because you kept this information from us, we are striking your name and involvement in finding the cure from all records.”

The Dalatrass’ jaw fell, her already wide eyed gaze widened even more with shock. Unable to properly form a sentence she began to stutter, “You what? You can’t be serious.”

“We are,” the turian councilor’s tone was unbending. 

Shaking her head, the Dalatrass argued, “But it worked.” She gestured towards Thane and Anya took a step in front of him in response. “He’s alive and Kepral’s free. My scientists died to make that happen.”

“And their sacrifices won’t be in vain,” the human councilor informed her.

The asari councilor continued, “We intend to fully explore what was done to Sere Krios and replicate the results.”

“You need me,” the Dalatrass insisted.

“Do we?” the turian councilor asked then shook his head in answer of his own question. “You’ve already stated that you don’t know for sure what exactly was done to him. As far as we are concerned you’ve already done your part. We can take it from here.”

The Dalatrass’ mouth opened and closed as she tried to find an argument that would change the Council’s mind. When she couldn’t find one defeat deflated her posture and she bowed in acceptance of their decision. “Very well, Councilors.”

“Thank you,” the salarian councilor said. “You are dismissed.”

Anya watched in disbelief as the Dalatrass gathered herself and shuffled out of the room. A mixture of satisfaction and concern boiled in her belly. At least with the Dalatrass Anya had known the woman’s intentions. That wasn’t the case when it came to the Council. She didn’t know what they intended to do with Thane, and that made her nervous.

“Mr. Krios,” the human councilor addressed her mate. “We would like to initiate study on what was done to you in order to cure your Kepral’s Syndrome.”

“But,” the asari councilor interjected, “we will only do so with your permission.”

Anya gazed at Thane, watching as several emotions shadowed the edges of his features. He was silent for a moment as he thought, his expression slowly hardening as he became resolute. 

Glancing quickly at Anya, he lifted his gaze toward the Council and said, “I understand my responsibility to my people to do my part in finding the cure. But,” his gaze returned to Anya, “I also have a responsibility to my mate and to my son. I would like to give them as normal a life as possible, which I can’t do if I spend the rest of my life as a test subject in a lab. Were it possible to do both, I would be more than happy to assist my people in finding the cure to Kepral’s.”

“We can make that happen, Sere Krios.” The salarian councilor assured him.

Bowing his head, Thane replied, “Then you have my permission to initiate the study on what was done to me.”

“Fantastic,” the turian councilor’s mandibles flared with satisfaction. “If it is alright with you we would like to begin immediately.”

Thane glanced towards Anya, awaiting her permission to go along with them. When she replied with a curt nod, he returned his attention to the Council and they said, “Report to Huerta Memorial Hospital so that we may begin.”

Thane bowed deeply before saying, “Thank you Councilor’s.” Taking Anya by the hand he led her out of the conference room and back onto the Presidium. As the doors shut behind them, Thane pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers. There was an infectious elation that seeped off of him in waves, communicating directly into Anya’s soul. Thane was happy, he was hopeful and excited and Anya couldn’t help but feel the same.

When they pulled apart a large grin expanded across his lips, revealing his perfectly aligned teeth and luringly elongated canines. Anya was lost to that smile with no hope of returning. “We’re going to stay together, Siha.” He stroked back her hair and kissed the tip of her nose, his grin never leaving his lips. “I can help my people and keep my family too.”

She couldn’t help but return his grin. It was rare that the typically reserved man in front of her demonstrated such powerful emotion. Anya was going to enjoy every second of seeing that heart stopping grin on his full lips. Stroking the arch where his ribbing met the scales of his cheekbone, she replied, “Talk about having your cake and eating it too.” Her smile grew. “I love you, Thane Krios, and I’m glad that I don’t have to kidnap you from the Council in order to keep you with me.”

“As am I, Siha.” Thane leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. They lingered like that for a beat, lost in each other and to the moment of happiness. When Thane straightened back up he wrapped her hand in his and started for the elevator. 

Anya fell into step beside her mate and rested her head on his shoulder as they walked. Keeping her gaze on the people around them, she was content to quietly watch their surroundings as they made their way to Huerta. 

As her gaze scoped the faces around them, her heart leapt into her throat before taking on a full sprint. She immediately recognized the volumus dark brown hair on the tall man of medium build walking some feet in front of them. 

Noticing her sudden change, Thane glanced down at Anya before following her gaze. His expression fell then hardened as he recognized the man she was staring after. He loosened her fingers from his before stalking his prey. Anya was familiar with the dark expression that now shadowed Thane’s features. That look alone could kill a Harvester, and its murderous intentions were directed at Kaidan.

Anya made sure that no one was watching them as she followed quickly after Thane, hoping to catch him before he made himself a wanted man and ruined everything they’d accomplished today. Her feet couldn’t carry her fast enough without drawing everyone’s attention. All she could do was watch as Thane closed in on Kaidan.

Thane approached from the rear, his shoulders were tense with single minded fury. Checking and then grabbing Kaidan’s shoulder, the second human Spectre didn’t have even a second before Thane’s arm slithered around Kaidan’s neck and constricted.Kaidan noiselessly gasped in protest as Thane dragged him into the shadows, and Anya followed wordlessly behind.

Gripping Kaidan by the jaw with his free hand, Thane’s gravely voice growled, “I was hoping I’d run into you, Major Alenko.” He spun Kaidan around and shoved him into the wall. When Kaidan summoned his biotics to retaliate Thane’s hand shot out between them like a striking viper, tightly gripping Kaidan by the neck.

“Thane,” Kaidan gasped out, his hands grasping at Thane’s grip as though to loosen it. “I thought you were dead.”

Thane inched his face closer to Kaidan’s, imposing and threatening in a way that set Anya’s blood on fire. “I got better,” the threat sounded in the undertones of Thane’s hushed voice. “Unfortunately for you.”

“What do you want?” Kaidan tried to move under Thane’s grasp, only to grunt in pain when Thane’s grip tightened.

“An apology.”

Confusion furrowed Kaidan’s features as he regarded the menacing drell before him. “An apology,” he coughed out, “for what?”

Thane glanced at Anya, directing Kaidan’s attention to their enraptured audience of one. When Kaidan finally noticed her standing there his brown eyes widened with surprise. His lips sealed tightly shut and, as he returned his gaze to Thane, defiance burned in the creases of his features.

Tilting his head, Thane’s large black eyes bore into Kaidan. The air around him vibrated as Thane growled like a feral animal. “You know what I am, Kaidan; but do you know how many ways I can kill you right now? Do you realize how easy it would be?” 

When Kaidan’s silence remained unwavering, Thane went on to say. “There are seven vertebrae in your neck, it would take only the slightest amount of pressure for me to dislocate a single one. Have you any idea how delicate your exposed spinal cord is?”

Kaiden blinked, wheezing what little oxygen back into his lungs he could. “Alright,” he coughed out. Looking towards Anya, Kaidan gritted, “I’m sorry, Shepard.”

“For what,” Thane’s grip on his neck went even tighter.

Uselessly grasping at Thane’s hand, Kaidan tried to make enough room to suck in a deeper breath. “I’m sorry for taking advantage of you. I got you drunk and slept with you. You weren’t ready, I knew that and I did it anyway. It was wrong.” He threw an angry glance at Thane before he finished. “Please forgive me.”

Thane grunted, still unsatisfied. He peered over his shoulder to where Anya stood. His large dark eyes stared into hers, imploring her permission to either kill him or let him go. Whatever happened to Major Alanko next was up to her, Thane was only her eager and powerful weapon to see her desires carried out.

Moving her gaze from Thane’s to where Kaidan was helplessly pressed against the wall, Anya let out a long sigh. To the Major she said, “I accept your apology, Kaidan.” She then returned her attention to her mate and smiled at him. “Let him go, my love. He isn’t worth it.”

Thane bowed his head, acknowledging her command, and then pointed his glare back at Kaidan. He tightened his grip and growled, “If you come near my mate, or if the mere thought of her even crosses your mind, I will kill you.” Shoving Kaidan into the wall, Thane released him before he turned on his heel and draped an arm around Anya’s shoulders.

The smile that now covered her lips was sultry. She wove her fingers through his and grinned up at her mate. “I have to say, Krios,” his gaze dipped down to meet hers, a smirk twitching at the corners of his lips. “That was the sexiest thing I have ever seen in my entire life.”

His fingers squeezed hers and a chuckle rumbled from his chest. “And it’s still not the sexiest thing in my arsenal, Siha.”

“When we get home, you’re going to have to show me what exactly that is.”

“It would be my pleasure.” He pulled her closer against him and pressed his lips to her crown. Anya smiled happily as she allowed Thane to lead them to Huerta, grateful to any and every god for returning him to her arms.


	29. Chapter 29

The cold hospital air was giving her goosebumps, and the strong smell of antiseptic was making her nose itch. Around her, the din of the active hospital hummed in the background of her thoughts. Anya peered through the glass as she watched the nurse take yet another blood sample from Thane. If they kept it up they were going to bleed him dry.

“Commander,” a soft voice pulled Anya from her thoughts and stole her attention. As she turned her gaze from the window she found a familiar doctor standing beside her. A friendly smile curled the corners of Dr. Chloe Michel’s lips, brightening her features. “I didn’t expect to ever see you here again.”

“You and I both, Doc,” muttered Anya with a flippant smile. Pointing the doctor’s attention through the glass towards the handsome drell seated on the examination table, she explained “My selfless mate is subjecting himself to tests and needles to help his people.” With a sigh, Anya admitted, “I’m just here for moral support.”

Dr. Michel arched an eyebrow and wondered, “Which you’re doing from all the way out here?”

Shrugging, Anya wiped an imaginary speck from her cheek and answered, “They kicked me out.” She glanced over to the doctor in time to catch Chloe’s surprise. With a smile, she revealed, “I was asking a lot of questions and getting in the way. At least I still have front row seats.”

“Well if it’s questions you have, I can do my best to answer some for you.” When Anya turned to face the doctor head on, the question obvious in her eyes, Dr. Michel supplied, “He’s your mate?” Anya nodded. A small smile tugged at her lips, “Then legally speaking you’re his primary emergency contact. I need to debrief you anyway.”

Glancing over her shoulder, to where Thane was speaking to a doctor, Anya watched him for a moment before returning her attention to Dr. Michel. She offered Chloe a friendly simper before asking, “Alright Doc, what’ve we learned about Thane’s condition?”

Chloe looked down at her datapad and twiddled with the device until she found the information she was looking for. Without meeting Anya’s gaze she started, “It’s incredible, really. I mean, I could imagine that bringing someone back from the dead is extensive work.” She did look up then, and gave Anya a small waning smile, “You died twice on the way here from ground zero; bringing you back and keeping you alive was no walk in the park. So I know firsthand that it couldn’t have been easy.”

“Anyway,” the doctor shook her head, shooing the irrelevant thoughts from her mind so she could continue with her explanation. “Through our preliminary tests we’ve discovered that Thane’s lungs are his lungs.” To the question that lifted Anya’s brows, Chloe answered, “They aren’t from a donor or artificial. The lung tissue is his, only healthy and Kepral’s free.”

Expression furrowing, Anya asked, “How is that possible?”

“We’re still undergoing several tests, and there’s no way to know for sure until those tests are complete. But we have a theory.” Anya crossed her arms and waited silently for the good doctor to get on with it. If she’d learned anything about Dr. Michel it was that the woman had a soft spot for flare and suspense. 

Noting the impatience in Anya’s features, Chloe went on, “Several years ago there was a salarian doctor on the Citadel by the name of Dr. Saleon.”

“I remember,” Anya interrupted. “Garrus told me about him. Wasn’t he selling organs illegally through the black market?”

Chloe nodded, “Dr. Saleon would employ poor and desperate people and use them as living test tubes. He’d clone and grow spare organs right inside of their own bodies until they were ready to be harvested.”

Rubbing a hand over her face, Anya nodded for the doctor to continue. She remembered the story, and knew how it ended. She and Garrus had hunted the doctor down where she’d allowed Garrus to finish what he had started years ago. 

Gesturing with her hand, Anya asked, “What does that have to do with Thane?”

“When Dr. Saleon discovered that he had been found out, he destroyed his lab and fled from the Citadel. We’d assumed that his research had died with him, but as it turns out we were wrong.” Chloe’s bluish green eyes went to where Thane was behind the glass. She watched him closely as she said, “From what we can tell, it looks like Dr. Saleon’s science was mixed with Cerberus’ Lazarus Project, with the addition of a few other relatively new advances in medical science, and vuala; Thane’s Kepral’s is cured.”

Anya stared at the other woman for a moment, still not completely able to grasp what Dr. Michel was trying to say. “Explain it to me like I’m five, Doctor.”

An amused smile curled the other woman’s lips and she tried to explain it again. “The scientists that brought Thane back from the dead were using the most advanced science available. The science in the Lazarus Project appears to be able to regenerate dead or damaged cells. Once his cells had been repaired it would have been logical to use micromachines to deliver superdrugs and gene therapy directly to his tissue, which would have then been cloned.”

“Logically,” Anya replied as she pinched the bridge of her nose. There was a reason she had joined the military instead of going to med-school. She didn’t really understand anything the doctor had said, but it sounded good and Anya was willing to trust doctor Chloe Michel with her mate’s life. 

A soft laugh sounded from Dr. Michel and she said, “In layman's terms: they fixed Thane’s body before cloning his lungs and repeating the process, until the cloned tissue had no traces of Kepral’s Syndrome. When the tissue came back clean, they set the perfectly healthy lungs into the perfectly healthy body and now you and Thane can live happily ever after and run away into the sunset.”

“Dr. Michel,” Anya teased, “I had no idea that you were such a romantic.”

Laughing, Chloe shook her head. She turned towards the window and watched the nurses and Thane for a moment before commenting, “Of course that’s all just speculative until the test results come back and we know for sure.”

Anya followed the doctor’s stare and met Thane’s gaze through the window. Offering her mate a smile, she said to Dr. Michel, “It sound’s like you know for sure already.”

“The only thing I know for sure is that Thane is the only hope for dozens of drell.” She glanced at Anya. “It’s almost poetic that you two would end up together.” After a quiet moment of thought a small smile hinted on her features and Chloe shrugged nonchalantly. “Maybe I am a romantic.”

Biting her lip, Anya turned around and leaned her back on the glass. Her gaze was on watching the nurses and patients scurry to and fro in Huerta’s halls, wondering where they were going or who they were visiting. After a second she finally spit out, “I never got a chance to thank you, doctor.”

Chloe’s attention snapped toward Anya, the unasked question glowing in her eyes.

Without allowing the doctor to voice her question, Anya continued. “I know I wasn’t easy to deal with while I was here. I was in a dark place. I was angry and sad, and it was easier to take it out on you and your staff than it was for me to face my problems.” She gave the doctor beside her a sidelong glance and said, “I was a pain in the ass, and you put up with me day in and day out for months. I never thanked you for that. I never thanked you for not letting me die, and not giving up on me.”

Pushing herself off of the window, Anya rolled her shoulders and straightened her back. She turned to face the speechless doctor and offered her a weak smile before saying, “Thank you, Dr. Michel. I owe you my life and I’ll never be able to repay you.”

Actual tears began to rim Chloe’s eyes and her chin started to tremble. With a laugh she wiped away the moisture that had fallen onto her cheeks and said, her voice thick with emotion, “You don’t owe me anything, Shepard. It was my duty and my pleasure to help you.” A large grin traced along her lips and another laugh burst from her. “And if you want to repay me, start by living a long happy life with that man right there.” She pointed through the window towards Thane.

Anya followed the direction of Chloe’s pointed finger and allowed a soft smile to twist the corners of her mouth. Glancing at the doctor, she admitted, “I think I can do that.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear it.” Dr. Michel wrestled her grin down to a small smile. Glancing down at the datapad in her grasp she said, “They should be just about done with Thane. As soon as he’s ready you both are free to go.”

“Thank you, Dr. Michel,” Anya smiled warmly at the woman. “For everything.”

Nodding, Dr. Michel waved at Thane through the window and excused herself to continue with her rounds. Anya watched her go, something inside of her feeling a bit lighter now that she’d finally gotten around to thanking the doctor. If Chloe wanted Anya to live a happy life with Thane as repayment, then it was the least that Anya could do.

*

“You’re all set, Mr. Krios,” said the polite asari nurse after securing a bandage to the inner crook of his arm.

Sliding off of the examination table, Thane bowed his head in gratitude and said, “Thank you, nurse. I’ll see you again next week.” She left him with a smile and he used the time to collect his clothes from the seat that had been Anya’s. Tugging his coat back on, Thane stepped out of the room and found Anya waiting patiently for him in the hall.

“How did it go?” She asked as he approached her.

Wrapping her up in his arms, Thane answered, “It wasn’t anything terribly invasive.”

Anya laughed softly as she commented, “You almost sound disappointed by that.”

“Maybe a little.” As they started walking towards the exit he asked, “What were you and Dr. Michel discussing?”

“What was done to you on Zorya.” The smile she offered him was heartwarming and he returned it with a kiss to the tip of her nose. “She says that the theory is that you’re alive and kicking thanks to nanomachines and cloning technology.”

Thane considered the theory for a moment. “That sounds extensive.”

With a shrug, Anya agreed. “That’s the word she’s using.” She wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed herself against his side. Smiling up at him she stated, “I don’t really care for the details, just as long as you’re healthy.”

He kissed the top of her head, and they travelled the rest of the way in relative silence. Stopping briefly at the rapid transit terminal, they took the fast way home. After exchanging quick and pleasant greetings with the attendant at the door, he and Anya returned to their apartment to find that the place appeared to have a party in full swing. Laughter and shouts sounded through the door and he and Anya shared a curious glance before entering their home.

“Grandpa, Grandpa, Grandpa,” Mika’s voice shouted through the apartment as they boy ran from the office to the entertainment center.

“Grandpa?” Anya asked as she kicked off her shoes and looked around.

Thane’s curious gaze also scanned over their apartment until he locked gazes with an older woman with silver threaded auburn hair and spring green eyes. Her resemblance to Anya was unquestionable, and Thane immediately recognized Anya’s mother.

“Admiral, darling,” the woman called towards the entertainment center. “Your daughter’s finally home.”

“Mom,” Anya ran the distance between her and her mother and wrapped her arms around the older woman’s neck. “What are you doing here?”

A tall and imposing man stepped out of the entertainment center with Mika tossed over his shoulder like a sack, and located his wife and daughter embracing in the kitchen. “What are we doing here?” He’s roaring voice laughed out. “Better question is why didn’t you let us know you found your brother and have been keeping him hostage here?”

Anya’s face flushed to a bright red color. “It was supposed to be a surprise,” she said, even though Thane knew that the truth was that it had slipped their minds. He and Anya had been caught up by the excitement regarding the Kepral’s cure. They’d forgotten completely to contact her parents and let them know what was going on.

“Not only that,” Hannah’s smile brightened as she walked over to where Thane still stood at the entrance, and pulled him into her arms. “Thane’s alive and you didn’t bother to let us know that either.”

Rubbing a hand over her burning face, Anya mumbled, “It looks like we’ve got some catching up to do.”

“I’d say,” Michael entered the kitchen from the office, his daughter hoisted on his hip.

Releasing Hannah from his embrace, Thane looked down at the older woman and gave her a warm smile. “It’s good to see you again, Admiral Shepard.”

“Hannah will do just fine, Thane. You are family afterall.” She patted his arm and smiled up at him. “And it’s good to see you too.”

“Shepard,” Oriana’s voice called out as the young woman came down the stairs. She stopped short at the landing when she noticed that she had Anya, Admiral Michael, Hannah, Michael, and Cassandra’s undivided attention. Stepping the rest of the way down the steps, she stammered out, “Kolyat and I were going to take Neelah and Niall out to the arcade.” Glancing over the Shepard family whose attention was still on her, she continued, “I was going to ask if you wanted us to pick up dinner before we came back.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Admiral Michael Shepard said, waving his hands as though the lot of them were losing their minds. “You kids aren’t going anywhere. I’m calling for a family meeting.”

Thane and Anya caught sight of Oriana’s terrified expression at the same time. A smile tried to pull at his lips and he fought it back as Anya addressed her father. “Dad, please, they were just starting to get used to my craziness. Let’s ease them into the Shepard lunacy, before we scare them off.”

Admiral Michael’s laughter sounded like thunder through the apartment. “You don’t tiptoe into the crazy pool, Annie, you dive right in. You know that.”

Rubbing her brow, Anya sighed, “I know that, Dad, but let’s make an exception just this once. They’ll attend the next family meeting. Won’t you, Ori?” She looked to Oriana and the girl nodded quickly. “Get out of here before my family puts it to a vote.”

“Now there’s an idea,” commented Michael as he gave Oriana a playful wink.

“Come on, children.” Admiral Michael strode over to the entertainment center, carrying Mika along with him until he set him down in order to claim a seat.

Anya and Hannah shared a look before both women smiled and shook their heads. Looping her arm through Cassandra’s the women followed the admiral into the entertainment room, with Michael and Thane trailing behind. 

They found their seats in the entertainment center. The admirals sat together on the sofa in front of the fireplace. Michael and Cassandra strode over to the couch parallel to the bar, which was where Anya was heading. The look she gave Thane translated directly into, ‘ _I’m definitely going to need a drink to get through this_.’

Admiral Michael’s gaze scanned over his family. Placing a hand on his wife’s knee they shared a look before he pointed his attention towards Anya and started their family meeting. “First and foremost, we would like to thank you for having us over.”

“Your home is lovely, by the way,” Hannah interjected.

“Thank you,” Anya replied with a smile. Clearing her throat, Thane could feel her discomfort emanating from her in waves. “And, while we’re on the topic. Where will you both be staying while you’re visiting the Citadel?”

“Here,” was Admiral Michael’s casual reply. 

Hannah swatted her husband’s shoulder before assuring her daughter, “We have a hotel room, sweetheart. Don’t worry, we know how stuffed you all are in here.”

“Alright, back to business” Anya’s father leaned back into the couch and sighed. Pointing his attention towards Thane, he trapped him underneath his authoritative gaze. “How long have you been alive?”

Thane straightened his back before answering the admiral. “I’ve been conscious for a little over a year now, Sir.”

Admiral Michael’s gaze moved from Thane to Anya and then to where Michael and Cassandra were seated across the room. When his son shrugged with a less than helpful, “it’s a long story,” he rubbed his chin and waved for them to get on with it. 

“Alright,” the admiral said. “Let’s hear it.”

Thane, Michael, and Cassandra took turns in the recalling of what had happened since Thane woke up, up until they arrived on the Citadel. Thane recounted his employment at the Artacus inn only to have Cassandra take over the story when he got to where they’d met in the market. 

Michael remembered his recruitment by the Blue Suns into fixing the mass relay, and Thane and Cassandra both explained how the Sloan and the Blue Suns harassed the Zorian population, burned Neelah’s shop to the ground, and then killed Dacia. From there the rest of the story was fairly easy to tell, with their plan to infiltrate the base, kill Neve, and then evacuate Zorya.

Anya joined the explanation when they got to the part where she and Thane took on the Blue Suns, both unaware that the other was alive, their reunion, and then Anya’s reunion with Michael and his family. They explained their brief, yet eventful, exploration of the science facility Thane had woke up in, and then from there they told the admirals about their travels to the Citadel, Thane and Anya’s encounter with the Dalatrass, their meeting with the Council, and then what they’d learned from the tests Thane was now a part of.

The entire explanation took the better part of three hours to get through. By the end of it, Michael was on his fourth beer, Mika was on the floor playing with his model ships, and baby Ana was passed out in her grandmother’s arms. The admirals, who had been quietly listening to the story, shared a long measured look.

Admiral Michael turned his attention to his son and observed, “I thought your excuse for not joining the military had been that you wanted a _normal_ life.” He glanced to his wife and asked her, “Does that sound like a normal life to you?”

Hannah shook her head, “Not to me, dear.”

“Me neither.”

“Dad,” Michael groaned and agitatedly combed his fingers through his auburn hair. “Please don’t start this now.”

“I’m not starting anything,” the expression that came over Admiral Michael’s face was of an innocent man being wrongfully accused. “I was just making an observation.”

Michael gave his mother a pleading look. “Mom.”

Shaking her head, Hannah patted her husband on the back and said, “Stop picking on your son, dear.”

Defeated, Admiral Michael gave his son a scolding look. “You can’t hide behind your mother’s skirts forever, Son.”

“No,” Cassandra stepped in and returned the admiral’s scolding look with a reprimanding one of her own. “But he can hide behind mine, Admiral.”

Michael grinned happily at his wife and gave her a grateful kiss on the cheek. When he returned his attention to his father there was a victorious gleam to his pine green eyes. “Looks like you’ve met your match, old man.”

“It would appear so,” Admiral Michael sighed discontentedly before shaking his head and moving his attention to his daughter. “How were you able to participate in the Council’s meeting with Thane if you retired your Spectre status?”

Anya and Thane shared a look before she shrugged and replied, “Thane and I are mated. I have a right to know what’s going to happen to him.”

“Mated?” Hannah, Cassandra, and Michael all said simultaneously.

“When did that happen?” Michael asked the same time that Hannah inquired, “What does that mean?”

Anya addressed her brother first. “The night we came back from the Blue Sun base.” Then she turned to her mother and answered, “It means we’re stuck with each other until one of us dies.”

Hannah’s mouth fell open, an expression that was mirrored across her family’s faces. Thane quietly watched as all hell broke loose, and smirked softly to himself as he left it to Anya to dispel the situation.

“Seriously, Banana,” Michael threw his hands up in exasperation. The look he gave his sister was incredulous. “And you didn’t think that it was important to share that information with your _family_?” 

Anya shrugged, “It slipped my mind, okay?” She glanced at Thane, hoping to gain his support in defending against her brother. “It’s been an eventful couple of days. Sorry.”

“Save it, Banana.” Standing, Michael walked over to Thane and gave him firm handshake before tugging him into a breath stealing hug. “Welcome to the family. I’ve always wanted a brother; it’s just a shame that I still have to keep my sister.” When Anya gasped at the jibe he gave her a glibbful smile. “She’s your problem now, Krios.”

“Thank you, Michael.” Thane grinned, trying and failing to suppress the mirth bubbling inside of him. Pulling Anya against him, he admitted, “She is a problem I am glad to have.”

“Wait,” Hannah shook her head as though she were trying to clear it. “You’re married?”

“No,” Anya quickly replied almost like the mere thought was cause to shudder. “We’re mated, Mom. It’s different; more meaning, less ceremony.”

Hannah gave her a doubtful look. “More meaning than actually having a ceremony?”

“We don’t need a ceremony.” Anya tried to defend herself against the displeased look that Hannah was boring into her. “Thane and I love each other; we mated as a symbol between the both of us. We don’t need to exchange vows in front of a crowd in order to make that love any more real.”

“Honey,” Hannah shook her head as though Anya couldn’t possibly comprehend the severity of the situation. “You’re under the misconception that it would be for you. I’ve been planning your wedding since the moment I found out you were going to be a girl.”

Admiral Michael’s brows furrowed. Wrapping an arm around his wife’s shoulders, the look he gave his daughter was of profound disappointment. “You hear that? You weren’t even born and she was planning this moment for you. Are you really going to deny this to your one and only mother, who raised you and loves you?”

“Oh, gods.” Dragging a hand down her face, Anya moaned, “I’m going to need a drink.”

“Yeah, Banana,” Michael threw his lot in with their parents, a goading grin on his lips as he said, “It’s the only thing mom has ever wanted. How could you be so heartless?”

Walking around the bar, Anya reached for the nearest bottle of whisky and poured some for herself. Right as she stopped pouring Cassandra said, “You’d make a beautiful bride, Anya,” and Anya picked the bottle back up and poured herself some more.

She looked up at Thane and asked, “You want one?” When he shook his head, Anya added even more whisky to her cup, “Then I’ll have yours.”

“You have to let me plan it, Anya,” Cassandra insisted, “I’ve always wanted to plan a wedding.” She then turned to Hannah and swooned, “Green orchids and baby’s breath as the center pieces, green napkins, and emerald emblazoned silverware to match her green eyes and Thane’s lovely scales. Can you imagine?”

Hannah nodded happily. “It can be a spring wedding, in a garden on Elysium.”

“No,” Anya insisted, “We’re not having a wedding. We don’t need one.” Looking toward Thane for his support, the glint in her eyes was pleading. “Tell them, Krios.”

Everyone’s attention fell onto him, and Thane straightened his back to support the weight of their gazes. Clearing his throat, he gave Anya an impish look and admitted, “I think a wedding would be a great idea.”

“See, Thane doesn’t want to --” Anya’s attention snapped back toward him, a look of pure disbelief and betrayal shadowing her features. “What did you just say?”

Hannah clapped happily. “There, it’s settled.” To the dumbfounded expression on her daughter’s face she assured, “You don’t have to worry about a thing, sweetheart. Cassandra and I will take care of all of the preparations.”

Clasping her eyes shut, Anya started to rub her temples as though warding off a migraine or forcing the memory of this conversation from her mind. “This isn’t happening,” she breathed. When she opened her eyes to find that it was in fact happening she glared at Thane with enough venom to drop a krogan. “You and I are going to have words, Krios; many, many angry words.”

“Mika can be the ringbearer,” Hannah and Cassandra were already plotting out the entire event, Soon they would be mapping out the seating arrangements. “And Ana’s too young to be the flower girl, but she’d look so spanking cute walking down that aisle.”

It was when Hannah said, “We should start looking at locations,” that Anya threw her hands up in defeat and stomped out of the room towards the office.

Before Thane could follow after her he was caught by both Michaels and the junior Shepard wondered, “You know how important the Shepard name is to our family, right?”

“Will you be taking Anya’s name,” the Admiral finished his son’s thoughts. “Or will she be taking yours?”

*

Rattling the poker chips, Anya watched as they fell through her loosened fingers then landed on the table. She knew she should have went with the kids to the arcade. This was what happened when her parents held family meetings. There was a lot of talking and then by the end of it she was getting married without even knowing how it happened. What did she do to deserve this?

She felt a movement behind her and a second later Thane was claiming the seat across from her. A smirk coiled his plush lips in response to the glare she gave him. Peeling her face off of the poker table, Anya pointed an accusing finger at her mate. “You’re a traitor, Thane Krios, and I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

A chuckle rumbled in his chest and Anya felt it in her bones. She ordered her giddy loins to cool it, reminding them that they were mad at that sexy man across from her. Damn him, and damn that panty dropping smirk.

“I thought we were going to have words,” he reminded her, his smirk spreading into a delicious grin. “ _Many, many, angry words_ , if I recall correctly.”

Tossing her poker chips onto the table, Anya growled, “I’d turn down the sass if I were you, Krios. I’ve killed men for less.” He simply snickered in reply, but made no further comment. When silence fell between them it was Anya who broke it. “You know, I could have really used your support back there.”

All amusement fled from Thane’s features. He regarded her with a thoughtful look before finally saying, “I happen to agree with your mother, Siha.”

“I don’t.” Exasperated, she tried to explain, “We don’t need to get married, Thane. We’re already mated. All that ceremony and crap, it boils down to us loving each other and deciding to spend the rest of our lives together. We’ve already done that. Why waste time and energy on an ordeal if we’ve already done the important part?”

He looked at her for a moment before a slight smirk hinted at the edges of his lips. “I’m a bit insulted that you’re so adamant against marrying me.”

“Stop it,” Anya gave him a scolding look. “It’s not like that and you know it.”

The hinted smirk finally surfaced on his lips where it settled for a second before disappearing again. Thane’s hand slid across the poker table until it found hers. Threading their fingers together, he said, “You’re mother’s right, you know?” To the furrowed look she gave him, he explained, “Getting married wouldn’t be about us. You and I have already made our promises to each other. We’re mated and bound to one another in a way that transcends symbolism. Our marriage would be for our friends and family. It would be so that all the people that care about you, that have seen you struggle and persevere against impossible odds, can see you be happily married off to the man you love.”

“Okay, but I’m just saying -- “

“ _I’m just saying_ ,” he interrupted her arguments. “You’ve claimed that you would do anything for your friends and family. One would think that marrying me would be included on that list; and that it would be one of the more pleasant things to suffer through.” Thane leaned forward and brought her knuckles to his lips. His dark gaze roamed up her arm until it locked with hers. “Would being my wife be so terrible?”

“No,” Anya sighed, accepting her swift and undeniable defeat. “Alright, alright, you win. I’ll let my mom have her wedding.”

His smile was bright in wake of his victory. It didn’t stay in place long as Thane moved on to the next matter of discussion. “Cassandra and your mother were asking me if I had any idea who my groomsmen would be.”

“Of course they were.”

Thane’s only acknowledgement of her comment was a quick smile. “I don’t have a great many friends, but I count Garrus among those few.” He watched as her feature’s fell.

Anya leaned back in her seat, her finger’s freeing from his as she did so. Placing her hands in her lap, she cleared her throat and looked away from his inquiring gaze. How could he have known about her feelings toward Garrus? Then it came to her, _Kolyat_. 

The young Krios must have told his father about how she and Garrus weren’t on speaking terms; and now she and Thane were going to have talk about it. When she got her hands on that boy she was going to teach him an old human saying. _Snitches get stiches_.

When her silence lingered too long, Thane pressed the issue. “Anya, what happened between the two of you?”

She shook her head, unable to answer him even if she wanted to. “I don’t know; nothing. I just, I can’t talk to him.”

“But why?” Thane insisted. She shrugged and he leaned in closer so that she wouldn’t be able to avoid his gaze. “You and Garrus have been close friends for years, Siha. You’ve bled and bantered together. You’ve dragged him through hell not once, not twice, but three times. That bond is too strong to be broken by ‘ _I don’t know -- I just can’t talk to him_ ’. Whatever issues you both are having, you owe it to each other to work through them. Your friendship is too important to be thrown away over platitudes.”

Anya stared at her mate for a moment, irritated and inspired all at the same time. She didn’t like being bossed around; but Anya knew that without Thane to push her, she and Garrus might never reclaim the friendship they’d once had.

After a second she let a smile come onto her lips. “I love it when you tell me what to do. Go on, do it again.”

“Get your exquisite backside upstairs.” His low, silky voice growled. “I want you naked and on the bed in five minutes.”

An excited grin spread like a wildfire across her lips. “Yes Sir, Mr. Krios.”

“Now, Mrs. Krios.”


	30. Chapter 30

Pulling up her knees, Anya wrapped her arms around her legs and shut her eyes as she felt the gentle tug of the brush gliding through her hair. She concentrated  on the feeling of Thane’s strong and steady fingers feeling the crimson strands as they were unknotted back to their silky shine. 

She could feel Thane’s contented humming vibrating the air behind her. He’d always had a fascination with her hair, with it’s color and texture. Thane enjoyed brushing it and Anya enjoyed the care with which he did it.

The brushing stopped and Thane set the comb down beside her on the bed. He moved her hair over her shoulder and placed a tender kiss on the lightly tanned skin exposed to him. Frowning softly, Anya whined, “Don’t stop.”

A light rumbling sounded from behind her as her mate chuckled. Pulling her hair into his grasp, Thane began to braid it the way Oriana had showed him. “I did not expect you to enjoy this so much, Siha.”

“What?” she snorted. “Being lovingly groomed by the most handsome man in the whole galaxy?” Anya glanced over her shoulder and gave Thane a playfully pained expression. “This is torture.”

“No worse than being consulted by Cassandra about wedding invitations, I hope.”

Anya groaned, “Now _that_ is torture,” and buried her head in the crook of her arm. “Who knew that there were so many shades of white?” Without dislodging her face from her arm, she asked, “Has she cornered you about your groomsmen again?”

Thane stifled his amusement with a smirk. “Not yet.”

“Have you already decided on who you’ll choose?”

“I have.” He tugged her hair as he tried to keep the silky strands from straying from his grasp. As Thane continued to braid her hair, he said, “Kolyat will be my best man -- “

“Obviously.”

“And then I will have Garrus, Michael, and Niall as my other groomsmen.”

She considered his choices for a moment, understanding the role each of his potential groomsmen had played in Thanes life. Each man had earned their place at Thane’s side in one way or another; and Anya had plenty of female friends that had done just the same. Too many, in fact. 

She couldn’t decide who she wanted to participate in this supposedly important ceremony. Cassandra was practically planning the entire thing, it would be wrong for Anya to not make her maid of honor, or at the very least one of the bridesmaids. But who else would fill the remaining three slots?

There was Jack, who’d been a great help while Anya had been wading through her depression. Liara and Tali had been with her from the start and were as good as her sisters. Kasumi had easily stolen a place in her heart. Oriana was more than Kolyat’s girlfriend, she was Anya’s friend and a close one at that. And then there was Traynor, Samara, hell, even James would agree to be a bridesmaid if she asked him to.

“I still haven’t decided, and I don’t know how.” She sighed into her arm before prying her face from its hiding place. There was a slight pull to her braid as Thane secured the end before it fell flat against her back. Turning her body to face the handsome drell seated behind her on the bed, Anya took in the sight of him and smiled. She didn’t think she’d ever tire of this carefree time they spent together.

Quiet, Thane regarded her warmly for a second. His large dark eyes examined her features and Anya smiled softly at the loving expression that settled on his face. “Who are your options?” he wondered.

Shrugging, Anya rebuked, “Who _aren’t_ my options?” She pulled her braid to her front and admired Thane’s handy work as she explained, “I didn’t realize how many female friends I have until now, or how important each of them are to me. There’s two bridesmaids for each of your groomsmen.”

“Perhaps you should let probability decide instead.” Thane fell backwards onto the bed and reached into the night stand drawer. Pulling free a notepad and a pen he began to write down each of the names that Anya had listed. He then tore the paper until each name was its own individual scrap. “Fold these,” he said as he pushed himself off of the bed and wandered into the closet.

Thane returned with Anya’s helmet in hand. He held it out in front of her, wordlessly instructing her to place the folded scraps of paper within. When she did, he gave the helmet a good shake before offering it to her again. Waggling his eyebrows, he encouraged Anya to start pulling names.

Reaching into her helmet Anya pulled free the first piece of paper that she felt. She hid it in her fist as she stated, “This is for the position of Maid of Honor.” Uncurling her fingers, She unfolded the paper and grinned at the name. “Jack.”

His full lips parted as Thane also grinned. “It will be interesting to see her in a dress.”

“If I can convince her to put one on,” Anya chuckled. Discarding the paper on the bed beside her, she reached back into the helmet to retrieve another name. She did that three more times until she ended up with Tali, Oriana, and Cassandra as her bridesmaids.

“And here I was almost hoping that I might pick James,” she laughed to herself before taking her helmet from Thane, clearing the scraps from their bed and throwing them away. When she replaced her helmet where it belonged stored with the rest of her armor, Anya looked back at her mate and wondered, “Are you up for lunch?”

“I am,” he returned her smile and followed her out of their room and towards the kitchen.

Deciding that she’d rather not prepare any food, Anya pulled the tupperware out from the fridge and shut the door; revealing a blue green scaled drell. A loud yelp tore from her as she nearly punched Kolyat in the throat. 

“What the hell, Kolyat!” She set the leftovers on the countertop as she took a moment to steady her racing heart.

A self-satisfied smirk twisted Kolyat’s lips as he stared down at Anya. “Did I scare you?” he teased.

“I’m not joking about the bell, Kolyat.” Anya irritably ripped the tupperware from the counter and tossed it into the microwave, before slamming the door shut. Punching in the time she started heating up the food and returned her glare to the smirking drell beside her. “Sneak up on me again and I’ll start stitching bells onto all of your clothes.”

His smirk grew into a grin but he didn’t address her threat. Striding to the bar stools around the counter, he joined his father and said, “Have either of you seen Oriana anywhere?”

When Anya shook her head it was Thane that answered his son’s question. “She left with Neelah a little while ago to go shopping.”

“Speaking of,” Kolyat inspected his father’s features closely as he wondered, “Has Niall spoken to the both of you yet?”

“No,” Thane replied. “In regards to what?”

Kolyat shook his head, “It’s not my place to say.” Turning in his bar stool he dragged a hand over the notches running along the top of his head. “I think I’m going to take the kid out to the arcade. It’s starting to get a little claustrophobic in this apartment.”

“That’s a great idea, Kolyat.” Cassandra’s voice sounded from the hall as she rounded the corner and joined them in the kitchen. Anya had to keep her eyes from rolling into the back of her head at the sight of the bridal magazines in her sister-in-law’s hands. “Mika’s starting to go stir crazy.”

Kolyat also noticed the magazines in Cassandra’s possession and grinned at Anya before climbing off of his seat and walking towards the office. “I’ll go get the kid ready,” he said over his shoulder as he disappeared into the hall.

As Kolyat left, Cassandra cornered Anya and started to flip through her carefully marked magazines. “So I wanted to run a few things by you before I placed orders on anything.” She placed a magazine on top of the counter and flipped through it until she landed on the page with embroidered table cloths. “What design speaks to you?”

“Speaks to me?” Anya glared at the page, not sure that she’d been driven crazy enough for inanimate objects to start talking to her. Rubbing the twitch from under her eye she inspected each table cloth, unable to tell the difference between any of them. To appease her insistent sister-in-law she pointed at one of them, not caring about any in particular. 

Cassandra looked down at the table cloth Anya was pointing to and frowned. Giving Anya a sidelong glance she wondered, “That one, you’re sure?”

Scoffing, Anya shook her head and shrugged, “They all look the same to me. If you think another one looks better, then by all means, order that one instead. You’re the one with a vision, Cas. I’m happy just showing up the day of.”

“Alright,” Cassandra sighed. She shut the magazine and gave Anya a threatening look. “I guess I’ll just have to ask your mother.”

She raised an eyebrow before shrugging off Cassandra’s pointed look. The corner of her mouth twitched into a smirk, and Anya consented, “That’s not a bad idea.” She offered her brother’s wife an apologetic pat on the shoulder. She couldn’t help her complete and utter disinterest in wedding related things. “Maybe we can pick out ceremonial side arms.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes and shook her head. With a slight chuckle she replied, “Only if you’ll pick out the table settings with me.”

Pursing her lips, Anya pretended to consider the offer. “We’ll schedule something after hell freezes over.”

“It could be sooner than you think.” Cassandra winked and left Anya and Thane to their lunch.

Removing plates from the cupboard Anya started to divvy up the steaming food from the tupperware. From behind her Thane observed, “It’s our wedding, Anya. Would it be so difficult to get involved in planning it?”

“Harder than you think, Krios.” Anya joined him at the counter and placed his plate in front of him. Grabbing each of them some utensils, she sat on the bar stool beside him and started to dig into the previous night’s lasagna. “They’re lucky I even agreed to a wedding in the first place. Picking out table cloths might be asking for a little too much.” 

Thane shook his head but didn’t try to argue his point any further. He was smart enough to recognize that it was a losing argument. He picked at his food, allowing a comfortable silence to join them. 

She watched him eat, suddenly feeling guilty about not putting more of an effort into planning her own wedding. Grinding her teeth, Anya fought with the part of herself that insisted that she throw in the towel, hunt Cassandra down, and beg to look at centerpieces and flower arrangements.

The rational -- or was it _ir_ rational -- part of her knew exactly what this sneaky drell was doing. Thane knew how his silence would make her feel, and what it would cause her to do. Thane knew exactly how to play her, and wasn’t afraid to do just that. He was acting innocent, as if he didn’t know what he was doing, but she knew better. If he wanted her to play a larger part in this wedding than just showing up, he was going to have to be much more persuasive than this.

Anya opened her mouth, about to scold Thane for trying to manipulate her into wedding planning, when Niall entered the kitchen. He paused at the sight of them, his mandibles flaring as he hesitated between leaving or talking. With a sigh, he decided on talking.

“Hey,” he said as he approached the counter where they were seated.

Thane set down his silverware. Giving the turian a thorough once over, he asked, “Is something the matter, Niall?”

Shaking his head, Niall answered, “No. Yes. Not really,” he rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “I need to talk to you.” He looked at Anya and added, “Both of you.”

Anya and Thane shared a furrowed look before they both returned their attention to the young turian in front of  them. It was Thane who said, “Very well, here we are.”

Niall scratched an imaginary itch on his temple as he tried to find his voice. After a resolute sigh, he spit out, “I think it’s time for Neelah and I to move on.”

*

Thane quietly observed Niall’s uncomfortable body language for a moment. Did he expect them to be upset with him for leaving? Glancing at Anya, he noticed the surprise in her emerald eyes before returning his attention to Niall. “Where will you go?”

His mandibles flared again. Niall’s subharmonics were vibrating with his discomfort and Thane was concerned to hear it. Why was Niall so nervous to speak to them about this? It was not as though he and Anya had expected Niall and Neelah to stay with them forever. They’d all known that at one point or another they would have to go their separate ways. It didn’t mean that they would lose touch, it only meant that they’d all have their space. There was nothing wrong with that.

“There are a few apartments up for rent in the Zakara wards,” Niall started.

Beside him, Anya commented exactly what Thane had been thinking, “That’s where Kolyat used to live before he moved in with me. They’re not terrible neighborhoods.” _But they aren’t exactly the best either_ , he knew she’d left out.

Niall nodded, gesturing that he and Kolyat had breached the subject before. “Kolyat helped me land a security job at Flux; and Neelah found work at the Citadel Embassies.”

“So you aren’t going far,” Anya observed, a smile inching across her lips. “For a second, you made it sound like you were going to run off into dark space and we’d never see you again.”

“No,” Niall chuckled. “Nothing quite that  dramatic.” His expression wasn’t as tight as it had been a moment ago, though there was still some discomfort in his features. “We just feel that it’s time that we get our lives moving. The apartment is full up already, we shouldn’t overstay our welcome.”

Shaking her head, Anya started to _tsk_ Niall’s words. “If you’re leaving it better be for a more legitimate reason than that. I may not know you as well as Thane and my brother’s family does, but you and Neelah have been a pleasure to have around. Overstaying your welcome isn’t reason enough to leave my nest, Niall.” 

She slid out of her seat and rounded the counter. Standing in front of the turian, she held him by the shoulders and offered him a large smile. “But starting a life with the woman you love is more than enough. If you need anything at all you know that we’re here for you.”

The hum of Niall’s subharmonics changed, now vibrating the air with his contentment and acceptance. “I know,” he replied, pulling Anya into an embrace. “Thank you for everything both of you have done for us. It won’t be forgotten.”

Anya waved off his gratitude as though it were unnecessary. Leaning back on the counter she crossed her arms in front of her chest and wondered, “When will you move out?”

Shrugging, Niall answered, “We still have to find the right place. I’m not sure how long that will take but I’m hoping to be out of your hair in less than a week.”

“That soon?” Thane picked up his and Anya’s plates and walked them to the sink and began to wash the dishes.

“The sooner the better,” commented Niall. To the slightly insulted expression that twisted Anya’s features he explained, “You have no idea how much I miss sleeping in my own bed.”

“No,” Anya rebuked, “I do.” Glancing at Thane she gave him a soft smile before returning her gaze to Niall and elaborating. “I was sleeping out of Huerta for months. I know what it’s like to miss my own bed and my own space. We understand, really, just don’t go too far. We need you for the wedding.”

“What?” Niall’s mandibles flapped with his confusion. 

Thane allowed a small smile to pull the corner of his mouth and nodded. “Niall, I was hoping that you would be one of my groomsmen. I don’t have many friends, but I consider you to be one.”

“I --” his amber eyes went from Thane to Anya then back to Thane. Coughing out his surprise, he said, “I would be honored.”

Before any of them could comment further Cassandra stuck her head into the kitchen and asked, “What’s that I hear about groomsmen?” Stepping all the way into the kitchen, she strode into their conversation and smiled excitedly at Anya and Thane. “Have you both already decided on who the wedding party will be?”

“We have,” Thane nodded.

As if pulling the paper from thin air, a small note pad appeared in her hands and Cassandra nodded for them to list off the names. “Well go on, I need to start picking out suits and dresses.”

When Anya and Thane had listed off their choices, Cassandra gazed up at both of them with tears in her eyes. “Really,” she wiped a stray tear from her cheek and her chin trembled as she tried to fight off the emotion that was obviously stronger than she was. “You want both Michael and I to participate?”

“Oh, come on, Cas,” Anya pulled her sister-in-law into a tight hug and pet back her long dark brown hair. “You’re planning the entire thing. The least I could do was make you a part of it.”

When Anya released Cassandra from their hug, she wiped away the rest of her tears and instructed, “You might want to let the rest of them know that their part of the wedding party, or that you’re getting married to begin with.” Her gaze then lifted to Thane before returning to Anya and narrowing. “Have you even bothered to let anyone else know that he’s alive?”

Anya blanched at the expression on Cassandra’s face before shaking her head. When Cassandra made a disbelieving noise, she protested, “They probably know already. Thane’s been all over the news.”

“I can’t believe you, Anya,” Cassandra placed her hands on her hips and shook her head. “First, you’re going to contact your friends and let them know that Thane’s alive, that you’re getting married, and then that they may or may not be part of the wedding party. Understood?”

Thane chuckled at the displeased look that twisted Anya’s brows. Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Anya growled, “Or what, _Hannah_? Are you going to ground me?”

“No,” Cassandra rebutted. “I’ll just make you look at wedding catalogs with me.”

Narrowing her eyes, Anya and Cassandra stared each other down for a minute. It was Anya who surrendered first, throwing her hands up in defeat. “Alright, alright, I’ll do it.” 

“Good,” Cassandra returned her notepad to her pocket and gave the both of them a departing smile before going back to whatever it was she had been doing before interrupting.

Niall watched Michael’s wife leave, brow plates reaching for his fringe in amazement. Returning his attention to Anya and Thane, he commented, “She’s not scared of anything, is she?”

“The Shepard women rarely are,” replied Thane, warding off a chuckle with a smirk. In response to the playfully cold look Anya gave him, he suggested, “Perhaps we should start making those calls.”

Anya huffed in distaste but started for her private terminal in the office. Thane followed closely behind, admiring the sway of her hips as she walked. Sliding into her seat, Anya flicked on the terminal and gave Thane a hesitant smile before opening her contact list.

The vid-calls went how Thane had expected them too. It would start with warm pleasantries and short conversation in regards to the events of life; which Anya would take advantage of to mention that Thane was alive. At which point Thane would step on screen to confirm. They’d then explain about the wedding, that they were invited, and whether or not they were in the wedding party. After a series of congratulations and promises to attend, he and Anya would move on to the next person on her contacts.

Thane pretended not to notice when Anya skipped over Garrus’s name. She couldn’t avoid him forever, especially when Thane wanted the turian as his groomsmen. They crossed off name after name as she scrolled through her list. When Tali’s name appeared next, Anya scrolled the cruiser down to Wrex instead. Only when they were out of contacts did Anya return to her quarian friend. She hesitated, concentrating over Tali’s name as though she were trying to diffuse a time bomb.

Moving to stand behind his mate, Thane placed his hands on her shoulders and started to rub the tension from her back. Speaking softly, as to not spook her, he observed, “They’re our friends, Anya. We can not avoid them forever.”

Her entire body was shaking as she nervously tapped her foot. After another apprehensive minute, Anya sighed and selected Tali’s name out of her contacts. The screen darkened as her terminal connected with Tali. 

Before Anya could back out and voice her retreat, the call was accepted and a purple visored quarian appeared on the screen. Tali’s warm and friendly voice greeted Anya as though she was pleasantly surprised by the call.

“ _Shepard_ ,” Tali’s helmet lit up as she spoke. “ _This is so unexpected._ ”

Rubbing the back of her neck, Anya chuckled nervously. “Hey, Tali. How are you?”

“ _I’m fine_ ,” Tali’s voice was hesitant, concern painting her tone as she inspected Anya through the screen. “ _Is everything alright, Shepard?_ ”

“Yeah, it’s great,” she answered too quickly. Taking a calming breath, Anya looked up to meet Thane’s reassuring gaze before returning her attention to the other woman. “I have news.”

“ _The Reapers aren’t back, are they?_ ”

Anya laughed and shook her head, “No, nothing like that.” She placed her hand on top of Thanes, which was still resting on her shoulders. “Thane’s alive.”

Lowering himself until his face appeared on the screen, Thane waved at the other woman. He didn’t need to be able to see past her visor to tell that she was surprised. Smiling at her shocked body language, he said, “It’s good to see you again, Tali'Zorah Vas Normandy.”

“ _I -- you . . . Thane?_ ” Tali brought a hand to her visor as she tried to make sense of the scene in front of her. “ _You’re alive?_ ”

Nodding, Thane tried to answer all of her questions in one response. “The STG got a hold of my body when I died in Huerta. They brought my body to a science facility on Zorya where they brought me back from the dead and cured my Kepral’s Syndrome. Anya and I found each other when she led an attack on the Blue Sun base there.”

Tali was silent for a moment, processing everything Thane had said. Shaking her head she repeated, “ _You’re alive? I can’t believe you’re alive!_ ”

“There’s more,” Anya inserted before the quarian could gather herself enough to bombard them both with a million and one questions. “We’re getting married.”

“ _A wedding?_ ” Tali squealed in girlish delight. “ _Thane’s alive and you’re getting married! Keelah, Shepard, one bomb shell at a time.”  
_  
Smiling, Anya continued with the objective of their call. “Thane and I were hoping that you and Garrus would be part of our wedding party.”

Silence joined them for a moment as Tali was again stunned speechless. She shook her head and forced herself to use her words. “ _I would be honored; but I think Garrus should hear this himself_.”

“Where is Garrus?” Thane wondered as Anya shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

Tali looked somewhere off the screen, peering out a window as she said, “ _He’s outside with Jonah._ ”

“Jonah,” Anya muttered, rubbing her chin as she thought. “That name sounds familiar.”

 _The terminal flickers as a quarian woman speaks into the camera. “I’m sorry, Honey, I’m sorry!” Her voice trembles with fear and regret. Anya watches the screen, her back straight with silent fury. “Jonah, if you get this, be strong for daddy. Mommy loves you very much!” The recording ends with the sound of attacking gunfire, and Thane says a prayer for the dead.  
_  
Thane blinked back the memory and helped his Siha remember, “His mother died on the Alarei.”

Tali nodded, gesturing that Thane remembered correctly. “ _And his father too when we were trying to retake Rannoch._ ” Her gaze went for the window again, and Thane assumed she was watching the boy and Garrus together. “ _He was alone after the Reaper War. I felt like it was my responsibility to help him. So Garrus and I took him_ _in_.” She shrugged as though it were nothing at all.

“That’s great, Tali,” Anya smiled at her friend and Thane could tell that it was with genuine happiness. “You and Gare-Bear have your own little family.”

Tali nodded, her smile visible despite her visor. “ _And now you will too. Both of you deserve to be happy. I’m so glad you found each other._ ”

“So are we,” Thane squeezed Anya shoulders and they shared a loving smile.

Anya returned her attention to the quarian to confirm, “So you’re in? You’ll be my bridesmaid?”

“ _Of course I will, Shepard_.” Her body language changed with discomfort as she continued her sentence. “ _But I can’t speak for Garrus, you’ll have to ask him yourself._ ”

Nodding, the tension returned to Anya’s shoulders. She sat as stiff as death itself as she struggled to voice her next words. “Can you get him for me?”

Tali shook her head, refusing to let Anya speak to her turian. Helmet lighting up as she spoke, Tali suggested, “ _This is a conversation that you two should have face to face. Come to Rannoch, see our home, meet Jonah. You and Garrus can work out your issues, and then we can enjoy the spoils of war._ ”

Anya peered up at Thane, her emerald eyes begging him to be the one to make the decision. Smiling at Tali, he consented. “We’ll start packing tonight.”

“ _Great!_ ” Tali clapped excitedly. “ _I’ll start getting things ready for you_.” Her happiness was enough to radiate through the terminal and infect them both. “ _I’m glad you’re alive, Thane. Seeing your name on that wall_ ,” she shook her head. “ _A wedding is just what we all need._ ”

“Anya would disagree,” Thane smirked down at his mate.

Before Tali could ask his meaning, Anya interjected, “It was good talking to you, Tali. We’ll see you soon.”

“ _You too, Shepard._ ”

The terminal shut off and Anya leaned back in her seat. Thane could feel her anxiety as though it was his own. She was nervous about seeing Garrus again, but Thane knew how much the turian valued their friendship. They would hash it out like they always did; argue like siblings. In the end they would forgive each other, and their relationship would be stronger because of it.

“Come,” Thane held his hand out for her, and smiled softly when Anya let him help her out of her seat. “We should start packing.”


	31. Chapter 31

Thane silently watched as Anya paced the cargo area. The metallic flooring creaked under her boots, rhythmically drumming like a new age instrument. He could feel her nerves, and could smell her anxiety. They were mere minutes from landing on Rannoch and then Anya would have to do something he knew she wasn’t accustomed to doing. She’d have to apologize. 

“This is a mistake,” she muttered as she desperately combed her fingers through her hair. Anya shook her head, her emerald eyes watching her pacing feet as she continued to wear a track into the floor. 

“He’s never going to forgive me; not after how I treated him.” She bit her lip and whispered, “I wouldn’t forgive me.”

Standing from the crate he’d been leaning on, Thane intercepted his mate before she could do another lap around the cargo area. He held her by the shoulders in an attempt to infect her with his confidence. When her green gaze lifted to meet his, Thane smiled warmly. “Siha, I’ve seen you wrangle a thresher maw, laughing the entire time. This is Garrus, he’s your friend --”

“Is he?” she interrupted. Anya shook her head again as if to answer her own question. “You don’t know what I did to him. You don’t know how I was.” She looked away from Thane, defeat already showing clearly in her eyes.

He held her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. When he found remorse in her eyes, Thane agreed, “You’re right, I don’t know; I wasn’t there. But I do know that Garrus respects you and loves you like family. I do know that if your roles were reversed you would forgive him. You just have to do your part and apologize. Whatever happens after that is up to Garrus.”

Anya bit her lip as she searched his eyes, seeking to duplicate his strength with a fabrication of her own. When the pilot announced their arrival, she let out a sigh and rolled her shoulders, steeling herself for the challenge to come. “Alright, let’s get this over with.”

Offering her a reassuring smile, Thane picked up their bags and followed Anya toward the exit. When the cargo bay door descended into a ramp, it was to reveal a welcoming party waiting for them on Rannoch’s clay colored sands. 

His mate shrugged off her apprehension at the sight of Tali waiting for them. A grin spread across her full lips and she ran down the ramp and into the quarian’s arms. The women held each other tightly, squeezing and laughing as though it had been years instead of monthssince they’d last seen one another.

As he stepped off of the ship he heard Tali saying, “It’s so good to see you again. I was afraid I might never get a chance to.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Tali,” scolded Anya as she released the quarian from their embrace. “I wouldn’t dare to die before seeing your house on a hilltop.”

Tali didn’t reply, knowing as well as Thane did that Anya had ignored her meaning. Turning towards Thane, Tali’s elation emanated through her body language. She wrapped her arms around his neck, not caring that his hands were too full to return her embrace. 

“Thane,” she breathed, the smile hidden behind her visor was loud enough to be heard in her voice. “Even when I saw you on the terminal I could hardly believe it. You’re alive.”

When she released him from her arms, Thane smiled down at the petite quarian. “I can hardly believe it myself sometimes. It’s great to see you again, Tali.” Glancing down at the young quarian child beside her, Thane wondered, “This must be Jonah.”

“It is,” Tali wrapped an arm around the boys shoulders and introduced them. “Jonah, these are very good friends of mine, Thane Krios and Anya Shepard. They’re going to be visiting for a little while.”

Jonah positioned himself so that half of his body was hiding behind Tali. Anya smiled down at the boy. Placing her hands on her knees, she lowered herself to his eye level. “It’s nice to meet you, Jonah.”

“You too,” his boyish voice squeaked before stepping further behind Tali.

Straightening back up, Anya looked at the beautiful landscape around them  before asking, “Where’s Garrus?”

Tali fidgeted uncomfortably for a second. “He’s waiting for us at home.”

Thane regarded Tali carefully as he asked, “He does know that we’re coming, doesn’t he?” Thane knew Garrus well enough to know that the turian did not like surprises; and he doubted that this kind of surprise would have been well received.

Nodding, Tali assured them, “He knows. He just wasn’t ecstatic that I didn’t consult him before inviting both of you out here.” To the nervous look that returned to Anya’s expression, Tali said, “Don’t worry, everything’s fine.”

Anya looked over her shoulder to meet Thane’s gaze. He looked down at his mate and offered her a small smile as encouragement. He knew that she was nervous, if they didn’t proceed with caution she’d defer to her fight or flight instinct. Nodding, he repeated Tali’s reassurances, “Everything’s fine.”

She didn’t look convinced, but Anya nodded; she trusted her mate and her friend to help her through this. Releasing her distress with a sigh, Anya said, “Time to face the beast, eh Jonah?”

The boy looked up at Tali and wondered, “Who’s the beast?”

“That would be Garrus,” Tali answered as she took Jonah’s hand in hers and led them toward the sky-car parked some distance away.

Jonah looked back at Anya and laughed, “You’re scared of Garrus?” He laughed again, louder this time, “Why? He’s funny!”

Anya walked alongside Jonah and patted him on the head. “You don’t know him like I do, kid.” She made an exaggeratedly fearful face, and explained, “He can be scary when he wants to be.”

When Tali popped the trunk, Thane placed their luggage inside and joined them in the sky-car. It was a silent ride from the docks to the Vakarian home, giving Thane enough time to admire their surroundings.

He shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was to learn how efficient quarians were as a people. They had only reclaimed their planet a little over a year ago, and already small towns were sprouting like bean stocks. A metropolis was budding on Rannoch, and it’s people were prospering.

“You guys don’t waste any time do you?” asked Anya as she peered out the window. Glancing at Tali, she wondered, “Does Rannoch have a strip joint yet?”

Tali scoffed and shook her head, in the seat beside her Jonah asked, “What’s a strip joint?”

Thane didn’t need to be able to see Tali’s face to know that she was boring into Anya a scathing look. “It’s a place where you break down old and broken ships and shuttles for spare parts,” she gently explained to the young boy.

“We have those,” Jonah turned in his seat to face Thane and Anya in the back of the sky-car. “We have a lot of strip joints.”

Giving the woman beside him a sidelong glance, Thane shook his head at Anya who was covering her mouth with a hand to stifle her laughter. 

“Keelah, Shepard. You’ve hardly been here ten minutes,” Tali berated her former commander.

Snickering, Anya shrugged off Tali’s displeasure and remarked, “He live’s with Garrus, the kid’s probably heard much worse than that. Haven’t you Jonah?”

The boy nodded at Anya, even though it was obvious that he wasn’t really following her meaning. Thane shook his head again, fighting the smirk from his lips as he returned his attention to the vista beyond the tinted window. He knew Anya was still nervous about confronting Garrus; she was playing with Jonah in order to distract herself from that feeling.

They zipped through open air for a few more minutes until Tali pulled the car up a slope, climbing the terrain until they came upon a lovingly put together home. The design reminded Thane of vids of Earth’s twenty-first century villa styled homes. It was a rich earthy color, and the surrounding foliage was carefully tended. The expansive windows and airy structure allowed wind and light to circulate through its interior. Thane was awestruck. Tali’s home was incredible.

Whistling as she peered out Thane’s window, Anya murmured, “Looks like you’ve been putting your royalties to good use, Tali.”

Her smile was loud in her voice as Tali replied, “We’ve done alright for ourselves.” She steered the sky-car up the driveway and parked it in front of the large house. The doors unlocked when she switched off the ignition and they freed themselves from the compact vehicle, welcoming the temperate Rannoch climate.

As Thane rounded the vehicle to retrieve his and Anya’s belongings. Jonah followed him, excitedly crying out, “I can help you!” He watched Thane start to remove their luggage from the trunk. Wrapping his three fingers around the handle he tried to heave up the suit case.

Thane smiled at the young quarian boy and offered him another bag. “That one,” he pointed to the large bag Jonah had just tried to lift, “belongs to Anya. She tends to overpack.”

“I heard that,” Anya sounded from up the walkway as she and Tali headed toward the house. 

Accepting the offered bag from Thane, Jonah waited for him to collect the remaining luggage before leading Thane up the path the females had just taken. 

“Do you and Anya have kids?” asked the young boy.

“Not yet,” Thane smiled down at the little boy, wondering what his childish grin looked like under that visor. His smile grew as he shared, “But we have a nephew that’s about your age. Maybe next time we come to visit we can bring him.”

“I’d like that.” Jonah hefted the bag up the few steps to the door and led Thane into the house.

Thane paused at the entrance, struck speechless at the beauty of the Vakarian home. The ceiling was vaulted and the walls were a pure white color, aesthetically accented with calming earthy tones. The furniture was a combination of modern styles and classic designs, decorated with vibrant bursts of eye-catching color. Thane set the bags down on the floor and gawked at the beautiful home he had just stepped into.

Tali and Anya rounded the corner, looking for the man and boy that had lagged behind. When his mate met his gaze she said, “There you are, Krios. I thought we’d lost you in the garden or something.”

Chuckling at Anya’s exaggeration, Tali waved for Thane to follow her. “Come on, I’ll show you where you can put your things.”

He, Anya, and Jonah followed Tali through the spacious home; cutting through the kitchen, past the den, and down a hall until they stepped into the spare bedroom. The bed was inviting, and the windows let in the perfect amount of light. It was a large room with a private bathroom, a space by the window with a chaise, and a comfortable looking king sized bed.

Anya’s whistle pierced through the air again. “Gods, Tali. You guys don’t play around when it comes to interior decorating.”

“You can blame Garrus for that,” Tali replied with a laugh. “The doors are also reinforced and the windows are bulletproof. If you don’t punch in the passcode within a minute of coming inside from any entrance you risk being shot down by hidden turrets firing cryo rounds.”

Chuckling at Tali’s home security, Anya shook her head and said, “Remind me to never break into your house.”

“This will probably be the only warning you’ll get,” teased Tali. “Are either of you hungry? I did some grocery shopping so we have plenty to feed you.”

Thane placed their luggage on the bed and glanced at Anya. She watched him for a moment and he recognized the unsure look in her eyes. Giving his mate a slight nod, he returned his attention to their hospitable hostess.

“Actually,” Anya’s discomfort was audible in her voice. “I was hoping to speak with Garrus now.”

Tali watched Anya closely for a moment, as though commending her courage in ‘facing the beast’. Nodding, she said, “He’s in the veranda out back.” Pointing her attention to the young quarian child beside her, Tali wondered, “How about we show Thane your new bike!”

Nodding excitedly, Jonah immediately agreed. “It goes really, really fast.” The child was gone a second later, running through the house in pursuit of the bike in question.

“No running in the house, Jonah,” Tali shouted after him before looking back at Thane and Anya. “I can honestly say I never thought I’d ever say that in my entire life.” Following the boy through the house, Tali disappeared into the hallway and left Thane and Anya alone for a moment.

Thane walked across the room to where Anya stood by the window. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he kissed the top of her head, breathing her in as he pulled her back against his chest. “This needs to be done, Siha. For both of your sakes.”

Anya sighed but nodded in agreement. She turned in his arms and pressed her lips against his. Stepping out of his embrace, she said, “Wish me luck.”

“You won’t need it,” Thane smiled at his mate. When she gave him a desperate look, Thane appeased her by adding, “But good luck none the less.”

“Thanks,” she murmured. With a resolute breath she straightened her shoulders and cracked the bones in her neck. She was acting as though they were about to step off of a shuttle and into a horde of Collectors, not talk to an old friend. Rubbing her hands together she finally forced her body to move towards the exit. 

“I can do this,” Anya repeated to herself as she left the guest room and moved to the back of the house towards the veranda.

*

Anya concentrated on her breathing as she approached the sliding glass door that led to the veranda. She could see Garrus just outside the glass, leaning on the railing as he watched the sun’s lazy descent into darkness. She bit her lip between her teeth as she watched him closely.

His spine was ramrod straight, his body tense as though he were standing in the middle of a nest of Reaper Rachni. Except when they actually had been standing in the middle of a Reaper Rachni nest, Anya remembered Garrus being much more relaxed than he was now. He knew she was there, and he wasn’t happy about it. When the metalic taste of blood filled her mouth, Anya released her lip from between her teeth with a sigh. It was time to man up and face the music.

When the sliding glass door opened with a hiss, Garrus’ only acknowledgement of the sound was the slight tilt of his head. His attention was fixed forward, and Anya was both glad and disappointed that he wouldn’t turn to face her. On one hand she didn’t have to see the anger and pain she’d surely find in his steel blue eyes; on the other, his not turning to face her meant that he wasn’t in a very forgiving mood. She was a fool to think he ever would be.

Ignoring the voice in the back of her head that told her to run, to get out of this house --even off this planet-- Anya forced her feet forward until she was standing beside Garrus. She placed her hands on the railing, her knuckles turning white as she squeezed the railing in attempt to keep from running away.

“Hey, Garrus,” Anya cleared the discomfort from her throat when his only response was a slight flap of his mandibles. “So, uh,” she gave Garrus a weary sidelong glance. “Nice place you got here.”

An irritated breath spilled from Garrus as he rubbed a hand over his face. She’d said less than ten words to him and he was already losing his patience with her. Slightly turning toward her, Garrus regarded her with an irritable glare for a moment as if he were waiting for her to get on with it.

“Okay,” she drawled out, her nerves growing by the second. Deciding that it might be best to skip the pleasantries, Anya stated, “Look, Garrus, I think it’s time that we talk.”

He scoffed, the steel blue of his eyes hardening with his anger. Mandible’s flaring, Garrus repeated, “Talk. You’re finally ready to talk, Shepard?”

Furrowing her brows, Anya tried to ignore the loathing in his tone. She knew she deserved this. She’d tried to brace herself for it, but no amount of preparation could have readied her for the pain of that cutting glare. She nodded reluctantly, “If you’re up to it.”

Garrus shook his head incredulously. “I was ‘up to’  talking over a year ago, around the time that you shut me out of your life completely.” He made a choked sound as he tried to give voice to his anger. “You didn’t even bother to tell me why. I could have handled the hate if I had just known why.”

“I didn’t hate you, Garrus --”

“You threatened to rip my face off.” His eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t even look at me, much less talk to me. The day Tali and I left for Rannoch you touched my shoulder and then actually _wiped your hand off_ , like I’m some sort of diseased invalid. If that’s not what you consider hate, Shepard, then maybe I should count myself lucky.”

“Fine,” she bit out. “I hated you.” His eyes widened with her admission. He looked surprised that she’d say it out loud, but he didn’t look surprised that she had felt that way. Straightening her back, Anya mustered the will to continue. “I hated you more than I could ever explain.”

His brow plates furrowed. Garrus crossed his arms in front of his chest and gave her a disgusted once over. The heat of his ire was scathing, Anya could almost feel the welts and boils surfacing along her skin. Shaking his head, he dared to ask, “Why though? What did I do to deserve _that_ kind of hate?”

When Anya’s lips thinned, he mistook her silence as a refusal to answer. She could feel the currents of his subharmonics causing the air between them to vibrate with his rage. His fury was causing goosebumps to prickle along her arms. “I saved you, Shepard. It was _me_. _I_ volunteered James and myself to the search party on ground zero. _I_ got us to the Citadel. _I_ kept hoping we’d find you, even when it felt impossible. _I_ found you in the rubble and _I_ pulled you out. You’re alive today because of _me_ , and you repaid me with inexplicable hate.”

“ _That’s_ why I hated you,” she whispered, her voice shaking with the confession. And now Anya hated herself. Garrus was her best friend and she’d been a monster toward him. She had taken everything he'd done for her and thrown it back in his face, and to add insult to injury, she hadn't even told him why. If she wanted to salvage what was left of their friendship, Anya was going to have to try and explain.

" _You_ saved me." Confusion twisted his features and, with a deep breath, Anya forced herself to try and explain it all so that he might understand. "I wanted to die, Garrus. After the Cerberus coup, after I lost Thane, the only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that I wouldn't survive the Reaper War. You can imagine my surprise when I woke to find that I wasn't across the sea with Thane, but that I was still alive; and it was because of you." 

Biting her lip, Anya forced herself to keep her gaze locked with his. She'd been weak before, but now she needed to be strong. Garrus deserved an explanation, and she was determined to give him one. "Because of you, I would have to fight every second of every day for the rest of my life, I would have to survive my own personal hell until the day I finally died. Dr. Michel said that if I had stayed buried in the rubble for a minute longer I would have died. That's all I needed, a minute, but you found me and you took that away from me."

She wiped away the stray tears that had snuck past her defenses and fled down her cheeks. Clearing the emotion from her throat, Anya's voice faltered as she went on. "I blamed you. Yeah, it was the doctors that fixed me up, and it was a huge cosmic joke that kept my heart pumping, but it was you who found me. I didn't understand it at the time. I knew in my head that you didn't do anything wrong, that you were -- _are_ \-- my best friend and that I love you; but my heart was broken and it was easier to blame it all on you than it was to face the second chance you gave me."

Garrus stared at her for a beat. His mandibles flared as he tried to swallow the explanation she'd given him. After a moment he asked, "Why couldn't you talk to me, Shepard? Or, if not me, anyone else? You have friends and family that love you and care about you, but you shut us all out in one way or another. Why weren't we enough for you?"

“Because as much as I love and care about all of you, I love and care about Thane more.” It was a simple and painful truth. No one else would ever be enough to keep her from her mate. “I was an insufferable beast to you, and there aren’t any words in this galaxy strong enough to express to you how sorry I am. I blamed you before, and now I have you to thank for all the same reasons.” A humorless chortle burst from her as she shook her head. “If you hadn’t pulled me from the rubble I’d be dead. I’d be standing on a sea shore, alone, and Thane would be here, alive and well."

“It’s because of you that I get another chance to have a life with him; a long, healthy, and full life. I get to be with the man I love and have a family thanks to you.” Anya gazed openly at Garrus, not bothering to keep her emotions from playing on her features. 

If she were a turian, her subharmonics would be trilling with her remorse and gratitude. It was times like this that she hated how limited humans were when it came to self expression. There was no way for Garrus to understand how she felt.

Sighing, Anya admitted, “I will never be able express to you how grateful I am that you pulled me out of the Catalyst’s wreckage. I will never be able to tell you how sorry I am for the way I treated you afterwards. You never know how you’re going to react in a situation until it happens, and I reacted shamefully. You’re family, Garrus. I love you like I love Michael, and I still pushed you away. I hurt you, and I know that now. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just want you to know that I am so sorry. If I’ve already lost you, I have only myself to blame.”

Garrus shook his head before turning and pacing away from her. The anger that was on his face now looked forced, like he was making himself retain the emotion in order to get through the rest of their conversation.

“You think you can just apologize and I’ll forget about everything?” The anger in his glare ripped her to pieces for the second that it was on her. “You made me feel this big, Shepard.” He held up his hand with barely an inch of space between his first digit and thumb.

He continued to pace, letting out his anger in sharp biting bursts. “I get that you had to work it out yourself, but I wanted to be there for you. You not only pushed me away, you cut me out of your life completely. Do you have any idea how much that hurt?”

When his glare landed on her again Anya shook her head, allowing a tear to run down her cheek unchecked.

“It hurt a lot,” he spat, answering his own question. “I was alone. My best friend wanted me gone and the woman I love was missing. I was stuck on the Citadel, helping bureaucrats and politicians sort through the post war bullshit, in shambles because everything I cared about was gone.”

Garrus stopped pacing, his gaze was pointed at his feet as he admitted, “I needed you, Shepard. I needed my best friend, and it felt like you wanted me dead.” He removed his gaze from the floor and returned his attention to her. Anya’s heart broke at the pain she found in those steel blue eyes.

Gasping, Anya choked on a sob. She shook her head and tried to fight back the tears that threatened to overtake her. “I am _so_ sorry,” she covered her mouth with a hand, and sniffed back her attacking emotions. “Gare-Bear, please forgive me.”

He watched her break down for a moment, cautious of her tears and her blatant show of unadulterated emotion. After a minute his mandible’s flicked and his body loosened as he released the last of his anger with a breath. Anya realized how much tension he had been harboring. Garrus’s stance was now like she remembered it had been before she’d been so cruel to him.

Garrus closed the distance between them and pulled her into a constricting embrace; one which Anya returned with equal ferocity. She buried her face in his shoulder and sobbed, ashamed of how she treated him. 

His body rumbled as he chuckled to himself. Patting her on the back, Garrus admitted, “I didn’t ever think that I’d actually miss you calling me Gare-Bear.”

Anya couldn’t help but laugh as well. When Garrus released her from their hug she dried her eyes and sniffed away the evidence of her tears. Smiling at Garrus, she said, “Not as much as I missed calling you that.” The smile fell from her lips as she repeated, “I really am sorry, Garrus, for everything.”

“I know,” he nodded, his face plates shifting with his understanding. “I forgive you, Shepard. We’ve been through a lot together, we’ll make it through this too.”

She smiled up at her best friend, relieved that at last they had talked it out and they were finally on the road to recovery. Putting the pieces of their friendship back together was important to her. She’d shut him out before, and now he needed time to regain the trust he’d had in her in the past.

The sound of the sliding glass door opening caused both of them to turn. Thane, Jonah, and Tali exited the house and joined Anya and Garrus on the veranda. Thane offered Anya a supportive smile as he strode over to her. Placing a kiss on the top of her head, he wrapped her in his strong arms and comfortingly rubbed her back.

Tali joined Garrus by the railing and eased herself against his side. Looking between Garrus and Anya, she wondered, “Did you two work everything out?”

Anya’s looked towards Garrus and waited expectantly for his answer. He gave her a reassuring nod before answering, “Everything’s looking up.”

As Jonah leaned over the railing, he said, “We should take Anya to a strip joint tomorrow.”

The look that Garrus gave Tali was horrified. The quarian woman laughed as she explained, “Shepard asked if we had any strip joints in town, and I explained to Jonah that that’s where we take old ships for salvage.”

His mandibles flapped with amusement as Garrus shook his head. He looked at Anya and chuckled. “We do have a strip club in town, it’s called _Suicide Dolls_.”

Laughing, Anya rebutted, “I’m sure it’s the sickest spot on Rannoch.” She shook her head, unsurprised that their banter hadn’t improved any in the last year and a half. “Gods, I’ve missed you, Gare-Bear.”


	32. Chapter 32

Sunlight flowed in through the windows in streams of gold, gently stroking Anya’s surface as morning coaxed her to wake. Hugging her pillow tightly she squeezed her eyes shut in attempt to banish the morning sun from her sight and steal a few more winks of sleep.

The bed shifted beside her and a warm smile tugged at her lips as Thane scattered kisses along her shoulder. “My Siha finally wakes,” he purred, placing his lips on the arch of her neck. Anya could feel his lips parting, the heat of his breath spilling onto her skin as he tasted her neck.

Sucking in a sharp breath, she suddenly felt very awake. She turned her body to face Thane’s and took in the sight of her green scaled Adonis. The sunlight made him look sleek like a snakes skin, his color vibrant and eye catching in a way that would mean danger if he were an earthbound serpent.

Anya trailed her hand up the length of his arm, feeling it’s shape and strength as she made her way up his shoulder, to the back of his neck and pulled his face down towards hers. His hand snuck under her camisole as he pressed his lips against hers, the feverish heat of his body was igniting a wildfire in her core.

As his digits felt up her thigh and inched north towards her breast, Anya let out a giggle when his tender touch tickled her ribs. Thane pulled away from her slightly and looked down at her smiling face. The smirk that plucked the corners of his full lips was plotting. She recognized his intentions immediately.

“Thane, no,” she commanded with a laugh, too late as he climbed on top of her and started to savagely tickle her sides. Anya screamed bloody murder, thrashing underneath him as he attacked. “Thane!” she hollered, tears filling her eyes as she laughed and bucked and fought to get out from under him.

He was an anchor, holding her down against wave after wave of protest. The sound of his laughter was almost enough for her to consider forgiving him for this later, now though all she could do was try to contain the contents of her bladder.

When her struggling arms nearly elbowed him in the eye, Thane grabbed a tight hold of her wrists and pinned them on the mattress over her head. With one hand still tickling her ribs, his mouth descended upon hers again. The kiss was taunting, a reminder that she was defenseless against him.

Anya’s giggles subsided as she returned his kiss. Arching her back towards him, she pressed her body against his and Thanes warmth seeped into her through her camisole. A second later she felt his erection against her, and Anya smiled at the reminder that he was just as defenseless against her.

Adjusting himself between her legs, Thane draped her legs around his waist as he deepened their kiss. The toxins in his saliva filtered her senses with a feeling of euphoria, and Anya bit back the dopey giggle that nearly spurted free. Her hips rolled against him by their own will, causing both of them to hiss at the sharp electric pleasure of her sex rubbing against him.

He released her wrists from his grasp, only to wrap his arms around her and hoist her up. Anya squeaked at the suddenness of it. One moment he’d had her pinned on her back, and the next she was straddled on his lap; his lips on her collar.

Anya placed her hands on his shoulders to steady herself as his mouth descended from her collar to her chest. Pulling the straps of her camisole off of her shoulders, Thane tugged the fabric down until her breasts were revealed to him. He paused for the slightest of seconds to admire her body before he claimed one of her pearled nipples with his mouth.

With his free hand he pinched her other nipple, and Anya threw her head back to moan. Unable to help herself she started to grind against him, desperate to feel his hard throbbing arousal against her sopping wet folds.

The hand holding her back pressed fiercely against her, his nails almost digging into her skin as he tried to stop himself from throwing her back onto her back and claiming her all at once. Anya pulled his face from her breast and returned Thane’s mouth to her lips. Sucking his bottom lip between her teeth, she gently tugged on the soft plump flesh before lowering her mouth to the delicate ribbing of his neck.

Thane hissed, trapped between the overwhelming pleasure of her rubbing herself against him and her mouth exploring his sensitive frill. His hands clutched her waist tightly and he encouraged her to grind herself more aggressively against him.

“Siha,” the whispery gravel of his voice poured gasoline onto the vulcanic flame inside of her. He couldn’t take much more of this, and neither could Anya. She needed him inside of her, and she needed him now.

She didn’t move her lips from his neck as she lifted her body slightly off of his. It was all the affirmation Thane needed. Releasing his erection from his shorts, Thane slid Anya’s panties to the side and pressed the tip of his penis against her slick folds, begging her for entrance.

Anya bit into Thane’s shoulder to keep from shouting as she lowered herself onto him all at once, sheathing his shaft to the hilt. The grunt that ground out from Thane was a primal sound. His grip on her hips was desperate as she started to roll her pelvis. 

A moan escaped her as she felt every rib of his member rub against the walls of her vagina. Biting her lip in attempt to stifle her voice, Anya began to ride Thane’s member. His hands slid around her waist to cup her ass cheeks, helping her maintain the mind numbing momentum. 

The friction of his ribbed penis inside of her wet core sparked every nerve ending with a thousand volts. She pounded herself against him, burying all that he was inside of her until she climbed nearer and nearer to climax. 

As she took on a desperate pace, Thane’s fingers grabbed a fistful of her hair, yanked her head back until her neck was exposed to him, and he bit those sharp and sexy canines into her neck. Anya cried out loudly as a powerful orgasm shook her body, blinding her in a white light of pleasure. 

Thane didn’t give her even a moment of reprieve. As she was catapulted into climax he threw her back onto the bed and plowed into her. He drove in and out of her, slamming his body into hers as he roughly claimed his own release. 

Anya could feel his erection swell inside of her as he neared orgasim. The extra girth caused the ribbing of his penis to rub the hypersensitive skin hidden along the walls of her vagina. As Thane plunged into his own climax, Anya was thrown back into the white clouds she had only just descended from.

Collapsing onto the bed beside her they took a moment to catch their breath before either of them spoke. After a minute, Anya glanced at Thane and grinned.

“Now that’s what I call a good morning.”

Thane chuckled in agreement. “A great morning,” he corrected before nuzzling her neck and climbing off of the bed. Thane stripped out of his shorts and strode toward the bathroom. Glancing over his shoulder, he gave her a goading grin as he asked, “Care to join me in the shower?”

She perched herself up on her elbows and watched his exquisite green ass disappear into the bathroom. Calling out over the sound of the shower starting up, she said, “You are an insatiable beast, Thane Krios.” 

Anya pulled herself out of bed and allowed the camisole to glide off of her body and pool around her feet. Walking into the bathroom, she pulled the shower curtain aside and stepped into the hot water. A laugh tore past her lips when Thane pulled her into his arms and pressed his mouth against hers.

She had to agree, it was a great morning.

__

"Morning," Anya said as she strolled into the kitchen.

Garrus and Jonah were seated at the breakfast table, eating some kind of food that Anya didn't recognize. Tali was in the kitchen, a steaming coffee mug held out as offering as Anya joined her at the counter. Accepting the mug with murmured thanks, Anya took a sip before shutting her eyes to relish the rich flavor of her heavily sugared, intensely creamed coffee.

Smiling at the woman beside her, Anya said, "You remembered how I take my coffee."

"Five tablespoons of sugar and too much hazelnut creamer," Tali nodded with a laugh. "How could I forget?"

"We may not have Thane's perfect memory," commented Garrus as Thane entered the kitchen, his mandibles clicked with his teasing. "But we make do."

Tali picked up another steaming mug and handed it to Thane, "And we made tea."

"Thank you, Tali," Thane bowed his head in gratitude before drinking his tea. 

Picking his plate off the table, Garrus took the dish to the sink and said, "Thank the Spirits we don't have your perfect memory, Thane." He gave Thane a turian grin and shook his head. "I'm hoping to someday forget the sounds coming out of the guest room this morning."

Anya laughed when Tali nodded in agreement. Shrugging carelessly at their playful revulsion, she said, "We're mated, soon to be married,  there is nothing wrong with our pre-breakfast excursions."

"Except for us being subjected to it," Tali corrected. Gesturing towards Jonah she added, "think of the children, Shepard."

"How did you manage to get her to agree to marrying you anyway, Krios?" wondered Garrus. "Anytime Kaidan mentioned nuptials Shepard would sideline him for no less than six missions."

The smile that curled Thanes lips was infectious as he admitted, "Unfortunately I cannot accept blame for her agreeing to marry me."

To the confused expressions that Tali and Garrus gave them, Anya explained, "My mom doesn't think that us being mated is enough. She and Cassandra have taken it upon themselves to plan my entire wedding. I have no choice in the matter."

“Commander Shepard, a married woman,” Tali said out loud and shook her head in amazement. “Keelah, I never thought I’d see the day.”

Anya smiled at her friend as she corrected, “Retired Commander Shepard.” She stepped the short distance to Thane and slunk her way under his arm. Grinning up at her mate, she added, “Now that we’re both alive I think I’ll leave the galaxy saving heroics to James.”

“He did learn from the best,” Garrus replied with a grin.

Tali was quiet for a moment, thoughtful as she watched Thane and Anya together. After a second she started bouncing on her feet the way she did when she had an idea. “You should retire to Rannoch!”

“What?” Anya coughed out a laugh. Glancing up at Thane she inspected his features to see if he had heard the same thing. When he gazed down at her and shrugged, she returned her attention to Tali and argued, “We already have a place, Tali.”

“Yes, but the Citadel is so crowded,” she rebutted. “You faked your own death so that you’d be left alone, but it’s not like you make it easy for the Council or C-Sec to keep up the facade. No one is going to bother you here.”

“Except for us,” inserted Garrus.

Tali took a step towards Anya and grabbed her by the shoulders, her luminescent eyes staring at her intently. “You’re getting _married_ , Shepard.” She glanced and Thane and they shared an understanding nod. “You’re starting your own little family. Don’t you think that you also deserve a house on a hilltop with that white picket fence you humans fantasize about?”

When Anya was quiet for too long, Tali laid it on thick. “It’s because of you that my people were able to return to Rannoch in the first place. You helped us accomplish something incredible, and now we get to reclaim the lives we thought lost to us. Wouldn’t you want to be a part of that, Shepard? Wouldn’t you like to be here to see us grow, and know that it’s all thanks to you that we even have a chance?”

"Alright, enough, I get it." Anya shook her head at her friend's persistence and said, "We'll think about it, okay?" As Tali clapped her hands excitedly, she added, "But I make no promises."

Jonah appeared at Anya’s side, gazing up at her he asked, “Are you and Thane going to be moving to Rannoch.”

Patting the top of his head, Anya smiled and shrugged. “Maybe, kiddo, we’ll have to talk about it.”

The little quarian boy made and exasperated gesture. “Grown ups talk too much! You should just live here, it’ll be fun!”

She smiled down at him, unable to tell him no and amazed that Tali and Garrus possessed such a parental ability. “We’ll see, little guy.”

The five of them stood in the kitchen for a moment, quiet as they decided how to proceed. Mandibles flaring, Garrus wondered, “So, did you two want to do anything in particular today?”

“Is Suicide Dolls open yet?” asked Anya with a laugh. When Garrus and Tali both shook their heads in disappointment of her poor sense of humor, she shrugged. “I think I’m going to snatch my betrothed for a walk along the countryside. I’d like to get a better look at this rock, maybe scope out the realestate.”

Garrus and Tali shared a look before smiling at Anya and Thane. Nodding his approval, Garrus advised, “Try not to get lost out there.”

Scoffing, Anya replied, “My sense of direction is impeccable.”

“Your sense of direction had us walking face first into trouble more often than not,” Garrus corrected.

*

“Apparently the Geth weren’t very big on nature trails,” Anya complained as she struggled past a shrub only to nearly trip over an unearthed root.

Grabbing a steadying hold of her elbow, Thane helped his mate up the hillside with a grin. “Perhaps they did not see the structural integrity of them.”

Anya laughed, “Probably not; but maybe if the dreadnought we took down during the war  had some windows the geth’s integrity might have had more structure.”

They continued walking through the terrain, making their own trail as they cut through the leafy land before them. Thane glanced at the woman beside him and thanked the gods for the millionth time that they had both found each other. They were alive and they were together, and now they had a legitimate chance to have a real future together. Gods, he loved this woman.

“You don’t talk much about the war,” he gently commented, careful to not provoke her defensiveness.

Shrugging, Anya replied, “I was mostly just trying to get through it.” She nodded her thanks when Thane pulled aside a low hanging tree branch long enough for her to pass. “My head wasn’t in the right place throughout the war, but I did the best I could.”

They walked along and silence joined them. Thane didn’t push the conversation. He had planted the seed, whether or not it would be allowed to sprout was up to Anya. After a moment he was surprised to hear her pursue the topic. 

“Legion fought so hard for the geth,” she started. “When I came looking for help from the quarians I learned that they have an incredibly bad sense of timing. The galaxy was in the middle of a war with the Reapers, and the quarians and the geth thought that _that_ was a good time to do battle.” 

Shaking her head, Anya peered at her feet while she walked, careful to not trip over anymore uprooted foliage. “There was a Reaper hanging out here on Rannoch, a big ol’ flea that was using Legion to spread their control over the Geth. I’ve seen a lot of Reaper’s in my time; but never like this. After I danced with the fucker, Legion wanted to upload it’s brain into all geth.”

To the surprised look Thane gave her she nodded in agreement. “I thought it was risky too, I mean it was a Reaper brain. But Legion assured me that it was fine. He wanted to help his people’s natural evolution; he wanted to give them souls.” Her emerald eyes widened as she said, “Who was I to stand in the way of _that_. So I did it, I let him. Tali told the quarians to hold their fire and Legion sacrificed his life in order for his people to have souls.”

She glanced up at Thane long enough to catch the pleased look in his eye before she went on. “I came here looking for an alliance and I left with two. It looked like the quarians and the geth were finally going to work their shit out; if we won against the Reapers we’d have an interesting future ahead of us -- one that I was hoping _not_ to be a part of.” 

The terrain continued to incline and Anya pushed them up the hill, her gaze pointed forward as she spoke. “Anyway, fast-forward to the Catalyst, I’m presented with three options. I can either control the Reapers, destroy them, or synthesize myself with them so that organic and synthetic life can finally coexist in peace. If I controlled or synthesized with them I would have died, but the geth and synthetics would have a chance to finally experience that soul that Legion fought so hard for them to get.” 

Anya brushed aside a leafy bush and went on. “But I chose to destroy the Reapers, knowing that it would destroy all synthetic life, the geth and EDI included. They helped me win the war and I repaid their sacrifice with genocide.” she scoffed and it was a self-depreciating sound that made Thane’s hackles rise. “I tried so hard to get myself killed, and I chose the _only_ option that might let me live. Joker lost EDI because of me, and the geth lost their lives. It’s my fault they’re gone and I get to live happily ever after with you as penance.”

Pushing them up the final stretch of the slope, she demanded, “Explain to me how that makes sense; tell me how that’s fair.” and fought past a wall of greenery.

The vista stopped them both in their tracks. The sky above them  was painted in jaw dropping strokes of blues, lavender, and pink. Billowing clouds appeared to be on fire, ignited by the setting sun as they traversed across the heavens. The ground under their feet plateaued for a distance before dipping down and running into a stream of gently flowing water. It was a remarkable sight, one without equal on any planet in this galaxy.

Thane turned toward Anya and twined his fingers through hers. Pulling her a step closer to him, he said, “Very rarely does life make sense, it being fair is even more uncommon; but everything happens for a reason, Siha.” He peered into her emerald eyes and smiled. Anya was a beautiful woman and this lighting only served to multiply that natural beauty. “And the reason you lived despite your best efforts to die is to live this very moment with me.”

He raised his hand to cup her face, and Anya leaned her cheek into his palm. They shared a long warm look as he continued. “You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be loved, and I will spend the rest of my life making sure that you are both. I know that the preparations are already underway, but I wanted to ask you myself.” 

Thane took a knee and his heart started to stampede against his ribcage as Anya’s eyes widened with surprise. No amount of vids and research could have prepared him for this moment. He took her left hand in both of his and Anya used the other to cover her mouth as tears welled in her eyes. 

“Anya, you are an incredible, intelligent, beautiful, caring and loving woman. A fool could see that nations bow at your feet, and I am a fool for you. I took the Dantius assignment expecting it to be my last and you surprised me with a suicide mission. I accepted the suicide mission, resigned to death, and you surprised me with a will to live. I never thought I would find love again after I lost Irikah, and you surprised me with a love I have never felt before in my life. I thought that I lost you and you surprised me by finding your way back to my arms. You have surprised me at every step of our time together; and I would love nothing more than to share a lifetime of more surprises with you.” 

Her tears had spilled past her eyes and were streaming down her cheeks to disappear behind the hand that was still covering her mouth. Thane reached into his pocket and retrieved the ring that Admiral Michael had presented to him the day that they left for Rannoch. “Marry me, Anya, and let us surprise each other every day of the rest of our lives.”

Anya nodded, unable to speak past the emotion she was visibly wrestling with, and Thane slid the ring onto her finger. The moment that it was secured into place she launched herself at him and knocked him onto his back. Her lips covered his with a fierce kiss, and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck as she pressed herself against him. 

He returned her embrace with equal fervor and when they finally parted for air, Thane wondered, “So does that mean yes?”

A carefree laugh burst out of her and Anya gazed down at Thane with so much love that his insides burned under the heat of it. “Yes, it means yes,” she gazed down at the glittering diamond and her grin grew, “It means _hell_ yes.” Returning her gaze to his, she breathed, “I love you, Thane Krios, with all of my heart.”

“I love you too, Anya Krios.” He wrapped his fingers along the back of her neck. “With all that I will ever be,” he said before bringing her lips to his.

When they broke apart again Anya grinned down at her ring. Looking back up at Thane she shared, “This is my grandmother’s ring. Michael begged my father for it to propose to Cassandra and Dad refused to give it to him.” Her emerald eyes lifted to his and she smiled, “My father gave it to you.”

“He did,” Thane nodded. “He said that he had been saving it for when you finally met the right man.”

Her grin grew and she cupped Thane’s face in her hands. “And I finally did,” she said before kissing him again.

Thane wrapped her up in his arms, hugging her tightly against him. His heart threatened to explode under the pressure of all the happiness and love he was feeling at that very moment. It was nearly too much for him to take. What had he done right to deserve such a wonderful woman? Why had the gods seen him fit to be the guardian of her heart? Thane didn’t know but he would spend everyday of the rest of his life humbled by her love, and honored to reciprocate.

Reluctantly pulling her lips from his, Anya pushed herself back onto her feet and offered him a hand to do the same. Looking out at the horizon, she grinned at the ever enchanting landscape. She glanced at Thane to admit, “I love this hilltop.”

He pulled her back into his arms and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Then perhaps,” he stated, “we should claim it.” Her emerald eyes widened and Thane grinned down at her lovingly. “We came out here to scope out realestate, did we not?”

"Really?" Her eyes were large and hopeful, their future together displaying in those emerald green depths. "You want to build a home here on Rannoch?"

"I want to build a life with you, Siha," he replied. "And I think Rannoch is as good a place as any to do just that."

Anya's grin expanded from one ear to the other as she gazed at the flat terrain around them. He could see in her eyes that she was already building their home and furnishing the rooms. She may not have cared for planning a wedding, but Anya was excited about what would happen afterwards. This was her dream, and Thane was overwhelmed by the satisfaction that he was the one to make it come true.

Stepping out from under his arm, she strode towards the edge of the hill. Her gaze was on the sunset for a moment before she turned around, her grin still firmly rooted in place. “Alright,” she said. “Let’s start building.”


	33. Chapter 33

“Oh I am _so_ excited!” exclaimed Cassandra as she jumped up and down. There was an almost childish gleam to her honey brown eyes as her grin lit up her entire face.

A foxy snicker coiled Jack’s dark lips as she strolled past Cassandra to where Anya stood at the window. Standing beside Anya, she peered out the window as she said, “Now I know what you meant when you said she was enthusiastic.”

Chuckling, Anya nodded. “It still doesn’t feel like a strong enough word, does it?”

Jack shook her head. Glancing back at the other women chattering in the apartment, she shook her head before turning back to Anya and asking, “Who else are we waiting on?”

Anya turned from the view beyond her apartment and scanned over all the women lounging casually throughout her home. Anya’s bridesmaids were all present, as well as Hannah Shepard, Kasumi, Neelah, Liara, and Miranda. Biting back her scowl, she reminded herself that she and the eldest Lawson sister had worked out their disagreements. _It’s in the past_ , she calmly recanted.

“A Spectre friend of mine,” Anya smiled softly at Jack as she answered and crossed her arms before looking back out the window.

“Shit, I didn’t know Kaidan was invited to go dress shopping with us,” stated Jack with a doubtful look.

Anya’s harsh reply of “He isn’t,” was smothered by the smoky, sharp edge of Thane’s voice, whose words mirrored hers.

“Goddamnit, Krios,” Jack hissed, her biotics surfacing and radiating off of her for a second before she let out a breath. “You and your damn kid need to cut that shit out.”

“My apologies, Jack,” said Thane, though the smirk tugging at the edges of his mouth admitted what little pleasure he had taken in sneaking up on the tattoo clad woman.

Anya gave her mate a brief smile before looking back at Jack and assuring the other woman, “He isn’t. The Spectre’s name is Lysithea. We worked together during the mission on Zorya.”

Jack’s features changed, her expression revealing that she recognized the name. “Thracius,” she nodded, her dark lips twisting into a wolvish smirk. “Zaeed told me about her.”

Chuckling, Anya replied, “I’m sure he did.” She then smiled at Thane and wondered, “What are you boys planning to do once the girls and I are out of here?”

The smile that inched across Thane’s lips was mysterious enough to make her nervous. “I’m not sure.” He said, the smooth rumble of his voice eased her nerves into mild suspicion. “James assured me that it would be an experience I would not soon forget.”

“What a smartass,” inserted Jack with a scoff. Waving on her omni-tool she inspected the schedule displayed in the orange glow. “Well, Lysithea has about fifteen minutes before we’re behind schedule on your sister-in-law’s itinerary.” Looking up from her omni-tool, Jack asked, “She’s planning the entire thing, isn’t she? Why did you bother making me maid of honor instead of Miss Enthusiasm?”

“It was up to chance,” Anya explained with a grin. “I put all of your names into a hat and pulled yours out as maid of honor.” She shrugged and added, “Sorry, Jack-y, you’re stuck with it.”

There was a rap at the door and Oriana opened it to reveal both Lysithea and Zaeed standing on the other side. The mercenary stepped into the apartment, pulling a surprised Oriana into his arms as he said, “Little Lawson, I’m glad to see the family resemblance doesn’t stop at those generous hips.”

Anya smirked at the protective glare that settled into Kolyat’s dark cerulean eyes. She excused herself from Jack’s side and went to intercept the mercenary before the young drell ripped out Zaeed’s good eye. 

“Massani, what are you doing here?” her tone was scolding enough for him to reluctantly release Oriana from the embrace. 

A mischievous smile curled his scarred lips as he wrapped his arms around Anya. “Shepard, hope you don’t mind that I came. When you invited Lys I extended the invitation to myself.”

“Of course you did,” murmured Anya, tightening her arms around his neck until she knew he was uncomfortable. Whispering into his ear, she advised, “I’d keep my hands off of Oriana if I were you. If Miranda doesn’t kill you, Kolyat will.”

Laughing, Zaeed replied, “You know I love a challenge, Shepard.”

Thane appeared behind them and greeted Lysithea while Anya finished reprimanding Zaeed. “It’s good to see you again, Spectre Thracius.”

“You too, Sere Krios,” she shook his hand and then was pulled into Anya’s arms. Laughing, Lysithea wondered, “Did you miss me, Shepard?”

“I did,” Anya held her by the shoulders and took a step back, taking in the sight of the unchanged Spectre. 

Of all her friends gathered around the apartment, she knew Lysithea the shortest amount of time; but she and the turian woman had spent so much of their short time together learning each other’s persona that Anya easily regarded her as one of her closest friends. 

“Massani, you motherfucker,” Jack stomped over, stole Zaeed from Thane, and dragged him toward the bar. “You start tapping that Spectre ass and you forget who your friends are?”

Anya peered back at Lysithea and raised an eyebrow. The turian woman shifted uncomfortably under the weight of Anya’s speculative gaze. “Is there any truth to that?” Anya asked.

Shrugging defensively, Lysithea rebuked, “So what if there is, _mother_."

“I’m not judging,” Anya held her hands up, surrendering before an argument could ensue. “I just didn’t peg you as a xenophile.”

Lysithea’s mandibles flared and her brow plates furrowed agitatedly, appearing to be insulted by Anya’s observation. Giving Thane a glance, she turned her glare back at Anya and growled, “Like you’re one to talk.”

She shook her head as she repeated, “I’m not judging. You can’t help who you love; I know that better than anyone.”

Arching a brow plate, Lysithea asked, “Who said anything about love?”

Anya smirked at her friend before wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Let me introduce you to everyone.”

*

Thane watched as Anya led Lysithea around the room, introducing her to their friends as they made their way through the apartment. He and Anya had made a reluctant return from Rannoch only a few days ago, and upon their arrival Cassandra had already organized this get-together and sent out all the invitations.

To Cassandra’s, and everyone else’s, surprise Anya returned to the Citadel with an enthusiasm for their wedding planning that hadn’t been there before. All it took was a glance at the ring on her finger for them all to realize what had gotten into her.

“Thane,” Liara made her way to his side and followed his gaze to where Anya was introducing Lysithea to James. Glancing back at him, she wondered, “May I have a moment?”

Looking at the beautiful asari woman, he bowed his head and replied, “Of course you may, Dr. T’soni.” He gestured for her to lead the way and quietly followed as she led him toward the office.

Once in the office she continued deeper until they were hidden around the corner, out of sight from any curious gazes. Thane watched her closely, noticing a mixture of nerves and excitement in her blue pigmented features. 

Thane straightened his shoulders and held his hands comfortably at his back. “What is this about, doctor?” he asked.

She offered him a small smile and cleared her throat before speaking. “As I’m sure you know, being the Shadow Broker means that I have a lot of influence in the galaxy’s affairs.” she started, her nervous excitement reverberating in her thick, smoky voice. “I have vast amounts of information at my disposal and the power to make things happen.”

When Thane blinked both his inner and outer lids, patiently waiting for her to continue to her point, she pressed on. “I’ve known Shepard for years now. I’d like to think that I know her dreams and desires almost as well as you do; one of those being to have a family of her own. I want nothing more than for Shepard to be happy, and it just so happens that I’m in a position to help with that.”

“How so?” asked Thane, curious to know where it was Liara was going with this.

“I could help you both get a child,” she stated, and to Thane’s surprised reaction she clarified. “Adoption is no easy thing, even for me, but I could ‘get the ball rolling’, if you will.”

Thane blinked, too stunned to reply or react to her suggestion. After a moment, he shook his head and dared to venture down this road with Liara. 

“You would do that for us?”

The grin that inched across her blue lips informed him how ridiculous she considered his question to be. “I would do anything for Shepard; for both of you.”

Before he could reply, Anya’s voice loudly interrupted their conversation. “Liara,” the amused tone of her voice suggested that one of the others had just made her laugh. “Get your beautiful, blue ass out here! We’re going to be late!”

“I’m coming!” Liara grinned and rolled her eyes at her old friend's antics. Returning her attention to Thane she said, “Think about it,” before leaving him alone with her words and the hope they inspired. All he would be able to do for the foreseeable future was ‘think about it’.

After a moment, he released his sudden nervousness with a sigh. Turning on his heel, he left the office and the conversation behind him for now. All Liara promised was to get the process started, but Thane couldn’t help feeling a certain level of excitement at the thought of giving Anya the very thing she'd thought was lost to her forever.

Kolyat watched him exit the office and, even as Thane trained his expression to stay neutral, he knew his son would be able to tell that something was amiss. He stepped into the living area in time to watch the last of the women exit the apartment. When only the men remained, they turned to face Thane, roguish expressions mirrored across all of their faces.

Strolling up beside him, James wrapped a heavily muscled arm around Thane’s neck and grinned. “Alright, Krios, now that the ladies are gone, let the pre-bachelor party begin.”

“Pre-bachelor party?” Thane gave James a curious look, and then looked around the room waiting for anyone to explain to him what exactly was going on.

Garrus chuckled at the confusion in Thane’s expression and elaborated, “You and Anya have almost all the same friends. When it’s time to actually throw your bachelor and bachelorette parties they’re, in all likelihood, going to be thrown together.”

“We want to give you a bloody send off before you sign your soul to the devil.” Zaeed barked out a laugh. 

Kolyat intervened with a grin, “Anya’s not that bad.”

“No,” James agreed. “She’s worse.” Tightening his arm around Thane’s neck he chuckled, “Good luck with that one, hermano. You’re gonna need it.” He then pulled Thane towards the entertainment area where various tables were set up with cups intricately lined on their surfaces.

Niall stood in the back of the entertainment room, his hands on his hips as he explained, “James wanted to get you black-out drunk before we hit the Silversun Strip.”

“Tell me, Krios,” the grin on James’ face was menacing. “Have you ever played beer pong?”

*

The second they entered the bridal shop, the women dispersed like children in a candy store. Her friends were running up and down the aisles, fawning over dresses, and picking out the ones they liked.

Anya felt like she had died and gone to bridal hell. If she saw anymore white she was going to lose her mind. The only woman that stayed loyally at her side was Jack, and they shared an amused look before continuing further into the sea of billowy white dresses.

A beautiful asari woman in an elegant black dress approached them with a friendly smile on her glossed lips. “Welcome to --”

“Fuck off,” Jack snarled. “If we want your help we’ll let you know.”

When the shocked woman nodded and left them to their business, Anya shook her head and sighed. “And this is why I made you maid of honor instead of Cassandra.”

“I’m here to help,” replied Jack with a grin.

“Shep,” Kasumi’s voice called from behind them, but when Anya turned to find her friend she was met with empty space. Already losing her patience, Anya turned back around in time to witness Kasumi’s tactical cloak shudder. When the petite woman reappeared, Anya was blinded by the glittering jewelry piled on around her neck. 

There was a girlish grin on her lips as Kasumi said, “They have a jewelry store.”

Jack and Anya shook their heads at the same time for completely different reasons. Crossing her arms, Jack grumbled, “Fucking idiots; they’re just asking to get robbed.”

Kasumi nodded in agreement.

Sighing, Anya pinched the bridge of her nose and tightly clasped her eyes shut. “Seriously Kasumi? What’s my _one_ rule?”

The thief’s jaw dropped before she snapped her mouth shut and pointed her abashed gaze at her feet. Sounding and looking very much like a reprimanded child, Kasumi murmured, “Five minutes.”

“Five minutes,” Anya held up the appropriate amount of fingers. “At least give me five minutes in a place before you rob them blind. That’s all I ask for.”

Kasumi pouted. She protested, “But it took me only two minutes to disarm their security. It’s like Jack said,” gesturing towards the biotic she continued, “They were practically begging for me to do it. And look,” she held out one of the diamond necklaces. “It’s so shiny.”

Pegging her friend with a serious look, Anya crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. Before she could voice her surrender on the topic, Cassandra, Tali, and her mother appeared with piles of dresses stacked high in their arms. “Oh no,” she exhaled as an unreasonable fear swelled up inside of her.

“Oh yes,” Cassandra replied happily. Her grin expanded from one ear to the other as she explained, “You have to try on all of them!”

Anya gave Jack a desperate glance and pleaded, “Help me.”

Shaking her head, a sinister smirk twisted the corners of her darkly painted lips. “Sorry, Shepard. I can’t bail you out of this one.”

“I thought you were here to help,” Anya argued.

“I am,” Jack agreed, her smirk grew. “I just didn’t say who I was here to help.”

Nodding in acknowledgement of Jack’s betrayal, Anya assured her, “I’ll remember that,  Jack.” and allowed herself to be dragged away by the other women to try on wedding dresses.

__

They were only ten dresses in and the pile of dresses waiting to be tried on appeared to be growing in size. Anya tugged her way through one of the mermaid dresses Cassandra had selected for her, grunting and growling as she tried to locate the light at the end of her tight fitting tunnel.

At the sound of her struggles Cassandra and Jack both entered the fitting room, hoping to rescue Anya from suffocating in the form fitted dress. Cassandra tugged the dress down Anya’s body for a second before checking for something.

Giving Anya a flabbergasted look, her sister-in-law scolded her with a teasing simper, “It would probably help if you undid the zipper.”

When Jacked barked out a laugh, Anya turned a pointed glare at the tattooed woman, silencing her but still unable to wipe off that goading smirk completely. The zipper came undone and the dress seemed to relax, it and Anya both sighing in relief at the extra breathing room. 

“I swear to the gods, Cas,” Anya started as she straightened out her shoulders and corrected her posture. “If I have to try on another ten dresses, I’m going to shoot this place up.” She gasped when Cassandra yanked up the zipper and vacuum sealed her into the dress.

Kneeling down, Cassandra grabbed the dress by the seams and yanked them into place. As she worked she grumbled, “Well maybe if you didn’t complain so much, we would have found the dress already.”

“Well maybe if we’d already found the dress, I wouldn’t be complaining.” Anya rebutted. When Cassandra stood back up they all peered into the mirror to watch Anya’s reaction to the dress.

Disappointed, Anya released another sigh and glared at herself in the mirror. She hated it. The dress was too form fitting. It followed her curves like a stalker at midnight and left very little to the imagination. It looked like something Miranda would wear. 

“Damn, Shepard,” Jack whistled. “Who knew you had such a nice ass?”

“This is news to you?” Anya scoffed. “You followed me for a year, Jack. My amazing ass shouldn’t be anything new.”

With a scoff, Jack replied, “More like I warmed the bench for a year. The only time that you didn’t take either Thane or Garrus out with you on missions was when they were too exhausted and were ordered by Chakwas to sit one out.”

Cutting into their conversation before it could escalate into an argument, Cassandra asked, “So do you like it?”

Anya shook her head in answer. “It doesn’t feel right,” she explained. “It doesn’t feel like me.”

“That dress has Miranda written all over it,” Jack agreed.

“I heard my name,” Miranda’s called from just outside the fitting room door. “Come on out, Shepard, the girls want to see how it looks on you.”

Inhaling a calming breath, Anya did as she was asked and dared to exit the fitting room and face the cackling hyenas she called friends. As predicted the women were able to bite back their laughter for a grand total of two seconds before the cackling began.

Anya narrowed her gaze on the women and growled, “Laugh it up, ladies. Some of you forget that I’m still choosing the bridesmaids' dresses.”

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Hannah Shepard tamed her laugh to a soft chuckle before she explained, “It’s not the dress, the dress is lovely and looks lovely on you.”

“It’s how you _look_ in the dress,” Oriana shamelessly explained with a taunting grin. “If it didn’t look like you hate the dress so much, it wouldn’t be as funny.”

Neelah, who had been the only one kind enough not to laugh at Anya’s personal hell, approached with another dress in hand. Anya might have rolled her eyes at being handed yet another dress, but the expression on the young batarian woman’s features gave her pause. 

“I saw one and I thought it would be perfect for you,” she said as she handed the dress off to Anya. “it looks like something Thane would love to see you wear.”

She ran her fingers over the delicate lace and beading, examining the strenuous effort that went into putting the dress together. Anya looked back up at Neelah and smiled in gratitude. “I’ll try this one on next.”

“What about mine?” Kasumi protested, gesturing toward the white mini-dress that wasn’t even cocktail party appropriate.

“I’ll wear yours during the honeymoon,” Anya said to placate the small woman. She returned to the fitting room and felt like a snake shedding its skin as she peeled the dress from her body. 

She took a moment to admire the beautiful dress Neelah had chosen for her. On the hanger it looked very old fashioned and conservative. Though the lace design was intricate, the dress itself was delicate and simple, unlike the attention grabbing styles she had tried on up until now.

Steeling herself, Anya restored her resolve and removed the white dress from the hanger. She suddenly felt nervous, her insides knotting and twisting in a way she wasn’t familiar with.

Anya turned her back to the mirror while she pulled on the dress. This one was different, she could feel it as the lace slid over her body. Even without seeing her reflection, she knew that this was the one. The zipper pulled together with ease, and she felt feminine without being overly sensual. Chewing on her lip, Anya opened the fitting room door.

There was a collective gasp as she exited the dressing room. The entire bridal store seemed to still and watch her as Anya made her way to the mirror. A grin spread over her lips as she took in the sight of her reflection.

The dress was elegant, classic, and classy in a way that Anya had only ever seen in old vids. Cassandra came up behind her and fanned out the lacy train that followed her up the few steps of the elevated mirror. Peering at her reflection, Anya covered her trembling lips with a hand as overwhelming emotion swelled inside of her.

She had never seen anything so perfect in all her life. The dress cascaded over her body like silk, accenting her feminine curves without announcing them outrageously. Her collarbone and neck actually looked delicate thanks to the sweetheart neckline. And the carefully beaded lace sleeves made Anya feel refined. She felt like a bride.

Hannah Shepard stood from her seat and joined her daughter in front of the mirror. There were tears in her spring green eyes as her gaze met Anya’s in the mirror, and her chin trembled as she struggled with her own emotion. Holding her by the shoulders, Hannah took in the sight of her daughter before stating, “ _This_ is the dress.”

Nodding, Anya gazed upon her reflection and admired the elegant woman in the looking glass. “I’m getting married,” she grinned, her own tears spilling onto her cheeks. It was finally setting in. Anya was getting married and it was to the most perfect of men.

“We’re getting married!” Cassandra clapped as she did a happy dance at the bottom of the steps.


	34. Chapter 34

Thane breathed in as the light breeze whispered over him. This wasn’t his first time on Elysium; he had visited previously, several times actually. One of his most memorable and difficult jobs had been on Elysium. It was here that he had learned the depths of human ingenuity and paranoia. A combination that still sometimes surprised him to this day.

The sound of Anya’s contagious laughter pulled Thane from his thoughts and turned his attention through the sliding glass door. He had stepped out of the loaned lodge for a breath of fresh air. Their friends might argue that the distance between them and the nightlife was obscene; but it was only to provoke Cassandra, who would heatedly remind them that they were a short drive from the estate that was hosting their wedding.

They were currently using the forest enveloped cabin as a meeting point. Tonight was the night before he and Anya exchanged vows, and it was human custom to celebrate the last night of ‘freedom’ with debauchery. Thane smirked as he recalled a salarian from Ilium who’d said it best, “ _I don’t understand. Humans celebrate wedding contracts by tempting infidelity? That makes no sense!_ ”

If he dared to protest tonight’s plans, Thane would be met by heated resistance. There was no debating with their human friends. They believed that if there was one human tradition worth preserving it was a man’s -- and woman’s -- right to a bachelor party. Who was Thane to argue with tradition?

Giving the darkening sky one last glance, Thane traded the cool outdoors for the emotional warmth inside of the cabin.

“Thane!” James shouted from the dining area. There was a playful grin on his mouth as he waved Thane over. “I need you to settle something for me.”

The men gathered around the table began to chuckle as Thane approached. Their attention was divided between watching him cross the room towards the table, and exchanging plotting looks with their ringleader. Normally the presence of Garrus, Michael, Niall, and Kolyat would have been comforting, but the conniving expressions they now wore made Thane wary of what he was walking into.

“We’re discussing targets,” James explained as Thane took a spot among them. “When closing the deal do you prefer quick and painless, or to drop a line and walk away?”

Thane raised an eyebrow. “The only time you walk away from a target is after they are dead,” he answered, unsure as to what this was really about.

“ _Dios_ , Krios, you really are a ladykiller,” James commented with a grin.

Also smiling at Thane’s expense, Michael explained what Vega was truly asking. “He’s talking about picking up women.”

Now that he understood, Thane gave James a skeptical look and wondered, “What part of picking up a woman is quick and painless?”

The others also gave James expectant looks, who held up his hands defensively. “Don’t give me that look, _cabron_ ; don’t hate the player, hate the game.”

“You couldn’t play the game if it was as easy as arm wrestling Joker.” Jack’s voice joined their conversation. Her grin grew at the sound of Joker's insulted, " _Hey_ " in the background. She was leaning on the door frame that led to the family room, a foxy simper on her darkly painted lips. 

James bristled at her jibe for a second before allowing a rivaling smirk to twist the corners of his mouth. “You doubt my game, sweetheart?”

“Don’t call me that,” Jack growled before she answered. “I have complete confidence in your total lack of game.”

Crossing his thick arms in front of his wide chest, James gave Jack a competitive look as he purposed a challenge. “I bet I can get you into bed with me by the end of the night without buying you a single drink.” To the narrowed look Jack gave him, James shrugged. “Unless of course, you’re too afraid you might fall victim to my total dominance over the game.”

A sneer curled Jack’s lip as she glared at James. “I’m not afraid of shit; least of all you, Jarhead.” Pushing herself off of the doorframe, Jack carelessly strode the distance between them until she was standing toe to toe with James. “I’ll take you up on that bet; and _when_ you lose, you have to be my little bitch-boy until we leave this miserable planet.”

The smile that inched across James’ mouth was of premature victory as he leaned his face down towards hers a bit. “Should we seal the deal with a kiss?” he wondered, his face near hers without ever actually touching her.

Jack tilted her face up, their lips a hair’s breadth away from making contact, and said, “If you don’t get out of my face, I’m going to castrate you.”

“I love it when you talk dirty to me,” James replied but backed away before she could make good on her threat.

Grinning wolfishly up at James, Jack peered at their audience for a moment before informing all of them, “The cabs are here to take us into town. I was sent here to tell you to meet us at Lookers at 1500.”

“We’ll be there,” James assured her with a grin. “And _I’ll_ see _you_ later.”

Jack chuckled and shook her head before leaving them with a wave. The women could be heard leaving the cabin with shouts and laughter, abandoning the men to fend for themselves until they ran into each other again throughout the night.

Everyone returned their attention to James, Garrus and Thane shared a look before shaking their heads in unison.

With a flap of his mandibles, Garrus said, “I hope you know what you’re getting yourself into, Vega.”

James gave the group of men an exasperated look. “Come on, guys. Have a little confidence in my abilities.”

“We do,” Kolyat assured him with a smirk. “But that has to be a lose lose if I’ve ever seen one.”

“What are you talking about?” The confidence in James’ brown eyes was slowly waning as he inspected the features of the men around him. “It’ll be fine,” he scanned over them. “Right? There’s no way that she’s _that_ crazy. Right?”

Thane and Garrus shared another glance before grinning at the marine. Without placating him with an answer, Thane gestured for them to get a move on. “We should round up the rest of the men.” To James he said, “You were going to give me an unforgettable bachelor party.”

“You know, just because drell have perfect memory, doesn’t mean that we don’t repress things,” stated Kolyat with an eyeroll.

“Well, in that case, tonight’s going to be a night you’ll never repress,” said James with a chuckle. “No matter how badly you’ll   
want to.”

*

The cabs dropped them off in the center of Elysium’s nightlife, where tall buildings and neon lights had them surrounded. The rhythmic thumping of competing clubs made the earth shake beneath their feet; and the sounds and smells of a city alive lured them to join in on the promised and promoted fun.

Anya took in the electrifying city, feeling the resonating energy spark inside of her. “So what’s on the agenda?” she asked no one in particular.

They all looked to Cassandra by habit, and the woman held up her hands and shook her head. “Don’t look at me. I’m just the wedding planner.” Pointing their attention to the tattoo covered woman, she said, “The bachelorette party is the maid of honor’s responsibility.”

The grin that crawled across Jack’s lips immediately made Anya nervous. “First we’re going to get you good and drunk. Then we’re going to go on a scavenger hunt I’ve sent to all of your omni-tools.” When the women waved on their glowing orange devices to read over the scavenger list provided, Jack wondered, “So who’s up for jello shots?”

There was a collective uproar of approval and they all moved towards the first bar in sight, prepared to cross off the first item on the scavenger hunt. They picked Anya up off of her feet and carried her across the bar’s threshold.

*

The drinking establishment had already been bursting at the seams before their horde forced their way towards the bar. The men made a path and James led Thane to the bar with an arm around his shoulders.

Waving for the bartender’s attention, James said, “Go on, Krios, pick your poison. Your drinks are on me tonight.”

Thane ordered a scotch on the rocks, only to be booed by his companions. James let Thane have his scotch but ordered a round of vodka -- and the dextro-friendly equivalent -- and asked to keep them coming as the men played a game of shot for shot.

Thane was smart enough to take his time nursing his drink, sitting back as he quietly enjoyed watching his friends get more and more inebriated as they tried to outdo each other. The species of male didn’t matter, they were all the same; throw in some alcohol and a little competition, and stupidity ensued.

They were only six shots in and James was already running bets to prove his manliness. He and Garrus where having an intense staring contest, the men surrounding them barking like dogs as they coaxed the men to blink. When James was the first blink Garrus threw his arms up in victory and ordered James to take two more shots.

With his penalty shots down the hatch, James waited for Garrus to dish out the rest of his punishment. The turian picked up a half full bottle of hot sauce and planted it on the table between him and James. When James gave him a curious look, Garrus’s mandibles flared with amusement and he said, “Drink up.”

James took the bottle of hot sauce between his fingers and gave it a resentful look before turning his gaze to Thane. “What’ll it be this time, _jefe_?”

Smirking, Thane and Garrus shared a nod. “If you can’t finish the bottle you will have to get a tattoo of Garrus’s likeness.”

“A tattoo,” he gave both Garrus and Thane a doubtful look. “Where and how big?”

“The size of your palm and right over your heart,” Garrus answered, he glanced at Thane for his approval and Thane nodded that he had it.

James gave the small bottle of hot sauce another reproachful look. Lifting an eyebrow, he asked, “And if I drink all of it?”

Thane smiled at the marine and shrugged. “Then you get to live the rest of your life with the satisfaction of knowing that you can drink half a bottle of hot sauce.”

After a moment of consideration, then self-doubt, James hyped himself up enough to unscrew the cap off of the hot sauce bottle and bring it up to his mouth. Before pressing it to his lips, James muttered, “I can feel my butthole burning already,” and tilted   
the fiery red liquid up, pouring it into his mouth.

James was able to get down three gulps before he convulsed, nearly spraying the hot sauce through his puckered lips and all over his cheering audience. He set the hot sauce back down on the counter, glaring at what little liquid remained in the bottle. When he looked back up to meet Thane’s gaze, there was a pleading gleam to his eyes.

Smirking, Thane asked the others, “To the tattoo parlor?”

“To the tattoo parlor!” They all shouted in unison, holding up their drinks and bumping their glasses together in cheers.

*

“Keelah,” Tali’s voice sounded over the sensual grind of the club’s music. She was gaping at the stage, her glowing eyes wide as she mumbled, “Is that an elcor stripper?”

“It is!” answered Cassandra, as she crossed another item off of her scavenger hunt list.

Anya laughed to keep from cringing at the trunk-less elephant’s slow and passionate movements. The discomfort she felt now was exactly how she remembered Kolyat describing one of her favorite pair of boots. Later she would have to get rid of those boots and the memory she’d now associate with them. 

After bar hopping for a good portion of the night they had finally made it to Lookers. Neelah, the youngest of them, had to be dragged and held up before they even entered their third bar; and they still had the last half of the scavenger hunt to finish. Jack and Lysithea placed the young batarian woman down in one of the booths before joining Anya in gaping at the stage.

Lysithea’s mandibles flared as she chuckled. “She’s surprisingly graceful,” she observed with another laugh.

“It’s actually not all that surprising,” commented Liara as she joined the Spectres in spectating the ongoing performance. Placing her hands on her hips, she observed, “When the gravity of your homeworld is strong enough to kill you from a fall, grace is a means of survival.”

“She’s like a walking, talking encyclopedia when she’s drunk,” Jack said with only the quietest note of annoyance. “Isn’t she?”

“The night is still young, Jacky,” answered Anya with a grin. “You haven’t seen anything yet.”

Jack’s omni-tool dinged and when she read the incoming message a grin crawled over her lips. “You’re right,” she said, her grin growing even more. “The guys are here; and, for better or worse, we’re all going to leave this shithole a little wiser.”

That statement, along with Jack’s smile, made Anya nervous. She didn’t have any time to dwell on it as the sound of their male counterparts entered the strip club, loudly announcing their arrival with drunken shouting and primal male whooping. Smiling, she turned to watch as the two parties combined into one large, loud crowd of drunken idiots.

Niall hurried to the booth where his girlfriend was slumped, snoring softly as she used her arm as a pillow. The couples paired up to exchanged the evening’s stories. Anya curiously watched Jack and James traded teasing smirks before her attention was stolen by Thane.

“Are you enjoying yourself tonight, Siha?” He asked, the smirk on his lips gave away that her mate was just a little bit tipsy.

Anya smiled up at him and nodded, in no condition to judge him while she was nearly drunk herself. “I am, Krios. And you?”

“I am as well.” His smirk turned devilish and he erased what little distance had stood between them. Cupping her cheek in his hand, Thane thumbed over Anya’s bottom lip and looked down at her with a hooded gaze. “But I can think of a way to make it even more enjoyable.”

Her body reacted to Thane’s immediately, a fire spurring to life in the deep of her belly. “Oh?” she purred, stepping closer still until her body was pressed against his. “And what is that?”

“Hey!” James’ loud voice forced the both of them apart with a leap. He then squeezed between them and ordered, “You know the tradition, kids. No sex the night before the wedding.” Placing a hand on both of their shoulders he pushed them even further apart. “Leave twelve inches for Jesus,” his gaze went from her to him then back to her. “He’s watching.”

Glaring at the marine, Anya felt her hackles rise at being denied her mate. The corner of her mouth twitched as her glare narrowed, “Let him watch. Give me a minute with Thane and I’ll show you a holy twelve inches, James.” His eyes widened with horror and Anya pushed it further. “It’ll have me screaming ‘Oh God’ all night long.”

A devilish grin crawled across Thane’s mouth, the look he gave her promised to make good on those words.

His wide eyes didn’t leave Anya’s as James shouted for help. “Jack!” When she came running, James instructed, “Make sure she stays away from him. The last thing that we need is for their yearny loins to ruin tradition.”

Jack smiled and did as she was told. Hooking her arm through Anya’s she led her through the lines of tables and seats until they found a place in the front row. The elcor dancer had already made her exit of the stage, and the lights were dimming for the next performance. Anya prepared herself for the upcoming experience with a grin, knowing that she wasn’t anywhere near drunk enough to erase this memory from her mind.

As the lights dimmed the overly dramatic masculine voice sounded over the strip clubs speakers, introducing the next performer as though she were an artist performing at a concert instead of a common stripper in front of strangers of varying social standing. 

Anya clapped enthusiastically as _Rosa Azul_ strutted onto the stage. She was a voluptuous asari woman, smirking sensuously at the cat calls and wolf whistles thrown her way. The music started and she began to move her body, her hips swaying to and fro in a hypnotizing rhythm. Anya was mesmerized by the the asari as she dipped and arched her body, gripping the stripper pole in her palm before spinning then climbing the reflective metal. Anya could finally appreciate the artistry that was the woman’s livelihood.

Waving on her omni-tool, Anya was inebriated enough to tip the asari a bit too generously as she voiced her appreciation of the the asari’s performance.

Beside her, Jack put her thumb and index finger into her mouth and let out a sharp whistle. James, who had taken a place in the seat behind them, leaned forward until his face was hovering between her and Jack. Grinning at Jack, he wondered, “You enjoying the show, _mi tesoro_?”

“Blue isn’t typically my taste,” Jack admitted to James with a playful laugh. Shrugging she finished, “But I can see the appeal.”

James draped his arm over the back of Jack’s chair. The smile that stretched across his lips was the definition of trouble. “And what are your tastes?”

Grinning, Jack mirrored James’s mischievous simper with a well practiced one of her own. She gestured toward the stage and said, “Get up there and dance for me, and maybe we’ll find out what exactly my tastes are.”

He gave Anya a brief look, but all Anya could do was gape dumbly at their flirtatious exchange. Rubbing his chin, he considered her proposition for a moment. James nodded curtly and pushed himself out of his seat. Excusing himself, he squeezed free from the row of seats and headed towards the back.

Jack watched him go, her eyes following his back until he disappeared behind a velvet curtain. “Shit,” she chuckled. “He’s really going to do it, isn’t he?”

“He’s been taking bets all night,” Niall informed them over the loud music. “He hasn’t turned one down yet.”

Laughing loudly, Jack shook her head at the thought. “This should be good.”

Anya glanced over her shoulder to where Thane was seated, and he shrugged in answer to her questioning look. Shaking her head she redirected her attention to the asari dancer and tried to appreciate the rest of the show. It seemed as though her friends were enjoying this bachelor party a little too much.

The audience applauded as _Rosa Azul_ left the stage and the announcer’s voice sounded over the speakers again.

“ _Ladies and gentlemen, introducing our newest attraction; an exotic beauty from our home planet Earth. Put your hands together for pretty boy, Jimmy Vagrant._ ”

Her friends looked at one another curiously, trying to locate James among their group until the house lights shut off, the stage’s back lights the only ones in the club brightly shining. A bulky male silhouette was posed like a contestant in the centuries old ‘Mr. Universe’ contests. The front lights that flashed on with a red filter gave the stage a passionate tone, revealing a shirtless James. 

He was still dressed in his bottoms, and the dress cuffs around his wrists and bowtied collar fastened to his neck implied that his bare chest was clothing enough. It was then that Anya noticed the fresh tattoo covering Vega’s left pectoral muscle, the irritated red skin encircling what looked like Garrus’ face surrounded by artful text professed how recently he had it done.

The music started, a lively latin beat that James easily moved along to. He pelvic thrusted his way to center stage, where he started to undo his belt. The cheering crowd pushed him on, and James whipped the belt from its loops to then use it as a prop. As the song reached it’s climax James ripped off his pants and threw them to where Jack was shouting in the front row.

Anya gasped in horror before laughing hysterically at James’s leopard print banana hammock. She didn’t know what scared her more, the thought that James might actually walk around with animal print underwear, or that he picked it up and put it on in the back before coming up on stage.

Pointing at Jack, James did a series of passionate and sensual movements that caused an uproar in the crowd. When Anya glanced over at her tattoo covered friend, she could have sworn that the typically loud mouth woman was blushing under her appreciative grin.

When the music came to an end James bowed in gratitude of the standing ovation he received for his performance. The audience continued cheering as James struck pose after pose, until the announcer’s voice dismissed him from the stage. James left his adoring public with another bow.

As he rejoined their party, he accepted his pants back from Jack with an overly confident grin. “Was that to your taste, _mi corazon_?”

Anya had never seen Jack smile so widely as she did when returning his grin. “Did they teach you that in basic, marine?”

“You can blame that on natural talent,” James answered with a wink. His grin grew as he pulled his pants up over his outrageous undergarments. Giving Anya a cheeky simper, he continued, “Let’s hope for Lola’s sake that she has some natural talent herself.”

Blinking, Anya gave James a confused look. “What’s that supposed to me--”

The announcer’s voice interrupted her question, and one of the dancers walked onto the stage, dragging a chair behind her as she strutted. “ _And for our next performance we would like to invite bachelor Thane Krios onto the stage._ ”

Anya’s gaze found Thane’s and they shared a surprised look. When their friends and the rest of the club started hollering for Thane to take his place on stage, he conceded with a stoic -- if somewhat nervous -- smile. Anya’s blood started to boil with fury at the thought of her mate receiving a public lapdance by a filthy stripper whore. Her blood then froze as the announcer continued with his introduction.

“ _Lookers would like to make one of Mr. Krios’ wildest fantasies come to life the night before his wedding. A dance from the one and only Commander Shepard. Join me in giving Cinnamon Sprinkles, a Commander Shepard lookalike, a warm welcome_!”

The glare that she gave James was so murderous he should have fallen lifeless at her feet. The spotlight found her in the front row and all of their friends demanded that Anya get on stage. Meeting Thane’s smiling eyes, Anya gave the crowd an anxious once over before steeling her nerves and allowing herself to be shoved onto the stage. 

She was so going to murder James for this, then she was going to bring him back, only to murder him again. If there was any good to come out of him volunteering her for a strip show, it was that at least this way it wouldn’t be some skanky stranger dancing all over her mate; and Anya could dance . . . a little. She’d watched old burlesque vids once or twice in her curious and adventurous youth. She’d also been to Afterlife and Chora’s den enough times to pick up some moves; right? Gods, Anya hoped so. She tried to hype herself up as she made her way on stage.  

When Anya was standing on stage, the grin Thane gave her filled her with enough confidence to at least try. This was her bachelorette party too, and if she hadn’t done anything yet to make a complete and utter fool out of herself then she was doing it wrong. Taking a deep breath, she decided that she wasn’t going to worry about the lights or the crowd. It was just her and   
Thane, alone, and she was going to give him a show he wouldn’t soon forget.

The music started and Anya couldn’t help but laugh. James was definitely going to get it as soon as she was done.

_Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets_

She swayed her hips with the slow sensual rhythm, tracing the outline of her body with her hands as she raised them above her head.

_And little man, little Lola wants you_

Pointing at Thane, she approached him slowly, her eyes on his like a predator hunting her prey.

_Make up your mind to have, no regrets_

_Recline yourself, resign yourself you're through_

She placed her hand on Thane’s firm chest as she circled around him, dragging her fingers over his body until she was on the other side of his chair. Dipping down low, she held the back of Thane’s seat as she pulled her arched body back up like she had seen the dancers in Chora’s Den do in the past. Her movements received the desired reaction and Anya couldn’t help her grin in hearing the crowd whoop and holler at her performance.

As she made her way back around the front of the chair, Anya peeled off her shirt, balled it up, and threw it at Thane. He caught her blouse with grin that set her body on fire. There were dark promises in the inky depths of his eyes that needed no words for her to understand. The moment they were alone, she was his and that was just how Anya liked it.  
Standing with her back to Thane, Anya undid the buttons of her pants, rocking her body as she undid the zipper and danced her way out of them  
 _  
I always get, what I aim for_

_And your heart and soul, is what I came for._

_Whatever Lola wants, Lola gets_

The rhythm dipped and Anya collapsed with it, falling onto her knees and throwing her long crimson hair back. Arching her back, she gave the crowd a generous view of her ass, while letting Thane gander at her breasts. The music picked up again and Anya crawled like a wild cat towards Thane until she was kneeling in front of him. She could tell from his tight pants that he was enjoying the show as much as their vocal audience. A sultry smirk coiled the corner of her mouth.

_Take off your coat, Don't you know you can't win_

Running her hands up his legs, she pulled herself towards him until she was close enough to feel his hot, controlled breathing against her face. She twisted with the beat, turning her body so she could use Thane’s legs to support her weight as she threw   
her hair back.  
 _  
You're no exception to the rule,_

_I'm irrezeestable you fool, Give in_

The song ended with Anya in Thane’s lap and the club roaring in approval of the performance. Thane ran his hand up her back and pulled her up to him until her body was pressed against his chest. Brushing aside her tousled crimson hair, he whispered into her ear, “How about a private performance?”

Before she could reply the announcer came over the club’s speakers again, dismissing them from the stage for the following act. Anya turned toward the audience and bowed deeply in gratitude of the loud praise her dance was receiving. Picking her clothes off of the stage, Anya followed Thane down the side steps and into the back room.

As soon as they stepped into backstage, Thane pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips fiercely against hers. Combing his fingers through her hair, he growled, “Do you want me, Lola?”

Anya nodded, her nails digging into Thanes back as she draped a leg around his waist and he pressed her up against the wall. “So badly,” she groaned, pulling his shirt up his back.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” the infuriating sound of James’ voice stopped them from progressing any further.

She felt Thane vibrate with anger, a growl sounding from inside his chest, and she felt the very same way. Boring one of her most pointed glares into the marine she hissed, “I will end you James. Take one more step forward, say one more word, and I _will_ kill you.”

James shrugged off her threats but stopped in his tracks at the sight of Thane’s angry gaze. “Come on, guys,” he held up his hands defensively when Thane’s lip pulled back into a snarl. “Tradition,” he reminded them.

Burying his face into her neck, Thane grumbled, “If I have to wait another night to possess you, I will lose my mind.”

Anya lowered her leg from Thane’s waist and comfortingly patted his back as she gently pushed him off of her. With a sigh she observed, “Distance makes the heart grow fonder, right?” To the narrowed look Thane gave her she shrugged, “Tomorrow it would be against tradition for you _not_ to fuck me.”

A few feet away, James groaned, “That’s gross.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be seducing Jack?” She reminded him. “Keep it up, Vega, and I’ll make sure that neither of us get laid tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that Shepard dances to is Sarah Vaughan ft Hugo Peretti & His Studio Orchestra - Whatever Lola Wants (Mercury Records 1955)
> 
> Here's the Youtube link to that if you'd like  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMXQJGMa1w4


	35. Chapter 35

“No, you idiot,” Cassandra’s voice could be heard from the hallway as she berated some poor banquet server who hadn’t been able to get out of her way fast enough. “Five o’clock, have you ever even seen a clock face before?”

Shaking her head, Anya focused on the sway of the tree branches just outside the estate’s windows. She leaned against the window panel and brushed aside the curtain, trying to ignore her sister-in-law as she tore into the underpaid staff.

It was a beautiful day, not a cloud in the sky--a good day to get married. She let out a nervous sigh and hugged her arms around her body. Anya didn’t understand why she felt nervous. She and Thane were already mated. This ceremony was just a formality for her friends and family. Yet she couldn’t ignore the butterflies fluttering in her belly.

Cassandra burst in through the door, a welcome distraction from the tightness in Anya’s chest, and threw herself onto the chaise in the center of the room. Sighing dramatically, she flung her arm over her face and cried, “It’s ruined, the whole thing is ruined.”

Anya smiled softly as she turned away from the window and moved to join Cassandra on the chaise. Sitting down beside her feet, Anya asked, “What’s ruined?”

“The wedding,” Lifting her arm a bit to peek at Anya, Cassandra explianed. “You might as well call it all off; there’s no coming back from this.”

“I tried to call it off,” Anya reminded her with a teasing smirk. “I didn’t even want a wedding, but here we are. So tell me, beloved sister, what has ruined my special day so completely?”

The look on Cassandra’s face was of utter defeat as she confessed, “The tea cups.”

For a moment, Anya thought she hadn’t heard correctly. “The tea cups?” she repeated, hoping that she really had heard her wrong.

Cassandra nodded. “First, they came in a forest green setting. Forest green.”

“That’s outrageous!”

Her sister-in-law nodded in agreement as she continued. “I ordered hunter green and jade, not forest green. And then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, these idiots place them on the table with the handles facing the wrong direction.” 

Sitting up she spoke more fervently, as though trying to make Anya understand the true travesty of the situation. “I know it’s been a really long time since we, as a species, switched over to military time; but how hard is it to figure out five o’clock. I mean, it’s five o’clock at least twice a day.”

“You’re right,” Anya nodded at Cassandra as though she understood her on a level that transcended the spiritual. “Round everyone up and send them home. The teacup handles aren’t pointed at five o’clock, the day is ruined. My wedding is ruined.”

They shared a look for a moment before a giggle burst from Cassandra. She covered her mouth with a hand to stifle her laughter and nodded, conceding to Anya’s unvoiced observation. “Okay, you’re right. I might be overreacting just a bit.”

“Cassandra,” Anya gave her a teasing look. “You ‘overreacted’ to my strip tease last night. Today you are being a complete bridezilla.”

“I know, I know,” she leaned back against the chaise and sighed. When her gaze met Anya’s again there was a sincerity to her honey brown irises that was deeply touching. “I just wanted to make sure that everything was perfect today. It’s your wedding, it needs to be perfect.”

Anya placed her hand on top of Cassandra’s and smiled gently at her sister-in-law, flattered and humbled by how much she cared for her. Patting her hand, Anya assured her, “And it will be. You’ve already made it perfect, now sit back and watch all of your hard work fall into place.”

She breathed in a calming breath and exhaled her pent up concerns. Giving Anya a soft smile, Cassandra said, “I can at least try.” After a second her smile grew and she wondered, “Where did you learn to dance like that anyway?”

Shrugging, Anya admitted, “Observation mostly. Between Chora’s Den, Afterlife, and people watching at Purgatory I had some pretty good references.”

A disappointed expression fell over Cassandra’s features at Anya’s lackluster explanation. “Well that was underwhelming. Here I was, expecting you to tell me about your rebellious stint where you ran off with a band of asari maidens and danced across the galaxy before joining the Alliance.”

Anya laughed at her sister-in-law’s imagination and shook her head at the thought. “Out of the Shepard children, your husband is the rebellious one. We’re a military family; our lineage dates back to well before the Civil War, and Kael has the gall to turn his back on centuries of tradition and take the unbeaten path.” 

She shook her head, remembering the heart attack that Admiral Michael Shepard had almost had.  “Not only did he decide to go to college instead of enlisting, but not three months later he called saying that you were knocked up and that you two were getting hitched.”

She smiled at Anya’s story, pleased with herself and the turn of events that was her marriage. “I think it worked out pretty well, don’t you?’

“Of course I do,” Anya also smiled at the daytime drama that was Kael’s life. “My brother’s happy, my niece and nephew are happy and healthy, and I got an amazing sister and spectacular wedding planner out of his misbehavior.” Pulling Cassandra into a tight embrace, Anya stroked her sister-in-law’s hair as she continued. “I’ve always envied my brother for what he has with you, and now I get to have that for myself.”

Cassandra squeezed her back, tightening her arms around Anya’s waist as she agreed. “You and Thane are really amazing together. I’m so happy for the both of you.”

As they parted from their embrace, Hannah Shepard entered the room with the bridesmaids in tow. “Here are my lovely girls.” 

They were all done up in lovely formal dresses, but Hannah’s was the most elegant. The matriarch Shepard was sheathed in a fine beige dress that slid flatteringly down her body and hemmed just above her knees. The bust of the dress was garnished with a delicate lace, and the A-line collar was held up by a fine opaque fabric. 

Her bridesmaids also looked elegant in their dresses imported from the finest designers on Earth. They were floor length gowns, made from an expensive fabric in a form flattering shade of maroon. The low cut collar, which Jack was thrilled about, pulled around the neckline and was held together by an emerald encrusted golden chain that fell down the backless dresses and dangled against their spines. 

Tali’s dress had to be custom made by an upcoming quarian fashion designer. The expensive maroon fabric wrapped snuggly around her bust and torso before slitting down the middle and draping around her legs like a velvet curtain in a twentieth century theatre. Her enviro-suit was an exquisite second skin and she kept the golden collar around her neck, accentuating the dress in a regal fashion that very few women could ever pull off. They were all gorgeous, and Anya doubted that she would be able to compare.

Hannah approached Anya, setting her hands on the younger woman’s shoulder as she gazed at her daughter with love and adoration in her spring green eyes. After a second she asked, “Why aren’t you wearing your dress already?”

Anya looked down at the slip she had on and shrugged, “I don’t want it to wrinkle?”

Before Hannah could reply, Jack said to Cassandra, “Hey, trophy-wife, I think the banquet staff is setting the cake up with the little statue Shepard and Krios facing the wrong direction.”

Groaning, Cassandra picked herself up off of the chaise and stormed out the door. 

“I sit down for five minutes and the whole thing comes down like a house of cards.” She was already halfway down the hall and her voice could still be heard as she hunted down the unfortunate staff. “I swear to God, if the icing is messed up on that cake I will maim all of you.”

Jack smirked at the other bridesmaids and commented, “She’s pretty scary for a civilian, isn’t she?”

“I’m a civilian,” reminded Oriana, giving the biotic woman a small smile. “You don’t think I’m scary?”

The look that Jack gave her was playfully demeaning. “You’re about as scary as Tali’s drone.”

Gasping at the offense, Tali argued, “Chatika is terrifying, you bosh'tet. I’ve had enemies die from the sight of her alone.”

Jack quirked an eyebrow and teased, “Die of laughter?”

“Don’t let her get to you, Tali,” Oriana came up beside the quarian and placed a friendly hand on her shoulder. Giving the biotic woman a sidelong glance, she said, “Jack’s just upset because she lost a bet.”

Anya’s attention whipped around to where Jack stood by the cheese table. Frozen in place, Jack slowly removed her hand from the tray she’d been reaching for and reluctantly turned around to face the youngest Lawson sister. Her light brown eyes narrowed sharply as she regarded Oriana. The threat was clear in her voice as she demanded, “Who told you that?”

Tsking as she shook her head, Oriana answered, “Jack, you’ve been grinning like an idiot all morning.”

“Not to mention how mean you’ve been,” Tali inserted. “I thought humans were supposed to become _more_ bearable after they had sex.”

Oriana glanced back at Tali and informed her, “It depends on how good the sex was.”

Training her gaze on Jack, Anya leaned her weight on a hip and wondered, “So tell us, Jacky, was the sex good?”

Jack glared at all of them for a moment, even at Hannah who had become too enraptured by their repartee to look away. Furiously grinding her teeth, Jack sucked in a large breath before sighing her defeat. Her body sagged as she admitted, “Yes.” The grin that Oriana had mentioned returned to her face as she continued, “It was the best sex I’ve ever had in my entire life. And I’ve had a lot of sex, so that’s saying something.”

They giggled like schoolgirls and were pulled closer toward Jack by their curiosity. Leaning in close, Tali was the first one to voice her question. “I’ve always wondered: is all that bulk to compensate for something?”

Jack shook her head, her grin growing even more at the memory of the previous night. “That spanish stallion isn’t compensating for shit.”

“Alright,” Hannah intervened before the lot of them could explode into a fit of immature hysterics. “That’s enough of that. I would rather not be haunted by the visual of the Lieutenant’s privates on the day of my daughter’s wedding.”

“Now you know my pain,” replied Jack at the same time as the others said, “Sorry, Admiral Shepard.”

“As you should be,” Hannah’s scolding frown faded, revealing the teasing smile hidden underneath. Turning towards her daughter, she said, “Now let’s see about getting you into that dress so that we can start taking photos.”

Anya nodded with a sigh, knowing that the time would’ve come sooner or later. She was the bride after all, and it was time that she looked the part.

*

The estate grounds were something to behold. Thane had seen the beauty of human architecture while he’d visited Earth those many months ago, and also from the vids he had researched out of curiosity of the species, but neither of those experiences could have truly prepared him for the beauty of the estate hosting his wedding.

The four story, old English style manor was a castle unto itself. Its yard expanded for several acres, beautifully green and carefully tended to. The entrepreneur that owned this land rented it out for events such as this at a cost Thane was unsure he even wanted to consider. He wondered if he and Anya would have any money by the end of this affair; somehow he doubted it.

He watched as Cassandra cut through the lawn, barking at the event staff about the placement of the cake. Ever since she had taken it upon herself to plan this wedding, Thane had seen a different side of her; a passionate, no-nonsense, mildly terrifying side that he would be glad to be rid of as soon as the day was over.

Sensing that someone was approaching him from behind, Thane looked over his shoulder to see his son join him at the side lines. He gave Kolyat a soft smile, taking in the sight of his son dressed in a sharp tuxedo and admiring the handsome man he had become.

“Father,” Kolyat said in greeting as he stood beside Thane and watched as Cassandra, his would-be aunt-in-law, bossed her victims around. “Today’s the day.”

“Indeed it is,” Thane agreed. Turning toward his son, he adjusted Kolyat’s bow tie and smiled contently to himself.

Kolyat watched his father’s features as he fixed his collar and straightened his jacket in a way only a parent could do. “Nervous?” he asked, the jitters he must have been feeling clearly evident in his own voice.

Shaking his head, Thane answered, “Excited.” When Kolyat’s tie and collar were straight and his tux free of specks he allowed his smile to grow. He held Kolyat’s gaze as he went on. “I loved your mother, and will always love and cherish the memories we made together.” Thane looked back at the decorated lawn where the ceremony would reside, and admitted, “Irikah was my first love, but Anya will be my last.”

“I know, father,” Kolyat placed a hand on Thane’s shoulder and when he looked back to meet his son’s gaze there was understanding in those cerulean irises. “I love Anya too, and I think that mom would approve of her replacement.” he said with a laugh, fully aware that there would never be a replacement for his mother.

“Krios,” They turned at the sound of Michael calling Thane. Anya’s brother approached them, his steps heavy as he shielded his eyes from the sun. He was already wearing a pair of sunglasses, but the pale tone of his skin made it clear that the man was feeling especially sensitive to light today.

He stopped beside them and looked out at the lawn, watching as the last minute preparations were finalized and early comers started taking their seats. Michael had drunk a bit too much at the bachelor party and was paying the price today; however, he was showered and shaved and that was all that Thane could really ask from his future brother-in-law.

“How are you feeling today, Michael?” wondered Thane, giving the human a playful simper.

Anya’s brother dragged a hand down his face as he answered. “Like hell,” he groaned. “I haven’t drunk like that since college, and it still wasn’t enough to completely erase the memory of my sister dancing last night.”

“Yeah,” Kolyat agreed with a shake of his head. “That wasn’t exactly a memory that I wanted to have of my stepmother.”

Michael grimaced, the combination of his memories, over-drinking, and terrible hangover making him look like he might vomit. Swallowing hard, he held Kolyat by the shoulder to steady himself and pressed his hand to his stomach. “Can we stop talking about it, please. I’m feeling sick enough as it is.”

Kolyat and Thane shared an amused look before agreeing to not discuss Anya’s nimble performance in further detail. They watched as Michael fought for control over his stomach. “We have so much technological advancements and still no cure for the galaxy’s worst hangover.”

“Sorry about that, _cabron_ ,” said James as he, Garrus, and Niall walked over to join their circle. Laughing at the youngest Shepard, James slapped Michael on the back, purposely making him dry heave. “Shepard can drink me under the table on a good day, I just thought that it ran in the family.”

“Screw you, Vega.” Michael coughed until his stomach settled.

“Jack’s already got that covered,” Garrus replied on James’ behalf. “Doesn’t she, Jimmy?”

An arrogant grin spread across Vega’s features and he shrugged carelessly. “I can neither confirm nor deny that; but I can tell you that I’m not going to be anyone’s bitch-boy while I’m here.”

Niall’s mandible’s clicked into a turian grin as he joked, “Just playing the game, eh James?”

“More like winning the game,” James murmured, rubbing the back of his neck as he avoided their smiles. As he brushed an imaginary spec from under his eye, James suddenly looked very thoughtful for a moment. Clearing his throat, he shook his head and admitted, “I don’t know, _hermanos_ ; I think there might be something there.”

Kolyat bit back his laugh and when James gave him a pointed look, he teased, “Not you, too.”

“Not me what?” James growled, not amused by Kolyat’s amusement.

“Oriana has the wedding fever, as well,” Kolyat informed him, dodging the pseudo punch that James threw at his head. “One look at this set up and she’s giving me this _look_.”

They all gathered closely around, inspecting James’ features. Garrus took another step closer and asked Kolyat, “ _That_ look?”

“Yeah that’s the look,” Kolyat joked.

James shoved them out of his face and protested, “I don’t have a look.” His hazel-eyed gaze panned over all of them, suddenly concerned, “Do I?”

They laughed at James' expense for a moment before they acquiesced to the threatening glare he was boring into all of them. Garrus brought their attention back to Thane as he asked, “So, Krios, how does this compare to a drell wedding?”

Thane looked around at the wedding preparations, he sucked in a breath and smiled. When he looked back at his groomsmen and James, he answered, “Drell weddings are very spiritual and ritualistic; there is a lot of dancing and chanting.” His smile grew as he regarded the event staff bustling around them, making sure that everything was in its place and just the way Cassandra wanted it. 

“We celebrate the union of Amonkira and his mate, Arashu. The recantation is of Amonkira’s desire to find Arashu, how he searches for her and desires her. But it is Arashu who chooses her mate, the man she deems good enough to be her Amonkira.”

Garrus’ mandibles flared as he considered Thane’s explanation. After a moment he wondered, “Will we be seeing any of that today?”

“Perhaps during the reception,” Thane replied with a chuckle. “I doubt that Cassandra would be very happy with me if we ruined her wedding.”

Michael shook his head, “I can’t wait for this to be over.” When they’re gazes all ripped back to Anya’s brother he held his hands up defensively. “What? No, I didnt mean it like I’m not happy for you and my sister. It’s just that my wife has become a monster because of this wedding.”

A low rumble sounded from the others as they all chuckled at Michael’s situation. All laughter came to a quick and final stop when the monster in question appeared behind them, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed as she glared at her husband. 

“Oh, a monster, huh?” she growled, her nose flaring dangerously.

Michael froze; a look humans called a 'deer caught in headlights' spreading over his features. His hands were still held up, but now as if to calm a charging varren. “I didn’t mean it like --”

“Save it, Michael,” Cassandra held up a finger and shook her head. “I’ll deal with you later. Right now we all, except for you James, have a wedding to be a part of.” Clapping her hands as if she were herding the sheep to the slaughter, she motioned for them to hurry. 

The string quartet started playing a lovely tune in the background and Cassandra waved for them to get a move on. Garrus nudged Thane on the arm and said, “Show time, Krios.”

*

“Oh, honey,” Hannah held her by the shoulders, her chin trembling as she gazed upon Anya in her wedding dress. Tears welled in her mother’s eyes and she fanned them away, looking up to avoid messing up her make up. “You look lovely.”

Looking down at her dress, Anya allowed a nervous smile to spread across her face. She glanced back at the full length mirror to take in the sight of herself and her smile grew, her nerves coupling with her excitement. “It’s not much in deflecting bullets, but it gets the job done.” 

“It does a lot more than that,” Jack replied with a chortle. Pushing herself off of the nearby vanity, she strode up to Anya and handed over the beautiful bouquet. The flowers were in an arrangement of falling calla lilies surrounded  by babies breath, bouvardia, and amaryllis. It was a gorgeous culmination of flora, just like everything about the wedding. Cassandra sure did know how to throw a party.

“Where’s my little girl?” Admiral Michael Shepard’s voice called from just outside the hall as he was ushered into the room by Cassandra. Her father was dressed in his Alliance blues, the ribbons pinned to his coat professing his many years of loyal service.

He stopped at the doorway, frozen in place by the sight of her. Anya turned from the mirror to face her father and watched as a multitude of emotions changed his features. Admiral Shepard snapped his jaw shut, and brought his gaze up to meet hers.

Several seconds passed while Anya waited for her father to say something, anything, to her. When all  he could do was stare her nerves started to grow. Was it the dress? Did she look terrible? Did he think she was making a mistake? Gazing down at her carefully crafted dress, Anya made sure that there wasn’t anything wrong with it before she returned her gaze to her fathers and asked, “Well?”

“Well,” he replied, emotion thick in his voice. She then noticed the tears coating his moss green eyes. Clearing his throat, the admiral said, “My little girl is getting married.”

Nodding, Anya stepped away from the mirror and into her father’s arms, careful to not smear her makeup all over his ceremonial garbs. “It sure does look that way, doesn’t it, dad?”

He gently stroked her hair, careful to not accidentally put a strand out of place. “I was afraid that I’d never get a chance to see this day.” Admiral Shepard pressed her more tightly against him. “I buried you once. And now instead of seeing you off to the afterlife, I get to see you off to the man you love.”

“Dad, please,” she laughed as she pulled away from him and fanned her eyes to keep the tears from falling. Anya could easily hold herself together as long as her father kept the emotional stuff to himself. “Cassandra is going to kill me if I smeared my mascara.”

The Admiral cupped her face in his large, calloused hands and stared adoringly down at his daughter. “I love you Annie. I am so proud of you, and so happy for you.” Kissing her forehead he continued, “There isn’t a man in this galaxy worthy of you, but out of all of them Thane is the only man I trust to love and cherish you the way you deserve.”

She couldn’t avoid the sincerity of his words, or the pride in his eyes while he held her like this. Biting her lip to keep from crying she croaked, “Now you’ve done it.” she placed her hands on top of her fathers and thumbed over his knuckles. Two tears snuck past her defenses and spilled over the corners of her eyes. “Now I’m crying.”

“No crying,” Cassandra’s voice pulled them apart. She took Anya into her arms and made sure that her hair and makeup were still both fine. “We still have to take photos; red in the face and a runny nose don’t make for good pictures.”

Waving for the lot of them to follow her, Cassandra instructed, “Come on, the band is about to start up. It’s time to get this show on the road.”

Admiral Michael Shepard smiled at his daughter-in-law and wondered, “Have you ever considered joining the military, Cassandra?” His smile grew when she looked up at him. “You’d make a great staff sergeant.”

Admiral Hannah Shepard stood beside her husband and held onto his arm. Sharing a laugh with her husband, she agreed, “I’m sure Junior would just love that.”

They all exited the room and headed toward the back of the estate where the ceremony was being held. Anya swallowed hard past the lump in her throat, fighting off her nerves as if they were an exploding husk. Ask her to give her crew a motivational speech before charging face first into battle, she could do that no problem; ask her to exchange vows in front of a crowd and Anya was suddenly feeling stage fright for the first time in her life.

*

A beautiful tune flowed through the air as the band played their instruments, setting the atmosphere to a dreamy state. Thane looked out at the guests from his place near the altar. They had wanted a relatively small wedding, only their closest friends and family in attendance; it just so happened that Anya had more friends and family than they’d anticipated. And all of them had RSVP’d for a seat; no one wanted to miss this special occasion in the former Commander Shepard’s life.

A content smile had settled on his lips at the start of the day and hadn’t left him since. Thane was excited. This was his first human wedding; it seemed fitting that the last wedding he attended had also been his own. Looking up at the cloudless blue skies, Thane remembered how Irikah had looked the day of their wedding, how lovely she had been. 

The tone of the band changed and Thane blinked back to the present, thankful for the memories Irikah had given him but eager to live in the moment where he accepted a new mate as his bride. One by one the bridesmaids started down the aisle, looking lovely in their elegant dresses. Beside him Garrus’s subharmonics trilled adoringly at the sight of Tali walking down the aisle; and Thane had to agree, she did look stunning in that custom made suit.

A little girl made her way towards the altar scattering rose petals as she strode to the music. Ana was still too young to be the flower girl, so Cassandra had rented a friend’s daughter to litter the walkway with flower petals for Anya’s grand entrance. Human weddings were strange; lovely, but unusual. 

He was pulled from his thoughts when the music changed again and the crowd before him stood to their feet and turned around to face the estate’s yard facing stairway. Admiral Shepard stepped out from the double doors, leading his daughter from the house and into the sunlight. Time was suspended as Thane’s attention fell onto his bride.

Anya was a goddess enveloped in white. Her crimson hair was pulled back into a lovely loose braid, decorated with white and pink flowers. The beautiful lace dress draped over her wonderful body was crafted with such obvious care that Thane could tell from this distance the designs needled into the fabric. Her cheeks were rosy with blush and her plush lips were coated with a vibrant red color. She was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen in his entire life and she was his for the rest of his days.

Thane was watching her closely enough to recognize the nervousness in her features. There was no reason for it, they were already mated, yet he could see it in her emerald eyes; his Siha was frightened. She and the admiral we're making their way down the stairs just as Thane’s attention was stolen by the men standing in line beside him. Kolyat gazed at his father with pride and love in his eyes; and his groomsmen nodded at Thane, congratulating him on his bride’s loveliness. He smiled at his groomsmen, fully aware that he was the luckiest man alive.

When Thane returned his attention to his blushing bride, he caught Anya's gaze and held it. The two of them stared at each other, trapped in the others gaze as a grin expanded across both of their faces. It was then that all the nerves left Anya's eyes, leaving only excitement in its wake. She and her father made it down the aisle and Admiral Michael Shepard kissed his daughter on the cheek before handing her off to Thane.

"Im trusting you with her, Krios," he stated as he shook Thane’s hand.

Thane smiled at his father-in-law and nodded, "Your trust is well placed, Admiral."

Beside them Michael inserted, "She's your problem now," loudly enough for only the wedding party to hear, who laughed quietly at her brother’s jest.

He and Anya turned toward each other, hands held and fingers intertwined as they stood in front of Admiral Hackett, who had been all too happy to perform this ceremony. The Admiral smiled at Anya, a fatherly sheen to his blue eyes. "You look beautiful, Shepard," he whispered.

Anya grinned at the admiral and replied, "Thank you for doing this for us."

Admiral Hackett gestured that their gratitude was unnecessary before standing at attention and addressing the crowd. "Since I'm a bit of a traditionalist, we're going to play this by the book.” He paused and gave both Thane and Anya a warm smile before continuing. “Dearly beloved we are gathered here today . . ."


	36. Chapter 36

_Mmm_ , Thane hummed as Anya nuzzled his frill. Her naked body pressed against his as she pulled herself closer. Brushing her mouth against his neck, her lips parted and her tongue snaked out, leaving a trail of fire as she licked his neck from collar to jawline. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her ontop of him. 

The quirk to Anya’s brow was playful, her emerald eyes laughing in delight even as her smiling lips stayed sealed shut. She was a glorious sight straddling him as she was, his wife. Thane’s smile grew at the thought, his _wife_. Would he ever get tired of calling her that? This beautiful, wonderful woman was his mate and his wife; his forever. The thought was . . . arousing.

“Welcome to the party, Mr. Krios.” the sound of her voice caressed him as surely as her touch. She spread her fingers out over his chest and bit her lip as she rubbed her sex against his. “I was starting to miss you . . . inside me.”

Thane gripped her hips tightly, encouraging her to keep rolling her body against him. “Your appetite is insatiable, Mrs. Krios.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” she instructed as she lifted herself up a bit and adjusted him to her entrance. “According to legend, now that we’re married our love life is going to become nonexistent.” A guttural moan escaped her as Anya lowered herself onto his cock and started to ride him.

Arching his body up into hers, Thane groaned at the amazing feeling of her molten hot core enveloping him so snuggly. He didn’t want to imagine a world where this wasn’t part of his day to day; he didn’t want to think about a life where he wasn’t connected to Anya, his mate, on all levels. He rubbed her thighs as she picked up her momentum, allowing himself to be lost to her mind numbing heat.

She gripped the headboard as she rolled her hips, grinding herself against him, enjoying the ribbing of his penis as he was enjoying the sleek heat of her soaking wet vagina. Anya’s moans grew in volume as she leaned her body back, holding onto his knees behind her and throwing her head back to lose herself to the feeling of him inside of her. 

Thane loved seeing her like this, so free and relaxed. All that mattered to Anya at that very moment was sharing as much pleasure with Thane as she could; and she looked sexy as hell doing it. He moved his hands from her hips, running them up her torso until he had her breasts in his grasp. Arching more of himself into her, Thane pinched her nipples as she claimed yet another orgasm.

Her breaths escaped her loudly as she struggled to catch her breath. Anya was still leaned back, her long crimson hair tickling Thane’s legs as she fell onto her back; but he wasn’t finished with her yet. Kneeling on the bed, Thane flipped Anya onto her stomach and pulled her hips upward, lifting her ass towards him before giving it a loud slap.

He pressed his penis against her folds and whispered, “I love you,” as he sheathed himself to the hilt. Anya shouted out in bliss as he pounded into her, the new position tightening the muscles in her abdomen around his cock, and drowning him in the pleasurable sensation. He felt the climax starting right at the base of his spine. It was a white hot heat that melted everything inside him, that reduced him to a puddle of love drunk goo that belonged solely to Anya. 

Grabbing a fistful of her hair, Thane pressed himself against her back until his mouth was on her neck. He bit down on Anya’s beautiful neck, digging his canines into her flesh and sucked gently until he received his own release. The moan that escaped him started deep in his gut and clawed it’s way past his lips, a passionate cry to accompany the pulsating pleasure of his ejaculating penis.

Thane fell onto the bed and tried to catch his breath. For a minute or so only the sound of their breathing filled the room. Anya turned onto her side to face him, the smile on her lips was filled with love and contentment. 

“It’s your turn to call for room service,” she grinned, knowing fully well that he had called last time and it was actually her turn.

Pulling himself up into a seated position, Thane leaned back against the headboard and invited her to rest her head against his chest. As Anya settled in beside him, he began to stroke her long crimson hair and said, “Perhaps it’s time we leave the bed, Siha.”

Anya hugged her arms around his body and made a sound of protest. “I don’t want to!”

A laugh bubbled inside him at the sight of her childish behavior. “We haven’t left this room in the past two days. This is supposed to be the most exclusive resort in the galaxy, and all we’ve seen of it is the front desk and this room.”

She looked up at him and pouted. “Are you getting tired of me already, Mr. Krios?”

Holding his fingers under her chin, he brought his lips down to hers and admitted, “Never, Mrs. Krios.” A smile then slithered across his lips as he admitted, “But the room is starting to smell.”

Anya looked out at the mess that had become their hotel room and sighed in agreement and defeat. She pushed herself off of the bed with a groan and said, “I guess we should at least let housekeeping come in and sanitize the place.” Walking towards her luggage, Anya picked out her bikini and a sundress. “How about we get breakfast and then lay out by the pool?”

He threw his legs over the side of the bed and walked over to where Anya was still picking her things out of her luggage. Standing behind her, he wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her shoulder before inquiring, “How about we take a shower first.”

A sultry laugh sounded from his wife. “And I’m the one with the insatiable appetite.”

“My hunger for you is as unending as my love.” He bit into her shoulder and grinned when she turned around to give him a scolding look before gesturing for him to follow her into the bathroom.

*

Breakfast was almost worth getting out of bed for. The resort had a whole lineup of quality prepared breakfast foods, set up in an extravagant buffet fitted for a king. She didn’t realize how hungry she was until the smell of bacon socked her right in the gut. Looking down at her stuffed stomach, she figured that she might have overdone it a little.

Anya adjusted her sunglasses from sliding down her nose. It was a gorgeous day out. The sun was high in the cloudless blue skies, warming the air to a comfortable temperature without soaking them down with unbearable humidity. It was perfect, just as the resort advertised. The place reeked of excess and wealth. 

It was beautiful, of course, but it was a fantasy. If she’d come here before, during the war, it would have pissed her off as surely as the Citadel had. It was like the rest of the galaxy didn’t exist out here. It was only them, the sun, and the open bar that mattered. Their lazy and selfish needs were the only ones of any importance, and the resort promised to take care of those with a smile.

They were laying out by the pool, sunning like lizards as the lazy day dragged on. Glancing at her husband, Anya allowed a smile to slink across her lips. He looked so peaceful lying there, his eyes shut, his breathing steady. Her smile grew when she realized he was sleeping. The poor man, she had worn him out. They might have been imprisoned in bed for the last two days, but that didn't mean that they'd gotten very much sleep. Her drell was tired and with good reason too.

Reaching for the fruity drink on the table between them, Anya brought the vibrantly colored straw to her mouth and sipped. She normally didn’t do girly drinks, but what the hell, it was their honeymoon. No one here was going to laugh at her for picking a drink that came with an umbrella and a butterfly made out of orange skin.

As she set her drink back down she picked up the data-pad that had been resting on the table and continued where she’d left off. Under Kasumi’s advisement, she had picked up a copy of _Wuthering Heights_ to pass the time between romantic excursions with Thane. Now was as good a time as any to get some reading done.

Anya had gotten as far as Mr. Earnshaw’s death when a familiar sound crashed in the distance. She sat up and Thane immediately awoke from his slumber, alert and on guard in a way that made her certain that he had heard it too. Glancing at him she wondered, “Any chance that that was just thunder?”

“No,” Thane replied, getting up from his pool chair and holding his hand out for Anya to do the same. The faraway sound of discharging weapons rattled off again, and Thane said, “That is gunfire, submachine and rapid fire by the sound of it.”

She set her jaw as she took his hand, venturing to go out on one last limb before resigning herself to the truth. “You don’t remember if the brochure said there was a firing range, do you?”

The look Thane gave her was of mild amusement. “No, Siha. There was no mention of a firing range in this resort.”

“Of course not,” she sighed. “Why wouldn’t it be something normal?”

Thane arched an eyebrow at her and grinned, “A shooting range at a tropical resort is normal?”

“Well, no,” she gave him an nettled look for arguing with her. “But it’s better than the alternative. I just wanted a boring, lazy, uneventful honeymoon; could I get that?” Shaking her head she answered her own question, “No, of course not; We’re like magnets for this kind of shit.”

The smile he gave her was warm and loving, patient as he waited for her to finish with her temper-tantrum. When Anya had settled back down and returned her glare to the direction the gunfire had sounded from, he stated, “We should find the head of security and see if there’s anything we can do to help.”

She tilted her head back and groaned, throwing her arms up as she turned toward the resort and stomped back into the building. “Just once I’d like to take a vacation and not have it turn into a shootout.” Glancing back, she caught Thane’s smirk as he followed closely behind her. “Just _once_ ,” she repeated with another groan.

The amused rumbled that sounded behind her forced Anya to turn and meet her mate’s eyes, catching the mirth in those hidden green depths. When she quirked an eyebrow at him, Thane allowed a smile to inch across his lips. “You live for this, Siha.”

Her eyes narrowed on him for a second as she wrestled with a smile that threatened to take her lips. When the corner of his mouth twisted into a smirk she lost her struggle and the threatening smile surfaced. “You might be right about that.” His grin grew causing hers to also grow in turn. “But it’s the principle of it,” Anya tried to continue her argument, knowing that he knew her too well to take her half hearted protests seriously.

“ _All of it in the bag, bitch_.” A voice shouted from the other end of the hall and Thane grabbed Anya by the wrist before she could run off ahead of him and try to intervene.

She glanced back at Thane but he pressed a finger to his lips and gestured for her to follow his lead. They kept their backs pressed against the wall until they reached the corner, peering around the bend they saw a man dressed in heavy armor carrying a Phalanx threateningly at his side. The woman he held hostage by the wrist was crying, tears streaming down her face as she removed all of her jewelry and put it onto the sack.

There was more shouting, the sounds of people being herded to the dining area by threats and gunfire. Thane glanced down at Anya and they shared a displeased look. He nodded for her to do what she did best, the look in his eyes reassuring her that he would always have her back. 

Anya returned his nod, a plotting smirk twisting the corners of her mouth. Throwing herself around the corner, her stride adopted a drunken saunter as she approached the heavily armed, heavily armored thief.

“Hey,” she pressed a faux drunken weight onto her voice and a sloppy grin onto her lips. “I didn’t know there was a costume night.” Just a few more steps . . . “That get up is pretty convincing.”

The thief was too enraptured by the sight of her bikini to recognize the threat of her approach. Later she’d roll her eyes. Now she appreciated the small fact that men, or at least this one, were under the habit of constantly thinking with the wrong head. 

When she was within arms reach, Anya punched the thief square in the throat. As he leaned forward, reaching up to hold his injured voicebox, she grabbed him by the back of his head and pulled his face down to her knee. The sound of his breaking nose cracked through the air and the man fell back into Thane’s arms, who had suddenly materialized behind him like a vengeful apparition. Wrapping his arm around the thief’s neck, Thane squeezed until the man’s eyes rolled into the back of his head and he slumped unconscious in Thane’s arms.

As the thief’s body hit the ground with a thud, Thane and Anya locked gazes, enraptured by one another. Anya bit her lip as she gawked at her husband, invigorated by the sight of him in nothing but his swimming trunks and kicking so much ass. 

“That was sexy as hell, Krios.” Her voice was husky and she allowed a sultry grin to crawl across her lips.

An appreciative smirk twisted the corner of his mouth as her gave her body a predatory once over and replied, “I’m tempted to take you right on the floor, Siha.”

Before she could throw herself at him to make good on that statement, they were brought back to reality by the sound of a soft whimper. They both glanced at the frightened woman cowering beside them and Anya remembered that they were in the middle of something. The look she gave him translated directly into, ‘Hold onto that thought.’

“Are you okay?” Anya asked as she carefully regarded the woman. “Did he hurt you?”

Shaking her head, the woman stuttered, “No, thanks to both of you.”

Anya gently placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder and gave her a serious look, her eyes instructing her to do exactly as she said without question. “Go back to your room and lock the door. Don’t make a sound or open the door for anyone but head of security.” To the terrified look on the woman’s face Anya reassuringly stated, “Everything’s going to be okay. Just do as I say. When this is over the Security Chief will come by your room and hold his badge to the peephole. The door opens only for him and no one else. Got it?”

She nodded her head and ran for her room, not sparing either of them a second glance as she hurried to do as she was told. Anya and Thane watched her go, their eyes on her until she disappeared around the corner. When Anya returned her attention to her husband he was kneeled beside the unconscious thief, rummaging through his things.

Thane handed her the Phalanx and some cryo-rounds. As he pulled a biotic amp from the man, he observed, “His armor has no visible markings or affiliations, nor are there any tattoos to suggest he’s part of a mercenary group or gang. This might be an underground group by the looks of it, up and coming.”

“And attacking a beach resort is their grand debut?” Anya scoffed, “That’s classy.”

He hummed in agreement as he stood back up. Peering in the direction the gunfire was sounding from, Thane continued, “It sounds like they’re herding the guests to the dining area, gathering everyone in one place.”

Anya set her jaw, her stomach turning as she considered the answer to her next question, “For what?”

Blinking both lids, Thane glanced down at Anya and gave her a serious look. “Let’s find the security chief before we have to find out.”

She nodded her consent before cocking and loading her weapon. It wasn’t a black widow, but it would get the job done.

*

Anya led them through the resort’s halls with stealth that could almost rival his own. They ran into a handful of mercenaries along the way, always the ones to get the drop on their enemies and not the otherway around. They disarmed a few more mercenaries until Thane had a pistol held tightly in his grasp and a sniper strapped to his back. Retirement had not stolen his Siha’s sense of leadership or dulled her combat awareness. She moved like a predator on the hunt, an arousing sight as she was still dressed in her bikini and little else.

Thane had to remind himself to refocus on their task when his gaze wandered down her curves to the bounce of her shapely backside. He didn’t know what was sexier, the knowledge that those powerful legs could kick the feet right out from under a man before stomping in his skull, or the memory of those very same legs wrapped tightly around his waist as he buried himself deeply inside of her sopping wet core.

Exhaling through his nose, Thane forced himself to look away from the bewitching sway of his wife’s hips as she stalked through the halls. If he wasn’t careful he was going to stop her in her tracks, shove her against the wall, and take her right then and there. There was just something about Anya fighting in a bikini that made his desire for her feel like a matter of life or death. 

Anya led them towards the thunder of exchanging gunfire. Crouched low to the ground, she maneuvered around the corner and ducked behind a potted plant. Glancing back to where Thane was still covered by the corner, she gestured for him to maintain his position and peered through her scope to observe the situation. He looked past the plant to the ongoing battle beyond their position. 

It looked like a portion of the security force was cornered behind the help desk with a dozen or so mercenaries pinning them down with an unrelenting attack. His attention returned to Anya’s when she glanced over her shoulder to where he was hidden. Gesturing for him to slide over the sniper rifle, Thane unstrapped the rifle from his back and slid it across the floor to where she was crouched. She picked it up, winking at him in thanks, before motioning for him to prepare to come forward the second she moved to another position.

She rolled from behind the potted plant to back of the elegant sofa close by. The second she moved Thane moved in unison with her, their advance so fluid and in sync that it may as well have been orchestrated by a third party. Picking up the Phalanx she had left behind, Thane pointed it through the plant’s leaves and waited for his wife’s signal.

On the other side of the battlefield, a mercenary was thrown off of his feet and slammed into the wall behind him, the force of the sniper rifle’s impact killed the man before he could slide down to the floor; staining the wall behind him with a thick streak of blood. That was all the signal Thane needed. He opened fire on the mercenaries, relieving the security force for a moment as the mercenaries fumbled over themselves to find the new source of retaliation.

Anya picked them off one by one, shooting anyone that poked their head out of cover even a little. Thane herded the mercenaries, making them move from their position when the heat of his gunfire was too hot for them to stay behind their cover. As soon as they went to move Anya would snipe them and soon the dozen mercenaries dwindled down to a handful.

Just as Thane was running low on heat sinks, the mercenaries decided to become bold. There were two at the front, offering cover fire to the others as they tried to flank them, inching little by little while they tried to stay out of Anya’s cross hairs. Sparing his wife a short glance, he noticed a mercenary advancing on her position and roared, “On your right!” as he threw a warp at the man nearing his mate.

She turned on her side and shot the man between the eyes with her borrowed pistol before moving her aim to the man approaching behind him.

Trusting that she had the rest under control, Thane turned to intercept the mercenary trying to line up a shot on him. He moved like a wraith, whisping across the way until he was face to face with his assailant. He charged a biotic fist and hooked the man under the jaw to then unleash a series of pinpointed strikes as the man fell back from his first attack. Too stunned to retaliate, Thane slammed his fist into the mercenary’s nose and broke it before shoving the loose bone back into his brain, killing the man instantly. 

Thane ducked to the ground the same second that his victim fell lifelessly to the floor with a thud, dodging a bullet before it could graze his shoulder. Crawling across the floor, he stayed low as he rounded the rest of the room to where the last two mercenaries were hiding. When he had them in his sights he noticed that their attention was across the room, attacking the security officers as they offered cover fire for both Anya and himself.

He and Anya fell on the last two mercenaries at the same time. She elbowed one on the side of the head before bringing her pistol to his side and shooting him twice. Thane grabbed the last mercenary by the sides of his head and snapped his neck. As he slumped in Thane’s arms, Anya stepped up close to him and brought her lips up to Thanes; ignoring the lifeless man between them.

A libidinous groan escaped him when Anya took his bottom lip between her teeth and gave it a tug. Thane let the body fall from his grasp and stepped over the man as he pulled his wife into his arms. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he buried his other hand in her hair and tilted her face up to his.

He kissed her deeply, momentarily losing himself to his carnal and spiritual need for her. Anya’s lips parted for him and Thane explored the welcome warmth of the inside of her moist mouth. Inhaling deeply, he was struck by the smell of her, the light tang of sweat from excursion mixing with the sweet smell of body wash and her shampoo. It was enough to set his blood on fire with desire.

It was only the sound of someone clearing their throat that pulled them apart, both of them jolted with the realization that they had an audience. They turned to face the four security guards before glancing at each other again, Anya covered her mouth and tried to suppress a laugh that came out through her fingers anyway.

One of the men stepped forward, obviously the leader, and offered Thane his hand. He was a bit taller than average height for a human male, his skin the color of those milk chocolates that Anya enjoyed so much, and he had symmetrical features. Thane supposed he was what other humans would consider attractive. 

“Thanks for showing up when you did,” his voice was a deep resounding baritone, fitting for his size and build. There was an honest gleam to his light brown eyes, as if he had nothing to hide and no doubts about who he was as a person. Thane liked him already. “Name’s Wayne, I’m assistant head of security here.”

“Thane Krios,” he introduced himself as Wayne released his hand from the greeting. Placing his freed hand on the small of Anya’s back, he continued, “And this is my wife, Anya Krios.”

Wayne took her hand and nodded in gratitude before explaining, “I was trying to gather my team when these assholes got the drop on us; outnumbered us three to one. We held our own as best we could but if you hadn’t showed up when you did . . .” he shook his head.

“Luckily we did show up when we did,” Anya replied. Inspecting the four security officers before them, she wondered, “Don’t tell me this is all of you?”

“No Ma’am,” Wayne shook his head before glancing at his men. “There are about twenty security officers employed by the resort. My guess is that they’re already being rounded up by Chief Reynolds.”

“Is that the man in charge?” 

Wayne nodded, “That she is, Ma’am.”

Anya returned the gesture and motioned for Wayne to lead the way. “We’d like to talk to her, offer our assistance.”

Turning, Wayne looked over his shoulder at them as he said, “That would be greatly appreciated.” The rest of the officers fell into formation behind them, their weapons held at ready in case they stumbled into another ambush. As they walked, Wayne began his casual interrogation. 

“Are you both military?”

Anya nodded, “Retired Alliance Commander,” she glanced at Thane and gave him a playful smik, “And my husband is Hanar Special Forces.”

Thane kept his lips from twitching, technically she wasn’t wrong. It was less disconcerting than her admitting, ‘My husband kills people for a living’ or at least he used to. All of Thane’s hits as of late had been free of charge. He wondered if that made him a criminal. . .

*

Wayne led them through the resort to a private elevator that descended to the basement level reserved for security. They encountered surprisingly little resistance along the way, which made Anya uneasy. If there weren’t mercenaries stalking the halls that meant that they had nearly everyone rounded up in the dining area. If they wanted to foil whatever dastardly plans the mercenaries had going on, they needed to be quick.

She’d gotten as much information as possible from Wayne and his men. So far, all that Anya knew for sure was that these mercenaries came prepared. They had heavy artillery and a lot of manpower, which meant they came here to spill blood on top of robbing the guests dry. What she didn’t understand was why; but then again the only thing that really mattered was stopping these assholes before they spilled innocent blood.

The elevator made it to the basement level with a ding. As the doors parted the sound of a commanding female voice could be heard addressing her team. Wayne was the first one off of the lift and led the rest of them down the hall and around the corner to an expansive room where a throng of uniformed officers were waiting for their orders.

“Officer Wayne,” the female voice shouted out and the officers parted, making a path for Wayne and his entourage to make it to where the security chief was standing. She was a tall woman, taller than Anya’s 5’7, placing her around 6’2 if Anya had to guess. She had dark brown hair that was secured back in a tight bun and hazel eyes more green than brown. The square set of her jaw was surprisingly feminine and her minimal makeup actually helped to accent her natural beauty. Anya decided she liked her.

Without addressing Anya or Thane, Security Chief Reynolds spoke to Wayne with a displeased twist to her lips. “Why is your radio down?”

Wayne stood at attention as he was addressed by his superior officer. “It was shot in the crossfire, Chief Reynolds, Ma’am.”

“After you debrief me I want you to go get a replacement. I won’t have any of my men flying blind out there.” Chief Reynolds instructed. When Wayne nodded his understanding she gestured for him to get on with it.

He told her about how his men were trying to make it back to the security offices when they were ambushed by a fleet of mercenaries. Wayne described how they had been pinned and how Anya and Thane had appeared out of no where and saved their asses. By the end of Wayne’s explanation Chief Raynold’s attention was on her and Thane, gauging their face value with her hazel eyes. 

When Wayne was done with his debriefing she thanked him and dismissed him to go get a replacement radio. As he cut through the other officers she said, “Thank you for saving my men,” and offered them both her hand as she introduced herself. “I’m Security Chief Harper Reynolds, and you are?”

“Retired Alliance Marine, Commander Anya Krios,” Anya said as she shook the other woman’s hand. When Chief Reynolds reached for Thane’s hand she continued, “And this is my husband Thane Krios, Hanar Special Forces.”

Crossing her arms in front of her chest, Chief Reynolds looked to one of her men and instructed, “Go get them some clothes.” who nodded and turned to do as he was told. She returned her attention to the both of them and admitted, “I cannot tell you how great it is to have the both of you here.” Her hazel eyes looked over he men and she shook her head. “We’re resort security, and no where near qualified to handle this sort of attack. I’m doing what I can but, honestly, I’m a bit out of my depth.”

Anya nodded that she understood where the Chief was coming from. Glancing at the security camera feeds over the Chief’s shoulder, Anya asked, “What’s the situation?”

The Chief turned around and gestured for Anya and Thane to join her at the table behind her. There was a map spread out over the table, marked with red where the known enemies were stationed and green where the straggling security officers were known to be hiding out. Anya leaned forward, resting her knuckles on the table's surface as she took in the information displayed before her. Chief Reynolds moved to the other side of the table her gaze moving from Anya and Thane to the map then back to them as she waited for either of them to talk.

Thane moved from his spot beside her and pointed towards the red markings on the map. She followed his finger and nodded in acknowledgement of his observation. Without looking up from the resort’s blueprint, Anya commented, “It looks like we’re in luck, Chief.”

“How do you figure?” she asked, a doubtful quirk to her brow as she jutted out a hip. 

Pointing to where Thane had earlier gestured to, Anya explained, “These guys are amateurs.” 

Chief Reynolds made a disagreeing sound and argued, “They have all the entrances and exits covered, and they’ve disabled offworld communications. Am I missing something?”

“Yeah,” Anya replied with a small smile. “The big picture.” She pointed over Reynold’s shoulder to the screens displaying the security camera feeds. “The first thing a professional does when they intend to rob a place is take out security. You’re fully staffed and fully operational. A good friend of ours is a thief, she taught me what to look out for and would cringe at what we’re seeing here.”

The other woman was quiet for a moment as she considered Anya’s observation. The slight purse of her lips was admission enough that Anya at least had her attention. “I’m listening.”

Anya sucked in a breath before she started, “They know the layout well enough to suggest that they did their homework; but robbing a resort is more about making a statement than it is about making a profit. Their attack was premature, judging by how they’re scrambling to round everyone up. If this attack had gone according to plan, or at least a relatively good plan, they would have waited to attack during a resort wide dinner or event; that way everyone would be in one place and there wouldn’t be so many loose ends to tie up.”

“Okay,” Chief Reynolds slowly drawled out. “So what do you suggest.”

Turning toward her husband, Anya gave him a curious look and Thane smiled softly in response. He pointed again towards the map and said, “It appears as though their forces are massing along the dining area, with a few groups combing the resort for stragglers and security.” Peering up past his brow at the women at the table, Thane suggested, “If you separate your men into two teams we will be able to infiltrate the dining area, and release the hostages with few to no casualties.”

“You sound rather certain of that,” the chief didn’t sound very certain of his suggestion at all.

Anya smiled at Thane before turning toward Reynolds and supplying, “That’s because he is. Trust us with your men, Chief Reynolds, and we’ll send these bastards packing.”


	37. Chapter 37

Krios Security and Private Operations, it had a certain ring to it. After she and Thane had dealt with the mercenaries attacking their honeymoon resort Security Chief Harper Reynolds had come to them practically begging for them to train her men. At first Anya hadn’t been thrilled about the idea, but after some thought she saw the appeal. 

She was retired, at the young age of thirty three she found herself with the entire rest of her life to do whatever the hell she wanted and sitting around and getting fat wasn’t exactly what she had in mind. She didn’t want to be part of the galaxy saving action anymore, she’d had her fill of taking orders from higher ups and getting lip from pompous politicians; but maybe if she was the one giving the orders . . . she liked the sound of it.

The truth of the matter was that Anya wasn’t the type of person that could sit and do nothing, it was why she had made such a good marine. She needed the thrill of battle and she needed the excitement of a good fight. If she wasn’t going to return to the line of duty then she needed to find a suitable replacement outlet for all of her pent up aggression, and maybe training a dozen aspiring security officers could be that replacement. 

She and Thane both broke into countless places, took out hundreds of guardsmen, and had infiltrated several supposedly ‘secured’ locations without batting an eyelash. They knew what to look for, and if they trained others to know what to look for they could prove invaluable to the security forces; not to mention the money companies would shovel out for their graduates, not that they needed any more money. In the very least it was something to think about.

Blinking her eyes back into focus, Anya looked up from her cuticles to meet Thane’s curious gaze. His eyes were obsidian in the shadow of their cabin’s dim lights and there was a slight quirk to his lip as he regarded her fondly. He moved from the bed to kneel beside where she was seated at the small desk in the corner. 

Taking her hands into his, he wondered, “What are you thinking about, my love?”

“Reynolds’ request for us to train her men.” Anya admitted. Sighing, she rubbed her thumbs over his knuckles and voiced her musings. “If our honeymoon proved anything it was that we’re not very good at being retired.” When Thane made an agreeing sound, she continued. “And if anyone knows how best to secure and protect a place or person from people like us, it would be us. Right?”

Her husband nodded, “That would be the logical assumption.”

“Then maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea for us to start our own security officer training camp.” She didn’t sound as hesitant as she felt. The more she rolled the idea around the more she wanted to make it happen. Anya didn’t want to spend her retirement knitting sweaters for her loved ones, there wasn’t nearly enough bloodshed in handling thread; but hand to hand combat with a squad of people whose success depended on her training, that could be fun. Smiling down at Thane she said, “At least it would keep us from getting fat and lazy,” with a shrug.

Thane returned her smile with a warm one of his own. “If that’s what you want, Siha.”

At that she pouted. Anya gave Thane an impatient look, prodding, “But is it what you want? We’re mated and married now, the double M’s, you’re stuck with me twice over. This decision affects you too, and if you don’t think that it would be a good idea I want to know.”

His smile grew at the sound of her frustration with his answer. Thane stood from his crouch and leaned his weight against the desk top. Crossing his arms in front of his chest he gave the idea some real consideration. Anya watched as he stared at the wall on the other side of the room, his lips pursing in that way they did when he was deep in thought. She waited, drumming her fingers on the desk impatiently as she watched him think. 

While Thane weighed the pros and cons Anya took a moment to consider how much her life had changed since the end of the Reaper war. Her heart tightened at the memory of her depression, how dark and all-consuming it had been. Day in and day out she had begged whatever gods were listening for death. Death! 

If she’d died from the Catalyst’s explosion she would’ve missed out on all of this. She would have lost her chance to be happy with the man she loved. She’d fought the war for others to experience this freedom, not expecting for her to have this chance. Now she was grateful that no one had heard or answered her prayers. Sometimes fate was a cruel and malicious thing, but there were occurrences like the one she was living right now, that proved that everything happens for a reason.

Smiling softly to herself, Anya placed her hand on top of Thane’s and shut her eyes to admire the warmth radiating from his smooth scales. When she opened her eyes again it was to see Thane staring lovingly down at her. He used his free hand to trace the line of her cheekbone and placed his finger under her chin, tilting her face up towards his Thane dipped down and pressed his lips against hers. It was a short kiss, but heartwarming none the less. 

When he stood back up he combed back her hair and said, “I think that we have too much knowledge and experience to keep our expertise to ourselves. You are a woman of action, and need to be making a difference. If training security officers is how you decide you want to make that difference, then I am in full support of the idea.” The warm smile playing on his lips was enough to make her melt. What did she do right to deserve a man like him?

An excited grin unearthed on her features and Anya removed her attention from the handsome drell beside her to fiddle with the private terminal on the desk. “Then we need to start looking at licenses and permits, and properties to build this place. Do we want it to be on the Citadel? Do we want to do housing?” Her tirade was cut short when Anya noticed the ETA to their destination. Furrowing her brow, she kept her gaze on the screen as she cursed. “Shit, Krios. I think we got on the wrong flight.”

Without the slightest inkling of concern, or looking down to see what she was talking about, Thane wondered, “What makes you say that, Siha?”

Glancing up at her husband, Anya might have been worried before but at the sight of the slight twitch at the corner of his smirking lips she narrowed her eyes. “According to our flight schedule it says we’re hours away from Rannoch, I thought we were headed back to the Citadel.”

“Our friends have a bit of a surprise waiting for us on Rannoch.” Thane explained in response to the narrowed look she was boring into him. “I was supposed to be keeping you distracted so that you didn’t notice we were heading in the wrong direction.”

Anya chuckled and shook her head. “You’re not doing a very good job, Mr. Krios.”

“It would appear you’re right, Mrs. Krios.” He pushed himself off of the desk and offered her his hand. When Anya placed her fingers in his palm he pulled her up onto her feet and pressed his lips against hers once again. Anya groaned at the heat of the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and demanded more of him, all of him and when Thane broke the kiss he said,   
“Allow me to rectify that.” 

He returned his mouth to hers and herded her backwards toward the bed. A giggle escaped her when the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed and Thane let her fall onto the mattress.

Crooking her finger at her husband, Anya teased, “Come and distract me.”

*

Thane groaned out in bliss of the wet heat encompassing him. He rolled his neck as he basked in the relaxing feeling of a million droplets of water cascading down upon him. Shutting his eyes, he allowed the shower’s heat to work its way down his back and sooth his over worked muscles. 

He was exhausted. With little else to occupy their time, he and Anya had developed a habit of using sex to ease their boredom. Thane wasn’t complaining, he had been celibate for over a year before the gods returned Anya to his arms. They had lost time to make up for, he just hadn’t expected for it to be on such a regular basis. It was a pleasant inconvenience, and one he truly didn’t mind having. After all Thane knew first hand that there were worse things than making love with the woman he loved any chance he got. The sound of the bathroom door opening distracted him from his wandering thoughts.

“So what’s the surprise, Krios?” Anya asked as she strolled into the bathroom.

Thane smiled to himself, knowing how little she cared for surprises. Brushing aside the shower curtain, he watched as Anya started to brush her teeth and admitted, “I don’t know.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. Speaking past her toothbrush, Anya accused, “You, my dear husband, are a no good liar.” Anya returned her attention to the clouded mirror and wiped away some of the moisture so she could inspect her reflection. When her teeth were clean she rinsed out her mouth and said, “If you’re not going to tell me what it is, can you at least tell me what kind of surprise it’s going to be? I just want to know how I’m supposed to react, and what to wear.”

“I truly don’t know, Siha.”

 _Mhm_ , she hummed doubtfully, but let the matter drop without further argument. “So I’ve been thinking about Kolyat.”

He looked around the shower curtain again, a quirk to his brow as he silently inquired about her meaning. In response to his expression, she explained, “Since we’re planning to eventually move to Rannoch, maybe we should leave the apartment with him and Ori.”

Thane concentrated on the sensation of the water pouring down on him as he considered her suggestion. It was a large space, in a good neighborhood with an active nightlife that a young couple like Oriana and Kolyat would enjoy. The rent would be cheap, and there would be room for him and Anya when they came to visit. The cons to the idea were minimal. All in all it sounded like a solid investment.

“Alright,” Thane agreed as he turned off the shower and grabbed the towel hanging from the curtain rod. “We will ask Kolyat if he would accept the gesture.”

Anya scoffed, “You actually think he’ll say no?”

Thane shrugged as he stepped out of the shower, his attention on his wife as she leaned against the sink. “You know how he is, Siha. When have you ever known Kolyat to accept handouts.”

She bit her lip as she thought over his question. Her expression showed it when not a single time came to mind. “I see your point.” She admitted with a sigh. “We’ll phrase the offer like a question then. He and Oriana can think about it and not feel bad if they decide against it.”

“I think that’s best.”

Her emerald eyes regarded him with a warmth he’d never become accustom to. Securing the towel around his waist, Thane approached his wife and combed his fingers through her long crimson hair, tilting her head back as he kissed her. It was a short tender display that he broke to rest his forehead against hers. Anya shut her eyes and inhaled deeply, and Thane wondered what it was she smelled; the body wash he’d just lathered in, or the spice she accused him of exuding.

The sigh that escaped her sounded of disappointment as she said, “We should get down to the cargo hold. It’ll only be a few more minutes until we land.”

“I can work with a few minutes, Siha,” he purred.

Anya took a retreating step back and gave him a warning glare. “Put on some pants and then keep it in your pants, Krios.” She left the bathroom with a laugh.

Thane turned toward the mirror and a smile expanded across his lips. In the corner of the mirror Anya had written onto the foggy glass ‘A+T’´ inside of a heart. Though seemingly juvenile, Thane found it deeply endearing.

*

Anya’s stomach was all aflutter with nerves. She knew that it was excitement, but she didn’t know what was causing the emotion in the first place. Maybe it was the surprise. Rolling her eyes, she tried not to think about it. 

She wasn’t one for surprises, they made her uncomfortable. She didn’t like going into a situation and not knowing what to expect. Yeah she’d been called impulsive and brash on many occasions throughout her military career, but she hardly ever dove into a situation blindly. Too bad her knowing what to expect kind of ruined the purpose of a surprise, and the fun of setting up the surprise. Gods forbid she ruin someone else’s fun.

When Thane stepped up beside her and handed her one of the many bags they’d brought along with them, she was pulled away from her thoughts. Accepting the bag with a smile, Anya offered to take one of the other suitcases and pouted when Thane refused. She could kill a man from over a thousand feet away, but his chivalry prevented her from carrying her own bags. Men, she groaned internally.

The cargo bay door opened and descended into a ramp. She, Thane, and a few other passengers disembarked from the cruiser onto the docking bay. Rannoch had already improved so much since the last time they’d visited. The port was a seamless and fully functional facility, with several docking bays that could service dozens of ships at a time. It was an impressive sight to step out to, and Anya gaped at their surroundings to take in the enormity of it all.

A small family stood in the waiting area, Garrus had his arm wrapped around Tali’s shoulders and Jonah was waving at Thane and Anya as they approached. Breaking free from under Tali’s protective grasp, Jonah ran the distance between the two families and Anya set down her bags and kneeled to catch the young quarian in a tight embrace.

“Aunt Anya,” he said as he squeezed her. “You’re back.”

“Of course I’m back,” she rubbed the boy’s back as she chuckled, “How could I ever stay away from you?”

When he released her from the embrace she reclaimed her feet and the boy moved to hug Thane around the waist. “I’ve missed you, Uncle Thane.”

“We missed you too, Jonah.” Thane released one of the suitcases to pat Jonah on the head. Jonah released Thane and took a step back, bumping into Garrus as he and Tali joined their reunion. The men shook hands in greeting, and Tali and Anya hugged each other.

“How was your trip?” Asked Garrus as he relieved Thane of some of their bags.

Thane smiled at him and answered, “It was pleasant, thank you.”

As they walked, Tali hooked her arm through Anya’s and leaned in close. Laughing, she said, “So I heard that your resort was attacked by a mercenary group.”

“Yeah,” Anya scoffed indignantly. “Incredible isn’t it? I can’t even enjoy my own honeymoon without getting shot at.”

Tali chuckled lightheartedly at Anya’s forced displeasure, “So you had a good time then?”

Nodding enthusiastically, she replied, “It was great.” Anya gave Tali a sideways glance and asked, “So, what’s my surprise? Thane’s immune to my powers of persuasion and refuses to tell me.”

“That’s because he doesn’t know what it is either,” Garrus supplied, his mandibles flaring into a turian smirk.

Thane gave Anya a playfully heated look, “And I am far from immune to your powers of persuasion, Siha.”

Groaning in disgust, Garrus quickly changed the subject as he led them from the spaceport to the sky-car waiting for them   
outside. After shoving their luggage into the trunk they climbed into the tight fitting vehicle, Garrus and Tali claiming the front seats as Thane, Anya, and Jonah squeezed into the back, the young quarian boy demanding to sit between them.

They took to the skies, ambient music playing softly over the stereo as the sky-car whipped through the open air. Anya looked out the window and watched the scenery as they zipped by. Rannoch had grown even more since the last time they’d visited. There was enough housing and workspace for everyone in the migrant fleet.

“Rannoch’s coming along nicely,” she commented without removing her attention from the planet below.

“It is,” Garrus agreed, pride obvious in his voice. “We’ve opened trade with the volus and asari and there are even a few embassies opening up in the Capital.”

Thane made an impressed sound before stating, “All in such a short period of time.”

“To be fair, my people had been preparing for this moment for the last three hundred years.” Tali explained. “It was really only a matter of taking what we implemented in the migrant fleet and adapting it to our home world.”

“It was that easy, huh?” muttered Anya before smiling down at Jonah and saying, “I think your dear guardian, Tali, is bragging a little.”

Jonah nodded in happy agreement. “She does that.”

Anya looked over Jonah’s head and met Thane’s gaze and they shared an amused smile. When Tali made an offended sound, Anya teased her quarian friend, “He must have learned that smart mouth from you, Tali.”

“You wanna know what I learned from Garrus?”

She couldn’t help but grin down at the boy seated between her and Thane. “What?” wondered Anya with a laugh.

“He taught me how to calibrate my gamestation,” Jonah said with an enthusiasm that was loud enough to be heard from a mile away.

Anya laughed again. “Of course he did.”

“It’s best to teach them when they’re young, eh Garrus?” asked Thane as he joined in Anya’s amusement.

Garrus nodded and replied, his own mirth loud in his voice, “You’ve got that right.”

Shaking her head, Anya looked out the window again and watched as the scenery passed them by. After a minute she commented, “I don’t remember the drive to your house being this long.”

“It isn’t,” Tali agreed.

Garrus finished her thought. “We’re not going to our house.”

“Okay,” Anya drawled out as she peered out the windshield to watch as Garrus drove them up a hill. “Then where are we going?”

The sky-car hovered up the short incline and leveled out in front of a gorgeous manor style house not so different from the one that had hosted their wedding.

“Your house,” Garrus answered.

The house was an enormous thing that had an inviting front porch and large expansive windows, with painted blue shutters that sat lovely against the warm crème colored paint on the exterior of the house. The lawn was flush with carefully maintained green grass and encompassed by a beautifully old fashioned white picket fence. It was as if they had reached into vids from Earth’s early twenty first century and plucked out the perfect home; the kind that Anya had secretly dreamed about someday owning but had never expected to actually be able to.

Garrus found a space in the crowded driveway and parked the sky-car. When the doors were unlocked, Anya threw herself out of the vehicle and stared up at the heart wrenchingly perfect home standing before her. Taking in a deep breath she identified the smell of freshly cut grass and also the mouthwatering scent of meat cooking on a grill.

Taking his place beside her, Thane took her hand in his and joined her in admiring the enormity of this particular surprise. Anya pressed herself against her husband’s side and bit her lip to try and keep her emotions at bay. This was everything she could have ever hoped for in a home, it was everything she’d never had growing up. It was perfect. 

“Welcome home,” said Garrus as he wrapped his arm around Tali’s waist and they watched both Thane and Anya’s reaction. 

“Garrus, I --” she shook her head, unable to articulate any of the many questions that were trying to be voiced at once. “How did you -- when did -- I don’t know what to say.”

Thane looked over at their friends and smiled, “Other than thank you. This is . . .” he glanced down at Anya as he searched for the proper words. It looked like her husband was just as dumbstruck as she was. “humbling.”

“It’s our wedding gift to you,” Tali explained with a happy grin that could be clearly heard in her voice. “From all of us.”

Anya looked around at the sky-cars parked in the driveway and lifted an eyebrow, “All of us?”

“You’re brother said that housewarming parties are human custom.” said Garrus cautiously, uncertain whether or not he’d been lied to. “You don’t mind, do you?”

She smiled at the unsure look on Garrus’ plated features and assured him, “We don’t mind. Do we, dear?”

When Thane shook his head Tali clapped happily and said, “Come on, let us show you around.” Placing a hand on Jonah’s shoulder, she instructed the young boy, “Would you please make sure that everything is still in one piece around back, Jonah?”

The boy nodded and took off, running around the house to join the festivities going on in the back yard. As he disappeared, Tali gestured for them to follow her and led the small group up the short flight of stairs to the front porch. 

Pushing open the front door, Garrus stopped them from entering the house as he said, “The front door looks like wood doesn’t it, but it isn’t,” Waving the door in and out, he demonstrated the true weight of it and explained, “This is actually reinforced tungsten. It’s fireproof, bulletproof, rocket-proof, and for all intents and purposes, Shepard-proof. Also,” he pointed their attention to the corners of the spacious entryway. "I installed hidden turrets covering every entrance and window in the entire building.”

Anya shook her head in disbelief. She gave Garrus a playfully exasperated look before sardonically saying, “I’ve never felt safer in my entire life.”

“He might have gotten a little bit carried away,” Tali said with a laugh.

Her smile grew and she gave her adopted turian brother a grateful smile. “Thank you, Gare-Bear. This is all very thoughtful of you.”

“It’s not even the best part,” Tali said as she led them deeper into the house. The quarian woman sounded like a realtor as she walked them through the hall and towards the first room on the right. “The wood flooring is an adapted Santos Mahogany imported from Eden Prime, the trees grow like weeds there, it would be criminal not to harvest them. Also the layout of the house is an adaptation of Earth’s twenty-first century’s Michigan Victorian. There’s a lot of space, four bedrooms three bathrooms, and a large front and back yard.”

Anya’s mouth fell open as they stepped into the fully furnished den. They’d heard the word Victorian and ran with the style. The furniture was elegant and classy, beautifully upholstered to look antique while also having a modern touch. There was a fireplace on the far wall of the room and hanging above the large mantel was a intricately framed photograph of Anya and Thane on their wedding day. 

Covering her mouth with her hand, she fought back a wave of emotion that was prickling the backs of her eyes. They’d only seen the entrance and the den, and already Anya knew that the rest of the home was built and furnished with such care that it hit her right in the heart. This home was everything that she’d ever wanted and dreamed about. The love with which everything was put together was heart shattering. Anya had no words.

She turned towards Tali and Garrus, the two of them blurred behind a film of tears, and hooked her arms around both of their necks as she pulled them into a hug. Sniffing back the overwhelming emotion, she said, “Thank you guys so much, this is beautiful.”

“It wasn’t just us,” Garrus informed her as he pat her back, his chest vibrating as he chuckled at her emotional reaction.   
“Everyone contributed a little.”

Releasing them from her embrace, Anya stepped back and allowed Thane to also demonstrate his appreciation. She wiped the tears from her eyes and said, “Then let’s go out back so that we can thank everyone else too.”

Tali nodded and turned on her heel, “Right this way.” She took the long way to the back of the house, showing as much of their new home to Thane and Anya as possible before stepping out the sliding glass door and onto the outdoor patio. 

There was a party in full swing, the smell of barbeque filling her lungs as she inhaled. When they stepped out of the house and onto the patio there was a collective “Surprise!” as their friends and family welcomed Thane and Anya home. The heartwarming emotion that struck her was nearly too much for her to handle. 

She and Thane made it around the back yard, stopping to speak from one person to the next, thanking everyone for coming and for what they’d all done for them. The patio area was large enough to hold all of their friends, and then some. It was furnished with lovely custom made furniture, and there was a fire pit where the patio met the expansive lawn. The grill, where Michael was currently cooking piles of red meat, was an elaborate machine that doubled as a refrigerator and stove top.

As they made their way around the patio, back towards the food, they stopped by Kolyat and Oriana who were talking to Cassandra about interior design schools on Illium. Greeting Anya and Thane warmly, Kolyat handed Anya a beer who accepted the cold drink with a smile.

“So I guess we can thank you for the lovely furnishings of this amazing home?” Anya asked Cassandra as she booped baby Ana’s nose, who was hoisted on her mother’s hip. 

Cassandra grinned widely but shrugged as if it weren’t something to make a fuss over. “With Neelah’s help. Oriana and I were just talking about how she could benefit from going to a designer school on Illium.”

“Though I doubt she’d ever want to part with Niall.” Oriana stated with an affectionate smile. She glanced past Anya and Thane’s shoulders to where the couple in question was lounging by the fire pit. 

“He could always go with her,” Kolyat observed as he took a sip of his own drink.

Before anyone could reply to his comment, Michael shouted towards his sister. “Banana! Are you hungry, I bet you’re hungry, come grab a plate.” He didn’t wait for her to respond before shoving a plate piled high with delicious smelling meat into her hands. “Eat up, big sister.”

Too surprised by her brother’s enthusiasm to argue, she picked up a rib off of her plate and took a bite. The second her mouth was full, her brother was talking again. “So we have a gift for you.”

“Don’t you drag me into this, Michael,” Cassandra warned with a not-so-teasing smirk.

Ignoring his wife’s warning, he continued. “It used to be human custom that when a couple thought about having kids they’d get a pet first,” to the uncertain look in Anya’s eyes he inserted, “and no, your space hamster doesn’t count. It took some string pulling but we got you something.” Shouting over the din of the party, Michael called for his son to join them. His attention was back on Anya as he waited for Mika to come. “We’ve already test drived him and he’s good with kids, good with other animals, and he has all of his shots.”

Following her brother’s gaze, Anya turned around to watch as Mika parted through the crowded patio, carrying in his arms a floppy eared puppy. Swallowing the mouthful of food her brother had tricked her into eating, Anya handed her plate off to Thane and held her arms out in acceptance of the puppy that Mika reluctantly released into her possession.

As she cradled the big brown eyed dog in her arms, Michael explained, “I know that you took Thane’s name, but I thought there needs to be at least one Shepard in your household, even if it is just a German Shepherd.”

“Kael,” Anya played with the puppy’s floppy ears, earning herself a wet lick that started at her jaw and ended at her temple. Lovingly petting the dog’s soft fur, she wondered, “How did you get him off of Earth?”

“It wasn’t easy,” he admitted, scratching the back of his head in that way that he did when he was pretending to be modest.   
“With Liara’s help we got some strings pulled, and the Company owed me a few favors for losing me during the Reaper War. After some smuggling and some not so legal transactions we got him here.” Looking from Anya to Thane, he asked, “Please don’t tell Samara.”

Unable to help herself, Anya played with the puppy's large floppy ears and admired its large paws. It was going to have to grow into those paws, and if it did it was going to be a big dog. Looking up at Thane she gave him a pleading look. “Can we keep him?”

A large smile unearthed across Thane’s full lips as he reached out and pet the dog’s smooth coat. Taking one of its ears between his fingers, he felt the soft texture of the fur there and said, “He’s going to need a name.”

Squealing in delight, Anya pressed the puppy to her chest before holding it out at arms length and looking at it’s face as she decided. “He needs a strong name that means something to us,” she stated; and after some thought, she suggested, “What about Dantius?”

Thane’s smile grew. Nodding in approval, he said to the puppy, “Welcome to the family, Dantius.”


	38. Chapter 38

The sensation of something feathering over his scales stirred him from his slumber. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Thane brushed his fingers over his face and removed Anya’s hair from his side of the bed. It was incredible how her long crimson strands were able to do that. Their bed was enormous, even with Dantius sleeping soundly between them, and still her hair managed to find a way into his mouth.

Sitting up, he smiled softly at the sight of his family when they were the most at peace. This moment of twilight, just before night gave way to day, was the only time when he could capture them this way. In another few hours Anya would wake and get ready for another day at the office, wrestling with aspiring security officers and covert operation agents, her trusted dog happily panting at her side.

Thane pushed himself out of bed, and with a pet between Dantius’ ears, instructed the dog to stay with Anya. Rubbing what remained of the fog from his eyes as he walked, Thane made his way into the bathroom and blinked. As his eyes adjusted to the summoned light, his bleary gaze wandered over the chaotic countertop, searching for the toothpaste amid a disarray of bobby pins and other hair products. 

He shook his head, an amused smile on his lips as he returned everything to its proper place. Thane knew that if he went down to her workstation he wouldn’t be able to find a single thing out of place. Anya’s weapons were always oiled and neatly stored for easy and unproblematic retrieval. It was a shame that the Alliance hadn’t ingrained it into her reflexes for her to apply that same level of care into maintaining her more mundane personal items.

When he finally found the toothpaste, Thane proceeded with his early morning routine. After a quick shower he gave Anya, who was still snoring softly beside Dantius, a kiss on her brow before leaving their bedroom for the kitchen. Preparing himself a cup of tea, he retrieved a bowl of pre-cut fruit from the refrigerator to have as breakfast. After he was done eating he would start his meditations and training exercises, and he would still manage to be done before his wife made it down the stairs.

__

Three hours later, Thane was in the kitchen prepping Anya’s breakfast so that it would be waiting for her when she returned from her run. He hummed along to a recording of Ophelia’s Seventh, an asari orchestra from Ilium that Oriana had introduced him to as he worked. Dicing a tomato and some cilantro, Thane smiled softly to himself at the sound of Dantius barking happily, the dog’s paws pitter-pattered excitedly as he raced Anya down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Anya sang as she entered the kitchen, accepting the bottle of water from Thane when he offered it to her. 

Thane set down the knife he was working with as Anya closed the distance between them. Reaching for her, he tugged her the small distance between them and swiftly kissed her lips. “Good morning, Siha,” he replied before picking up a piece of sliced ham and offering it to Dantius, who was drooling in anticipation. “And good morning to you, Dantius.” Tossing the slice of meat towards the dog, Dantius caught his treat with a snap of his jaw and pranced around Thane as he whined for another. 

“Now, now, Dantius,” Anya scolded, “We don’t beg in this family.” When the dog returned to her side, she smiled up at Thane and wrapped her arms around his waist. She inspected the food he was preparing and stood on the tips of her toes to place a lingering kiss on his cheek. “You’re too good to me, Krios. What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“You mean aside from saving every sentient species in the entire galaxy from certain annihilation?”

She nodded, “Yeah, aside from the little stuff like that.”

“Well,” Thane moved until he had Anya pinned against the counter, his arms on either side of her as he leaned forward. He stared down at his beautiful wife and supplied, “You’re compassionate, selfless, kind,” with each adjective he brought his face closer to hers until his lips were brushing across her neck. “Plus,” he murmured, his breath causing gooseflesh to rise along the beautiful arch of her neck, “your body, and the things you do with it, are my undoing,” and bit into her neck.

Anya crushed her breasts against his chest with a moan, but before anything could come of it they were interrupted by an annoyed yelp. They glanced down at Dantius, who was staring up at them with his head curiously tilted to the side. Clearing her throat, Anya placed her hands on Thane’s chest and gently pushed him back so she could escape from under his hold.

“I should go,” she said, blinking as she tried to clear her mind, “for a run, I mean.” Shaking her head at Thane, she gave him a scolding smirk as she complained, “Damn it, Krios, now you’ve got me all discombobulated.” 

Turning toward the sliding glass door, Anya patted her leg as she addressed the dog. “Come on, Danni, let’s go for a run before I ravish your father.”

She gave Thane another scolding look as she left the kitchen, Dantius prancing excitedly beside her. Thane watched as she slid the door shut behind her and took off with the dog for a morning jog. Smiling to himself, he returned to his task of preparing Anya’s breakfast and lost himself in the melodic sound of the symphony coming from the speakers.

Several tracks of the beautiful symphony passed and breakfast was just about ready when a knock on the door interrupted Thane from his task. Glancing up from the cooking omelet he peered around to the security camera feed on a nearby screen, and was surprised to see a familiar asari standing at the doorstep. 

Turning down the heat of the stove top, Thane left the kitchen to answer the door. He punched in the security code, so that the egads wouldn’t descend and accidentally kill his guest, and opened the reinforced door, a welcoming smile on his lips.

“Liara,” he greeted as the door swept open. “What a pleasant surprise. Come in”

She smiled, abashed as she stepped into the house and wrapped her arms around Thane in a warm embrace. “I’m sorry about dropping in unannounced. I know I should have called, but I was just too excited and it couldn’t wait.”

Thane waved off her apology and gestured for her to walk with him. “You are always welcome here, Liara, announced or otherwise; you know that.” When she smiled softly at him, he asked, “I was cooking breakfast, are you hungry?”

Liara inhaled deeply and her soft smile grew a touch, “It smells delicious; but I ate on my way here.” When they entered the kitchen she stepped behind the island and looked around as she wondered, “Where’s Shepard?”

“Out on a run with Dantius,” he answered with a smile as he returned to the omelet he’d left on the stove. “They should be back any minute.”

Her smile turned amused at the mention of the Anya’s furry companion. “She really loves that dog, doesn’t she?”

“She does,” Thane flipped the omelet over to cook it through. Without looking back at Liara he stated, “She treats him like a son, and from what I’ve read it is a normal behavior for humans to have toward their companion animals.” When Liara made a soft amused sound at his statement, Thane asked, “So what brings you all the way out here?”

“Ferron needed to talk to a few quarian diplomats to try and expand the Shadow Broker’s reach,” she replied. When Thane glanced over his shoulder back at her, he arched an eyebrow, wordlessly observing that it was a task that Ferron wouldn’t need Liara to accompany him on. Biting her lip as though she’d been caught, Liara supplied, “And I have news that I need to share with the both of you.”

Turning off the stove, Thane turned around to slide the fresh omelet onto a plate and put the pan in the sink. As he washed the pan off, he inquired, “What kind of news?”

She shook her head, “We should wait for Anya to get back.”

As if on cue the sliding glass door opened and Dantius rushed into the house straight for where Liara was seated at the island. As the asari leaned over to greet Dantius, Anya noticed Liara and gave Thane a surprised look. He shrugged in answer to her unasked question.

“Liara,” she said, wiping the sweat from her brow with the crook of her arm. “What are you doing here?”

Making an insulted sound, Liara straightened herself in her seat and gave Anya a playfully offended look. “Well hello to you too, Shepard.”

“Oh don’t pout,” Anya groaned as she moved to sit on one of the other bar stools lined up at the island. She winked in thanks to Thane when he placed her plate in front of her before returning her attention to Liara and explaining, “I’d hug you but I’m all sweaty.”

Liara made a face at the thought but smiled warmly at Anya as she said, “Thank you for your consideration.” After a moment of worrying her fingers in her lap, Liara finally decided to tell them the purpose of her visitation. “I have news for both of you.”

“Okay,” Anya drawled out as she picked up her silverware and started to dig in to her breakfast. She glanced to Thane and when he shrugged she asked, “What kind of news?”

Liara also glanced at Thane as she began her explanation. “If you recall, I approached you some time ago to ask your permission to ‘get the ball rolling’ on something.” 

Anya’s emerald eyes carefully watched Thane as he tensed. Glancing back at Liara she asked, “What are you going on about?” She returned her attention to Thane to ask him, “What did she ask your permission for?”

Not wanting to keep his wife floundering in the dark, Thane supplied, “Liara wanted to help us get a child of our own.” His gaze was on their asari friend as he finished, “She wanted to get the adoption process started for us.”

“What?” Anya tore her gaze from Thane and gaped at Liara in disbelief. “How - I -what?”

Nervously smiling at Anya, Liara overlooked her questions and went on with her explanation. Removing two data pads from her coat, Liara handed one to each of them as she spoke, “It has taken a lot of string pulling and finding loopholes in the system, but I’ve compiled a list of potential adoption candidates.”

*

Anya stared down at the datapad in her hand, struggling to catch her breath as her heart tried to beat its way out of her chest. Chewing on her bottom lip, she glanced up at Thane and met his nervous gaze. Did he feel as uncertain about all of this as she did? 

Looking back down at the datapad, she hesitantly started to look through the information on the device. There was a list of children with their birthdates and medical records, personality test results, and a description of their appearance along with a photo. These were children, real life, living, breathing, feeling children, and Anya felt like she was recruiting for another suicide mission. She picked through the files one by one but instead of seeing credentials of trained killers, soldiers or thieves she was skimming over the profiles of orphaned or abandoned children in need of a home, in need of a mother. 

A mother, she thought and her nervousness doubled. Was she ready for that? Did she even have what it took to raise an impressionable young life? Anya had taken so many lives. She’d been the harbinger of death and destruction for so much of her military career that she wasn’t sure she was capable of anything else. This was another person, a life that would be trusted into her care to love and to raise, but her hands had only brought death. It was why the gods had taken away her uterus, so that she’d never be able to taint another living person with her darkness.

Setting down the datapad on the countertop, Anya shook her head and mumbled, “I can’t,” before pushing herself out of her seat and retreating to Thane’s study. She ignored Liara as her friend tried to stop her from fleeing, and barely heard as Thane assured Liara that he’d take care of it. 

Anya closed the door to Thane’s study and stepped in front of the large windows, allowing the sunlight to wash over her and calm her racing heart. She sucked in a deep, steadying breath and shut her eyes, giving her conflicting thoughts the chance to settle down to something less disorienting. Swallowing hard against the mass in her throat, Anya’s nerves started to dissipate just as Thane joined her in his study.

“Siha,” he said as he stepped up behind her. Placing his hands on her shoulders, Thane pulled her back until she was pressed against him. “I thought this was what you wanted.”

She bit her lip and shook her head. “It is,” Anya confessed with a weary sigh. “It’s just . . . sudden.” Turning around to face her husband, she gave him a confused look as she asked, “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

Thane brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face as he answered, “I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, mission accomplished,” she teased with a soft chuckle, “I’m surprised.” As she stared up at him, her smile fell and she shook her head. “Thane, this is a big decision.”

“I know it is,” he replied and cupped  her cheek in his hand. He smiled softly down at her when she leaned into his touch. Brushing his thumb over her cheek, he observed, “You’ve always wanted a family, Anya. Being a mother has always been a dream for you. Liara is presenting us with an opportunity to make that dream into a reality, but instead of taking it you ran.” Thane tilted her face up to him and he stared deep into her eyes as he asked, “Why did you run?”

Anya shook her head. Grinding her teeth, she tried to keep the emotion from her voice as she forced the answer out. “Because I’m scared.” She stared up into the green of Thane’s eyes for a moment, trying to find strength in them, and pushed herself to continue. “I’m a killer, Thane. What good would I be as a mother if all I know is how to do is take lives?”

“You’re a protector, Anya.” When she tried to look away, Thane lifted her chin to keep her attention on him. The expression on his features was serious, demanding that she listen to him. “You defend the ones you love no matter the cost, and you have so much love to give. Do you think you are the first person to feel this fear?” He shook his head in answer to his own question. “Parenthood is a terrifying thing, and all parents feel the very same thing you are feeling right now. I know that I did.”

“What if I’m a terrible mother? What if our children grow up to hate me?” She argued, feeling tears start to prick the backs of her eyes and she tried to blink them back. A thousand times she’d imagined being presented with the opportunity to start her own family, and in none of those scenarios had she considered that this might be her reaction. She imagined herself feeling joy and excitement, not uncertainty and paralyzing fear. 

“You won’t be.” He assured her. “You will make a great mother because that is who you are. You are nurturing and patient, and you love with a ferocity that is sometimes frightening.” Thane smiled down at her and Anya felt a bit of her nervousness start to ebb away. “Just give yourself the chance and you’ll see that you were always meant to be a mother.”

She stared up at him for a moment, worrying her bottom lip as she let his words envelop her with his warmth and love. Thane had such faith in her. He believed that she could be a great mother, and she knew that he was a great father. They were a team, it wasn’t like she was going to raise this child on her own. Setting her jaw, Anya made her decision. She would at least give herself the chance, and with Thane’s help she’d be the woman he thought she was.

“Okay,” she nodded. “Let’s do it.”

A grin spread across Thane’s lips. Brushing a swift kiss over her mouth, he threaded his fingers through hers and led her out of his study back towards the kitchen. He handed the datapad back to her as she settled into her seat beside Liara and picked up his own to look through the files stored there.

Glancing up at Liara, Anya gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t be sorry, Shepard,” Liara gently placed her hand on Anya’s leg and gave it a friendly squeeze. “I’m doing this for you. The decision whether or not to go through with it is yours to make.”

Nodding sharply, Anya stared down at the datapad and sighed. She started skimming over the information again, looking through each child’s profile as she imagined them in her life. The compiled list held children of varying species and ages. There was a newborn asari and even a little turian boy that was already six years old. As Anya looked through each child’s dossier she wondered how someone could make this kind of decision.  It was a heartbreaking feeling knowing that she could only take in one of these children while hoping to the gods that the others might someday find a good home as well.

Just as she was about to throw in the towel for the second time that day, something about the  file she had just opened stood out. It was for a baby girl, only fourteen months old, who’d been orphaned at birth.

“Here’s one,” she said to Thane, fidgeting nervously in her seat as he looked up from his own datapad. “Peyton River Andrews. It says her parents were Alliance.”

Liara nodded as though she knew exactly the profile Anya was referring to. “Daughter of Vincent and Dianne Andrews. I thought she might catch your eye.” said Liara with a soft smile. “Her father died during the battle in London before her mother learned she was pregnant. Dianne carried Peyton to term, but was caught in the crossfire of a red sand deal gone wrong. She died on the ambulance ride to the hospital but the EMT’s were able to safely deliver the baby.”

She stared at Liara, overwhelmed by the atrocity of the story. “That’s so tragic,” sighed Anya, unable to truly articulate what a catastrophe the poor infant’s birth really was. Shaking her head, she wondered, “Doesn’t she have any family?”

Liara shook her head in answer. “She has no living relatives, and any friends of the family aren’t really in a position to take her in.”

Chewing on her bottom lip, Anya stared at the small photo provided of the orphaned baby girl. The little girl had the largest eyes Anya had ever seen, they were big pools of glacial blue green, the shade of an iceberg reflecting the water’s surface. She had a full head of raven black hair and her skin was a pale cream. She was gorgeous.

Peyton Krios, Anya repeated the name to herself as she imagined what it would be like to have a daughter. Glancing up at Thane, she stared at her husband as she asked, “What do you think?”

Thane smiled at Anya and replied, “I think I’ve always wanted a daughter.”


	39. Chapter 39

Her dream was interrupted by the shrill sound of Peyton crying. Anya shot up and threw the comforter aside. Glancing down at her husband she frowned at the sight of him hugging his pillow as if he was still asleep. Yeah, her assassin mate hadn’t been stirred by their daughter’s cries of bloody murder, how very unlikely.

Nudging his shoulder, she scolded, “How can you pretend to be asleep right now? Our daughter sounds like she’s being killed.”

“Give her some pain medication,” he calmly instructed, hugging his pillow a little tighter. “It’ll help with the fever and the pain.”

She climbed out of their bed, quickly pulling on her robe as she said, “But listen to her, she’s so upset.” The sounds of their daughter’s cries broke her heart. Anya was new at this, she didn’t have Thane’s unshakable calm. Hearing Peyton in pain was unbearable. 

“Of course she is, she’s in pain.” Thane replied, “Anya, this just has to run it’s course.”

Anya sighed, knowing that Thane was right but still uncomfortable by the sound of their daughter in pain. She whispered, “I’ll get her,” as she left their bedroom. 

Flicking on the hallway light, she ran through their home towards the nursery, where their disgruntled daughter was wailing. She opened the door to find Dantius pacing up and down the room, whining at the sharp sound of Peyton’s distress. The german shepherd had gone from being Anya’s loyal pooch to Peyton’s trusted protector. He had seemingly adopted her as his litter mate and couldn’t be forced from Peyton’s side.

Peyton stood inside of her crib, her cheeks reddened with tears as she cried out in pain. As Anya approached the crib’s side, she cooed, “I know it hurts, sweetheart, but you’ve been such a good girl.” She stroked back Peyton’s black hair before pulling the little girl into her arms and rocking her back and forth as she patted Peyton’s bottom in attempt to sooth her tears.

The poor girl had an ear infection and wasn’t handling the pain very well. She was typically a quiet and good natured baby, slow to tears and low hassle, but the infection was proving to be her undoing. Taking the still whimpering baby into the bathroom, with Dantius trailing at her heels, Anya removed the bottle of ear drops and a child dose of pain reliever from the medicine cabinet and tucked the ear drops under her arm as she set Peyton down on the counter to give her the pain reliever. When the medicine had been swallowed, Anya hummed a tune to keep Peyton calm. 

Returning to the nursery, Anya sat down on the futon on the wall opposite of the crib and held Peyton closely to her chest as she waited for the eardrops to warm up. “You know, if your father wasn’t pretending to be asleep your ear drops would’ve been warm by now.” She said loud enough for her husband to hear from the bedroom as she rocked Peyton and kissed the side of her head. “Daddy doesn’t understand that mommy gets nervous when you cry like this, does he?” Anya shook her head in answer to her own question. “No he doesn’t.”

After a minute or so Peyton’s whimpers died down to soft discontented mews. Rubbing her daughter’s back, Anya placed another kiss on Peyton’s head before moving her onto the futon and resting the little girl’s head on her lap. She stroked Peyton’s obsidian hair as she whispered, “Mommy’s going to make it better, okay?” Gently holding her daughter’s infected ear, she let a few drops fall into the wall of her ear canal and, setting the bottle aside, stroked Peyton’s back as she started to hum to the baby girl in her lap.

It was incredible how quickly this little life had become the center of her entire universe. Anya’s every instinct was to protect Peyton, her daughter, the little girl whose glacial blue green eyes gave purpose to her life. She didn’t think that it was possible to love anyone aside from Thane as much as she did, but Peyton proved that Anya had more love in her heart than she knew what to do with.

She stared down at her daughter for a while, humming softly as she stroked the baby girl’s soft hair. As Anya admired the milky tone of Peyton’s skin, she considered what a blessing her life had become since being reunited with her soul mate. Thane gave her life meaning, and Peyton gave her life purpose. Anya had everything she’d ever wanted, everything she’d always thought beyond her reach. Now all she wanted was a few more winks of sleep.

A small contented smile crawled across her mouth as she leaned her head against the back of the futon and let her eyelids flutter shut. Peyton would hopefully be down for at least another two hours, meaning that she hopefully had at least two more hours to sleep as well. She’d take what she could get.

___

“What do you think you are doing, young lady?” asked Anya at the sound of Peyton’s grunts of frustration. She turned from the sink to find her daughter at the refrigerator door, trying to tug it open, unaware that her efforts were being foiled by the child-lock securing it shut. 

Peyton turned her glacial eyes to Anya and answered, “Juth.”

“You have juice,” Anya replied and gestured toward the child sized table in the dining room.

“Mo juth,” said Peyton as she gave the refrigerator door another tug. 

Arching an eyebrow, Anya corrected, “More juice what?”

Peyton released the handle and turned to face Anya. Starring up at Anya with her big pleading eyes she said, “Peath.”

“Good girl,” Anya turned off the sink and dried her hands on a washcloth before moving toward the baby girl and stroking back her fine hair. Smiling down at her daughter she instructed, “Go eat your breakfast and I’ll bring you more juice.” 

As the child wobbled off to do as she was told, Anya unlocked the refrigerator and opened it while explaining, “Mommy and Daddy have a long day at work today. You need to eat up so we can drop you off at uncle Michael’s house.”

Retrieving the apple juice from the refrigerator, Anya turned in time to see Peyton feeding Dantius some of her dry cereal. “Dantius, no,” Anya barked and pointed for the kitchen’s entryway. With his tail between his legs, the dog skittered from Peyton’s side to wait outside the kitchen for his punishment to end. “Dantius has his own food, Peyton. He doesn’t need yours.”

“Dany, no,” Peyton repeated as Anya picked up her daughter’s sippy cup to fill it with more juice. When the top of the cup was secured, the little girl reached up with a happy, “Juth!”

Certain that, at least for the moment, Peyton would stay put in her seat, Anya returned to the sink to finish doing the dishes. Thane was taking an important call in his study and had been gone for almost half an hour already. As she scrubbed eggs from the frying pan, she wondered what it was that had pulled her husband away so urgently. Thane loved these domestic moments with their family and wouldn’t have let the call take this long if it wasn’t extremely important.

The sound of Peyton shouting, “Dada!” pulled Anya from her thoughts and she turned to see Thane enter the kitchen and crouch down to catch his charging daughter. Pulling her into a tight embrace, Thane stood up and walked to where Anya was watching them by the sink. He gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek before moving Peyton to do the same; the child's affection was a wet open mouth kiss.

Wiping her daughter’s drool from her cheek, Anya smiled at Peyton before moving her gaze to her husband’s thoughtful features.There was a weighty air around Thane, broadcasting his broody aura enough for Anya to feel it in her stomach. She stared into the green of her mate’s eyes as she inquired, “Who were you talking to?”

“Irikah’s sister,” he answered, his brows furrowing as he reflected on the recent conversation. Walking over to Peyton’s seat, he set her down and squatted down beside her to watch her eat. Thane’s gaze was on their daughter as he explained, “Their cousin has just passed away.”

Surprised, all Anya could really say in response was, “That’s terrible.”

Thane nodded in agreement. “She and her husband were in a car accident, both died upon impact.” He fell silent for a moment, his features heavy with the weight of this knowledge. “They left behind their three year old son, Jax.”

Anya’s heart broke for that poor little boy who now had to grow up without a mother or a father. These sorts of accidents should have been avoidable in this day and age, but they weren’t. There were still many circumstances such as this one, people dying needless deaths and leaving their loved ones behind. That poor boy.

He stroked Peyton’s black hair, watching her closely as she played with her food and talked quietly to herself in her baby gibberish. Without looking up from their daughter, Thane continued, “She called because the hanar are looking to recruit him under the compact.”

“At three years old?” Anya asked in disbelief.

“They wouldn’t take him until he’s five or six,” Thane assured her before explaining, “Orphans make the best assassins. With no familial ties it would be easier to erase his sense of empathy.”

Taken aback, Anya incredulously asked, “They want to take away his humanity?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Thane nodded. “Tania, Irikah’s sister, thinks that Jax’s only hope of getting out of the compact is if we take him in as our own.”

Anya watched her husband as he stared at their daughter. Thane was an excellent father, just like she knew he would be. He loved without limits and cherished Peyton with an intensity that was painfully endearing. Moving her gaze from the both of them, she inspected their spacious home. They had more than enough room both inside the house and inside their hearts. If she was the only hope a little boy had to live a normal life then it was her duty to make sure that he did. 

“Let’s do it.”

Thane’s gaze shot up to meet hers and carefully gauge her sincerity. “You’re certain?” When she nodded, he asked, “Shouldn’t we discuss this more thoroughly?”

Shrugging, she responded, “What’s to discuss? Our home is enormous, we have money, we can offer him the best education, and we’re not too bad at this whole parenting thing.” She offered her husband a small smile as she strode toward Peyton’s table and crouched down opposite of Thane. 

“If it had been Kolyat would you have wanted him to be taken in under the compact?” When Thane shook his head she went on. “Jax’s life just started, if we don’t help him we might be taking away his only chance to know all the beautiful things life has to offer. Besides,” she twirled a lock of Peyton’s hair in her fingers and let a smile expand over her lips. “Peyton needs a big brother to look out for her. Don’t you, Peyton?”

A happy grin appeared on the baby girl’s face as she pointed at the dog still banished from the kitchen. “Dany!”

“Another brother,” Anya corrected with a laugh.

A small smile played at the edges of Thane’s mouth as he regarded Peyton. Taking in a deep breath he looked up to meet Anya’s gaze. He stared into her eyes for a moment, searching her features for any signs of doubt before saying, “I’ll make the arrangements.”

Anya crawled around Peyton to give Thane a long, approving kiss. Breaking away from him, she stared into the green of his large eyes and said, “You are an amazing man, Mr. Krios.”

Brushing back her crimson hair he stared lovingly back at her. “And still I am unworthy of you, Mrs. Krios.” He pulled her back in for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feedback is much appreciated!


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